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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
[music]00:00:10
good afternoon, dear friends, today we00:00:14
will talk about why you shouldn’t00:00:17
babysit a person who has left you.00:00:20
What I would like to tell you about are00:00:23
fairly standard stories that include00:00:28
situations where one person, let’s say a00:00:33
woman leaves a relationship, a man is00:00:36
worried, he suffers, he has00:00:39
an addiction, he doesn’t know what do00:00:42
he have apathy, insomnia, loss of appetite, and00:00:46
so on, a month00:00:49
and a half passes, let00:00:51
’s assume that it was a marriage and the00:00:54
woman begins00:00:57
to give some hopes, well, that is,00:01:02
let’s meet, and I would like to go for a walk with you, let’s00:01:05
go to00:01:10
the zoo, anywhere, it doesn’t matter, or for00:01:15
example, you are a00:01:17
woman and from a man left you and00:01:20
after a while he rings the doorbell as if nothing00:01:23
had happened, he comes in the door, you00:01:27
feed him there, talk to him as if00:01:31
nothing had happened, you talk,00:01:32
trying to seem very kind and good,00:01:35
then he leaves,00:01:37
this kind of behavior never00:01:41
causes no result, but00:01:43
most men and women have thoughts00:01:48
that just such behavior is00:01:50
needed to restore relationships, I00:01:52
need to show that I am open, that I am kind,00:01:55
that I really want and expect that I am all00:01:59
so00:02:00
expectant, that is, I am all so00:02:04
faithful00:02:05
why doesn’t it work I00:02:09
often see people there who reproach me I didn’t00:02:13
know about all the troubles of this world your00:02:16
methods there are too cruel you are too00:02:18
cruel to you you never loved there and so00:02:21
on00:02:22
I want to sympathize with these people00:02:26
you are of course right in absolutely everything,00:02:30
carry on its good news to the masses00:02:34
of the people, the essence is that the person who leaves,00:02:39
he takes a fairly strong step from the00:02:42
relationship, that is, what is it, you00:02:46
can perceive it as a00:02:48
betrayal, but it is not a betrayal in its00:02:49
pure form,00:02:51
this is a strong enough step, this is a jamb00:02:55
before the relationship, a strong offense before the00:02:58
breakup of these relationships, any love00:03:02
in any attraction, it00:03:06
exists very well only in a time of00:03:09
respect for the second person,00:03:11
many people live in marriages, I don’t respect 2,00:03:14
but this is not a relationship, this is a war that is00:03:17
happening there, yes, you can recognize00:03:20
these situations, understand them and see00:03:22
this war not history of relationships00:03:24
normal history of relationships of mutual respect,00:03:26
well, at least it00:03:29
would be nice if they accompanied you in this00:03:32
relationship00:03:33
when a person leaves when he performs00:03:38
such an action what does00:03:41
your self-esteem tell you does it tell you that you00:03:43
need to00:03:46
creep up and coo with the other person00:03:49
no it doesn’t tell you00:03:52
look every time you you are trying to00:04:00
adapt to him in the most convenient way for the second one, here the girl00:04:02
wrote that she wants to00:04:04
meet me, well, of course I will meet, I would00:04:06
just reduce communication, they will00:04:09
communicate differently, I will show that I am00:04:12
mysterious there, and00:04:13
when this happens, it seems to the man that00:04:18
he will really show it now a certain00:04:20
inaccessibility, but the question is what is his00:04:24
inaccessibility; indeed, a person00:04:26
has one of the standard reflexes of00:04:29
trying to hold on to everything that00:04:30
is slipping away, but how much and whether a man is slipping away00:04:33
here,00:04:35
no, and this is the illusion of living in a marriage, an00:04:40
abandoned person, the illusion that after00:04:43
all, he is superior to00:04:44
friends if you have given up on you, you are not above you, you00:04:47
must save yourself first of all, not00:04:52
try to help someone else, don’t try to help him,00:04:54
but you save yourself00:04:58
when00:05:00
you00:05:01
regain your will and00:05:04
get rid of addiction by becoming00:05:07
independent, this is beautiful, it’s00:05:11
even beautiful to watch, yes, when a person is a00:05:15
dependent person who, for example, during a00:05:18
consultation, said that I don’t00:05:20
know what to do, so she writes to me there,00:05:23
I can’t help but answer, this is a00:05:25
sticky mass, she eventually turns into a00:05:28
person, a normal person, to00:05:32
independent00:05:34
beauty, the00:05:35
attractiveness of this person grows00:05:38
almost immediately00:05:40
for the second for a person, the00:05:43
same process is the same, and00:05:47
if we say adjust these to, that00:05:51
is, as conveniently as possible, I don’t want to00:05:54
offend him, why except if I00:05:57
behave like this now and he doesn’t, he won’t think00:06:00
that I’m doing something bad, friends,00:06:03
stop looking at yourself with the eyes of 200:06:06
this is00:06:08
disgusting for a person until they refuse you,00:06:12
for your part, try to somehow00:06:14
be close to them, you know what00:06:17
passion is, to whom it manifests itself,00:06:20
there is a girl who really likes00:06:23
a man and this man is independent, he does not00:06:27
pay attention to her, periodically00:06:30
I do something for her00:06:32
attraction from this it falls or grows00:06:35
grows from independence it grows you understand00:06:38
when00:06:39
respect for you appears and it begins to00:06:42
grow what does00:06:43
this generally lead to a00:06:46
rethinking of your image in a00:06:48
person’s head00:06:49
there are two images of you, yes, that is, the00:06:53
first is00:06:55
idealized, it manifests itself at a00:06:57
distance after a breakup00:07:00
Some time passes and it seems that this00:07:02
relationship was not good, it was00:07:05
wonderful, a certain00:07:06
need arises, but is devalued, and this00:07:09
image manifests itself during a breakup, that is, a00:07:11
