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00:00:14
PHOENIX-FILM and SINEKSTRIM00:00:16
PRESENT00:00:25
A Mikhail LEVITIN film00:00:29
Script
Mikhail LEVITIN
Sergei SKVORTSOV00:00:33
Help!00:00:37
Help!00:02:23
Get up, Petrukha!00:02:26
Enough loafing!00:02:30
Get up!00:02:31
It is 7:22 sharp.00:02:35
Get up, soon there’ll be a jam
at the wash-stand.00:02:37
Production
LUXFILM
Action Film00:02:41
with the participation of
film company “MOSFILM”
Square Zero (Great Britain)00:02:59
Producers
Olga KLIMENKO
Mikhail LEVITIN00:03:04
Executive producer
Alexandr CHALENKO00:03:10
Alexei PANIN00:03:16
Alexei MAKAROV00:03:21
Maria GLAZKOVA00:03:26
Yola SANKO
Tatiana ARNTGOLTZ00:03:31
Olga TUMAIKINA
Maikhail BELENKY00:03:37
Vladimir DOLINSKY
Nodar MGALOBLISHVILI00:03:43
Hey, guys, were it you that I lent
the tape-recorder to yesterday?00:03:48
I’ve asked everybody in the hostel
nobody admits it was he.00:03:50
I can’t remember whom I gave it to.00:03:56
What did you say?00:03:58
It’s in a foreign language.
Don’t drink yourself to death.00:04:02
If you had been sober, you
would have remembered.00:04:04
- So it weren’t you?
- Nope.00:04:08
OK, I’ll keep looking.00:04:11
Good luck!00:04:15
Suppose, Petia, you are recruited
to the Interpol.00:04:17
Director of photography
Maxim SHINKORENKO00:04:19
Who will then ensure law and order
in Reshetov?00:04:21
Production designer
Oleg SMAROVSKY00:04:23
Today a tape-recorder disappeared
and what about tomorrow?00:04:27
Composer Vladimir DAVYDENKO00:04:29
God knows what might happen.
And where’s Petia? No Petia!00:04:32
Petia is eradicating international
delinquency.00:04:37
Vania, get lost, will you.00:04:41
I am off. Today it’s your turn to
do the washing up.00:04:47
WONDERS IN RESHETOV00:04:59
HOSTEL00:05:15
5 rubles, please.00:05:17
Taste them dearest.00:05:20
Cucumbers! Cucumbers!00:05:23
Sourcrout!00:05:26
Cucumbers! Sourcrout!00:05:41
The sales are bad today.00:05:44
What are you waiting for?
Shout, advertise.00:05:51
Spoons, spoons!00:05:54
Spoons!00:05:57
You surprise me, Zina.00:06:00
It is no way to sell.00:06:02
This way you’ll take all
your spoons back.00:06:05
But what will you eat with them?00:06:09
Damn them.00:06:19
Cucumbers, cucumbers!00:06:23
Taste them, boys.00:06:25
Hurry up, my treat!00:06:34
Not with your hands!00:06:39
Use flatware.00:06:42
Have a cake, Petia.00:06:45
Aunt Ania! No way!
I am on duty!00:06:50
My god, so skinny!00:06:54
He should get married at least…00:06:56
They don’t get married today.
They keep waiting for something…00:06:59
probably for fairytale princesses…00:07:02
- Hot cakes!
- Very well.00:07:09
Be so kind as to pay according
to the pricelist.00:07:13
No problem. We are not beggars.00:07:20
Here.00:07:27
- Buying?
- Shopping around.00:07:33
That’s better.00:07:44
Hi there! Hello to the boss.00:07:47
Hello-hello!00:07:49
Change the apron, it looks
unsanitary here.00:07:53
Sure.00:07:55
Mommy. Mommy!00:08:00
Uncle Petia, Uncle Petia!00:08:04
Uncle Petia, in the house next
door, the one that is boarded up,00:08:08
someone is walking and shouting.00:08:11
- What do you mean shouting?
- Loudly.00:08:13
Like he is being slaughtered.00:08:43
It hurts! It hurts so much!00:08:49
What are you doing!00:08:59
Are you hurt?00:09:07
Are you always00:09:09
so silent?00:09:13
Are you all right?00:09:16
Absolutely.00:09:20
You definitely are not in danger,
are you?00:09:36
What is the noise about?00:09:39
- Noise?
- Yes.00:09:42
Oh, the noise! It’s00:09:43
It’s the TV00:09:46
I see. And what are you doing here?00:09:50
- the house is not lived in.
- It is now.00:09:53
I’ll be teaching at your school.00:09:56
So we’ve bought half of this house.00:09:58
Now I see.00:10:06
Well, then…00:10:09
I have things to do.00:10:13
We’ll be moving in shortly as soon
as we find the car.00:10:15
I can help you with the car.00:10:17
- You can?
- A friend of mine drives a truck.00:10:19
We can load, unload, deliver things00:10:22
It is not necessary.00:10:24
Just tell me and I’ll get the car.00:10:27
I feel somehow bad about asking you.00:10:29
Don’t make a fuss.
It’s a piece of cake!00:10:32
- a pleasure, really.
- Oh, I don’t know…00:10:35
No objections are accepted.00:10:37
Just stay here
I won’t be a minute. OK?00:10:38
- What’s your name?
- Petia.00:10:41
I mean, Boyarinov Pyotr Sergeevich.00:10:44
I am a local police officer.00:10:50
I am Vasilisa.00:10:56
Uncle Petia! A stall
is being robbed at the marketplace.00:10:59
Give me a break!00:11:03
Dearest, I can see
you are your usual self.00:11:07
Mind your own business,
Timofei Ivanovich00:11:11
Stop dreaming, no work gets done.00:11:14
No work00:11:16
You could not drive a nail
in the wall for 2 hours!00:11:21
You try holding a hammer
in the paw!00:11:25
No use talking to you.
Only Yadviga understands me.00:11:31
- No,… he won’t work….
- Nobody is asking you.00:11:35
It will all right!00:11:37
- Bet on two bottles?
- On three if you like.00:11:39
No big deal! In the second company
there was…00:11:44
Vania! Vania!00:11:47
I need to talk!00:11:49
Vania, wait, I tell you,
I need to talk.00:11:52
Guys, stop it, can’t you see we
are talking!00:11:55
An acquaintance of mine needs
help with the luggage. Do you hear?00:11:59
Quiet, quiet!00:12:00
- An acquaintance, the luggage..
