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Download "Alban Ivanov - La conseillère d'orientation - Marrakech du rire 2017"

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Video tags
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Video tags

Marrakech du rire
Marrakech
Maroc
Jamel
Jamel Debbouze
Melissa Theuriau
Humour
sketch
stand up
comedy club
Jamel comedy club
humoriste
M6
Gad Elmaleh
Omar Sy
Kev Adams
Florence Foresti
Élie Semoun
Franck Dubosc
Ary Abittan
Jérôme Commandeur
Bérengère Krief
Waly Dia
Jeff Panacloc
Michaël Youn
Kad Merad
Cyril Hanouna
Alban Ivanov
Booder
Inès Reg
one man show
Frayssinet
Marrakech du rire 2022
Marrakech du rire replay
Marrakech du rire streaming
Subtitles
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Subtitles

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  • ruRussian
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00:00:00
[Music]
00:00:07
[Applause]
00:00:12
we're going to see the reflexes
00:00:13
[Music]
00:00:15
well that's good evening
00:00:20
very happy to be with you very
00:00:21
happy I'm very happy to be a
00:00:23
comedian but it's true that at the beginning
00:00:26
it's not what I wanted my
00:00:28
childhood dream was to be a
00:00:29
professional footballer and unfortunately at 18
00:00:32
years old well I had a problem
00:00:33
I was bad what there you go I played like
00:00:36
[ __ ] I played in division 8
00:00:39
district it's the lowest division
00:00:43
c what's this I'm redoing my first
00:00:46
sketch that I did at the laugh match
00:00:48
as it worked well
00:00:51
I said to myself what if I did
00:00:53
a cover of myself you see
00:00:56
Matt Pokora he does that and cloclo
00:00:59
it's his album the best sold
00:01:03
after each year I ordered you
00:01:05
I have nothing I wonder if it's a
00:01:07
good idea ah it's because you love me that's
00:01:08
it
00:01:10
you didn't work no no well I don't know
00:01:15
how that
00:01:18
oh there he's taking the piss Arabic good
00:01:24
way I've always been paying it's
00:01:26
nothing always lazy and a jerk
00:01:28
that's the only diploma I got in my
00:01:31
life and I really gave myself
00:01:33
a lot of trouble c it's a 50m swim you
00:01:35
see so that's why now Pôle
00:01:38
Emploi I put on a swimsuit you
00:01:39
see like that they know that they have to do
00:01:41
a professional ah no
00:01:44
catastrophic result at college every
00:01:46
term I did warning
00:01:48
work and driving the double
00:01:50
championship Champions League
00:01:52
either you are there or you are not there but
00:01:55
assessments on my report cards it was
00:01:57
Alban comes without his belongings but
00:01:59
leaves with the belongings of others
00:02:03
Alban progresses like a flute too bad
00:02:06
we are still in maths
00:02:10
can you describe Alban to me? I've
00:02:12
never seen him,
00:02:14
that's my school career ah
00:02:17
I was stupid, very very stupid, and to
00:02:19
tell you at one point I was so stupid
00:02:21
that my mother said, well, that's it. '
00:02:23
maybe she's a genius
00:02:27
she's stupid too eh bye she's
00:02:30
boring don't talk she was
00:02:32
delirious she was convinced
00:02:34
that I was bad at school it's because
00:02:36
I was bored because I 'was
00:02:37
above the rest
00:02:39
she went far away mom there
00:02:43
she even took me to
00:02:44
the speech therapist and all good after the
00:02:46
lady reassured her eh a genius
00:02:50
no no he's just very stupid ma'am
00:02:52
come on hop it clears so be careful
00:02:57
as dunce obviously I
00:02:58
laughed a lot in middle school but there is
00:03:00
a moment when you laugh less it's at the end
00:03:02
of the third year there you would have less because
00:03:04
you know we start talking to you about
00:03:05
your future and everything and there you are not good
00:03:06
and you meet a lady specialized in the
00:03:09
future ah yeah come back from the future for
00:03:12
you she knows what you are going to become you
00:03:14
see who I'm talking about
00:03:20
the guidance counselor
00:03:23
[Music]
00:03:34
I'm not going to [ __ ] there
00:03:42
so the next student who is it
00:03:45
then
00:03:47
[Music]
00:03:49
there is a bird there
00:03:51
