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Previous video: The Whipped Cream Challenge! (Haschak Sisters)Next video: "Кривое Зеркало" №20. Спектакль «Комбинат звезд» (2004)

"Кривое Зеркало" №20. Спектакль «Комбинат звезд» (2004)

"Кривое Зеркало" №20. Спектакль «Комбинат звезд» (2004)

Channel: Петросян Live

The Whipped Cream Challenge! (Haschak Sisters)

The Whipped Cream Challenge! (Haschak Sisters)

Channel: Haschak Sisters

"Комический кроссворд" - Е.Петросян

"Комический кроссворд" - Е.Петросян

Channel: Петросян Live

Петросян

Степаненко

Смехопанорама

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Кривое зеркало

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Аншлаг

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Юмор

Смех

Приколы

юмористы

юмористическая передача

смотреть

лучшее

камеди comedy

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прикольный

смешное видео

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00:00:00

[music]

00:00:24

hello hello hello

00:00:27

humor humor humor always encourages its

00:00:30

viewers to smile more often, it

00:00:33

has been proven that people with a sense of humor live

00:00:36

longer because they smile more often,

00:00:39

I saw something that might upset me,

00:00:41

turned on irony, connected a sense of humor

00:00:47

abs changed this matter, but I don’t know what’s

00:00:51

wrong salary prices pension utility

00:00:54

bills and my soul became lighter from my sense of

00:00:56

humor as they say if

00:01:00

fate gave you a sour lemon

00:01:04

think about where to get tequila and have awesome

00:01:09

fun and

00:01:12

and I’m starting myself says not everything is as bad

00:01:16

as we think we just think badly there once

00:01:22

was a guy with unusual surname

00:01:26

glass don’t be surprised there are different surnames

00:01:30

and this guy had a peculiar

00:01:33

sense of humor he named his children

00:01:36

a boy and a girl rum and gin,

00:01:39

meet a glass of rum and a glass of gin

00:01:44

and at my age having a sense of humor is

00:01:48

especially important because the older

00:01:50

you get, the more upsetting the moment oops

00:01:55

and you call on you call on humor for help

00:02:00

come here come here and it begins to invigorate more

00:02:06

cheerfully oh as Igor Guberman stated

00:02:25

in my soul it is not dull and empty and

00:02:30

if I see a lady in a negligee

00:02:32

I feel a living feeling for myself but this

00:02:36

sense of humor is already fun we live read

00:02:42

at least modern advertisement

00:02:44

for the purchase of two or more apartments a bottle of

00:02:48

champagne as a gift

00:02:52

with a firewood chopped with lumps

00:02:59

at the reception we do not issue sick leaves

00:03:02

to the clinic we got to work

00:03:06

and with a little skill stewed pork caps

00:03:15

I didn’t know the pigs of the Kyrgyz Republic and others advertising in

00:03:21

the store

00:03:23

vodka and beer in one can there will be something

00:03:27

to remember and the child has arrived at the camp, the

00:03:32

holes have been given a deadline, we're having fun, we're having fun, an

00:03:39

explanatory note from the bus driver

00:03:43

sold tickets in the salon himself, then

00:03:46

the conductor was so drunk

00:03:48

that he was constantly confused about the change, we had to

00:03:52

put him behind the wheel for a while

00:03:56

[applause]

00:04:00

I eat and news style Nikita Dzhigurda

00:04:03

recently offered a contract to Hollywood, the

00:04:07

golden mile metro company decided

00:04:10

to update the screensaver

00:04:13

[applause]