- Who?00:12:03
Don’t coax me.
Can’t you see, I have work to do?00:12:05
I can see your work. Vania!00:12:10
Three bottles.00:12:13
See this? I bet two.00:13:00
Where’s your dad?00:13:03
- We don’t have a dad.
- That’s good.00:13:06
What’s good about it?00:13:13
47 original literary works00:13:18
In six languages!00:13:21
Not to mention fragmentary mention!00:13:24
Haven’t you read? And this:00:13:26
Whereon a learned cat, in motion 00:13:31
No? No? It’s Pushkin.00:13:36
Never mind.00:13:38
You don’t’ understand
anything at all00:13:42
about literature.00:13:45
OK, kitty.
Go, run around.00:13:48
My family has come. Get away!00:13:50
Get away!00:13:53
It’s our 428th move00:13:56
in the past 3000 years.00:13:59
Wow.00:14:02
Give me the mirror.00:14:06
Is it too heavy?00:14:08
Have you got bricks there?00:14:10
Housekeeping knickknacks.
I’ll help if it is too heavy.00:14:13
- Need help, Vania?
- No, thanks.00:14:15
As you wish.00:14:20
Books00:14:22
A box00:14:25
Take them, quick!00:14:27
- The books go here…
- “Baba Yaga”00:14:40
Take the books.00:14:46
Oh, Vasilisa!00:14:47
Careful, there are valuables.00:14:58
Where do I place it?00:15:00
Let me see, just a moment.00:15:03
Here.00:15:06
Here’s the right place for it.
But please, be careful.00:15:13
Right, thank you. That’s all.00:15:16
Somehow we…
Inna!00:15:18
and now very carefully place
the whatnot on the left.00:15:22
- Give me the red box.
- What red box?00:15:26
Your rose-colored box has already
been taken out.00:15:28
Here it is. Excellent!
Now this way.00:15:32
- The truck is almost empty.
- Almost empty.00:15:35
- Let me help you. Inna!
- OK!00:15:37
Excellent.00:15:39
A usual house.00:15:51
So00:15:54
Now we’ll have neighbors.00:15:56
I saw them carrying
their things in.00:15:59
And you did not.00:16:01
What is there to look at?00:16:06
You are too choosy!00:16:09
You are not comfortable here, you
don’t get enough light there.00:16:13
- Indeed, and the reception is poor.
- You will be hanging here.00:16:19
- The wiring screens.
- Don’t talk nonsense.00:16:23
Why harass me?00:16:31
Just look at her!00:16:34
Barely arrived and it all starts
all over again.00:16:36
- Don’t start!
- Good work!00:16:43
I see. Sorry about Petia. I started
getting used to him.00:16:52
- Have you found it?
- What?00:16:57
- The tape-recorder.
- I have.00:17:03
Guys, haven’t you seen my guitar?00:17:07
OK, I’ll keep looking.00:17:17
Their grandma is quite something.00:17:23
She’ll make a hell
of a mother-in-law.00:17:40
Well, Timofei Ivanovich, girls!00:17:42
Welcome!00:17:46
- To the new household.
- Bride and fiancé.00:17:49
Stop it!00:17:51
The deal is the same.00:17:54
We’ll live quietly
without attracting attention00:17:58
and arousing unnecessary interest.00:18:00
But some one seems to have already
attracted and aroused.00:18:03
Inna! You know what I mean.00:18:07
Seriously, it’s a new,
unfamiliar town.00:18:10
So don’t do anything rush.00:18:15
I‘d like to stay here long.00:18:18
I think I can guess why.00:18:21
I propose to consider the
official part concluded.00:18:24
What have we actually got
on the menu today?00:18:28
Nothing special, actually.00:18:32
Well-well, it’s a housewarming
party after all.00:18:41
We’ve just talked about it.00:18:43
But just this once.00:18:53
Don’t give so much to the child00:18:54
That’s all right, it’s cranberry!
Pretty weak.00:18:58
Incidentally, I am only
472 years younger!00:19:01
A baby! Drinking so much,
this baby!00:19:08
Actually I was the first
to see her, Vania.00:19:14
Whom?00:19:16
Stop playing dumb, I am not blind.00:19:25
- What shall I do now?
- I don’t know.00:19:28
Neither do I…00:19:34
- I say…
- What?00:19:43
Nothing.00:19:51
Where to?00:19:54
Nowhere. To have a smoke. Sleep.00:19:59
- I am sleeping.
- Sleep on.00:20:03
I am sleeping.00:20:15
Now, Petia. Let’s be fair.00:20:18
Let her choose herself.00:20:20
And let’s go to see her
only together. Agreed?00:20:23
Agreed! But honestly, no cheating.00:20:26
And if she chooses someone,
don’t take offence… Neither will I.00:20:29
- Agreed?
- But no cheating.00:20:32
- OK. Settled.
- Good. Settled.00:20:36
- Petia, we are friends, aren’t we?
- Friends.00:20:40
- So? Agreed?
- Agreed.00:20:42
- Settled.
- Settled.00:20:51
- Good night.
- Good night.00:21:09
We’ve agreed!00:21:10
But did they have a TV set?00:21:14
I don’t seem to remember a TV set.00:21:21
Aren’t you ashamed? I’ll be late!00:21:27
- Here it is!
- Shame on you.00:21:33
It is dissatisfied. It has been
hung in the wrong place.00:21:37
You all are driving me crazy!00:21:40
Where? Where shall I hang you?
Tell me.00:21:43
Wherever you like.
I don’t care anymore.00:21:46
You mortally offended me.00:21:49
Inna!00:21:51
Will you ever come out?00:21:53
You are not alone after all!
What the hell!00:21:56
Perhaps you’ll suggest
a place to swim?00:22:00
The first workday and they’ve
already got me.00:22:03
Timofei Ivanovich!
You could at least look00:22:04
the other way! For goodness sake!
It’s embarrassing.00:22:07
How touchy!00:22:10
We’ve know each other
since 1257 B.C.!00:22:15
I mean their Christ….00:22:16
It doesn’t matter.
Still I am embarrassed.00:22:21
Give me a towel.
Please.00:22:26
Give, bring…00:22:32
- Some princess…
- Thank you.00:22:50
She is embarrassed! Damn her.00:22:56
A fish, that’s what she is.
