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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:01
[music]00:00:30
and00:00:33
[music]00:01:23
clap those who think I’m Russian00:01:30
in general, you know I was seen on before I’m a well-00:01:35
known type 5 broadcasts on TNT and 19000:01:41
videos on pornhub you should00:01:44
have known anyway, it’s difficult for me to be00:01:47
Russian in our time, it’s00:01:52
really difficult for me you have to be00:01:55
Russian and tolerant at the same time00:01:56
to understand what I mean I was once walking down the street I00:01:59
see a Russian girl standing kissing some00:02:01
Asian guy I think it’s that there are00:02:03
generally few normal Russian guys00:02:06
like me in Russia, at least I00:02:11
treat all visitors normally if it’s real I00:02:13
understand that I don’t come there to earn00:02:14
money to wean off my studies, I just need to remember that I’m00:02:16
visiting my country, that’s all, the00:02:18
only thing I want is for my children00:02:20
Latisha Ejer to grow up in a normal way, you00:02:23
Comoros, I have a sister and00:02:29
she’s home once the guy rule00:02:31
the UN turned out to be a black man I'm so crazy I never00:02:38
thought that my black sister would be punished00:02:40
for that, recording actions on colleagues00:02:41
is a completely different culture and you know00:02:43
what I'm talking about, I don't know, I don't like screaming00:02:47
basketball like he loves it,00:02:51
I'm just like, what am I for the purity of our00:02:58
nation? us Russian guys, we are00:03:07
underestimated in Russia, they want a girl, so I00:03:10
can refuse the guy, the Russian00:03:12
one infuriates me when you sit on the toilet and the00:03:14
tip of the penis is letting out the vault, agree,00:03:16
annoying this topic, I really have the same cheeks00:03:23
and cheeks in general, keep quiet00:03:31
[music]00:03:33
san, it’s funny that I can tell00:03:36
such jokes because if any00:03:39
white person came on stage and started00:03:40
saying the same thing, maybe he would00:03:42
face condemnation, but I can00:03:44
say things like this, well, in general, something about00:03:46
this I’m amazed somewhere I’m right, maybe I’m right,00:03:48
I have a girlfriend, yes she is Russian and I do00:03:53
n’t live together and we recently needed to00:03:56
buy a sofa for home, we00:03:58
go into a furniture store together, we approach00:03:59
the seller of the game, we need a flesh-colored sofa, the00:04:05
fashion seller is like this, and what kind of00:04:08
flesh-colored one I often didn’t understand, I asked00:04:10
him again, he brought us to the00:04:11
light brown sofa asks00:04:13
such a moment we are a girl, don’t we need00:04:16
flesh color, this is some kind of skin color that doesn’t know,00:04:18
this is my girlfriend, a racist, I00:04:24
realized something, I thought about what it means00:04:28
to be Russian because in Russia they say00:04:32
Russia is for Russians, but no one00:04:34
Russia gives for Russians I always thought as a child00:04:36
that everyone who lives in Russia is a racist and00:04:39
because the words are similar to the service st00:04:41
this is when I received a passport q well,00:04:42
now everything is officially a racist00:04:43
I am a citizen of the Russian Federation but00:04:47
then naturally I grew up and realized that this is the case00:04:49
with in fact,00:04:51
what does it mean to be Russian, I thought about it and00:04:57
realized that everything in Russia, everything good in00:05:00
Russia is called Russian, everything is worth being00:05:03
proud of, Russian girls are the most beautiful00:05:05
in the world, the Russian language is great, powerful, the00:05:08
Russian soul, Russian bathhouse, then all the00:05:11
amazing things, but all the most00:05:13
disgusting things in Russia are called00:05:15
Russian00:05:19
Russian auto industry00:05:21
Russian football premier league00:05:24
Russian A6 cheese Russian champagne00:05:26
[ __ ] up for the event guys these are00:05:29
disgusting things the only00:05:33
exception is Russian porn00:05:35
well because this is part of Russian00:05:38
cinema so in general everything is00:05:40
clear here I think Russia is the most00:05:43
inappropriate place for nationalism00:05:45
because there are a lot of people here, about00:05:47
40 ethnic groups and come on, there are a00:05:50
lot of them, so many many nationalities that00:05:52
you can invent, in principle, these 11 before00:05:55
this kulebyaki are half Tatar and00:05:58
half cabbage pie warlike00:06:01
