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Даг Стенхоуп
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  • ruRussian
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00:00:00
[applause]
00:00:02
thank you oh thank you very much
00:00:06
[applause]
00:00:09
thank you thank you
00:00:12
my name is Doug Scene and I'm a clone from the
00:00:17
United States of America
00:00:19
thank you for welcoming me into your country
00:00:23
I hope you like some of my
00:00:26
smart observations about the differences between my
00:00:31
country and yours
00:00:34
[applause]
00:00:40
funny, even though we speak different
00:00:43
languages,
00:00:44
many of your words are similar to ours but have a
00:00:50
completely different meaning
00:00:53
today at breakfast I was a pile of all
00:00:57
seen jus I thought it was made from apples
00:01:01
but it turned out to be orange the difference is
00:01:06
just like between apples and oranges
00:01:08
thanks for my clever observation
00:01:13
[applause] of
00:01:18
other words is also completely different
00:01:21
meanings, for example, your word
00:01:24
niger of your country, meaning shoes with an
00:01:29
open cape, as I were told, but in my
00:01:33
country it means something completely
00:01:37
differently speaking this is a very offensive racist and
00:01:42
the term and you can come out in my country, an
00:01:48
embarrassment can come out excuse me, salesman, I
00:01:54
would like to take a couple of [ __ ] for a walk on the beach and
00:01:59
he would answer you, what do you think is mine,
00:02:05
stop shut up, stop
00:02:08
interrupting me, thank you for coming to
00:02:14
this hall and in my opinion, we planned to come here
00:02:16
illegally and I think that this hall was even
00:02:20
rented by someone one of these guys knew that there
00:02:23
were chairs here and just broke down the door
00:02:26
and I have a taxi, you were afraid to get out here, I’m
00:02:31
not as drunk as in usual cases
00:02:34
because I calculated the exchange rate, I think damn it, how
00:02:38
much money is not enough to
00:02:42
cut yourself in [ __ ]
00:02:47
today in the morning I got out of bed,
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found my [ __ ] pants, brushed my teeth,
00:02:52
looked out the window and it cost me 240
00:02:55
dollars what the [ __ ] I need to get out of here
00:03:00
bastards
00:03:04
this is a very beautiful city just
00:03:06
wonderful thank you for noticing
00:03:09
800 crowns for what for noticing yes
00:03:14
[ __ ] well it’s amazing
00:03:16
anyway, you’re all cute and beautiful
00:03:20
as always, smiling with clean blond
00:03:25
people here, like in Minnesota, if they
00:03:29
lose 20 kilos there and carry out ethnic
00:03:32
cleansing,
00:03:35
if in Minneapolis,
00:03:37
if Hitler’s personal nutritionist appears briefly about Alice,
00:03:40
then it can be
00:03:43
renamed New Oslo it
00:03:47
is, but you know, when you see all
00:03:51
these sexy blondes for the first time, you think, wow,
00:03:53
everyone here is beautiful, but you are almost
00:03:57
completely out of sight and
00:03:59
would be beautiful, but it’s almost like a child’s
00:04:02
beauty, angelic, pure,
00:04:04
you wouldn’t be considered in the eyes, or I’m
00:04:07
not here, you are so [ __ ] asti
00:04:10
you are practically wasting beauty empty
00:04:13
you need to find yourself an internal support
00:04:16
this is excessive beauty with a friend
00:04:21
causing a boner I think I think that
00:04:26
naked you look like Barbie dolls and without
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nipples and smoothed down there I
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think all of you babies are born already
00:04:37
dry powder will grab clap every
00:04:43
time I do what -I’ll say here I didn’t even say anything
00:04:49
funny I didn’t say too much
00:04:51
react greatly increases my
00:04:54
self-esteem like that I don’t know this is mine
00:04:59
this is my first tour in Europe I’ve been in
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Europe for about seven years unprecedented on this
00:05:05
tour I realized that for the first time I don’t have a
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black bunch of Josh soul hanging over me I
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used to have to apologize all the time,
00:05:16
judging by you, people judge you and
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people think about you, these people think that you are such a
00:05:25
canton, it’s all because of him, because
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if you are an American, then they consider you a
00:05:32
canton and for Bush, just like how you guys
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must feel because of the fact that
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you are the royal family there are still
00:05:41
people all over the world I think what a bunch of
00:05:45
idiots the floor is, what a [ __ ] idiot it is
00:05:51
still a [ __ ] monarchy and what are you
00:05:54
ladies it’s you didn’t want it it’s not our fault
00:05:57
but they don’t understand it everyone thinks that
00:06:00
you probably gather her simpletons
00:06:04
living in the world of a fantasy series from
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digital dragon's with kings and
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princesses,
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maybe you also have wizards who ate
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fire-breathing dragons, it’s not your fault you
00:06:22
constantly laugh at George Bush and
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I understand that you do it ironically, they
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say, how we dare to laugh at any
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democratically elected officials
00:06:33
while we ourselves live in this primitive
00:06:36
servile festival of walking and not sansa
00:06:41
you have a higher family
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oh you loyal dicks
00:06:48
[applause] are you
00:06:50
kidding me or something I adore your last
00:06:55
argument well yes we have a royal family but
00:07:00
they are just wedding generals of attack and
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even worse, you hang around with these
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leech like a sack,
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raised these red carpets in front of them on
00:07:15
Planet 7 and justifying themselves by the fact that
00:07:19
they actually do nothing because of
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this, you all just take a long time and the scourge does not
00:07:27
become Miss America, too, a
00:07:30
wedding siskin general but we don’t buy there are
00:07:33
hundreds of castles at the expense of the taxpayer we didn’t
00:07:37
lose weight and we don’t bow down so little progress
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in the world and it’s not just you and your
00:07:47
royal family the whip needs to move
00:07:49
forward and choose a language for that matter
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I was published in both Sweden and Norway they
00:07:57
could just as easily be New
00:07:59
England, but it was also about the reverse [ __ ] and
00:08:00
living and choosing choose one because of
00:08:03
technology, our world has become so small,
00:08:06
you can even now quietly film
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your dick on your mobile phone camera
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and then send a photo of your dick
00:08:16
to a random address, login mail and
00:08:20
some guy in Malaysia is sitting
00:08:24
like this having breakfast, he has the crap
00:08:27
on his laptop and in the time it took me to
00:08:30
tell this joke you could have already
00:08:34
done all this this world is too small for
00:08:37
seven hundred and eighty-five different languages
00:08:42
to walk around choose one and it doesn’t matter which one we
00:08:45
put them all fleet throne pull out 1 and the
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whole world will learn it the only reason why
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we haven’t done this yet is
00:08:53
[ __ ] heritage and traditions but the
00:08:56
mouth will talk for thousands have been attacking for thousands of
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years what your heritage gave you
00:09:01
what use is it For example, you are bargaining for a
00:09:05
prostitute from the third world, but your
00:09:09
pocket conversation does not
00:09:11
define a clear difference between a goat and a
00:09:15
cancer from right into the ass,
00:09:19
how your heritage will help you avoid a
00:09:22
thrashing from a Bulgarian pimp,
00:09:25
the price, how they are useless, traditions and in
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the end
00:09:30
it is a burden, and once again there will be enough dead people for
00:09:33
it drag move on
00:09:40
catch up [ __ ] and be inventive
00:09:43
and more progressive you are still watching
00:09:47
your argument thinking about the dick this crap is looking for a
00:09:51
caveman invented I still watch it you
00:09:54
