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Download "Азбука Уральских Пельменей - Ш — Уральские Пельмени"

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Table of contents
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Table of contents

0:00
Начало
0:58
Аккаунт сына
9:12
Бомж в полиции
17:32
Жена моет окно
25:21
Шурик в обувном магазине
32:54
Деревня Клад
40:52
Семейный чат
48:03
Собака одна дома
55:01
На заводе
1:03:13
Арамчик у врача
Video tags
|

Video tags

уральские пельмени
азбука уральских пельменей
азбука Ш
шоу на стс
аккаунт сына
бомж в полиции
жена моет окно
шурик
деревня клад
семейный чат
собака одна дома
на заводе
арамчик у врача
дмитрий брекоткин
дмитрий соколов
андрей рожков
уральские пельмени новое
уральские пельмени лучшее
уральские пельмени смехбук
уральские пельмени азбука
азбука уральских пельменей ш
Subtitles
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Subtitles

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  • ruRussian
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00:00:57
grandma didn’t like her grandson’s page on
00:01:01
social networks and she really threw up on it.
00:01:07
Warbler closed the contact.
00:01:10
I was already scared by the yellow and the record in the
00:01:14
crystals, reset it, she can
00:01:17
read it, but what is he writing there, then
00:01:18
please, at least with one little eye, but
00:01:20
please, with one eye at a time,
00:01:23
that’s what you are doing that's how inquisitive the cycle is,
00:01:27
why should you watch this? leave the
00:01:29
guy alone; a guy who is already an adult lives, a fully-
00:01:32
aged guy, but not a minor,
00:01:35
since he is 17 years and 11 months old,
00:01:39
well, please, let's see, but what if
00:01:41
there is some kind of company, is it bad, is there
00:01:43
crime, God forbid, several
00:01:45
companies? You remember yourself from 17 years old,
00:01:48
let’s see,
00:01:52
well, well, they raised a normal son,
00:01:57
look, he communicates with some disabled people,
00:01:59
he’s a blind guy, I see him with
00:02:01
eyesores, so this is Eljay in front of the
00:02:08
girl writes something like this, Liza Tarasova,
00:02:11
you weren’t at the party yesterday, this the good ones have a flight,
00:02:18
why are you crying, you brought reports at 16 with a warbler,
00:02:22
well, otherwise others, if
00:02:26
others are true, it’s not, it’s to divorce him, he
00:02:30
wants this, I know I had the same
00:02:32
story,
00:02:35
so let’s calm down, now I’ll write, I
00:02:38
know how our son is obse let's write
00:02:40
let's answer you know that darling
00:02:45
live with mine and then hang noodles on my
00:02:49
ears
00:02:51
amal only daddy me darling on
00:02:53
the professional network and
00:02:56
in the end even before I drank then I want to
00:02:59
reject
00:03:02
they are talking there now what I don't
00:03:05
like myself so I'll write now
00:03:07
come on I’ll write right now, it means because this t t t t t t t t
00:03:11
t t where are you, let me
00:03:19
pisa fight, you decide, and let’s write
00:03:21
who-who-who p.o. after days he and
00:03:26
dad
00:03:31
and I’m not harsh, well, let’s add this emoticon, let’s add this
00:03:37
emoticon, this little cake, this
00:03:40
brown note, this is an
00:03:42
anthill with a smile, this is a
00:03:45
pyramid
00:03:46
smiling, just how fun it is, let’s
00:03:49
all protect our son,
00:03:51
so let’s watch it some video here
00:03:54
and watch funny game drunk man licking
00:03:59
ice and eating live crucian carp
00:04:02
launch looks like
00:04:05
[music]
00:04:14
but I didn’t want to go fishing with you anymore
00:04:17
raum no more fields
00:04:21
encrypted correspondence some kind of something
00:04:23
CIS cpc and you spc
00:04:29
norms
00:04:31
cat low kick from carry
00:04:36
skire and rather a little Arabs Averbukh come on,
00:04:42
I'll do it now I'll fly to the end now
00:04:46
KGB
00:04:48
FSB
00:04:51
mane
00:04:53
your chica
00:04:55
you're a seagull
00:04:57
this is the GDP
00:05:02
who you contacted it's necessary it can be a fig with
00:05:05
add a
00:05:06
store PGS even I'm afraid
00:05:09
answers so you what her
00:05:14
you what are you what yoga I smell you what and
00:05:19
let's write, I'm dads and moms and they're
00:05:24
against it, so everyone
00:05:27
let's take a photo for him and put it up,
00:05:30
let's see this is my favorite, here's a
00:05:33
childhood photo of him where he's smeared with chocolate
00:05:36
because it's not chocolate, it's
00:05:40
black and white, come on,
00:05:46
I mean and also change his status
00:05:48
so that it’s clear that he’s a
00:05:50
family man, that there’s a mom and a dad, then I
00:05:52
’ll change it, let’s now I’ll write to him, I
00:05:54
’ve changed everything to create a
00:06:02
mampap,
00:06:04
get acquainted with this Lisa,
00:06:05
act, and Liza Liza Tarasova means it’s
00:06:11
clear
00:06:13
the accounts are tense about what and
00:06:16
we’re not tense we sit and watch TV, my
00:06:18
mother, my mother cooks until I have gray hairs, so I want
00:06:21
the TV to be turned off, so we
00:06:24
watched our reflection
00:06:26
[music] I
00:06:29
even want to again or something, well, you promised a
00:06:34
little something like that, too, the
00:06:37
same status I have for my father and
00:06:41
mother, I will kill
00:06:44
together and family status a bunch of mother
00:06:47
mentioned father mentioned family we are
00:06:49
friendly china ok all
00:06:51