00:04:15

at the beginning the lion is roaring now Dzhigurda will be

00:04:18

growling

00:04:21

by the way, did you know that the psychologist

00:04:24

Dzhigurda constantly visits the psychologist

00:04:31

news news seeing Danila

00:04:35

Kozlovsky

00:04:36

and Vladimir Mashkov on the plane the passengers who watched the

00:04:40

film the crew

00:04:41

decided to fly on other flights of ours

00:04:49

filmmakers have learned to mow to the west, a

00:04:51

sequel to the film will be released soon with a wolf

00:04:54

howl called from the wolf's yard volume 3 of

00:04:59

the series creatures

00:05:01

4 guides

00:05:04

5 creatures against nits 6 creatures along with

00:05:10

the years against the bastard

00:05:15

Well, what can he say after the release of the

00:05:19

film Prisoner of the Caucasus 2

00:05:22

at least create advice for those who when

00:05:24

making films, you will have a diamond hand and

00:05:27

beware of the car,

00:05:29

and of course you can re-shoot and we

00:05:31

cannot forbid you, but when we come to

00:05:34

the cinema, we will pay our money, show

00:05:37

us old films please somehow

00:05:40

[applause] we

00:05:47

live happily at the farm, goods arrived on the farm, some

00:05:50

of which were defective To

00:05:53

sort the goods, they put a young man in front of

00:05:55

the manager,

00:05:56

he's a good one, he signed the boxes with the letter x to

00:06:00

the block with the letter t, what do

00:06:02

you think, what boxes did you ask for?

00:06:08

fun, here's a picture of a bedroom

00:06:11

train carriage at two o'clock in the morning, everyone is sleeping,

00:06:15

the conductors, too, the carriage enters, a woman

00:06:19

starts screaming throughout the corridor,

00:06:22

crunch,

00:06:29

listen to him not during the day, not needed, but at two

00:06:34

o’clock in the morning, what does crystal have to do with it? The

00:06:37

conductor immediately jumps out and

00:06:40

shouts to this woman from the other end of

00:06:42

the car,

00:06:49

this is the saleswoman from there and shouts ctos

00:06:56

here, show

00:06:58

open the first compartment they come across, people

00:07:04

will say and dope to sing

00:07:09

[applause]

00:07:14

two decided to drink one got it vodka,

00:07:18

another Fanta, the one who got the vodka is on

00:07:21

fire, I won’t drink vodka with Fanta, I’m sad, I’m sick, we’re having fun,

00:07:25

we’re living, the doctor is

00:07:31

flipping through medical records when she says she

00:07:37

turns the page,

00:07:38

well, the patient is in shock, the doctor says

00:07:43

that everything is bad, no, I’m almost at home, I forgot

00:07:47

nothing at all, I don’t see anything fun in the space hotel

00:07:56

has a wonderful concert hall, I

00:07:58

sometimes perform there, I worked as a manager, a

00:08:01

woman named moose, but there are different

00:08:05

names, she’s used to hers, but

00:08:07

you’re not used to people, and when she picked up

00:08:10

the phone,

00:08:11

she solemnly announced, saying, moose from

00:08:15

space

00:08:22

ran merrily, hello, good night, you Can you hear me at

00:08:29

three o'clock in the morning, who is this dad of your

00:08:33

student and Lenovo, you're sleeping heavily, of course,

00:08:38

and we're sawing chestnuts, acorns are leaking,

00:08:44

preparing a craft for your

00:08:47

competition tomorrow, goodbye, sweat,

00:08:58

we're having fun, a woman on her way to work

00:09:01

found a frozen squirrel in the snow,

00:09:04

well, God's creature took pity on the

00:09:09

boat. carried home her husband

00:09:13

was supposed to return from a business trip that day, but

00:09:16

she left a squirrel in a shoe box

00:09:19

and went to work. In

00:09:21

the afternoon, her husband called and asked, did you go

00:09:25

crazy?

