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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:23
Blessed silence00:00:26
One of my friends whose name I00:00:28
will not mention here and Soon you will understand00:00:31
Why he served in law enforcement agencies, or00:00:34
rather in the homicide department of the police, he was00:00:38
there not only in charge but also not in the rank and00:00:41
file, while00:00:43
my friend was a man of the most serious character I’m00:00:46
not at all inclined to stupid jokes, which00:00:49
allowed me to always trust him in everything so00:00:51
that he wouldn’t tell me. One day00:00:54
my friend came to me not exactly on an00:00:57
official visit, but rather, according to the old00:01:00
habit of Obama, there were bachelors; on my00:01:03
personal front, things didn’t work out because00:01:05
unsociability characteristic of many papers,00:01:08
I am a speaker by nature, a homebody from those who00:01:12
make contact with great difficulty, but00:01:15
on the contrary, I was very loving, which is00:01:18
generally common among men of his00:01:20
profession, but due to the attraction to the fair00:01:23
sex, apparently I could not make the00:01:25
final choice two marriages two00:01:28
divorce, many successive00:01:31
mistresses, we lived next door in00:01:35
small one-room apartments on00:01:37
different floors of shabby Khrushchev buildings. Each00:01:40
of us could go to the other at any time of the00:01:43
day or night just without warning00:01:45
for salt or matches to find out how things were going00:01:48
or to exchange a couple of00:01:50
meaningless phrases there was always something to talk about00:01:53
that his area of professional00:01:55
interests intersected with my show00:02:00
199000:02:02
political financial bombs exploded00:02:05
one after another in the Caucasus00:02:07
real explosions thundered women children were taken00:02:10
hostage the world was dirty and smelled like carrion00:02:13
like a gateway littered with waste a00:02:16
personal computer was considered a luxury00:02:18
Personally, I used a writing machine the00:02:21
old woman’s Erika typewriter is now gathering dust00:02:24
somewhere on the mezzanine, wi-fi stoves and00:02:27
mobile phones have not yet entered the00:02:30
common lexicon. But in those days,00:02:32
people more often dropped in to visit each other00:02:34
and preferred live communication. To the crooked00:02:37
mirror of the online world, my friend00:02:40
looked gloomier that day As usual, his face was even00:02:43
pale and there were bluish spots under his eyes,00:02:45
as if he hadn’t closed his eyelids for several days.00:02:48
We went into the kitchen where I00:02:50
poured us some hot tea and asked if he00:02:53
looked unwell, maybe it happened that00:02:56
at first he didn’t answer, he just silently00:02:59
took a sip of the aromatic liquid, warming his palms00:03:01
from the wall of the mug, although in the yard the foliage was already turning00:03:04
green with all its might and the gentle spring00:03:06
sun generously poured into the street with streams of heat.00:03:09
The summer that year, if you remember, turned out to be00:03:13
dry and hot. By August it turned the00:03:16
huge city into an oven, but00:03:19
in the spring the weather was still remarkably00:03:21
gentle, evoking thoughts that everything not00:03:24
so bad,00:03:25
something to live for, something to strive for, the more00:03:28
surprising it was to see the00:03:30
state in which my friend was after sitting00:03:34
for a while. He suddenly asked if00:03:37
I had anything stronger. And then when I00:03:40
took out from the cupboard a00:03:42
bottle of port wine00:03:44
and a couple of cut glasses said,00:03:46
you know, I want you one thing To tell me it00:03:51
makes me feel bad if I00:03:53
start reading And it might come in handy for you, as a detective, to00:03:57
be interested in what kind of thing this is that makes a00:04:00
completely experienced policeman feel00:04:03
uneasy I sat down opposite and00:04:06
looked expectantly at the guest a week ago00:04:08
they caught we are the same soul, the lip began, it’s00:04:12
true that the soul’s lips can’t be said in any other way, he00:04:15
turned out to be completely crazy,00:04:17
one of the locals called the office when he00:04:20
saw a naked man in the morning.00:04:22
You can just imagine your head in the courtyard of a00:04:24
five-story residential building,00:04:25
so you never know how many psychos got divorced. Wait,00:04:29
he was not only naked but and from head to00:04:32
toe literally covered in blood, and00:04:34
it wasn’t his own, we immediately realized it was00:04:37
painfully too much of it. For such a00:04:39
Zhivchik Wow, they00:04:42
came for him to00:04:45
pack him up at the police station, and he, you know, smiles so00:04:47
strangely strangely on his own wavelength. In general,00:04:50
don’t understand in what hovering in pink clouds00:04:53
