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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:01
[music]00:00:02
[applause]00:00:11
Hello Evgeny Petrosyan and everyone, everyone,00:00:15
let the screen smile and everyone who00:00:19
wants to make a good joke, we can00:00:22
invite guests and it will immediately become easier to live, at00:00:25
least more fun00:00:28
[music] with my00:00:38
soul now I’ll show you for you00:00:45
[applause]00:00:52
[music] The00:01:03
question has become a00:01:05
funny question, it00:01:07
cannot be taken seriously,00:01:12
such a question will not be discussed by the waves, our hero of the day00:01:17
Who is he, after all,00:01:20
our answer is very clear and simple, it00:01:24
sounds so simple, it sounds like00:01:28
our Petrosyan personally, no one’s but spring00:01:36
[music] there are a00:01:46
million familiar masks00:02:02
[applause ] they00:03:08
say00:03:11
sinners will burn in hell,00:03:15
something I doubt,00:03:17
look at some of what they are00:03:20
doing here and you think there will not be00:03:24
enough firewood or stokers for them in hell.00:03:27
As they say to someone, God00:03:31
gives a bright head to someone at birth, to someone00:03:34
golden hands And someone's a little guy with00:03:38
adventures00:03:40
[applause]00:03:44
But on the other hand, how can you get to heaven00:03:47
if 5 of the 7 deadly sins are lying00:03:51
in wait for you? I don't consider these terrible00:03:55
sins to be murders. God bless you or00:03:58
something else. Well, it's not by chance that00:04:02
one guy said a list like this. mortal sins00:04:05
looks suspiciously like my plans for00:04:09
Sunday00:04:14
Well, let's figure it out in the end Well,00:04:18
they say gluttony is a big sin And here,00:04:21
eating to your heart's content is a hobby, a00:04:25
foreigner, of course,00:04:27
after three plates00:04:30
Cook a couple of packs of dumplings,00:04:39
whoever disagrees with me00:04:43
will return your money or take it away,00:04:48
but in fairness For the sake of it, let's say that now00:04:50
many are trying to get rid of excess00:04:53
weight, one wife told her husband that now00:04:55
there are amazing anti-rass drugs,00:04:57
fatty cellulite has disappeared with itself, the weight00:05:00
has disappeared. He says there is no point in00:05:03
spending money, you need less gelatin,00:05:06
more with your backside moved to the refrigerator, don’t00:05:08
come near the refrigerator,00:05:13
one fat woman hung up a reminder.00:05:16
in the kitchen I don’t eat after six my husband00:05:20
attributed it to the morning00:05:24
[applause] the00:05:26
next sin is if someone went to the left a00:05:29
big sin00:05:36
[applause] a00:05:43
very big sin00:05:56
[applause]00:05:58
you go out everything is stuck with your pride yes00:06:04
It’s all ambiguous she gives him sex only00:06:08
after the wedding he will marry her call00:06:16
[ applause]00:06:17
go figure out what they have there that is00:06:20
ambiguous, here on my balcony00:06:23
opposite my neighbor is sunbathing naked in the summer.00:06:26
Who will say it’s a sin to look at him or00:06:28
not? I can’t look,00:06:32
so cover my eyes with00:06:35
an adhesive plaster and I’ll still see everything00:06:37
I need to00:06:40
look at, lift it up00:06:59
I can’t look at her and listen to her00:07:03
at the same time, I’m00:07:05
flying on vacation, I didn’t00:07:18
choke on my saliva, do00:07:23
you want tea or coffee,00:07:26
I’m already losing consciousness, I asked which one00:07:30
of them that00:07:34
[applause]00:07:43
I flew to Finland,00:07:46
it means I’m familiar there the film00:07:49
gave me a lecture that the champions of going00:07:52
left are the Estonians and Finns,00:07:56
I didn’t agree with him,00:07:59
I said As long as your Estonian seduces a woman in00:08:05
the Caucasus, he will become a dad three times00:08:13
[applause]00:08:16
What are they talking about this Well, almost only00:08:19
this is what they brag about, friend in front of a friend, what happened, that there00:08:22
weren’t00:08:24
so many women, that’s how many leaves there are on00:08:27
this tree00:08:35
[music]00:08:37
[applause]00:08:48
and the conversation is exhausted, the00:08:52
next sin00:08:55
is angry, swearing is bad, so I went to the00:08:59
dentist, he immediately pulled out 4 of my teeth, then00:09:04
twisted them00:09:07
[music]00:09:11
let’s do it for you this is somehow00:09:14
to compensate for the pain00:09:20
Let the bastard suffer from00:09:32
sin But our swearing sometimes has nothing to do with the Circle00:09:54
if we, our people, could not swear,00:09:57
this is how many people would be killed,00:10:01
and so the man sent and he went and00:10:06
saved his life and it really helps you not to sit00:10:14
strength, a group of our00:10:18
tourists lost in the jungle was00:10:21
found by swearing parrots00:10:26
[applause]00:10:29
Well, what else is it a sin to take bribes, but then again00:10:33
he’s in Tambov, what happened? The prosecutor’s office00:10:36
detained a woman who gave a bribe to the00:10:39
head of the traffic police not with money, but00:10:46
gave it right in his office, the00:10:52
court, without thinking,00:10:55
decided to compensate for it the matter is00:10:58
30-fold00:11:01
[applause]00:11:05
And now no one knows how to00:11:08
carry out this decree, the00:11:14