don’t beat off why the Olympics still
00:09:56
exist but because you continue to
00:09:57
watch this crap even though it not even
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balem peak passes athletics be
00:10:02
five dudes 2 as if straight you are so
00:10:06
why is this not a sport anymore
00:10:09
what the [ __ ] the Olympics is like an accumulation of
00:10:13
all the components of a sport
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if you combine these actions together it
00:10:19
can turn out to be a real sport we you
00:10:21
separate them what are you doing
00:10:23
throwing objects as far as possible I want
00:10:27
then someone catches him
00:10:30
runs with him they fight for him there is no catching
00:10:33
running and fighting are held separately
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put them together turn them into a sport for
00:10:39
a long time I would half of these species are
00:10:42
not even they are all tied to genetics like
00:10:47
Michael Phelps [ __ ] swimming he is
00:10:49
genetically created to swim faster if he
00:10:53
develops abilities, you can hold the same
00:10:55
competitions among fish and
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the one who is better
00:11:00
adapted kinetically will win, that you can
00:11:04
organize growth competitions,
00:11:08
continue to pretend that this is someone else's
00:11:10
achievement, there is
00:11:12
no place for cunning, resourcefulness of
00:11:15
strategy, well, you behave as if it is so but
00:11:19
this guy from Portugal
00:11:21
will have to work hard to
00:11:23
make up two centimeters to the Ukrainian
00:11:27
favorite if he wants to be higher, it
00:11:30
all really comes down to
00:11:32
who will be more persistent and you hear what the
00:11:40
politicians say here, their programs are
00:11:45
not this, this is not a movement forward, we will create people on
00:11:49
the sidelines with but why Isn’t the ultimate
00:11:53
long-term goal of any society this is
00:11:56
complete freedom from work where
00:11:59
a candidate proposes to create those
00:12:02
proposing to create robots that do
00:12:04
all the [ __ ] for us wasting time on
00:12:08
work they create [ __ ] create machines
00:12:12
so that you can just sit and get fat
00:12:14
from idleness this is what you guys do by
00:12:17
charging 75 bucks for a [ __ ] beer
00:12:20
now you think you're on welfare
00:12:23
all you need is such and such a dozen drinking
00:12:26
tourists a year and now you can sit back
00:12:29
and have fun, you
00:12:32
know, the more a country is told about
00:12:36
its history, the more likely it is that
00:12:40
they haven't achieved any more [ __ ]
00:12:43
we must always develop as a society
00:12:46
as a people as a species [ __ ] death of the pyramids
00:12:51
they built magnificently
00:12:53
and what else have you done since then
00:12:55
nothing still ride camels and
00:12:59
rub your ass flour rose this is
00:13:01
burdensome shoe style so do not
00:13:04
toilet paper would also not refuse
00:13:06
okay you people, [ __ ], the Greeks
00:13:11
invented democracy and there is nothing else to
00:13:14
follow, you come to the film now,
00:13:16
bullets, they do this, they give you
00:13:18
a tour of the place where
00:13:21
democracy appeared, if you please, see, the
00:13:24
Greeks invented [ __ ], shave your entire back, you
00:13:27
still haven’t learned how to
00:13:31
move on, but here you are guys,
00:13:36
Norwegians, progress, you have invented something that
00:13:38
doesn’t stink and judging by my opinion it’s
00:13:41
great
00:13:44
you can bury a dead Norwegian for
00:13:47
six months and then hang her vagina on the
00:13:49
rear view mirror as an air freshener
00:13:52
amazing Norwegian pizza
00:13:56
can even pick up the stink from other
00:13:59
objects you can place it on a pile of
00:14:02
dog [ __ ] and Not only does it
00:14:04
not stink, it will also bring in the stench of a
00:14:07
pile of crap,
00:14:08
both of them will be sterile like a
00:14:10
chlorinated swimming pool, that is,
00:14:13
Wikipedia, I didn’t make this crap up,
00:14:16
it’s there, Wikipedia says it requires
00:14:23
justification,
00:14:25
or rather, here the entry is deleted every morning and
00:14:28
I’m drunk every evening install non-
00:14:30
smelling
00:14:31
rides this is worth admiring
00:14:37
evidence of progress in this all the caustic
00:14:43
social satire to the living room hope jokes in the
00:14:46
background stinking [ __ ]
00:14:49
I don’t care anymore I don’t give a [ __ ] I have
00:14:54
nothing to talk about I’ve been whining
00:14:58
about what’s wrong with the world for 20 years and now I do
00:15:01
n’t want anything except how to joke about
00:15:04
the stars
00:15:05
and all of you what did I care about before when
00:15:09
you make fun of something then the target for
00:15:12
jokes should be worthy and if you are
00:15:15
angry I attack the [ __ ] society of
00:15:19
religions and the rule of law you talk about these
00:15:22
topics and people think about peace he is passionate
00:15:25
he was a ty speaker he cares but
00:15:30
if fix ults hatred you direct into
00:15:32
grumbling like nowadays when you leave you will become a
00:15:35
good pizza that you look like an old
00:15:38
lying [ __ ] that's who I am now grumbling about
00:15:41
how annoying all the boring crap is to the
00:15:44
strength of Jerry Seinfeld
00:15:45
5 I had a good life but all
00:15:47
the hatred remains I sound like a broken
00:15:51
record repeating the same [ __ ] over and over
00:15:53
again
00:15:55
like what's wrong with the airlines our people
00:15:58
on 7 Jerry
00:16:01
Seinfeld Omsk yakhry put on and take off how to
00:16:04
shoot down and that's probably why I don't see a
00:16:06
typical comedy here a lot of people there's no
00:16:09
rage and damn there's no aggression
00:16:13
I don’t know what’s wrong with them, but what’s wrong with the airlines
00:16:16
Jerry managed to answer for this whole party
00:16:18
visit danger snail type bring
00:16:22
sizwe christ driver the position of who she
00:16:23
loves Jerry there must be someone
00:16:26
someone who is responsible for this
00:16:28
and we’ll find out who it is and sagem him with a headlight
00:16:31
kidnapped his children Jerry who is my [ __ ]
00:16:34
nobody you can do nothing about this
00:16:37
its own comedy you just noticed it and
00:16:40
passed by they taught yes I noticed who I do
00:16:44
n’t want to kill dicks
00:16:45
and now I see you like a [ __ ]
00:16:48
irrational it’s quite
00:16:52
rational I’m sitting in on an airplane it costs more energy
00:16:54
and you will grow to root for the stupidity they
00:16:57
announce don’t forget that smoking is
00:17:00
prohibited on board but I’ve known this for 25 years
00:17:04
[ __ ] it again he remind a
00:17:06
shitload of other things illegal what exactly is
00:17:09
this about and how long will
00:17:13
it be like this on a bus in
00:17:14
modern America, declare according to
00:17:18
government decree, people of color
00:17:20
can sit wherever they want, yes, I know
00:17:23
this has already been half a century, a long time has passed, you will
00:17:27
repeat this again ruble you start the market,
00:17:32
because to everyone like that you look so quiet,
00:17:35
but all these little things Yakunin and Vesya, I
00:17:40
just want to kill a lot of people,
00:17:45
I too often think about killing, I
00:17:48
go on stage as if in a trance,
00:17:51
if someone irritates or enrages me, I
00:17:54
just think about how to kill them in the most
00:17:58
intricate way, my imagination pictures a
00:18:01
murder in the style of a saw movie,
00:18:04
this is the type of murder I see when I do a
00:18:09
show on autopilot I pronounce the words and everyone
00:18:13
laughs, well, I see some [ __ ] with a
00:18:16
camera on his cell phone, what the
00:18:19
[ __ ] are you doing, you’re here and
00:18:23
now, the [ __ ] you’re filming this, you’re already
00:18:26
here and rubbed your nose,
00:18:30
well, I love going to concerts, but
00:18:33
I prefer to watch later at home
00:18:35
laptop and put the [ __ ] away the camera stupid
00:18:40
tell urist life and a
00:18:43
whole generation of [ __ ] filming love
00:18:47
and not with whom they are engaged and I’ll look
00:18:52
later I need documentary
00:18:57
proof that I left the house
00:19:01
skirt [ __ ] before I liked comedy much
00:19:04
more because I could be
00:19:06
completely honest I went out on
00:19:09
he shared the scene with such [ __ ] cases
00:19:12
that he wouldn’t open up to anyone, but
00:19:14
he told you about it, because you wildly 8 acquaintances don’t know,
00:19:17
for example, about how she [ __ ] some
00:19:20
[ __ ] last night in some
00:19:23
[ __ ] drug addicted shabby
00:19:25
neighborhood
00:19:26
and my girlfriend won’t recognize and won’t you know,
00:19:30
so I can tell you, I could
00:19:33
tell you about illegal crap from
00:19:35
the stage, but I can’t do that anymore because
00:19:37
there will always be some
00:19:38
[ __ ] [ __ ] with a camera on his mobile, an
00:19:40
encrypting zapruder for beggars, I’m
00:19:46
here for him, that’s all my girlfriend’s sister is
00:19:50
absolutely [ __ ] creatures was about
00:19:54
I told her a complete story and the
00:19:56
next day on YouTube
00:19:58
such a sauna will be signed dax full by
00:20:01
my girlfriend’s sister mu.
