Download "Hikmat Wehbi Podcast #89 Amira Riaa أميرة ريا"
%3Aformat(webp)%2Fi.ytimg.com%252Fvi%252Ff0DE9CYXjF0%252Fmaxresdefault.jpg&w=1139&q=75)
Table of contents
Audio from this video
Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
Sometimes, it makes you imagine things that happened to you00:00:03
Which haven’t actually happened.00:00:04
Stories we've lived 00:00:05
We don’t have closure
نفقد الإختتام لها.00:00:09
Even society and the work environment
في المجتمع و بيئة العمل.00:00:12
Don’t appreciate the struggles which a mother goes through.
ما من أحد يقدّر ما تمرّ به الأمّ.00:00:15
Do you feel that that’s because of society’s pressure on women00:00:21
To get married early and get kids?00:00:27
They're always asking when.00:00:28
And they don’t give the woman time.00:00:29
People who are still figuring themselves out00:00:34
Do they give others a hard time?00:00:35
Yeah, big time.00:00:37
The first year of marriage was hard.00:00:39
It was like a tornado at home00:00:42
And a clash betweem his ideas and mine
ا بين أفكاري و أفكاره00:00:44
And his programing and mine
و برمجتي و برمجته00:00:46
So how's the podcast going?00:00:48
I actually stopped it, and I'm now writing a new idea.
أنا أكتب فكرة جديدة00:00:51
I had two podcasts.
كان لديّ بودكاستين.00:00:54
One where I interviewed people
الأوّل هو مقابلة مع النّاس00:00:56
And another which was a solo podcast.
و الثّاني هو بودكاست بمفردي.00:01:00
I enjoyed the solo podcast more
و الثّاني هو بودكاست بمفردي.00:01:01
because I could talk about anything
لأن بإمكاني أن أتكلّم عن أي شيء00:01:03
And I never felt judged or criticized
و لا أشعر بأن أحدهم يحكم عليّ أو ينتقدني.00:01:07
Because people who watch podcasts are high quality,
نوعيّة النّاس الّذين يشاهدون البودكاست00:01:11
mature people
هم أناس واعيون00:01:13
And it’s different than Instagram stories.
و البودكاست مختلف عن ستوري الإنستجرام.00:01:15
True.00:01:18
When you have a guest
عندما تستضيفين أحد، 00:01:20
The podcast is about them.
يكون البودكاست عنهم 00:01:22
Exactly.
نعم.00:01:24
Whereas when you do your own podcast…
نعم.00:01:25
It’s about life and feelings and healing…
بينما بودكاست بمفردك يكون...00:01:27
And your own experience.
حيال الحياة و الشّفاء و المشاعر.00:01:28
Yeah, it’s good.
تجربتك الخاصّة.00:01:30
But I feel that it’s harder that way.
أشعر أن ذلك أصعب.00:01:31
It is harder
أشعر أن ذلك أصعب.00:01:33
But the connection you make with viewers is stronger.
أشعر أن ذلك أصعب.00:01:37
Because they relate to you as you express yourself.00:01:38
Exactly.00:01:40
Do you prefer expressing yourself alone00:01:43
Whether through a podcast or not00:01:45
Without sharing your opinion with people around you?00:01:50
I feel that alone is better.
أفضّل البودكاست بمفردي00:01:54
It’s different, you can't compare the two.
هو مختلف، و غير ممكن أن تقارن بينهما.00:01:58
With people, you learn from them and their experience
مع الآخرين، تتعلّم منهم و من خبرتهم00:02:02
But when you're alone
و عندما تكون بمفردك،.00:02:03
You give your point of view about life and things.
تعطي وجهة نظرك عن الحياة و الأمور.00:02:07
You said that you don’t get judged when you're alone.
قلت أنّهم لا يحكموا عليك عندما تكوني بمفردك.00:02:12
That’s right.
بالضّبط.00:02:15
Of course, because you're alone
هذا صحيح لأنّك بمفردك00:02:17
But there are people who are listening.
لكن ما زال هناك أناس يستمعون لك.00:02:19
They feel you because they're listening to you.
بالضّبط، لكنهم يشعرون بك لأنهم يستمعون إليك00:02:21
They chose to listen to you, they clicked on your podcast
و هم اختاروا أن يستمعوا إليك، هم نقروا على فيديو البودكاست.00:02:24
And it’s not like a story on Instagram which they can skip.
هذا مختلف عن ستوري الإنستجرام الّتي بإمكانهم تخطّيها.00:02:28
They listen carefully to the podcast
عو يستمرّون بالإستماع.00:02:29
And even if it’s 20 or 30 minutes long, they keep listening.
ولى البودكاست، يستمعون لك لمدّة 20 و 30 دقيقة00:02:34
And you do sound podcasts?
و أنت تقومين ببودكاست صوتيّ.00:02:35
Yes, sound podcast.00:02:37
The interview is filmed as video.
صحيح، لكن المقابلات هي فيديو.00:02:41
The other one is just me recording and talking
لكن عندما تكون بمفردك و تسجّل و تتكلّم، .00:02:45
And it feels comfortable.
شعر بإرتياح.00:02:47
Are there comments on the podcast?
هل هناك تعليقات على البودكاست؟00:02:50
No, I get comments on social media.
كلّا، أحصل على تعليقات على مواقع التّواصل الاجتماعي.00:02:53
Oh on social media.00:02:55
Do you put up sound bites on social media?
هل تضيفين مقاطع صوتيّة على مواقع التّواصل الاجتماعي؟00:02:58
As in clips of the sound?
أقصد أجزاء من المسجّل الصّوتي.00:03:00
I don’t.
كلّا.00:03:01
So it’s purely a podcast.
إذاً مجرّد بودكاست.00:03:02
Yeah.00:03:03
My podcast goes on Spotify and Anghami00:03:08
But honestly, I'm not very serious about them and I'm not monitoring.00:03:12
You're not very active on them.00:03:13
I don’t know, is there any engagement?00:03:18
Yes, you can see how many people listened to it.
بإمكانك أن ترى كم شخص استمع للبودكاست.00:03:22
I see that.
أرى ذلك. And people can send you messages on your page.
و بإمكان النّاس أن يراسلوك على صفحتك.00:03:28
They do on social media.
نعم، على مواقع التّواصل الاجتماعي.00:03:29
Yeah, they send me a lot, the impact is big.
يرسلون لي العديد من الرّسائل، هناك تأثير.00:03:32
On Apple podcast?
على بودكاست آبل؟00:03:34
It’s on Apple podcast, Spotify, Anghami.
بودكاست آبل، سبوتيفاي، أنغامي.00:03:36
They write Gusra and they find it.
يكتبون قصرة، و يجدونه.00:03:39
It’s a nice experience.
شيء رائع.00:03:41
I've made more than 150 episodes already.
سبق و سجّلت أكثر من 150 حلقة.00:03:44
Wow, how long are they?00:03:45
30 minutes.00:03:49
How do you choose your topics?00:03:51
Sometimes they're about things I've been through00:03:54
And other times they're about people’s stories.00:03:59
So ideas from something that happened in your life.00:04:02
Yeah, like a daughter’s relationship with her father00:04:05
And sometimes it’s about 00:04:08
the social programming we got when we were young00:04:12
Or about how to be confident
أو كيفيّة تنمية الثّقة بالنّفس00:04:13
And all else about life.
و أمور حياتيّة كثيرة، و كيفيّة التّعلّم من الحياة.00:04:17
Why do you feel the need to talk about them?
لما تشعرين أنّك تريدين التّعبير عنها؟00:04:19
I've experienced many things in my youth
مررت بالعديد من الأمور في صغري00:04:22
So I feel that I'm me with myself
و أشعر أنّني على طبيعتي بمفردي00:04:26
But people can listen to me, and I feel their energy
و النّاس بإمكانهم أن يستمعوا لذلك00:04:31
And I feel connected to them
و أنا أشعر بطاقتهم و بصلة بهم00:04:34
Through these traumas and stories.
من خلال مشاركة صدماتي النّفسيّة و قصصي00:04:38
I feel that I'm not alone
و أشعر أنّني لست وحيدة.00:04:39
And that there are people like me
هناك أشخاص مثلك،00:04:42
Who have experienced the same things I have.
اختبروا ما اختبرته00:04:44
This is huge for me.
و هذا هائل لي.00:04:47
Do you feel that you need this for you
هل تشعرين أنّك بحاجة لذلك من أجل نفسك00:04:49
Or do you feel that you're benefitting others through it?
أو أنّك تفيدين الآخرين من خلاله؟00:04:53
It’s both to be honest, it really is.
كلاهما.00:04:56
I'm getting rid of these feelings
من ناحية، أتخلّص من تلك المشاعر00:05:00
And people can relate to me
و من ناحية أخرى،.00:05:03
And I get to have conversations with people.
النّاس يشعرون بصلة بما أقوله.00:05:06
I spend nights reading their messages
و كذلك أخوض محادثات و أنا أسهر ليلاً00:05:09
As they send me 5 voice notes which are a minute long each
و يرسلون لي مدوّنات صوتيّة، مثلاً 5 منها و كل واحدة دقيقة.00:05:13
And they tell me about themselves.
هذا رائع، و أنا أحبّ هذا الإتّصال بالنّاس00:05:14
It’s really nice, I love this connection with people.
و لطالما أحببت ذلك.00:05:18
I'm very social and I love hearing people’s stories.
أنا اجتماعيّة للغاية و أحبّ الإستماع إلى قصص النّاس.00:05:20
When I was young, I was like a therapist
في صغري، كنت طبيبة نفسيّة للنّاس00:05:24
And whenever there were any problems, they’d come to me.
و كانوا يشاركوني مشاكلهم و أعطيهم نصائح.00:05:28
Like Dr Phil.
مثل دكتور فيل. Yeah.
نعم.00:05:29
I feel that it’s a gift.
أشعر أنّها نعمة.00:05:33
You're over here listening to people
كونك تستمع للنّاس، هذه نعمة00:05:36
And that’s a gift, not everyone can do it.
و ليس الجميع بإمكانهم أن يفعلوا ذلك.00:05:38
Let’s say you're going through tough times.
عندما تمرّ بفترة صعبة00:05:42
You call people who can listen to you
تتّصل بأشخاص بإمكانهم الإستماع لك.00:05:45
And it might be just a couple people00:05:48
Although the rest are all your friends00:05:49
And you love hanging out with them00:05:51
But there’s this one person who’s dedicated to listen to you.00:05:55
He will not judge you.
و لن يحكم عليك00:05:57
It’s a safe place.
بالضّبط، هو مكان آمن لك.00:05:59
He won't judge you and he won't share his personal opinion
لن يحكم عليك، و لن يعطيك رأيه الخاصّ به و الّذي لن يساعدك.00:06:01
which doesn’t help.00:06:05
Exactly. You need someone to just listen to you
تريدين شخصاً...00:06:08
Without giving an opinion which doesn’t apply to you.00:06:13
Exactly.00:06:15
So you discovered that you have this talent00:06:19
Because you didn’t find anyone that listens to you?00:06:25
I did find people that listen to me
عثرت على شخص يستمع لي00:06:27
But it’s nicer when someone who doesn’t know you
لكن أفضّل عندما يستمع لي شخص لا يعرفني.00:06:29
or judge you listens to you.
و لا يحكم عليّ.00:06:31
I mean when you were young.00:06:36
When I was young, I went through some problems00:06:39
Like moving out several times00:06:41
And changing schools 00:06:42
And I was always trying to fit in and to feel accepted.