imagine a picture of a scribbler the morning the sun00:04:56
is rising the birds in the trees are chirping And here00:04:59
in the courtyard under the windows of a residential building there is a00:05:01
bloody naked man standing and smiling00:05:04
like a child Some kind of00:05:05
Gothic she is the shortest00:05:09
he does not answer the question Why naked Whose00:05:12
blood is on him is silent, knowing to himself he’s smiling,00:05:15
kind of like a kid who grabbed a toy for a day of00:05:17
jam, which he’s been dreaming about all year.00:05:19
However, there’s00:05:22
a grandmother running around nearby, you know such00:05:24
gossips. In any January, it’s not00:05:27
hard to find packs of them; in their old age, they have00:05:29
nothing to do. So they’re watching everyone, like00:05:33
the KGB itself came up to us and said so they say,00:05:36
and so at night I heard some noise from the00:05:38
garages next to that house, it’s on00:05:41
Lunacharsky, a little on the outskirts, there’s still a00:05:44
frozen construction site. Remember, there are00:05:47
garages nearby. These are the usual boxes of00:05:48
beaten bricks. And grandma means she doesn’t00:05:51
sleep well at night, this happens to them. So00:05:54
I heard either a Scream or a creaking and then what00:05:57
next? And then my friend00:06:01
sighed indescribably heavily and00:06:03
drained the glass in one fell swoop and only then,00:06:06
without even wincing, he continued to explore00:06:09
these garages for a long time;00:06:15
they themselves are00:06:18
full of wild garbage and00:06:20
corresponding to the amber But this box00:06:22
smelled naturally like from a slaughterhouse00:06:25
briefly so cloying, if only the sun had00:06:29
already started to shine by that time and the00:06:31
walls and roofs of the garage were00:06:33
lined with corrugated metal and inside, well, I00:06:38
won’t tell you that he shook his00:06:41
head, I’m sorry, I can’t just say one thing00:06:45
in our brigade. A lot of people are old, still from00:06:48
the Soviet days, they’ve seen everything, but the00:06:51
whole brigade was belching in unison everywhere,00:06:53
such is the mother of her, the00:06:56
alibaba cave opened to us with these words, he00:07:00
pulled out an ordinary penny00:07:02
bag from his bosom into which there were several pieces of paper wrapped up,00:07:06
a diary, we were in the garage, Tom found the notes of00:07:10
that abnormal person, of course I00:07:13
have no right to give you the originals, but I made00:07:15
copies, you just read it. Be prepared00:07:18
morally, he wrote a lot of things there, a00:07:20
schizoid, this reasoning is all sorts of things, too, a00:07:24
thinker turned out to be a philosopher like you,00:07:27
Damn I I would like to immediately unwrap the00:07:30
cellophane and start reading, but00:07:32
my friend stopped me by barking, wait00:07:35
in front of me, don’t he got up, I’ll go as soon as I00:07:39
leave then Read if you’re very curious,00:07:43
but then don’t say anything to me, okay,00:07:46
I’m passing these notes on to you to00:07:49
get you out of your head for at least some time -00:07:51
while the relay baton or something,00:07:53
let you have a headache now, otherwise I can’t00:07:57
sleep normally,00:07:59
these pieces of paper will be useful to you, no, okay, but00:08:03
I’d better get drunk so I can quickly forget about everything00:08:06
with which he left me and left without saying goodbye00:08:10
when he arrived gloomy, thoughtful, even00:08:13
kind of angry, looking ahead, I’ll say that00:08:16
I saw him then, of course, not for the last00:08:18
time, but later our friendship somehow00:08:21
slowly faded away on its own.00:08:28
since he didn’t have to cross paths with00:08:30
me a couple of years later, my neighbor retired00:08:34
from the police and went into business where he apparently00:08:36
achieved some success because he00:08:38
sold his apartment. And he himself moved from the00:08:41
region to the center and he left here00:08:43
in a jeep. I’m still here to this day00:08:46
because As you yourself know, the circulation of00:08:49
paperback books in our time00:08:51
has shrunk and it’s indecent, and by rewriting or00:08:54
copywriting the idiotic news language, you ca00:08:57
n’t earn a decent life in anything00:09:00
other than working with the word I’m not00:09:03
trained But to be completely honest,00:09:06
they divided us, took us to different sides00:09:08
of life throwing some to the side of the road,00:09:11
and bringing others onto the highway, not by00:09:14
circumstances, nor by common personal00:09:16
priorities and abilities not given to everyone by00:09:19
nature, and just00:09:21
a few pitiful crumpled sheets for an00:09:24
A4 copier, having studied the subject of the00:09:27
conversation at that time, I pass it on to you00:09:30
now as is without any00:09:32
corrections written in places, maybe a00:09:35
little confusingly, but overall competently And00:09:38
unfortunately For the most part in a completely00:09:40