head of the traffic police refused to take it,00:11:18
it’s better to say hang yourself, how many00:11:21
sins are there in the world, and drunkenness is a00:11:24
sin, I saw two drunk men00:11:27
so drunk that the shirt of one of them was00:11:30
tucked into the trousers of the other,00:11:34
drunks00:11:40
What will we take?00:12:37
will be Wrong00:12:42
because we have been told for so many years Be00:12:44
patient tomorrow everything will be fine00:12:49
tomorrow Be patient and you are waiting for this tomorrow00:13:00
let’s00:13:10
ask people how life is today answer00:13:13
The flies would like it00:13:27
[applause] By00:13:36
the way, I’m also a pensioner working but the00:13:40
pensioner went to the social security office I need something there00:13:42
was to fill in, he says Dance,00:13:45
have fun with you From next month,00:13:47
pensioners have added benefits, which means00:13:50
they are allowed to ride for free on roofs and00:13:54
trains are00:13:56
not tied to00:14:01
cross the street at any light00:14:05
in any place00:14:08
and swing on high-voltage00:14:11
wires00:14:12
as much as you like.00:14:15
Thank you very much00:14:27
for paying off the mortgage00:14:29
at the expense of your mother’s capital, you need to00:14:32
give birth to 60 children,00:14:36
if you take out a mortgage of, say, 4 million,00:14:40
you need to pay it off for 25 years, and if00:14:43
you steal 4 million, you’ll be in prison for 7 years,00:14:50
many of these numbers00:14:56
still haunt me. Problem Why00:14:58
can our state forgive, say,00:15:01
Africa’s debt of 40 billion dollars and my00:15:04
debt tax 40 kopecks no00:15:08
when the tax building burned down, we were00:15:11
kind, helpful people who helped us in whatever way they could with00:15:15
firewood and gasoline00:15:19
[applause]00:15:24
the fire spread to the neighboring bank building00:15:29
sinners Ivan Petrovich the fireman stood and00:15:33
did nothing00:15:39
[applause]00:15:54
we are built that way,00:15:56
nothing can be done00:15:58
And not only in humans I I think even00:16:01
Sorry Kolobok has problems00:16:04
on his wedding night Kolobok lay in00:16:07
bed and thought that the bastard grandma didn’t00:16:11
make it00:16:17
[applause]00:16:21
I wish you to survive without the sin of00:16:25
chronic health for you00:16:28
progressive happiness of recurrent00:16:32
success00:16:33
hypertensive salary and an eternally00:16:36
pregnant wallet without the threat of00:16:39
miscarriages00:16:46
[music]00:16:56
[applause ]00:17:09
[music]00:17:16
poems00:17:21
tell me, uncle, it’s not00:17:23
for nothing that you and your aunt00:17:27
got to the concert as a couple, it’s not for nothing that you00:17:30
collected money, you came00:17:35
here, sat down in the hall, then Petrosyan came out.00:17:38
We waited, but Leps was not there and no00:17:44
[applause]00:17:53
dear friends, TV channels around the world are00:17:57
broadcasting a message about the anniversary Evgeniy00:18:00
Petrosyan TV00:18:05
[applause]00:18:09
[music]00:18:25
[music]00:18:35
taken00:18:37
Turkish channel00:18:41
turkeysporther00:18:43
Boxing00:18:49
[music]00:18:51
Estonian Night channel00:19:04
[applause]00:19:08
[music]00:19:20
[music]00:19:27
[applause]00:19:46
[laughter]00:19:59
[music] [00:20:13
music]00:20:20
[music]00:20:31
[applause]00:20:35
Elena Kulikova00:20:36
[music]00:20:40
[applause]00:20:49
My uncle had the00:20:52
most honest rules when they jokingly00:20:56
the castle00:20:58
listened to Petrosyan’s jokes00:21:04
but still couldn’t survive00:21:08
[applause] he00:21:12
erected a monument to himself,00:21:17
not made by hands; the00:21:18
people’s path will not be overgrown with him, because Petrosyan bought the00:21:22
mower and does not let the trapeze00:21:28
[ applause]00:21:31
thank you thank you they say the guns are silent So be00:21:36
silent00:21:38
[applause]00:21:42
another number of years will pass 30-40 or00:21:47
maybe 50 Evgeniy Vaganovich is building00:21:50
another benefit performance He will be well over00:21:55
100 150 150 and maybe even more, well,00:22:00
since long-livers in the Caucasus are called00:22:02
aksakals then the song he sings00:22:05
will also have a Caucasian flavor00:22:16
[music] I have00:22:40
n’t been able to meet many of my colleagues.00:22:44
Who is already retired; who left a long time ago;00:22:49
Pugacheva only sings brighter; no stars; got married the other00:22:54
day to her grandson; Dzhigurda;00:22:59
born in the mountains;00:23:02
forever;00:23:06
at least I can00:23:09
sit at work; but I look at 10000:23:14
[music]00:23:15
I won’t forget how many years ago our prices00:23:20
grew every day, they banned swearing and the00:23:25
events were their quiet evening,00:23:28
we remember often drunk together for a00:23:37
very long time I live with age,00:23:42
sclerosis has passed me by00:23:48
[music]00:23:51
Grandfather already But what a botman00:24:02
[music ]00:24:14
[music]00:24:40
[applause]00:24:43
Evgeny Petrosyan00:24:46
[music]00:24:53
equals the number of years 70 degrees No00:24:56
there is 140 Change 140 is the pulse God forbid00:25:02
Well then the pressure00:25:10
I try to diversify the forms of the topic00:25:14
here Mikhail Zadornov is00:25:17
one of my authors who collaborated00:25:21
with me for 25 years then we they stopped00:25:25
cooperating, so Filiton sent me a00:25:29
gift00:25:31
for me to read. Well, I’ll read it with pleasure00:25:33