كنت دائماً أحاول أن أندمج مع الآخرين و أن أشعر بقبولهم.00:06:47
As I grow up, I'm realizing that it’s my journey
كلّما أنضج، كلّما أشعر أن هذه رحلتي، و عليّ مشاركتها.00:06:53
And that I have to tell it.00:06:54
I don’t know, it’s the simple things00:06:56
These small details, not dramatic things
هي التّفاصيل الصّغيرة، ليست أموراً كبيرة فيها دراما.00:07:02
But these small details through which we tell our story.00:07:08
When you were young00:07:13
Did you discover your talent because…00:07:18
You said that they are simple things
أمور بسيطة.00:07:22
But perhaps you weren’t being listened to
ربّما لم يكن أحداً يستمع لك00:07:24
And you said that you wanted to fit in
و قلت أنّك أردت أن تندمجي بالمجموعة00:07:30
And perhaps that’s all because 00:07:32
you didn’t find something to express yourself through00:07:35
Or someone who listened to you and fed your soul.00:07:39
Did you have to find yourself?
ل اضطررت أن تعثري على نفسك؟00:07:42
In our Arabic and Algerian society
في المجتمع العربي و الجزائري00:07:48
I feel that we’re not taken seriously
أشعر أنّنا لا نُأخذ بجدّيّة.00:07:52
when we talk to our parents when we’re young.
عندما نتكلّم مع أهالينا في صغرنا.00:07:54
Your feelings are valid
مشاعرك حقيقيّة00:07:57
But when we were young
لكن في صغرنا،. 00:08:00
No one validated our emotions
لم يعترف أحد بمشاعرنا.00:08:02
And they shouted at us when we cried.00:08:06
When I grew up and became a mom00:08:08
I made sure to tell my son that it’s okay to feel his emotions
عليّ أن أخبره أن لا بأس بأن يشعر بهذه المشاعر.00:08:16
And I don’t tell him to shut up and not to shout.00:08:22
Growing up, I didn’t have boundaries or privacy.
عندما كنت أنضج، لم يكن هناك حدوداً أو خصوصيّة.00:08:26
You sit in your room and close the door
و إذا أغلقت الباب،.00:08:28
And they’d barge in and ask why the door is closed.
يدخلون عليك و يسألوك عمّا تفعل.00:08:32
It’s these small things.
هي هذه الأمور الصّغيرة.00:08:35
It’s that control they try to have.
هذه السّيطرة لديهم.00:08:40
Another thing is that we sometimes measure the size of some problems00:08:43
Based on ourselves, not on the child.00:08:46
It might be a minor problem00:08:48
But it’s big for the child.00:08:49
Exactly, and not just for the child, anyone.00:08:52
Now you’ve learned things and been through experiences00:08:57
Whereas someone of your age hasn’t gone through the same00:09:01
And he might be facing a problem which is simple for you
هو الآن يواجه مشكلة سخيفة بالنّسبة لك.00:09:09
But no, you should hear him out
لكن هذا غلط يجب أن نستمع له..00:09:13
And make him feel comfortable to speak out about it.
و أن نشعره بإرتياح حتّى يتكلّم00:09:19
There’s this viral video on Youtube and Instagram00:09:22
And it’s this small kid who has a mug00:09:26
And he wants to put it on the table.00:09:28
I saw it.00:09:29
He walks one step, panics, and drops the water.
يمشي خطوة صغيرة، يصيبه الهلع، و يرمي المياه00:09:34
His mother’s reaction was beautiful.
و كانت ردّة فعل أمّه رائعة00:09:36
She said “It’s okay, you panicked, it’s fine.”
و تقول له أن لا بأس بما حدث.00:09:39
For him, that small step was a problem
بالنّسبة له، هذه الخطوة الصّغيرة كانت مشكلة 00:09:43
And he panicked and dropped the cup.
و أصابه الهلع و أوقع الكوب.00:09:45
It’s silly for us.00:09:47
But it’s a huge thing.
هذا شيء هائل.00:09:48
It’s a huge thing for him, it’s the biggest problem for him
هو شيء هائل بالنّسبة له، مشكلة كبيرة بنظره.00:09:52
Because he’s just 2 years old.00:09:55
Even we drop things as adults.
حتّى نحن نوقع أشياء00:09:58
We used to be blamed for that.00:09:59
Sometimes we don’t notice the cup and drop it.
و ممكن أن يكون الكوب هناك، لا أراه، فيقع.00:10:01
Imagine a young child dropping it accidentally
تخيّل طفلاً صغيراً يوقعه من دون قصد00:10:03
And then his mom or dad shout at him.
فيقوم أهله بالصّراخ عليه.00:10:06
That’ll be a trauma in his life.
هذا سيكون صدمة نفسيّة كبيرة له.00:10:07
True.00:10:08
It’s a small thing which will stay with him his whole life.00:10:12
Our brain is very tricky.00:10:17
Sometimes, it makes you imagine things that happened to you00:10:21
Which haven’t actually happened except in your head.00:10:24
The memories are partly true
هي ذكريات حقيقيّة،.00:10:26
But your brain continues the story for you
لكن عقلك يكمل القصّة لك.00:10:29
Based on what you felt then.
بناءً على مشاعرك.00:10:32
I don’t know if you’ve felt this before.
لا أدري إذا شعرت بذلك من قبل.00:10:34
You might experience some anxiety or stress
ممكن أن تشعري بقلق أو ضغط نفسي00:10:37
Which dates back to some moment in your life.
و يكون سبب ذلك شيئاً حدث منذ زمان.00:10:44
When you're a teenager, you get a lot of rejection
في سن المراهقة، هناك الكثير من الرّفض00:10:46
From friends and family and such
في سن المراهقة، هناك الكثير من الرّفض00:10:49
And some people enhance these situations in their heads00:10:52
And they implement them in real life00:10:54
And they’ve never actually happened.00:10:55
“My mom hates me, my dad hates me, my mom hit me…”00:10:58
These things perhaps haven’t happened00:10:59
But they took place as emotions00:11:01
And they formed in the brain as memories.
و تكوّنت في عقل الإنسان كذكريات.00:11:04
This is really hard.
هذا صعب جدّاً.00:11:08
Why does the brain enhance the situation?00:11:11
It enhances the situation based on your feelings.00:11:13
Some people deem it as being too sensitive if you cry00:11:16
But it’s just the way you deal with this situation or feelings
هي مجرّد طريقته بالتّعامل مع ذاك الموقف و المشاعر.00:11:23
And every person has a certain level of tolerance.00:11:28
The brain translates these feelings in some way to justify them00:11:35
And it attaches them to the parents or whatever else00:11:40
And it creates a story for them.
و يخلق لها قصّةً00:11:41
We need answers for our questions00:11:44
Even after many years.00:11:46
For some stories we've lived or people we’ve known00:11:52
We don’t have closure
نفقد الإختتام لها.00:11:53
And it stays with us for years, whether 10, 20 or 30 years00:12:01
And we still create scenarios about them.00:12:03
Why didn’t I say that? Why didn’t I react in this way?
"لماذا لم أقوم بردّة فعل مختلفة؟"00:12:07
And that takes up space in our life.00:12:14
That’s why psychiatrists are important.00:12:17
They bring back old memories and show them to you00:12:21
And they might be very small, like that cup of water00:12:25
And we think it’s a trauma
و نظنّ أنّها صدمة نفسيّة00:12:28
But it was big at its time00:12:31
And we never faced it00:12:34
So it keeps on growing.00:12:38
If you’ve been through something 20 years ago00:12:42
You now wish that it’d happen to you today
تتمنّى لو حدث معك ذاك الموقف اليوم00:12:44
As you’d be more capable of handling it.
لأن بإمكانك التّعامل معه بشكل أفضل00:12:46
It was meant to happen at that time
لكن كان معني00:12:51
In order to give you a lesson or to strengthen you.
أن يحصل حينها حتّى يعطيك درساً ما أو حتّى يقوّيك.00:12:58
Generations and generations.00:12:59
Every generation has its perks.00:13:03
Every time I hang out with this generation.00:13:07
“This generation”, as if you're so distant.00:13:09
I'm still part of this generation00:13:11
But I mean our generation who’s had children.00:13:15
We all have this problem00:13:16
And I don’t know if my parents had this problem or not00:13:20
I think they just did what they knew00:13:22
But we all have the same problem00:13:24
Which is we don’t want to have our children go through00:13:26
What we've been through with our parents00:13:29
But we still make mistakes.00:13:30
We still make mistakes and we still relive the same situations.00:13:34
It’s a circle which we need to break.
هي دوّامة و عليك أن تكسرها.00:13:38
Our parents 00:13:40
didn’t want us to live the life they lived with their parents.00:13:45
I guess it was even harder on them.00:13:47
It was harder, and it’s becoming harder00:13:49
And by that I mean new times tend to become harder.00:13:54
Now, we have technology.
الآن هناك التّكنولوجيا00:13:57
You raise your son, and the screen raises him differently.
و بينما أنت تربّي ابنك، الشّاشة تربّيه بطريقة مختلفة00:14:02
You have to supervise that, as there are lots of factors.
و لذا عليك أن تشرف على ذلك.00:14:06
In our days, we used to play outside
في الماضي، كنّا نلعب في الخارج00:14:08
And something could’ve happened, like falling down
و كان هناك مخاطر قد تحصل، مثلاً قد تقع00:14:11
But now, it’s more about mental damage.
بينما الآن الضّرر نفسيّ أكثر.00:14:14
It’s a different kind of hard00:14:15
But we now consider our children’s opinions more.00:14:20
I feel that today’s parents are actually listening to their kids00:14:26
Whereas previously, that wasn’t the case.00:14:27
And now the parents even apologize to their kids.00:14:29
Yes, and they listen and consider their opinions.00:14:32
I remember my grandma hitting my young sister because she wounded her hand.00:14:37
She was a young girl, she cut her hand00:14:39
And my grandma hit her for cutting her hand00:14:41
But she was already crying from the wound!00:14:43
She was just a 3-year old girl.00:14:45
This happened to my brother.
هذا حدث مع أخي.00:14:47
I was with him, and he hit his leg and wounded it00:14:54
And my dad started screaming at him for wounding his leg00:14:58
But that’s just a fear reaction.00:14:59
It is but…00:15:01
It’s a reaction, and every person reacts based on what they’ve been through.00:15:07
But the kid sees it as a mistake.00:15:10
Exactly.
بالضّبط.00:15:11
And he later lives his life accordingly.
و هذا يؤثّر على باقي حياته.00:15:15
I love the saying “It’s not your fault”.
أنا أعشق عبارة "إنّها ليست غلطتك."00:15:19
That saying truly comforts a person.
هذه العبارة تريح الإنسان.00:15:21
It’s not your fault.00:15:23
We’re always blaming ourselves.
نحن دائماً نلوم أنفسنا.00:15:28
We do, we’re too hard on ourselves.00:15:31
And we make it seem as if we are largely at fault.00:15:36
That creates a lack of confidence for people.00:15:38
I think that all of our generation has this problem
أظنّ أن كل جيلنا لديه مشكلة00:15:41
of blaming themselves
لوم النّفس00:15:42
Because they blamed us a lot for things that we didn’t do.