00:20:03
and the sister of a girl like this is dating a
00:20:07
cube Dougham Stanhope am we’ll watch it
00:20:10
on YouTube
00:20:12
so what do we have here, a [ __ ]
00:20:15
transvit
00:20:16
and then a girl with a banana and what is it
00:20:20
like if I buy a fishing rod for a girl for gas with
00:20:23
a whip you ruined my life because
00:20:27
all this filmed if the apocalypse happened if
00:20:32
they were flying armageddon these [ __ ] will strike
00:20:35
right away this product is the case baby this is the end of
00:20:38
the world already on youtube a lot of views
00:20:43
I will be [ __ ] into a hopeless tourist and
00:20:50
below you I am this guy with a camera and picking up
00:20:53
on the stage
00:20:55
there is a long awkward pause while I
00:20:58
think how to kill him in the most
00:21:01
incredible ways, you need to impale him
00:21:06
on a rotating dildo
00:21:11
straitjacket upside down, and the only
00:21:16
way to keep the dildo lubricated is
00:21:19
to knock down castor oil
00:21:21
from a huge rat drinking bowl, after which the
00:21:26
liquid is washed off, thereby lubricating you yourself,
00:21:30
if he remains unlubricated, the
00:21:34
guy’s glasses, you give him a rush, no the intestines
00:21:37
get wet on the dildo like cotton candy
00:21:42
[applause]
00:21:44
and here people are so good that you’re on the stage
00:21:55
of hell, forgive me, ask again, you’re
00:21:57
only thinking about
00:21:58
people, well, yes, before in his
00:22:05
speeches he proposed various solutions, he
00:22:07
came up with a social problem and copied it
00:22:10
in detail and then offered a solution in the
00:22:13
middle I inserted a joke about [ __ ] with my fist
00:22:16
and for it to pass under the guise of a comedy,
00:22:19
now I think, [ __ ] it, we’ll just kill
00:22:22
a bunch of people, you have a lot of stories about
00:22:25
mass murders of a shooter,
00:22:27
I despise such cowardice, I’m in this and the
00:22:33
victims are also venues, because all these shootings
00:22:35
happen exclusively in lousy
00:22:37
absolutely lousy places it's your own
00:22:41
fault for ending up in a place like this
00:22:43
shooting at work school churches like you
00:22:49
shouldn't have been there at all these lousy places
00:22:51
stay fun places you've
00:22:54
never heard of a strip
00:22:59
bar shooting or a massacre at a car race stay
00:23:05
in the fun zones there thousand of safety
00:23:08
[applause]
00:23:18
after you and Finland, I
00:23:23
’ve never been there, well, I’m looking forward to it,
00:23:26
I’m really very interested because I learned
00:23:30
about Finland that it is one of the most
00:23:34
prosperous countries and there is one of the
00:23:38
highest levels of suicide and this
00:23:43
logic is clear to me, jump off while you’re lucky a
00:23:48
great life begins to decline
00:23:54
they cash in [ __ ] drop by drop every player
00:23:58
knows after a long period of crap there is
00:24:01
always a recession so it’s [ __ ]
00:24:05
like with a car that’s been beat up after
00:24:07
500 thousand kilometers you know what’s worth a
00:24:10
long time ago it’s completely falling apart so why
00:24:12
not throw it away right away you should have
00:24:18
missed it this joke
00:24:22
would have worked better in Finland,
00:24:24
maybe I don’t know, in my opinion, in my opinion, I
00:24:29
burned out the cough of death, but how long can I
00:24:37
[ __ ] live, God, how long
00:24:40
will I not do this, you won’t think about
00:24:42
why he’s filming a show in Norway,
00:24:47
you guys already had it there is everything
00:24:50
10 years after I was popular I
00:24:52
need to move further to the east and
00:24:58
Brian what about countries where English
00:25:01
is the third language maybe they got it for
00:25:04
working with this material Latvia how
00:25:09
about Latvia or Spain maybe straight to
00:25:14
[ __ ] Burma let’s do that
00:25:17
stale bread for scraping, well, in general,
00:25:21
I somehow started
00:25:23
an extension to my house and
00:25:26
at first I planned to make a
00:25:29
running gear out of it, like that,
00:25:32
things there, chip in like that, and my
00:25:35
friend signed up to help build, but we
00:25:37
got stuck at the end of the day, we started building, nothing
00:25:41
more, wait a minute - maybe instead of a
00:25:44
storage room they built a larger one in
00:25:48
Odessa,
00:25:49
but wait a minute, maybe
00:25:51
we’ll build a recording studio and build a terrace at the top, and in
00:25:57
short it turned out to be a shitty and expensive 10-
00:26:00
month construction,
00:26:03
it was right before the elections and the guy
00:26:07
who delivered the materials
00:26:09
showed up regularly and he’s not one of those who will do
00:26:14
his own [ __ ] work and
00:26:15
yourself first, he states everything he
00:26:20
thinks about the world,
00:26:22
this was right before the elections and he
00:26:25
says, but it’s worth a lot of money, it’s better
00:26:29
to spend it all while you still can, and that is, will
00:26:32
Obama choose all your money for
00:26:35
taxes and then I just want
00:26:40
to speak like the devil's advocate,
00:26:42
Obama is nevertheless for the right to abortion, and
00:26:46
if it weren't for abortions,
00:26:48
I wouldn't have this from the smart one
00:26:52
that I threw away and not the mandatory
00:26:57
rations, but the annex,
00:27:00
if it weren't for the abortion, all the money over
00:27:03
the terrace would have gone to some hearts
00:27:07
for dental braces or a [ __ ] scholarship
00:27:11
and later possibly to pay for an abortion
00:27:14
so that she doesn’t show her life like me,
00:27:18
but when you don’t have children there’s
00:27:20
extra money left over from [ __ ] taxes, there’s
00:27:24
money left over for a concert and Norwegian beer and
00:27:27
you’ll have children, maybe you can get
00:27:29
drunk in in Norway,
00:27:35
although drunkenness is not only something to
00:27:38
strive for as an indicator of financial
00:27:41
success,
00:27:47
if you don’t have a child, then you have a lot of extra
00:27:50
money and it’s good for the environment, I
00:27:54
know in Norway everyone is obsessed with the environment,
00:27:56
you have a lot of strict rules and regulations for
00:27:59
recycling and all sorts of other crap, but
00:28:02
how much you can have
00:28:04
as many children as you want when all the other crap is
00:28:07
pointless your uterus is the most
00:28:11
intense polluters
00:28:13
and planets yes we are all derivatives of your
00:28:17
uterus longer lasting for the planet than in the juice of
00:28:23
chemical plants one [ __ ] even if
00:28:28
you recycle waste to an
00:28:31
optimal state one child
00:28:33
still increases your carbon footprint
00:28:35
40 times when you see a hybrid car
00:28:39
next time with a child seat rob and
00:28:42
yachty glass this ramble is like
00:28:46
fight club
00:28:47
steal the seat leaving a condom in its place
00:28:51
and see if they get
00:28:54
your message
00:28:55
because each of these smug ultrasound
00:28:58
plan pretends to be looking for a solution
00:29:00
then while they themselves are the problem
00:29:03
you [ __ ] have the whole problem ladies if you
00:29:05
have a child you can ride in a convoy of
00:29:08
ice hammer of to work and back in a
00:29:12
whole funeral procession in a dozen
00:29:15
Hummers cut circles around the block
00:29:17
looking for a parking space throwing
00:29:20
McDonald's Omsk bags out of the window you
00:29:22
stick out bags your ass out the window and always
00:29:25
packing foam into the atmosphere and
00:29:28
still you won’t cause
00:29:31
half the damage to this planet that
00:29:35
one stupid child causes,
00:29:38
excuse me [applause]
00:29:41
damn it, and I see a good audience,
00:29:45
all the pauses in the [ __ ] are allowed by having
00:29:51
a child, you are not only ruining the
00:29:54
environment but you also devalue humanity,
00:29:57
people are like any other object, the
00:30:00
more of them the less they are worth. It’s strange to
00:30:04
hear old people complaining that there was a
00:30:08
close-knit community when we grew up here in the
00:30:11
forties, this neighborhood lived together and everyone
00:30:14
knew each other by name, I met
00:30:17
someone
00:30:18
and took pictures your hat good morning Mrs.