warlike Russian people, as if at00:06:08
some point they were tired of understanding00:06:10
nations not so you don't care about this,00:06:13
you are Dargins, [ __ ] you, Russia for Russians, Russia00:06:15
conquered half the world for several00:06:26
centuries, annexed the territory of00:06:28
Panda Kay, go back to00:06:29
where you came from, [ __ ] you00:06:31
conquered the place where we came from, it is00:06:37
very important to understand who you are, in00:06:40
fact, there is an identity crisis personality one00:06:42
of the most serious life of a person knew00:06:44
about it understand who you are00:06:47
self-determination for me it’s difficult00:06:49
to do because I’m too white for00:06:53
blacks00:06:55
and too black for whites to understand00:07:00
what I’m talking about in a circle of whites it looks like00:07:02
I want to sell drugs a rolling00:07:06
pin for blacks looks like this and where do I want00:07:10
to buy a gift when I don’t know, it’s some kind of00:07:11
vicious circle and this business model is00:07:13
already ready. At first I thought that the Caucasus00:07:16
itself has seeds like they are also called00:07:17
black, they are also afraid of them, there00:07:19
is a ghetto there, like00:07:21
vegetable warehouses, fruit markets, that’s all00:07:26
I even once came up to the Caucasus, he00:07:27
said that he was also from Wakanda,00:07:35
not only so show me the tattoo on the00:07:38
lower lip, I’ll show you there in the top of yours, it00:07:40
fell out, then we’ve definitely heard what’s00:07:49
happening in America, who knows about black00:07:53
lives matter, clap and for those who don’t know this is a00:07:58
movement against forced blacks00:08:00
so that you understand, I’ll tell you for example,00:08:04
imagine if some category of00:08:07
people in Russia in Russia were infringed on their00:08:10
rights, they would not be given freedom of speech and again there00:08:14
would be freedom of movement freedom of00:08:15
choice the policeman allows more and more than00:08:19
usual I understand this is difficult for you to00:08:22
understand this is a fantasy It’s easier for yours in00:08:27
Russia, I’m very often asked00:08:28
about what I think about this,00:08:30
someone has it written on my forehead, I don’t know, I’m00:08:31
not x galaxies, very far from this, very00:08:34
far from your max, why don’t you00:08:36
support black people, don’t go out into the00:08:39
streets00:08:40
with protests, so even if I00:08:42
went out with a protest on the street 1 fur coat,00:08:45
bikes, smashed windows, how would it be different from00:08:48
vacation work?00:08:58
the fact that the promoter and gathered where00:09:01
he is, their flyers can really imagine how they will00:09:05
help you demand something to go to the00:09:07
rally, they take off one poster, then they00:09:11
put on a poster with demands, they just00:09:12
do their job for free, in fact, it00:09:18
really infuriates me that there is00:09:21
hypocrisy in society regarding this00:09:23
issue, especially in Russia, you heard that00:09:26
at the same time that black lives matter was happening00:09:28
in Russia, they killed a Russian guy in00:09:31
Yekaterinburg, I'll take some trouble, you know this00:09:33
story before the guy stole my00:09:36
age eight years old, he stole wallpaper from a store and00:09:39
he was shot by the police at home, but00:09:43
everything is in Russia lose weight and dark-skinned00:09:47
people that it’s fashionable now it’s fashionable to00:09:49
support dark-skinned people posted a black00:09:51
square these are something I haven’t seen on social00:09:53
networks so they post photos of wallpaper00:09:55
with the inscription pits wallpaper there’s nothing like that, it’s00:10:00
happening everywhere a lot of00:10:03
Russians are being killed by the police I thought00:10:06
that in Russia there are Russians and there are blacks, you all00:10:16
look the same to the police, he is00:10:21
treated much better than me by the police00:10:23
because I love the company of people, I make it00:10:26
safer if there is a bunch of drunk00:10:28
Russian guys, then they are drunks and00:10:31
looking for adventure, if this is a bunch of drunks, they00:10:33
won’t be with me, then that’s already00:10:34
foreign delegation who else where else to00:10:36
rest you know00:10:38
at one time the police even took the00:10:41
Russians home I was drunk in a conditional car I00:10:43
woke up in the kitchen and imagine it’s even00:10:53
difficult to be Russian because you00:10:55
have to love all sorts of crap only about00:11:00