clear and understandable language Unfortunately00:09:43
because it would probably be better half of what was00:09:45
written turned out to be impossible to understand,00:09:49
but judge for yourself,00:09:53
here’s the idea or not The idea is that00:09:58
according to Plato is found above ours00:10:00
mind and descends to some of us00:10:03
as a reward or punishment, it is not clear00:10:06
for what merits or faults the idea of a00:10:10
common phrase of the German philosopher that does00:10:13
not kill us makes us stronger is00:10:16
only partly true, since the stronger is the00:10:18
wrong word, the strength of the concept is00:10:21
relative and very subjective00:10:22
whether the [ __ ] to whom becomes stronger00:10:25
cut off legs by train is an example of00:10:28
fabulous power that has sunk to the bottom of life00:10:30
and a sighing alcoholic with a diseased00:10:32
liver a drug addict with leaky veins no00:10:36
something that does not kill you completely or00:10:39
seeks to finish you off or changes it00:10:42
Takes you to another level which Before00:10:45
you were not able to comprehend what was00:10:47
revealed by a higher power or simply00:10:50
by fate, an idea can change you00:10:54
so much that internally you will become a00:10:56
completely different new person, so here's00:10:59
an idea for you. Nobody knows what00:11:03
real pleasure is. I asked00:11:06
different people, smart and stupid, about this. Some people00:11:09
said one thing and another, but none of the00:11:12
answers can be called00:11:13
satisfactory. one of them is not00:11:15
capable of killing my curiosity. And00:11:18
the idea that is gnawing at me is too00:11:21
unusual for me to share it with00:11:23
anyone, at least in conversation.00:11:26
Perhaps it will work out better on paper, as long as00:11:30
these notes do not catch the eye of my00:11:32
missus, or even worse, our00:11:35
boy, however He is always in the yard and00:11:38
she is either at work or with her friends, so there is00:11:41
time to express my thoughts and00:11:43
observations and then hide them somewhere00:11:46
away until the next free opportunity,00:11:48
I will have quite enough here the text00:11:52
was cut off, the continuation was found on00:11:54
another page and so it was obvious several times00:11:56
what -parts of the Notes were made00:11:59
over a long period of00:12:01
time, with interruptions, bought a garage, or rather,00:12:04
rented it for a year from a local00:12:07
cooperative. It cost a pretty penny, but I’m still00:12:10
happy. Let Lenka be indignant.00:12:12
Why do we need it? If we don’t have a car And00:12:15
won’t eat things in the coming years more important than00:12:18
cars Yes, can’t you understand00:12:22
that it takes me a long time to choose a suitable place,00:12:26
take aim, decide, sometimes our00:12:29
actions are determined by an unreasonable calculation, and00:12:31
pure intuition, from the garage,00:12:34
some kind of sixth sense came into play,00:12:37
I caught my eye,00:12:40
an advertisement glued to a lamppost nearby, an advertisement about a00:12:42
missing puppy, it seemed like something00:12:45
clicked everything was decided in seconds a00:12:49
big idea A great idea can mature for00:12:52
years but once the process is started it can00:12:56
no longer be stopped there is now a lot of snow on the street waist-deep00:12:58
snowdrifts on the sidelines Vanka00:13:01
and his friends sculpt huge balls with00:13:03
a roar and launch them down the hill my00:13:07
idea was formed like this for such a00:13:10
snowball and a light poke was enough for her to00:13:14
pick up speed and roll down,00:13:17
woe to anyone who happens to be in the way of this projectile, it will be hit, it will be carried away with it, it will turn00:13:23
into an avalanche that crushes everything.00:13:28
My hands were even shaking with impatience00:13:30
when I was paying with the director of00:13:32
the cooperative, I dropped one of the bills in00:13:35
dirt stained He thought that I was shaking from00:13:37
the cold He offered to drink to warm up00:13:39
At the same time I refused to wash And so I was00:13:43
drunk from overwhelming emotions Renting a00:13:46
garage is the first step from many years of theory to00:13:49
practice A successful investment in the future A00:13:52
great experience, firstly, not far from home it will00:13:55
be possible little by little It’s better to prepare00:13:58
at night so that no one sees and doesn’t bother with00:14:00
stupid questions; secondly, the walls are00:14:03
good, dense. Brick luggage on top of00:14:06
which is corrugated fabric; you just need to line the00:14:09
gate from the inside with some00:14:12
soundproofing material; the room is00:14:14
of course not very large and there is a00:14:17
fair amount of rubbish from the old owner; empty00:14:20
bottles wrenches, broken hacksaw,00:14:22
I don’t know, maybe something will work out, I do00:14:25
n’t know,00:14:28
talking about drug addiction. For that matter,00:14:32