00:30:20
Robinson and everyone knew the postmen and
00:30:24
now everyone is very rude and selfish no one
00:30:29
talks to anyone and the movie is
00:30:32
different and you know why the ladies when
00:30:34
it was a [ __ ] area
00:30:35
you whittled 10 each so that they sent their children
00:30:38
too ten [ __ ] children each
00:30:40
and now it’s just a
00:30:42
concentration camp of [ __ ] people [ __ ] baby
00:30:46
scene this currency of illusions isn’t worth a damn anymore
00:30:51
kittens imagine you have a
00:30:53
little kitten at home he’s very happy with you
00:30:59
I still don’t want a serious
00:31:03
relationship why do we need this serious
00:31:05
relationship with ice sheets you get
00:31:09
real joy from this kitten
00:31:11
but imagine that you returned home and
00:31:15
suddenly there are 675 kittens in a one-room
00:31:20
apartment and you are like his mouth will survive can
00:31:24
ships walk counting damn it
00:31:27
Kevin drag my golf shoes
00:31:29
today we will [ __ ] they want to dry
00:31:38
[ __ ] hang about the apocalypse
00:31:42
today in the doorway so that the rest of the
00:31:46
kittens are afraid and the kittens aren’t
00:31:50
worth [ __ ] you devalued them by creating this crap
00:31:54
poverty
00:31:56
[applause]
00:31:58
[music]
00:31:59
[applause] you do
00:32:06
n’t have to worry about this anymore
00:32:08
because we have Obama,
00:32:11
this is such progress, he does such cute
00:32:15
stupid things even he is [ __ ] small and there is nothing special to laugh about
00:32:22
but it doesn’t matter who the hell he is there
00:32:26
he closed then who is it nice
00:32:28
many family members to go home
00:32:31
now but he doesn’t solve the main problems like
00:32:36
no one else he is the first black president is
00:32:40
n’t that progress is not that little things
00:32:43
little things only this is personal progress 1
00:32:47
black president 1 [ __ ] bullfighter the
00:32:51
first women from baseball players then this is not a
00:32:55
movement forward interracial relations
00:32:58
in fact nothing has changed,
00:33:01
racism has remained the same security in the shopping
00:33:04
center we give it and tasks graphs and under
00:33:06
Obama prison gangs are not began to divide
00:33:10
by zodiac sign
00:33:12
or favorite of the Jonas brothers
00:33:15
still by skin color
00:33:17
no [ __ ] difference racism is still the same I
00:33:21
like it when minorities
00:33:24
tell me that I can’t understand racism
00:33:27
because I’m white like I have no concept of Russia for
00:33:31
bits
00:33:32
not like us it heard that they were talking
00:33:36
[ __ ] about you when you left the room
00:33:43
[applause]
00:33:44
[music]
00:33:45
they don't refrain from everything over me
00:33:50
but you will never understand true
00:33:53
discrimination unless you're scary,
00:33:58
how do you know that admit the freaks from
00:34:01
experience discrimination more [ __ ]
00:34:05
than any of the minorities they don’t they don’t have
00:34:09
no god [ __ ] Jesus
00:34:13
how I hate recording that weight
00:34:17
I hate recording leagues or sitting
00:34:20
always feel unnatural
00:34:23
[ __ ] uncomfortable I don’t know why
00:34:30
scary people if you encounter the
00:34:33
same problem that other
00:34:37
minorities complain about or for example well water here for
00:34:42
example, you are equally
00:34:44
qualified for a job and a
00:34:46
freak and a handsome man are applying for it, the handsome man
00:34:49
gets the job, but there’s no water and
00:34:52
nowhere to complain, you don’t have any group
00:34:56
fighting for your right, it’s even a
00:34:59
[ __ ] coalition of freaks in America, it’s
00:35:02
obvious that you gave this place
00:35:06
to the handsome one while the scary one
00:35:09
applied earlier there is no unity among
00:35:12
the scary ones we are not going to conventions
00:35:15
for some Turkish march of millions of
00:35:18
freaks the freaks don’t even nod to each other
00:35:22
when meeting in a shopping center like a freak they
00:35:25
attached outside you can define a person
00:35:30
so loda
00:35:32
trying to start a friendly conversation in airport bar
00:35:37
and you're a freak, me too, we have an attic from where you
00:35:40
remember beautiful people are not even a
00:35:43
minority and after all, the majority
00:35:44
we are still for 2 hours [ __ ] any of the
00:35:52
minorities would rather get the
00:35:55
worst Russian mark than be considered
00:35:59
unattractive someone called 8 grams
00:36:04
right there unfuckable and the crowd gathered to
00:36:07
love him told someone to call themselves
00:36:11
[ __ ] we are looking for attracted see and deal with
00:36:14
it yourself as you know, like this year they
00:36:21
found a woman there was some kind of expedition
00:36:26
on the British Isles in England or where
00:36:30
this hoodie is located
00:36:34
some researchers probably and they climbed to a
00:36:37
remote part of the island and they were there
00:36:42
living in one terrible singing homeland, all
00:36:48
this was on the Internet, they found this
00:36:50
ugly woman, [ __ ] up, mixing up the singing of
00:36:54
her mother, they placed her in the hold of a ship and
00:36:57
took
00:36:58
her big city, all the townspeople came running to see
00:37:05
her, they brought her on the globe stage, all the townspeople they got
00:37:08
drunk and came to look, they brought her out in
00:37:13
shackles and she was all over
00:37:17
and there was a lot of Kin Kong powder, but they
00:37:21
brought her out in front of the evil townspeople and they were
00:37:25
like the townspeople
00:37:28
shouting at her, booing, throwing themselves at not
00:37:32
everyone and perhaps this is a
00:37:34
self-defense mechanism, but the ugly one began to sing
00:37:38
and she began to sing like a beautiful angel, with
00:37:44
how much the townspeople fell silent
00:37:47
and applauded her, they stood there and it
00:37:50
was supposed to be very
00:37:53
touching and such a
00:37:56
heart-tugging story, but it’s not a
00:37:58
heart-tugging story, but it doesn’t influence the terrible
00:38:01
Anapa,
00:38:02
what kind of [ __ ] people in general, there’s not a damn
00:38:09
touching thing there
00:38:11
if you’re on the same show instead singing there would be a
00:38:15
competition to pronounce words by letter and
00:38:18
they would bring the black one to pronounce the words
00:38:21
hypothesis and the whole crowd is such a story, it's a real piece of
00:38:27
[ __ ] and it doesn't matter
00:38:34
how much the audience applauds him
00:38:37
when he doesn't cope with the task and they
00:38:40
understand everyone was wrong it won't be a
00:38:42
heartbreaking story it will be a
00:38:44
story about what kind of [ __ ] this humanity is,
00:38:47
but alas, she wasn’t black,
00:38:50
just scary as [ __ ], so thank
00:38:54
God at least here she knew how and remember the lesson
00:39:04
that Susan Boyle taught us
00:39:07
before you judge and give a beautiful person
00:39:11
a minute to saturate the melody
00:39:15
or dance if he can’t do it let's bite
00:39:20
the scary side because it's [ __ ]
00:39:27
terrible for us, we live in a world that's just
00:39:32
terrible,
00:39:33
people are just a huge piece of [ __ ],
00:39:36
some of them were normal, and if
00:39:40
you're lucky, you'll be able to find a small
00:39:42
group with whom you can even communicate,
00:39:44
but for the most part they're [ __ ] with tincture,
00:39:47
which doesn't matter how much we are developed in science
00:39:50
and technology in ours in our world there are some
00:39:55
who keep GPS and crucifixes on 1
00:39:59
dashboard and you think there
00:40:02
is still some hope for these [ __ ] playing pranks
00:40:09
on my humanity this humanity
00:40:18
turned out as a result I were
00:40:21
aliens from monkeys millions of years ago
00:40:24
and this planet I think the then planet
00:40:28
earth was a very popular place for
00:40:32
intergalactic sex tourism, any
00:40:38
lonely space trucker or
00:40:42
any alien bachelor party
00:40:46
could [ __ ] have cages at any time with
00:40:48
Jack and [ __ ]
00:40:51
at Jenny's his last night of freedom before
00:40:58
he's taken somewhere [ __ ] up to have an
00:41:01
order of magnitude of course
00:41:04
I found a rk to hit the road, it’s a public
00:41:08
toilet, if you go into a stall and there
00:41:11
is one or a weak one, in fact, these are black
00:41:15
holes, black holes of glory, at such a
00:41:19
height in the dire
00:41:20
stall and you stick your dick in this black hole
00:41:24
and he comes out in another time and
00:41:27
space and sports in a parallel
00:41:30
universe anonymously at the expense of your own dick and pretend
