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21 января Международный День Обьятий

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Нас чекає бібліотека (+) з текстом, муз Анни Олєйнікової, сл Наталії Іванової

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Channel: Анна Олєйнікова

детский

онанизм

ахметгареева

л.н

00:00:07

hello everyone, today we will talk about the

00:00:10

request with which parents and their

00:00:13

children come for consultation, this topic,

00:00:15

child masturbation and masturbation in adults, is

00:00:19

very frightening when a child

00:00:22

begins to be interested in the gender of

00:00:24

his sexual structure, when a child

00:00:30

begins to explore himself and discovers

00:00:32

that from the fact that he touches a certain

00:00:36

part of the body he gets pleasure at the

00:00:40

normal age from two three to five

00:00:42

six years children go through the stage of development and

00:00:44

formation of their gender identity

00:00:46

or their sexual self during this period they

00:00:50

can look with interest at

00:00:52

naked children other themselves naked

00:00:55

in the mirror of adults if they see and for them The

00:00:59

feeling of their own body becomes very interesting,

00:01:00

children often play with their

00:01:04

genitals, they try them, guys,

00:01:07

scratching you, in this way they show

00:01:10

cognitive interest and it’s not about sex,

00:01:13

it’s not about sexuality, adults don’t

00:01:18

get scared when children get to know their

00:01:21

hands, when children

00:01:24

even lick their feet when a child aged

00:01:27

9-10 months gets to his

00:01:29

genitals and begins to touch and

00:01:32

adults can react extremely

00:01:34

negatively, but then if it’s just about

00:01:37

awareness of the boundaries of his body where am I then

00:01:40

at the age of two or three years this is some kind of

00:01:42

right feeling and study of his

00:01:45

detailed body, what I am, that is, these are the

00:01:50

sensations that the child receives as a

00:01:54

result of exploring his body as a

00:01:56

result of the fact that he touches his

00:01:57

genitals,

00:01:59

they are normal, that is, that the child

00:02:01

does this is also absolutely normal,

00:02:03

but if those sensations that the child

00:02:07

experiences at the same time, the child becomes

00:02:09

for him dominant source of

00:02:12

positive emotions,

00:02:13

then he begins to resort to stimulation of the

00:02:16

genital organs; constant

00:02:19

masturbation arises as a result; that is, look, in

00:02:22

order for masturbation to become a problem, it

00:02:25

is necessary that the child has little

00:02:27

source of positive emotions, or it is necessary

00:02:30

that the child in me constantly experiences

00:02:33

some kind of strong stress lives in this

00:02:35

stress and she did not forget that the way to escape

00:02:38

from it was to get at least some

00:02:40

pleasure because in the external environment there is

00:02:42

very little such pleasure. The methods of

00:02:46

child masturbation are extremely

00:02:48

varied. Children can give themselves

00:02:51

pleasure with their hands with

00:02:52

toys pressed between their legs with a blanket,

00:02:56

especially when they go to bed there they

00:02:59

begin to squirm. rubbing against a blanket

00:03:02

they can get pleasure from

00:03:06

rubbing some kind of underwear

00:03:08

and furniture with a strong shower jet when these are

00:03:12

older children 5-6 years old and they are already

00:03:14

washing themselves they can perform these

00:03:18

actions from the manufacturer parents are a very

00:03:20

frightening impression painful

00:03:23

but in themselves these actions in no

00:03:26

way indicate the

00:03:28

child’s promiscuity, not that this is some kind of

00:03:30

disease,

00:03:31

parents need to try to understand

00:03:34

what exactly in the child’s life forces him to

00:03:37

engage in masturbation, masturbation

00:03:39

at this age is purely as a

00:03:42

symptom, it means that the child has

00:03:45

severe discomfort somewhere and he tries to

00:03:49

help himself in this way, in this way

00:03:51

he sublimates, this is what he gets and receives

00:03:54

positive emotions. It is important to remember that

00:03:58

the child on his own cannot be

00:04:00

responsible for what is happening, he

00:04:01

needs help, they are in prohibitions and

00:04:04

punishments, and if you are just rude to him, the

00:04:07

parent will rudely scold the child as

00:04:09

usually happens, the

00:04:10

child is frightened or scolded but forbids

00:04:14

touching the genitals,

00:04:16

we cannot say that you will

00:04:18

touch it, it will fall off, it’s generally very

00:04:20

scary and frightening, the fear of castration, as we

00:04:23

remember, affects the development especially of

00:04:29

boys, then this most often

00:04:32

causes the exact opposite effect

00:04:34

a child can his already

00:04:37

discomfort somewhere, here you also intensified it, and

00:04:39

he has no other ways to get

00:04:42

positive emotions and masturbation

00:04:45

becomes even more intensely obsessive,

00:04:48

the child may strive with all his might to

00:04:50

find out why everything can be touched, the nose can be touched, the hand can be used, the