و ذلك لأنّهم لامونا من أجل أمور لم تكن شئننا.00:15:47
If your brother fell down and you were sitting next to him 00:15:51
Then you're the reason because you were there and didn’t stop him.00:15:54
It’s not your responsibility to do it.
هذه ليست مسؤوليّتك.00:15:58
I have 2 children, and I never blame
لديّ ولدين،.00:16:01
And I never put responsibility on my eldest to watch his brother.
و مستحيل أن أسلّم الأكبر سنّاً مسؤوليّة مراقبة أخيه.00:16:06
It’s not his problem.
هذه ليست مشكلته.00:16:09
Even if he made a mistake, it’s not a problem.00:16:11
You can make him understand that he’s done a mistake00:16:13
But don’t make him feel like it’s a disaster.00:16:16
Yeah, this is it.00:16:18
It’s small things, like when the children are playing outside00:16:20
And instead of calling for them, the mother shouts at them for playing outside00:16:24
And she’d be the one who had given them permission.00:16:27
There’s this video I saw about a mother.00:16:31
I think you’ve seen it, a mother crying and talking about motherhood.
أظنّ أنّك شاهدته، امرأة تبكي و تتحدّث عن الأمومة.00:16:37
No one prepares you to be a mom.
ما من أحد يمهّدك حتّى تصبح أمّاً.00:16:40
You're a woman, then you're a mother
من امرأة إلى أمّ،.00:16:41
And then everything changes in your life, everything.
كل شيء يتغيّر في حياتك.00:16:45
Even society and the work environment
في المجتمع و بيئة العمل.00:16:48
Don’t appreciate the struggles which a mother goes through.
ما من أحد يقدّر ما تمرّ به الأمّ.00:16:53
We have to go to work and work like everyone else
على الأمّ أن تعمل مثل الجميع00:16:57
Then we go home and there’s no rest
و ثمّ تذهب إلى منزلها، و لا تستريح00:16:59
As the kids and the husband are waiting.
لأن أولادها و زوجها ينتظرونها. 00:17:03
There’s a lot of pressure on the mother
هناك الكثير من الضّغط على الأمّ00:17:04
And if she doesn’t know how to act and how to deal with her feelings
و إن لم تعرف كيفيّة التّصرف و التّعامل مع مشاعرها،.00:17:10
Then it’s really hard.
صعب جدّاً.00:17:11
They're all depressed.
الأمّهات مكتئبة.00:17:13
When you're depressed, you lay down and take a break
أنت عندما تكتئب، تستريح00:17:19
But she can't, it’s a full-time job, and it’s really hard.
لكن ليس بإمكانها أن تستريح لأنّها أمّ.00:17:23
Even her friends, if they're not mothers themselves
حتّى صديقاتها، إذا لم تكن أمّهات00:17:26
They won't necessarily leave her, but it’s not the same
لن تتخلّين عنها، لكن يختلف الوضع00:17:29
And sometimes they’ll go out and she can't go out with them
و عندما تتسكّعن، لا تتسكّع معهنّ00:17:32
So the connection dwindles
و الإتّصال بينهنّ يختفي00:17:34
And then she needs to find a group of moms.
و يصبح عليها أن تعثر على صديقات أمّهات.00:17:37
Her life changes 180 degrees
تتغيّر الحياة 180 درجة00:17:39
And no one prepares her for this, it’s very hard.
و ما من أحد يمهّدنا لذلك، الأمر صعب.00:17:43
Now I'm understanding my mother more.
أنا الآن أتفهّم أمّي أكثر.00:17:50
They always love the dad more than the mom
أتدري لما يحبّون الأب أكثر من الأمّ؟00:17:52
Because he’s the cool one who’s always smiling
لأنّه ممتعاً و يبتسم دائماً00:17:57
Whereas the mother is always with them…
بينما الأمّ معهم دائماً و...00:17:59
And she’s always stressed.
و هي مضغوطة دائماً.00:18:00
She’s always stressed and hormonal
هي مضغوطة دائماً و هورموناتها تتخبّط.00:18:04
And her body’s changing and everything’s changing00:18:06
And even her mentality and priorities…00:18:08
And she’s lost her life00:18:09
As you said, she went from a place to another without being prepared for it.00:18:14
Before, she was a single girl00:18:16
Who could go out and go see her friends and live her life00:18:21
And now she’s a mom and that’s a full-time job.
و الآن هي والدة ذات دوام يوميّ.00:18:23
Let me tell you about the progression.00:18:25
She's a girl, she wants to grow up and get married00:18:29
And then she wants to have kids.00:18:30
There’s no break where you slow down and look around you
ليس هناك أي استراحة حيث تسترخي و تنظر حواليها.00:18:36
So you keep going.
تستمرّ بتلك الأمور،00:18:38
You get to 30 or 40 years old
و ثمّ تبلغ 30 أو 40 عاماً من السنّ00:18:41
And you start wondering who you are.
و تسأل نفسها "من أنا؟"00:18:44
Sometimes I ask myself this question. Who am I?
أنا أسأل نفسي هذا السّؤال، من أنا؟00:18:48
I'm a mother, I'm a wife
أنا أمّ و زوجة،00:18:49
But who is Amira really?
لكن أنا كأميرة، في الدّاخل، من أنا؟00:18:53
What do I like?
ماذا أحبّ؟00:18:54
Sometimes, you don’t even know what you like
أحياناً لا نعرف ماذا نحبّ00:18:57
Because you’ve adapted to your kids and husband.
لأنّنا تأقلمنا على الحياة مع أولادنا و أزواجنا.00:19:01
You’ve paused your life and you're just solving problems.00:19:04
Do you feel that that’s because of society’s pressure on women00:19:10
To get married early and get kids?00:19:16
They're always asking when.00:19:17
And they don’t give the woman time.00:19:20
A man has time.00:19:21
“Live your life. Don’t get married now, wait. Don’t have kids now”.00:19:25
They always tell him to wait
ائماً يقولون للشّاب أن ينتظر00:19:27
Whereas they tell the woman to rush.
و يقولون للمرأة أن تستعجل.00:19:29
What's next?00:19:31
She gets the first kid, when’s the second one?00:19:32
She gets the second, when’s the girl/boy coming?00:19:35
It’s really hard.
صعب جدّاً00:19:37
Now I understand my mom and my grandma
الآن صرت أتفهّم أمّي و جدّتي00:19:41
And I feel really connected to them.
و أشعر بصلة بهم00:19:44
Now I know why my mom was always angry and stressed.
و صرت أعرف لما أمّي كانت دائماً غاضبة و مضغوطة00:19:49
It was always a hard routine of kids and a set schedule.
و ذلك لأن الروتين كان صعباً طوال الأسبوع مع الأولاد.00:19:55
It’s really hard.
هذا صعب جدّاً.00:19:58
I respect every woman.
أنا أحترم كلّ النّساء.00:20:01
When I see a woman stressed
عندما أراهنّ مضغوطات00:20:03
with her kid on an airplane or in a supermarket
مع أولادهنّ على متن الطّائرة أو في السّوبرماركت00:20:06
I really feel them.
أشعر بهنّ فعلاً.00:20:09
And they get stressed more than you think.00:20:10
When you get on the plane and see the kid crying
نت تنزعج من الولد لأنّه يبكي00:20:14
She’s feeling more stressed about that than you are.00:20:16
I swear, she’s stressed more than you are.
كن هي مزعوجة أكثر منك، أقسم بذاك.00:20:21
And we give her that look to shut him up.
و نحن نعطيها نظرات رديئة حتّى تجعله يصمت.00:20:26
Boombastic side eye.
نظرات جانبيّة.00:20:29
And the baby’s crying because of the air pressure.
و هو مجرّد ولد يبكي لأنه على متن الطّائرة.00:20:31
Yeah, the plane’s air pressure affects his ears.00:20:33
So yeah, it’s hard.00:20:34
You had a hard time to get a baby and it took some time.00:20:44
Do you feel that these hardships changed your feelings towards your kid?00:20:53
Of course.
بالطّبع.00:20:56
Perhaps because you took your time.00:20:58
I didn’t take my time, I got married young, at 22 years old.00:21:03
I was just starting my projects and life and social media.00:21:10
I thank God that I got married based on love.00:21:13
It wasn’t a traditional or forced marriage
لم يجبرني أحد على الزّواج00:21:16
But many girls don’t have this option
لكن العديد من البنات ليس لديهنّ هذا الخيار00:21:19
Especially in the Arab countries
بالأخصّ في الدّول العربيّة.00:21:21
As sometimes marriages are set up.
حيث تُمهَّد الزّواجات.00:21:24
And sometimes it’s pressure.
أو يكون ضغطاً.00:21:26
Yeah, the age pressure.
نعم، ضغط على السّنّ.00:21:28
Sometimes a woman’s choice isn’t logical
أحياناً خيار المرأة لا يكون منطقيّاً00:21:31
And she just wants to get married
لكن كل ما تريده هو أن تتزوّج00:21:33
As she fears that she will regret it later if she didn’t marry young.
لأنّها تخاف أن تندم فيما بعد إن لم تتزوّج حينها.00:21:41
Many women have the problem I have
العديد من النّساء لديها نفس المشاكل الّتي عانيت منها00:21:44
Like ovarian cysts and hormonal imbalances
و ذلك تكيّس في المبايض و تخبّطات في الهرمونات00:21:47
But no one tells you.
لكن ما من أحد يخبرنا عن ذلك.00:21:51
No one tells you that it might happen?00:21:53
We don’t know enough about our bodies.00:21:56
As women, we don’t have information about our bodies and health.00:22:06
To this day, I'm still learning about things
ما زلت أتعلّم حتّى اليوم00:22:10
And I keep researching and asking doctors
و أقوم بأبحاث و أسأل أطبّاء.00:22:12
But many girls have no idea.00:22:14
They just know that there’s a period and there’s ovulation.00:22:17
They don’t know about the complications in their body.00:22:21
They don’t know why they're not losing weight even though they're dieting 00:22:24
And they don’t know why they have…00:22:27
A double chin?00:22:28
Not that, I mean the thyroid.00:22:34
They don’t know that it’s all hormones and stress.
لا تعرفن.00:22:40
Why is that?00:22:42
There’s no awareness.00:22:43
Is it because the parents don’t teach their kids?00:22:44
Even the parents don’t know.00:22:47
The teenage years are a human’s hardest age.00:22:50
We go through changes, whether woman or man00:22:52
Our bodies and thinking change.00:22:55
You feel that you're growing up00:23:01
Yet it feels as if your family never were teenagers00:23:04
And they pressure you more and society pressures you more00:23:06
And they keep questioning what you're doing and why you're changing00:23:11
And if there wasn’t support from the family00:23:13
Then the person becomes enclosed.00:23:16
That’s why many people change during puberty.00:23:18
As a kid, they're hyperactive and happy
كطفل، يكون نشاطه زائداً و يكون فرحاً.00:23:21
And then after puberty, they become a different person00:23:24
Because they didn’t get any support during their teenage years.00:23:28
I will fail as a mom if I wasn’t there for my son in that period
أعتبر أنّني فشلت كأمّ إن لم أكن أدعم ابني في تلك الفترة00:23:34
And if I didn’t tell him that it’s okay that he’s changing
و إذا لم أخبره أن لا بأس بكونه يتغيّر00:23:37
And that his voice and body are changing
و صوته يتغيّر و جسمه يتغيّر00:23:40
And that it’s all normal, and I offer a listening ear if he wants it.