00:41:35
that it’s a Christmas tree, or we’ll save a couple of
00:41:42
bucks and fly to earth and [ __ ]
00:41:45
monkeys of some kind of savings,
00:41:59
in short, the aliens came here and didn’t
00:42:03
[ __ ] a bunch of monkeys and as a result,
00:42:06
small sloping flaws appeared,
00:42:08
semi-aliens so we all have an
00:42:12
alien part of the brain containing
00:42:15
logic, rationality and foresight,
00:42:18
but they were never developed because the
00:42:21
alien dad rushed like a bullet to his
00:42:24
planet, burning with shame, smoking cigarettes and
00:42:27
trying to come up with a plausible excuse
00:42:30
on the topic here I was, they disappeared all
00:42:31
weekend
00:42:32
and [ __ ] they came back to develop the
00:42:35
alien part of the brain could the baby be
00:42:37
raised by half-aliens a
00:42:40
single monkey mother, perhaps, and adopted
00:42:42
monkey fathers who I liked
00:42:45
the child because they understood that they did
00:42:47
not develop them they
00:42:49
animal nature is your animal my
00:42:52
stomach instinct go with your
00:42:55
friends and the streets with a beam on the stone I
00:42:59
dance I’m working on the fire, come on,
00:43:02
slobber, we need to take it, it’s harmful to work and
00:43:05
don’t mock the weak, it’s your
00:43:07
animal nature, go sow your own
00:43:12
baby, graze it wherever
00:43:15
you can, in fact, I did the calculations and
00:43:18
found out that if we continue to
00:43:20
multiply aimlessly, we won’t have enough
00:43:23
space and in the end we will exhaust resources and
00:43:27
minerals and even living
00:43:30
space and what did I do, following
00:43:33
my human nature or an animal,
00:43:37
well, I guess the alien part of the brain
00:43:40
will have to ignore [ __ ] this must
00:43:45
be the most flawed [ __ ] animal
00:43:48
instinct,
00:43:50
so I am something but the people are it beats, but
00:43:55
if I want something more strongly, which
00:43:59
happens almost never,
00:44:01
then I have a feeling as if this is an
00:44:03
industry or production of some kind,
00:44:07
God, if people just
00:44:09
and up close don’t bother with all these
00:44:12
attached songs and dances, we
00:44:14
already have colonies on Mars or we
00:44:16
collected all the energy
00:44:18
that we spent on at least trying to
00:44:20
have sex without already pressing to look at the
00:44:22
earth, everyone is reluctant to have a scene of the earth,
00:44:27
although with the film, even a nanny, I’m not against [ __ ]
00:44:31
in porn,
00:44:32
if you want to see the earth in the cinema,
00:44:35
watch pornography,
00:44:37
that’s what it’s intended for, but in
00:44:39
a movie about a bank robbery for shining,
00:44:44
and it’s not even the best
00:44:47
I’ll want to see spruce porn I’ll watch it,
00:44:49
no one will watch porn
00:44:51
openly and tell friends
00:44:54
and family about it Libra has watched such porn
00:44:57
people watch porn on the sly, do they
00:44:59
watch it at all so that’s what they
00:45:01
do they they scatter the earth in snatches
00:45:06
of mainstream films where it has no place
00:45:08
what does bank robbery and threads
00:45:11
have nothing to do with it at all stop I didn’t put the
00:45:15
bank robbery scene porn watch
00:45:20
this room what the [ __ ] I’ll cure it I just
00:45:29
watched it I [ __ ] watched one movie
00:45:32
called Mongolian saw a Mongolian
00:45:34
biographical film about the youth of
00:45:37
Genghis Khan of 1180 [ __ ] year there he
00:45:41
travels around Mongolia and in and poor or
00:45:45
buy crashes a bunch of people all with subtitles
00:45:49
or
00:45:52
so there are no subtitles I don’t like to
00:45:54
watch but it was a good film I
00:45:56
thought damn cool movie and a [ __ ] scene
00:46:00
right in the middle of the film why is he and a movie
00:46:01
about [ __ ] Genghis Khan, I read about
00:46:04
Genghis Khan on Wikipedia and there
00:46:07
was no mention of the fact that in the middle of his life
00:46:10
he broke into some hut and tore off some
00:46:14
women there, like that
00:46:17
and subtitles, it’s the
00:46:25
same [ __ ] medieval barbecue of the
00:46:29
edges and the concept wasn’t even there
00:46:32
dude for a year and a half Schreiber
00:46:36
glare on the back I'll tell them no
00:46:43
shower no toilet paper at all damn
00:46:46
almost through the screen a little like this terrible why are
00:46:52
you also in the skin I have no idea what
00:46:57
you mean it's
00:46:58
for the better otherwise I didn't know what
00:47:01
else to say I was
00:47:02
running awkward pause that almost
00:47:06
happened thanks to you so that you
00:47:08
put yourself as idiots instead of me
00:47:10
thanks for your help
00:47:11
come show up I’m here I don’t
00:47:15
[ __ ] anymore because I don’t want old nasty ones
00:47:18
anymore I have something that
00:47:22
many guys my age don’t have,
00:47:24
namely you and self-comprehension, I know what
00:47:29
I can bring to the earth, this is not the most
00:47:32
pleasant thing, I don’t want this too
00:47:33
often, the court, as with pornography,
00:47:36
let’s say you have a [ __ ] hard-on, decided to jerk off,
00:47:39
treat this as a medical
00:47:41
condition, what it essentially is
00:47:43
anyway, Steve himself hide quickly
00:47:45
and then you return to your
00:47:46
logical thinking and then you find a
00:47:50
porn video on youporn or
00:47:52
some other [ __ ] resource from which you
00:47:54
jerk off, you think about whoa, stupid, everything that I
00:47:56
like, she’s all persinger on the latex shelves,
00:48:01
[ __ ] herself in the ass with a dildo,
00:48:03
looking straight at
00:48:05
the camera is talking to you, you sit there,
00:48:09
you jerk off until
00:48:10
you jerk off until
00:48:15
she knows for sure, well, I do it just
00:48:20
like a TV telepath, it’s so
00:48:22
bright, everything is perfect, but then in the middle some
00:48:25
fat middle-aged [ __ ] comes
00:48:28
to take part in the [ __ ],
00:48:30
his whole back is hairy, he’s a lot
00:48:33
He tells you too, I’ll make yours,
00:48:38
I’ll make you, you’re ruining everything here,
00:48:44
completely [ __ ] up the moment, that’s the same way
00:48:47
I perceive myself in any sexual
00:48:50
situation,
00:48:53
[ __ ] yes, with my presence I’m knocking off my
00:48:56
own hard-on, oh
00:48:58
my God, and if there’s a position in which you can
00:49:02
imagine that I’m not participating in this I'm
00:49:04
really disgusted, you think, Lord,
00:49:13
enough of the effective [ __ ] functions
00:49:18
no, it functions perfectly without
00:49:21
being in a state of erection, you're an old
00:49:24
babe, stop [ __ ] with that's why it's
00:49:27
funny to receive spam with
00:49:29
steak pills from the main message, the path to the best
00:49:33
lover wasp, the whole problem is a boner,
00:49:36
that's why I such a bad lover, do
00:49:39
you have any pills that I didn’t care
00:49:42
if she [ __ ], that would be a
00:49:44
miracle of medicine,
00:49:46
I don’t think that the whole problem is old people, it’s
00:49:51
just a thing that do you
00:49:56
make a living doing what we do, me
00:49:58
if you perform on stage even if you are a
00:50:01
musician or a comedian, [ __ ] this, they
00:50:03
give you chicks from sick tall
00:50:07
ladies than you deserve, this is just a
00:50:09
sad unfair truth of life,
00:50:12
if you are an artist, then you can because chicks of a
00:50:15
higher caliber, what if you are an
00:50:17
accountant or shoe maker, I am trying
00:50:20
not to take advantage of this advantage because that
00:50:24
yes, because I know that you can
00:50:27
deceive them for a minute, but they will remember it, you do
00:50:29
n’t want to remain as memories in a
00:50:32
girl’s head when the fog of
00:50:34
[ __ ] infatuation with a celebrity clears, do you want
00:50:38
to be the reason for this early morning
00:50:40
call, Sarah,
00:50:44
yes, no, I’m already the head of
00:50:49
no, I was with him in hotel
00:50:53
it was such an abomination Sarah it
00:50:59
was just disgusting it was from you
00:51:04
to listen to I know I entered the slide in
00:51:08
just my friend in the hall it was different and
00:51:10
there they went
00:51:11
butter ended up in the center of attention
00:51:13
some pulpidor kept poking me with
00:51:16
cameras I decided that he was just about a month away, she
00:51:21
seemed to not bother me, and I thought
00:51:24
why not, why don’t we
00:51:27
try life? I’m getting married in October,
00:51:30
not when such an opportunity will arise,
00:51:32
he doesn’t have a muscular structure as
00:51:40
such,
00:51:43
but when he was done, he looked like 80 - a
00:51:46
year old old man
00:51:48
saw cute chicken hanging from the