00:04:53

leg can be lower,

00:04:56

although this is not possible in the same way, my skin color is the same,

00:04:59

that is, mine, why is

00:05:01

this particular piece of my body

00:05:03

some kind of forbidden colored very

00:05:06

negatively, so negatively that mom

00:05:09

or dad give such a strong

00:05:11

emotional reaction that it’s scary, it

00:05:15

can cause

00:05:16

further problems in the sexual sphere

00:05:18

because when people become

00:05:21

adults, they have sex, a child is

00:05:24

worth such a

00:05:25

former child to an adult, there can be a

00:05:27

very strong ban on the inadmissibility of

00:05:30

these actions, they are punished, that is, to punish, to

00:05:33

scold, especially to beat a child

00:05:35

for masturbation, in no case, then

00:05:39

masturbation can intensify or become

00:05:42

very secretive and intimidated he will be so

00:05:45

scared and will do it anyway,

00:05:49

punishment almost never

00:05:52

helps to get rid of this habit and

00:05:55

thus the behavior of the parents only

00:05:57

reinforces the desire for masturbation but

00:06:00

makes these pleasures that he

00:06:02

experiences also negatively colored and

00:06:05

turn out to be a vicious circle of

00:06:06

neuroticism I experience pleasure I feel

00:06:09

ashamed for this and my non-

00:06:12

neurotic symptoms are intensifying,

00:06:16

there is a doctor, hygienic

00:06:19

psychological reasons for child

00:06:21

masturbation, a doctor, hygienic, some kind of

00:06:24

tightness

00:06:26

between the clothes should be loose,

00:06:28

panties should be the right size, don’t pinch

00:06:31

anywhere, don’t put pressure, not boys and girls,

00:06:34

narrowing of the foreskin in a boy then

00:06:37

a boy feels itching and discomfort

00:06:41

from the fact that he scratches and tugs and he

00:06:43

feels pleasure, this is about

00:06:45

physiological reasons, girls can

00:06:49

have various inflammatory phenomena,

00:06:52

vaginal discharge and then and

00:06:55

naturally it is necessary to show a doctor and

00:06:57

not scold her for touching herself,

00:07:00

worms can also provoke itching and

00:07:03

thus cause a desire to scratch and

00:07:06

from this, too, the child gets

00:07:07

pleasure in general, any

00:07:11

inflammatory phenomena there also in the

00:07:13

genital area, they also cause itching and a

00:07:16

desire to scratch there, also in the comet,

00:07:22

hygienic reasons include spanking,

00:07:24

spanking and spanking when the rush of blood in the

00:07:27

genital area stimulates

00:07:29

excitement let this is excitement,

00:07:32

excitement, this is a lot of emotions, even if

00:07:34

these emotions were negative, but the child is

00:07:37

so used to receiving

00:07:39

a release in such a way that he

00:07:42

gives this release to himself by

00:07:44

touching there, touching his

00:07:45

genitals because you

00:07:47

once secured this release yourself before force

00:07:52

feeding also provokes masturbation

00:07:55

since the genital area Victor is not

00:07:57

connected with the mucous membranes of the mouth and lips

00:07:59

force feeding threatens the activity of 2

00:08:02

zones involuntarily stimulating the first it

00:08:05

turns out that when a child is force-fed there is a

00:08:07

very high risk that

00:08:09

he will have masturbation what to recommend to

00:08:14

parents when they come to you with the

00:08:17

problem of childhood masturbation First of

00:08:19

all, you should ask whether you have seen his

00:08:21

doctor, whether the

00:08:22

child has been examined by a doctor, are there any

