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Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
Hello, my dear viewers,00:00:03
Olga Demchuk is here, a researcher of the00:00:04
inner world of personality. Congratulations to00:00:07
everyone on the coming spring, warmth and00:00:11
love to you. Today I would like to talk to you00:00:14
about the topic of emotion,00:00:17
this topic00:00:18
is inexhaustible and today we will take00:00:21
a small piece of its aspect;00:00:25
our topic is specifically called00:00:29
emotion instead of activity00:00:33
In order for us to begin this00:00:36
topic, it is important to place in our minds the00:00:39
understanding that our emotionalization has00:00:42
deep roots in our childhood. More precisely,00:00:45
in our infancy when we were00:00:49
babies. We couldn’t speak; we00:00:53
couldn’t go; we couldn’t take something. Here we are lying00:00:56
in the crib;00:00:58
emotionalization for us it was00:00:59
the only opportunity to call a00:01:01
significant adult to inform a00:01:05
significant adult about our state of00:01:07
our needs and besides this,00:01:11
emotion is an opportunity to manifest,00:01:14
that is, to feel I am00:01:18
and this atavism is with us forever like all00:01:23
previous levels of development. That is, I00:01:26
again urge you to treat yourself as00:01:28
to a process that has been going on for00:01:30
decades.00:01:32
This emotionalization instead of activity00:01:38
appears in moments of stress, that is,00:01:41
we unnoticed by ourselves regress to00:01:44
previous levels of development00:01:48
and00:01:51
get emotional and spend a huge00:01:53
amount of energy. It often happens that00:01:56
our emotionalization does not turn into00:01:59
some kind of action, that is, the psyche00:02:01
Perceives00:02:02
emotionalization as quite00:02:05
active at the moment, I00:02:08
have drawn drawings here, have been00:02:11
condescending towards my artistic00:02:13
capabilities, they are diagrams So ladies and00:02:16
gentlemen,00:02:18
here is00:02:20
our personality, our consciousness, here is the00:02:23
gap between the black00:02:26
dotted line, this is our conscious mind, our00:02:30
inner world, the inner world that00:02:32
we have in access That is, what is brought into00:02:35
consciousness is what00:02:36
can be00:02:39
controlled, we can influence it. So00:02:44
here a wall of emotions is formed from this wall00:02:49
when a person treats his00:02:53
emotions as enemies which are like this, this00:02:58
happens quite often, then00:03:00
the only way to stop this is00:03:04
these attacks from the inside is blocking of00:03:07
emotions, a frozen person is so00:03:11
dry, restrained, this is a person who has00:03:15
this powerful wall00:03:18
and00:03:21
the emotions00:03:22
that are formed inside00:03:25
them put pressure on the personality, they00:03:29
force the personality to perform some00:03:33
action, that is, they cause us00:03:34
anxiety if these emotions are not00:03:37
differentiated, are not recognized, are not00:03:40
specified, then a person feels00:03:43
this pressure Like anxiety, that is,00:03:45
anxiety increases, many people don’t even00:03:48
recognize that their anxiety has now00:03:51
increased, they are so used to being00:03:54
separate from their emotions, the00:03:57
moment anxiety increases, we feel00:04:00
pressure on ourselves. You see the arrow,00:04:02
as it were, depicts pressure00:04:05
and the person feels that it00:04:10
his pressure increases when something appears00:04:13
outside, that is, when he meets some00:04:16
Person or00:04:17
he came to some society or00:04:21
community for a lecture or00:04:24
somewhere else and with the appearance of some00:04:27
external object this pressure00:04:28
begins to increase a person who00:04:31
blocks the understanding of his emotions does not00:04:34
perceive it as a product of the inner00:04:37
world, perceives it as something00:04:39
brought in from the outside, that is, this object has00:04:42
appeared, the emotional pressure has intensified,00:04:55
everything would have been fine, undoubtedly the person will00:04:58
feel the00:05:02
expenditure of energy to retain emotions, that00:05:06
is, if he paid attention to these00:05:08
emotions If I started to digest them, I wouldn’t have to00:05:12
restrain them, but many people00:05:16
see this in their clients, they don’t understand00:05:19
what is forming in them. Why do they00:05:22
form, for example, the00:05:25
