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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:02
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order convenient soft nozzle intensively00:00:08
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and tonic nezake for scalp care00:00:16
[music]00:00:19
Guram amaran on stage00:00:21
[ applause]00:00:23
[music]00:00:27
people good evening Hello00:00:29
[applause]00:00:35
I was born and raised in Tbilisi you know00:00:39
[applause]00:00:44
I never knew the Georgian language I00:00:47
studied two classes, it’s a very beautiful language,00:00:49
it’s a pity I really don’t know it, but I00:00:52
studied Georgian00:00:54
if you don’t know00:01:11
I so crazy, think about it, you learn the Russian00:01:13
alphabet and there k l m n about [ __ ] you're like00:01:18
that, you've got me crazy, you know00:01:21
what we have in general Yes, we wo00:01:23
n't pronounce it among the Khachis, here we00:01:28
have our own slang and you can imagine00:01:31
we even have abbreviations that you00:01:33
don’t know, they are very popular with us,00:01:35
for example, clap, who knows00:01:37
what PZR is?00:01:39
Well, it’s always only Khachi00:01:42
girls who love them, only they00:01:43
clap, that’s what00:01:44
we call all henpecked people, if00:01:47
you don’t know, I’ll decipher it for you, and00:01:48
it’s very decipherable It’s just b It’s a00:01:51
woman’s00:01:54
woman’s00:01:57
eclipse of the mind00:01:59
and honestly what amazes me most about this is00:02:01
that for the first time in history the Khachas00:02:04
used the word eclipsed and the word00:02:07
eclipsed. Have you ever said this at least once in your life?00:02:18
write like this write the sun blocked00:02:20
write I don’t know write tinted after00:02:23
all scientific work is behind the head Where did00:02:26
these words come from in our jargon eclipsed Don’t00:02:29
blame me00:02:30
He says it turns out don’t blame me my00:02:33
kids don’t even know how to spell it don’t00:02:35
blame me that’s how they write to me Well,00:02:38
I won’t blame you if this is00:02:39
some kind of problem And I also have a lot of this,00:02:42
you know, Caucasian like this sits inside00:02:44
It is stronger than me, for example, see here is an00:02:46
example I bought my parents an apartment in00:02:48
Moscow and the first You see, I am the first thing that is00:02:52
Caucasian in me I always tell everyone about this00:02:57
and secondly this is what I care about most Well,00:03:00
this is the strongest Caucasian in00:03:03
Moscow if you buy an apartment I managed to get00:03:04
it cheap, it becomes very expensive at00:03:07
some point they tell me it costs 1800:03:09
million rubles now and this is what I don’t want to00:03:11
tell you I’m sitting like this What is there00:03:16
I’ll sell it now for another 5 lyams credit, well,00:03:20
what kind of Gelik will I take?00:03:24
It’s normal.00:03:25
I’m sitting in all seriousness and reasoning like this. One of the00:03:29
advantages I have is Gelik. The downside is that my00:03:32
parents live in it, but in general, it’s big from Bryusov,00:03:36
they don’t interfere, almost like00:03:38
this. okay, let's talk about something00:03:40
serious, guys. Let's just be honest,00:03:41
they prescribed suppositories for someone's ass,00:03:45
no one, not even one, but I did00:03:49
n't either. Imagine how cool it was.00:03:52
Yes, in general. Well, let's imagine if they00:03:56
prescribed it for me. So that I can tell you,00:03:58
of course, what -they’ll be sitting Okay,00:04:01
look, they haven’t prescribed it. If you, of00:04:05
course, didn’t know, I’ll tell you what it00:04:08
is, there’s a doctor, it’s very important. He00:04:10
says it’s very important. Yes, you00:04:12
know. He says it’s important,00:04:35
so it’s necessary. It’s00:04:37
inconvenient to tell it.00:04:39
if you will It’s terrible00:04:41
I’m lying on my side00:04:45
like this And I’m honest I’ve never00:04:48
had anything there in my life No guests have00:04:51
ever I’m lying there and I’m like, well The doctor said00:04:55
straight, well, it’s necessary to be straight And I don’t know these00:04:59
sensations as I’m lying there, but there or not00:05:01
there you00:05:02
need to check this00:05:05
[music]00:05:07
and I check00:05:10
and everything is fine, she’s there00:05:12
I’m lying there like this And if I just stuck my finger up my ass00:05:15
now it was on another day it was a00:05:19
joke It’s a joke Okay I don’t know00:05:22
what’s even shorter if there’s no such thing Yes so00:05:25
