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Download "Stand Up: Гурам Амарян - так сказал врач @standup_tnt"

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Video tags

стендап
stand up
stand up тнт
телеканал тнт
stand up new
новый сезон стендап
новый стендап
стендап 2023
тнт
тнт онлайн
юмор
stand up 2023
stand up тнт лучшее
stand up тнт 2023
stand up тнт новое
стендап 2022
stand up comedy
гурам амарян
гурам амарян про врача
армянский язык
квартира в москве
гелик
гурам амарян новое
гурам амарян стендап
гурам по морям
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Subtitles

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  • ruRussian
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00:00:02
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order convenient soft nozzle intensively
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moisturizes nourishes and maintains the health of the
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scalp Nizoral for the treatment of dandruff
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and tonic nezake for scalp care
00:00:16
[music]
00:00:19
Guram amaran on stage
00:00:21
[ applause]
00:00:23
[music]
00:00:27
people good evening Hello
00:00:29
[applause]
00:00:35
I was born and raised in Tbilisi you know
00:00:39
[applause]
00:00:44
I never knew the Georgian language I
00:00:47
studied two classes, it’s a very beautiful language,
00:00:49
it’s a pity I really don’t know it, but I
00:00:52
studied Georgian
00:00:54
if you don’t know
00:01:11
I so crazy, think about it, you learn the Russian
00:01:13
alphabet and there k l m n about [ __ ] you're like
00:01:18
that, you've got me crazy, you know
00:01:21
what we have in general Yes, we wo
00:01:23
n't pronounce it among the Khachis, here we
00:01:28
have our own slang and you can imagine
00:01:31
we even have abbreviations that you
00:01:33
don’t know, they are very popular with us,
00:01:35
for example, clap, who knows
00:01:37
what PZR is?
00:01:39
Well, it’s always only Khachi
00:01:42
girls who love them, only they
00:01:43
clap, that’s what
00:01:44
we call all henpecked people, if
00:01:47
you don’t know, I’ll decipher it for you, and
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it’s very decipherable It’s just b It’s a
00:01:51
woman’s
00:01:54
woman’s
00:01:57
eclipse of the mind
00:01:59
and honestly what amazes me most about this is
00:02:01
that for the first time in history the Khachas
00:02:04
used the word eclipsed and the word
00:02:07
eclipsed. Have you ever said this at least once in your life?
00:02:18
write like this write the sun blocked
00:02:20
write I don’t know write tinted after
00:02:23
all scientific work is behind the head Where did
00:02:26
these words come from in our jargon eclipsed Don’t
00:02:29
blame me
00:02:30
He says it turns out don’t blame me my
00:02:33
kids don’t even know how to spell it don’t
00:02:35
blame me that’s how they write to me Well,
00:02:38
I won’t blame you if this is
00:02:39
some kind of problem And I also have a lot of this,
00:02:42
you know, Caucasian like this sits inside
00:02:44
It is stronger than me, for example, see here is an
00:02:46
example I bought my parents an apartment in
00:02:48
Moscow and the first You see, I am the first thing that is
00:02:52
Caucasian in me I always tell everyone about this
00:02:57
and secondly this is what I care about most Well,
00:03:00
this is the strongest Caucasian in
00:03:03
Moscow if you buy an apartment I managed to get
00:03:04
it cheap, it becomes very expensive at
00:03:07
some point they tell me it costs 18
00:03:09
million rubles now and this is what I don’t want to
00:03:11
tell you I’m sitting like this What is there
00:03:16
I’ll sell it now for another 5 lyams credit, well,
00:03:20
what kind of Gelik will I take?
00:03:24
It’s normal.
00:03:25
I’m sitting in all seriousness and reasoning like this. One of the
00:03:29
advantages I have is Gelik. The downside is that my
00:03:32
parents live in it, but in general, it’s big from Bryusov,
00:03:36
they don’t interfere, almost like
00:03:38
this. okay, let's talk about something
00:03:40
serious, guys. Let's just be honest,
00:03:41
they prescribed suppositories for someone's ass,
00:03:45
no one, not even one, but I did
00:03:49
n't either. Imagine how cool it was.
00:03:52
Yes, in general. Well, let's imagine if they
00:03:56
prescribed it for me. So that I can tell you,
00:03:58
of course, what -they’ll be sitting Okay,
00:04:01
look, they haven’t prescribed it. If you, of
00:04:05
course, didn’t know, I’ll tell you what it
00:04:08
is, there’s a doctor, it’s very important. He
00:04:10
says it’s very important. Yes, you
00:04:12
know. He says it’s important,
00:04:35
so it’s necessary. It’s
00:04:37
inconvenient to tell it.
00:04:39
if you will It’s terrible
00:04:41
I’m lying on my side
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like this And I’m honest I’ve never
00:04:48
had anything there in my life No guests have