resulting dissatisfaction00:05:28
with their behavior, for example, someone00:05:32
close to me with whom I live together did not tell00:05:34
me Good morning, if I understand that this00:05:39
something has formed in me, I begin00:05:42
to reason. Well, the person may be in a00:05:44
bad mood; the morning is not good,00:05:46
so he doesn’t want to talk. I00:05:48
have digested all these emotions; if I don’t digest these emotions, I00:05:51
continue to associate them with an00:05:53
external object, I hold them back, that is, there is a00:05:56
risk that such an00:05:58
overwhelm will happen. there is, if emotions are not00:06:02
digested and not processed, the00:06:05
personality becomes overwhelmed and then the person00:06:08
begins to hold on to the outer wall, that00:06:12
is, in addition to the fact that he is trying to00:06:14
suppress emotions inside, not to let them00:06:20
inside, he is also trying not to let them00:06:22
out because he understands00:06:25
that if he now starts to get emotional00:06:28
outside this will lead to a conflict, a scandal00:06:31
or even a break in the relationship, that is,00:06:34
this hysterical screamer00:06:37
moving to the previous stage of evolution00:06:41
where the baby was trying to achieve something by screaming,00:06:44
no one will tolerate Well,00:06:46
you must agree that a person who00:06:48
emotionally presses screams is quite00:06:50
difficult to bear, we don’t notice it in00:06:54
ourselves but when someone shouts and puts pressure on00:06:56
us, this is of course unpleasant, so00:06:58
a person understands that he must not00:07:02
miss everything, yes. And then it turns out to be a00:07:04
double burden of pressure from within and also00:07:07
containment so that these emotions are not00:07:09
outside00:07:11
when00:07:13
in childhood we are told Don’t make your mother angry, don’t00:07:16
upset Mom is actually teaching us the00:07:20
ability to project the cause of a wave. That00:07:23
is, in fact, the woman who gave birth to00:07:27
a child should say that00:07:29
I am now feeling angry00:07:33
from within when you do this, then she would have00:07:38
formulated this more accurately and specifically00:07:39
And when they tell us Don’t make Mom angry, don’t00:07:44
upset Mom or don’t upset00:07:47
the teacher don’t upset me, I’m00:07:50
worried about you Call me this way00:07:52
we are taught00:07:53
to assign causes of internal00:07:56
emotion to an00:07:58
external object, an external reason, that is,00:08:01
we do not assign a source from within,00:08:07
in fact, you and I have00:08:11
this picture,00:08:13
emotions are generated from within, they don’t00:08:16
understand this and are sure that someone with their00:08:20
presence, someone in their words00:08:21
brings us some kind of emotion00:08:26
about projection, I’ve said a lot, but I00:08:28
always think it’s necessary to repeat because I00:08:30
see in my clients and even in people00:08:32
who go to schools for webinars, the00:08:35
moment they begin to generate00:08:38
these emotions they are completely they forget00:08:40
that they are the source and it’s a little complicated Because it’s00:08:44
always easier to delegate the reason to the outside,00:08:47
then you’re worth everything,00:08:52
but in this video we’re interested in the00:08:55
moment00:08:58
of emotion instead of activity. It00:09:01
turns out that a person generates00:09:05
some kind of emotions and when they00:09:07
exceed this dotted line,00:09:11
our contact with the outside world when we00:09:13
hold back our emotions so as not to spit it out,00:09:15
it’s like a pot in which the lid00:09:18
was open, contact with the00:09:21
outside world was open, but this lid00:09:22
slams shut and such00:09:25
gurgling begins inside, let’s look at specific00:09:28
examples,00:09:29
remember this diagram Let’s keep it in memory now, it’s00:09:32
possible Stop now00:09:35
pause the video, sketch it so that00:09:37
you can now put everything that has been said into a00:09:41
coherent picture. So, a00:09:44
short example. I come to a restaurant;00:09:47
loud music is playing in the restaurant; I came00:09:49
not alone; the person with whom I want to00:09:51
communicate; this music prevents me from00:09:55
listening to him and interferes with00:09:57
our communication; he does not He hears me, I can’t00:10:00
hear00:10:02
when a person is00:10:04
overwhelmed with these emotions,00:10:07
emotions of anger, I don’t think he can’t00:10:12