this is just a vivid example of one of00:14:36
those addictions that life is remembered for. It00:14:38
all starts small with a vivid,00:14:42
memorable sensation, on the basis of00:14:44
which it grows gradually filling00:14:47
your entire being, real mania in00:14:51
early childhood, I witnessed a00:14:52
terrible incident, I needed to go to the00:14:56
grocery store, there were soda fountains near it,00:14:58
and on the way out, I saw00:15:01
how a careless mother, crossing the road with a baby00:15:04
stroller at an intersection, got hit00:15:07
by a huge truck that looked like military00:15:10
robots from the dark of the future Like in the00:15:13
Terminator Mass, an ugly square00:15:16
cabin with a predatory grinning00:15:18
radiator grille in front and a nasty00:15:21
orange body in the back with large00:15:23
deadly wheels, the driver did not00:15:26
see the pedestrian, the lady ended up in which00:15:29
zone, briskly with a growl, the MAZ set off00:15:32
on a green soft-boiled stroller, but00:15:35
the little woman remained alive but screaming It’s00:15:37
scary, of course,00:15:40
passers-by, residents of neighboring houses, came running all over the street. The woman00:15:43
spilled out. Walking right on the road in a pool of00:15:45
blood and something else, she moved her hands over the00:15:49
mess, as if trying to assemble a stroller and00:15:52
what was in it, like some kind of00:15:55
educational construction set for babies. A homemade00:15:58
madam who killed her00:16:01
own child. it seems like it was00:16:03
a girl, although I don’t remember anymore, and at the same time00:16:06
ruined the life of the unfortunate man, they drove me. By the time00:16:09
the ambulance arrived, a crowd had already gathered around the fool,00:16:12
I noticed in that crowd and00:16:15
my father,00:16:16
pushed by curiosity, tried00:16:18
to poke closer to the place of the drama that was playing out,00:16:21
and in a host of excited voices I00:16:24
heard my father’s familiar voice. roar Yes,00:16:27
shut up already Idiot And someone must00:16:30
be Aunt Galya, the portly young woman from00:16:33
the grocery store answered What if someone your00:16:36
wife was weak-willed, then the adults00:16:40
noticed me, they pushed me out of the crowd00:16:42
And what happened next I don’t know, but for00:16:45
some reason in my memory this00:16:48
little scene is imprinted, noisy people, an00:16:50
angry father, a warring beluga, a00:16:53
young mother and a rhetorical question00:16:56
about my wife, that is, about my mother, I think about this00:17:00
and I need to start the report with the question: What00:17:03
if something that once sunk into a child’s soul00:17:07
took root in a young mind so that00:17:09
later it grows with events and00:17:12
the conclusions blossom with the same idea00:17:16
played with Vanka in the garage at school winter00:17:20
holidays there’s no escape from my son Yes,00:17:22
again, children his age are00:17:24
interested in everything, show and tell everything to the00:17:27
little one, he’s still just a boy, he wo00:17:30
n’t take up much space But when I tickled him00:17:33
on the tummy as a joke squealed loudly on the street00:17:36
heard it will be necessary to stuff old00:17:38
pillowcases with some unnecessary rags00:17:41
and line the gates properly to00:17:43
dampen the sound, of course it’s difficult to fight the00:17:46
temptation to exclude Vanyusha from the00:17:49
experiment and make do with Lenka alone I remember00:17:52
him as a tiny bundle with a squeaky weight00:17:56
of three and a half kilos of agushka, otherwise00:18:00
ran to the doctors How can I do it? It’s00:18:05
funny, re-reading the previous entries,00:18:09
I noticed that when I’m worried, I’m worried,00:18:11
especially if it’s about my son, I start00:18:14
writing incomprehensibly, confusedly, I make00:18:16
mistakes, as if I hadn’t written, I speak00:18:19
stuttering, muttering something, apparently I’m nervous,00:18:22
good. Is it bad that I’m not nervous myself?00:18:26
I know, but the effect is curious:00:18:30
about a year or maybe a whole life after00:18:33
that tragedy in childhood, time flows00:18:36
slowly in a physical education lesson, I00:18:38
unsuccessfully fell from the ropes and severely bruised my00:18:41
tailbone, the pain was terrible to the point of tears, until I00:18:44
lost control of myself, I rolled on the00:18:46
floor as if in a fit and it said so that00:18:48
probably opera singers would be jealous00:18:51
if they heard this Aria of a dying00:18:53
cat in those seconds that seemed like an eternity, the00:18:56
whole world for me shrank to the size of a00:18:59
thin red-hot00:19:01
metal knitting needle that dug its entire00:19:04
length into my back just below the lower back and00:19:06
a little above my butt when00:19:09
After a few minutes, the pain00:19:11
subsided a little, I no longer had the strength to00:19:14
scream, not to cry, I could even breathe with difficulty.00:19:17