00:04:51
ever I’m lying there and I’m like, well The doctor said
00:04:55
straight, well, it’s necessary to be straight And I don’t know these
00:04:59
sensations as I’m lying there, but there or not
00:05:01
there you
00:05:02
need to check this
00:05:05
[music]
00:05:07
and I check
00:05:10
and everything is fine, she’s there
00:05:12
I’m lying there like this And if I just stuck my finger up my ass
00:05:15
now it was on another day it was a
00:05:19
joke It’s a joke Okay I don’t know
00:05:22
what’s even shorter if there’s no such thing Yes so
00:05:25
that on the fifth the day is already easier guys,
00:05:26
well, you’re already doing something with a kick on the
00:05:28
seventh so soon home So no, and
00:05:31
on the tenth I took it without hands No, well, like,
00:05:32
this is terrible Yes, it’s better not to let it come to that
00:05:35
Okay, in fact, it’s very difficult
00:05:37
to perform If you don’t understand What
00:05:40
time is it so hard to perform now everyone
00:05:42
is offended on the minibus everyone is offended on the
00:05:44
minibus the couriers are offended at me I
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worked half my life as a courier once
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joked they were offended call me I swear they
00:05:51
called We will find you, we will kill you just like that
00:05:54
thank God these are couriers They couldn’t
00:05:57
find me you understand They they just
00:06:01
couldn’t find me They called like we are
00:06:05
their 10 barrier you [ __ ] you where I say
00:06:09
I’m standing at the end of the building Find please
00:06:11
there are those for you very strange I want I
00:06:14
want to formulate with you
00:06:16
this is important to understand I’ll start
00:06:19
telling it look you when- Have you ever
00:06:21
imagined a world where every
00:06:23
person has only one sexual partner in their
00:06:26
entire life? Think about one Well, there’s really no one
00:06:28
before or after. It’s ideal and when
00:06:30
a woman said that, horror and her husband sat next to her.
00:06:34
Well, in short, can
00:06:36
you imagine such a world? Come
00:06:38
first, what a unique sex it was in
00:06:41
every couple you thought about it no matter how we don’t
00:06:43
know how others do this
00:06:44
Well, maybe the navel Well we don’t know look
00:06:47
now that’s what I thought now
00:06:48
when we’re all in some kind of chaotic
00:06:50
order and we’re all sleeping with each other in
00:06:52
fact we’re passing each other on knowledge to a friend and they I will
00:06:55
explain everything,
00:06:57
listen to the end you understand Well, that’s your
00:06:59
name bro What’s your name Evgeniy you
00:07:02
understand that maybe you taught me something about
00:07:03
sex we don’t wait don’t and don’t
00:07:07
[ __ ] my wife I see it for the first time I’ll explain
00:07:08
look Evgeniy Maybe you have sometime
00:07:10
in your life Well done girl, maybe
00:07:14
I just looked Well, in short, maybe this is
00:07:16
Yes, you had girls there, everything
00:07:19
goes to this here at some point, I
00:07:21
say like this is the pose and she’s like
00:07:22
Wow, how cool Well, I got separated
00:07:25
new man at some point she
00:07:27
says Look what a pose and he’s like Wow
00:07:29
think this man comes home to his
00:07:31
wife says
00:07:32
Look what a pose Well what a man
00:07:35
look she’s like Wow and then his wife
00:07:37
told me Let’s just chat she’s like that’s how it
00:07:42
turns out me Evgeniy taught you
00:07:45
understand really I’m saying when I
00:07:47
understood this look first of all guys for your sake
00:07:49
For you I have an answer to the main
00:07:52
question of our life what are milfs for
00:07:55
everyone Wanted to know don’t pretend to be what they are for
00:07:58
Minsk It’s very simple they have a
00:08:00
special mission
00:08:04
They convey we know the knowledge of fathers, you
00:08:06
understand No, really, they sound
00:08:09
fabulous, milfs like elves, they sound, no, it’s like something
00:08:11
like this should be on the wings,
00:08:13
you can finger your ass I’m like, You can’t have a
00:08:14
candle there, it flies away You understand, somehow,
00:08:17
well, this is all the most important thing, the
00:08:20
most important thing I came for, well and finally a
00:08:22
dream and a goal in life appeared when I
00:08:24
realized that we are
00:08:25
passing on and teaching to each other like this, dreams of a goal in life, I
00:08:27
want to launch my pose into the world
00:08:30
so that girls tell their men
00:08:32
Let's have sex in Guram style You see, by
00:08:34
the way, I have a pose there is a demo version,
00:08:37
I’m demonstrating it to you right now,
00:08:39
look, it means I can Ramsky Well, you
00:08:42
don’t have to clap, you just have to watch One on
00:08:45
one, like a dog’s Yes, the only
00:08:47
difference is She’s holding
00:08:49
you tightly by the hair on your legs all this time, like this,