00:08:24

physiological reasons causing

00:08:26

masturbation, does the child have worms, are there

00:08:30

any inflammatory diseases, is it

00:08:32

just inflammation, is the comfortable line of his

00:08:35

clothes rubbing, is the

00:08:36

seam on his jeans rubbing, is it too

00:08:39

tight? he has panties and so on

00:08:41

because in children we first of all

00:08:43

exclude medical reasons since

00:08:46

we are not a specialist in this field

00:08:47

here, first we send to a

00:08:50

doctor,

00:08:51

let it be just a pediatrician who

00:08:53

examines the child,

00:08:55

what are the psychological reasons for child

00:08:58

masturbation as we have already said in the

00:09:01

first place turn, a situation of emotional

00:09:03

discomfort, boredom, loneliness,

00:09:06

abandonment, lack of attention from

00:09:08

loved ones and significant people,

00:09:10

some kind of emotional

00:09:14

actions that harm the child, here

00:09:18

we include situations of sexual violence

00:09:21

when the child has been or is being subjected to

00:09:24

sexual violence and

00:09:26

as a result of this, he can also

00:09:29

constantly touch, that is, these are those

00:09:31

situations very dangerous for the life of the child

00:09:33

which must be excluded first of

00:09:35

all, also the reason may be a

00:09:37

situation of not well-being in the family when

00:09:41

the child is either neglected or there are

00:09:43

constant conflicts between the parents and the

00:09:47

child and, just like in the first case, he

00:09:49

experiences emotional discomfort, he

00:09:51

needs to somehow save himself.

00:09:53

emotional coldness of parents

00:09:57

gepai peka

00:09:58

or overprotection in both cases is about

00:10:02

violation of the child’s boundaries and he also

00:10:04

needs either something of his own or at

00:10:06

least stimulate himself somehow when there

00:10:08

is no stroking from the external environment

00:10:11

when he does not receive

00:10:12

tactile contact; tactile contact is vital for him

00:10:15

contact he takes it with him

00:10:17

as best he can because from the fact that the

00:10:21

child touches his hand and tugs and

00:10:23

he is unlikely to be pleased if the boy

00:10:25

tugs at his penis he experiences

00:10:27

pleasant sensations and at least somehow

00:10:30

gives himself some bodily sensations and

00:10:32

this could be imitation of older children

00:10:36

when he saw that they were doing it, they

00:10:38

see that they were doing it especially

00:10:40

teenagers and younger brother, and

00:10:45

it could be imitation of parents in

00:10:48

some extremely difficult unfavorable

00:10:50

situations when parents do not have

00:10:53

sex in the presence of children, children can

00:10:55

imitate you in the same way or parents

00:10:58

engage in masturbation in the presence of

00:11:00

children, and also one of the reasons given by

00:11:03

some sources is

00:11:05

sexual dissatisfaction in the

00:11:07

relationship between parents when a

00:11:10

child leaks something like this too,

00:11:13

or when he did not

00:11:14

witness the masturbation of one of the

00:11:16

parents, he gets infected from the parents and

00:11:20

does the same thing we can

00:11:23

recommend to parents in the case of masturbation

00:11:27

when they turn to the first for this problem; they

00:11:30

do not scold for this; they do not

00:11:35

react violently; violent punishment, as we

00:11:39

said at the very beginning; it only

00:11:42

reinforces this process; it leads to the

00:11:45

emergence of even more problems;