disgusting, sticky, oppressive00:07:15
problematic image of a person, this is what it00:07:18
looks like,00:07:20
your task is to bring your image from00:07:24
this devalued one his image to a beautiful,00:07:27
idealized one, then you receive00:07:30
certain requests and a set of actions00:07:33
that you apply in order to00:07:35
achieve this,00:07:37
depending on the situation it is completely00:07:40
different, but it is united by one00:07:44
return to one’s will and an00:07:47
attempt to lead oneself to independence00:07:50
by getting rid of dependence on00:07:53
dependence on a specific person that00:07:55
is, you see what the point is, if you, for your00:07:59
part,00:08:01
want to restore the relationship, then if you00:08:05
translate all this, plus or minus, into00:08:07
psychological language, you need to make sure00:08:10
that your image evokes attraction,00:08:13
if you speak in an image that evokes00:08:16
attraction,00:08:17
you can conduct this analysis about it00:08:23
yourself, remember00:08:25
the craving to a person who did not reciprocate your feelings,00:08:30
try to see her and00:08:33
try to understand her, something connected you with this person,00:08:36
you were either00:08:38
in a common company, you studied in general there in a00:08:41
common group, or you worked at the same00:08:44
job or a group of friends, you constantly00:08:46
crossed paths with this a person, that is, there was a00:08:48
certain connection if we talk about marriage, this00:08:51
connection is a connection that was in that person00:08:55
thanks to which the dependence grew,00:08:58
why did you stay in this story for00:09:01
long enough, he didn’t burn with00:09:05
love for you, no, but in his direction it00:09:08
manifested itself in the treatment, it seemed to you that00:09:11
his image is beautiful, that is, not specifically00:09:14
his appearance, his any actions seemed00:09:19
extremely attractive00:09:22
why00:09:24
the first respect 2 will 3 independence00:09:27
this is what you essentially should00:09:32
lead your after the breakup to00:09:35
these eternal buildings how would I be so00:09:38
careful here I am if he comes00:09:40
I I can’t but refuse, but if a girl00:09:42
meets me and says00:09:44
let’s go for a walk, I can’t help but00:09:47
answer and ours think00:09:48
that I’m running, what difference does it make what she00:09:50
thinks,00:09:52
it’s important for you that your image changes and these00:09:56
stories are parallel, that is a girl00:09:59
may think that you are offended and at the same time00:10:02
respect appears for you00:10:04
and you see how different these stories00:10:08
can be in principle, that is, the00:10:12
emotion is conscious 1 but the effect is different and00:10:15
why exactly do you need to chase and you need to chase the00:10:18
effect, that is, so that00:10:21
your action is effective were if they were00:10:24
ineffective, what difference does it make that your00:10:26
girlfriend won’t think your ex that you are00:10:28
offended there or offended, there is00:10:30
no point in this if we talk about the00:10:35
technique,00:10:36
it’s a tough technique, yes, that is,00:10:41
there is not a single technique that will lead00:10:44
you to the machine of restoring relationships00:10:46
that does not affect so much00:10:49
total measures and which does not affect00:10:51
your changes, that is, the growth of your00:10:54
objective significance upon gaining00:10:56
independence,00:10:58
any stories can be completed halfway, for00:11:02
example, without getting rid of the addiction,00:11:05
ignore the person, will you see00:11:08
requests until you00:11:09
get the full effect, that00:11:13
is, from beginning to end00:11:15
you will not have it you won’t get it if we’re talking about the00:11:19
full effect of what you need to00:11:23
get rid of illusions you need to get rid of00:11:26
first of all it’s the illusions that interfere with00:11:30
you it seems that the person is writing to you because00:11:33
he has realized everything, he’s already burning out of00:11:35
love but he didn’t offer you anything00:11:38
then again nothing to you this It00:11:41
seems to me that I shouldn’t react for an hour,00:11:44
that girl, she’s from my00:11:46
city, so she’ll understand that I do00:11:50
n’t need it, friends, if she understands that it’s00:11:53
not necessary, enjoy it because00:11:55
if you answered then, you’d be faced00:11:58
with take 2 in the course of which from you would again be00:12:02
refused00:12:04
motivation when restoring the relationship,00:12:06
she will be tenacious,00:12:09
tenacious, and even if you00:12:12
don’t answer, moreover, she00:12:17
will only grow and in no case00:12:21
should you think about being as00:12:22
convenient as possible so that the00:12:24
second person has something there for The00:12:26
second person has decided not to decide in a similar00:12:29
way, each person is guided00:12:31
only by his own craving, I was drawn to go if there00:12:36
is no craving, what kind of comprehension are we00:12:40
talking about for a person to think, yes, it00:12:42
was comfortable with him and what will this give you,00:12:46
this is a conscious decision and what is it00:12:49
she will give you she will give me a rock bill nothing00:12:52
you will00:12:55
not change this situation in any way through a00:12:58
conscious decision of 2 people at00:13:02
this moment I would like to finish this00:13:04
video and we will see you very soonDescription:
С вами Винцент Александр, и сегодня мы поговорим на тему зависимости в отношениях, а также эмоциональную привязанность. Почему не нужно нянчиться с ушедшим человеком? Что делать, когда парень или девушка уходит? Уважение - залог успеха? Какая она, женская и мужская психология, во время расставания? Об этом и многом другом - в этом видео. Приятного просмотра! Не забывайте про лайки, комментарии и подписку! --------------- Подписывайтесь на мой основной блог в Яндекс Дзен: zen.yandex.ru/vincentalexander Если у вас есть история, по поводу которой вы хотели бы получить комментарий лично от меня - пишите мне на эл.адрес: www.vincentalexander.ru [email protected]
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