أن ذلك عادي، و أفتح له مجالاً ليتكلّم عن ذلك.00:23:43
I'm not going to say “stop doing this and stop being like that”.
لن أقول له "لا تفعل ذلك و لا تكون كذلك..."00:23:47
I wish.
أتمنّى.00:23:48
Hopefully.00:23:49
Did you try to find yourself in different areas 00:23:55
Since you didn’t know what you want in life?00:23:59
To this day, I still don’t know.
بالطّبع، و حتّى اليوم ما زلت لا أدري.00:24:03
I often have this debate with myself
أنا أناقش نفسي دائماً بخصوص ذلك.00:24:07
And I ask myself “Amira, what's next? What do you want?
"أميرا، ما التّالي؟ ماذا تريدين؟00:24:10
“Do you want to stay or do you want to go?”
"هل تريدين أن تبقي أو أن تغادري؟" لا أدري.00:24:13
We talked earlier that when you have kids, it’s hard
تكلّمنا في الكواليس و قلنا أن عندما يكون لديك أولاد يصبح الأمر أصعب00:24:19
Because you always put them first.
لأن قرارتك مرتبطة بهم.00:24:21
If I was alone, I'd be carrying a backpack
إذا كنت وحيدة، لكنت حملت حقيبةً00:24:25
And I'd be traveling and visiting the world
و سافرت و زرت الدّنيا00:24:28
But with my kids, I can't do that.
لكن مع أولادي، هذا غير ممكن00:24:30
I have to settle and have a routine.
لأن عليّ أن أستقرّ و أن يكون لديّ روتين.00:24:32
Amira, the luckiest people are the ones who have self-awareness
أميرا، أكثر أناس محظوظين هم الّذين لديهم وعي عن الذّات00:24:38
And who’ve known what they want and what they like from a young age00:24:42
And who were given a chance to express their opinions00:24:44
And to say “I love this, I don’t love that, I know what I want.”00:24:48
If that was there from a young age00:24:52
Then it makes life 100% easier in the future00:24:58
And if it wasn’t there, it might come with experience
يأتي مع الخبرة00:25:01
But you have to pay a big price for it.
لكن تدفعين ثمنه بعمرك.00:25:07
You might need 20 years of experience
قد تحتاجين 20 سنة من الخبرة00:25:10
Just to know what you want
حتّى تكتشفي ما تريدين.00:25:12
And I'm just talking about simple things00:25:14
Like who you want as a partner00:25:16
And where you want to live00:25:19
And what style you like
و ما أسلوبك و ما المسيرة الّتي تريديها.00:25:20
And which career you want to have.00:25:24
It all goes back to whether you consider this child’s opinion.00:25:33
If he said “I don’t like this red t-shirt, I don’t want to wear it.”00:25:38
It’s fine, what's the problem? Why force him to wear it?
ما من مشكلة.00:25:43
He doesn’t like it, and he said so as he was expressing his opinion.00:25:47
It might look good from our adult perspective00:25:52
But from his perspective, he doesn’t like it.00:25:55
Giving the child a chance to express his opinion helps him in his life00:25:59
And it simplifies a lot of things for him.00:26:02
You can't imagine how hard it is.00:26:07
It’s hard work, and I've put a lot of effort in it
تطلّبت جهداً.00:26:12
Or else it wouldn’t be there, because our upbringing didn’t help.00:26:16
The Arab society is like that.00:26:17
It’s programming, you're programming your child that this looks good and this doesn’t.00:26:23
And he then needs other people’s opinions.00:26:25
Exactly.00:26:26
He no longer has an opinion00:26:27
And he who doesn’t have an opinion seeks for other people’s opinions.00:26:32
Exactly. Even the word “You're beautiful”00:26:34
When a mom and dad say that00:26:37
Especially the dad telling that to his daughter
بالأخصّ عندما الأب يقول ذلك لإبنته00:26:39
And the mom telling that to her son
و عندما الأمّ تقول ذلك لإبنها00:26:42
It’s this connection
هنا الإرتباط.00:26:44
And they say “you're beautiful, you're so handsome”
تقول لهم "أنت وسيم جدّاً، أنت جميل جدّاً"00:26:49
That makes him confident.
و هذا يخلق به ثقة بالنّفس.00:26:52
Even telling him that he’s smart makes him so confident.
قل له "أنت ذكي جدّاً"00:26:57
As Arabs, we don’t express our love.00:27:01
We don’t hug each other, we’re always in a rush.
نحن مستعجلون دائماً.00:27:04
Even when you hug your mom, she asks “Why are you hugging me?00:27:09
“Do you need anything?”00:27:10
There’s something we need behind it.00:27:11
We attach that to love00:27:15
And that’s why our relationships are damaged.00:27:17
In our friendships, there’s always something to expect.
في صداقاتنا، دائماً هناك شيء نتوقّعه من الآخر.00:27:20
If someone treated you nicely00:27:22
You doubt his intentions.00:27:27
That’s all programming And the first people to program a human are the mom and dad.00:27:31
You're the person who needs to be the first support00:27:35
But sometimes, we’re not ready to be parents.
أحياناً نحن لسنا جاهزين لنكون أهل.00:27:39
When you tell your son that he’s beautiful or smart or hard working00:27:47
It’s coming to him from that which he considers an idol.
من القدوة.00:27:53
He sees you as the biggest aspect of his life00:27:58
And if he didn’t get that from you, he won't find it elsewhere.00:28:02
Unfortunately, he will need validation every time.
للأسف، سوف يصبح دائماً متعطّشاً لقبول النّاس.00:28:07
Every time he goes out, he’ll ask if he looks good.
كل مرّة يلبس ثياباً، سيسأل إذا كان جميلاً00:28:08
He’ll always need people to tell him “yeah, you're nice”
و سوف يحتاج دائماً إلى النّاس ليقولون له أنّه جميلاً.00:28:11
And even if everyone said that, he’ll still have doubts.
و حتّى لو الجميع قال أنّه جميلاً، سوف يبقى يشكّك بنفسه.00:28:16
It’s small things, but they make a big difference.
هي أمور بسيطة، لكنها تخلق فرقاً.00:28:19
I'm all about the simple things
أنا أركّز على الأمور الصّغيرة00:28:22
Because I know that a marathon requires a first step.
لأنّني أعرف أن السّباق الطّويل يبدأ بأوّل خطوة.00:28:29
We seek validation and we try to please others to get…acceptance?
هذا يجعلنا نسعى وراء القبول و وراء إرضاء الآخرين.00:28:41
Yes, acceptance.00:28:42
Raising kids is hard.00:28:44
I see raising a kid as the biggest achievement in this life.00:28:52
Tell me how you worked on yourself.00:28:54
Did you start by figuring out the problem?00:29:00
Figuring out the problem? I'm still figuring it out.00:29:03
You still are?00:29:04
Yes to be honest.
للصّراحة، ما زلت أشخّصها.00:29:07
That goes back to reference Amira.
هذا يعود للمراجع في حياتنا أميرة.00:29:09
To know what your problem is
حتّى نكتشف مشكلتنا،.00:29:11
You need a reference, something to compare yourself with.
نحن بحاجة لمرجع و شيئاً لنقارن به.00:29:15
Not just comparison.
ليس مجرّد مرجعاً.00:29:16
Sometimes you feel like you’ve found yourself
أحياناً نقول "وجدت نفسي"00:29:19
And then you get this doubt and break down
و ثمّ تأتيك الشّكوك و الإنهيارات00:29:24
And you realize that it wasn’t that
و تكتشف أنّك لم تجد نفسك.00:29:26
It was just a phase, so let’s keep searching.
و تستمرّ بالبحث.00:29:30
I think that you will keep searching until you die
أظنّ أنّنا سوف نستمرّ بالبحث حتّى نموت00:29:33
And you will keep trying to find yourself to fit in and all that.
نجتهد دائماً حتّى نعثر على أنفسنا و حتّى يتمّ قبولنا.00:29:40
It’s a wrestle.
هو صراع.00:29:41
True.00:29:42
Even if you went to a 60 year old
إذا ذهبت عند شخصاً عمره 60 سنة"00:29:44
And you asked them to tell you their biggest life lesson
و سألته "ما هو أكبر درس تعلّمته؟"00:29:49
Each person will give you a different lesson
كل شخص سوف يعطيك جواباً مختلفاً.00:29:51
As there’s no one secret to life.
ليس هناك سرّاً لكيفيّة عيش الحياة.00:29:53
Just do you.
عش كما تريد.00:29:55
Hikmat, my dream is for there to not be protocols.
حكمت، حلمي هو ألّا يكون هناك بروتوكولات.00:30:03
If I wanted to say something, I say it.
و إذا أردت أن أقول شيئاً، أقوله مباشرةً.00:30:05
When I want to say something, like when sending a text
لما أقلق بما سوف يفكّر الشّخص عندما أرسل رسالةً نصّيةً؟00:30:08
Why do we worry about what they're thinking?
للماذا نقلق؟00:30:12
Judgement.
خوف من أن يُحكم علينا.00:30:14
For me, that’s something I'm working on.
بالنّسبة لي، هذا شيء أعمل عليه.00:30:17
If I have a problem with someone, I tell them
إذا لديّ شعور تجاه أحد، أخبره00:30:24
Because if I don’t, I become cold and we lose connection.
لأن إذا لم أقوله، أصبح باردةً مع هذا الشّخص، و نفقد تواصلنا.00:30:30
You know?00:30:32
When I have a feeling or a doubt, I leave.
عندما لدي شعور أو شكّ معيّن، أترك الشّخص.00:30:37
This is my huge problem.00:30:39
Amira, when it comes to people who are still figuring themselves out00:30:47
Do they give others a hard time?00:30:48
Yeah, big time.00:30:52
When a person is healing or figuring himself out
عندما يحاول الشّخص أن يشفى أو يكتشف نفسه00:30:59
He stays away from people and he prefers to be alone
تراه بعيداً عن النّاس.00:31:03
And he cancels outings and gives excuses
و يجلس بنفسه و يلغي المشاريع و يعطي أعذاراً00:31:05
As if he doesn’t want to burden people.
و كأنّه لا يريد أن يعذّب النّاس معه.00:31:12
He doesn’t want to talk.
لا يريد أن يتكلّم.00:31:17
How’s your husband with that?00:31:23
Did he accept that? Does he help you?00:31:26
Perhaps you both have the same problem and are helping each other out.00:31:28
Yeah, that’s it.00:31:32
He’s so supportive, and I'm so supportive, thank God
هو يدعمني كثيراً و أنا أدعمه كثيراً00:31:35
And we are facing the same thing.
و كلانا نواجه نفس المشكلة.00:31:39
He’d be feeling a certain way, and I say “me too”.
يقول أنّه ليس بخير، و أقول له أنّني أشعر بنفس الشّيء00:31:42
We have this weight in our hearts.
و نشعر بهذا الضّغط على القلب.00:31:44
It’s nice when a person is honest with himself and with his partner00:31:52
And he shares the problem.00:31:54
That’s the most important thing.
أهمّ شيء هو أن نتكلّم.00:31:57
We talk. When there is something wrong, we talk.
عندما يكون هناك خطب ما، نتكلّم.00:32:01
We didn’t learn this directly
لم نتعلّم ذلك مباشرةً00:32:03
It’s not like we got married and started sharing immediately.00:32:06
The first year of marriage was hard.00:32:09
It was like a tornado at home00:32:13
And a clash betweem his ideas and mine
ا بين أفكاري و أفكاره00:32:15
And his programing and mine
و برمجتي و برمجته00:32:17
And our mentalities are very different.