in the literal sense of the word.00:25:38
We are Amazing people only here when00:25:43
you overtake on oncoming traffic they can drive00:25:52
only here I go around a pothole on the road00:25:55
you can drive into another city00:26:00
[applause]00:26:03
we cry at weddings at the funeral we sing00:26:06
ditties00:26:08
Only our people can drink00:26:11
5 glasses of tea before going to bed and then toss and turn for half the night00:26:13
and think about whether to become now or wait until00:26:16
the morning00:26:20
[applause]00:26:23
not rich but always smartly dressed00:26:27
only our people notice a00:26:30
dirty spot on a small shirt and try00:26:32
to clean it with slobbering with their finger00:26:35
they turn a giant stain that00:26:39
then tries to get in with the tongue00:26:43
when it doesn’t work, takes it to00:26:46
the dry cleaner where the receptionist is surprised at what kind of poison they00:26:48
dug up.00:26:54
Our houses keep slippers from Turkish00:26:57
hotels,00:27:03
only in ours it’s like eating doesn’t mean00:27:06
overeating the00:27:10
expression to improve your health means to get00:27:12
drunk even more than yesterday00:27:17
only our man can drink00:27:19
100 grams in 40-degree heat to warm up00:27:28
and for appetite you can drink so that00:27:30
then it’s impossible to look at food for a week.00:27:35
We get up at 6 in the morning so that the alarm clock is00:27:38
set at 7, set to 8 and get up at00:27:41
9.00:27:42
We came up with the idea of eating watermelons before bed00:27:45
to get up earlier00:27:48
only we have an expression painfully smart00:27:51
Found And our woman, in my opinion, doesn’t00:27:54
quite understand what they’re saying I’m tired00:27:56
I feel without my hind legs00:28:00
[applause]00:28:08
the note is gone00:28:15
we bake pies and set up a table00:28:17
like no one else in the world with00:28:19
used tea bags Not00:28:21
throw it away, put it in a separate00:28:23
jar, it will be useful if Guests come00:28:26
to make tea,00:28:27
most of us are sure that00:28:30
meeting on the road in the morning with a funeral00:28:32
procession, that is, a dead person, is such00:28:34
happiness, and if you take the trash can out of the house in the evening, there00:28:37
will be no money in the house,00:28:40
only we have signs if there is a bird00:28:43
it's worth the money, judging by this00:28:46
sign in Excelberg and Abramovich00:28:53
[applause] have been00:28:54
wandering under the cranes for many years.00:29:01
Only ours know how to put on two pairs of socks00:29:04
so that the holes in them do not match.00:29:11
Only ours, when the lights are turned off in the apartment, the00:29:13
first thing he does is run to the window to00:29:15
look and is happy If you see in00:29:18
other houses also the light of blackouts00:29:22
[applause]00:29:26
only our person can get through without a00:29:29
queue to the information desk with the phrase I just need00:29:32
to ask,00:29:38
after all, it’s only the beginning of the question asked over the00:29:41
intercom Who’s there to answer it’s me00:29:46
she’s the question Where did you go to answer I’ll be right00:29:49
back00:29:52
or by phone instead of goodbye00:29:54
he says, come on,00:30:00
what, let's go where? Come on,00:30:02
let's answer the00:30:06
question asked on the mobile phone. You where to00:30:09
answer, I'm here00:30:12
and ours understand where it is and say I'll00:30:16
come to you now00:30:20
[applause]00:30:24
Only ours shout at things when they are00:30:28
suddenly hit for no reason. Why are you00:30:31
standing here,00:30:34
he’s been standing there for 40 years00:30:37
Only ours While driving a car,00:30:40
they argue with the GPS navigator00:30:52
[applause]00:30:54
that you need to turn00:30:59
and finally only with us if a woman in00:31:02
the crowd shouts Hey, you’re an [ __ ], turn around everyone00:31:15
But the most important thing is that we live without noticing00:31:19
everything this00:31:21
But with the dream that someday we will00:31:26
definitely be lucky and we will still00:31:29
meet on the road to the cemetery a hunchbacked00:31:32
chrome chimney sweep with a full bucket of00:31:35
garbage00:31:36
pooped by birds00:31:50
[music]00:31:53
[applause]00:31:54
[music]00:32:00
[music]00:32:07
several riddles, it’s not at all difficult for you to guess them00:32:10
we just need to finish the poems,00:32:12
let's try I don't want00:32:16
Thank you for agreeing00:32:19
I Didn't agree Thank you again Let's00:32:23
ask the Maestro, dear friends, to guess00:32:25
our riddles00:32:32
signature somehow prepared00:32:36
none I prepared00:32:39
Who was born in the Caucasus Who from the stage00:32:43
gives a holiday his life on stage all he is00:32:50
like -the school line you00:32:52
get00:32:56
Evgeny Petrosyan how can it be not00:33:04
[music]00:33:05
[applause]00:33:14
[music]00:33:19
Pionersky Poems are simple00:33:29
This is Sashka without a doubt00:33:33
And00:33:35
what Sashka Morozov is,00:33:41
one thing will be clarified: these brilliant00:33:44
riddles for my anniversary00:33:46
Well, of course, to yours, what else?00:33:49
I don’t know00:33:51
Tell me, do you have a lot of them? Yes, of course. It’s00:33:56
a pity that00:33:58
we continue to listen for hours to someone sing a verse of a00:34:02
ditty, who makes us laugh with their00:34:05
singing00:34:22
[applause]00:34:26
Arseny00:34:29