jellied meat there are those who love jellied meat00:11:05
pat00:11:07
something for me that people who like jellied00:11:10
meat are much more low-quality00:11:12
people, in principle, it doesn’t feel that way, it’s00:11:15
made from [ __ ], I’m all aware it doesn’t00:11:17
look like something you want to eat, it00:11:19
looks like something they forgot to throw out00:11:20
once00:11:21
from the cartilage of the hooves of the ears, but that’s all you shouldn’t00:11:24
eat the principle I understand why my mother00:11:26
took00:11:27
bones when visiting for a dog who00:11:29
didn’t have a dog at all my mother wants me to have a00:11:34
Russian mother finds me to00:11:36
love jellied meat you hope like you’re00:11:37
half Russian this culture00:11:40
you live in should love this00:11:41
this is all damn it, oh I ate in a restaurant of00:11:44
my folk cuisine and the wings in Kiev00:11:46
are all [ __ ] up and I’m darkening, you’re really delicious and00:11:49
I once in my life and decided to try the jellied meat00:11:51
began to come to life, something00:11:54
crunched there with kim, such a delicious00:11:57
cartilage itself, I think there is no one,00:12:03
she so wanted me to love jellied meat00:12:06
that she once made me as a child00:12:08
jellied meat in the shape of gummy bears,00:12:10
imagine what the [ __ ] this is at what00:12:15
moment she decided that, well, love for jellied meat00:12:17
can be much more important than the fragile child’s00:12:19
psyche and thank God she didn’t think of it00:12:22
they brought these false bears to school, everyone00:12:25
would have thought in Hannibal’s family, someone00:12:30
told me that the most delicious thing in jellied meat is00:12:32
fisherman’s vodka00:12:38
[laughter]00:12:40
in France they eat foie gras, you know, just the00:12:43
most delicate goose liver pate, and we are in00:12:45
Russia, you have something there in August left,00:12:48
can we we know what to do with this also00:12:54
these Russian waffles you00:12:55
know these Russian waffles such bars00:12:58
who are made of sawdust dust and feelings of00:13:00
poverty experts00:13:02
eat waffle Dutch Viennese Ueban00:13:05
attacks everyone understand the peak point of them what00:13:09
strong cake makes just chipboard flying around with00:13:12
chocolate as if you push the school desk00:13:17
[applause]00:13:26
someone told me that these00:13:31
waffles are called in all teas,00:13:33
well, that is, the name itself is helium dude, the00:13:36
better the record, the better they cost, in00:13:38
principle, there are two products the composition of00:13:41
which you don’t want to know is waffles,00:13:42
corn sticks00:13:44
if someone forgot what corn00:13:46
sticks are and then he changes the windows at home, here’s the00:13:48
polyurethane foam, only sweet in bags00:13:50
so huge,00:13:52
I’m right about why we loved waffles in00:13:55
childhood, because there were no alternatives to what00:13:56
we were spoiled with as children, these waffles are00:13:59
dried kurabye cookies with drops of00:14:02
dried jam and in the fifties how to00:14:04
make batches we still finish eating and if00:14:06
you didn’t know, but from all these00:14:08
restrictions we came up with such a cool00:14:10
thing as bread with butter and sugar,00:14:12
the memory is amazing topics if after00:14:18
you supply the modern child to00:14:19
continue bread and butter with ha well what else was there to be00:14:21
like, okay,00:14:24
right now it’s sienna, then you won’t give us just something00:14:25
tasty, that’s right, bananas are a thrill,00:14:36
I like bananas, but for some reason00:14:39
society has raised this absolute to00:14:41
understand what I’m talking about here when he sees us as00:14:43
bananas after all, ahahaha funny immediately00:14:45
knows everything starts jokes about this is too00:14:48
strong a stereotype I work in the office with if00:14:50
someone’s banana disappears then everyone00:14:52
will think of me that’s why even if a00:14:55
banana appears at all it’s still a00:14:57
nebula that’s why leave it he’ll eat00:14:58
himself up the feeling of tension when at the00:15:02
checkout you grab a banana, I feel like I’m00:15:04
a drunk, you’re Roberta chekushku vodka in a jar,00:15:06
that’s not who I am, that’s how life is, you know, he00:15:08
specially buys a black bag so that00:15:10
no one sees something from me, a00:15:16
friend once asked me like max honor,00:15:18
this whole topic touches me with bananas,00:15:19
if the Mexicans continue like this and Sonya00:15:21
fights for this, it almost hurts, well,00:15:24
