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What's The Dumbest Thing an American Has Ever Said To You
Dumbest Thing an American Has Ever Said To You
Dumbest Thing an American Has Ever Said
Dumb Thing an American Has Said To You
Dumb American
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00:00:00
i'm kind of curious what is the dumbest
00:00:01
thing an american has ever said to you
00:00:03
okay so just recently while the
00:00:04
elections were happening i had a girl
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ask me if i was voting for biden or for
00:00:07
trump i said neither i'm in australia
00:00:09
and she said it doesn't matter every
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vote counts
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i had to explain to her that it's just
00:00:14
her country voting not the whole world
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what is the dumbest thing an american
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has ever said to you so when i was like
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20 i studied in kyoto japan for like six
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months and during that time i got a job
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in an irish pub because of course i did
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and one day this american man comes in
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he's like in his 40s and whenever he
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hears my accent he starts delivering
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this speech to everyone about how much
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he thinks he knows about ireland so
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here's me thinking i'm being friendly
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and i was like oh yeah i can see why you
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would think this thing but it's actually
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more like this and he's like well you
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wouldn't really know because you're not
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really irish you're black irish i was
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like i don't even know what the [ __ ]
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that means but anyway yeah i'm irish and
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he's like no
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i have a great grandmother from ireland
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and that's why i'm really irish you
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don't even look like one and i was like
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no i was not about to lose my nice job
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over this man so i was just like give
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him his gin and tonic but he was so
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angry and so livid that i claimed to be
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irish that he brought his co-worker in
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the next day to test if i was irish or
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not me and the co-worker turned out
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we're from the same time and he was like
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yeah she's irish and he was so pissed
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off i'm kind of curious what is the dumbest
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thing an american has ever said to you
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i think i might make a series out of
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this but this is the first thing that
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comes to my mind every time someone asks
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me a question like a question like this
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so
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in 2015 i moved to the us and i was a
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junior in high school at the time
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and i was talking to some girls and they
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were like
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asking me questions about greece these
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girls were seniors in high school
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and this one girl goes
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after i said something about school in
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greece and how different it is from
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school in the us she goes
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oh my god it's so weird i feel like
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you're like from a whole another country
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because i am
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and that was when i realized that
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education in the us
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is a scam
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i'm kind of curious what is the dumbest
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thing an american has ever said to you
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so i was in san diego last year i was at
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a service station just filling up the
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car with petrol and i got up to the
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cashier and i'm like oh yeah just the
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petrol thanks mate and he goes oh [ __ ]
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is that an accident where you from i'm
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just from australia
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oh wow that's like a really long way
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away so
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did you fly here or did you drive here
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hmm
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uh a flu
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yeah it's probably a little bit too far
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to drive isn't it
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i think about this all the bloody time
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like a howdy
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what
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what is the dumbest thing an american
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has ever said to you so i am from italy
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but i have lived and worked in the
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united states for a while
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one day this guy comes up to me and he's
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like
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how do you become a mafia member
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and i'm like a mafia member out
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what it was like yeah is there like an
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interview to do is there like
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someone you go to to apply
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and i'm like what
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apply in the mafia
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this man grown ass man
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thought the being in the mafia was just
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a regular job just like being an
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assistant or a teacher or a doctor
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do you really think we have mafia
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universities here in italy or
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do we just show up at the mafia boss
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being like yo dude i want to work for
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you and he's like yeah sure let's go
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kill some people hello
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i'm kind of curious what is the dumbest
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thing an american has ever said to you
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i mean
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no shade to americans because i do dumb
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[ __ ] all the time but i once had a lady
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comment on a post when i said
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thank god it's friday and she said
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it's thursday hun and i said
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no
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in australia it's friday and then she
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accused me of gaslighting her
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to which i answered i'm gonna blow your
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mind when i tell you that it's actually
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summer in australia too
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while you're in winter and then she
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called me a terrorist