the words we actually saved you from this
00:06:53
professional network write to you
00:06:55
all kinds yes so how can I write
00:06:58
if I’m walking with him at this time I’ll
00:07:00
tell you more you’re answering me now
00:07:05
young man, not for you, mommy
00:07:10
and daddy raised me
00:07:14
to be with all sorts of loafers me
00:07:17
prank
00:07:21
I touched
00:07:23
to do this as in general, well, like communicated
00:07:27
had fun, it’s clear mom changed my status
00:07:30
I’m the most charming and
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attractive kapets and shoes dolls
00:07:35
brown pie
00:07:39
I’m home visa I’m with you Slavochka
00:07:43
please, we won’t really
00:07:45
talk about the pregnancy of our grandchildren Seryozha,
00:07:47
let’s call
00:07:52
it not, but this is one thing that makes us happy that our mother-in-law is in
00:07:57
one of the outer parts
00:07:59
10 take the jellied meat, let’s go to the new
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relatives to mingle
00:08:08
[applause]
00:08:10
[music]
00:08:13
[applause]
00:08:15
[music]
00:08:17
Zubarev can you imagine what should a
00:08:20
person who drank 10 billion look like
00:08:29
[music]
00:08:40
[applause]
00:08:43
[music]
00:08:46
[applause]
00:08:48
[music]
00:09:11
working in the police is difficult in communication
00:09:15
work easier
00:09:20
hello citizen, take a seat well
00:09:23
what what happened and
00:09:26
I can find him don’t be so
00:09:29
upset is it a person or
00:09:31
is it a TV person, well, let’s
00:09:34
write it all down, he will have
00:09:37
such an average build,
00:09:39
height, one meter seventy,
00:09:43
blond, smart, what’s his name, it’s not
00:09:49
important at all
00:09:51
in my thoughts,
00:09:53
but if I can’t find him for 30 years,
00:09:57
maybe at least you’ll find him for me,
00:10:01
we have nothing to do, but let’s go but if
00:10:04
the police fall on but if we must
00:10:07
call people, we must look for us, we will find her, but do
00:10:10
n’t worry, we will find her father, let’s go, I do
00:10:12
n’t promise, I promise, thank you, who is there,
00:10:16
Israel, wishing, citizen, chief,
00:10:19
Jobare,
00:10:22
I have this sincere confession,
00:10:25
Zubarev, where did you get clean and
00:10:28
healthy, citizen, chief what
00:10:30
started
00:10:32
okay what did you do this time in short write a
00:10:37
sincere confession boss it was I who
00:10:41
stole the cosmodrome
00:10:47
I mean I’m right in I you
00:10:50
stole every penny I don’t I’m all
00:10:54
formalizing all 10 billion
00:10:59
how many 10 billion pause-pause
00:11:04
now
00:11:08
alenatci you’re taking me for a sucker
00:11:10
I found out the real amount came out the amount
00:11:13
got married spruce won’t go for that price I don’t
00:11:16
agree yes
00:11:17
not 5 thousand five bottles of vodka 5 thousand and 6
00:11:21
bottles that’s how
00:11:23
everyone agreed so
00:11:26
that all 10 billion is me down to the penny
00:11:31
everything is straight though
00:11:34
okay so where are you going
00:11:36
[music ]
00:11:39
struck
00:11:42
Zubarev can you imagine what a
00:11:44
person who spent 10
00:11:47
billion should look like and
00:11:53
find a paper a
00:11:56
little bit write where you spent 10
00:12:00
billion rubles
00:12:04
so the first
00:12:06
shawarma shawarma
00:12:12
200 rubles
00:12:15
double
00:12:18
I until 22 00 works with double sauce
00:12:22
[music]
00:12:25
in garlic pita bread and more
00:12:29
Danes 2 shavukha
00:12:34
for free a boat
00:12:37
in a glass with an
00:12:41
iron lid
00:12:47
chocolate and
00:12:51
lay down to wipe it on us
00:12:54
with crackers what brains are composting write
00:12:56
where you spent it but it all means so you
00:12:58
know the words but they mean we multiply 365 it turns
00:13:03
out it means it
00:13:06
turns out that something doesn’t work out for you it does
00:13:08
n’t fit the initial what doesn’t go with
00:13:11
accounting, so I see that it doesn’t add up, remember
00:13:14
where else I spent it, I barely understood during the
00:13:15
battalion commander they’re rummaging with my ass,
00:13:17
I also think where they spend that kind of money
00:13:21
all their soul steam room
00:13:25
[music]
00:13:29
200 you again, me again you, yes, yes, he
00:13:32
loads who he found, well, you found him
00:13:36
city ​​dweller, are you kidding me that in 5
00:13:38
minutes in the past, how can we find him in
00:13:40
5 minutes, well, but on your door it says
00:13:42
operations department, but in fact everything is
00:13:45
quite slow and we are looking for Beijing and looking for the whining ones, let’s
00:13:48
go, we will find everything
00:13:51
[music]
00:13:56
the kettle
00:13:59
split me
00:14:01
right in the mouth without a mustache,
00:14:05
Columbus without a cape,
00:14:08
they swore with a beautiful face and
00:14:12
the packages, the cormorant and I defeated for
00:14:16
two until the cormorant is aware that you have mastered 10
00:14:19
billion
00:14:24
in the course, now you are already aware
00:14:29
if with your cormorant it is enough to
00:14:30
fool your head, after all, he was in the rocket to the
00:14:33
guy's garage, but you're a homeless person, well, you're also a
00:14:36
homeless person, well, go for a walk somewhere, why are you walking
00:14:39
in my area, go smoke
00:14:40
somewhere else in the area, you can get away from them
00:14:42
walking with her, some kind of housewife and
00:14:45
your fault goes to the roots or something I know the