و طريق تفكيرنا مختلفة جدّاً.00:32:19
Getting married is different.
الزّواج شيء آخر.00:32:21
A relationship is something, and a marriage is something else completely.
الصّحبة شيء، و الزّواج شيء مختلف كلّيّاً.00:32:25
We got to a point where we had to fix things and share our true selves00:32:35
Because we all wear masks.00:32:38
I want to be perfect for him00:32:40
And he wants to be the perfect guy for me00:32:42
And so we wear these masks to appear perfect00:32:49
But you get tired of that.00:32:51
That’s why many people get divorced and stop loving each other00:32:55
Because they're tired of pretending like they're someone they're not.00:33:01
Living your truth is the most wonderful thing.00:33:04
And perhaps we’re scared of talking about it.00:33:06
This fear makes you lose people.00:33:10
You shouldn’t fear, be courageous.00:33:14
If you had someone whom you doubted
إذا هناك شخص لا تدري00:33:15
whether they should be in your life or not
إذا يجب أن يبقى في حياتك00:33:19
Then you need to face them.
عليك أن تواجهه.00:33:20
If you told him your truth and he left, so long00:33:24
Whereas if he stayed, it’s a relief00:33:26
And you realize that this person is meant to stay.00:33:30
For some people, we grow and they fall out of our lives00:33:34
Just like the leaves of a tree.00:33:36
Some people stay and some people leave, this is life
.هذه هي الحياة.00:33:39
It could even be a husband or a relative like a sister or brother.00:33:44
We know that family’s blood00:33:45
But sometimes your family is toxic00:33:47
And sometimes you need to talk and express the traumas.00:33:52
Sometimes aunts may hit you at some point when you're young00:33:57
And that stays with you your whole life00:34:00
And you hate them and aren’t comfortable around them.
و تكرههم أو تشعر بعدم ارتياح بوجودهم00:34:04
They forget about it.
بينما هم نسوا الموضوع00:34:07
My husband tells me about this.00:34:09
He’s been through a lot when he was young00:34:11
As he loved to play football00:34:13
And many people ripped apart his ball in the street.00:34:19
He tells me that we should never harass a kid00:34:23
And by that, I mean doing something bad to them or yelling at them
و هذا يعني ألّا نسوء بمعاملتهم أو نصرخ عليهم00:34:29
Because they remember.
لأنّهم يتذكّرون ذلك.00:34:30
They’ll always remember this person who stopped them from playing00:34:34
Or who shouted at them.00:34:37
Because that small thing is big for him.00:34:40
Yeah, you never know when he’s recording.00:34:41
You can never tell when the red light is on.
لا تدري متى يضيء الضّوء الأحمر و يسجّل00:34:47
As you said, you never know how bad the older person is00:34:55
As being older doesn’t always mean better.00:34:57
Perhaps he’s been through some trauma, and now he…
ربّما مرّ بصدمة نفسيّة معيّنة و...00:35:00
He puts people through his trauma.
و أصبح يعيّش النّاس هذه الصّدمة.00:35:02
And especially on kids.00:35:03
He repeats what he’s been through on this kid00:35:06
And he tells him not to do something which he has been told not to do himself.00:35:11
90% of things we’d like to do to others have been done to us.00:35:16
Exactly, and herein comes the biggest advice I can give00:35:21
And that is be gentle with kids.
كونوا لطفاء مع الأولاد00:35:23
You never know how you could create a trauma for a kid.
لأنّك ممكن أن تسبّب صدمة نفسيّة لهذا الولد عندما يكبر00:35:29
A kid might have a trauma from his neighbor.
و ممكن أن يكون الجار قد سبّب صدمة له.00:35:31
We all have this one person whom we remember had hurt us
دائماً هناك شخص نتذكّر أنّه سبّب لنا أذى00:35:35
And perhaps he didn’t mean it, but it stayed with us.
و لربّما لم يقصد ذلك، لكن بقي ذلك.00:35:39
It’s a bad memory.
ذكرى عاطلة في عقلنا.00:35:45
You’ve said that you face problems from women friends00:35:51
More than you face problems from male friends.00:35:55
As girls?00:35:56
Yeah. Yes.00:35:57
And you’ve said that a woman is a woman’s enemy.00:35:59
I don’t really agree.00:36:01
A woman isn’t a woman’s enemy, we should support each other00:36:04
But we’ve been programmed with this concept 00:36:05
That women are each other’s enemies00:36:08
But I'm trying to change that concept.
أنا أحاول أن أغيّر ذلك.00:36:10
There are many things I'm doing in order to change that concept.00:36:14
What made you think that that exists?00:36:18
And how are you trying to change it?00:36:20
It exists, and it’s actually a saying00:36:23
And I don’t know if it’s said in all Arab countries00:36:24
But we often say that women are women’s enemies.00:36:27
A man can find support
الرّجال يدعمون بعضهم البعض.00:36:32
And there’s no jealousy between you.00:36:35
There’s work and interests.00:36:36
Yes, it’s not about who’s more beautiful00:36:38
And who’s wearing the nicer shirt.00:36:40
There’s none of that, unless they were childish.00:36:45
For women, there’s a lot of that.00:36:47
And who caused that?00:36:49
Men. Exactly.00:36:51
I beat you to it.00:36:53
A man makes women jealous of each other00:36:55
Because he’s always comparing them.00:36:57
He creates competition.00:36:58
A woman would never go to his husband and compare him with another guy.00:37:02
Have you ever seen a woman who tells her man “Your friend looks better than you”?00:37:06
But the man dares to say that to a woman.00:37:09
He doesn’t say it directly…00:37:11
Sometimes he does.00:37:13
He says “did you see how pretty her hair was?”00:37:17
And that creates jealousy in a woman00:37:21
Because that’s our nature00:37:23
And we feel that she can take our man.00:37:26
I don’t think that it’s your nature.00:37:27
We’re programmed this way.00:37:29
I think that it’s a man’s control over a woman00:37:33
Or even the parents’ control, whether it’s the mom or dad00:37:38
As they're always pressuring her to find a husband.00:37:41
This limitation on a woman’s life.
هناك حدوديّة على حياة المرأة.00:37:46
It’s all about the man.
الرّجل.00:37:48
The chances of success in marriage or in finding her dream guy are limited
لذا فرص النّجاح في الزّواج و في العثور على شريك أحلامها ضئيلة جدّاً.00:37:59
And it’s not limited in the number of guys00:38:00
But rather in the traits you want in a man.00:38:03
Your actions are very precise and hard to take.00:38:07
You have to be of a certain age and a certain appearance00:38:13
And you need certain traits and a certain education 00:38:15
And all these pressures which we put on a woman don’t apply to men.00:38:18
There’s more competition00:38:22
And if a girl was luckier, then she’s a competitor00:38:27
Whereas men don’t have that.00:38:31
The requirements asked of a man are way less.00:38:34
Just be a man.00:38:36
Just be a man and you’ll get married.00:38:41
Even if you make mistakes, it’s okay.00:38:47
Nothing shames a man.00:38:48
Exactly.00:38:50
As they say, only women are shamed, not men.00:38:52
Yes, they don’t shame men.00:38:53
We consider a young man going out as being fine.00:39:03
He’ll party and come back.00:39:04
It’s fine.
ما من مشكلة.00:39:05
And he’ll be with girls and it’s okay.00:39:06
For a girl it’s different00:39:08
And that’s a factor in the jealousy between women.00:39:17
What do you think the solution is?00:39:20
Thankfully, there is support between women.
ما زال هناك دعم ما بين النّساء.00:39:23
There is a lot of support, and I'm seeing it
هناك دعم كبير، و أنا أرى ذلك.00:39:28
And women are supporting each other’s rights.00:39:32
There still are some girls who are jealous of each other00:39:35
But that’s normal.00:39:37
Don’t you think the solution is…00:39:39
Perhaps jealousy is a result, not the problem.00:39:43
I don’t think that women are fighting women.00:39:45
The jealousy is the result of competition.00:39:51
I think that’ll improve as we empower the woman more and more
يتحسّن ذلك كلّما أعطينا قوّة للمرأة.00:39:57
And as we listen to her opinion00:40:00
And as she gets educated and cultivated00:40:04
And as she gets more freedom regarding who she wants to marry00:40:09
And regarding whether she wants to get married at all.00:40:10
We are getting there hopefully.
نحن نصل إلى تلك المرحلة إن شاء لله.00:40:14
When it comes to having options and empowering women
بخصوص منح الخيار و القوّة للمرأة00:40:17
Many men think that empowering women
بعض الرّجال يظنّون أن إن أعطوا المرأة قوّة00:40:22
Would lead to women competing with men
إذاً سوف تصبح منافسة للرّجل00:40:25
But women never competed with men, it’s impossible
لكن مستحيل أن تتنافس المرأة مع الرّجل00:40:27
Whether physically or mentally.
إن كان من النّاحية البدنيّة أو العقليّة00:40:31
Hold on a minute, I don’t agree.00:40:35
Why can't women compete with men?00:40:37
Because there shouldn’t be a competition.00:40:39
Yeah, but…00:40:40
It’s not natural for women to compete with men.00:40:42
Why not…00:40:44
We should support each other.
يجب أن ندعم بعضنا البعض.00:40:46
There’s no life with only men or only women.
ما من حياة من دون رجال أو من دون نساء00:40:50
We need both.
و نحن بحاجة للإثنين.00:40:51
If we’re competing in our fields…00:40:54
That’s normal, it’s good competition when it comes to work00:40:58
But competing on at life is not healthy00:41:01
And that ruins the balance.
هذا ليس صحّياً و يزعزع التّوازن.00:41:02
I believe in energy, okay?
أنا أؤمن بالطّاقة.00:41:06
Us women have our own physical and spiritual traits00:41:13
And so do men.00:41:14
If a man didn’t live in his environment
إذا الرّجل لم يعيش في بيئته00:41:17
He’d be in his feminine side energetically
سوف يصبح أنوثي على صعيد الطّاقة00:41:21
And the woman would be in her masculine side as well
و المرأة تصبح ذكوريّة على صعيد الطّاقة.00:41:25
And there would be lots of illnesses00:41:27
And the hormones…00:41:30
Turn your mic a bit. A woman’s hormones cause her illnesses which she isn’t aware of.00:41:38
If you want a happy life, you need a happy wife.
يقولون أن زوجة سعيدة تخلق حياة سعيدة.00:41:42
And if you want that, you need to be a provider
إذا أردت حياة جميلة، يجب أن تؤمّن00:41:46
And not just financially, you also need to provide love and security
و ليس فقط مادّياً، بل على صعيد الحبّ و الأمان.00:41:51
And when a woman feels this, she’ll give you
عندما تشعر المرأة بذلك، تعطيك و تضاعف00:41:54
And she’ll multiply it00:41:56
But when a woman lives in fear…
بينما إذا كانت المرأة تعيش بالخوف...00:41:58
It’s not a natural emotion for a woman00:41:59
Who lives with a supportive husband.00:42:06
A man can live in fear and handle it.
بينما الرّجل بإستطاعته أن يتحمّل الخوف.00:42:09
You have this power to handle fear00:42:11
And even when you're scared, you do it.