Well, actually, of course not, but to make it00:34:32
rhyme, Mikhail agreed to be00:34:34
Arseny for a little while for the sake of your anniversary, he did00:34:37
n’t doesn't mind doesn't mind Arseny you don't00:34:42
mind There's no point in objecting to him if he00:34:44
can do something nice for you Let's give you the00:34:46
next riddle I'm sure Now you'll00:34:48
definitely guess it but my confidence is getting00:34:51
less and less00:34:53
maybe there's a hint these are00:34:55
riddles for your anniversary Please forgive me00:34:59
Ashukova Arsenia is also an anniversary Yes of course the00:35:04
first day00:35:12
[applause]00:35:18
everything is for you00:35:23
[applause]00:35:35
Vaganych turns out Abramovich00:35:44
you guessed correctly that the00:35:46
clue to the middle name is just00:35:48
a little mistaken Please forgive me Abramovich00:35:51
Who is this00:35:52
Well, who is Arseniy Abramovich Bushukov00:36:00
just Few people know, he himself is00:36:04
not in the know yet As you can see00:36:06
Arseny00:36:10
I didn’t know It’s very nice to meet you00:36:19
[applause] let’s00:36:22
continue So you have to guess at least something, get your act00:36:25
together Everything’s just in rhyme,00:36:28
let’s have some jokes who’s willing to give their hours and00:36:32
minutes to this hall is00:36:35
Arseny00:36:41
Mikhail Smirnov no00:36:44
Alexey Bukhovtsev00:36:49
[applause]00:37:00
Glory to the boy Narovsky It’s00:37:03
not complicated at all Correct00:37:07
Because now we are starting the second00:37:10
part of our riddles, these are riddles, not00:37:12
folding beds,00:37:14
folding beds, I didn’t figure it out. Do00:37:17
n’t argue, there are enough00:37:21
folding beds.00:37:23
Let’s guess who reads monologues00:37:27
many, many, many, who plays sketches,00:37:31
skits, husband,00:37:36
if I’m wrong, at least don’t come home00:37:44
Elena's husband Lena's flies00:37:58
Why do I need this anniversary00:38:04
Why did I turn 7000:38:19
[applause]00:38:20
whatever you want, let's have Elena's husband but I don't00:38:25
know00:38:32
and now you just have to guess00:38:35
his name00:38:40
[applause]00:38:46
Elena's husband Stepanenko00:38:56
[laughter]00:39:00
[applause]00:39:04
[music]00:39:07
your logic this is Arseniy Abramovich00:39:12
[applause]00:39:19
[applause]00:39:25
I’m very glad that you found the time to pay00:39:28
attention to my wife While I’m at work00:39:34
[applause]00:39:42
[music]00:39:44
If a friend doesn’t laugh, turn on the00:39:48
sun for him and flood him with rays of light for the anniversary, a warm00:39:53
ray of jokes light up for a minute00:39:56
Transform cup of passion You are a master00:39:59
Sunday Saturday stage this is not work00:40:03
the scene is not work00:40:07
the viewer is a friend for him00:40:11
weekend and one00:40:13
[music]00:40:22
for you this is happiness just in the hall to00:40:26
communicate ways and make a joke it’s just00:40:29
difficult only without laughter00:40:33
Well, the sun will come out laughing in the hall00:40:37
Sunday Saturday stage this is not work,00:40:41
the stage is not work00:40:45
on weekdays, it’s a day00:40:47
off and on stage it still made00:40:55
me laugh. So I spent my money in vain00:41:00
if I put everyone together, the smiles that the jokes made00:41:03
have spread for 200 years, the joyful Sun will smile in the sky,00:41:06
if only there was snow, you00:41:09
gave us laughs, I could pull myself together00:41:15
[music]00:41:16
[applause]00:41:19
[music]00:41:24
friends00:41:27
[music]00:42:02
[applause]00:42:04
[music]00:42:25
Thank you Thank you00:42:29
[music]00:42:40
[applause]00:42:47
friends00:42:49
[applause]00:42:57
[music]00:43:07
I'm not a very jealous person, but when I00:43:11
see that my wife Katya is melting looking at00:43:15
her favorite singer I'm nervous00:43:19
I'm saying annoying What do you get excited about from him00:43:23
from him from his voice from the nightingale also00:43:27
get excited You're not jealous of the nightingale No00:43:34
not so narcissistic The singer has a00:43:38
creative nature I'm also a creative00:43:42
person Yesterday I had a concert with a00:43:43
mosquito he sang I clapped00:43:50
I'm tired of this already with jealousy you call00:43:54
me 10 times a day Who are you with where are you00:43:58
Calling at work in front of your co-workers00:44:00
is inconvenient Well I’m calling Well I think you’re all00:44:03
unhappy with this You know thirty years old00:44:06
women’s ear muscles weaken the noodles00:44:09
stop holding on00:44:12
difficult Of course women’s logic recently00:44:16
sent me a text message Call me I don’t00:44:19
I can find my mobile00:44:23
[applause]00:44:25
or you ask What are we having for00:44:27
dinner today? There was nothing yesterday, but I00:44:30
cooked for 2 days00:44:34
[applause]00:44:37
I understand. I won’t call you at00:44:40
work anymore, as it is, you won’t call me even once00:44:42
during the day, what? Let's go for the guys,00:44:45
I ask my son Well, what a strict mom,00:44:48
dad, you had a choice And what did I00:44:51
get00:44:57
and then my wife puts forward a new idea And00:45:02
you probably got someone, you were00:45:06
always worried about sex bombs, I say,00:45:09
after Eurovision you know how I look at women with00:45:12
beards No, that’s good00:45:18
[applause]00:45:22
[music]00:45:24
Yesterday when you showed up home at 5 am,00:45:27