00:51:53
bones all over his body, not like that I myself
00:51:57
if this happens to all the guys this will be
00:52:01
the outcome even after our wedding
00:52:04
his eggs they looked like the skin of a
00:52:09
fire victim as if someone had removed the
00:52:12
melted cheese mozzarella knitting needles Sarah
00:52:18
he's for plus balls in a ponytail when he
00:52:23
came out of the bathroom he asked me to stick a
00:52:29
baby's pacifier up his ass no he
00:52:34
said he had the flu and he was
00:52:39
afraid to [ __ ] himself when he [ __ ] although I don't
00:52:43
think he has the flu in my opinion he said it all
00:52:46
in advance prepared his bombs, a whole
00:52:48
candy bowl with these nipples stood there
00:52:52
for me still if a month says that he
00:52:56
will pay for a taxi if I come again
00:52:59
because he finally reached and there is no lecture yet he
00:53:03
wrote the words achieved he was striving for this
00:53:08
a long time ago it’s terrible anymore
00:53:12
why would you remember I don’t want to click I don’t want
00:53:15
to become such a phone call too often
00:53:18
[applause] [music]
00:53:21
well, you’re still young and beautiful and
00:53:26
because you smell, you probably also need to take a shower,
00:53:29
so there’s nothing wrong with
00:53:31
going and having sex, just
00:53:32
do it straight now and put a
00:53:34
message on [ __ ] Facebook into this pile of [ __ ] thoughts you
00:53:37
just [ __ ] each other but
00:53:40
don’t turn into the system it’s all
00:53:42
nice but you spend so much energy and
00:53:45
creativity just trying to
00:53:47
have sex even though it’s not even such a
00:53:49
good thing even though [ __ ] not bad,
00:53:51
my God, Iblis is just not that
00:53:56
bad, free entertainment for the
00:54:00
poor, even better, if with drugs it’s
00:54:05
not so good, I’ll
00:54:07
tell you how it ends, and damn it’s like that
00:54:10
every time, by the way, if you’ve never been
00:54:14
to the brist, close your ears, take off
00:54:16
from Julia I don’t want to ruin everything for you
00:54:19
but this is how [ __ ] ends every time
00:54:23
it reaches the climax 0
00:54:29
this is also a climax every time and no matter
00:54:33
what she is like or how cool she is
00:54:37
she was just awesome just a super
00:54:40
model oh seriously and how did it all
00:54:43
end evidence just as fat and
00:54:47
scary, but she’s a very good candidate of science,
00:55:00
I met her parents, fog,
00:55:02
this is the only one,
00:55:05
this girl was just crazy,
00:55:08
like a site, stick her coat of arms, she was all straight in
00:55:10
tattoos and on roller skates, crazy, and they
00:55:14
tied me up and stuck me on a massage table with
00:55:17
two and girlfriends they
00:55:21
didn’t put on my finger jopua sciences this vibrating rest and
00:55:23
then I got such evidence is still the same
00:55:28
[ __ ] it would be great if at least
00:55:30
sometimes there were exceptions at least one
00:55:33
in a [ __ ] thousand no dude there are no
00:55:35
glares and that chick knew some kind of crazy
00:55:39
3 which she you taught me this when
00:55:42
just before you are about to
00:55:43
[ __ ] over a finger hammered into a
00:55:44
certain place on your balls and you [ __ ]
00:55:46
blue instead, your entire
00:55:49
field of vision is filled with neon
00:55:52
rainbows that come judging from afar and
00:55:55
all you can hear is the sounds of
00:55:59
cash registers and your the path of more work
00:56:05
and photoshop opens under that pecking
00:56:08
baby and all your fears fall
00:56:11
out and merge with the ether you are like this it
00:56:15
cost a friend tickets for you are committed well
00:56:24
if sex is an end in itself then it is an
00:56:28
empty experience you cannot be satisfied with
00:56:31
sex for the sake of sex itself but are you
00:56:34
waiting for now you won’t meet an ideal
00:56:36
soul mate, you look into their eyes and
00:56:39
you understand that he is his father’s
00:56:41
destined to go without evidence, still the
00:56:46
same bastard, we just confuse love with
00:56:50
[ __ ], these are different products sold the day
00:56:53
when you are in love and are completely fooled by the
00:56:55
chemical balance of the hormone at the initial
00:56:58
stage of love,
00:56:59
naturally everything is - for another, you can at least the
00:57:01
telephone directory of a metalhead tulle
00:57:03
mentally
00:57:05
when it all goes down to a
00:57:08
buoy doesn’t know people because sex,
00:57:15
no, it’s not like that at all, it
00:57:22
never brings you closer if you need intimacy,
00:57:24
that is, there are thousands of things that are thousands of times more
00:57:27
close than [ __ ] burying a
00:57:31
pet together delivers a thousand
00:57:34
times better brings the question together, do you
00:57:39
think it’s like an infection requires
00:57:43
such a huge level of trust,
00:57:48
responsibility and closeness one of my
00:57:54
friends had breast cancer and had her breasts removed and
00:57:58
I was with him and ice at home for the recovery period
00:58:02
although it was us I want to stand I can’t stand
00:58:04
any kind of medical crap I’m disgusted
00:58:06
although I can watch
00:58:07
German practical porn all day
00:58:09
long I didn’t even get sick from
00:58:11
watching the girls one cup
00:58:13
without any problems at all change info here no
00:58:15
no I she fell out of bed in a morphine
00:58:20
stupor
00:58:21
and had to return her to bed and
00:58:23
put a fresh bandage on the wound,
00:58:26
and the noise itself brings you closer 1 billion times more
00:58:33
than even the most unbridled
00:58:37
drug orgy in which I
00:58:39
participated, should everyone go on ecstasy with
00:58:42
you, friends, and what chicks are running around in the
00:58:45
same room, look at the drone, something else is more important to
00:58:49
everyone, I’m completely open to the world I am
00:58:52
free of spirits for some guy in the corner
00:58:56
all the time sounds and jerks off and
00:58:59
aggressively
00:59:00
without any kind of badness for you, even
00:59:03
hatred of
00:59:08
God and no one knows what kind of
00:59:12
dude this is and everyone thinks that this dude is suddenly
00:59:16
one of your friends the next
00:59:20
day when the beads khanin stems evaporated,
00:59:24
you ask who is your friend, well, who I
00:59:27
thought came with you, a saint and
00:59:30
posts, no one knows who this guy is, it
00:59:32
turned out that some dude fell, he
00:59:35
heard him, maybe the bazaar was high and said to
00:59:38
take revenge while driving when we were driving ate and everyone
00:59:43
thinks the muscle and close eyes at
00:59:44
some
00:59:46
corner again and even this is not the same category of
00:59:51
intimacy as one fresh Lana from a
00:59:56
mastectomy, but I didn’t look at mine in
00:59:59
detail with words, but it was such an
01:00:02
intimate moment, I was so vulnerable, I
01:00:08
came to help you with the fuss of the magician, I have
01:00:12
my fears and I feel that I am closer to you
01:00:15
than ever, with the exception of the
01:00:20
next step of intimacy and which we will
01:00:23
now take the apotheosis of intimacy when I
01:00:28
bend over you ultrasound of a seahorse
01:00:31
I’m like,
01:00:40
look
01:00:46
this is my love curling up on hairs
01:00:50
on your belly
01:00:52
this is the physical embodiment of my love for
01:00:59
you thank you next time just
01:01:03
look or web the back of your head to show
01:01:06
stolen a new one for you means
01:01:11
[applause]
01:01:14
always keep sperm analysis jars with you
01:01:19
lined up like spittoons and
01:01:22
every time like your boner will bring you to a
01:01:25
state of lack of honesty
01:01:29
if when talking to chicks it’s so
01:01:32
serious, you grow asparagus yourself in
01:01:35
fascinating organic soil or you
01:01:39
can tell the difference between homemade ones in a store,
01:01:42
but wait a minute, in my opinion, I just
01:01:45
hit my head when I came
01:01:50
and the truth was not at all interesting, I’m
01:01:54
sorry for pretending as if I don’t want
01:01:57
you later I [ __ ] you and what kind of you oh I’m
01:02:01
sorry and it won’t go away by continuing to
01:02:04
deceive yourself, you can be
01:02:10
romantic, there’s nothing wrong with that, but
01:02:13
if you’re confused,
01:02:15
if you pretend to be romantic in order to
01:02:18
[ __ ] someone, then it’s not right
01:02:20
if you’re a sperm on and near and then
01:02:22
romantics paper, well, it’s wonderful if you
01:02:25
need exaggerated romance,
01:02:27
well, [ __ ], what does your mother say
01:02:30
equals love and where will she take you on
01:02:33
your anniversary?