00:14:49
bones, what’s wrong, but please
00:14:54
just find him, I would feed him and give him something to
00:14:57
drink, and even let him drink sometimes, the
00:15:00
main thing is that he’s not a walker, he’s not a walker,
00:15:06
zubarev, but only all
00:15:10
10 billion,
00:15:13
what did he say, not a walker, it seems like he’s not
00:15:16
walker, and
00:15:17
how tall are you? meter seventy, I
00:15:20
don’t know, plus or minus there, depending on how much the
00:15:22
Greeks are on the heels of his
00:15:25
tick-tock Zubarev and you’re not a blond guy by chance
00:15:28
also remembers him, now
00:15:30
so okay, the couple is like 5000 rubles and
00:15:35
vodka more than once and once a week
00:15:40
you offend the boss I’m wet I won’t
00:15:42
sign up
00:15:44
there out of wetness 1 week muscle
00:15:47
1 week well give it back I don’t feel
00:15:52
boobs citizen and
00:15:58
why am I so shaggy
00:16:01
so don’t like arson don’t wait I’ll
00:16:06
dial
00:16:09
so I want only on one condition that I
00:16:11
don’t see the two of you in my office
00:16:19
rocket
00:16:21
[music] [ applause]
00:16:27
[music]
00:16:30
[applause]
00:16:32
[music]
00:16:36
this is dad done at a corporate party, she did
00:16:38
n’t just come up to me and kissed me, but I immediately
00:16:40
pushed him away, then you have to look at him and
00:16:42
so with both hands, paw,
00:16:44
well, again, the size there is simply nowhere
00:16:47
else, he pushed him away, whatever case
00:16:51
he gets there
00:16:54
[music]
00:17:01
[applause]
00:17:04
[music]
00:17:11
he
00:17:14
[music]
00:17:26
with a
00:17:29
[music]
00:17:32
girls if on March 8 they brought me
00:17:35
breakfast in bed, don’t be upset,
00:17:38
maybe it’s already 9,
00:17:41
well, well, the general thing to do now the black
00:17:45
window remains to wash the bed
00:17:46
at last aha come on everyone Elena before
00:17:49
he starts the last push and
00:17:53
fight as they say
00:17:57
yes what is this kind of
00:18:00
life oh my god
00:18:03
I’m so tired of it all
00:18:14
how it’s very
00:18:19
dry now what are you tired I’m just saying I’m
00:18:23
tired do
00:18:24
n’t do anything stupid
00:18:27
like no I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time, I’ve been wanting
00:18:30
to do this again,
00:18:31
well, I’ve been wanting to do this since spring, I’m
00:18:36
just tired of this dirt,
00:18:39
what kind of dirt are you, people talking about me or
00:18:44
you, after all, I want to whisper, press how
00:18:47
can I not only see, everyone said about it to me
00:18:49
already
00:18:51
in the morning, she came He poked his mother right in the face,
00:18:54
so where is the evil
00:18:57
Lesha, in your opinion, she’s so blind, I’m
00:19:00
tired of all these divorces, do I
00:19:02
think so too,
00:19:04
just no divorces please,
00:19:07
who makes me nervous, only I was nervous,
00:19:10
if you came and took it all yourself,
00:19:13
I’m
00:19:17
still you, why are mutations children, oh,
00:19:21
really the smartest, I
00:19:23
first wanted to go there, Pashka is doing his homework,
00:19:26
I decided not to interfere,
00:19:32
you’d
00:19:36
better not let anyone see, even hit that
00:19:39
no one saw a miracle for yourself or something, it’s
00:19:42
only a
00:19:44
700 report look, then there’s the twenty-
00:19:47
fifth floor, just come on I’d rather do it,
00:19:50
let everyone look, okay, call your mother,
00:19:53
let them also rejoice at
00:20:02
the photo,
00:20:03
be happy about something, that
00:20:06
Olezh, you know me perfectly well, you and I have
00:20:09
been living together for a lot of years, I
00:20:11
’ll hurt myself like hell, but I’ll do it,
00:20:15
just give me your hand,
00:20:19
send me with all this talk, you’re
00:20:22
just delaying everything a long time ago,
00:20:24
they made complaints to everyone calmly, I
00:20:31
found his phone number, yes, I read this correspondence
00:20:33
Sasha tire service valley,
00:20:36
what Sasha tire service, yes, she is no good
00:20:40
ksyusha &
00:20:42
the papas work, she
00:20:45
came up to me at a corporate party, didn’t just kiss one thing, I
00:20:47
immediately pushed the garden away from him so nodov’s chest
00:20:50
and so with both hands a paw, well,
00:20:52
there’s just a size 5 there’s just no, it’s
00:20:54
more to push this away anyway, you
00:20:56
get
00:20:57
things Ksyusha there 5 here 25 I beg you,
00:21:02
don’t jump
00:21:04
[music]
00:21:06
what do you think that I
00:21:09
’ll put up with your mistakes for the rest of
00:21:12
my life,
00:21:17
you know what kind of problems did
00:21:22
you find out about the salary? Yes, well, yes,
00:21:27
in general, I don’t bring it all home; they give
00:21:29
me some more in an envelope;
00:21:31
some up to 6; somewhat the same amount;
00:21:38
and how much is the same; 2 times
00:21:40
more;
00:21:43
3 times more; Ksyusha but but but but I don’t
00:21:47
spend everything in Odessa on my card I’m
00:21:49
all wonderful wonderful and
00:21:51
we’ve been saving for a new phone for as long as I’m two
00:21:53
years old already
00:21:55
we’ll go and buy a fur coat tomorrow for me buy a fur coat
00:21:58
buy a fur coat I bought 2 cars for my
00:22:02
wife we’ll buy too
00:22:04
I haven’t heard before, I just put a lot of pressure on the
00:22:07
model, I’ve already chosen the model
00:22:15
and
00:22:16
sorted it out with the salary, then we move on, what’s
00:22:18
considered knows what’s next, I’m
00:22:21