حتّى و لو كنت خائفاً، بإمكانك الإستمرار.00:42:14
When a woman is afraid
عندما تخاف المرأة،00:42:15
Her hair falls off and her skin suffers
يتساقط شعرها و تتأذّى بشرتها00:42:17
As she’s a ball of emotions and hormones.
لأن المرأة هي كتلة من المشاعر و الهرمونات.00:42:23
I do believe that each person has…
أنا أؤمن أن كل جنس.00:42:27
Not a role, but a part to play.
لديه دوراً ليلعبه.00:42:32
I don’t know if you get it.
لا أدري إذا فهمتني.00:42:33
I do get it
فهمتك.00:42:34
But perhaps this opinion of yours towards women may change with time00:42:43
Of course.00:42:44
And maybe you’ll feel that a woman is not weak.
هي ليست ضعيفة.00:42:45
She’s not weak.00:42:46
And that there isn’t much difference between woman and man.00:42:49
There is a difference, but it’s not big.00:42:50
Saying that we each have certain mental abilities00:42:55
That’s not right.00:42:57
That’s not what I'm saying.00:42:58
I'm talking about energy.
أنا أتكلّم عن الطّاقة.00:43:01
Perhaps women are more emotional than logical.00:43:09
Even women’s stories and problems are different than men’s.00:43:14
There are things a woman suffers from00:43:16
Which a man considers stupid.
و الرّجل يعتبرها أموراً سخيفة.00:43:19
That depends on her environment and the level of her problems there.00:43:23
If a man cried, there are reasons00:43:25
Whereas a woman might cry for no reason00:43:27
Just because she’s sensitive and she felt something.00:43:30
She might cry because of fear or happiness.00:43:33
There are many factors which make a woman cry00:43:38
And that doesn’t mean that she’s sad or depressed.
هذا لا يعني أنّها حزينة أو مكتئبة.00:43:40
Sometimes you just cry, you need a cry.
أحياناً هي بحاجة لأن تبكي،.00:43:42
It might be hormones or the period.
ربّما بسبب الهرمونات أو الدّورة الشّهريّة.00:43:44
Herein, you can see that we’re different.
هنا، ترى أنّنا مختلفين.00:43:47
We need support, hugs, someone to listen and understand.
نحن بحاجة لدعم، لعناق، لشخص يستمع لنا و يتفهّمنا.00:43:52
For you, that might be superficial
حتّى و لو تشعر أن ذلك شيء سطحي00:43:55
But be there for her and listen to her.
كن بجانبها و استمع لها.00:43:58
Be invested in what she tells you
كن متنبّه و تأثّر بما تقوله.00:44:03
And sometimes you just have to fake it to make her happy.
أحياناً عليك أن تتصنّع حتّى تسعدها.00:44:05
I don’t agree on this.
أنا لا أوافق على ذلك.00:44:06
I mean sometimes you understand her and sometimes you don’t
أحياناً تفهمها، و أحياناً لا تفهمها.00:44:11
But it’s okay, and I don’t mean for huge problems00:44:16
I mean more trivial things that happen to her.00:44:17
What you're saying is right, but it depends on which society.00:44:21
In another society, a woman might be able to handle her emotions
هي قادرة أن تتعامل مع مشاعرها 00:44:27
And she has all the power
و لديها قوّة 00:44:30
and can run a huge company and do whatever
و بإمكانها أن تدير شركة كبيرة00:44:34
And she doesn’t need those emotions.
و هي ليست بحاجة لهذه المشاعر.00:44:37
We need emotions in our lives.
نحن بحاجة لمشاعر في حياتنا.00:44:39
You need emotions, we all need emotions.
أنت و كلّنا بحاجة لمشاعر.00:44:41
We have to experience emotions
يجب أن نعيش المشاعر00:44:43
And we shouldn’t choose to live some emotions and reject others
و لا يجوز أن نعيش بعض المشاعر و نرفض غيرها00:44:48
Because they’ll come back to you at another time in your life.
لأنّها سوف تعود لنا في وقت ما.00:44:52
The feelings which I didn’t live through in 2010
المشاعر الّتي تجاهلتها عام 201000:44:54
are coming back now
تعود لي الآن00:44:55
And they're saying “you have to feel me”.
و تطلب منّي أن أشعر بها.00:44:58
It’s a process, and I'm trying to figure it out.
هذه عمليّة طويلة و أنا أحاول أن أفهم ذلك.00:45:06
I want to ask you about the Hijab as you wear one00:45:11
And I'm talking from a societal standpoint, not religious.00:45:15
Let’s talk about the hardships a woman goes through00:45:18
Like a woman like you who’s on social media00:45:23
You're educated and you have a podcast00:45:26
And you have media appearances, you're a public figure.00:45:33
What can you say for girls who wear Hijabs?00:45:38
Societally speaking, to be very honest00:45:40
A woman is free to cover up or not.00:45:51
She should wear what makes her comfortable.
و يجب أن ترتدي ما يريحها.00:45:52
We have this culture of forcing
في مجتمعنا، هناك جبر00:45:54
And some women wear Hijabs because they were forced to
و العديد من البنات يرتدين الحجاب لأنّهن انجبرن.00:46:02
Yet they didn’t choose to.
لم تخترن ذلك.00:46:04
You said that we all have the choice to do something00:46:09
Even when it comes to religion.00:46:11
If you're comfortable doing it, do it00:46:13
And if you're not, don’t. 00:46:15
Don’t force a woman to wear something if she doesn’t want to
لا تجبروا امرأة أن ترتدي شيئاً ليست مقتنعة به00:46:23
We’re seeing many girls being forced 00:46:24
to remove their hijabs for some job.
خلع الحجاب حتّى تعمل في وظيفة ما00:46:29
to remove their hijabs for some job.00:46:34
We see it a lot in France and Europe00:46:36
And there’s a lot of racism towards women wearing hijabs.00:46:41
For me, I respect a woman’s choice to wear it or remove it.
أنا أحترم المرأة مهما قرّرت أن تلبسه أو تخلعه.00:46:47
I don’t care about a person’s appearance, truly.00:46:51
Some people will criticize me for this00:46:54
But I don’t meddle in this stuff00:46:57
And I don’t care if you wear a hijab or you don’t
لا أكترث إن كنت ترتدي حجاباً أو لا.00:47:03
But you should always be comfortable with what you're doing.00:47:06
What do you think about the diversity we now have on social media
ما رأيك بالتّنوّع الّذي يحصل على مواقع التّواصل الاجتماعي و الإعلانات؟00:47:14
And in advertisements?00:47:15
I love it.
أعشق ذلك.00:47:17
It’s happening.
هذا يحدث.00:47:20
It’s changing.00:47:21
Our outlook on beauty is changing.00:47:26
Beauty is becoming more about the spirit and personality00:47:29
And the culture you come from.
و الحضارة الّتي تأتي منها.00:47:32
I'm sure that you’ve experienced this.00:47:35
If a girl is beautiful00:47:37
But her manners and behavior are bad00:47:42
Then you’ll deem her the ugliest woman on earth.
سوف تشعر أنّها أبشع امرأة على وجه الأرض.00:47:45
Yet if she’s average looking and she smiles a lot and is nice00:47:49
Then you deem her the most beautiful woman.00:47:51
And then I’d see the way she acts00:47:55
And she’s inhumane.
أشعر أنّها ليس إنساناً00:47:59
She might treat the people who wash her car in a bad way
بطريقة تعاملها مع شخص يغسل سيّارة أو غيره.00:48:11
And then I feel that she’s the ugliest woman, or person in general.
أشعر أنّها أبشع امرأة، أبشع شخص.00:48:19
And the opposite applies.00:48:20
Exactly.00:48:22
Exactly.00:48:23
For many people we meet, we don’t see them as too beautiful00:48:25
But as we spend time with them and see how they are00:48:28
If they're loving, we start seeing them as very beautiful.00:48:32
The idea of saying “she’s more beautiful” or “he’s more beautiful”.00:48:36
Comparison. Yes, we've set standards, and they’ve been there for a long time00:48:42
But what are they based on?00:48:45
These are standards 00:48:49
which have been set for us by magazines and TV…00:48:53
But the standards are changing.
لكن هذه المعايير تتغيّر Exactly.00:48:54
There was a certain standard for…00:48:56
The barbie.00:48:57
Exactly.00:48:58
Even the barbie standards have changed00:49:00
And there are different types now.00:49:02
We always compared and had a reference.
دائماً لدينا معيار نقارن به.00:49:05
Let me give you an analogy between humans and animals.00:49:11
We don’t have this kind of racism towards dogs.
ليس لدينا أي عنصريّة تجاه الكلاب.00:49:16
All dogs are beautiful.
كل الكلاب جميلون.00:49:17
Exactly, even though some of them look weird
صح، و بعضهم أشكالهم غريبة، لكن ليس هناك معياراً00:49:20
But we've removed the standard.00:49:22
If you take this as a lesson, since we see all animals as beautiful00:49:27
And we see elephants as beautiful, even though they're huge00:49:30
And we don’t judge giraffes.00:49:33
Everything has a beauty to it.00:49:35
That goes back to us.00:49:36
We don’t have racism towards animals.00:49:39
But we do towards humans. Exactly, because we’ve set a standard
لأنّنا خلقنا معياراً00:49:42
And we’re building upon this standard.
خلقنا معياراً، و الآن نبني عليه.00:49:45
If we removed this standard, we’d see all people as beautiful
إذا أزلنا هذا المعيار، نرى أن الجميع جميلين00:49:49
And the ugly ones would be ugly on the inside
و الشّنيعون يكونوا شنيعين من الدّاخل00:49:52
And in the way they treat others.
و بطريقة معاملتهم للنّاس.00:49:55
Unfortunately, even though we’re in 2023
للأسف، نحن في عام 202300:49:58
There are still very racist people.