go up to, say, the administrator and00:10:16
calmly ask him, I came00:10:18
to talk if there is such an opportunity00:10:22
to turn down the music for him, the person is00:10:25
so quickly filled with this00:10:27
anger, dissatisfaction without understanding it and00:10:31
delegating the reason for my emotion00:10:34
to the outside That is, I begin to generate00:10:38
negative emotions due to loud music,00:10:42
but I do not perceive this as the production of an00:10:46
internal product,00:10:48
I treat this as music00:10:52
is the source of my irritation,00:10:56
undoubtedly music influences, but I draw00:10:59
your attention to the fact that we generate this00:11:02
from within if we we won’t figure out what it is00:11:04
from the inside. Even if we try to tell the00:11:09
administrator, we need to make it quieter, we will00:11:12
look inadequate, that is, we00:11:13
understand that we are overcrowded and we00:11:16
are starting to make this dotted line00:11:18
thicker so as not to00:11:21
let it out so as not to look inadequate in front of ourselves. the00:11:25
administrator's witness, our00:11:27
inadequacies for our companion, it00:11:32
seems to the person that his emotions00:11:35
are00:11:37
something00:11:39
natural and beyond doubt, not00:11:42
subject to change,00:11:46
because this problem can be solved, the problem of00:11:50
loud music without emotions, no, that is,00:11:53
understand that this does not suit you, without00:11:56
anger, without accusation, without dissatisfaction,00:11:58
understand what you this is not suitable, that is,00:12:01
instead of emotionalizing God, this music00:12:03
ruined my evening, I00:12:06
sat for two hours in agony, you can go to the00:12:08
administrator after digesting it before, but00:12:12
generated,00:12:13
if the administrator refuses,00:12:16
then say it’s a pity that I have to leave00:12:21
your restaurant, I wanted to spend00:12:22
the evening here calmly00:12:24
and go to another restaurant, the music is quieter and00:12:28
choose a restaurant, you enter the music is00:12:30
quiet, I’m staying here. If this is an00:12:33
important condition for you, then you need to structure00:12:38
your activity so as to create00:12:41
comfortable acceptable conditions for yourself00:12:45
without anger.00:12:50
childhood and infancy, when we find ourselves00:12:54
in a state of00:12:56
impossibility of00:13:00
automatically getting what we want, we begin to get00:13:02
angry. Let’s look at one more00:13:04
example:00:13:05
you came to a cinema or a theater,00:13:09
I had such a case in the theater when a00:13:11
woman next to me has a phone, she00:13:15
starts texting this there is a bright light and00:13:17
it distracts, or in a movie theater,00:13:20
for example, a person generally responds to someone00:13:23
and starts talking; it’s00:13:25
no longer listening to00:13:27
the film, but to what the person is saying and00:13:31
turn to the person and kindly00:13:34
tell him that you are interfering with watching the00:13:37
film. She allows me precisely the instantly00:13:40
generated anger then there is we00:13:42
emotional like a child we react00:13:45
how a child starts to get wound up and this is getting00:13:48
wound up it’s superfluous here it does00:13:52
n’t help solve anything it00:13:55
swings you it will make you00:13:57
adequate in front of yourself if you speak00:13:59
from this state then you will undoubtedly00:14:02
get into conflict because the other00:14:04
person is feeling your pressure does not understand00:14:07
that this is now putting pressure on yourself and it00:14:10
breaks through,00:14:12
he perceives it as an attack on himself and00:14:16
it really looks like And so, that00:14:19
is, we often remain silent and do not do something00:14:21
because we are so quickly filled with00:14:24
this anger that we already understand that00:14:27
we are adequate Now we won’t be able to talk00:14:29
and as if the least evil is to remain silent, let’s00:14:32
look at other options. You’ve come to the doctor, an00:14:36
appointment has been made for you. You’re sitting at00:14:39
the door, you realize that it’s been five minutes,00:14:42
ten minutes, 15-20, and the doctor has00:14:46
n’t called you there, because they told you at the reception00:14:49
that I need a doctor to come If you00:14:53
instantly fill up like a child00:14:55
who cannot bear frustration with00:14:57
anger, then when you arrive at the reception you00:15:00
