Download "Вадим Галыгин. Анекдоты"
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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
[music]00:00:08
two children in pain and00:00:10
well, Maliki, two boys are arguing,00:00:13
a man is walking, he has a huge belly, this is what00:00:15
it means, this is the conversation between them 1 2 GB00:00:20
you look, look, what do you think, what00:00:22
is going on about whom year I mean that he has00:00:25
a bomb here and that let's blow up the00:00:28
dangerous wick of a rose, a guy comes, he00:00:38
signed up, it means he wants to00:00:42
become a bass player at a music school, and the first lesson00:00:43
the teacher says, so cook00:00:45
this string, it's mi-mi-mi, and like that, pulling00:00:49
bam bam bam bam bam bam this grid, well, all00:00:52
those tasks are00:00:53
necessary please, let's00:00:56
continue with this, but he came for a real lesson00:01:00
ingrid, well, he's00:01:06
bam bam bam bam bum boom, well done with the notes, look, this is the string, this is the note A, let's bam bam bam bam bam bam00:01:09
let's pull bom-bom-bom bom-bom-bom-bom00:01:12
bom- boom-bom, but you have a homework assignment, you00:01:13
pull it, it means it’s Natalya,00:01:16
but time is passing, he’s gone, he’s not there, they haven’t00:01:20
found classes yet, not in a week, not00:01:23
in a month, after about a couple of months,00:01:24
this teacher at the market00:01:27
bought some vegetables there, looking at tomatoes from his00:01:29
hands this guy, he’s coming up,00:01:31
listen, where have you gone, he’s on fire,00:01:34
hello Nikolai Petrovich,00:01:35
ringing, there’s absolutely no time to record in the00:01:38
studio, touring, I just00:01:45
didn’t say that I’m sorry, kind of a corporate party,00:01:49
I didn’t understand the one when00:01:58
Kuzmich says, you brought such good manure00:02:00
to the village yesterday to destroy such a00:02:02
good red, well of course we don’t carry it00:02:06
[music]00:02:08
in the next world they meet, it means00:02:11
in Zavalinka, a00:02:12
Russian Georgian and an Armenian, so they00:02:15
started getting acquainted and asking each other00:02:17
about how the Russians got here grid00:02:20
I ended up where because of the car because00:02:22
I bought our cheapest Lada the00:02:26
simplest configuration,00:02:27
well, what the heck, I was driving one day and it00:02:30
was dripping with such rain on the slippery asphalt, and since it hit00:02:33
my brakes, but they are stupidly missing, I want00:02:36
a tree, here I am, that’s all, well, no, but you’re a00:02:41
Georgian, he says, and I, too, because of the car,00:02:44
you understand more than ever I don’t think anyone00:02:47
should, so I thought I’ll save, I’ll never00:02:49
lie, tires will never, and suddenly an avalanche came down00:02:52
if they removed it but not completely, and I’m00:02:55
on a mountain pass, well, I was driving along a00:02:57
serpentine road and my wheels hit00:03:00
us with summer tires, just like that, here’s00:03:03
the road there I but why did00:03:05
you get here behind the car, the00:03:08
Armenian sits like that and says, well,00:03:10
when you did half the work, the comb00:03:12
got here for the army Ingrid, I, too, got to the car00:03:15
Greta, how it was before how it was bought00:03:18
bands dogs hunger, a man runs up in the00:03:28
kitchen and his mother-in-law is burning Natalya Petrovna00:03:30
where the pills were lying on the table there on the00:03:33
table on the edge he says I don’t know00:03:37
he says where where are the pills that you00:03:40
were lying here hangar yes I don’t know I didn’t take00:03:43
the pills maybe I mixed up00:03:45
the random one I drank I00:03:46
drank by chance they teach you to go Natalya00:03:49
Petrovna and these are yours daughter00:03:53
[applause]00:03:56
it means that one big major00:03:58
international airline is hiring a00:04:01
pilot, so the German comes first,00:04:07
but what German is the American and Russian00:04:09
applying for this job, the German comes first00:04:12
and is on fire, I want to00:04:15
receive 3000 euros, well, the selection committee has00:04:20
a heart for technical services, everyone there is the00:04:22
director Greta00:04:23
why is such a price tag on fire, well, a thousand for00:04:26
me, thousands for my wife, just in case, thousands for00:04:30
insurance, here are three thousand and the00:04:31
rhythm is good, the American comes to play,00:04:35
I want 6,000 to receive 6,000 dollars,00:04:39
which means 2,000 for me, 2,000 for my wife and 2,000 for00:04:44
insurance, well, the registry office looked at each other and00:04:47
looked at a Russian coming in and burning00:04:51
how long are you do you want to get paid for flying, he00:04:54
says the opinion, I was in general, like00:04:56
flying, or I’m00:04:57
afraid, I’m very afraid to fly, but I want 900000:05:01
gnawing how so what is this for what is it that they00:05:04
called you very much, we are looking for keloto and as if00:05:08
Grigoriev, I understand everything 9000 says well,00:05:11
how and why he says but00:05:13
3000 I have three thousand for you00:05:16
Ugarit will fly who will, well, how about them00:05:19
for three rubles the creator00:05:22
[applause]00:05:26
[music]00:05:28
two friends meet for a long time,00:05:30