going to say it myself,
00:22:23
our apartment is no longer mortgaged,
00:22:26
and I’ve already saved up these envelopes,
00:22:28
closed the mortgage
00:22:31
in my own, we live so great,
00:22:33
hello x husband of these shades, rest in peace,
00:22:37
I'm not disgusting, I realized it's very slow, I'm
00:22:41
just wildly sorry, the bucket fell out of the window,
00:22:47
I don't know if it's useful to you or not, but it just
00:22:50
hit my car right 1,
00:22:53
please forgive me, no big deal, we just
00:22:56
wanted to make a car setup in the yard
00:22:58
to make my insurance activate
00:23:08
[laughter] out of
00:23:18
fright I came up with an idea for a period
00:23:24
[applause]
00:23:25
[music]
00:23:28
when I’m worried I have an
00:23:30
interesting idea at work and
00:23:36
you collided with my and
00:23:41
my feelings for him and the only
00:23:45
request is let’s not get divorced and what other times
00:23:48
will there be why should I get divorced Tomorrow
00:23:51
the phone will be for a new car, we will
00:23:53
choose a show, in the end they will
00:23:55
breed and I meant streaks in the sense
00:23:58
of the window so that without streaks, how
00:24:00
will it work out for you, we are now at home
00:24:04
in the window
00:24:08
[applause]
00:24:10
[music] [applause]
00:24:12
[ music]
00:24:15
[applause] [music]
00:24:17
[applause]
00:24:18
[music]
00:24:19
[applause]
00:24:24
[music]
00:24:27
don't wait, the sura is transmitted precisely in dots
00:24:30
35 years thirty years has not been going
00:24:33
[music]
00:24:35
that is, you went at the age of five
00:24:41
[music]
00:24:53
stem you
00:24:55
[music ]
00:25:05
[music]
00:25:07
[applause]
00:25:09
[music]
00:25:17
[music]
00:25:20
in cheap shoe stores made of
00:25:24
genuine leather only sellers
00:25:29
[music]
00:25:35
[applause] hello
00:25:39
throttle hello
00:25:42
the pharmacy has moved
00:25:45
now here is the region of luxury shoes but in
00:25:49
Odessa then I can count on yes she
00:25:52
understands it herself qualified
00:25:55
help in solving my simple
00:25:58
question,
00:25:59
such a question, I have a review from
00:26:04
what’s
00:26:06
wrong with your launch and didn’t fit
00:26:11
like it didn’t fit at all, they didn’t fit at all, they were a
00:26:16
mountain of a
00:26:20
completely different size, at first I thought maybe
00:26:23
this was a problem with my skills,
00:26:26
so they wait Sura will survive with such
00:26:29
scissors for 35 years, thirty years, he hasn’t been
00:26:32
walking,
00:26:35
that is, you went in five years, not
00:26:41
this, at 27 there was a short break,
00:26:45
this is a football
00:26:49
injury, the fans are in the wrong sector, ate
00:26:54
everything, let’s formalize and return oh, well, don’t
00:26:57
say that, it’s better to drink tea
00:27:00
victory for the chip in everything
00:27:03
I hope you are formal and some water will not be
00:27:06
necessary cheerfulness
00:27:07
herbal tea well well
00:27:10
well let's see what you have there
00:27:13
let's look otherwise it's
00:27:17
rare where
00:27:19
in the box ahira buried his hamster
00:27:26
Yaga brought home these boots took them
00:27:30
out of the box about him looked at it was burning and how can she
00:27:37
get into the box and there’s a box in my side
00:27:40
I’m sorry don’t calm down
00:27:43
calm down we
00:27:45
broke through the seagull to win and q
00:27:50
well let’s see what’s wrong with your
00:27:53
manners by the way this is the photo of
00:27:55
my hamster
00:27:57
don’t you need to put it away please before him behind the
00:27:59
dead branches I’m afraid of cognacs carbon
00:28:02
veins give yours for the box I’ll find out you
00:28:04
better look here
00:28:08
what,
00:28:09
well, they are completely different
00:28:13
good wind
00:28:17
would be super my text to speak and that’s why I
00:28:21
came to you planned the size
00:28:25
they are, in principle, different
00:28:28
different styles
00:28:31
roses of different colors
00:28:34
Christmas tree sticks this masculine this feminine
00:28:36
contentment
00:28:39
painful,
00:28:41
well, at least here it coincided
00:28:44
simple, that’s why it took me a long time to
00:28:47
understand Sony of different sizes,
00:28:50
and of course,
00:28:54
to treat and you immediately how many defects we have with an
00:28:56
electrode that looks like a professional, well, about
00:29:00
owls, there are also different price tags, horses and I did
00:29:05
n’t take them off, I’m
00:29:06
prudent, wow,
00:29:09
this is 4000 that 2 having given me they took me in both
00:29:15
6000 before so you drive the knock will quickly
00:29:18
show it is flowing please listen to it
00:29:22
be sure to it is very advisable to purchase
00:29:25
tedious
00:29:27
cartridges so here is
00:29:30
sour cream yoga
00:29:34
this is from the grocery receipt I’m handing over the receipt in me
00:29:37
and the boots boots from your store
00:29:40
from our village let’s drive money,
00:29:42
too, don’t be nervous and you’re so dad below and
00:29:43
fugue
00:29:45
at least some benefit from your store
00:29:48
I’m not two and don’t lead rather half
00:29:52
of these couple I’m here now boy
00:29:55
he’s returning to a couple of the site somehow their
00:29:59
own problems first already then return the
00:30:02
hairdresser, I need a tank at
00:30:03
the factory, I’m glad,
00:30:07
run, what they did,
00:30:10
and
00:30:11
what they did, don’t
00:30:14
connect it at all, that’s how it was,
00:30:17
I understood.