will already be conflicted, you will already be00:15:01
inadequate and when people begin to react inappropriately to you, you00:15:07
will unconsciously understand that you yourself are now00:15:09
wound up and their00:15:12
conflicts are their conflicts it’s like a00:15:16
reaction to your pressure. If you00:15:19
go, speak in a calm state. That00:15:22
is, you understand. I’m now generating, I’m00:15:25
in a country without help. I’m reacting00:15:27
like a baby. A00:15:30
person doesn’t even perceive this state of anger as anger,00:15:32
he perceives it as I’m not happy with what they’re00:15:34
doing. how bad they are, that is, you see00:15:36
this picture where you and I00:15:41
blamed the outside world. That is,00:15:44
this is the state, that is, there is a white00:15:47
sheet here, there is no understanding that00:15:49
emotions are being generated, this is00:15:52
completely perceived as an attack. I am not suggesting00:15:57
ignoring you in the queue. I propose to00:16:00
appropriate emotions to yourself, that is, in fact,00:16:03
our picture looks like this and for the external00:16:09
reasons of a person talking on the phone00:16:11
because of loud music, because they00:16:15
forgot about you, dissatisfaction begins to develop,00:16:17
this dissatisfaction You00:16:21
begin to restrain with all your might That is, you are00:16:24
actually trying00:16:26
to avoid this moment when it will00:16:31
break out and you will disgrace yourself in front of yourself00:16:35
and00:16:37
really restrain emotions from within00:16:40
holding back emotions so that00:16:42
hard work doesn’t break through, one hundred percent00:16:46
it’s hard, I don’t argue with that, but until00:16:50
there is a source,00:16:54
you00:16:55
will be in this hard work,00:16:58
that is,00:17:00
overflow emotions happen precisely00:17:03
because you think that this is an external00:17:05
reason, as soon as you bring your attention00:17:07
inside and understand that the source is from within,00:17:10
you will have the opportunity to influence it,00:17:13
especially in difficult situations, for example,00:17:15
breaking up with a loved one. Here you are in a00:17:18
relationship and we had a fight and you00:17:21
generate this here is the pain, here is the00:17:25
cry of a baby who says I will die without a00:17:27
second one, but it seems to you that you need to00:17:29
do something with the other. You see, this is00:17:32
not appropriating emotions to oneself, it00:17:35
pushes you to do something with the other, not with00:17:38
yourself but with another, but in this state00:17:39
if we begin to do something with another,00:17:42
then we are more likely to00:17:44
not get what we demand from him00:17:47
due to emotional pressure00:17:50
patience restraint it00:17:53
seems to a person that he is enduring and00:17:55
holding back00:17:57
tolerates music and is holding back about the00:18:01
music about the speaker nearby in00:18:04
the cinema on the phone about00:18:07
staff of the hospital or clinic00:18:09
where you came, but in fact you00:18:12
endure, you hold back the internal00:18:15
internal product,00:18:17
that is, when you and I find ourselves in the00:18:20
moment of00:18:23
this pot00:18:26
that gurgles, gurgles, then this00:18:31
gurgling while the reason for it is delegated00:18:35
externally00:18:36
instead of activity, you will only be engaged in00:18:39
restraining your aggressiveness00:18:41
in order to so as not to disgrace yourself in front of00:18:43
others who will become00:18:45
unwitting witnesses of your00:18:47
inadequacy. You will also become an involuntary00:18:49
witness of adequacy. Then a00:18:52
huge number of processes will be launched. You will00:18:55
walk around and twist money in your head for two or00:18:58
three for many more years. Some of these moments.00:19:02
Where will you try to justify that you00:19:05
did everything right? you were brought down by the00:19:09
administrators in the restaurant by00:19:12
people talking on the phone because you00:19:15
will understand that in something you were00:19:17
wrong it was not that00:19:21
you said00:19:22
anything but with anger and I have noticed00:19:28
many times by people how busy they are with this00:19:32
hard work hard work00:19:34
restraining one’s own aggression00:19:36
patience and therefore go into activity00:19:39
They cannot, they are like a person who00:19:41
holds a hundred filled00:19:45
glasses on a tray already proactivity a person00:19:48