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i'm kind of curious what is the dumbest
00:04:14
thing an american has ever said to you
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okay so true story when i was a teenager
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i was in arizona visiting my best friend
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who lived out there and i was there for
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the summer and
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we met this girl and she complimented my
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top and she was like oh i really like
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your top where'd you get it and i was
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like singapore
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she goes oh
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is that a mall
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and i look at her and i was like
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no it's in asia and i kid you not she
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goes
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is asia a mall
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i'm kind of curious what is the dumbest
00:04:49
thing an american has ever said to you
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so first of all i think i could probably
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make an entire series on this because
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i've been in america for a while and
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i've heard some pretty crazy things when
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i went to high school i went to boarding
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school in utah and on the first day we
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were in class and the teacher came in
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and went through role and as the teacher
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was going through role they told us that
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if you come from a country where english
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is not your first language i'm going to
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write your name down and you're not
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going to get graded as harshly because
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we don't think it's fair i'm thinking
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wow that's like really good for them you
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know especially a couple of these students they're struggling to speak
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english in the time that i've met them
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and talking to them so he gets to me
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finally on the roll and he says bailey
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has it yes here uh i'm from australia
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and he goes ah australia and he turns
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around and writes my name down i'm
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thinking what's going on everyone starts
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kind of talking around i'm like shut
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up i went in with a 2.9 gpa my junior
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year i graduated with a 4.0 what is the
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dumbest thing an american has ever said
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to you
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oh i love your chinese accent
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i'm french
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born and raised i'm kind of curious what
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is the dumbest thing an american has
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ever said to you
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okay so i tell this story like all the
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[ __ ] time but basically i'm from
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spain which is in europe for those that
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don't know and um my senior year of high
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school i was a foreign exchange student
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in vegas in nevada and i was in my math
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class and this girl that was like
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um like white blue eyes blonde hair
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and she comes to me she's like um
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she said something like is there a lot
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of people that look like me in spain
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so i said yeah most people look like me
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but there are some people that look like
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you because she was blonde blue eyes
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like you said
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and she was like yeah cause you guys are
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not white there's some [ __ ] like that
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and i was like i am white like
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hello
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and she was like yeah but not really
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white but there's some white people
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because you guys were colonized and i
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was like
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like honey we are the colonizers
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i'm kind of curious what is the dumbest
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thing an american has ever said to you
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so i live in cancun mexico and i've been
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working with american tourism for around
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six years now and there was this time
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when a guy in his 40s came to the resort
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i was working in it was his first time
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in mexico and he told me he wanted to
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book some tours so i started writing
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down all the tours he wanted to do he
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told me he wanted to visit chichen itza
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tulum and machu picchu so i stopped
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writing and told him machu picchu was
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not in mexico it was in peru and he
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asked me how much would it take to get
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there in a taxi i told him it would take
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around from five to six hours by plane
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and he was so mad he began complaining
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that how come if we also had mayan ruins
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no one told him machu picchu was not
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here
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what is the dumbest thing an american
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has ever said to you okay so this is
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when i was working in a bar in edinburgh
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many many years ago and this guy
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kept on saying this american dude was
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and he was like uh you're not scottish
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you're not well he didn't say scottish
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it's scotch you're not scotch i'm a
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scotch american because my last name i
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saw on a clan map
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and so that's how i know where my clan
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comes from i've never seen your name on
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a clan map
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i was born at the [ __ ] inverness
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general hospital you need that
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what is the dumbest thing an american
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has ever said to you
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so i was raised in australia and i moved
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to the us when i was almost 11 years old
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and in eighth grade this girl asked me
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like oh where is australia and i was
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like oh like america's here australia is
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here like they're two separate
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continents two separate countries and