A fish is always a fish.00:23:17
Let me introduce our tight-knit
staff.00:23:21
Sidorova Olga Ivanovna,
a chemistry teacher.00:23:24
- Glad to meet you.
- So am I.00:23:26
Veronika Arnoldovna Kobylianskaya
a teacher of literature.00:23:30
- Very pleased.
- Me too.00:23:32
This is Tropinin Vladimir
Vladimiroich, a PE instructor.00:23:36
- Glad to meet you.
- Hello.00:23:40
The bell has sounded already.
Time to go to the classrooms.00:23:44
I have a very interesting topic
today. Files and graters.00:24:14
By the way, such T-shirts
are no longer fashionable.00:24:19
They suck.00:24:31
Your size.00:24:35
- How much?
- A present.00:24:40
Wow, how cool! Great!00:24:43
How nice! Super!00:24:52
A newbie?00:25:30
Sit down.00:25:34
I am happy to inform you00:25:36
that our beloved Irina
Alexeevna yesterday00:25:40
- gave birth to a baby boy.
- Congratulations!00:25:45
And this is your new
homeroom teacher.00:25:49
Vailisa Melentievna Berendeeva.00:25:52
- Belkina.
- I know you.00:25:55
You live next door to us.00:25:57
You’ve got that enormous cat…00:26:00
Ducks are flying00:26:08
And two geese00:26:19
I can’t wait00:26:26
To see00:26:33
My beloved.00:26:42
You have a lousy ear for music
Timofei Ivanovich00:26:46
- with all due respect.
- Me?00:26:49
- You. The key is wrong.
- Me? The key?00:26:55
I used to sing with Tchaikovsky
Pyotr Iliych00:26:59
With Bethoven Ludwig Van!00:27:01
No one complained!00:27:03
Oh yes, of course. Ludwig van!00:27:06
He was deaf, Bethoven I mean!00:27:12
Vasilisa Melentievna,
just a moment!00:27:15
2 tickets, 12:30 sharp.00:27:18
Evening screening. Here.00:27:21
Some other time.00:27:39
Do you want to go to the movies?00:27:42
- Yes!
- I’ve just got two tickets.00:27:47
12:30.00:28:05
What a pleasant surprise!00:28:11
How did you happen to be here?00:28:13
Duties. My rounds.00:28:17
- I see.
- I was going to get fine filters00:28:22
at the spare parts shop00:28:24
in Suvorovsky street over there.00:28:29
- Will you accompany me?
- Yes!00:29:37
Antiwing, front and back spoilers00:29:42
adaptive transmission00:29:45
ventilated disk brakes!00:29:47
Can you imagine what sort of car
it is?00:29:50
Booster injection and acceleration
to 100 km in 6.2 seconds!00:30:24
Well, thank you for seeing me home
and showing me the town.00:30:27
It’s not the entire town yet.00:30:29
We have a club.
And a movie theatre.00:30:32
- Is there dancing at the club?
- On Saturdays.00:30:35
- Sure!
- At 21:00.00:30:37
- Hello.
- Hi.00:30:40
Your neighbors, the Belkins.00:30:42
The boy has been on crutches since
childhood, he has some bone trouble.00:30:46
The mother is alone having a hard
time with two kids. No father.00:30:50
I once took him to a professor
in the regional clinic00:30:53
He turned out to be a professor00:30:56
in name only.00:30:59
No use.00:31:10
Aren’t you going to bed?00:31:19
I did not understand.00:31:20
Neither did I.00:31:24
Petia, what do you mean?00:31:26
Nothing.00:31:30
You chatted through your hat all
the time, I could not put in a word.00:31:35
- Did I silence you?
- All the same, it is not fair.00:31:39
- Are you always fair?
- I am.00:31:41
- I am fair!
- Are you?00:31:44
Who sneaked to the school building?00:31:46
We agreed not to go alone.00:31:49
And you?00:31:53
Petia, stop sulking.00:31:55
Yes, I talked, I did. Did I have
to be silent?00:31:58
You keep silent, I keep silent.
She’ll get bored to death.00:32:04
Tomorrow you’ll do the talking.00:32:10
I will keep silent like a partisan
at the interrogation.00:32:27
- You saw it, I held my tongue.
- And so?00:32:32
What do you want me to do now?00:32:43
And now ladies' choice.00:32:46
Ladies invite gentlemen.00:33:15
Pyotr Sergeevich,00:33:18
may I invite you.00:33:21
Sure.00:33:23
Meaning thank you.00:33:34
This, Pyotr Sergeevich, is a waltz.00:33:45
Charles Gounod.00:33:49
Margarita’s waltz
from the opera “Faust”.00:33:52
There was this case in the
neighboring region00:33:58
a drunken brawl with heavy bodily
injuries.00:34:03
Who could have thought!00:34:06
Yes.00:34:10
Article 111, part two00:34:15
And then there was00:34:18
this case00:34:21
but also in a neighboring
region.00:34:30
Oh, we seem to have arrived.00:34:39
Thank you for the pleasant evening.00:34:52
No comment.00:34:58
Vania!00:35:40
What are you up to?00:35:44
What are you up to,
I am asking you?00:35:48
Stop keeping silent.00:35:52
Have you forgotten00:35:54
how much we have suffered00:35:57
because of this?
Have you?00:36:02
Oh, Vasia! There are rules.
The ban!00:36:08
Look who is talking!00:36:12
If occasionally I did
break some rules00:36:16
yes, I did! I took
punishment for it!00:36:20
And so will I, if need be.00:36:22
Vasia, calm down!00:36:24
Just think, merely think!00:36:26
You endanger all of us.00:36:28
Me, Timofei Ivanovich, Inna!00:36:30
Inna might also like to splash
in the open!00:36:34
To exercise her tail.00:36:36
But the poor child is suffering
walking on her legs.00:37:20
Some topic you chose!00:37:24
- serious bodily injuries!
- Yes, I know…00:37:30
Petia, you yourself must have
severe bodily injuries!00:37:59
What is it?00:38:03
What?00:38:05
Nothing, I must have imagined it.00:38:10
I am telling you, severe bodily!00:38:25
What is taking you so long?
Come to breakfast.00:38:28
Pavlik!00:39:02
Mommy, look!00:39:10
Wow, it bloomed00:39:13
And I thought it was withered.00:39:16
Why are you standing there?