Dimka and I showed up for our dissertation00:45:30
Cartel you smelled like cognac,00:45:57
like you mixed it up Sorry, followed by him, it’s okay,00:46:02
it’s okay,00:46:11
you’re interested in ducks If you’ve00:46:15
stopped loving me Collect your belongings Good00:46:18
riddance road court you'll have00:46:21
an idea poured while it's hot wait just00:46:25
nuns I'll collect it as I collect it for you just to get off the00:46:28
hook In general I love you and00:46:32
I hate you Go somewhere closer you00:46:35
won't believe it my nerves don't work anymore I00:46:38
'm holding on to the handle of the toilet door and00:46:42
I don't remember going there or there00:46:47
[applause]00:46:49
I say, you are 100 times more jealous than me And00:46:53
then I remembered the old parable: a00:46:56
man came to God and said, Dear God, what kind of00:47:00
injustice is this? I00:47:03
work hard from morning to night at work and my wife00:47:07
does nothing at home. Swap our roles00:47:10
so that justice will prevail. God,00:47:13
oddly enough, granted his00:47:16
request And the man began to be ready for thief00:47:20
Kostinka cleaning school lessons children00:47:25
problems Problems he’s not00:47:28
crazy he resorts to God again God made00:47:30
a mistake Put everything back in its place God threw up his00:47:35
hands00:47:36
too late you’re already pregnant00:47:44
[applause]00:47:49
I shot champagne from a bottle, my00:47:54
heart told me to toast, the weak00:47:58
respond with insult to insult, the strong forgive00:48:02
each other and the happy forget everything,00:48:06
let's forget all the nonsense that00:48:09
prevents us from our love, and I thought to00:48:14
myself, a man must learn to do00:48:17
two things in life: set fire to a hut and scare00:48:20
horses00:48:22
in order his woman had something to do00:48:27
on my neck and secretly told me there are00:48:31
no real men, they were invented by00:48:35
wives to scare their husbands with them00:48:40
[music]00:48:44
[applause]00:48:45
[music]00:49:02
[applause]00:49:09
quiet00:49:11
I love the thunderstorm in early May when Evgeny00:49:17
Petrosyan seems to promise to frolic00:49:23
knock the horns off the moose,00:49:27
who lets you in all the time?00:49:32
What can you give to a boy when he is00:49:35
three years old? He will be happy to00:49:37
have some small house.00:49:39
If you give a boy a small car when he is 7 years old,00:49:42
he will also be00:49:43
happy. But if the boy turns 70,00:49:45
what to give him? he already00:49:48
has a car and a house, he doesn’t need anything00:49:53
better, he doesn’t need anything No, well,00:49:56
you come up with something, something successful,00:49:59
something unsuccessful, this is also a gift, good00:50:01
So live gifts please00:50:04
[music]00:50:11
[applause]00:50:42
I’m thin in the brain but a proud00:50:46
envelope with money where to spend me00:50:50
Think up yourself, they00:50:52
gathered me from the whole team for00:50:57
vodka00:51:02
and not even enough for beer00:51:10
[applause]00:51:13
I00:51:17
gave a sweater to my aunt with a rose I will shoot up in the heat00:51:21
and in the cold I will shoot up all00:51:24
year round00:51:38
and what’s surprising is the meaning00:51:48
that you00:51:51
dear aunts, you still have to put up00:51:56
with me00:51:58
with a smile with a smile00:52:03
they read me on the face of00:52:06
the crawl wants to hang herself at the end00:52:09
[music]00:52:12
[applause] We’ll00:52:28
definitely drink like that00:52:47
[music]00:53:00
[applause]00:53:06
I’m just a birthday card00:53:10
inside there’s a printed text of congratulations,00:53:14
why bother It00:53:17
has become convenient for everyone to write a lot of words when the text is ready,00:53:20
we write congratulations according to the template, the circulation00:53:24
is small 25 million00:53:32
[applause]00:53:36
I am a00:53:37
Russian-Kirdyk explanatory dictionary they have00:53:43
never opened me00:53:49
[music]00:54:00
the language may not be studied for me, but00:54:04
when I trip up00:54:11
you are so [ __ ] me and I’m an00:54:14
incomprehensible crap,00:54:18
they specifically looked for me all day00:54:21
because it’s heavy, on the floor I’ll be00:54:25
standing near the closet in the corner with the same00:54:29
crap from that birthday00:54:32
[music]00:54:39
[music]00:54:43
[applause]00:54:46
I’m very handsome00:54:51
[laughter]00:54:54
I smelled nice and soft as cotton wool You00:54:58
can treat me with salad00:55:03
[music]00:55:04
[applause] I00:55:12
’ll give you a vaganich I think00:55:16
[music]00:55:17
and the services of three glasses of a five-star00:55:20
canyon00:55:22
that were paid for the tent and Dontsova00:55:26
Pollyan00:55:28
finish us with a burzha block moonshine00:55:31
[music]00:55:36
pores of gilded00:55:39
[music]00:55:49
methane hundreds of people like this I had a dream,00:55:56
I give it to you00:56:02
[applause]00:56:09
[music]00:56:19
[applause]00:56:21
for a change00:56:23
a song If this can be called a song, my00:56:27
wife called recently and told me to come to the00:56:30
kindergarten I asked Why do I need her, are you00:56:33
stupid, to pick up the child00:56:38
for someone a trifle task Well, it’s00:56:41
a heel in the gut for me. I’m busy with my career00:56:44
day and night with no choice, you see.00:56:47
I see the child only when he’s sleeping and it’s00:56:51