و ما زال الكثير من النّاس عنصريّين00:50:01
Even though they're educated and aware and they travel
مع العلم أنّهم دارسين و واعيين و يسافروا 00:50:08
But they're still racist00:50:10
Perhaps towards dark-skinned people00:50:12
Or towards certain countries or nationalities.00:50:17
I feel it.00:50:18
As an African girl, an Algerian, sometimes I feel it.00:50:22
I'm not that different, they can't always tell that I'm Algerian00:50:30
And they're sometimes confused when I say I'm African.00:50:32
“You're African? Your skin is not dark!”00:50:35
I got this a couple days ago when I was in expo city.00:50:40
I saw this handsome dark-skinned guy.00:50:42
I always ask them “Hi, how are you? What's your name?00:50:46
Where are you from?”00:50:48
I always try to have conversations.00:50:51
He said “I'm from Uganda”.00:50:53
And I replied “We’re both Africans!”00:50:54
He said “You're African?”00:50:55
I said “Yeah I am”00:50:56
And he said “You don’t look like you're African”00:50:58
And I replied “In Algeria, we have many skin colors”00:51:05
And he said “Oh, you also have dark skin?”00:51:06
I said “yeah”, and he said “I'm learning something new”.00:51:11
Racism is ignorance.00:51:13
It is, and it’s still there in the minds of very educated people00:51:20
And they treat dark-skinned people very badly.00:51:25
Racism isn’t just towards dark-skinned people.00:51:27
Racism isn’t just towards dark-skinned people.00:51:30
It’s towards nationalities, there’s social class racism00:51:34
And there’s racism towards women wearing Hijabs.00:51:36
Even women who are open-minded are facing racism.00:51:44
Exactly. That’s why I'm saying that we’re in 2023 and that still exists.00:51:51
I don’t like that question you asked that dark-skinned guy00:51:56
“Where are you from?”00:51:57
We ask that question a lot.00:51:59
Yeah a lot. We need to define him.00:52:01
“Where are you from?”00:52:02
And even when he tells you 00:52:06
You need to know the exact region and you go into more detail00:52:09
And you ask about his religion…00:52:12
I don’t care, it’s just a question we ask randomly.00:52:18
I'm talking more about Lebanon.00:52:20
We ask where they're from, and they say Lebanon00:52:23
And then we ask where in Lebanon.00:52:25
I don’t differentiate.00:52:27
I don’t care about knowing that they're from Aleppo for example00:52:29
They're just Syrian or Lebanese or Palestinian.00:52:38
Hopefully all that will change00:52:41
And there will be more of a union between Arabs.00:52:45
We should be unified by our humanity.00:52:47
Exactly. Imagine a world where there are no judgements00:52:55
And where your country isn’t measured based on whether there’s a war in it00:52:59
And where you're treated just as a human.00:53:05
What topics are you touching upon in your podcast?00:53:08
Mostly spiritual things, especially about women.00:53:20
Do you like spiritual topics like meditation?00:53:25
I like deep topics which make us leave behind our programming00:53:35
And which we feel as a person.00:53:38
Last time we talked about wrong programming00:53:44
And there was a lot of engagement on that00:53:47
And I got a lot of messages regarding it.00:53:51
There was an episode regarding the law of attraction00:53:54
And many people liked that.00:53:57
Tell me about wrong programming.00:54:01
It’s the upbringing we talked about00:54:04
And it’s the things which we previously thought are the truth.00:54:12
We have a lot of that.00:54:13
A lot.00:54:14
And it’s not just the parents’ fault.00:54:16
It goes back many generations.00:54:19
Yes, we don’t just inherit money00:54:23
We inherit traumas from our parents00:54:26
And we even inherit their insecurities.00:54:29
So law of attraction?00:54:30
I do believe that when we want something and we’re focused on it00:54:34
We get it.00:54:37
I believe that 100%, and I apply it.00:54:42
If I wanted to buy something like a car00:54:48
And it was out of budget for me00:54:51
I go and hang around it like a bee.00:54:55
You attract it.00:54:56
Yes, I live the moment with it00:54:59
And my thinking changes accordingly.00:55:02
I'm not talking just about materialistic stuff00:55:03
But rather any goal I have.00:55:05
I apply it and live it00:55:07
Even if it wasn’t in my power yet.00:55:09
You focus on it and put it in your head.00:55:10
When someone sets their mind to something, they do it.00:55:16
You don’t just attract the thing00:55:18
You attract the people who will put you on the path towards it.00:55:22
They come to your life.00:55:24
There are vision boards as well00:55:27
And many other tips which could help you achieve.00:55:33
Do you know about the human design?00:55:38
There’s this study about the human design00:55:41
Which says that each person is different.00:55:44
Some are projectors, some are manifesters00:55:47
And some are manifester-generators00:55:49
And some are generators.00:55:50
I don’t know those concepts.00:55:52
Explain them to me.00:55:54
Do you know the words in Arabic?00:55:57
We’ll translate them.00:55:58
If a person finds out what his human design is00:56:02
Then his life and work life will be easier.00:56:07
A projector can get work done in 4 hours.00:56:14
He stays on his laptop and finishes00:56:16
a week or a couple months’ worth of work.00:56:18
That’s a projector?00:56:19
Yes.00:56:20
Okay. A manifester is someone who manifests things00:56:25
And he can do a lot of tasks in a day.00:56:36
Like a multitasker. If you knew your human design00:56:39
Then things will be easier for you00:56:41
And answers will come to you.00:56:44
“He wakes up early and goes to work and works hard00:56:50
“I'm not like him! Is there something wrong?”00:56:52
You're not wrong, you're just different.00:56:56
We were just talking about that 00:56:57
when I was having lunch with the girls.00:57:00
We talked about each person’s personality.00:57:03
I'm the type that goes to his house using the same road every time00:57:08
And I don’t like changing that00:57:09
And my mind is always in a different place.00:57:11
Some people like to discover new roads00:57:15
And they love adventures.00:57:22
There are people who are risky and people who aren’t.00:57:24
In some American companies, they apply the human design00:57:28
So that they know what your place will be if they employ you.00:57:34
There’s a study behind it And let's say you're a projector00:57:36
then they assign you a certain field.00:57:38
They might even know that through your birth date.00:57:46
These are nice theories And I don’t know how scientific it is00:57:49
But we could have different traits like that.00:57:55
Since we’re analyzing personalities00:57:59
I felt something about you which I relate to as I'm the same.00:58:07
People who can't express themselves much turn out to be hard workers00:58:14
Because they want to work twice as hard00:58:18
And they want to prove something.00:58:21
They want to run from their minds.00:58:22
And they exhaust themselves00:58:26
And they work 3 or 4 times as hard, even though it’s unhealthy00:58:34
Yet they succeed.00:58:35
It’s healthy for them.00:58:38
Is it?00:58:39
Some people love working.00:58:41
I'm like that.00:58:43
If they stay at home, they feel out of place.00:58:45
They like working and having ideas and doing things00:58:50
And it’s healthy for them, that’s how they are.00:58:55
Some people can't do it, they're more chill.00:58:58
Some people say that they finish their work00:59:00
And then they want to rest and relax on an island00:59:03
Whereas others say that they don’t want to rest00:59:05
They want to work.00:59:07
I went to the Maldives, but I got angry there.00:59:10
Same, one week felt like a year.00:59:17
I'm that kind of person00:59:18
My mind is always busy, and that’s a very calm place.00:59:22
And you can't get out of that.00:59:24
If something happens, you're stuck.00:59:28
We need psychiatrists Amira.00:59:30
What's normal is…00:59:32
Let’s go study psychology.00:59:35
It’s normal to be able to disconnect 100% from work00:59:41
And to be with friends who don’t have complications00:59:46
And who talk about simple things which aren’t complex00:59:52
And they might be silly, but fun.00:59:54
Some people love drama00:59:57
And they love when there are spicy subjects.01:00:07
I'm the kind of person 01:00:08
that can only hang out with friends from my field.01:00:13
You learn from them.01:00:15
I learn, and I always need to be working.01:00:17
That’s what I'm saying01:00:19
Some people can go through life in a simple way01:00:24
And they have peace of mind01:00:25
And they work less and have less stress.01:00:28
You're not one of those people I guess. 01:00:29
Nope, I'm stressed and working all the time.01:00:34
Even when I take a break.01:00:36
High five.01:00:37
Even when I take a break, I'm working.01:00:40
That’s me.01:00:42
I'm doing a lot of healings to know who I am01:00:48
And I often get to the conclusion that I am like this.01:00:53
Why do I want to change myself?01:00:55
I'm enjoying it. If I work, I'm happy.01:00:58
Do your kids teach you how to disconnect?01:01:03
Yes, a lot, I enjoy spending time with them01:01:05
And I feel that the kid inside me is achieving something with them01:01:08
I love them and I love spending time with them.01:01:12
I slow down with them.01:01:13
Exactly.01:01:14
When you were young, did you feel any jealousy 01:01:17
Or any discrimination between you and your sister and brother?01:01:22
It was in my head.01:01:23
I had a conversation with my mom01:01:26
And I did a podcast with my mom.01:01:28
We talked about this.01:01:31
As I'm the eldest at home 01:01:33
To this day, I feel that I'm their mother01:01:35
Like I'm my father and my mother and my siblings’ mom01:01:37
And I feel that I'm responsible for them.01:01:39
It’s a feeling which I don’t understand01:01:41
And I don’t know if all the eldest children feel that.01:01:45
I told her that I always felt as if she didn’t love me01:01:47
And that she loved my siblings more01:01:49
And that she focused on my sister and brother.01:01:51
Where was I in the picture?01:01:55
She told me that it was just a feeling I had01:01:57
And that since I was her firstborn 01:02:01
She was still learning how to be a mom.01:02:03
She learned through you.01:02:04
Now I understand, it’s normal.01:02:08
Your father was very busy as he was a doctor01:02:13
And your mother was with him and then…01:02:15
They got married out of love.01:02:18
Their love story is beautiful, may God bless them.01:02:24
They had to make some sacrifices 01:02:25
In order for him to finish his medical degree01:02:28
And she started working before him as a teacher01:02:32
Because as a teacher, her education was faster than his.01:02:35
They got married, and the situation wasn’t that good.01:02:39
They moved to a…01:02:42
A different place? Yes, they moved out of the Algerian capital01:02:44
And they moved many places after01:02:46
And then I was born and was like “I'm here!”01:02:50
“I'm also included!”01:02:51
Yeah..01:02:53
So my mom was working and my father was studying and working01:02:57
So I was with my grandma whom I love so much.01:03:02
Now, I'm so grateful for this life.01:03:05
Many people know your story already01:03:08
But I want to get to the topic of how you're handling your children01:03:12
As you just got your second child.01:03:15
Yes, Zein.01:03:16
I know Amir and Zein.01:03:22
How old is Zein?01:03:23
He’s 18 months old.01:03:28
Do you feel any jealousy coming from Amir?01:03:31
No, Amir isn’t jealous01:03:32
But I feel that Zein has a stronger personality.01:03:39
When I had Amir, I was wishing to be a mom01:03:43
And I wanted him so badly, you can't imagine01:03:48
So I gave him all this love, even when he was in my tummy.01:03:51
I was an overprotective mother01:03:57
And he’s so full of love.01:03:59
When you meet him, he’ll hug you and kiss you 01:04:00
And he’s so expressive.01:04:03
Whenever I have to leave01:04:04
He always asks me to give him a hug and a kiss.01:04:08
Zein is more tense.01:04:14
I was very tense when I was pregnant with Zein01:04:17
As I went through a tough period.01:04:19
Sometimes I blame myself for how his personality turned out01:04:25
But then I see videos about how the second son is usually chaotic.01:04:33
He’s more independent. Exactly, he doesn’t care.01:04:36
When you hug him, he wants you to leave him alone. 01:04:41
Do you try to make them feel like…01:04:43
I make them feel like there’s no difference.01:04:45
I love them more than my own life.01:04:47
I sometimes ask myself who I love more, Amir or Zein01:04:51
But I can't answer that. 01:04:53
They're more valuable than my eyes.01:04:57
May God bless them and bless everyone’s kids.01:05:02
I feel that Zein is very different from Amir, but he’s still young.01:05:06
There’s this jealousy like “she’s my mom!”
غيرة تقول "هي أمّي"01:05:12
Even though this is kind of a traditional question01:05:16
And I don’t want this interview to be about questions and answers01:05:19
But tell me what new things are you up to?01:05:23
You're one of those people who have challenged the world to succeed01:05:30
And you’ve proven yourself.
أثبتّ نفسك.01:05:35
I remember when you told your mom 01:05:38
That you’ll get the baccalaureate01:05:40
Even if you weren’t in her school and went to another one01:05:44
As you were at the same school with your mom01:05:46
And you didn’t want to be the…01:05:48
The teacher’s daughter.01:05:49
Yes, and you didn’t want any advantage because of that.