01:02:40
these vulgar ones, but we
01:02:43
really love each other, don’t we
01:02:46
need all this, you guys quarreled, no
01:02:50
moms, I told you everything is fine, we don’t
01:02:52
need a relationship like you have with your father when
01:02:54
you stare at each other with hidden
01:02:56
hatred, we really are
01:02:59
we love each other so much and now
01:03:01
our relationship is not based on this, he got
01:03:05
someone on the side, everyone
01:03:08
closed their eyes, closed the topic,
01:03:10
if you need this shitty, go for romance
01:03:14
and a series of buy me a diamond [ __ ],
01:03:19
if you accept a diamond from a guy,
01:03:21
then you end up passed suspicions of
01:03:23
wealth 2 month salary a brilliant
01:03:29
if a guy gives you diamonds it’s
01:03:33
not about stivali for wasting money
01:03:36
that could have gone to not that there’s
01:03:40
anything meaningful in your relationship, he
01:03:43
allowed you to work hard for whole
01:03:46
months just to give you're a
01:03:49
useless shiny object they
01:03:51
would prefer that he instead
01:03:53
take two months off and stay with you for
01:03:55
free would
01:03:56
n't that mean more maybe
01:03:59
not but if you want to
01:04:01
give this afferent just but if
01:04:08
you want this operetta
01:04:10
senseless romance I'll tell you how you like
01:04:14
it achieve choose somewhere today
01:04:17
with your boyfriend everyone is happy and don’t go
01:04:20
to him for no reason
01:04:22
wait until everyone is having fun and
01:04:24
start here
01:04:27
and wait until he notices it jk
01:04:31
inflated happened and seems determined
01:04:34
knowing that Scott don’t worry about me I
01:04:37
know today you We have the navel of the earth, so
01:04:40
you play billiards with your friends,
01:04:41
both opinions, worry, yes, you probably
01:04:44
don’t care at all, actually, dear, I’m
01:04:48
following, some kind of [ __ ] happened, an attack, I
01:04:51
told you a hundred of that [ __ ], some kind of [ __ ],
01:04:53
Elezroy Togo Scott, maybe if you
01:04:56
didn’t tell me hernia wouldn’t be
01:04:58
upset, you know, and without bothering to
01:05:01
play these billiards, I don’t even know that
01:05:03
I said something so stupid, I don’t know,
01:05:06
maybe you would have paid more attention to
01:05:08
our conversation, you’re not listening to me at all,
01:05:13
so go play your leeches
01:05:16
and talk about this [ __ ] hour after hour the argument
01:05:21
must be completely irrational
01:05:23
must have been found to be servants returning to
01:05:27
the original and so that there
01:05:31
was no [ __ ] point in this at all so at two o’clock in
01:05:33
the morning he was yelling at you in the parking lot don’t interrupt
01:05:42
me why every time I try to
01:05:44
find out what happened
01:05:46
don’t interrupt me and 5 and now he’s also
01:05:51
drunk, everyone seems to be deciding that it’s him
01:05:55
like this muzak, because you’re sitting like this, the UN and
01:05:59
turnover and passers-by are saying what’s done, the
01:06:03
girls showed off,
01:06:04
I don’t understand, you won’t be able to win an argument
01:06:09
when you’re drunk, it seems to everyone that not even a
01:06:11
minute from dad and be at least a thousand times right, everything
01:06:13
will be decided back [ __ ] up, you know how
01:06:18
to drive a guy to white heat, that your
01:06:21
drunk is lying on his neck,
01:06:24
you know that you can bring him to the point
01:06:27
where if you push him just a little more,
01:06:31
complete [ __ ] up will happen, this is the
01:06:34
point where you will
01:06:37
push him because you need him
01:06:41
to write to you right according to your bream
01:06:46
in the name of romance, believe me, you need to get
01:06:51
him to hit you right in the face
01:06:54
this way when he is about to explode
01:06:57
you can risk the ceilings, you drive a
01:07:00
little bit from him instead of
01:07:02
hitting you he can just grab your face and
01:07:05
squeeze it out that I’m not a woman because
01:07:11
I was taught from childhood not to drink anymore dude,
01:07:16
in fact, it’s almost like beating and
01:07:19
all my life I’ve given my plow away like a grapefruit,
01:07:22
I’m also a mother, the same crap,
01:07:25
but you can’t make a story out of this, you’ll get a lion with
01:07:30
her sympathy from his sister home
01:07:34
were in the parking lot he behaved like an [ __ ]
01:07:37
and then then he survived in no face
01:07:42
how cute no, no, it doesn’t make sense we
01:07:45
cuddled
01:07:46
with kisses Dolan and forget I’d better
01:07:50
call my mom no story you need a
01:07:53
[ __ ] blow to the head so when he
01:07:57
gets to this point when the [ __ ] you
01:08:02
need to give out the darkest rabble you
01:08:04
can imagine and
01:08:06
throw it in his face like dog [ __ ]
01:08:10
remember the suicide of his brother like
01:08:14
this is some kind of genetic defect of
01:08:16
his family in the male line come on
01:08:22
serge and a great deed can hang yourself
01:08:25
with her na.a.
01:08:28
what do you know what will happen next
01:08:32
get ready to board up the house and the windows are
01:08:35
approaching Hurricane Ike what the [ __ ] have
01:08:40
I done and you have achieved the success of
01:08:45
your mission tomorrow morning the most
01:08:52
romantic day you have ever
01:08:56
spent together will begin you will wake up and
01:08:59
the boy is standing the elite aprons of your
01:09:03
bed
01:09:04
bowing to him his knees are like in a romance novel,
01:09:07
breakfast in bed, brisket biscuits, he’s
01:09:10
trying to warm it all up, he’s getting burned, and there’s a
01:09:14
killer smell in the room.
01:09:17
By the time you wake up, baby, I don’t know what
01:09:23
happened
01:09:24
because I love you so much, you know I’m not
01:09:28
like that, I’ve probably gone crazy
01:09:33
some kind of nervous breakdown,
01:09:37
I know that it was, in my opinion,
01:09:39
jambule sfatul, I stayed in a non-stack of
01:09:43
jam buoy, I haven’t eaten before, I haven’t tried it, I don’t
01:09:46
understand what it means when a
01:09:48
woman manipulates you,
01:09:50
so we’ll chalk it all up to a random brand of
01:09:54
alcohol and so on for life if someone- then
01:09:59
scotty will say, I’ll go get a beer, I’ll get myself
01:10:02
what not to bring, then I’ll do anything
01:10:04
just not a blood clot and dude, won’t you
01:10:07
want me here, this crap
01:10:09
I’m listening to the [ __ ] of guns and you’re sleeping, because I
01:10:15
don’t do that, baby, I’m not like that at all,
01:10:19
I have a strange understanding cause-and
01:10:21
-effect relationships
01:10:23
you know, if anything good came out of
01:10:26
my blow to your mean and honest and
01:10:29
polishing gordy, it’s
01:10:32
the understanding of how much you
01:10:35
mean to me, in general, you can achieve
01:10:45
romance like this,
01:10:46
or you can just [ __ ] without
01:10:48
bothering, treating each other as
01:10:50
the main thing because it seems as if the women
01:10:58
have a whole [ __ ] union, they have created
01:11:02
a situation
01:11:03
similar to the situation with ordinary
01:11:06
trade unions when even the most inept, lazy,
01:11:11
inert, not competitive Amanda
01:11:14
still gets a high rate in the market,
01:11:18
I will [ __ ] on the first date, I have
01:11:21
already lowered my standards by my very
01:11:25
presence here, I
01:11:28
apologize cern we have a [ __ ]
01:11:32
union and it has its own theme
01:11:35
and we will stick to it
01:11:37
and as a member of the union I can get from
01:11:40
you everything that a
01:11:42
really cool smart and
01:11:44
interesting chick would get, I think 5
01:11:46
dinners 3 movies and for dessert at least
01:11:50
1
01:11:53
theatrical performance and
01:11:55
not somehow and up comedy on
01:11:57
this I’ve already been burned I need something with the
01:12:00
fourth wall
01:12:01
you have to meet two of my
01:12:03
relatives with my cat the restaurant
01:12:05
pinball himself and he has to approve of you what can you
01:12:09
say about him Mr. Biggs
01:12:12
in my opinion he’s only a warrior Yes, you
01:12:15
agree, and you think in the private market,
01:12:24
you didn’t allow this all the time, we
01:12:26
had to see all the [ __ ] in the union
01:12:29
so that you could demand the same for
01:12:32
yourself, I think many women look at
01:12:35
prostitutes like the union
01:12:38
watches our breaker track like
01:12:42
you can’t it's so easy to go and
01:12:46
sell them for as much as it
01:12:48
costs mousse we're fighting for personally more we're
01:12:53
trying to get free
01:12:55
dental insurance we have a whole
01:12:57
list of demands
01:12:59
if you start selling [ __ ] for a
01:13:01
reasonable price it's just [ __ ] up we'll have to
01:13:05
rely only on our own