00:30:20
let's charge the funds already, well,
00:30:23
let's, I propose to level out the difference
00:30:24
between the Komi color model, find you an
00:30:26
excellent pair from the new collection, not
00:30:29
this is a bank loan, they were also advertised,
00:30:31
now you know who should drink in the valley,
00:30:33
teach him to say this word
00:30:37
cuticle to him,
00:30:40
I and I don’t know, let’s after all, let's replace it with
00:30:43
this, we need to bring it to the boy, conducts it at
00:30:45
42, so there is no need to bring anything, you
00:30:48
see, and the glass is no longer half pluto
00:30:50
and Verka is full,
00:30:53
that 100 now there will be an accident at the
00:30:55
water utility, they already
00:30:58
said
00:31:02
you don’t ruffle before my man with
00:31:06
the weed left, provoked an accident at the
00:31:08
water utility,
00:31:09
listen I remembered where these second pairs were,
00:31:13
he came in yesterday, he brought in some nonsense
00:31:16
about his hamster, in general, he
00:31:18
completely blew my mind, I’ll accidentally put them on him oh my
00:31:22
God more go how are you going to live with this,
00:31:25
well, how can I get the money back, I’m sorry, what does the
00:31:28
money have to do with it, you killed Christ
00:31:34
[ music]
00:31:35
[applause]
00:31:36
[music]
00:31:37
[applause]
00:31:40
[music]
00:31:41
[applause]
00:31:47
[music]
00:31:48
[applause]
00:31:49
you
00:31:54
[music]
00:31:55
[applause]
00:31:56
[music] right here the
00:32:02
underwear is
00:32:04
destined here in any case, we need to
00:32:07
look for the owner, what do you suggest deeper
00:32:09
dig
00:32:12
[music]
00:32:24
[applause]
00:32:26
[music]
00:32:41
[music] an
00:32:54
ordinary bayonet shovel divided the
00:32:57
gennadiy worm into a gene, otherwise
00:33:03
come on let's dig worms dig otherwise everyone has been
00:33:07
fishing for a long time we are only digging we are
00:33:11
only digging under we need so much the shovel
00:33:13
has fallen out the bags will be a fisherman's dinner and
00:33:17
so Why are we digging then, but it’s yours
00:33:21
that we’ll find fishing rods,
00:33:26
metal fishing rods, exactly, a reel and corners, well,
00:33:29
comrade, would you at least
00:33:35
consciously rush today with a spinning rod, what I want, put a
00:33:37
suitcase, looking, well,
00:33:43
damn, I thought there were fishing rods
00:33:47
for a million right there, destined to be a kindhearted husband, I
00:33:51
need something look for the owner, why are you
00:33:54
proposing to dig deeper,
00:34:01
are you carrying it, let's think about let's do
00:34:03
something with the money,
00:34:05
do what they usually do with money, but let's share it, there are
00:34:07
millions of friends here in your hands; let’s
00:34:16
decide somehow, just
00:34:19
like we’ll decide, here’s a scar from a shovel that
00:34:22
year, we found 15 rubles, we almost didn’t decide
00:34:24
what
00:34:26
it looked like, 15 is divisible by 3,
00:34:29
maybe we’ll take it to the police, but well,
00:34:32
the suitcase is of no use, why would the police have
00:34:36
nowhere to put these suitcases with money?
00:34:40
Why don’t you watch TV, no, of course I
00:34:43
drank it away, I listened to it, I just gave it to him,
00:34:45
we’ll buy a new TV, well, in space, I’ll
00:34:48
try it again than eight times I bought it
00:34:51
eight times I sold it from me with
00:34:53
TVs, it’s a draw 88,
00:34:58
it depends on which side you look at; on
00:35:01
one side he’s a drunk and on the other hand he’s the
00:35:04
only one in the village, an electronics dealer,
00:35:09
we can’t divide it, maybe
00:35:12
we’ll spend it on something good, but as if in the village we
00:35:14
spent on a good one, there was
00:35:16
never anything good in the regional center, then they sell the
00:35:18
land urgently, so we’ll take it urgently,
00:35:20
so really, for good deeds, there’s something
00:35:23
useful for everyone, we’ll make a road in the
00:35:26
village, then we’ll make an asphalt joe in the village then
00:35:29
the chairman will kill why if
00:35:32
we make a road from our village, everyone will leave
00:35:34
along this good road,
00:35:38
listen, let’s build a
00:35:41
hefty barn for 10,000, the rest
00:35:44
will fill me up with change and dive into this money and
00:35:48
swim there Tinkoff,
00:35:51
what nonsense is this the last tea in 90, the second
00:35:54
year I saw the TV for the first time until I
00:35:56
sold the duck dives into the money, swims
00:35:59
and spits it there
00:36:02
Scrooge McDuck who was a drunk,
00:36:19
body world theater bought his tonus
00:36:30
here, well, where can we get one like
00:36:41
this? here's the
00:36:44
whole movie and this beauty if
00:36:46
the child is gyr that she is so
00:36:48
that she doesn't run away stockings in a large mesh
00:36:52
well how do you have a chain-link mesh for the chicken coop
00:36:54
avant play sweet and I
00:37:00
can't do it right on heels if the memory of the city is to call
00:37:03
that there is money like we have a telephone like that
00:37:05
only at the post office, as you
00:37:07
imagine, a kolobok microphone announces
00:37:10
attention to who ordered a prostitute and like a
00:37:14
second booth and you’re like that and why are you
00:37:17
standing up like you, you’ll look me in the eye
00:37:21
and you’re not what
00:37:25
we’re doing to you along this new asphalt road
00:37:28
and we’ll take you with the orchestra without shaking,
00:37:33
drunks pour and your eyes about
00:37:37
investments the head of the words in the
00:37:41
hall video we don’t drink at all anymore no
00:37:45
one closes the store with 17 locks
00:37:49
because 16 per night you are overloading
00:37:53
you thousands
00:37:56
otherwise you won’t fly in don’t make noise you better
00:38:00
tell me that it was from 8 whether it’s for us
00:38:03
so you did it to us, you already came up with a
00:38:05
bull, you
00:38:06
came up with a bull, but you just didn’t come up with a start,
00:38:10
but you came
00:38:12
up with something to
00:38:20
spend millions, it seems to me,
00:38:28
turn me around and by the evening she’ll get home
00:38:32
and the direction,
00:38:36
listen, listen, if it’s a business, you
00:38:40
just need money to shut it down
00:38:45
I'm talking without a bottle here, it looks like we can't
00:38:48
figure it out, let's take vodka
00:38:54
nikon subscribe
00:38:56
[applause]
00:38:59
you're stupid gem it turns out
00:39:03
shorter okay guys, what do we think
00:39:07
we'll quarrel with from this money, well, let's
00:39:10
bury the display and that's all, but rather than
00:39:12
in agreement than to start, let's
00:39:15
bury the money in a moment and tomorrow let's mean,
00:39:18
as we agreed in the morning at early