Sit down, eat.00:39:20
Mommy, it bloomed right before
my eyes. I saw it.00:39:26
You saw it. I saw it too.00:39:29
What is unusual about it?00:39:31
- But Mommy
- Vera, what did I tell you?00:39:51
Pavlik, why are you gulping water?
I poured you milk.00:39:55
Sit, drink some milk.00:40:34
Mommy! Look!00:40:37
Mum! Mum! I can walk!00:40:44
Oh sonny!00:40:51
- Mommy! Pasha!
- Mum, I am walking!00:41:08
The first case in my practice.00:41:10
In world practice!
A very rare occasion.00:41:14
Paradoxical…
The first time00:41:20
No explanation. Artifact. Nonsense00:41:25
That’s what
physical exercises mean.00:41:28
Yes, and a good instructor.
A born teacher!00:41:31
But this does not explain things
from the medical point of view!00:41:35
- I just don’t get it!
- Try to find another explanation.00:41:39
Pavlik won’t be coming for a time.00:41:42
I’ll wait, aunt Zina.00:41:45
As you please.00:41:50
Who will this be?00:41:53
This, Valerik, will be David.00:41:59
An ancient hero.00:42:01
He fought the giant
single-handedly.00:42:04
- Did he win?
- Probably.00:42:07
Otherwise why would they
make a monument to him?00:42:13
Do you need Pavlik
on business?00:42:15
Uhu.00:42:18
I mean00:42:20
Yes.00:42:29
People are saying amazing things,
aunt Zina.00:42:31
They say water in your house
is special.00:42:34
Water? Yes, the water is good.00:42:39
- Have you got a lot of it?
- An entire well over there.00:42:46
What will you use it for?00:42:51
For the usual purposes00:42:54
wash the dishes and such like00:42:58
what the water is usually used for.00:43:05
You could sell it for example.00:43:14
What nonsense!00:43:17
My God!00:43:35
OK, aunt Zina. I agree.00:43:39
15 % interest on the turnover
plus hospitality allowance00:43:43
plus business trip expenses plus 5%
on world sales.00:43:47
I cover everything.00:45:00
Go, go!00:45:03
Stop.00:45:10
Wow.00:45:21
Mom!00:45:23
My God!00:45:26
What is this for?00:45:28
This, aunt Zina, is part of our
new image.00:45:33
Can this part move by itself?00:45:35
- What is the difference?
- There is a difference.00:45:38
Every car should be able to move.00:45:40
Any! This is a Mercedes!
See the difference!00:45:43
Oh, Pasha, Valerik knows best.
Right, Valerik?00:45:48
I don’t know… should we really…00:45:50
We should, aunt Zina, we should!00:46:13
The weather is fine today, almost
like in summer.00:46:27
- So what? What?
- You know yourself what!00:46:31
- You know, he is…
- Wait!00:46:34
Vasia, what is this magic
with water?00:46:37
- Yes! And besides…
- Wait!00:46:39
You’ve broken the main prohibition.
Shall I remind you?00:46:42
- Yes, she must have forgotten.
- Wait!00:46:44
Breaking this law you endangered
us all.00:46:47
- And besides…
- And besides…00:46:51
What? Why are you silent?
Say something. We are waiting.00:46:55
I am listening. What have I done?00:46:59
You have the arrogance to ask?
She has the arrogance to ask!00:47:02
- You’d better keep silent!
- Me?00:47:04
You! Because of your stunts
incidentally00:47:07
we can barely manage!00:47:08
Who turned the biology teacher
into a toad in Saratov?00:47:11
You have no idea how mean he was.00:47:13
He threatened to make us all
flunk the exam!00:47:15
And the collegiate assessor
in Morshansk in 806 was also mean?00:47:19
There’s a lot I can remember!00:47:22
Speak for yourself!00:47:24
Oh really? Perhaps it’s me who
wanders in the sky at night00:47:28
and have the papers report it?00:47:29
- A UFO over Omsk!
- I did not do it in plain view.00:47:33
Exactly, at night, when nobody
can see me.00:47:38
As for the assessor,
he asked for it.00:47:41
Let us swim, let us swim!00:47:44
No need to start
the Hague tribunal here.00:47:47
I say! No need
to chide everybody here!00:47:49
Hush now!00:47:51
Now then. Un-spell the water,00:47:55
drop all nonsense00:47:57
and you, mom, stop playing00:47:59
with aviation, or Air Defenses
might hit you before you know it.00:48:04
Understood?00:48:07
I’ve got my migraine because of
all your shouting.00:48:11
I’ll go have a walk.
Oh my head!00:48:15
Oh, Fenia!00:48:16
Finish sawing, I’ve got to take
Mitia from the kindergarten.00:48:20
Don’t rush me!
Or I’ll saw your leg off!00:48:23
Tamara Sergeevna, dearest!00:48:25
Sign for the travelling allowance. I
must complete the quarterly report.00:48:30
Feofan Ivanovich, how much longer?00:48:32
Will you please let me work today?00:48:35
I’ll call later.00:48:40
Konstantin Konstantinovich,00:48:43
Be so kind, sign the register.00:48:56
What on earth is she doing!00:48:59
- Risky.
- She is wearing a security belt.00:49:07
And still it is risky.00:49:17
How gracious!00:49:20
Konstantin Konstantinovich!00:49:22
As an artistic director you must
pay attention…00:49:48
I can see you’ve made yourself
at home?00:49:51
Yes.00:49:55
- How’s Inna doing at school?
- Quite well.00:50:01
- A smart girl.
- She is sharp.00:50:05
I can’t understand whom she
resembles? Not her mom.00:50:09
She takes after her father.
Uhu. Her father.00:50:21
- And the father?
- He was a military man.00:50:26
- He died.
- Yes…00:50:36
I suppose you came to see Vasilisa?00:50:39
- No, no.
- No?00:50:41
- We…
- We were passing by…Dropped in00:50:42
- to see how you’ve settled.
- How things are.00:50:45
- I see.
- We haven’t come to see Vasilisa.00:50:48
So be it.00:50:52
- She’ll come late.
- Why so?00:50:56
She is held back at school.
A staff meeting.00:51:12
- We’ll be going.
- Yes.00:51:14
Stay a bit longer.00:51:18
- Some more tea?
- Thanks.00:51:20
No, thanks. We must be off.00:51:23
- Good bye!