But deep down in my soul, at that moment I was00:19:20
happy as never before or since,00:19:22
happy from the fact that even though I was in terribly00:19:25
pain, but not so much anymore it’s unbearably painful00:19:28
like before00:19:30
now, then I didn’t go to school at all, I00:19:32
lay down at home, listened to Tsoi or this on00:19:35
my father’s cassette player, I read Jules the Faithful00:19:38
stories from Around the World, my father more and more often00:19:41
returned from his shift in the dark, drunk, they00:19:44
argued for a long time with their mother, she broke the dishes,00:19:47
screamed Hordes rushing from - the walls00:19:49
echoed in my tailbone and00:19:51
rolled up the ridge with a dull,00:19:53
aching pain, I enjoyed it, plunged00:19:57
into it, lost myself in it while my00:20:00
parents were not at home in the song of the coffin and the00:20:03
adventures of Captain Grant's children, the pain00:20:07
was drowned out by the sounds coming from the truth but00:20:11
could not kill the thoughts in in my head there is a00:20:13
desire for mother and father to separate as quickly as possible00:20:16
so as not to hear her00:20:19
disgusting pig squeal so similar to the Howl of00:20:21
that negligent mother who00:20:25
crushed the mazam. Probably then, on those00:20:28
long dark nights, ideas had already begun00:20:31
to form in me; the grain was thrown00:20:34
and sprang up00:20:37
shortly before the holidays; killed in the garage there is a00:20:40
dog in the form of experience in terms of00:20:43
preparation for the real experiment,00:20:45
of course, write Hot on the heels,00:20:49
I didn’t have the opportunity after all, New Year00:20:51
Lenka and Malaya spend too much time00:20:53
at home now, a week later,00:20:56
the impression is already pretty dulled, but00:20:58
however, it is possible that this is for the best00:21:04
It makes sense to analyze some preliminary results with a cool00:21:06
head, distancing yourself as much as possible from any00:21:09
emotional background. I used00:21:12
a hammer and a hatchet to chop the meat. I00:21:15
picked up the puppy itself on the street in the evening and put the00:21:18
tools and a change of clothes in advance00:21:20
in the garage in a secluded place next to the00:21:22
workbench. The experience was unpleasant, but00:21:26
it gave me a lot of useful results. food for thought00:21:28
first even the weak and sick00:21:32
fight fiercely for life resist to00:21:35
the last longer than can be observed in the00:21:38
end the firebrand of the unfortunate creature00:21:40
turned into just chomping minced meat into a00:21:43
porridge of blood, meat and bones and the puppy was00:21:46
still gulping with his throat and knocking his legs 200:21:50
dirt a lot a lot If such00:21:53
a Kid has smeared me from head to toe,00:21:55
then I need to think when and if the00:21:59
blood reaches people there will be much more00:22:01
3 The hardest thing, as expected, is00:22:04
to fight not with the victim, but with yourself with00:22:08
your feelings with pity and compassion, the00:22:11
conclusions of the wards need to first00:22:14
immobilize this the main00:22:17
correction is the main conclusion, I’m moving in the right00:22:21
direction if we discard a number of00:22:24
difficulties that have emerged, which of course were00:22:26
very distracting, but still had a00:22:29
rather technical working nature00:22:30
contrasts emotions Promises to be00:22:33
enchanting no I’m seriously ready00:22:37
to go for it And my parents divorced when00:22:41
I finished school my mother found00:22:43
suitors old acquaintances, long-time00:22:46
admirer, father, however, also00:22:48
did not grieve for long, got in touch with Galina from the grocery store00:22:51
a couple of years ago, Lenka and I00:22:53
visited them. My wife insisted, I would00:22:57
n’t put my nose in the old house. I guess I00:22:59
just didn’t want to see what kind of [ __ ] the00:23:01
man who is our grandfather Vanyushka K has turned into. To00:23:04
my surprise, everything00:23:08
turned out to be fine with him and Galina.00:23:09
They work. I can’t vouch for where they worked, but it00:23:13
seemed to me that my father drinks more often, but00:23:16
less.00:23:17
Aunt Galya keeps me company. By the00:23:20
time my parents divorced, I had already entered the00:23:22
Physics and Mathematics Department and lived separately in the Student00:23:25
Dorm. In my second year, I experienced my first00:23:28
youth naturally unsuccessful love, to be00:23:30
surprised, the ex happened to whom she00:23:34
returned And I became the third wheel It’s a00:23:35
common thing, thank God I found out about the00:23:39
betrayal even before my father’s groom got ready,00:23:41
otherwise it could have turned out like a curious coincidence between my father and00:23:44
mother, that my00:23:47
passion was called Sveta, like my mother they00:23:51
were both blondes I wonder what was the name of that00:23:55
fair-haired lady who sent00:23:57