I thought I saw a bird
00:04:02
the birds have nothing to do in
00:04:03
the establishment
00:04:08
yes thank you
00:04:11
my office and excuse me for the
00:04:14
next one yes in his file it's
00:04:16
normal that he is police rappers
00:04:20
okay we're going to put the entry search
00:04:23
the front
00:04:24
thank you thank you So which one is it ah yes or
00:04:28
say so he's not handsome that one
00:04:30
and the fat man bagdanov go ahead
00:04:35
entrance entrance there hello there I am
00:04:37
Madame biglou here
00:04:40
at the college orientation concierge
00:04:42
there we had a meeting go ahead
00:04:44
sit down please
00:04:46
no no on the chair
00:04:49
yes he is stupid him
00:04:57
and get up very very stupid
00:05:00
we're going to have a good afternoon
00:05:04
we can find out why you only have
00:05:05
one shoe
00:05:06
[Music]
00:05:08
the other is on the roof
00:05:11
ah yes he's really stupid stupid
00:05:15
so Mr. Zaza I read your
00:05:20
Ivanov file ah sorry I scratched Ivan
00:05:22
that's a pretty name Ivan and what
00:05:26
Russian origin ok your dad is an alcoholic
00:05:31
yes well we'll write it down
00:05:33
so what did I do with my
00:05:36
kit me ah no from a [ __ ] darling
00:05:50
excuse me but when I arrived this
00:05:53
morning at the office I had a kit
00:05:56
I find not too much
00:06:03
that I received before Mr. Ivanov
00:06:07
Hicham
00:06:12
and François okay well you can
00:06:15
call me back Charles s 'please
00:06:18
[Applause]
00:06:23
thank you Martine on me a reflex so
00:06:29
between the two of us
00:06:30
go ahead take the finger out of your nose
00:06:32
please
00:06:33
there's the other one too there
00:06:36
and yes it's one it's not the end of words
00:06:40
so
00:06:43
how long have you been
00:06:44
in college you
00:06:46
8 years ah yes
00:06:49
that's good don't relax
00:06:52
you will get the seniority bonus before
00:06:54
me
00:06:57
you have an explanation for that
00:07:00
the college is next to you
00:07:04
the high school is is too far
00:07:07
you have to take the bus
00:07:09
go ahead put your finger in your nose
00:07:12
what you want to do good you
00:07:15
saw the result of the last quarter we are
00:07:18
not in Jojo look at this
00:07:20
one in French a match two in history
00:07:24
it's
00:07:26
your favorite subject
00:07:32
we feel passion too
00:07:36
bad the canteen isn't graded
00:07:40
there we feel the effort
00:07:42
and I can't see the chair anymore then
00:07:46
and we also have big behavioral problems
00:07:47
you still sent
00:07:50
four teachers into depression
00:07:52
without count Madame Thibault Madame
00:07:55
Thibault Martine and who was found
00:07:58
hanging 15 days ago
00:08:01
in her bathtub
00:08:03
with your mathematical friend in her hand
00:08:09
it's a clue
00:08:12
Pythagoras is not a Real Madrid player
00:08:17
but you laugh but someone died
00:08:20
anyway
00:08:22
good
00:08:23
what do you want to do
00:08:25
when you grow up do you have an idea
00:08:27
a hobbit something
00:08:30
actor why not you have talent
00:08:34
your mom says yes
00:08:39
your mom is the lady who is parked
00:08:41
in the middle of the yard
00:08:45
what vehicle is this
00:08:48
a quad okay
00:08:52
it does wheelies okay
00:08:55
if the mom is in GTA
00:08:59
well listen I thought about it I think
00:09:03
the best for you is more suitable would be
00:09:06
to go for a BEP I have
00:09:09
to become a boilermaker exactly ah
00:09:12
yes yes it's like the theater
00:09:13
exactly that's it but with cauldrons
00:09:15
what there is an end of year show
00:09:18
you will be very good there that's sorry
00:09:21
why not for a second general
00:09:27
lol
00:09:28
[Applause]

Description:

Abonnez-vous 👉 https://www.youtube.com/c/marrakechdurireofficielle/?sub_confirmation=1 Disponible en audio sur Spotify 👉 https://open.spotify.com/show/0QW8h1pqKlZqGbsGFmMxr3 Le Marrakech du rire est un festival international annuel d'humour qui se tient depuis 2011 à Marrakech, au Maroc. Créé par l'humoriste Jamel Debbouze, il est composé de plusieurs spectacles et Galas qui sont diffusés chaque année depuis sa création sur les chaînes de télévision M6, TV5Monde, 2M et Edan TV.

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