- Come again!00:51:30
Well? What do you say?00:51:34
I am afraid soon
we’ll be having a wedding.00:51:37
What is there to be afraid of? We
are accustomed to it.00:51:51
My doves!00:51:53
Open paragraph 34.00:51:56
The birth of chemistry
as a science.00:51:59
Berendeeva! Berendeeva!00:52:03
Did you hear me?00:52:06
Then come out to the blackboard.00:52:09
Come on. Berendeeva, come quick.00:52:13
Chemistry as a science was born
of alchemy.00:52:15
- In the Middle Ages…
- Belkin!00:52:17
This won’t help her.00:52:19
So, we are all ears.00:52:22
Chemistry as a science00:52:25
was born of alchemy
in the Middle Ages.00:52:30
When feudal Europe00:52:33
was divided into tiny dukedoms
and counties,00:52:37
there were incessant
aggressive wars.00:52:40
Everybody conquered someone
else’s territory00:52:46
and for that you need gold.00:52:48
War costs money.00:52:50
Let’s take the oats
for the horses as an example.00:52:52
Can you imagine how much
one had to spend on it!00:52:55
Say, in 1372 the harvest
was horribly poor00:52:59
- and the horses
- Keep to the point, Berendeeva.00:53:02
Uhu. So.00:53:06
Day and night the alchemists
toiled00:53:10
searching for the philosopher’s
stone00:53:12
because only
the philosopher’s stone00:53:16
can turn everything into gold,
literally everything00:53:19
well, I don’t know… even manure!00:53:22
Express your ideas
clearer, Berendeeva.00:53:24
It was believed so.00:53:26
At the time of ignorance and
the flourishing of pseudoscience.00:53:31
Uhu. And finally00:53:34
A Capuchin from Genoa Bartholomeo
Pissini00:53:38
managed to solve the main
problem of alchemy.00:53:41
He discovered
the philosopher’s stone.00:53:43
Though… back in ancient Egypt…00:53:46
Wait, wait, Berendeeva!00:53:48
Do you mean to say00:53:51
that the philosopher’s stone00:53:53
No, I mean that although
he was the first00:53:56
the merit was not all his.00:53:58
Because it all was rather simple.00:53:59
And he could have guessed earlier00:54:01
that the trick was in the exact
proportions of initial elements.00:54:07
You had to take00:54:11
two potions of phenolphthalein00:54:17
three portions of sodium phosphate00:54:21
one portion of carbon00:54:26
and00:54:29
and one portion of lead,
I mean plumbum.00:54:33
Then you mix it all
thoroughly.00:54:39
And that’s it!00:55:02
Happy birthday!00:55:06
Happy birthday!00:55:08
- Happy birthday, Kostochka!
- Happy birthday!00:55:11
Happy birthday to you!00:55:14
Happy birthday to Kostochka
Happy birthday to you.00:55:18
That’s enough! Stop the hubbub.00:55:21
Oh, you spoilt the song.00:55:23
What is it, Kostochka? We came
to wish you a happy birthday.00:55:26
You already have!
Keep jerking your legs00:55:29
and totally ignore my
safety!00:55:33
- But Kostochka
- Stop calling me Kostochka!00:55:36
Don’t get so excited.
Nothing has happened.00:55:39
What could happen!00:55:41
We were not born yesterday.
We’ll manage somehow.00:55:43
Exactly! Somehow!00:55:45
Screwing things up! I got
frightened to death!00:55:52
You can’t die. You are immortal!00:55:54
Yes, immortal.00:55:56
But if you do your duty this way00:55:59
It won’t work.00:56:02
My nervous system is affected.00:56:04
I am an old sick man.00:56:07
Aged.00:56:15
One portion of carbon?00:56:24
Inna!00:56:42
And how much phenolphthalein?00:56:45
Young man! Hush!
You are bothering me!00:56:58
- How much! Phenolphthalein?
- Two, two!00:57:12
And plumbum?00:57:18
How much plumbum?00:57:21
One! Leave me alone, please!00:57:50
Can’t you understand!00:57:55
I need the sky…00:58:15
- Hi!
- Hi!00:58:18
He… is busy. I am waiting
for him too.00:58:24
I knew it! Alka and Polka are
cajoling the artistic director.00:58:29
Oh no! What are they hoping for?00:58:31
There’re lots of things to hope for.
He’s an artistic director after all.00:58:36
He adores his wife.
He had a wife.00:58:39
You don’t know! She either died
or left him…00:58:43
There’s a photo on his desk,
he looks at it for hours.00:58:49
Women, women!00:58:53
Spiders in ginger syrup.00:58:55
- Sugared cockroaches…
- Pickled leeches00:58:59
Too much clove in marinade.00:59:03
I don’t know!
It’s impossible to suit you!00:59:05
I do know.00:59:15
There they are!00:59:20
Pack the props. We are going
to Reshetov.00:59:24
See? It’s a large-scale business.00:59:28
I told you!00:59:30
And you keep saying “shit”, “shit”00:59:34
When did I tell you shit?
When?00:59:38
- Stop the squabble.
- Do we take them out?00:59:41
Dough00:59:46
We’ll take bucks as is proper.00:59:51
So, Zinaida Belkina and Co.00:59:57
Now we are your protection. Got it?01:00:02
Ever heard about racket?01:00:09
What is with you, grandma?
Reminiscences?01:00:12
I felt like looking at them,01:00:17
all of them are here.01:00:20
- This one was mean.
- Let him be01:00:24
Kept getting at me with
his studies. “Study! Study!”01:00:28
- He was right.
- Knowledge is power!01:00:29
“Baby, have an apple…”01:00:36
That one was good, kind.01:00:39
- Liked animals.
- So what?01:00:43
This one was all right too, but too
short-tempered.01:00:48
Why did Vaska fall for him?01:00:51
You don’t know the whole story yet.01:01:05
I keep remembering this one01:01:10
Kind, gentle01:01:12
He always said “mother, mother…01:01:14
sit down, have a rest…01:01:17
He adored Vasilisa.01:01:22
We still have his saber somewhere.01:01:27
Memory.01:01:31
- May I?
- Boria!01:01:36
How are things?01:01:39
Happy birthday. This is for you.01:01:43
Thank you, Boria. Thank you.01:01:46
- So you haven’t forgotten?