her child for a walk among the masses, if00:24:00
I heard anything about it I don’t remember what’s important is00:24:03
another parting with Sveta. Of course I was00:24:06
very worried, but what doesn’t kill me00:24:08
changes thanks, among other things, to her00:24:11
betrayal, I eventually I learned to00:24:13
appreciate in people those qualities that I had00:24:16
never paid attention to before: honesty,00:24:18
straightforwardness, predictability, a00:24:21
miniature girl from a parallel00:24:23
course with short-cropped jet-black00:24:26
hair and small, slightly00:24:28
slanted eyes, Svetka’s friend, who00:24:31
told me everything about her00:24:33
and her former future, she was with me00:24:36
sincerely because that she liked me, she00:24:41
was not at all like My first00:24:42
unhappy love, she was predictable00:24:45
and in the end it was with her that we predictably00:24:48
got married, I’m still00:24:51
happy with her, pleasure, real00:24:54
pleasure can only be comprehended by00:24:56
first experiencing something exactly00:24:58
the opposite, as you know everything00:25:01
is known by comparison, let's consider this00:25:03
idea as the initial one and start from it,00:25:07
a month has passed And I keep thinking about that00:25:10
little dog, I remember how I buried the00:25:13
remains in the snow behind the garages, I'm afraid when it00:25:15
gets warmer, and if the forecasts don't lie, then00:25:18
this will happen soon, someone will00:25:21
find an extra corpse risk and perhaps a reason to00:25:24
hurry up Although I have such a hard time00:25:27
restraining myself I’m trying to carefully00:25:29
prepare everything for the second attempt, it won’t be00:25:32
better to follow the plan, it’s better to dig up What’s00:25:35
left of the puppy and move it somewhere00:25:37
far away Yes, even to a landfill in that vacant00:25:41
lot next to work No, this all00:25:45
the excuses fear of the inevitable00:25:47
delay of time is easier to leave as00:25:50
is and let nature itself lead the00:25:53
countdown or00:25:55
or an00:25:57
interesting thought about that mongrel I00:26:00
associate with thoughts of a different kind with00:26:03
torment about my own00:26:05
mental health in the accounting department there00:26:08
was once a conversation about the criminal00:26:10
Russia of an NTV channel program in one of00:26:13
the issues they talked about serial killers,00:26:15
doctors say that maniacs00:26:18
usually start with animals like me, does this mean that00:26:22
I am just as00:26:23
stupid to deny the presence of Mania Although the00:26:26
very term bothers me Yes, I am obsessed with a00:26:30
certain cruel idea, it must be admitted,00:26:32
and I am looking for pleasure for the sake of00:26:36
to kill this But but00:26:40
exclamation marks I’m not a serial00:26:43
killer I’m not a sadist or a sociopath I’m one of those00:26:47
who loves to do good who will take a00:26:49
grandmother across the road I’m capable of00:26:52
compassion I’m humane I’m just a00:26:55
scientific mind, this is what teachers at the university00:26:58
noticed I’m a researcher in the end00:27:01
I’m I was crying, I’m killing that little dog, otherwise all of00:27:04
this wouldn’t make any sense00:27:08
Lenka complains, I’m stuck in garages all the time,00:27:11
I forgot my family, I forgot when was the00:27:14
last time we made love with her, I00:27:16
need to [ __ ] her to calm down.00:27:18
So let’s write down a reminder, first,00:27:22
to satisfy the missus, second, to take her to00:27:25
work with warehouse chloroform to clarify00:27:28
the dosage so as not to overdo it00:27:32
all night I couldn’t close my eyes after00:27:35
sex with Lena no, that’s not the right word,00:27:38
sex sounds too businesslike, it sounds casual,00:27:42
intimate intimacy is better suited to the wife,00:27:45
then she slept quietly next to her, like a dead woman, and00:27:49
again I cried at the same time, I was afraid and00:27:53
I wanted to wake her up, I wanted to make sure that00:27:57
she was still Breathe in00:28:01
the morning, not without difficulty, I drove away the night fears,00:28:04
I smoked half a pack of no less00:28:06
before I calmed down, now I can00:28:09
think clearly again and write without childish00:28:11
mistakes, cleanliness is important, the00:28:14
purity of the experiment is most important, good,00:28:17
in fact, just wonderful that I00:28:20
am experiencing the main thing is00:28:22
to step over these experiences at the right moment, not to00:28:24
discard them as unnecessary, they are needed,00:28:26
they are extremely necessary, and to overcome00:28:29
the pleasure should only intensify from the00:28:32
excitement of the subject, that is, myself,00:28:34
therefore, before hour X, I will have to00:28:37
[ __ ] her after [ __ ], I am becoming00:28:40
sentimental and the feeling will be I was00:28:44
reviewing my last notes more acutely;00:28:47
a thought crept in; if I am able to00:28:51