00:09:34

I saw on the table the pancakes that the hostess

00:09:37

baked for her husband’s arrival, do

00:09:39

you think this swapper hung

00:09:42

pancakes all over the apartment, she

00:09:46

especially tried to find strong enemies

00:09:49

in the hallway,

00:09:52

the husband came into the apartment, he confused pancakes everywhere

00:09:58

and most importantly, a note dear, it’s for you that

00:10:06

we live happily, the old lady collected flowers in the

00:10:10

cemetery then sold them but her business

00:10:13

is like, well, what are you going to do? she

00:10:16

adapted, she was so forced to

00:10:20

adapt,

00:10:21

she was collecting, she was collecting, and she didn’t notice the back, a

00:10:25

freshly dug grave, she fell through there,

00:10:30

but somehow successfully, I didn’t break anything,

00:10:33

I didn’t break it, and I wasn’t even scared, but I

00:10:36

won’t tell myself anything. they will get scared, they will

00:10:39

pull out anyway, she says it’s good

00:10:44

to eat, she took

00:10:48

a sandwich in this strength, poured milk,

00:10:53

sits, snacking,

00:10:56

and then two were walking, but she, don’t believe them,

00:11:02

but she can hear them, one year, I drank, you

00:11:06

hope the old lady screamed, dear, can you

00:11:15

imagine how they freely have

00:11:18

fun living, the ATM was located on the street

00:11:22

from the bank there was a man on the first floor, a

00:11:26

man ran to the bank and Karl shouted, quickly

00:11:29

everyone went out into the street,

00:11:31

what is it, what happened there, a nightmare there,

00:11:34

your ATM blew on the old lady,

00:11:38

that the grandmother was given a credit card by

00:11:42

her daughter and so that she would not lose it, he hung it

00:11:45

on a chain around her neck,

00:11:51

we are having fun a 3-year-old girl got into trouble with her

00:11:55

dad, he wanted to scold Agatha, she noticed it,

00:11:57

went up to him and said daddy

00:11:59

didn’t go to his hands, you will never be a

00:12:01

daddy again, I love you so much, please don’t

00:12:03

scold me, dad softened, naturally

00:12:06

they will melt, she put her palms to

00:12:08

the counters and scale the scale floated

00:12:11

bearded having

00:12:17

fun taking at the market seller Kafka from

00:12:20

screaming on on on on on on on on on on on

00:12:25

on on cinema Russian language teacher

00:12:29

I have such a word ban nations case dear

00:12:33

what bananas are gone hears him

00:12:37

screaming she bananas we are having

00:12:43

fun the man had to get a

00:12:47

certificate for the deceased person about the

00:12:51

absence of debt, he came to him,

00:12:54

they tell him to write a statement on his behalf on

00:12:58

his behalf, the inscription well, how is this him, he

00:13:00

died a month ago

00:13:02

anyway, we have this order, it means he

00:13:05

wrote I am like he died on such and such a date,

00:13:11

give me a certificate so that it doesn’t happen

00:13:15

calmly signed for him, issued a certificate,

00:13:27

hello, beauty of the dash numbers, I wo

00:13:31

n’t let anyone who got the number, listen, granny, are

00:13:35

n’t you too daring for the wardrobe

00:13:38

city

00:13:42

[applause] we have fun,

00:13:44

business travelers arrived at the

00:13:47

hotel, there were no places in this hotel

00:13:50

except for 1 bed in a double room,

00:13:53

but there were administrators it was reported that this

00:13:56

place is free only because

00:13:58

there lives a man who snores very heavily

00:14:00

and could not stand next to

00:14:05

him to fall asleep but about the commander but there was no way out

00:14:08

he agreed in the morning he came out

00:14:11

freshly slept the rested

00:14:14

administrator was surprised

00:14:16

how you managed to sleep

00:14:19

next to such snorers, he explained, I

00:14:23

came in, he 10 then snored very much, I quietly walked

00:14:26

up to him, kissed him on the cheek and

00:14:30

said good night, disgusting,

00:14:43

he didn’t wake up immediately

00:14:46

. he didn’t break his eye all night, the

00:14:50

button

00:14:53

to the gas station itself, a cool car pulled

00:14:58

up, a glamorous girl got out of it, everyone was

00:15:01

moving separately,

00:15:06

the question was where once on 5a please and I went to

00:15:09

pay when I returned it turned out that the

00:15:14

keys were in the car and the doors were locked like that, it’s

00:15:18

good at least the glass it

00:15:20

was ajar, she asked the gas station attendant to

00:15:22

help, he went and found some kind of stiff

00:15:26

wire, explained to

00:15:27

this girl how to pierce it there, what

00:15:32

pressure means to unlock the car,

00:15:35

after some time the

00:15:37

drivers gathered around the car, who began to be terribly

00:15:40

hysterical, he would say to laugh, well, the gas station

00:15:43

attendant asked what was the matter, why are

00:15:46

you laughing Dolan there is some fool

00:15:49

trying to open the car with a wire and open it, so

00:15:52

what is it I and the wire gave it to me in

00:15:54

the salon, a friend in the side

00:15:59

[applause]