not easy to remember a face in the dark. Anyone can00:56:54
confirm the00:56:59
kindergarten, with great difficulty I was able to find it at the address,00:57:02
but then the question arose: who should I want00:57:05
in this kindergarten? pick up,00:57:08
no, ask who is here, my nanny, but I’m silent,00:57:11
suddenly they’ll misunderstand and decided to wait until00:57:14
all of them, mother, run away,00:57:17
as there won’t be any mistakes for sure Who will be left is the00:57:20
one And mine And it doesn’t matter son or daughter, I’ll00:57:24
accept any option00:57:26
Well, in short, I’m sitting in ambush in an hour or so00:57:29
Half an hour left, only two00:57:33
girls and a boy are left in the kindergarten. Dad comes in. Well,00:57:36
finally, choose and let’s go home, but00:57:39
looking at the children, the father suddenly00:57:41
quietly sat down with me00:57:46
[applause] then00:57:54
I realized that this shot, like me,00:57:58
came for the first time, so to speak, a debutant in the kindergarten00:58:01
Who will remain waiting Goat,00:58:04
admire Well, I’m surprised00:58:07
at such people, you have to be so00:58:10
indifferent to your family Well,00:58:14
what were we supposed to do with him cast00:58:16
lots 02 call he’s all Red All00:58:19
white we’re waiting for who for whom00:58:23
we’re tense maybe a year maybe 100 nights00:58:27
only at night the wives rushed and took00:58:31
us and the children00:58:35
[applause]00:58:41
that's all, that's00:58:46
all,00:58:47
they were saved, but doubt crept in,00:58:52
I honestly see my wife, too, at night in the00:58:58
pitch darkness, a00:59:01
subtle question arises that still doesn't00:59:05
give me sleep, suddenly it wasn't my00:59:08
child that00:59:09
took me away not my wife00:59:16
[applause]00:59:18
[music]00:59:28
[applause]00:59:33
[music]00:59:37
in general, Evgeniy and I are very lucky. The fact is00:59:40
that Evgeniy Vaganovich is a very00:59:41
friendly person. He always00:59:44
sets us up behind the scenes, you know, he00:59:46
says the guys were in the mood for good. You are the00:59:48
most cheerful. You are the best. Everything you00:59:50
will be fine and we go out so00:59:51
happy, you00:59:53
know what will happen if you take00:59:57
and set up an artist in a completely different way,01:00:00
take him and upset him Before going out01:00:02
Well, for example, Kolya01:00:05
Kolya, can I ask you,01:00:10
what a wonderful mood you are in.01:00:13
Excellent, feeling great,01:00:15
in general, I’m doing well01:00:17
but Evgeniy Vaganovich doesn’t think so,01:00:21
you know, he says that something hasn’t been01:00:22
working out for you lately, you know,01:00:24
somehow he started performing poorly,01:00:26
somehow he got too rich in our suit, you haven’t01:00:28
changed your hair for 10 years, you don’t take care01:00:30
of yourself at all, somehow you stopped keeping it hall,01:00:33
something’s not working out for you on stage01:00:34
lately,01:00:35
you know, what can we all give you?01:00:39
Let’s talk about the good Congratulate now Evgeniy01:00:41
Vaganovich01:00:48
Guys, please help the artist01:00:50
Evgeniy Vaganovich says that he ca01:00:52
n’t be on stage alone01:00:58
[music]01:01:02
oh our dear hero of the day01:01:05
our priceless workaholic Let01:01:09
your01:01:11
salary slips be zeros,01:01:16
you disperse the darkness everywhere in the Crimea, in01:01:20
Siberia, even in Poland Let there be01:01:24
no more than one or two spectators at this holiday concert, an01:01:29
interview is always open in your answers,01:01:32
wisdom, joy, what a thrill it is to read01:01:36
an article where they will write nasty things about you01:01:42
Let your smell not fade away Let your01:01:45
health be strong And for the problems that you01:01:49
sneezed, blew your nose,01:01:57
you are dressed strong coupon men Let at01:02:01
this festive concert and01:02:03
tear a nail with01:02:06
your acting, you evoke01:02:10
compliments sounds Let the liquid applause be forever addressed to01:02:18
stand still No, it’s not for him to go01:02:22
forward without fear and without falsehood,01:02:25
we wish01:02:27
him to go far, of course far, and as far as01:02:31
possible.01:02:38
Well, how do you like the guys’ performance? Well, I01:02:42
want to say that you had some kind of excessive Pathos, I01:02:44
would say even a tune, you are a01:02:47
very organic artist, she was winning01:02:49
now somehow... then you sounded fake01:02:52
How many times have I told you not to fuss01:02:55
at all, everything funny is written on your face,01:02:58
speak very simply and that’s all But01:03:01
Kolya, by the way,01:03:05
did everything very organically, sincerely01:03:09
spoke as Stanislavsky said Kolya, I01:03:11
believe you,01:03:13
you’re great, you’re a very good artist01:03:16
Evgeniy01:03:19
Don’t go away Now I’ll read you some poetry,01:03:21
thank you How I love01:03:37
your intellect and your taste is not bad,01:03:41
anyone is ready to kiss you01:03:44
like Let him kiss you01:03:52
[music]01:03:55
[applause]01:04:01
that we’re freaking out01:04:10
yesterday in the subway I01:04:12
sneezed on someone he got so angry01:04:47
I still don’t understand what My01:04:51
wife yelled at me, she didn’t talk to me for two weeks, she01:04:53
came home somehow, I saw her in01:04:58
some kind of erotic lingerie, she gave me01:05:01
some ropes and said tie me01:05:05
to the bed01:05:07