perceive my wife’s fate so sensitively, then00:28:54
maybe the experiment can be done without00:28:56
Vanka; I managed to convince myself that it was a00:28:59
fleeting weakness; I’m still tormented;00:29:02
will I be able to overcome it at the right time at the right moment?00:29:11
that perhaps00:29:13
subconsciously I wish death for Lenka, that00:29:17
is, some part of me may blame her00:29:19
for the fact that one way or another caused me00:29:22
pain when she betrayed Svetka for cheating, not00:29:25
only for this reason, but also for this reason, also trying to00:29:29
exclude her son from the equation, he is00:29:32
not to blame for anything When you see your00:29:34
weaknesses, it’s easier to fight them. A00:29:36
reminder to look for meat hooks in a landfill.00:29:40
This evening and the night after it were00:29:43
spent busy with business. I’m terribly tired, but00:29:47
now the garage is fully prepared. The other day00:29:50
my wife stopped by and asked00:29:51
what the hell I’ve been spending here for days.00:29:54
If only you knew the answer. to your question, but00:29:58
it’s great that she’s interested, it00:30:01
will be easier to lure in. After all, if you have to drag00:30:04
the body, even at night,00:30:06
someone might still meet Vanyusha with the00:30:09
boy, it will be easier, followed by a00:30:12
sweeping inscription for the00:30:15
rest of the page, it’s decided next time00:30:19
I’ll do it, I need to do it the00:30:21
remaining sheets of paper are covered with uneven,00:30:24
jumping handwriting that retains However, despite00:30:26
all the differences, there is a noticeable similarity with the00:30:29
previous text. There is no doubt00:30:31
that all parts were written with one hand, but00:30:34
most likely the last part00:30:36
was written down in a hurry, and Judging by00:30:39
how many defects there are on the copies of these00:30:41
pages, it is also of little use for surface letters00:30:46
This is terrible These are monsters this is pointless00:30:52
working tied up tightly While the chloroform was00:30:55
still working gagged her mouth hung00:30:59
on a hook it was hard after all she has gained quite a bit of weight00:31:01
over the last couple of years00:31:03
Pushka became real when she came to00:31:06
her senses he tore out her nail with pliers everything is00:31:09
fine everything is going fine a muffled groan00:31:12
even inside, outside, you can’t hear it at all, just in00:31:15
case, once again I forced you to breathe00:31:17
chemicals so that she lost consciousness again,00:31:20
her face is wet from tears, it’s a pity I’ll go and bring00:31:24
the boy.00:31:26
My son is at home with a friend from school, he asked00:31:29
if mom had returned from work, I had to00:31:30
lie, I’m worried,00:31:35
I thought well about the option with increasing00:31:39
about a school friend The temptation is great,00:31:42
but his relatives will be worried, I00:31:44
had to refuse to look, but this is also00:31:46
correct, the purity of the experiment, follow the00:31:50
plan.00:31:52
Lord, what am I doing? There is no way back;00:31:56
however, there is no God either; something is00:32:05
howling into itself00:32:08
through the gag, the hardest thing is ahead I00:32:12
will have to remove the gags but I can’t00:32:14
decide yet I’m preparing the tools I’m afraid to00:32:17
look at them so as not to take a breather I’m00:32:20
moving further on the street it’s00:32:24
dark even if I poke my eyes out of this And let’s start00:32:29
Len screams and cries swears begs not to00:32:33
do it it's too late, dear,00:32:36
I used an awl on the boy, the00:32:39
eye was terrible, the boy Vanyusha lost00:32:45
consciousness, it seems00:32:47
maybe it's better for him no, you have to00:32:51
wait, no, you can't wait, you can00:32:55
use ammonia like that, and then00:32:59
you made cuts with a razor, you couldn't stand it, you couldn't stand it, you couldn't stand00:33:04
it, you dropped it, you threw it on the00:33:10
floor yourself fell roaring, huddled in a corner, her00:33:14
screams are driving me crazy No other00:33:17
Of course other my little son God00:33:23
fight with yourself the hardest thing you00:33:26
knew you knew us there is no way back There is no way back There is no way back There is no way back There is no way back There is no way back There is no way back00:33:39
endless progression00:33:41
endure hard painfully scary Do you think there00:33:45
is still a chance to quit what you started again00:33:48
took up the razor again quit I can’t I00:33:53
can’t I won’t You can try00:33:57
to imagine that I’m a Yamas truck and she’s00:34:02
Lenka not Lenka is a fool With a stroller I’ll00:34:05
crush the00:34:06
dick you’re screaming all the time [ __ ]00:34:09
shut up your mother Shut up, mother Shut00:34:12
up, shut up, shut up,00:34:15
gathered my strength, gathered my strength, perhaps if00:34:19
I abstracted myself, tore off his skin, a00:34:22
flap from his back, shut up, the whole00:34:26
wife turns out to be leaving somewhere, closed her00:34:29
