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Russian
00:00:00
i grew up with a very very loving mother00:00:05
my mom00:00:06
was00:00:07
literally the whole example00:00:10
of a people pleaser00:00:13
she would go above and beyond to help00:00:16
every single person around her00:00:19
even if she did not have the means to00:00:23
when i was growing up i saw her00:00:26
be like that with other00:00:28
people and that gave me an example as to00:00:32
how i should be with other people so00:00:35
what ended up happening is i became an00:00:38
extreme people pleaser00:00:41
and i would do anything and everything00:00:44
to help everyone around me but i was00:00:47
always the one that ended up feeling00:00:49
drained00:00:51
that ended up feeling used that ended up00:00:54
feeling lost00:00:56
and honestly00:00:58
i had all these people around me that00:01:00
were like oh i love you i love you00:01:03
and then i was like how is it that00:01:05
everybody claims to love me00:01:07
but i do not feel loved00:01:10
until i realized liz you are doing this00:01:14
for yourself and you are creating this00:01:16
reality for yourself i was just tired of00:01:19
everybody coming to me with the problems00:01:22
trauma dumping on me00:01:24
not even asking me hey liz how are you00:01:27
are you okay because i would always put00:01:29
up this front of like oh i got00:01:31
everything i got this i'm strong enough00:01:33
i can do whatever so when it came time00:01:36
for me to be like00:01:38
hey you know what like this situation i00:01:40
didn't really feel good about it oh00:01:42
whatever liz you're strong you can00:01:44
handle it whatever let's handle it00:01:46
then i was like00:01:48
okay but like when you needed help i was00:01:50
there though so where's my help now you00:01:53
know and that was my issue of like00:01:55
constantly giving out help giving out00:01:57
help00:01:58
but not allowing myself to receive help00:02:00
and not allowing myself to be vulnerable00:02:03
and show people that hey listen i have00:02:06
emotions things hurt me as well and00:02:08
maybe00:02:09
sometimes i want to talk about my00:02:11
problems i want to talk about my00:02:12
emotions like shouldn't this be a00:02:14
two-way thing why is everybody always00:02:16
dumping on me and everybody needing my00:02:18
help and everybody needing something00:02:20
from me but maybe i need someone too00:02:24
enough liz enough with your stupid00:02:27
self-pity00:02:29
and you go00:02:30
and you become selfish yeah exactly00:02:33
selfish ooh what a scary word00:02:35
everybody's scared of the word selfish00:02:37
but you know what being selfish00:02:40
literally saves me literally saved me00:02:42
completely because00:02:44
i just came to a point where i realized00:02:47
hey listen00:02:48
when they need someone liz is always00:02:50
there but when i need someone why is00:02:52
everything empty00:02:54
why am i over extending my whole body00:02:58
for everyone00:03:00
and they're not even extending out a00:03:02
hand to help me hi guys my name is liz00:03:04
and welcome back to my channel okay so00:03:06
let's get right into this video00:03:09
what i did to become more selfish first00:03:11
things i stopped going into arguments00:03:15
with people who are not willing to00:03:16
listen00:03:18
i am a person it takes a lot to make me00:03:21
angry i'm very chill i'm very chill and00:03:24
it takes a lot to hurt me as well like i00:03:25
don't get easily hurt i'm very chill00:03:29
i don't care00:03:30
if you did hurt me however by00:03:32
disrespecting me and i mean like severe00:03:35
disrespect and i tell you00:03:38
hey listen you disrespected me00:03:41
i did not appreciate that and you keep00:03:43
trying to twist the story to manipulate00:03:45
it and be like oh no it wasn't that way00:03:48
i didn't mean it like that and you keep00:03:49
going like that i will just not engage00:03:52
in the conversation anymore it's done00:03:55
listen my boundaries were crossed you00:03:57
crossed them you know you cross them00:04:00
done the conversation is over you're not00:04:02
willing to say hey hey liz listen00:04:05
i'm sorry that that might have hurt you00:04:07
i'm sorry that i didn't did that to you00:04:09
i'm willing to work on this or this00:04:11
won't happen in the future if you're not00:04:13
saying that we're done done conversation00:04:16
is over you're not worth my time you're00:04:17
not worth my energy that's it another00:04:20
thing is i started prioritizing my own00:04:23
needs and ones00:04:25
whatever i want00:04:26
goes first00:04:28
that's it i do not care anymore i'm so00:04:32
tired of constantly giving giving giving00:04:35
and just feeling empty at the end of the00:04:37
day00:04:38
now i what i do first is i fill my own00:04:41
cup first like am i okay am i whole yes00:04:44
okay then i can give to you as well but00:04:46