00:11:47

that is, imagine if

00:11:49

the parent does not knew did not interfere

00:11:54

she can go with me if the situation in the

00:11:57

family is normalized than and what if the child

00:12:01

found out in the world the parent asked found out

00:12:04

reacted very violently punished strongly

00:12:07

scolded the situation may worsen

00:12:10

such a paradoxical remember that masturbation

00:12:15

is not about the depravity of the child but at the

00:12:19

same time it is important not encourage not

00:12:21

to stir up interest when your three-year-old

00:12:25

pulls down his panties and starts touching himself in front of

00:12:28

everyone, we don’t react to this with laughter,

00:12:31

parents shouldn’t somehow be happy,

00:12:33

smile, this is something that should be distracted,

00:12:37

I remember we convey to parents that studying

00:12:40

your body is the norm, what happens is the

00:12:44

norm, there are cultures where it’s normal to walk

00:12:47

naked

00:12:49

or where it’s normal to walk naked

00:12:51

upper body up to with a torso and there

00:12:55

women walk with a naked torso this is the

00:12:57

norm for us for our culture is not the

00:12:59

norm and we it is important for us to convey to the child

00:13:04

cultural norms that there are parts of the body that are

00:13:08

very personal there are things that are very personal and

00:13:12

you can’t do this, show these parts of the body to

00:13:15

everyone,

00:13:16

and you can’t do this in front of everyone, just

00:13:20

like when you go to the toilet, and when

00:13:24

you grow up, you can mom, dad close the

00:13:26

door, you will also close the door, and

00:13:29

there are parts of the body that we hide under

00:13:31

panties, it is important for the child to form

00:13:35

concepts his body that the body belongs to

00:13:39

him and no one has the right to touch him

00:13:43

without his permission, especially no one

00:13:46

has the right to touch I will define his

00:13:48

body parts defined without his permission, he

00:13:51

must be taught to loudly declare that

00:13:54

he does not like something, that is, the more

00:13:57

formed he is his concept of his body

00:14:00

about the more she has formed the concept of

00:14:02

mine is someone else’s, the easier it will be for him to assimilate what

00:14:06

is what cannot be shown to

00:14:09

strangers it is necessary to call the

00:14:13

genitals by their proper names no pies

00:14:16

bells cockerels boys penis

00:14:20

girls vulva or vagina whichever is

00:14:22

more comfortable for you and

00:14:24

this is what it is naming genital organs by

00:14:27

their proper names is also about the

00:14:29

prevention of sexual abuse of children,

00:14:32

about the prevention of pedophilia, because

00:14:36

when a child is called a

00:14:38

girl, they call her a floating organ, a

00:14:40

pie, and at the same time, she is a pie.