لم تريدي أي أفضليّة بسبب ذلك.01:05:53
So you went to another school, and you had your baccalaureate.01:05:56
Kudos.01:05:57
Thank you.01:06:00
Do you consider social media as a job 01:06:04
Or as an expression of your ideas and feelings?01:06:10
For me, social media is my message.01:06:15
I keep asking myself if I'm doing it just for work or if I truly love it.
دائماً أسأل نفسي ما إذا كنت أفعلها كعمل أو كشغف01:06:21
I answer myself with a simple phrase
لكن الجواب بسيط.01:06:23
And that is when I started on social media, it wasn’t work.
عندا بدأت بالعمل على مواقع التّواصل الاجتماعي، لم يكن هناك عملاً.01:06:27
It was love, pure love. I love the camera.
كان مجرّد حبّاً للكاميرا.01:06:30
At home, I was always holding the camera and filming people.
حتّى في صغري، كنت دائماً أحمل الكاميرا و أصوّر النّاس.01:06:36
I really love the camera and talking and singing
أنا أعشق الكاميرا، و كذلك الغناء.01:06:40
I love singing.01:06:42
No one knows this, but when I was in school
ما من أحد يعرف ذلك، عندما كنت في أيّام المدرسة01:06:47
I had a Youtube channel where I didn’t show my face
كان لدي صفحة على اليوتيوب حيث كنت أغنّي أغاني معروفة.01:06:50
And I sang covers.01:06:52
I didn’t have a nice voice, but I was trying
صوتي لم يكن جميلاً01:06:55
And I wanted this, I was learning…01:06:58
Did you feel like you wanted to get into this for the fame?
هل شعرت بإندفاع لتبدئي بهذا من أجل الشّهرة؟01:07:07
It was about passion.
كان مجرّد شغفاً.01:07:08
There was something I wanted to share with people.
كان هناك شيئاً أردت أن أشاركه مع النّاس01:07:11
I started and I never stopped to this day.
و بدأت به، و لم أتوقّف حتّى اليوم01:07:15
I never took a break or something.
و لم آخذ أي استراحة01:07:17
It’s been like 7 or 8 years for me on social media.
و قد مضت 7 أو 8 أعوام لي على مواقع التّواصل الاجتماعي.01:07:21
What are the biggest obstacles you’ve faced in this industry?01:07:24
When your page grows, you have a bigger responsibility01:07:28
And you become limited, you can't say everything.01:07:34
The lights are shining on you.01:07:35
You'd face problems if you talked about politics or religion01:07:42
And you might put yourself in a tough situation.01:07:44
It happened to many influencers and content creators01:07:48
So I'm being very careful.01:07:51
Sometimes I just want to talk and express myself.
لكن أحياناً أشعر بحاجة لأتكلّم و أعبّر عن نفسي.01:07:54
I hope that we get to a point where we can all state our opinions.
أتمنّى أن نصل لمرحلة حيث يصبح الجميع بإمكانه مشاركة رأيه مهما كان.01:07:58
Exactly, I want this.
بالضّبط، أريد ذلك.01:08:00
Without being judged.01:08:01
That’s why I like the podcast
لذلك أحبّ البودكاست،.01:08:04
And I don’t limit it to a format.
و لا أحدّه بأسلوب معيّن.01:08:06
Podcasts are the future.
البودكاستات هي المستقبل01:08:08
You feel at ease and you talk.
لأنّك تشعر أنّك مرتاح بالكلام.01:08:12
I talk about many things
أنا حذرة جدّاً01:08:14
And when I finish, I'm like “Did I really say that?”
أحياناً أتكلّم عن مواضيع، و أتفاجأ بما قلته عندما أنتهي.01:08:16
I talk without limits, and I'm not afraid of anything
أتكلّم من دون حدود، لا أخاف من أي شيء01:08:20
And people who listen to the podcast 01:08:22
Are people who know what they want.
و النّاس الّذين يستمعون للبودكاست يعرفون ما يريدون.01:08:25
I don’t listen to music in my car now, I listen to podcasts.
أنا لا أستمع للموسيقى في سيّارتي، أستمع إلى بودكاستات.01:08:29
Amazing.
تمام.01:08:30
Yeah, podcasts!01:08:32
Amira, thank you so much for coming to my podcast.
أميرا، شكراً جزيلاً لمجيئك إلى البودكاست.01:08:35
Thank you Hikmat.
شكراً حكمت. I had a great time having you.
استمتعت بالحديث معك.01:08:37
Can I add something?
هل ممكن أن أضيف شيئاً؟01:08:38
Of course.
بالطّبع، تفضّلي.01:08:39
Thank you so much, I felt that you were a therapist.
شكراً جزيلاً، شعرت أنّك طبيباً نفسيّاً01:08:44
You listened to me and your questions are nice
و استمعت لي، و أسئلتك جميلة01:08:46
And your eye contact and energy are great
و نظرتك و طاقتك رائعة.01:08:48
Thank you so much for having me.
شكراً لإستضافتي.01:08:50
Thank you.
شكراً لك،.01:08:51
It was an honor to be here.
تشرّفت بك.01:08:52
Same here, thank you.
و أنا كذلك، شكراً.01:08:54
Thank you so much.Description:
* Turn on captions for subtitles اضغطوا على زر الكابشن للترجمة * Amira Riaa an Algerian television host, YouTuber, fashion designer and Instagram star. She has earned more than 6 million followers on her @amira_riaa instagram account. She launched Amira Riaa's Collection, a brand specializing in modest fashion including scarves and abayates. Her sons make regular appearances in her TikTok videos. She is also a radio host and produced couple of podcasts. In this episode, Amira shares her experiences with producing podcasts, being a mother and a wife, and what it is like to be a content creator. 00:00 - Teaser of the episode. 00:46 - How's the podcast going? 04:47 - Do you feel that you need this for you or do you feel that you're benefitting others through it? 06:15 - You discovered that you have this talent because you didn’t find anyone that listens to you? 07:10 - Did you have to find yourself? 12:57 - Lets talk about generations. 19:00 - Do you feel that that’s because of society’s pressure on women to get married early and get kids? 20:34 - Do you feel that these hardships changed your feelings towards your kid? 28:52 - Tell me how you worked on yourself. Did you start by figuring out the problem? 31:15 - How’s your husband with that? Did he accept that? Does he help you? 35:47 - You’ve said that a woman is a woman’s enemy. What made you think that that exists? And how are you trying to change it? 45:05 - Lets talk about Hijab as you wear one And I'm talking from a societal standpoint, not religious. 47:06 - What do you think about the diversity we now have on social media and in advertisements? The outlook on beauty is changing. 49:54 - We are in 2023 and we still face racism. 54:29 - Lets talk about Law of Attraction. 01:00:58 - Do your kids teach you how to disconnect? 01:05:12 - Tell me what new things are you up to? Do you consider social media as a job Or as an expression of your ideas and feelings? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Connect with Hikmat Instagram - https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@hikmatwehbi Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/add/hikmat_podcast?share_id=7/70IHulQ9qVbfEqnYn2Sg&locale=en_AE&sid=bb1dcef19d0345009a2f4555f0ddf470 Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/hikmatwehbi Connect with Amira Rica Instagram - @amira_riaa https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser YouTube - @amirariaalifestyle3796 https://www.youtube.com/@amirariaalifestyle3796 Listen to Hikmat wehbi Podcast on: Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/ae/podcast/hikmat-wehbi-podcast/id1654477097 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7Iw71ojnSLyDYZPAMg28jE Google Podcast - https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy85NzAwNGUxMC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw?pli=1 Anghami - https://play.anghami.com/artist/14456628?adj_t=dgl0aa8_64v1dnl&adj_campaign=web&adj_adgroup=artist&adj_creative=undefined Our podcast is also on Amazon Music, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Stitcher, and Overcast. Produced by WSTUDIO Instagram - https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Website - https://w-studio.com/ Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@WStudiodxb For all inquiries reach out to [email protected] حكمت_وهبي# حكمت_وهبي_بودكاست# بودكاست#
Preparing download options
Similar videos from our catalog
%3Aformat(webp)%2Fi.ytimg.com%252Fvi%252F4u6qnOxwScc%252Fmaxresdefault.jpg&w=1139&q=75)
%3Aformat(webp)%2Fi.ytimg.com%252Fvi%252FKwHZP-ZOSmM%252Fmaxresdefault.jpg&w=1139&q=75)
%3Aformat(webp)%2Fi.ytimg.com%252Fvi%252Ff4wr-NIP-i4%252Fsd2.jpg%253Fsqp%253D-oaymwEoCIAFEOAD8quKqQMcGADwAQH4AbYIgAKAD4oCDAgAEAEYXiBeKF4wDw%253D%253D%2526rs%253DAOn4CLDbbHNTSWNcgRAgY-cvt_eAW8NfmA&w=1139&q=75)
%3Aformat(webp)%2Fi.ytimg.com%252Fvi_webp%252FmQmK027Zsd0%252Fmaxresdefault.webp&w=1139&q=75)
%3Aformat(webp)%2Fi.ytimg.com%252Fvi%252FzLXA1dtIl7I%252Fmaxresdefault.jpg&w=1139&q=75)
* — If the video is playing in a new tab, go to it, then right-click on the video and select "Save video as..."
** — Link intended for online playback in specialized players
Questions about downloading video
How can I download "Hikmat Wehbi Podcast #89 Amira Riaa أميرة ريا" video?
http://unidownloader.com/ website is the best way to download a video or a separate audio track if you want to do without installing programs and extensions.
The UDL Helper extension is a convenient button that is seamlessly integrated into YouTube, Instagram and OK.ru sites for fast content download.
UDL Client program (for Windows) is the most powerful solution that supports more than 900 websites, social networks and video hosting sites, as well as any video quality that is available in the source.
UDL Lite is a really convenient way to access a website from your mobile device. With its help, you can easily download videos directly to your smartphone.
Which format of "Hikmat Wehbi Podcast #89 Amira Riaa أميرة ريا" video should I choose?
The best quality formats are FullHD (1080p), 2K (1440p), 4K (2160p) and 8K (4320p). The higher the resolution of your screen, the higher the video quality should be. However, there are other factors to consider: download speed, amount of free space, and device performance during playback.
Why does my computer freeze when loading a "Hikmat Wehbi Podcast #89 Amira Riaa أميرة ريا" video?
The browser/computer should not freeze completely! If this happens, please report it with a link to the video. Sometimes videos cannot be downloaded directly in a suitable format, so we have added the ability to convert the file to the desired format. In some cases, this process may actively use computer resources.
How can I download "Hikmat Wehbi Podcast #89 Amira Riaa أميرة ريا" video to my phone?
You can download a video to your smartphone using the website or the PWA application UDL Lite. It is also possible to send a download link via QR code using the UDL Helper extension.
How can I download an audio track (music) to MP3 "Hikmat Wehbi Podcast #89 Amira Riaa أميرة ريا"?
The most convenient way is to use the UDL Client program, which supports converting video to MP3 format. In some cases, MP3 can also be downloaded through the UDL Helper extension.
How can I save a frame from a video "Hikmat Wehbi Podcast #89 Amira Riaa أميرة ريا"?
This feature is available in the UDL Helper extension. Make sure that "Show the video snapshot button" is checked in the settings. A camera icon should appear in the lower right corner of the player to the left of the "Settings" icon. When you click on it, the current frame from the video will be saved to your computer in JPEG format.
What's the price of all this stuff?
It costs nothing. Our services are absolutely free for all users. There are no PRO subscriptions, no restrictions on the number or maximum length of downloaded videos.