if i am empty i cannot give you anything00:04:49
because i don't have anything to give00:04:51
so basically what i started doing is00:04:53
like when my friends for example ask00:04:55
like liz do you want to come out you00:04:56
want to go there i used to feel very bad00:04:58
and just00:04:59
go with them anyways because they want00:05:01
to go but now i'm like no i don't want00:05:03
to come00:05:04
and if they ask like why why not well i00:05:07
don't want to and that's enough reason00:05:09
that's okay liz doesn't want to and00:05:11
that's enough reason i don't have to say00:05:13
why i don't have to explain anything i00:05:15
just do not feel like it and i don't00:05:17
want to come that's enough for me00:05:19
um00:05:20
so i really started to be like00:05:23
whatever i want comes first stop being00:05:26
always available and trying to save00:05:28
everyone00:05:29
see the issue with me was my phone was00:05:31
always on i'm always on my phone like00:05:33
whenever somebody would text me00:05:35
immediately i would text back00:05:37
like if they need advice i would give00:05:38
them advice i would give them every00:05:40
single thing00:05:41
but you know what that what happens then00:05:43
you're always the one that people reach00:05:45
out to when they have problems00:05:48
but what about you know when just00:05:51
everything is going good like can you00:05:52
you know why am i always the one that's00:05:55
being trauma dumped on why are you00:05:58
always telling me this stuff maybe i00:05:59
don't have the mental capacity to handle00:06:02
that maybe i am going through some stuff00:06:04
as well but because i was this people00:06:06
pleaser of like oh just00:06:08
whatever i'll make sure that you're okay00:06:11
it was like00:06:12
why doesn't anyone make sure that i'm00:06:15
okay and that's because i do not even00:06:17
make sure that i'm okay00:06:18
i was showing them hey listen you can00:06:20
always come to me and that's also like00:06:22
me not having boundaries if you have00:06:25
strong boundaries and you say like hey00:06:26
listen00:06:28
i don't want to listen to your problems00:06:30
today i have enough of my problems00:06:33
enough and even more you know00:06:36
but you don't care about that though you00:06:38
just come to me because i allow you to00:06:40
come and i have no boundaries so at the00:06:43
end they that is my mistake00:06:46
and so i had to learn to be to not00:06:48
always be available if i do not want to00:06:50
answer your message i want to answer00:06:52
your message maybe i will answer in like00:06:54
two days three days00:06:56
but i don't answer immediately anymore i00:06:58
don't care i genuinely do not care i00:07:00
don't have the i don't have the mental00:07:03
capacity or the energy00:07:05
to give you any more realize i was00:07:06
trying to save everyone because i feel00:07:09
for them i i see my family and friends00:07:12
and i want them to have the best life00:07:14
ever i want them to be amazing and the00:07:15
best version of themselves00:07:17
but then i literally realized like you00:07:19
cannot save everyone you cannot save00:07:22
anyone to be honest if a person does not00:07:25
want to change if a person does not want00:07:27
to be saved00:07:28
you will not save anyone and you'll just00:07:32
lose your energy trying to do that00:07:35
realize something00:07:36
i just think that00:07:38
people get problems certain problems in00:07:40
their life or certain situations because00:07:43
god gives that to them and it's for them00:07:45
to learn and it's for them to00:07:47
um00:07:48
to go through so they can become wiser00:07:50
and so they can00:07:52
fulfill their life00:07:54
purpose kind of and me always stepping00:07:57
in and trying to help and be the savior00:07:59
i think that shows a message to god as00:08:01
well like i'm trying to00:08:04
put myself in his place you know what i00:08:05
mean like why am i trying to save them00:08:08
that's not my place to do so00:08:10
so i think as well if you're always00:08:13
someone that's trying to save someone00:08:15
you'll just you'll just block your00:08:16
blessings by doing that start being okay00:08:19
with people misunderstanding you00:08:22
they do not have to understand you and00:08:24
you know what it's very reasonable that00:08:27
they don't understand you00:08:29
listen you might want to do something in00:08:31
life you might have this dream of yours00:08:33
or whatever but you have to realize00:08:36
people have00:08:38
come from different cultures people have00:08:41
different parents people were raised a00:08:43
different way people went to different00:08:45
schools different neighborhoods00:08:47
they will not understand you they do not00:08:49
have the same mindset as you they do not00:08:51
have the same heart as you like you00:08:54
cannot make them understand you and make00:08:56