they haven’t seen each other for a long time, one says well, what should be00:05:32
noted and the second type of opinion is on fire I don’t00:05:34
drink you’re the only one so why00:05:36
win back remember the past years old, he says,00:05:39
well, I didn’t remember, it means00:05:44
two men are talking in the fields of creed but00:05:47
you, well, somehow it turns out, well,00:05:50
what will it be like for two weeks already, we’ve been relaxing here on the00:05:52
sea, it’s been shining all the time, you’ve had so many00:05:53
girls getting to know you, in general,00:05:55
I can’t do anything, well, just00:05:57
how do you do it, he says very00:05:58
simply, very simply, it means that you00:06:00
approach,00:06:01
approach the girls on the beach, so you chose, you00:06:04
just approach and immediately start00:06:06
twisting her nipple like that, three at once,00:06:10
she is immediately reimbursed, the man will tell you00:06:12
what you are doing and you know that’s how the Dutch are00:06:14
more likely I catch the voice of America00:06:16
but to the right they appreciate the humor of the hammer could be00:06:19
something interesting the voice of America means and00:06:21
this about the ball you are probably listening to00:06:23
such music there tra-ta-ta harm to everyone00:06:25
thank you for keeping the cloak open I opened00:06:27
new horizons it means he00:06:30
came to the beach and chose such a girl with with00:06:33
such tits, it means he approached her and00:06:34
the race above grabbed hold and let's how to twist he is a00:06:38
man, what are you doing, he is catching the voice of00:06:41
America, these cowards are pulling from such00:06:44
an antenna, you can’t even catch a lighthouse, an00:06:49
old Soviet00:06:52
man ends up in the emergency room, the doctor is sitting00:06:54
about fishing on his head,00:06:56
blood is flowing fills out the form,00:07:00
last name is on, says Petrov00:07:01
says he’s married and he’s no no no00:07:03
car accident cafe a young guy00:07:13
looked at the girl for a long time, he really00:07:14
liked her, he00:07:15
was shy, she’s so damn good00:07:19
and just think no, they’ll call him either00:07:21
now or never,00:07:23
absolutely shy, approached00:07:25
and said and can I sit down next to you?00:07:28
She perked up and at this whole cafe,00:07:31
yes, I won’t sleep with you, the00:07:34
visitors turned around all the time, someone there00:07:37
whistled that he blushed madly,00:07:39
my hands were shaking, he was growing00:07:42
with his head bowed, he went and hid in the00:07:45
farthest the corner of this cafe sits, oh00:07:47
my God, the world just collapsed everywhere00:07:51
for him,00:07:52
well, that girl understands that she has00:07:55
gone too far, which00:07:56
means after some time she comes back and00:07:59
sits down with him, Igor is a young00:08:01
man, of course you will forgive me for being so00:08:03
harsh, it’s just that you know, I’m now writing a00:08:05
dissertation on the topic of harshness reaction to00:08:10
things that are unacceptable in life and maintaining, as it were, personal00:08:13
space in environmental conditions,00:08:16
so forgive me, yes, of course you can00:08:18
meet me, he gets up here and00:08:20
shouts at the whole restaurant at the whole cafe, 30000:08:23
bucks00:08:28
[music]00:08:31
asks the doctor, the patient and the doctor00:08:34
tell me please, how are my tests, he00:08:37
says, but you can only have pancakes and00:08:41
pita bread, why is it burning, well, this is the00:08:44
only thing that will fit under the door00:08:49
[applause]00:08:50
[music]00:08:51
two veterans are sitting on a bench 1 200:08:54
says Vanya says, do you remember at00:08:58
the front they gave us pills to keep women away00:09:00
I wanted to say yes, I remember it will be00:09:02
in my opinion they started to act and I00:09:07
understood the joke when the fishermen are fishing and suddenly00:09:11
such a girl throws her bike, she runs00:09:14
just as she goes, she takes off her dress in general, all the00:09:16
rest of her clothes, she runs in, enters he has a00:09:19
new piercing and one fisherman will send you, dear,00:09:23
you are a coward of this day I’m dragging the whale00:09:25
fish takes hemp again, the delta pleases00:09:33
[music] the00:09:35
pear hangs, you can’t eat what the00:09:38
riddle says00:09:41
[applause]00:09:43
such an old bear wakes up00:09:45
after hibernation in a den, once his eyes00:09:50
are opened, such a dry forest has torn his eyes and that00:09:55
until 1 in his mouth the whole world has a hair00:09:58
stuck alive like once I take out this huge Vasina00:10:02
and puts 1 kg of hand 1 of a00:10:07
different color once here yes but on00:10:23
[music]00:10:25
it means he’s a dear rather quickly rather00:10:28
call an ambulance I think I’m having a heart00:10:30
attack she’s grabbing this phone grid and00:10:32
what’s your password for the opinion don’t00:10:34
wait seems to have let go answered all sorts of things00:10:38
[music]Description:
Анекдоты от ведущего Анекдот Шоу - Вадима Галыгина. Нравятся наши тематические подборки? Пишите в комментариях свое мнение! Подписывайтесь на наши социальные сети: Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser ВКонтакте: https://vk.com/vk.anekdot.show Одноклассники: https://ok.ru/anekdotshow
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