- Of course not.01:01:52
Good boy. Would you like some cake?01:02:13
I meant to ask you01:02:18
when you adopted me01:02:23
how old were you?01:02:27
And how old are you now?01:02:35
You see, Boria!01:02:47
You are all soiled!01:02:57
Sooner or later you were bound
to ask this question.01:03:05
How shall I01:03:10
explain it….01:03:16
All right.01:03:18
Do you remember,
when you were little01:03:21
I read fairy-tales to you?01:03:27
Well,01:03:29
what I read to you01:03:34
were stories from my life.01:03:44
Dad!01:03:50
Daddy!01:03:59
Two portions of phenolphthalein01:04:03
One portion01:04:11
of plumbum01:04:15
Valerik, have you seen
the saucepan with borsch?01:04:19
- Nope.
- Incredible!01:04:21
Nobody saw it, nobody touched it!
Has it evaporated?01:04:33
Valerik, why have you
locked yourself in?01:04:38
Open up!01:04:42
Mom, don’t bother me, I am doing
my homework.01:04:45
Homework! You must have
dreamt something up again…01:05:00
Valerik!01:05:05
Who poured out borsch
in the kitchen garden?01:05:08
- I don’t know, mom.
- He doesn’t know!01:05:12
Just you wait. Let father get back.
Just imagine!01:05:17
A saucepan of borsch! I meant it
to last for three days!01:05:21
When father comes back
he will have a nice talk with you.01:05:29
Winged prehistoric pangolin?01:05:33
pterodactyl01:05:35
- No good. 12 letters.
- Archaeopteryx.01:05:43
So01:05:45
Just before my discharge01:05:49
in November01:05:52
in the medical unit01:05:55
there appeared such a cute nurse.01:06:01
Here. And here!01:06:05
And a mutual affection arose.01:06:10
Once I was on duty in my company01:06:15
and the company was at the
shooting-range.01:06:18
Dostoevsky’s novel. 5 letters.01:06:22
Crime and Punishment01:06:25
Idiot01:06:29
Back at you01:06:31
Mutual affection… right…01:06:36
Vania, and where’s your
mutual affection?01:06:39
Haven’t seen Lidka for a while.01:06:42
She went to her mother’s village
to help with potatoes.01:06:47
But Valka is here. She has a crush
on you.01:07:01
Setting up production
on an industrial scale!01:07:13
I don’t get it, where’s the dough?01:07:17
She says, no more dough.01:07:19
No more dough, no more water.01:07:24
She is conning us! Sure as hell!01:07:30
Explain things to her tomorrow.01:07:35
You can’t dig out a lot
in our fucking town.01:07:40
Too small a scale.01:07:44
You can’t lose sources of income.01:07:47
If you approach the problem
from an unconventional angle01:07:51
you can always reach
a consensus.01:07:53
Say it again. And no bluff!01:07:58
A snotty-nosed punk offers
shipment of gold.01:08:04
No garbage, no frame-up. I checked
it myself.01:08:08
He must have cool protectors.01:08:10
See? You can talk rationally.01:08:17
Gold, you say?01:08:22
Pure gold.01:08:33
- Zinaida
- What?01:08:35
- Why are you so sad?
- No reason to be merry.01:08:39
- Don’t start!
- I’m ready to cry.01:08:40
What’s wrong?01:08:43
I don’t know what to do.01:08:48
Talk some sense!
Life’s just settled,01:08:51
you are a beauty,
Pavlik has recovered01:08:55
I really don’t know what to do.01:08:58
Talk properly01:09:00
- Racket is pestering me.
- What?01:09:02
They harassed
me when I sold spoons.01:09:05
Now they’ve come to my house.01:09:06
They said, racket, protectors,01:09:10
took the money, said they’d be back.01:09:13
They threatened me. I came
to fetch Verka.01:09:16
Pavlik is a grown-up. He’ll be OK01:09:18
OK, OK.
But she… just in case….01:09:22
Vera, Vera!01:09:26
Vera, my girl!01:09:31
OK. Well, then.01:09:34
Enough.01:09:37
- I don’t know how to get there.
- Pasha, will there be elephants?01:09:41
- No. So what?
- So.01:09:43
Then a lion stepped out.01:09:45
And the gladiator, he was
a Spartan, an enormous fellow01:09:49
he grabbed him by the mane
and started knocking him about01:09:52
The Coliseum exploded!01:09:55
I sat in the top row
and could not see.01:09:57
- Pasha, will there be bears?
- No.01:10:00
- So.
- And dogs at least?01:10:02
I don’t know…01:10:08
Good evening, my dear friends!01:10:12
Tonight01:10:14
we open our circus’s tour01:10:17
in the wonderful town of Reshetov!01:10:28
Dear friends!01:10:29
I present the artistic director
of our program01:10:34
Merited Worker of Arts
of the Russian Federation01:10:39
Konstantin Bessmertnykh!01:10:47
Wait a sec! What do you mean you
were sitting in the top row?01:10:50
In the movie theatre “Coliseum”.01:10:53
Circus parade!01:10:58
- What’s wrong?
- Trained monkeys!01:11:01
Gosh, I forgot
to switch off the iron!01:11:07
Bicycle figure skaters,
the Faberges.01:11:12
Gerard Pantyukhin, the juggler.01:11:17
Illusionists Tamara and
Feofan Falaleevs!01:11:22
Trapeze artists Alina and Polina
Bolotnys.01:11:27
Pasha! Will there be clowns?01:11:33
Here..01:11:55
- Take it away!
- OK!01:12:08
Care for a drink?01:12:12
No… I am driving.01:12:25
Smells of bedbugs.01:12:29
In short, guys01:12:31
I got word from the neighboring
region.01:12:35
They’ve heard about our business
and want to cooperate.01:12:38
Like hell! Want a free ride.01:12:42
From my point of view01:12:44
it can be profitable.01:12:47
Are you kidding?01:12:50
We can get our split.01:12:52
You should have said so.01:12:57
Drop it, golden teeth.01:13:00
It’s not intellectual!01:13:02
I want to have a seal ring.01:13:06
Wow! Teacher! Shall we dance?01:13:10
Well. Who is the boss here?01:13:15
Me. Can’t you see?01:13:17
So. If you don’t leave Zinaida
Belkina alone this moment01:13:22
you’ll regret it.01:13:25
- I don’t get it.