that on the fifth the day is already easier guys,00:05:26
well, you’re already doing something with a kick on the00:05:28
seventh so soon home So no, and00:05:31
on the tenth I took it without hands No, well, like,00:05:32
this is terrible Yes, it’s better not to let it come to that00:05:35
Okay, in fact, it’s very difficult00:05:37
to perform If you don’t understand What00:05:40
time is it so hard to perform now everyone00:05:42
is offended on the minibus everyone is offended on the00:05:44
minibus the couriers are offended at me I00:05:46
worked half my life as a courier once00:05:49
joked they were offended call me I swear they00:05:51
called We will find you, we will kill you just like that00:05:54
thank God these are couriers They couldn’t00:05:57
find me you understand They they just00:06:01
couldn’t find me They called like we are00:06:05
their 10 barrier you [ __ ] you where I say00:06:09
I’m standing at the end of the building Find please00:06:11
there are those for you very strange I want I00:06:14
want to formulate with you00:06:16
this is important to understand I’ll start00:06:19
telling it look you when- Have you ever00:06:21
imagined a world where every00:06:23
person has only one sexual partner in their00:06:26
entire life? Think about one Well, there’s really no one00:06:28
before or after. It’s ideal and when00:06:30
a woman said that, horror and her husband sat next to her.00:06:34
Well, in short, can00:06:36
you imagine such a world? Come00:06:38
first, what a unique sex it was in00:06:41
every couple you thought about it no matter how we don’t00:06:43
know how others do this00:06:44
Well, maybe the navel Well we don’t know look00:06:47
now that’s what I thought now00:06:48
when we’re all in some kind of chaotic00:06:50
order and we’re all sleeping with each other in00:06:52
fact we’re passing each other on knowledge to a friend and they I will00:06:55
explain everything,00:06:57
listen to the end you understand Well, that’s your00:06:59
name bro What’s your name Evgeniy you00:07:02
understand that maybe you taught me something about00:07:03
sex we don’t wait don’t and don’t00:07:07
[ __ ] my wife I see it for the first time I’ll explain00:07:08
look Evgeniy Maybe you have sometime00:07:10
in your life Well done girl, maybe00:07:14
I just looked Well, in short, maybe this is00:07:16
Yes, you had girls there, everything00:07:19
goes to this here at some point, I00:07:21
say like this is the pose and she’s like00:07:22
Wow, how cool Well, I got separated00:07:25
new man at some point she00:07:27
says Look what a pose and he’s like Wow00:07:29
think this man comes home to his00:07:31
wife says00:07:32
Look what a pose Well what a man00:07:35
look she’s like Wow and then his wife00:07:37
told me Let’s just chat she’s like that’s how it00:07:42
turns out me Evgeniy taught you00:07:45
understand really I’m saying when I00:07:47
understood this look first of all guys for your sake00:07:49
For you I have an answer to the main00:07:52
question of our life what are milfs for00:07:55
everyone Wanted to know don’t pretend to be what they are for00:07:58
Minsk It’s very simple they have a00:08:00
special mission00:08:04
They convey we know the knowledge of fathers, you00:08:06
understand No, really, they sound00:08:09
fabulous, milfs like elves, they sound, no, it’s like something00:08:11
like this should be on the wings,00:08:13
you can finger your ass I’m like, You can’t have a00:08:14
candle there, it flies away You understand, somehow,00:08:17
well, this is all the most important thing, the00:08:20
most important thing I came for, well and finally a00:08:22
dream and a goal in life appeared when I00:08:24
realized that we are00:08:25
passing on and teaching to each other like this, dreams of a goal in life, I00:08:27
want to launch my pose into the world00:08:30
so that girls tell their men00:08:32
Let's have sex in Guram style You see, by00:08:34
the way, I have a pose there is a demo version,00:08:37
I’m demonstrating it to you right now,00:08:39
look, it means I can Ramsky Well, you00:08:42
don’t have to clap, you just have to watch One on00:08:45
one, like a dog’s Yes, the only00:08:47
difference is She’s holding00:08:49
you tightly by the hair on your legs all this time, like this,00:08:50
definitely try it, it’s a great pose00:08:53
in general, listen to us you know, yes, in our00:08:56
families,00:08:57
again,00:08:59
I raised my children strictly, you know the girls, and00:09:01
so on, yes, like we have a girl before00:09:03
the wedding, we can’t, we00:09:04
came up with00:09:05