eyes, no longer crying, not screaming, just00:34:31
whines so thinly, thinly, I don’t know what’s00:34:35
worse, I’ll bring her to her senses00:34:38
cut off a nipple picked a picker picked at the wound with a00:34:43
screwdriver there was a lot of very much very00:34:47
disgusting blood all over it the boy wet his00:34:50
wife vomited horribly everything was horribly need to go00:34:54
clean up wash no purity of00:34:58
the experiment continuity00:35:01
God if you exist Stop me don’t00:35:06
let me do this00:35:09
ended with nails returned to the child00:35:12
what’s next teeth next her teeth will go she00:35:16
howls now she howls I realized this is one00:35:19
terrible, endlessly monotonous sound00:35:22
Vanyusha has calmed down, it’s a pity you see the light, otherwise00:35:27
you’ve done it, the00:35:29
creature will freeze, cut off its tongue, still00:35:33
howls hee-hee, chokes on blood and00:35:36
howls, he gutted it all the same, he’s00:35:42
still dead00:35:44
because he slipped and fell, hit00:35:46
his head, but didn’t lose consciousness, lay thinking00:35:49
about her ears, got up, cut off nothing, yell at00:35:55
me with her ears, mom,00:35:58
Lord, Kill me, I00:36:02
ask you to trust in you alone, and Kill me, you who00:36:07
are reading,00:36:08
Remember,00:36:10
an idea may come to you, you understand,00:36:16
she screams again and again and again and again00:36:20
and again and again and again00:36:22
they all scream how many of them there are, the00:36:27
silence is over I was right No you00:36:33
cannot be a greater pleasure nothing00:36:37
compares to the power of emotions00:36:39
overwhelming my being00:36:42
blessed sent down from above00:36:44
Crystal all00:36:48
eternal Paradise Blessed00:36:50
unique kind desired silence00:36:53
glorified00:36:56
on this is where the notes ended with00:36:59
my friend, from that day on I began to see him less often,00:37:01
although as mine had agreed, I never00:37:04
told him anything about what I read,00:37:06
as if a deserted strip lay between00:37:09
us, deserted, but so huge that it00:37:12
was beyond my strength to overcome it. And I also00:37:16
walked for a long time like a savant without reacting.00:37:18
to greet old acquaintances on the street00:37:21
One day, when leaving the house, I forgot to lock00:37:23
the door behind me; fortunately, the apartment remained00:37:26
untouched; in this sense, I was lucky.00:37:29
My friend and I, as I already00:37:31
mentioned, diverged, everyone lives their own00:37:34
lives, they exist at their own level. I am00:37:37
at my bottom and if to think it’s00:37:41
not so bad for me, after all,00:37:44
unsociability has always been characteristic of me00:37:46
And so fed up my grandfather I write articles for00:37:49
websites and built materials on expensive00:37:52
medicines politics I try my hand at00:37:55
science fiction it seems like you’ll be00:37:58
successful someday I’ll finish the novel only00:38:01
now I’m decidedly not I can stand the silence when I00:38:04
am alone, which I have always00:38:06
been accustomed to, I turn on the radio louder00:38:09
or the TV or tape recorder, so00:38:12
I write slowly, very slowly, the noise00:38:15
distracts me from my work, interferes with my00:38:18
concentration, but the00:38:21
Blessed Silence is too00:38:25
scary for meDescription:
👀 аннотация: "Лихие 90-е". На месте кровавого двойного убийства обнаружен дневник маньяка. Погружаясь в его чтение, писатель-детективщик спускается на дно бездны... ✍ автор(ы): Парфенов М. С. - https://vk.com/parfenov_ms 🎤 озвучка: Илья Дементьев (официальная) 📓 книга: "Зона ужаса" эту книгу можно купить в разных форматах: твердая обложка - https://book24.ru/product/zona-uzhasa-6591122/?partnerId=1289741 аудиокнига - https://www.litres.ru/audiobook/mihail-parfenov-2/zona-uzhasa-68250251/ цифровая книга - https://www.litres.ru/book/mihail-parfenov-2/zona-uzhasa-23857309/ Нравятся автор или диктор? Найдите соответствующий плейлист здесь: https://www.youtube.com/c/CCKstories/playlists Не забывайте про 👍, репосты, комментарии. И, конечно, подписывайтесь на канал ССК, чтобы не пропустить новье 🔔 аудикнига, страшная история, история на ночь, рассказ, ужасы, мистика, триллер, аудиокниги, хоррор, крипипаста, страшные истории, истории на ночь, рассказы ужасов, ужастик, страшилки, жуткие истории, страшные видео, аудио, литература, фильм ужасов, кошмар, жесть, кровь, насилие, кровища, маньяки, монстры, лавкрафт, кинг, русский хоррор, шок, жуть, книги ужасов, страшные книги, читать, слушать, смотреть, онлайн, бесплатно, интересные истории, невероятные истории, правдивые истории, безумие, психи, заброшки, людоеды, смерть, готика, красивые истории, лучшие истории, самое страшное, деревни, ведьмы, паранормальное, привидения, призраки, легенды, страшные сказки, грустные истории, убийцы, убийства, жертвоприношения, оккультизм, секты, монстры, чудовища, книжный блог, подкаст
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