first of all, bananas are not my dumb00:15:26
national crush00:15:27
bananas national before monkeys let's00:15:30
understand this and00:15:34
[applause]00:15:37
I'm Russian they call me in the little house in the morning too00:15:42
I also like to take00:15:47
national there Russian dish pancakes with00:15:48
bananas and it’s true, but still, I was00:15:53
once visiting with a girl, we started with00:15:54
banana, well, out of stupidity, I completely lost my00:15:57
vigilance, this moment out of stupidity, and00:15:58
one of my friends said like max, then00:16:00
you’re doing it wrong, you need to00:16:02
open the ban on the other side to which my00:16:04
girlfriend answered her, are you seriously00:16:07
teaching him, he’s a doctor of banana science, not00:16:17
by deeds, he knows everything about rap, I googled how to00:16:23
understand bananas and there are thousands of videos on YouTube, think of00:16:26
thousands of videos on how to do the point00:16:28
and what’s the funniest thing is all these videos from00:16:31
white people are that the player you have00:16:33
some kind of exit youtube and just pounded on the wall00:16:36
until the yellow thing black saw00:16:37
aksu00:16:38
my mother is Russian00:16:52
father and African I’m like amber below the00:16:56
navel white if you didn’t know00:16:59
and don’t judge in mom was dark it’s gone00:17:02
I understand at all I spent my entire childhood00:17:07
in Krasnodar, you know, there weren’t00:17:08
any difficulties due to skin color or00:17:10
nationality, everything was cool, in our00:17:13
yard, Caucasians lived in their very [ __ ],00:17:14
so I00:17:15
walked along this line smoothly, the only00:17:19
thing that bothered me was unconscious racism00:17:20
when the film came out blind man's buff I stopped being00:17:23
the maximum I was a flop for the next five00:17:25
years join in as a child there was such a game00:17:35
called the game of silence, this is when00:17:37
someone said some phrase and everyone00:17:39
had to be silent after it one of00:17:42
these phrases sounded like who was born in the00:17:47
ass of a black man from stuck, what the hell is this so00:17:52
Russian, at what point did00:17:54
this phrase appear in Russian courtyards,00:17:56
it’s not particularly tolerant, what kind of game is this00:17:58
that you initially lost, how do you00:18:00
understand that children don’t even know such words,00:18:05
wheezing, and it’s funny that we do00:18:09
n’t00:18:10
identify ourselves as children I knew that you were talking about00:18:11
me, I also ran around the yards shaking this00:18:14
phrase like Hayek then the radius in the black man’s ass00:18:16
and still, well, it00:18:22
looked as if I00:18:24
had lost my younger brother, don’t give up, there are00:18:29
a lot of references to dark-skinned people since the00:18:32
series has a lot and somehow last00:18:35
year it was March 8, it fell on a Friday, so00:18:37
you get it, there were three days off, in00:18:39
general, I was sitting in the office the day before I was working, the00:18:41
boss came to me with the phrase phew, three days00:18:44
off, at least let’s rest like normal00:18:46
white people,00:18:47
well, well, a classic phrase for any00:18:49
Russian person, here there's a ripe00:18:52
calendar there, it's [ __ ], you're working not then00:18:54
but now clap and who thinks I'm00:18:59
Russian00:19:00
[applause]00:19:23
[music]Description:
Ранние премьеры, эксклюзивы и лучшие шоу в нашем приложении The Hole: https://mediumquality.page.link/Outside_hole Смотрите выпуски в фоне и пробуйте остальные штуки — всё бесплатно. Заходить можно без стука!! Максим Эломбила о поисках идентичности и цвете кожи, русском и российском, движении Black lives matter, холодце, вафлях и бананах. OUTSIDE STAND UP: каждую неделю новый стендап-сольник. Макс Инст: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Макс Ютуб: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaHtsoUAsh41wY-m5qxMT9A Аутсайд Инста: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Medium Quality Production: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Снято в Петербургском стендап-клубе: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser О комике: Максим родился в Краснодаре, но до 5 лет жил на родине отца - в Конго. С 2015 года живет в Москве. Занимается комедией и снимает подкаст с разными меньшиснтвами в России о самоидентификации и самоопределении. Ссылка: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaHtsoUAsh41wY-m5qxMT9A
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