and do what you want to go01:05:13
fishing01:05:19
[applause]01:05:24
she said Do what you want01:05:27
women They’re fighting with me, what’s this01:05:30
happening? I love you. Yesterday, a01:05:33
busty woman got into a fight with me. We01:05:36
got into the elevator. I stared at her01:05:39
size eight bust. She tells me that your01:05:41
eyes are bugged out. Maybe you’ll finally press01:05:47
[applause]01:06:00
then something went wrong,01:06:06
calmer for no reason at all, they are01:06:10
nervous, they are yelling, he is walking along the sidewalk01:06:13
idiots with headphones and01:06:17
talking loudly to themselves, passers-by are shying away,01:06:20
they think he is crazy, some kind of headphones, like01:06:23
this He was on the tram with me, stood01:06:26
in front of me, says Hello,01:06:38
audible, says good01:06:43
[applause]01:06:46
of course01:06:56
[applause]01:07:09
[applause]01:07:19
and the weather is good01:07:26
[music]01:07:27
he says wait, there's some idiot here01:07:30
imitating me.01:07:35
I'm about to hit him and call you back.01:07:40
And then I realize that this idiot is me01:07:47
[applause] I01:07:50
can barely walk,01:07:54
here I am. I'm so [ __ ] awesome I don’t care,01:07:59
I jumped out of bed, I popped into our entrance, it’s01:08:02
dark there, but I see the silhouettes01:08:05
standing like a ball,01:08:30
then everyone will be fine01:08:39
[music]01:08:56
[applause]01:09:02
[music]01:09:09
Lately, a new word has appeared among the people, or rather on the01:09:13
Internet,01:09:16
petrosyanit01:09:22
Well, it’s not hard to guess what it means01:09:24
to amuse was to burn and so on01:09:28
I want to introduce you01:09:32
to Petrosyan’s short explanatory dictionary, I01:09:35
collected all the words. So the first word01:09:45
when Petrosyanit is to01:09:48
come unexpectedly with a cheerful gait01:09:54
from Petrosyanit to leave after under01:09:59
Petrosyan01:10:07
it was to Petrosyanit and to01:10:11
joke in some specific01:10:13
place for example under the door and run away01:10:19
[applause]01:10:28
experience a funny insomnia with someone01:10:36
Russian01:10:39
make an unfamiliar woman laugh although she01:10:42
wanted something completely different01:10:47
[applause]01:10:50
lose the documents for the car it’s01:10:57
not time to re-petrosyanit have01:11:01
fun running for the second one and the shops are01:11:04
closed01:11:07
doors to the idiot Petrosyan for a01:11:11
long applause at the01:11:13
Petrosyannitsa stage Thank you for your attention01:11:18
[music]01:11:24
I01:11:25
observe difficulties in our01:11:27
humorous genre and all the dead ends and all the01:11:31
problems that arise probably in01:11:35
any business arise in ours too, I01:11:38
worry about the whole genre, I want01:11:40
it to continue in our traditions, I should probably say01:11:44
in a modern01:11:47
sound so that people rejoice and01:11:49
have fun and looked at life more01:11:53
optimistically, laughter helps in many ways, I01:11:57
worry very much when01:12:01
many genres are forgotten They could still01:12:05
exist, in particular,01:12:09
humorous youth do not sing ditties and01:12:12
couplets, they believe that this is01:12:15
yesterday, that it will not bring success, the couplet01:12:17
existed in Russia for 30 years and01:12:22
has always been a success, which means that today it can01:12:25
have Success. And a ditty, what is a01:12:27
ditty, this is01:12:30
a joke that bubbles up in the soul of the people01:12:34
and makes you look at life with01:12:37
cheerful eyes, if you want, this is also an01:12:40
element of our survival in the forest We01:12:44
are trying to preserve animal species Why01:12:46
in the art of this don’t do it Well,01:12:49
let’s conduct an experiment,01:12:51
take the most famous one01:12:53
today, you feel the melody, once before01:12:56
the revolution we had a01:12:58
circus melody, and now Pavel Vasilyevich01:13:02
Rudakov, known to the public from the last01:13:05
century,01:13:06
found these notes and tried to remake01:13:10
them into ditties, he succeeded so much that01:13:13
now throughout the Russian-speaking world they01:13:15
recognize it and when it sounds they say about01:13:19
now they will bake ditties and no one, by01:13:22
the way, switches to another channel01:13:26
Oh how it attracts Let this melody01:13:29
sound please01:13:34
[music]01:13:49
[music] my01:13:57
wife is trying to demand a new fur coat I01:14:02
sent her to Gazprom01:14:09
[ music]01:14:14
main with the repertoire I wasn’t mistaken 201:14:18
rubles they give a hundred for a song to01:14:20
shut up01:14:23
[music]01:14:29
good Male friendship loyalty and01:14:33
devotion everything happens between friends01:14:35
but not pregnancy01:14:39
[music]01:14:45
once Sasha sucked dry on the highway01:14:55
[music]01:15:01
past her mother-in-law’s bed I’m not kidding I don’t go01:15:06
under a blanket, I’ll lie down in my boots01:15:09
[music]01:15:18
I tell my friend Lyus I’m dead01:15:28
[music]01:15:33
I went out in the morning the stars are melting Above the village coffins are01:15:37
flying low, something seems to be visible in01:15:40
bad weather01:15:44
[music]01:15:49
on Serduchka on a dove once a maniac01:15:53
attacked Put his hand in under her skirt and a stutterer01:15:56
immediately began01:15:58
[music]01:16:05
that’s all dear viewer I tried my best01:16:09
Well, what’s wrong Sorry, applaud,01:16:12