01:13:06
dignity oh my god we'll be different from
01:13:10
this we don’t need it, okay, it’s time
01:13:15
we completed our mission Oslo, thank you
01:13:19
very much for coming,
01:13:22
okay, that’s enough
01:13:23
[applause]
01:13:32
[applause]
01:13:35
and [applause]
01:13:42
[applause]
01:13:56
show the crap, you’ll go to sleep and
01:14:00
thank you for this sincere ovation,
01:14:04
thank you very much, save me, but I
01:14:08
hate recording so much it’s just horror, [ __ ] the
01:14:12
[ __ ]
01:14:14
camera everywhere, you guys’ cameramen are
01:14:16
better than I was able to pretend
01:14:19
that this crap isn’t here, I don’t know
01:14:24
what else to say, I don’t remember my
01:14:36
old crap, but I’m very grateful
01:14:37
that you’re shouting about my old
01:14:39
repertoire because - after there were
01:14:41
some goods, it seems like we’re selling
01:14:44
actually what we’re pushing can
01:14:47
only be sold on this tour, it’s a
01:14:50
bootleg that I don’t have the
01:14:53
right to sell anywhere else, it’s a record
01:14:54
company in the states every now and then looking over my shoulder
01:14:56
and they’re like that, they found it
01:15:01
ear to goes away, you’re selling it, we have
01:15:03
a contract, but not in this territory,
01:15:07
I’m selling crap that cost
01:15:10
me less and that’s why look at you, I’m
01:15:14
pushing into the [ __ ] 9 at 7 and we sew these
01:15:18
crowns apiece, otherwise I have
01:15:20
nothing to pay for the booze with, I’ll tell you about a girl
01:15:23
with a banana before a girl with a banana this is also a
01:15:26
little old these for if I have anything
01:15:28
else not but repeat the old [ __ ] and I will I do
01:15:33
n’t remember it because I’m drunk as [ __ ] and
01:15:35
not drunk as much as I would like
01:15:37
[applause]
01:15:39
earlier I’m not a [ __ ] legend about Kursk, I didn’t
01:15:43
wake up the next day at 11 am,
01:15:47
calling old friends, sobbing,
01:15:49
apologizing, I’m good at changing the evening of drinking, we
01:15:56
saw it be me the next day, a [ __ ]
01:15:59
disgrace,
01:16:00
yes, I’m not [ __ ] talking to you,
01:16:02
God, suffer with [ __ ],
01:16:04
then you communicate with people, it’s special
01:16:08
people here work hard to
01:16:11
put on a show and then you meet them at 10 in the morning at
01:16:14
the airport from where they don’t pick you up and
01:16:18
every word you say is frisky and a lie to
01:16:23
get to know you,
01:16:26
you drag it dry, every word is like walking
01:16:29
forward feet first on the floor during an abortion if I
01:16:34
was drunk now yeah influence everything I’m
01:16:40
writing today this is some kind of slag,
01:16:43
nothing like Alaska, Alaska, hell,
01:16:46
Alaska, they let her in to her dad, where is my
01:16:52
[ __ ] manager who organized everything,
01:16:54
and here you are, where are you, the
01:16:56
region is being slandered by Venus
01:16:59
to sell and you know if you want to buy Leone through
01:17:03
or not, just show him the
01:17:05
middle finger and tell him to go
01:17:08
[ __ ] you, he organized an attack and did everything
01:17:11
that I [ __ ] hate, and he knew it,
01:17:14
for money he’s always ready for anything, they always have
01:17:17
someone in stock, an insidious plan, in general,
01:17:19
first I performed in England, I hate
01:17:22
England more than any place I’ve
01:17:25
ever been I performed, I
01:17:27
just [ __ ] hate it, it’s really a
01:17:31
great audience, but the remaining twenty-
01:17:34
three hours are just [ __ ] up, so terrible, I
01:17:37
hate all of it, this is [ __ ],
01:17:39
so we first worked there,
01:17:42
mowed down the money about the candle, and came here
01:17:45
where we like, but that’s what this
01:17:49
Fedor did, he said, and I performed in Theater in
01:17:53
London it's on fire I organized 20 IRA as the
01:17:57
opening act
01:17:58
he's a Scot I can't get his accent right
01:18:02
before your show in the theater for 2 festivals
01:18:06
you'll work it out I nodded festivals I don't like to
01:18:10
perform at comedy festivals and it
01:18:12
turned out to be music festivals in person and
01:18:15
dressed up buy a music festival
01:18:17
so that people they go to music
01:18:20
festivals to watch a comedy,
01:18:22
among them they enter the tent of Tula comedians so
01:18:25
that it will rain from the Korean, waiting for it to
01:18:27
start playing, explained but 17 years old [ __ ] [ __ ]
01:18:31
slept dirt with a stack because the
01:18:35
[ __ ] chicks didn’t give them and then
01:18:37
if you already know what I do and are not in the
01:18:41
mood for me, you will probably
01:18:44
hate me, I tell them I don’t want to
01:18:47
go there, they will throw fruit at me there at school
01:18:49
after a while, he gave an
01:18:52
argument, but there
01:18:53
will be a lot of dough, it won’t work anymore, but
01:18:58
I don’t need a lot of money, I don’t I want people to
01:19:00
throw fruit at me, I told him
01:19:01
Brian, but [ __ ] it, we already worked at
01:19:05
music festivals, he always hated me there,
01:19:06
yes, I know,
01:19:14
but they pay very well there and the
01:19:17
festival itself is very prestigious, high
01:19:20
level, and that’s another reason for the
01:19:25
court not to go and especially at a higher
01:19:30
level there is only me and it will be thrown from
01:19:32
thunderstorms to have that it’s better at
01:19:35
some rich event for us so that not
01:19:38
so many people see it, maybe
01:19:43
even at a private party, and I also
01:19:48
signed up for rape by pigs, I don’t
01:19:52
think I’ll go for this, wait a minute,
01:19:55
it will be during the halftime
01:19:57
of the Super Bowl, very significant prestige
01:20:04
[applause]
01:20:09
yes, I hear you keep demanding the
01:20:12
old numbers but I won’t perform them,
01:20:14
I don’t even remember, buy the disc, [ __ ]
01:20:19
put it in the stereo system and I’ll
01:20:22
open my mouth and watch
01:20:26
about What did I even say there, Bryant, there was
01:20:33
any sense at all in the fact that
01:20:38
Pablo Francisco
01:20:40
and you like the loot Francisco and you
01:20:42
know him, in fact, we’re friends with Pavel there
01:20:49
and just recently performed
01:20:52
in [ __ ] Sweden, there’s my
01:20:53
Swedish friend, dear idiot I saw him
01:20:57
I saw him before the concert he said I
01:21:00
came from Gothenburg to see you
01:21:02
I would have played there last Saturday
01:21:06
seriously yes damn idiot I
01:21:10
should have looked at the website so yes we were
01:21:22
in Sweden and
01:21:23
Pablo Francisco had a tour of 22 cities
01:21:29
22
01:21:30
cities Think about it, first of all, I have three
01:21:35
invitations to the radio in Stockholm in
01:21:37
my contract I had to wake up at
01:21:41
645 ill try to answer the question of solder
01:21:44
how did you like Sweden, God, how
01:21:47
well-fed he can handle it, and at 3
01:21:51
radio stations where I was supposed to speak, they
01:21:53
kicked me out,
01:21:55
well, completely there was an error on departure,
01:21:57
sorry, but the broadcast is impossible,
01:22:00
we invited 1 more guest by mistake
01:22:03
and they brought the mentally [ __ ] Elvis, you know, he’s actually [ __ ], you know, his
01:22:09
Elvis look-alike and he came in and they say he’s alive or something like
01:22:11
that, a whole theater and [ __ ] collecting a
01:22:15
ticket costs 7,000 pendants or whatever it is in
01:22:20
summer currency is called yes and here I
01:22:24
am working with the [ __ ] Elvis what do you need
01:22:27
people I actually came and they also didn’t
01:22:32
know that he was like that and the naked king just
01:22:37
mentioned that he was a double of Elvis
01:22:39
and Anka in my opinion don’t say
01:22:42
that
01:22:43
but he I really really did
01:22:47
n’t know how to visa, he Elvis, you know, it
01:22:52
made me, as an artist, think,
01:22:54
what the [ __ ],
01:22:55
why did people not come to me, they
01:22:59
thought I was completely screwed or something, they just did
01:23:01
n’t mention it, and now Pablo
01:23:05
Francisco is drawing sold-out crowds,
01:23:08
okay, man, at least once pablo
01:23:14
francisco one person one joke
01:23:19
stretched out to eat and stronger
01:23:24
everyone on the shore of the clan I don’t know what this is
01:23:29
about let’s already be in
01:23:32
a minute I’ll be there with you I can
01:23:34
take a photo kiss your
01:23:37
were child autograph with me put the [ __ ]
01:23:40
or where you ask the doctor
01:23:43
excellent evening thank you very much and he
01:23:46
[applause]
01:23:49
translated by Yuri Grishin voiced by the
01:23:52
slave studio for the release of this voice acting color
01:23:55
special respect
01:23:57
only
01:23:58
[applause]

Description:

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