cannot besides this, it is important to understand that you are00:19:51
starting to regress That is, you00:19:54
become a helpless baby00:19:56
the only way00:20:00
to be active is00:20:02
emotionalization, that is what I propose00:20:05
to do is to appropriate the source of emotions00:20:08
to understand to track When you00:20:10
fall through a baby who is00:20:12
helpless, swaddled,00:20:14
not speaking, lying and can only00:20:18
gurgle inside, restrain these emotions,00:20:22
try to appropriate this00:20:25
source for yourself, then there will be more opportunities for activity, then00:20:29
it will be easier to talk with other people then and00:20:31
it will become easier to communicate because00:20:34
until a person assigns all this to00:20:36
himself, communication with the outside world with other00:20:40
people is simply unbearable, in fact, he is00:20:43
constantly trying to influence00:20:45
something external so that it is so00:20:47
that I do not generate, I will00:20:53
ask you, as always, to reflect00:20:56
either in your diaries or in the00:20:58
comments to this video about00:21:02
gurgling, remember these cases when you00:21:05
gurgled because you were overcrowded with00:21:06
dissatisfaction, you were afraid to open your mouth and00:21:09
turn into a tormenting beast, I00:21:12
would also like to introduce you to my new00:21:15
project, it will start at the end of April, school00:21:18
humanity I have been going to it for a very long time and00:21:21
this will really be a project for00:21:25
the first time, I will do such a project; I myself will be00:21:28
in awe of this. Because it00:21:31
will combine several several00:21:35
sciences, let’s say, firstly, of course,00:21:38
psychology and philosophy.00:21:41
And in addition to philosophy and psychology, there00:21:46
will also be00:21:49
theology. That is, I’ll decipher it now, don’t00:21:53
be alarmed, we we will explore a00:21:57
virtuous person and00:22:00
non-virtues of a person, for example, anger00:22:03
and goodness, but we will explore them from the00:22:07
point of view of the00:22:08
unity of opposites, that is,00:22:11
learn to understand Where begins the line beyond00:22:13
which good becomes evil and evil is00:22:16
good for people there to sort out humility,00:22:19
arrogance, gratitude, greed,00:22:22
generosity, we will sort out everything in pairs00:22:25
and learn to think not categorically learn to00:22:29
think broadly, taking into account circumstances00:22:32
and all other nuances00:22:34
In general, the program is already on my website,00:22:36
the link is under this video00:22:39
Come, it will be something very00:22:42
unusual Well, see youDescription:
✅ "Школа человечности", эмоции, мышление, психоанализ и философия https://olgademchuk.org/chelovechnost ✅Книга "Ложное Я. Реальное Я. Исследование внутреннего мира личности" https://olgademchuk.org/book-ukr Эмоционирование вместо активности. Чувственное фантанирование и обездвиженное возмущение. . Самоанализ. Вместо конкретных действий, человек считает достаточным возмущаться, или быть недовольным. Он накрывается крышечкой и булькает изнутри, так и не сказав, не сделав, чтобы что-то изменить, повлиять на ситуацию. Эмоционирование пленяет личность, ей кажется, что она занята важным делом, на которое тратиться масса сил, но во внешней реальности мы видим обездвиженного человека, с меняющимися на лице гримасами. ✅Станьте спонсором канала, и вы получите доступ к эксклюзивным бонусам. Подробнее: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG11A-xxB50Z2VIZ9nTppgA/join ✅так же можно оформить подписку на эти же видео на сайте https://olgademchuk.org/vitrina#!/tab/525836394-3 ✅Список вебинаров, лекций и школ Ольги Демчук, видео-запись которых можно приобрести https://olgademchuk.org/vitrina ✅ Если вы хотите поддержать развитие канала, то можете сделать это, пройдя по ссылке https://olgademchuk.org/donate Ольга Демчук - практикующий психоаналитик, автор многочисленных статей о глубинных процессах в психике, которые вы можете прочесть на её сайте: https://olgademchuk.org/vitrina Ольга Демчук организатор и преподаватель Школы интуитивного мышления "Шпионские игры", Школы холистического мышления "Игры разума", Школы психоаналитиков "Сталкер". Образование в психологии: магистратура по специальности психолог ✅Список вебинаров, лекций и школ Ольги Демчук, видео запись которых можно приобрести https://olgademchuk.org/vitrina ✅
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