them feel for you because they're not00:08:58
you00:09:00
they are not you00:09:02
so you trying to constantly be like oh00:09:05
but you have to understand it or or be00:09:07
like oh why do they hurt me i wouldn't00:09:09
do that to them they're not you00:09:12
they're not you00:09:13
that's it00:09:15
and you have to accept that00:09:16
and if you're constantly gonna go00:09:18
through life thinking that everybody has00:09:20
the same heart as you honey listen to me00:09:23
i have done that and i have been hurt00:09:25
multiple times until i understood people00:09:28
are just different and that's okay00:09:30
that's okay00:09:31
let them be another thing is stop trying00:09:33
to change people00:09:36
listen00:09:38
our human nature is comfort00:09:41
humans love comfort00:09:43
in order to change it takes a lot of00:09:46
discomfort to change and it takes a lot00:09:48
of courage it takes a lot of strength00:09:50
most people don't want that and that's00:09:53
okay00:09:54
it's not because you want those things00:09:56
and you want a great life or whatever00:09:58
and you want to accomplish all these big00:09:59
goals00:10:00
that00:10:01
they have to want that00:10:02
a lot of people are okay with their00:10:04
small-minded living are okay with their00:10:06
things because that's all they know and00:10:08
that's their comfort a lot of people00:10:10
don't think that there's anything wrong00:10:11
with them a lot of people go through00:10:13
life thinking that they're smart enough00:10:15
they have it all figured out they have00:10:17
no traumas00:10:18
but that's okay because you cannot00:10:21
change that00:10:22
see a lot of people dm me and they say00:10:24
liz you changed my life you changed my00:10:26
life your videos changed my life00:10:29
i didn't do anything00:10:30
i didn't do anything because as much00:10:34
videos i'm going to make i can make 1000:10:36
hours of content daily you can listen to00:10:39
them get motivated00:10:41
but if you do not want to change you're00:10:43
not going to change00:10:45
i cannot force you to00:10:48
and you have to understand that if00:10:49
you're constantly giving your energy to00:10:51
try to make it trying to make people00:10:53
change to become the best version of00:10:54
yourself you're wasting your energy that00:10:57
you can use to become your best virgin00:11:00
to create your dream life and you know00:11:03
what lead by example00:11:05
if you start to create a dream life for00:11:07
yourself everyone in your family and00:11:10
everyone you love will start to see you00:11:12
as an example and also try to change00:11:14
something in their life because they see00:11:16
it's possible for you00:11:18
that's how you change people by just00:11:20
giving them an example00:11:22
is stop needing people to validate your00:11:25
self-worth00:11:26
listen00:11:27
i don't need anyone to tell me how good00:11:30
i am i don't need anyone to tell me how00:11:32
beautiful i am how smart i am because i00:11:35
see those qualities in myself already00:11:38
i know that i am smart i'm beautiful how00:11:42
good i am at what i'm doing i know these00:11:44
things obviously when i get a compliment00:11:46
i'm very thankful grateful amazing but i00:11:49
don't need that from someone i don't00:11:51
need you to tell me that because i can00:11:54
see those qualities in myself already if00:11:57
you only feel that you're a good person00:11:59
when somebody else tells you you're a00:12:00
good person00:12:02
um if you need that validation from00:12:04
other people then honestly you're just a00:12:06
slave to other people because their00:12:09
opinion can change your reality00:12:11
when you are the one that always creates00:12:14
your own reality00:12:15
so what anyone else says see if somebody00:12:18
says to me liz you're so good00:12:21
um i love you so much and if that will00:12:23
make me happy and make me go up in my00:12:25
self-worth00:12:27
then the same way when somebody says oh00:12:29
i hate your videos what you're saying is00:12:30
so stupid00:12:32
that will make my words go down00:12:34
so what that makes me is literally their00:12:36
little puppet they can make me go up and00:12:39
down no you have to be strong in your00:12:41
own self and you have to look at00:12:44
yourself and be like oh you know what00:12:45
i'm amazing i literally went through so00:12:48
much stuff in life i'm still standing00:12:51
and i'm still going for it and only for00:12:53
that i am amazing and you have to00:12:55
recognize that in yourself well another00:12:57
thing i start doing is just talking to00:12:59
myself like even when i go to bed and00:13:01
stuff i just talk to myself about my day00:13:03
how i felt when i am stressed what i00:13:06
started doing is basically be like okay00:13:08
liz literally talking to myself like00:13:10
okay liz uh why are you stressed what00:13:12
are you feeling right now and things00:13:14