I understand01:16:14
[applause]01:16:21
[applause]01:16:28
here you go, a genre doomed to success01:16:33
Well, since such fun has gone on01:16:40
Let’s remember that this is an original01:16:42
folk genre So let there be a01:16:46
folk accompaniment let’s complicate01:16:49
the experiment But in order for it to01:16:52
look modern so that young people don’t01:16:55
grumble we are fast this melody in the courtyards01:17:00
now the rhythm has changed01:17:03
Let’s try01:17:07
I was before like a candle warmed like01:17:10
Ilyich’s lamps now slightly blinking01:17:12
energy saving01:17:17
like my wife bought the fur coat became harmful, became01:17:20
rough, everything from the mink, that is, a scandal, the01:17:22
animal suffered from rabies01:17:26
at night, the granddaughter unexpectedly came to the grandmother in01:17:29
torn jeans in the morning, everything was01:17:31
fine on the pants, 103 patches had01:17:36
already hit us with a copper basin. How much in01:17:39
vain and now he speaks Chinese without01:17:42
dictionaries in the meadows01:17:55
New Year's Eve01:18:05
[music]01:18:12
[music]01:18:21
[music]01:18:24
somehow in the Duma they suggested01:18:27
cutting off the hands of a thief; the deputies were against it. Why01:18:30
press the buttons01:18:33
once the ditties caught your fancy? They laughed. Here01:18:37
and there, it means we sang ditties not for01:18:39
aliens01:18:45
[applause]01:18:51
[applause]01:19:01
[music ]01:19:06
from the Elena Vorobey Theater01:19:09
Elena Vorobey congratulates the hero of the day01:19:13
[applause]01:19:17
[music]01:19:19
[applause]01:19:22
[music]01:19:25
[applause]01:19:26
[music]01:19:42
I honestly don’t know,01:19:46
cool archie,01:19:49
you’re the same as me in the sense that you found your image01:19:58
[music]01:20:10
[music]01:20:26
[ music]01:20:34
[music]01:21:07
[applause]01:21:08
[music]01:21:11
singer Natalie and her01:21:14
beloved are few01:21:16
[music] right now01:21:19
there are few normal men where can you become01:21:23
my love01:21:26
Superman, it’s impossible to find01:21:30
Mikhailov married01:21:32
[music]01:21:40
me again you’re such a wizard01:21:50
[applause]01:21:51
Oh God, what rhinestones,01:21:55
take your hands away at night01:21:58
[music]01:22:07
You're Johnny Depp and splashes You're even better and01:22:12
maybe Igor Krutoy is a hundred times cooler And you01:22:16
do such things with your hands, you sing01:22:20
and even embroider Wow Oh God, what rhinestones,01:22:28
take your hands away,01:22:30
infection01:22:32
ideas bought by my daughter, now I'll hit you01:22:38
and period01:22:41
I have long dreamed of asking you at what01:22:44
price01:22:45
[music]01:22:59
[applause] of the01:23:10
Russian stage Stas01:23:19
Ai Hello girls,01:23:22
divorced women from all of you01:23:30
Dasha Masha Vera01:23:33
it’s me, I don’t understand01:23:45
[music]01:23:52
people honestly don’t have a place next01:23:58
to me01:23:59
Look how similar you and I are You,01:24:04
too, we01:24:07
can't beat you01:24:10
[music]01:24:15
where to go home01:24:19
[music]01:24:30
[applause]01:24:32
[music]01:24:34
[applause]01:24:41
between What does that have to do with01:24:47
Zhenya hello01:24:49
Applause I've just come from the New Wave01:24:54
to honestly say there All the old stuff01:25:02
[music ]01:25:17
met a cool guy01:25:20
but on a rocky seashore01:25:25
I’m a fan says your01:25:28
oldest I01:25:32
can’t01:25:34
but I was embarrassed01:25:36
[music]01:25:45
I love your jokes Well yours He’s your01:25:49
Petrosyan01:25:56
[music]01:26:16
[music] a01:26:24
real fan01:26:29
[music] [applause]01:26:33
beautiful images say that healthy01:26:36
laughter has a great effect on success, this01:26:42
is your secret01:26:44
because you are in a hurry, you are such a great sense of01:26:49
humor, you are a big player on stage01:26:59
[music]01:27:01
[applause]01:27:05
joy01:27:07
[applause]01:27:10
performance [01:27:14
applause]01:27:22
[music] [applause]01:27:26
and the most devoted friends01:27:29
in today hall, your friends01:27:31
[applause]01:27:32
[music]01:27:41
[applause]01:27:44
another birth01:27:48
[music]01:27:54
[applause]01:27:57
[music]01:28:03
[applause]01:28:05
[music]01:28:25
anniversary01:28:26
[applause]01:28:32
I thank you for this amazing01:28:35
evening Thank you, I will say briefly I serve the01:28:39
Russian audience01:28:41
[applause]01:28:55
[music]01:29:02
[applause]01:29:03
[music]01:29:08
[applause]01:29:14
[music]01:29:19
everyone Everyone who was with us that evening01:29:23
gave us a good mood, entertained us and01:29:26
joked, and also the white one said01:29:30
[music]01:29:35
jokes what is everything everything everything always beats01:29:40
itself goodbye Can we say goodbye01:29:43
dear viewer01:29:44
[music]Description:
"70 лет уже не в обед". Вечер второй (2015) Оформите подписку канала - https://www.youtube.com/user/PetrosyanLive?sub_confirmation=1 Плэйлист Большой бенефис - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3v1go9lDgZYkA_PKFKFo561 Плэйлист Большой бенефис: Миниатюры - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3sPYnzSGFsxZARsTekL9G4X Плэйлист "Страсти-мордасти" - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3tu85NzlzieiTl7JeCOLTVD Плэйлист Дураки мы все - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3sFMQcDbh1eysWs6mzxqxdE
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