00:39:21
dawn to go fishing, she
00:39:25
agreed, well, let's see you tomorrow
00:39:27
Mitka happy max gave to his place until
00:39:29
tomorrow let's go
00:39:31
[applause]
00:39:39
so a big ruble for you [music
00:39:47
]
00:39:48
[applause]
00:39:50
[music]
00:40:25
little thing
00:40:27
[music]
00:40:39
bye [ music]
00:40:54
[applause]
00:40:55
[music]
00:40:58
Vika come here everything is already covered give
00:41:03
[music]
00:41:06
day well let's go to the table with a stove that I
00:41:09
let's get together as a family this century
00:41:12
let's get up six
00:41:14
times wait I'll answer let's
00:41:38
put on what we'll eat so
00:41:42
eat let's
00:41:45
ah so
00:41:49
okay
00:42:11
[music]
00:42:13
[applause]
00:42:19
[music]
00:42:29
[applause]
00:42:31
[music]
00:42:34
[applause]
00:42:48
[music]
00:42:54
[music]
00:42:57
[applause]
00:43:08
[music]
00:43:18
[music]
00:43:22
[applause]
00:43:42
[music]
00:43:45
[applause]
00:43:49
[music]
00:44:05
[ music]
00:44:08
[applause]
00:44:15
[music]
00:44:18
[applause]
00:44:20
[music] [applause] [
00:44:43
applause]
00:44:56
[music]
00:45:05
[music]
00:45:09
[applause] [
00:45:12
music] [
00:45:35
music] [
00:45:43
music]
00:46:25
[applause]
00:46:28
[music]
00:46:47
my battery
00:46:50
seems to be dead we talked well, why sit and loudly
00:46:53
you all of them in a year we will meet Petya
00:46:55
the defendant later
00:46:59
[applause]
00:47:02
[music] [
00:47:03
applause]
00:47:10
[music]
00:47:12
[applause]
00:47:13
[music]
00:47:19
no
00:47:21
saliva
00:47:23
quadruple generators foam party I have
00:47:28
[music]
00:47:39
hat
00:47:41
[music]
00:48:03
if the dog licks the owner, it means she
00:48:06
shares with him the goodies from the trash heap,
00:48:10
in short, I
00:48:12
say
00:48:14
this a little, who did it anyway, where are you,
00:48:20
oh you are such rubbish, his people, in general,
00:48:23
wait for him, please, well, maybe it’s not
00:48:25
him, but who needs to be driven away, of course, we were
00:48:28
robbed for 50 thousand as on tomorrow it’s
00:48:30
like you bought this
00:48:33
buttercup buttercup people are
00:48:38
drinking he’s sitting someone climbed under him 3 to
00:48:42
his not Vadima please just don’t hit
00:48:44
him don’t hit him of course 50,000 who will beat him
00:48:48
especially since their doctors are more expensive than ours
00:48:51
because you don’t have insurance
00:48:53
quickly you’re
00:49:01
even
00:49:06
saliva generator
00:49:08
40 foam party I was
00:49:12
just afraid that we weren’t there for a long time
00:49:15
I was afraid and now I’m afraid of the goods
00:49:17
in a mess with him I’ll send everything to Seryoga I
00:49:21
found out what he sent like that he
00:49:26
replied that he sent the answer he
00:49:29
writes mine I also think nothing it's being cleaned up
00:49:37
so that it's so that everything is dry there everything
00:49:42
that everything congratulations now you're Ksenia
00:49:46
Petrovka with her
00:49:49
Italian now
00:49:53
how's he wait although no like this do it
00:49:57
now
00:49:59
everyone congratulates them from behind the homeless person
00:50:03
I have a passport alive in my fur coat lying on the lord of
00:50:07
October it's like no look a whole know
00:50:10
the boundaries then of course 50,000 were poured with
00:50:14
brains, the dog gods there are little
00:50:16
gifts, but maybe he will grow up and
00:50:18
everything will be fine and he will also grow up and
00:50:22
mature, well, something, something, oh how
00:50:26
did you do it there behind your sofa,
00:50:29
here he is unexpectedly touching checklist
00:50:33
checkmate it turns out m oil painting I
00:50:37
look, well, it’s not a painting the whole
00:50:39
installation looks
00:50:41
interesting what the artist wanted to say
00:50:45
Pashka got sick from all this I’ll
00:50:48
lie down Malich
00:50:51
go my good result come on and I was
00:50:55
just afraid and we walked for so long and you
00:50:57
scared su don't be afraid
00:51:06
of him that the house who's there look he what I found
00:51:09
this cable another [ __ ] in the house he brought it
00:51:13
dim it's not him I bought it I wanted to give
00:51:15
you a surprise
00:51:30
try it on get out of there so
00:51:34
that what else is
00:51:39
this
00:51:43
what kind of decline are you what are you my new fishing
00:51:49
boots for 15,000 bought all the time herbs
00:51:52
oh you're rubbish you said not for
00:51:55
3000 bought
00:51:58
that you accepted it so well you're subordinated
00:52:02
displacement
00:52:03
you look also the bottles in the bar are all
00:52:06
empty Ahmad you're like Dima needs a
00:52:11
fingernail feelings for you hulk you're also
00:52:15
really an animal there must be some kind of
00:52:17
rubbish, but what are you going to do, okay, it
00:52:20
will become wide, then put the sofa in its place,
00:52:25
the key of
00:52:29
December, what are you up to, I want to
00:52:32
stroke him, I want to, well, you know
00:52:35
perfectly well what you need for him to believe you,
00:52:37
and
00:52:39
where is our
00:52:42
scratcher
00:52:49
[ music]
00:53:02
well sign now of course I’ll sign
00:53:06
phew I’ll sign with pleasure you’ll send
00:53:10
xenophobia you have no
00:53:13
dog tolerance
00:53:15
great everything now you can have a
00:53:19
real dog yourself scared to find
00:53:23
[music]
00:53:28
[applause]
00:53:33
and since congratulations but you yourself understand
00:53:35
now different owners forced the
00:53:37
exam score here it’s important we understand we need
00:53:39
an exam of course what to say thank you
00:53:42
thank you very much thank you
00:53:44
one more request yes what could they
00:53:47
come up with here’s another scratch we have
00:53:51
here like you want
00:53:57
like poisons
00:54:03
[music]
00:54:18
I erected a monument to myself miraculously
00:54:22
yours
00:54:25
[music]
00:54:37
gang-watering can
00:54:40
[ music]
00:54:53
[music]
00:54:58
[music]
00:55:00
at the plaster products factory all the women with
00:55:04
oars are
00:55:08
all there diman vidos funny what not
00:55:12
the salary came for this month I
00:55:16
thought with people they won’t
00:55:19
be able to earn money for a month, but it
00:55:20
turned out to be funnier for me to look around our boss is a
00:55:24
comedian right
00:55:25
[ music]
00:55:27
darova darova can you why are the faces so
00:55:32
sour cho cho cho my birthday is coming soon
00:55:38
what to give to a person who has everything
00:55:41
because you have nothing I’m
00:55:45
kidding I’m kidding birthday property
00:55:48
fire look it means honor of my
00:55:51
birthday I’m writing out a subspecies award for everything
00:55:55
and the news about how this is the best news
00:55:59
itself is good which for my birthday