- There’s nothing to get.01:13:28
The teacher is setting a time.01:13:30
A time? If you wish.01:13:33
- You are asking for it!
- Are you frightened?01:13:40
On Friday. At 12.01:13:42
By the river. Settled?01:13:46
OK.01:13:49
Oh, sorry.01:13:51
Mademoiselle is going to beat us up
or act upon us with words?01:13:56
Mademoiselle will find a way
to act upon you.01:14:07
All settled, aunt Zina.01:14:10
Valerik, is it all?01:14:14
Sure. It’s less. 15 % deprecation.
You used it.01:14:25
Go-go.01:14:27
Go!01:14:41
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,01:14:45
Catch a tiger by the toe.01:14:51
If he hollers make him pay,01:14:55
Fifty dollars every day.01:14:58
You can’t catch me!01:15:06
Vasilisa Melentievna!01:15:08
Vasilisa Melentievna!01:15:16
I tell you again!01:15:18
Swith on Le Bourget!01:15:22
Come on!01:15:24
The air show is once a year!01:15:27
Get lost with your airplanes.01:15:29
- That’s all! That’s it!
- People have feelings here!01:15:33
Kaschei is in town!01:15:36
- Kaschei! How do you know?
- The circus has come!01:15:41
What bad luck!01:15:44
- What bad luck!
- I don’t know!01:15:46
Just my luck!01:15:50
Quiet, quiet.01:15:52
Does baby want a candy?01:16:00
Hi!01:16:04
- We were just passing by.
- And decided to drop in.01:16:06
- Lost, our beauty is lost…
- I thought we might drop in.01:16:10
It’s the wrong moment?01:16:14
Is Vasilisa home?01:16:20
Vasilisa, hm01:16:23
There!... Uncle!01:16:26
And then this… and me01:16:29
- Vasilisa Melentievna! And he….
- What?01:16:32
- Whack!
- And?01:16:35
And that’s all.01:16:38
- Where? Where?!
- Over there!01:16:43
What is it?01:16:46
What’s happened?01:16:48
Vasilisa is lost!
Our beauty is completely lost!01:16:50
What do you mean lost?01:16:53
- In what sense?
- Completely lost!01:16:56
Talk rationally.01:16:58
- What was she wearing?
- Oh, Vasilisa…01:17:00
- What was she wearing?
- Quite, quiet.01:17:04
Any distinctive marks?01:17:06
Moustache?01:17:09
- This blouse..
- Birth marks, scars, tattoos?01:17:11
- What are you talking about?
- What?01:17:13
- Who is lost? What uncle?
- The circus!01:17:16
- The director!
- He is Vasilisa’s enemy.01:17:18
- Sworn!
- Yes!01:17:22
Stop, Vania. Follow me.01:17:26
- What bad luck!
- Calm down.01:17:30
Vania! Repair works!01:17:45
Go, Vania, go. Faster!
Faster!01:17:48
Look out!01:18:32
- Stop!
- It’s all right! Stop!01:18:34
- Where is she?
- There!01:18:38
- Who are you? It’s not her!
- Are you crazy?01:18:41
Get lost!01:18:47
See? They distract the attention
and switch the woman.01:18:52
Fenia! What is going on?01:18:57
Sorry, man. A mistake.01:18:59
Keep running about.
Who let them in, Fenia?01:19:02
- It’s not a woman in the crate.
- Who then?01:19:04
- A replica.
- Fenia! Work!01:19:13
- What’s the matter?
- Go, go.01:19:15
- What’s the matter?
- Stop! It’s all right.01:19:19
I‘ll tell you what the matter is!01:19:21
What the matter is!
Swine! Where’s Vasilisa?01:19:24
- What Vasilisa?
- Don’t play dumb, citizen.01:19:26
- We have witnesses.
- Don’t push!01:19:29
How outrageous!01:19:35
I’ve seen this turn already.01:19:42
All right.01:20:11
Fuck you01:20:15
Well, citizen..01:20:19
Oh well, scum! I’ll kill you!01:20:40
Fenia! Get me out of here!01:20:43
Help!01:20:56
Fenia! Get me out of here!01:21:06
Fenia the scoundrel is so popular.01:21:11
No big deal.01:21:14
In 67 in Samara I was01:21:17
performing a wiredancing act.01:21:20
That was a success!01:21:25
Did you see this turn too?01:21:47
Stop! I’ll shoot!01:21:49
First shot in the air,
second shot to kill!01:22:21
Is it a trick?01:22:23
What a trick! Great work!01:23:10
A kiss!01:23:12
A kiss!01:23:22
We couldn’t save him!01:23:27
Couldn’t save dad.01:23:32
Couldn’t save him.01:23:36
In one of our programs we told you01:23:39
about the extraordinary powers of
the water in the well of01:23:41
one of the citizens of Reshetov.01:23:43
Our program initiated laboratory
tests of the water01:23:46
at the Russian Academy
of Medical Sciences.01:23:51
Yesterday we received the results01:23:54
stating that the water has no
magical characteristics01:23:57
except for the slightly higher
concentration of mineral salts.01:24:00
This is what the Mayor of
Reshetov told our program01:24:03
in a telephone interview.01:24:06
Tell them, after all!01:24:08
A real invasion! They keep coming!01:24:12
The hotel is all booked up.01:24:15
At the parenting room
at the station…01:24:19
They are coming! Hurray!01:24:25
Congratulations!01:24:30
A kiss!01:24:41
A kiss!01:24:44
4, 5,01:24:46
6, 7, 8,01:24:50
9, 10, 11,01:24:54
12, 13, 14,01:24:57
15, 16, 17...01:26:18
Upset?01:26:21
- A bit.
- Don’t.01:26:25
- Easier said than done.
- I know.01:26:34
What didn’t she like in me?01:26:36
Don’t try to understand.01:26:39
Women are mysterious creatures and
unpredictable.01:26:46
Don’t agonize too much.01:26:48
She is not the only one
in the world.01:26:51
There are others.01:26:54
Where are they, others?01:26:57
Belkina for one.01:27:02
I don’t share your skepticism.01:27:05
A charming lady.
So tremulous, sensitive…01:27:11
Who? Zina?01:27:17
Strange. There’s nobody.01:27:22
Serve more01:27:25
Eat, eat well!
I’ve brought you an apple each.01:27:28
- So that life should be sweet.