these, then we can do it before the wedding, and00:09:08
after the wedding, if you don’t get burned,00:09:09
you can also do it like this Well, or an awesome scheme, eh00:09:11
this is sexism girls yes Let's talk to you00:09:14
this is sexism yes Well let's00:09:15
then, for the sake of fairness you00:09:18
also don't need a virgin00:09:19
right Well just think about it You got married and00:09:22
you're his first you yourself then go00:09:24
and train Well what is this Well Well,00:09:27
honestly, it’s only worse when both are for the first time,00:09:28
when two drivers just00:09:30
can’t pass each other, they honk at each other, I00:09:31
just don’t know girls, I’m00:09:34
so strongly on your side in this regard, I’m so00:09:35
sorry because we’re men, we00:09:37
use terrible words about a woman’s00:09:39
virginity, terrible deprived, lost in I00:09:43
was riding on the bus like this, you understand this is00:09:45
terrible, it means that you tore this.00:09:49
This is a crime, no, he00:09:52
knocked him down, he says, think about the hymen, he knocked him down,00:09:55
tomorrow the court should sound like this, no, he00:09:58
tore him, in return for this, nature gave00:10:01
some guys small penises,00:10:02
rightly, they can’t even say,00:10:04
tore it, pulled it a little - almost00:10:07
flew off the trampoline, it didn’t work out, this is00:10:08
justice Yes, and really, no matter how00:10:11
fair it is, a man can’t understand a00:10:12
virgin who is not a virgin. It’s physically00:10:14
impossible, there’s no such thing as a00:10:15
torn member. No, just by looking00:10:17
at the girl. Unfortunately, you can understand it00:10:19
physically. Yes, this is when she’s like00:10:21
that during sex. [ __ ] me and so well, this is an00:10:23
experienced woman this is not the first time00:10:24
girls need to talk about this00:10:25
please Stop doing this00:10:28
during sex this is what it’s like during sex00:10:29
she’s so scary to me and what am I00:10:31
doing for 10 minutes What am I doing It’s like in00:10:35
childhood when you eat and your mother is like that eat yes00:10:37
I eat I can’t eat while I’m eating00:10:41
[ __ ] me what is this This should be00:10:44
said in a restaurant when we’re sitting still00:10:45
dressed [ __ ] me that’s good Let’s go this is how it00:10:47
should be I don’t like this00:10:49
[ __ ] me I love it when this No no00:10:51
no00:10:53
Who are you okay this is a joke okay and this is the00:10:56
girls important point faster it should00:10:58
go faster who am I competing with what kind of00:11:02
race is faster Yes I'm scared what kind of00:11:06
speed I want like this how to stay in the car like this we'll00:11:08
drive like this we'll crash00:11:11
what is it when you want condoms already00:11:13
pull it on your balls so they don’t break00:11:15
What’s that faster in the oncoming traffic00:11:19
[ __ ] me faster than everyone who [ __ ] me00:11:22
what is this00:11:23
Stop doing this, we’re scared00:11:27
And the last thing I don’t even want00:11:29
to look at your eyes when I’m talking00:11:32
Since I advise you don’t give out girls00:11:38
after a [ __ ] kiss climb00:11:40
look00:11:41
someone should have said this Well, guys,00:11:43
you understand yes yes you can clap for this one00:11:47
hundred percent When you already00:11:48
kiss like a relative like that yes of course00:11:50
Of course00:11:51
they won’t kiss you on the forehead Thank you very much00:11:54
people Thank you bye bye00:11:56
[applause]00:11:59
[music]00:12:01
smooth place00:12:06
in places not so remote, I00:12:10
understood everything, realized everything, go back to your00:12:13
place of residence00:12:15
and find that everything is there in one00:12:18
place,00:12:20
first explain why this strawberry is00:12:22
without rubbing00:12:23
Irina Rozanova Tatyana Kravchenko Nikolay00:12:27
Fomenko Anastasia Samburskaya00:12:29
shirt00:12:35
and its weak points00:12:41
[music]00:12:48
[music]00:12:58
[music]Description:
Гурам Амарян про необычные выражения, покупку гелика вместо квартиры и идеальный мир НизоCare® тоник для ежедневного ухода за раздраженной кожей головы https://nizoral.ru/nizocare-tonic/ Смотри НОВЫЙ СЕЗОН шоу #StandUp по пятницам в 23:00 на #ТНТ StandUp в соц. сетях: ВКонтакте: https://vk.com/brandnewshow Телеграм: https://t.me/stndptnt ТЕЛЕКАНАЛ ТНТ в соцсетях: Rutube: https://rutube.ru/u/tnt/ ВКонтакте: https://vk.com/tnt Телеграм: https://t.me/TNT_television Одноклассники: https://ok.ru/tnt Производство: Comedy Club Production
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