00:56:02
we are chipping in 2,500
00:56:06
where we will take another 500 I
00:56:08
mean where is the titanium that the premiums drank 2,000
00:56:12
from there and take the
00:56:14
arched one will remain
00:56:18
inspect and do not forget about the personal
00:56:21
gift from everyone now the most important thing is
00:56:23
to know there will be a banquet fight a banquet write a
00:56:27
song about me the song should be
00:56:29
written that I am kind that I am generous that I am
00:56:32
modest
00:56:34
write a set of 4 so free for the
00:56:37
children's choir will perform for money don't
00:56:40
worry than the military cyst I
00:56:45
almost forgot everything you were fired
00:56:51
just because of why I
00:57:01
[music ]
00:57:09
played
00:57:11
let's play a song let's write a song let's
00:57:20
grill chicken
00:57:22
here and ville
00:57:25
what are you doing I choose a rhyme for the word
00:57:29
rotten there
00:57:33
is a good option
00:57:39
just you need to change the cattle how you
00:57:43
change I only the board of directors
00:57:44
can change
00:57:47
you studied in someone's literary
00:57:50
circle you know how
00:57:53
to write there in the Mayakovsky style there,
00:57:57
come on, like, we’re
00:58:00
wounded in the morning
00:58:02
around the workshop, you walk soberly, you walk along the
00:58:06
rusty fence with a strong hand, you take it
00:58:09
as you want, so that you come up to Kaiser voir
00:58:12
number 5 and the beam
00:58:14
falls under you and
00:58:17
the beam on top of you
00:58:22
plunges into the tank, you stop and gobble up the
00:58:25
acid on the skin of your feet infection and
00:58:28
happy birthday
00:58:36
Th child my cat transportation give me crucian
00:58:38
carp creepy
00:58:40
in the style of Pushkin Alexander Coren
00:58:44
I erected a monument to myself miraculous
00:58:49
creature product you
00:58:51
creature can hear the
00:58:55
epic seriously and such and such a sycophant of this in
00:58:57
short I won’t participate in this at all
00:58:59
I’ll just say that
00:59:01
I haven’t written anything, let him fire me at all,
00:59:04
I don’t care that there are three children and the wife of the house is
00:59:05
pregnant with her fourth and that the loan has not
00:59:08
been repaid, you are our treasure,
00:59:15
I’m composing in all the problems at home there is no
00:59:23
sonny for fright, well, how is it going like
00:59:27
clockwork and about a good person, it’s easy to
00:59:29
describe in warm as buckwheat, cheerful as a
00:59:33
stove, our beloved boss, Grigory
00:59:35
Perepechko, do you have this and almost one
00:59:38
on one right here to the
00:59:40
window Jones, I’ll probably sit with you, in fact, I wo
00:59:44
n’t bother him, let’s go thank you,
00:59:51
you’re wonderful, no doubt,
00:59:54
it’s good, because we had it right, yes
00:59:59
in the morning in the evening at lunch
01:00:02
you came down to us from heaven
01:00:07
right up the mountain the workshop climbed Sasha
01:00:14
like mother and father rolled into one, like
01:00:17
ostriches in one egg,
01:00:21
your swan-like figure is beautiful,
01:00:25
but I know that you are a creature, a
01:00:29
creature, then
01:00:32
I can’t, I can’t describe it normally,
01:00:37
in short, I sketched here the ideal
01:00:40
option 1
01:00:41
you are like a rotten pear
01:00:44
spit in our soul you are a grabber hamadryas and a
01:00:48
thief you are a disgrace you are our disgrace everything is right to the
01:00:53
point there let me read it right now in
01:00:59
short now don’t even let me blame it this is
01:01:02
for me the clock of the board of directors called
01:01:04
me on the way to transfer pipe branch
01:01:07
now I’m walking around the workshop thinking who should be
01:01:09
the boss instead of me Astana
01:01:13
like the table
01:01:16
the guys wrote normally they’ll give me yours
01:01:20
here’s yours here’s a grabber hamadryas thief I don’t
01:01:23
like it at all we can take
01:01:26
you our handsome man our eagle I
01:01:30
suggest so yes good and as you wrote
01:01:34
you’re our nightmare you are our disgrace, why is it
01:01:38
possible
01:01:40
to give this like this, you are our beloved hero, as
01:01:44
I suggested and
01:01:45
suggested, and I would like to say that as you
01:01:48
suggested or also changed something,
01:01:49
you know, like the last pathetic coward and
01:01:51
you suck the blood of the damned load, well, what is this?
01:01:54
I suggest that it’s like you
01:01:58
were sent to the stage without the
01:02:02
muscular Hercules and
01:02:06
the program up, I would definitely add the
01:02:09
waltz program and on the ancient theme of
01:02:11
dota the work went well, the work went
01:02:15
well, when it’s good but well done, I love
01:02:17
you I adore our zaya zaya zaya zaya
01:02:22
what kind of people and just as soon as
01:02:25
the light begins to dawn, Dina is up there, all
01:02:28
ready to push her friends over their
01:02:31
heads with her elbows, what kind of country is this? A
01:02:34
country of sycophants to careerists,
01:02:37
I hate Switzerland
01:02:42
[music] [
01:02:44
applause]
01:02:47
[music]
01:02:55
sit down like a tough straight not an ophthalmologist but a
01:02:59
tyrant drama of
01:03:01
tremors and the usurper
01:03:06
[music]
01:03:13
oculists begin to read books from the
01:03:16
bottom lines
01:03:19
you can come in and
01:03:22
[music]
01:03:31
and
01:03:34
good evening
01:03:37
good morning actually
01:03:41
we woke up together today to miss something well,
01:03:46
at least you missed the device with shoe covers
01:03:50
why is God or here on heart
01:03:54
so as not to get dirty they beat the robe when
01:03:58
you break it
01:03:59
that you have a medical examination to the right
01:04:02
still smart thanks to
01:04:07
the direction let's
01:04:09
head straight in not two meters
01:04:12
you will arrive at your destination
01:04:16
[applause]
01:04:18
I say direction to the medical examination
01:04:20
let's of course pick me up quickly 18
01:04:26
I'm already
01:04:29
[applause ]
01:04:31
wait, it’s last year, but only the
01:04:34
hospital you choose,
01:04:36
Lord, and ours is why you chose it, your
01:04:40
heart told you,
01:04:42
you hear how it knocks,
01:04:44
it’s paid off, the beauty is a killer, she’ll also hear from us,
01:04:51
sit down, how tough it’s straight, not an ophthalmologist from
01:04:56
seyran, straight glasses and a usurper,
01:05:02
only the flight is not enough
01:05:07
to order
01:05:10
one eye, close, I’m praying if you are
01:05:13
embarrassed you will be able to turn off why
01:05:16
close your eyes,
01:05:18
I say close one eye, read the
01:05:20
bottom line which the bottom ones were just
01:05:24
dedicated to you said gentle
01:05:28
read good
01:05:31
ud.