will come up like oh this is why i feel00:13:16
i feel like i have to do this and this00:13:18
and this then i'm like okay but don't00:13:20
you i literally tell myself okay don't00:13:21
you think you you can do it like you did00:13:23
it before like do it again00:13:25
and it's like a whole conversation with00:13:27
myself00:13:28
and i really started realizing like wow00:13:31
see i give everyone advice but i can00:13:34
give that advice to myself as well00:13:35
because i need it sometimes and00:13:38
honestly it just really was00:13:40
life-changing going on dates by myself00:13:43
talking to myself hugging myself00:13:45
literally like00:13:47
saying in the mirror how amazing i am to00:13:49
myself being more in my feminine energy00:13:52
so i used to be very very always in my00:13:55
masculine energy always chasing things00:13:57
always trying to accomplish whatever00:14:00
and you know what i've realized because00:14:02
being in your family feminine basically00:14:04
means00:14:07
letting it flow00:14:08
just receiving things and just being00:14:10
calm nurturing things like that you know00:14:13
and i realized when i just was like you00:14:15
know what i am not gonna00:14:17
literally i'm gonna stop chasing00:14:19
everything and just attracting that's00:14:22
when everything also came in00:14:24
because i am so relaxed like i do not00:14:27
want to stress anymore about anything um00:14:31
i just do whatever i feel is good for me00:14:34
i do whatever i feel is good for my body00:14:37
and it makes me very00:14:39
calm it makes me very open to receive00:14:42
all my blessings to receive all my00:14:44
manifestations00:14:46
and00:14:47
i think when you are not desperately00:14:50
looking for things or desperately00:14:52
chasing after things00:14:54
then you're really whole00:14:57
and your energy is whole when i am whole00:15:01
anything00:15:02
i want in my life will come to me00:15:04
anyways00:15:05
because i am not desperate the energy of00:15:08
desperation is gone00:15:10
i can attract anything i want whenever i00:15:13
want another thing is only adding great00:15:15
people into my life00:15:17
listen you won't know how a person is00:15:19
from the beginning immediately you know00:15:21
sometimes you click in the beginning and00:15:23
then it fades out and whatever it00:15:24
doesn't matter but00:15:27
whoever i date whoever i allow his00:15:29
friend right now has to add value and00:15:32
i'm not talking about money or all these00:15:34
things no in terms of are you making me00:15:36
happy00:15:37
or are is it like a boat weight thing00:15:40
you know i pour into you you pour into00:15:42
me is it like that or am i again pouring00:15:44
in and there's nothing coming back for00:15:46
me00:15:47
so i start to realize that00:15:50
yeah like i said people that are very00:15:52
always negative training things like00:15:54
that oh everything is against me00:15:57
my life is so bad and they're not00:15:59
willing to do anything i don't allow00:16:00
them in my life i'm sorry i do not have00:16:03
space for you go figure figure it out00:16:06
like i had to figure it out obviously00:16:08
when my friends00:16:10
have a go go to depression or bad days00:16:13
or whatever they always come to me and i00:16:15
still always will help them because i00:16:17
love them but my friends try to improve00:16:20
they're always trying to improve they're00:16:22
always doing stuff to improve00:16:25
i will not be friends with people that00:16:27
are okay with being miserable and then00:16:29
complain about being miserable00:16:32
you cannot be my friend i don't need00:16:34
anyone's permission to do whatever i00:16:36
think is the best for me00:16:38
i know myself well enough right now to00:16:42
know whatever i want whatever i want to00:16:45
have get whatever i can get and i will00:16:48
get and i don't need you to say liz you00:16:50
can do it i know i can do it and i will00:16:53
do it you know00:16:54
i don't need to ask anyone for anything00:16:56
because i'm the one making my own money00:16:58
i'm the one doing everything that i need00:17:01
in order to support myself and support00:17:03
people that i love so00:17:06
you sing like oh yeah don't do this do00:17:09
this whatever00:17:10
no i don't care00:17:12
i don't care your opinion is irrelevant00:17:14
to me because00:17:16
how cocky are you to think00:17:18
that you know me better than i know00:17:21
myself00:17:22
you have not gone through anything that00:17:24
i have gone through you have not lived00:17:26
my life and yet you are here00:17:29
deciding whether you think it's okay or00:17:31
not what i'm doing00:17:33
none of your business00:17:34
goodbye thank you so much for watching00:17:36
this video guys i love you guys so much00:17:40
and yeah i see you in the next videoDescription:
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