- Don’t worry so much.01:27:31
Sit down to table. Mother.01:27:40
Son.01:27:50
Inna!01:27:55
Come here.01:27:57
Come.01:27:59
- What is it?
- The gold disintegrates?01:28:03
- What?
- The gold…01:28:07
Yes. That’s the problem…01:28:09
Didn’t I say, the Capuchin’s gold
was very volatile?01:28:13
He got his ears and tongue cut off
for that.01:28:16
Ears?01:28:19
How long does the gold last?01:28:22
Depends on the original components.01:28:26
I say01:28:29
why do you have this foul smell ?01:28:35
I say, get lost.01:28:38
I… I don’t have time.01:28:40
We are having a wedding.01:28:43
Again.01:28:47
Zina, what is it?
Your mood is not right01:28:50
for the wedding.01:28:52
Sad…. Why are you sad?01:28:56
You must have fun.01:28:59
I don’t know. People have fun.
They sing.01:29:04
- Why do you keep silent?
- I can’t sing.01:29:08
What, at all?01:29:10
- You can’t sing at all?
- I have no voice.01:29:22
Have a drink.01:29:24
You might find your voice.01:29:28
Drink.01:29:36
Sing along!01:29:38
He does not know01:29:43
That a girls has a soft spot
for him.01:29:48
Petals are falling from
the arrowwood01:29:54
But the girl’s love lasts01:30:19
- What’s wrong?
- What’s going on?01:30:31
Staring!01:31:23
What about what I said?01:31:25
- Wow!
- Guys, I don’t have time.01:31:27
I say? What do you want?01:31:29
I think I made myself clear.
Leave Belkina alone.01:31:32
And if I don’t want to?01:31:35
Can I take this as your answer?01:31:37
You can. And you can
write the testament.01:31:43
Stop chatting.
My hands are itching.01:31:46
Let me sort it out with her!01:31:49
I hate teachers since childhood.01:31:52
Come here!01:32:00
- You mean these?
- Alyosha!01:32:02
I see.01:32:18
- What a muzzle!
- Nothing special.01:32:23
I saw worse.01:32:26
These ones will have
great muzzles tomorrow.01:32:31
Drank too much01:32:35
Stumbled01:32:38
and hit my head.01:32:41
on the door post.01:32:46
My words were taken down correctly01:32:51
and read by me.01:32:55
That’s all.
Sign here, citizen Kabanov.01:32:58
Where the mark is.01:33:13
Some story we have here…01:33:19
Ordinary dislocation01:33:22
fell from the stairs
got scratched by a cat.01:33:27
Any other explanations?01:33:31
How can you be so careless?01:33:35
OK, we’ll find out.01:33:38
The investigation has no more
questions.01:33:41
So far.01:33:44
Here.01:33:50
Get well.01:33:55
Will he punch us up too?01:33:57
He has no right to.
The law forbids it.01:34:02
Why does he say he’ll find out?01:34:05
Who can tell me01:34:08
what happened to us? No, really?01:34:11
This must be the teacher’s
cool protector.01:34:14
I got it at once.
It was the “Alpha” group.01:34:18
Those old hags?01:34:22
Well, veterans of the “Alpha” group.01:34:26
OK! We’ll lie low!01:34:28
For the time being.
Keep quiet, I warn you.01:34:34
Quiet as the grave. Got it?01:34:50
Damn punk!01:34:54
I’ll kill him! I’ll kill
the motherfucker!01:34:59
I’ll kill him!01:35:01
I’ll get and kill him! Scum!01:35:04
It hurts! Nurse!01:35:09
I’ll tear you to pieces like a dog
tears the warmer.01:35:13
I’ll cut you to pieces
like a pugdog! Scum!01:35:18
I’ll kill you!01:35:30
Hello, Lyudwiga Radomyslovna!01:35:32
Gertruda Leopoldovna! Hello, dear.01:35:35
Sorry I am late.01:35:39
Why all the hubbub?01:35:42
This is no hubbub. More is coming!01:35:45
- Shall we fly?
- Uhu.01:37:10
Translated by Maria TerakopianDescription:
Подпишись, чтобы увидеть больше новых фильмов https://www.youtube.com/user/fenixpluskino?sub_confirmation=1 Они почти бессмертны... Они практически всемогущи... Они сказочно знамениты... Только жизнь их полна хлопот. Во-первых, приходится переезжать с места на место, а как же иначе? Тридцать лет к ряду на прекрасном лице Василисы-красавицы не замечено ни одной морщинки, и завистливые соседки теряют сон. Теряет сон и рыбинспекцня, однажды узревшая бывшую русалку Инку во время ночного купания. А ПВО и вовсе спать не положено, да и уснешь тут, когда окрестности на бреющем полете облетает БАБушкА ЯдвиГА. Нет, не на ступе... а всего-то на старенькой стиральной машине. Во-вторых, как не помочь тому, с кем жизнь обошлась несправедливо?! Вот и нарушают свой же собственный Запрет на Чародейство, а вместо благодарности только новые проблемы - ну не готовы люди к Чудесам, что ты будешь делать... И вот приезжает вся эта компания в тихий маленький городок Решетов... Идея и сценарий - Михаил Левитин, Сергей Скворцов Постановка - Михаил Левитин Автор диалогов - Ирина Кмит Оператор-постановщик - Максим Шинкоренко В ролях: Алексей Панин, Алексей Макаров, Мария Глазкова, Ёла Санько, Татьяна Арнтгольц, Ольга Тумайкина, Евгений Кочетков, Аня Бычкова, Михаил Беленький, Нодар Мгалоблишвили, Владимир Долинский, Александр Ревенко, Александр Числов, кот Кекс и др. Чудеса в Решетове. Фильм. Кино. Феникс Кино. Комедия. Фантастика Канал "Феникс Кино" на портале YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/fenixpluskino Канал "Феникс Кино" Единственный официальный канал в YouTube, где можно посмотреть сериалы "Всегда Говори Всегда", "Брак по завещанию", "Условия контракта", "Улыбка пересмешника", "Двойная жизнь", "Любовь по приказу", "Поздний срок", а также их продолжения и многие другие замечательные сериалы, многие из которых доступны в HD. Телеканал "Феникс Плюс Кино" http://fenixplus.tv/ Fenix Kino in English / Наш канал на английском языке https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZRNguOtj5GlkkN8jzpS7xw?sub_confirmation=1
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