01:05:34
Sorry to hurry up in the syllables of the night,
01:05:37
read
01:05:38
this, then you read my thoughts, Snow White, yes,
01:05:43
ours is also your dwarf,
01:05:50
barut hotels,
01:05:54
I won’t give you a medical examination now, you don’t
01:05:57
want a car from you, bye. do
01:06:00
you want us to be in the back seat all the time,
01:06:03
the appearance of what
01:06:07
race is not enough, change your clothes
01:06:10
soon, let's go from
01:06:15
here already, we had balls and in general you can't
01:06:19
normally not talk to women or something, I'll
01:06:23
tell you a secret, not everyone in the world
01:06:26
wants you in the field, as long as they're right
01:06:30
woman, at least today, yes, I
01:06:33
mean for the next hour, okay,
01:06:35
let's get ready, otherwise you'll
01:06:38
walk until your legs wear out, they're so
01:06:41
short,
01:06:44
you can just sit down and read, and so
01:06:47
those who have ebay shut up, what kind of
01:06:53
visually impaired do we have here in the
01:06:58
morning anyway? what a different morning
01:07:06
about until we already missed Aron, this is the
01:07:10
charisma of a pony, but they had a
01:07:12
good evening there and
01:07:14
said hello already that you need a visa, let
01:07:19
me go through a medical examination there for the
01:07:21
right, a couple of loops, 7 different doctors, and I’ll
01:07:23
shoot the ophthalmologist and she says that this is
01:07:27
not the primate because you don’t need to
01:07:30
provoke me, and how interesting it is, I’m
01:07:34
provoking you,
01:07:35
how you got into my fantasy, you’re running
01:07:38
there alone, fanatics
01:07:42
[applause]
01:07:44
[music]
01:07:47
among the sunflowers,
01:07:50
you’re screaming little aron, my fate, where are you, it’s
01:07:58
so clear that everything comes out of the office
01:08:01
from him, like a dog in front of which a piece
01:08:03
meat lies no
01:08:05
more thinking can’t
01:08:09
the sun has set
01:08:12
good
01:08:17
letters we read about and mice and not all the ophthalmologist
01:08:22
passed
01:08:28
[music]
01:08:30
you see Aramovich is getting younger when you don’t want
01:08:36
him I say nothing they will hire these more beautiful
01:08:41
doctors I don’t walk in white coats with
01:08:44
their visa warring legs trampling on
01:08:46
my imagination
01:08:52
right there beautiful yes I’m a psychiatrist oh
01:08:56
well they’ll pass quickly
01:09:08
that we don’t evoke anything from you
01:09:11
why are you yawning respect
01:09:17
and everything
01:09:18
why and as an ophthalmologist just generally
01:09:21
admiration of the visual
01:09:24
in your fantasies I’m sure I’m doing what I’m doing I’ll
01:09:34
definitely tell you
01:09:37
[applause]
01:09:38
[music]
01:09:41
I’ll tell you everything the examination and I’ll close it,
01:09:45
no thanks, I’d better know for myself that
01:09:48
I’m a slender brunette neurologist
01:09:52
trainee Laura, size 5, what will you
01:09:55
do if
01:09:58
I tell you, then close the therapists and
01:10:03
surgeons work until three,
01:10:08
he lives in the south-west, I’m
01:10:13
even afraid to ask and the narcologists are in the house
01:10:17
where I live on the ground floor of the restaurant and the
01:10:18
elder has a sauna, but you can choose in
01:10:22
what order it
01:10:32
should be good, just can you start with the
01:10:36
restaurant,
01:10:39
tell me one last request, we can’t
01:10:43
have for inspiration on nora look
01:10:49
with one eye why they are in Grozny, I
01:10:52
ask for a hand of sheets there are still large letters
01:10:54
and the old man
01:10:59
[music]
01:11:01
[applause]
01:11:02
[music]
01:11:10
[applause]

Description:

Где искать хозяина миллиона? Как провести обед в семейном чате? На что похожа четвероногая пенная вечеринка? Куда пойти, чтобы встретить очкового узурпатора? Узнаете из нового выпуска «Азбуки Уральских Пельменей»! Подпишись на канал: https://www.youtube.com/c/ProPelmeny Билеты без наценки на pelmeny.net 00:00 Начало 0:58 Аккаунт сына 9:12 Бомж в полиции 17:32 Жена моет окно 25:21 Шурик в обувном магазине 32:54 Деревня Клад 40:52 Семейный чат 48:03 Собака одна дома 55:01 На заводе 1:03:13 Арамчик у врача Читай все наши новости, смотри фото, участвуй в конкурсах и узнавай обо всех событиях в команде в наших сообществах ⇛ ВК: http://vk.com/pelmeny_tv ⇛ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Pelmeny ⇛ Instagram: http://instagram.com/ural_pelmeny ⇛ Одноклассники: http://ok.ru/pelmeny ⇛ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Pelmeny ⇛ Мой Мир: http://my.mail.ru/community/ural_pelmeny

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