00:16:03

and shown where to poke

00:16:08

fun we live the distance between my

00:16:12

generation and the current one has lengthened

00:16:15

endlessly the young man asked me everything for the

00:16:20

song was yours for a while he was noisy like a mouse,

00:16:26

and when you read the comments on the Internet, they are

00:16:29

often angry with three-story obscenities, and

00:16:33

you think how much anger

00:16:37

and idiots we have got from where the

00:16:42

good international people come from, why do young people

00:16:45

allow themselves to do this? I am very upset, and

00:16:50

recently I was struck by the fact that

00:16:55

completely different

00:16:57

kind videos began to appear on the Internet on one of them, a girl

00:17:02

reads touching poems about millions, I

00:17:06

listen carefully from the likes that there are

00:17:10

millions, I was very happy

00:17:14

that young people began to be interested in

00:17:17

poetry in which there is human

00:17:20

sincerity, sincerity inspires hope

00:17:24

for the best, and my best friends are when

00:17:28

life is not only cheerful but also joyful. I

00:17:32

wish you

00:17:35

[applause]

00:17:49

[music]

00:17:51

[applause]

00:17:56

[music]

00:17:58

it through loves

00:18:04

[music]

00:18:09

curiosities from life now technology

00:18:13

electronics create additional

00:18:15

conveniences

00:18:16

if centuries you can see how a

00:18:19

child left at home with a nanny behaves what it doesn’t

00:18:22

does you can right there over the

00:18:25

speakerphone, tell her no, don’t feed him this,

00:18:28

one woman bought her dog a collar

00:18:31

with feedback on the collar, there was a

00:18:35

video camera, a microphone and even a small

00:18:38

speaker,

00:18:39

you can give commands to the dog remotely,

00:18:42

she put the dog in the elevator, she pressed the

00:18:45

button for the 1st floor, she

00:18:47

went for a walk, then

00:18:50

the owner gave the command to the smartphone, happy, the

00:18:53

dog approached the front door, the

00:18:56

woman decided not to go down to it

00:18:59

because she saw a neighbor entering the entrance,

00:19:02

he found himself having fun, recognizing the dog, he

00:19:04

launched it into the entrance,

00:19:05

they approached the elevator, the woman spoke to him into the

00:19:09

microphone on the ninth floor, stop

00:19:11

please, the neighbor automatically issued without

00:19:15

problems,

00:19:16

then he was surprised, he opened his mouth,

00:19:19

looked around for a long time, then stared at the dog,

00:19:23

they reached the 9th floor,

00:19:25

the dog came out, said thank you and wished him

00:19:28

his apartment, and what happened next with

00:19:32

the man, I don’t know, or this is another story on

00:19:36

tour in Israel, I learned a lot about the

00:19:39

history of the country,

00:19:40

about how people live people must say that there are

00:19:42

very often large families there,

00:19:46

I would even think so and this is the

00:19:50

picture on the bus psalm a

00:19:52

gang of children bursts in, about six people led by

00:19:55

the mother,

00:19:56

chirping, pushing, placed on

00:19:58

the seats, the driver waits patiently for

00:20:02

the passengers, grumbling 1 aunt speaks

00:20:05

towards the mother with what to carry

00:20:08

I could have half of everyone behind me and leave us at home to my

00:20:11

mother, answer and I did just that, the

00:20:16

passenger is laughing, the aunt who was grumbling, that’s the

00:20:20

humor in life, I’m not an arlazorov

00:20:25

from above, his memory specialized in

00:20:28

communicating with the viewer, all the time trying to

00:20:31

pull out of this communication the living humor

00:20:35

of life. I rarely started performing because

00:20:40

somehow it was more about presentations there for

00:20:42

all sorts of birthdays somewhere a toast

00:20:46

somewhere I would congratulate my wife somewhere military

00:20:49

stripes all at once I’m all at once the girl is growing up and the

00:20:52

funeral is a cheerful guy well there I

00:21:02

can just cry just what a person

00:21:05

lost, and yet in the bathhouse,

00:21:10

well, they don’t do a damn thing there when I

00:21:12