00:08:50
definitely try it, it’s a great pose
00:08:53
in general, listen to us you know, yes, in our
00:08:56
families,
00:08:57
again,
00:08:59
I raised my children strictly, you know the girls, and
00:09:01
so on, yes, like we have a girl before
00:09:03
the wedding, we can’t, we
00:09:04
came up with
00:09:05
these, then we can do it before the wedding, and
00:09:08
after the wedding, if you don’t get burned,
00:09:09
you can also do it like this Well, or an awesome scheme, eh
00:09:11
this is sexism girls yes Let's talk to you
00:09:14
this is sexism yes Well let's
00:09:15
then, for the sake of fairness you
00:09:18
also don't need a virgin
00:09:19
right Well just think about it You got married and
00:09:22
you're his first you yourself then go
00:09:24
and train Well what is this Well Well,
00:09:27
honestly, it’s only worse when both are for the first time,
00:09:28
when two drivers just
00:09:30
can’t pass each other, they honk at each other, I
00:09:31
just don’t know girls, I’m
00:09:34
so strongly on your side in this regard, I’m so
00:09:35
sorry because we’re men, we
00:09:37
use terrible words about a woman’s
00:09:39
virginity, terrible deprived, lost in I
00:09:43
was riding on the bus like this, you understand this is
00:09:45
terrible, it means that you tore this.
00:09:49
This is a crime, no, he
00:09:52
knocked him down, he says, think about the hymen, he knocked him down,
00:09:55
tomorrow the court should sound like this, no, he
00:09:58
tore him, in return for this, nature gave
00:10:01
some guys small penises,
00:10:02
rightly, they can’t even say,
00:10:04
tore it, pulled it a little - almost
00:10:07
flew off the trampoline, it didn’t work out, this is
00:10:08
justice Yes, and really, no matter how
00:10:11
fair it is, a man can’t understand a
00:10:12
virgin who is not a virgin. It’s physically
00:10:14
impossible, there’s no such thing as a
00:10:15
torn member. No, just by looking
00:10:17
at the girl. Unfortunately, you can understand it
00:10:19
physically. Yes, this is when she’s like
00:10:21
that during sex. [ __ ] me and so well, this is an
00:10:23
experienced woman this is not the first time
00:10:24
girls need to talk about this
00:10:25
please Stop doing this
00:10:28
during sex this is what it’s like during sex
00:10:29
she’s so scary to me and what am I
00:10:31
doing for 10 minutes What am I doing It’s like in
00:10:35
childhood when you eat and your mother is like that eat yes
00:10:37
I eat I can’t eat while I’m eating
00:10:41
[ __ ] me what is this This should be
00:10:44
said in a restaurant when we’re sitting still
00:10:45
dressed [ __ ] me that’s good Let’s go this is how it
00:10:47
should be I don’t like this
00:10:49
[ __ ] me I love it when this No no
00:10:51
no
00:10:53
Who are you okay this is a joke okay and this is the
00:10:56
girls important point faster it should
00:10:58
go faster who am I competing with what kind of
00:11:02
race is faster Yes I'm scared what kind of
00:11:06
speed I want like this how to stay in the car like this we'll
00:11:08
drive like this we'll crash
00:11:11
what is it when you want condoms already
00:11:13
pull it on your balls so they don’t break
00:11:15
What’s that faster in the oncoming traffic
00:11:19
[ __ ] me faster than everyone who [ __ ] me
00:11:22
what is this
00:11:23
Stop doing this, we’re scared
00:11:27
And the last thing I don’t even want
00:11:29
to look at your eyes when I’m talking
00:11:32
Since I advise you don’t give out girls
00:11:38
after a [ __ ] kiss climb
00:11:40
look
00:11:41
someone should have said this Well, guys,
00:11:43
you understand yes yes you can clap for this one
00:11:47
hundred percent When you already
00:11:48
kiss like a relative like that yes of course
00:11:50
Of course
00:11:51
they won’t kiss you on the forehead Thank you very much
00:11:54
people Thank you bye bye
00:11:56
[applause]
00:11:59
[music]
00:12:01
smooth place
00:12:06
in places not so remote, I
00:12:10
understood everything, realized everything, go back to your
00:12:13
place of residence
00:12:15
and find that everything is there in one
00:12:18
place,
00:12:20
first explain why this strawberry is
00:12:22
without rubbing
00:12:23
Irina Rozanova Tatyana Kravchenko Nikolay
00:12:27
Fomenko Anastasia Samburskaya
00:12:29
shirt
00:12:35
and its weak points
00:12:41
[music]
00:12:48
[music]
00:12:58
[music]

Description:

Гурам Амарян про необычные выражения, покупку гелика вместо квартиры и идеальный мир НизоCare® тоник для ежедневного ухода за раздраженной кожей головы https://nizoral.ru/nizocare-tonic/ Смотри НОВЫЙ СЕЗОН шоу #StandUp по пятницам в 23:00 на #ТНТ StandUp в соц. сетях: ВКонтакте: https://vk.com/brandnewshow Телеграм: https://t.me/stndptnt ТЕЛЕКАНАЛ ТНТ в соцсетях: Rutube: https://rutube.ru/u/tnt/ ВКонтакте: https://vk.com/tnt Телеграм: https://t.me/TNT_television Одноклассники: https://ok.ru/tnt Производство: Comedy Club Production

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