00:14:45

and it is

00:14:49

very difficult for her to convey to the pastor her parents

00:14:51

or any other close people that

00:14:54

someone touched her because

00:14:57

the pie and pie are not clear

00:15:00

and of course for the parent himself this topic

00:15:04

should not be scary or

00:15:06

painful if you discovered that your

00:15:09

child is engaged in masturbation and you

00:15:12

so scared and confused, go to a

00:15:14

specialist yourself without a child, you need

00:15:17

to understand why this scares you so much

00:15:20

because the more anxiety you bring to

00:15:23

this topic

00:15:24

when talking with a child, and in

00:15:27

situations where he will masturbate

00:15:29

when we need to distract him, the more

00:15:31

difficult it will be further working with this

00:15:34

topic is not scary at a certain

00:15:37

age it is absolutely normal and

00:15:39

most children go through this stage and

00:15:42

most adults have sex and

00:15:45

this is also normal this is not a topic

00:15:48

that is discussed sitting down but nevertheless

00:15:52

this is what everyone does it is

00:15:56

necessary not to fixate on

00:15:59

situations masturbation, distract, switch

00:16:02

attention, offer some pleasant

00:16:04

activities, but under no circumstances hit

00:16:08

your hands, don’t scream, don’t make

00:16:11

scary eyes, don’t start crying, don’t

00:16:14

start laughing, distract, switch,

00:16:17

let’s go, let’s draw with you, let’s go with

00:16:19

you, let’s play with the ball,

00:16:22

verse I -what came up with it, the child

00:16:25

just needs to switch to distract without

00:16:28

frightening without scolding most children

00:16:33

go through this like this

00:16:34

and they can also imitate

00:16:36

sexual intercourse

00:16:37

if they saw somewhere in a movie

00:16:40

by accident if they suddenly saw mom

00:16:44

and dad having sex by accident they

00:16:47

can in they can play such games, they can

00:16:50

play doctor, undress each other,

00:16:53

touch them, give injections in the butt,

00:16:55

moreover, at a certain age they have, that

00:16:58

is, the poop 1000 age when

00:17:00

they are very happy, laughs at these

00:17:02

words, this topic becomes so funny,

00:17:05

parents should not be scared here,

00:17:08

calmly explain what is words

00:17:10

that we have

00:17:12

mini are pronounced calmly somehow

00:17:14

switch attention or simply not

00:17:16

react to these jokes

00:17:18

this age will pass games of doctors games of

00:17:21

sexual intercourse

00:17:22

they are also not about perversity they, in

00:17:24

principle, are not about sex and this is just about a

00:17:27

game the same game as the rest, when

00:17:30

they play teacher, when they

00:17:34

play cat and dog, they can

00:17:36

imitate this sexual intercourse in the same way

00:17:38

and

00:17:39

the child just needs to switch these

00:17:41

games, they will pass on their own, but if

00:17:45

these games are intrusive,

00:17:48

if they and the child constantly play

00:17:51

only this is if he demonstrates a very

00:17:53

great interest in the genitals,

00:17:55

regularly this is the only area of his

00:17:58

interests and there is overly

00:18:01

sexualized behavior, you still

00:18:03

need to see if there is any sexual

00:18:07

violence against the child,

00:18:08

especially this applies to children from

00:18:11

whom Lina was identified good luck, that

00:18:13

is, this is about adopted children children

00:18:15

because many of them experienced

00:18:17

sexual violence,

00:18:19

possibly in their own families, and in the end

00:18:24

I repeat once again,

00:18:25

child masturbation becomes

00:18:27

obsessive when there are situations of

00:18:30

psychological distress and then

00:18:34

naturally the work is necessary not so much in the

00:18:36

masturbation situation because we are in

00:18:39

situations of masturbation masturbation obsessively,

00:18:42

it will go away on its own yes, the parent

00:18:45

will react correctly; the work of the

00:18:47

family system is necessary; this is again a

00:18:51

diagnosis of the dysfunction of the family system;

00:18:55

work with parents to establish

00:18:58

relationships with the child; to

00:19:00

form the correct attitudes; this is

00:19:04

all about children of preschool and primary

00:19:07

school age; if we talk about

00:19:10

masturbation among teenagers, then it is important for

00:19:13

parents to learn how to respect their

00:19:15

personal space of

00:19:19

adolescence, the formation of the

00:19:21

next stage of the formation of sexuality takes place

00:19:23

and then we

00:19:25

turbo c study of our body but

00:19:27

children become normal, there are

00:19:29

hormonal changes, they can

00:19:31

experience strong arousal and

00:19:33

most teenagers masturbate

00:19:35

and the same thing here if masturbation

00:19:38

becomes obsessive

00:19:40

and it is the only

00:19:43

way to get pleasure. then here it is

00:19:45

not masturbation that should be prohibited for the

00:19:49

social adaptation of a teenager, and if

00:19:53

his life is filled with various

00:19:55

events, if his life is completely

00:19:57

balanced, he has a way of

00:19:59

interacting with peers,

00:20:00

pleasures of cognitive activity,

00:20:03

some entertainment, he simply

00:20:05

will not have time for compulsive masturbation

00:20:07

if he has problems in

00:20:10

relationships with peers, if

00:20:12

there are serious problems in

00:20:14

relationships with parents, he does not

00:20:16

receive any emotional warmth,

00:20:19

if his life is not filled with anything, then

00:20:22

there is a risk that the only

00:20:25

pleasure he will receive is the

00:20:26

pleasure of masturbation,

00:20:28

but in other cases, as I already said,

00:20:30

yes just ask him to lock the door

00:20:32

when he does this and not react

00:20:35

violently and give him the opportunity to grow up

00:20:39

with this we conclude our lecture

00:20:42

thank you all

00:20:43

[music]

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Модуль - Консультирование детей и подростков.

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Why does my computer freeze when loading a "Детский онанизм. Ахметгареева Л.Н." video?

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How can I download an audio track (music) to MP3 "Детский онанизм. Ахметгареева Л.Н."?

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