undress and run away from and everything is as if

00:21:16

please, that I’m working,

00:21:20

photo, hunt, you want to do the entrance,

00:21:25

what, so what, they called me, here I am,

00:21:28

I’m saying that I can, I’m burning at the

00:21:30

birthday presentations, I can use

00:21:33

this as an example, the men asked, I’m

00:21:35

calling the intercom for a while, the husbands are there, there’s noise,

00:21:38

I’m calling and calling,

00:21:40

and I and Afanasov, she’s not at home, he’s not at home,

00:21:51

I live

00:21:53

yesterday, because we watched exactly seven

00:21:57

o’clock, he’s not at home now at home who and

00:22:02

why we came from the Internet were

00:22:07

yours

00:22:09

written kyuubi here is

00:22:13

my mouse it’s two hours at the entrance we’re freezing he

00:22:17

doesn’t have to wear his ears

00:22:21

kyuubi

00:22:23

and we’re talking to the residents about I’ll designate how he is

00:22:34

I haven’t known for five years no matter what the

00:22:37

ward cares how long

00:22:41

dragomir that I don’t know how much my husband

00:22:48

that time they came for 5 to kill you

00:22:55

better office 1010 that’s where the money is

00:22:59

needed

00:23:01

don’t drag your feet call him the way to the

00:23:04

house I’d go we’ll wait when the

00:23:07

valuables are torn nearby

00:23:11

[applause]

00:23:16

league let’s talk and what

00:23:17

suggestions what to do for someone

00:23:22

birthday with seals of faces for look

00:23:26

military man

00:23:33

I live take you

00:23:36

cook commander can I do 40 and

00:23:40

then 220 I said 200 robot the whole ball of

00:23:46

steps turban

00:23:48

floor who is not exactly this 100 then together

00:23:54

130 I will take the first forty steps you

00:23:59

will have time to think whether you need to do

00:24:01

the rest of the matches right now everything in the world is changing

00:24:06

you can change your mind to reconsider

00:24:08

the decision you will have room for maneuver you remember

00:24:11

when we had a gas attack we

00:24:13

rehearsed you were pleased about the gas masks they did

00:24:16

not give out nicknames let's drink to the

00:24:21

contract army which will be everyone

00:24:25

take a step for money

00:24:34

they say a woman always knows what to

00:24:37

ask when she doesn’t know what to answer 1

00:24:41

she said just don’t think that I’m

00:24:43

kind I just don’t have enough evil for everyone

00:24:47

no one understands me like I do

00:24:50

n’t understand myself

00:24:52

female logic is like a dumb man told

00:24:55

a deaf man that a blind man saw how a legless man

00:24:58

walked on water,

00:25:00

in short, they are always thinking how to

00:25:03

stop

00:25:04

stopping and start starting, how could he

00:25:09

walk without speaking smartly, that’s the question,

00:25:12

because often incomprehensible understandable concepts

00:25:16

understand that need to be understood as in the

00:25:19

mind till to understand reasonable

00:25:21

different differences in the size of

00:25:24

their true size, comparing them with the

00:25:27

main valuable values, appreciating

00:25:30

all the assessments of people, assessing their

00:25:33

shortcomings to a sufficient extent, you

00:25:36

can talk endlessly, everything that is possible

00:25:38

and impossible is possible, I assume that you are

00:25:41

smart and around you are stupid fools, stupid,

00:25:44

of course, all conditionally, conditionally speaking,

00:25:47

unconditional things, well, how to explain what

00:25:51

cannot be explained

00:25:52

you can only shout scream loudly

00:25:55

shout loud phrases

00:25:58

oh how difficult this simple conversational

00:26:02

genre is, in fairness, I note that scientists

00:26:06

have established that the brain of women is one and a half

00:26:09

times more beautiful than that of a man,

00:26:14

and I would add 156

00:26:20

even my friend called and told us

00:26:23

that the neighbor said Tywin the professor

00:26:25

said Well, in short, science has proven that a

00:26:27

woman has 50 grams of brain less than

00:26:31

men, but well, as a society,

00:26:36

the man immediately weighed

00:26:41

that she had this nonsense, it’s vile, you’re the one who will drag him through the