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she was like oh but like
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where is australia and i was like
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america's here australia's here and she
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was like but like where in america is
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australia and i was like
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it's not in america it's a different
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country a different continent like
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america's here australia is here and she
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was like but like what state is it in
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like is that like a city or a state and
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i was like
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it's neither it's a different country
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and she was like but like america's the
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whole world and i was like no baby girl
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it's not
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she really thought that america was the
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whole world and that australia was in
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america and like
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the us education system sucks so they're
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all [ __ ] idiots what's a piece of
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information that you learned that feels
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illegal to know oh if you have like six
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months to spare and you email ikea and
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be like hey i think i'm missing a piece
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of this table set slowly one by one
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piece by piece month by month you get
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that table for free what's one really
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bad thing you did as a child that you
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kept secret for your entire life and
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didn't tell nobody
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i have too many of these okay and a lot
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of them involved my grandma's house as
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you guys know my mom used to wear two
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three jobs and she had to sometimes
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leave me over there she hated it i hated
00:09:27
it it was the whole thing my grandma was
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very abusive verbally and physically so
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one day i got a cigarette and she took
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like eight medications
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i'm gonna burn in hell for this one day
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she was really mean to me so i dumped
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out all of her medications onto the
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dining room table shook them up and then
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mixed them all together and started to
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pour them back into their various
00:09:46
bottles making sure that they didn't go
00:09:48
into the bottles they were supposed to
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go
00:09:50
thinking to myself it don't matter which
00:09:52
one she grabbed she grabbed it oh well
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is she not supposed to take that one oh
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well i don't care also thinking to
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myself if she died oh well
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i was five
00:10:01
mom knows this story the only reason she
00:10:03
stopped is because my aunt caught me it
00:10:05
was like the time i tried to set the
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house
00:10:07
turning the oven on and shutting all the
00:10:09
windows going outside and waiting uncle
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stop that one
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hey if you've had pretty privilege like
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your whole life can you stitch this and
00:10:18
yes girl let's talk about it because it
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needs to be talked about okay so let me
00:10:21
get my credentials out of the way really
00:10:23
quickly a few years ago i looked like
00:10:24
this now i look like this and that has
00:10:26
given me the power to experience both
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the best and the words that pretty
00:10:29
privilege has to offer also not to go
00:10:32
super psychological on y'all at nine
00:10:33
o'clock in the morning look up the halo
00:10:35
effect on google and learn more about
00:10:36
this so now let's talk about what pretty
00:10:38
privilege actually looks like it could
00:10:40
be it's little subtle things that you
00:10:41
wouldn't notice before so for example
00:10:44
i'm not being charged for that extra
00:10:45
drink or dessert at a restaurant um
00:10:47
having someone offered to put the air in
00:10:49
your tires rather than see you struggle
00:10:51
doing it and you can tell me like oh my
00:10:53
god kelsey like maybe people are just
00:10:54
good or maybe they're just doing a good
00:10:56
deed and i'm okay i'm with you they're
00:10:58
doing a good deed but why didn't they do
00:10:59
a good deed when i was 257 pounds huh
00:11:02
why did all of a sudden all these good
00:11:04
deeds start happening to me this the
00:11:05
moment i look like this because i went
00:11:07
from like one good deed happening to me
00:11:08
to a year to ten of them happening to me
00:11:10
in a week that's not a coincidence
00:11:12
what has someone said to you that will
00:11:13
stick with you forever just because you
00:11:15
have lost me as a friend does not mean
00:11:17
you have gained me as an enemy i still
00:11:19
want to see you eat just not at my table
00:11:22
tell me the most unfortunate name you've
00:11:24
ever run across
00:11:25
i
00:11:26
have been waiting for this one so my
00:11:28
last name is his [ __ ] like his [ __ ] like
00:11:31
that's my government name
00:11:33
um
00:11:34
and i thought that that was interesting
00:11:36
until
00:11:38
i realized my aunt's name is sharon
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so for a while until she got married
00:11:43
she was um legally sharing his [ __ ]
00:11:47
and i just think that i think about that
00:11:50
quite frequently
00:11:51
what's a piece of life advice someone
00:11:53
has given you that has stuck with you
00:11:54
throughout the years
00:11:55
all right so when i was like 19 my
00:11:57
mentor tyrone told me
00:11:59
he wanted me to write down my ideal
00:12:01
partner we were talking about dating and
00:12:03
he said i want you to write down the
00:12:04
ideal woman for your life that you want
00:12:06
all the characteristics all the
00:12:08
qualities forget everybody you've ever
00:12:09
dated forget anybody you have in mind
00:12:12
write your ideal down
00:12:13
so i did this
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and what he said to me when i gave him
00:12:17
the paper was he basically put a mirror
00:12:20
in front of me and said
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now go be that person because if you met
00:12:24
this woman right now
00:12:25
she would run from you
00:12:28
fast forward 10 years
00:12:30
she ain't running
00:12:32
[ __ ] running
00:12:34
go work on yourself growing up i was
00:12:36
always told the tattoo should have
00:12:37
meanings so stitch this and show me your
00:12:39
most meaningless tattoo
00:12:43
i like breakfast
00:12:46
a lot
00:12:47
let's consider trash if you're poor but
00:12:49
classy okay this is really old but kind
00:12:51
of still relevant but everything
00:12:53
minority kids had to wear because they
00:12:55
were poor i'm talking reebok i'm talking
00:12:57
fila i'm talking champion shoelaces as
00:13:00
belts so imagine me and my mom's
00:13:02
surprised when we walked into an urban
00:13:04
outfitters what we were doing in urban
00:13:05
outfitters i would never fully know we
00:13:07
saw a champion sweater for 60 dollars
00:13:10
and i will never forget that you could
00:13:11
buy champion for like 10 at walmart and
00:13:14
i would get made fun of for that crap
00:13:16
i'm kind of curious what is the dumbest
00:13:18
thing an american has ever said to you
00:13:20
here's one of mine i remember how much
00:13:22
time you got [ __ ] i could do
00:13:23
this [ __ ] all day
00:13:26
i'm going to florida
00:13:28
oh really are you driving are you flying
00:13:30
i drove and it took me 17 hours 17 hours
00:13:34
how many days is that
00:13:37
i want to visit europe oh really what
00:13:40
countries are you visiting oh you know
00:13:42
the basics no i don't know there's no
00:13:46
tutorial to
00:13:47
visiting countries do you mean italy
00:13:49
france spain portugal
00:13:52
stop it portugal's not in europe
00:13:56
it is however let's pull up a map that
00:13:59
way we know what countries you would
00:14:01
like to visit okay now looking at this
00:14:03
map where would you go i would go to the
00:14:05
netherlands because it's next to
00:14:07
amsterdam it is the capital city of the
00:14:10
netherlands we are looking at a map god
00:14:13
dammit what's an acting performance that
00:14:15
was so good you forgot it was acting
00:14:23
[Music]
00:14:29
[Music]
00:14:42
[Music]
00:14:47
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