00:26:44

courts, the Uspensky

00:26:46

professor has come to the point of people’s brains

00:26:49

weighing the bridge, he’s in the head grows,

00:26:52

it lies well,

00:26:54

in short, it leaks, they weigh the

00:27:01

whole head, without taking it out, so

00:27:05

of course in men it can be 50 grams more

00:27:07

if he has dandruff and a horse with earflaps,

00:27:11

so that the

00:27:12

lawyer in Petaling has increased fungi 100

00:27:15

grams for the main thing, yes for women 250 oh

00:27:17

girls we do it for him already saw when

00:27:20

we spend the whole day on TV God

00:27:21

watches all this kind of like a normal o.a.

00:27:27

it’s not like 50 grams, only there it does

00:27:29

n’t put pressure chronically at all, isn’t it the mind on a

00:27:34

full-fledged personality, two hours of any like

00:27:37

2 mangy macaques of the day, so labor for a week,

00:27:40

other

00:27:42

dirty families, not 11

00:27:47

if the hamadryas crusts get sick and you can

00:27:50

not miss the understudy,

00:27:52

but no one even will guess that this is

00:27:54

the music I, which the

00:27:58

club is not all so beautiful, elegant,

00:28:00

no one undertakes mine, what does the ballet look like,

00:28:03

break it up, but the star of the war of crackers,

00:28:06

throw the doctor there, my swamp, what do you

00:28:10

need, a [ __ ] chimpanzee,

00:28:12

so that in fact she jumped in the ring in

00:28:15

family shorts

00:28:16

for 7 discounts with a padded she was limping with an eye

00:28:19

on both of them,

00:28:21

in general, exacerbations of chronic

00:28:23

imbecility, can you imagine telling me that

00:28:26

the songs of the cabaret duet academy are to-to-do to

00:28:29

na nan this makes no sense at all, something

00:28:34

you can understand, you are an oligophrenic

00:28:36

slaughter, you simply cannot understand this

00:28:39

deep philosophy, even academicians sing

00:28:49

[applause]

00:28:53

how is it that it’s not clear to me personally, everything is clear to me,

00:28:55

this song is about the tragedy of a woman’s

00:28:57

soul, she loved him at night, slept on him and

00:29:03

left him and here and there for another,

00:29:08

but less than the idiot’s retinue, even though you’re hiding it, you’re

00:29:11

still at the angle from the passport the smell is

00:29:20

at least half a kilo about my mother, about five kilograms,

00:29:25

she favors her superbrain,

00:29:31

she then remembers you with you

00:29:34

and men will save asking a man, I let

00:29:36

this series go, put the reason

00:29:38

of course me when you work, the elbow

00:29:40

hits the asphalt mail,

00:29:46

because the reason for fear and love is already called

00:29:48

there, it means so once upon a time there

00:29:50

lived a girl and he didn’t like her

00:29:52

because she hadn’t been playing with the dark one for 10 years

00:29:55

and who did they go for a walk and then Markova

00:29:57

worked at the hairdresser at that time, she had

00:29:59

her hair cut and her mustache swept perfectly,

00:30:03

come on man, she reacts with an

00:30:05

overbite and canaries,

00:30:09

it’s actually a game it wasn’t a canary it

00:30:10

was disguised and the captain of the FSB Magadan

00:30:13

she was this torment with new skills in the head

00:30:16

hire a skating rink climbed

00:30:18

Grigoryan at the most interesting place I

00:30:20

became a skirt shook off running home Santa

00:30:22

Barbara sailor 2 press on the tail soon

00:30:24

help hung

00:30:26

and the machines of the troops you decided to

00:30:28

sew on hands, but you will still need to

00:30:31

firmly put you there, I say, take your hands off

00:30:33

yourself,

00:30:35

what does it mean to put me for my husband, maybe

00:30:40

you had a broken arm at 8, swore an oath hydra

00:30:42

rolling with your feet, not so sodp, but how did you

00:30:46

get attached to the

00:30:47

shorter fiber in some Rome, so there’s

00:30:50

no TV there it seemed to her that it was

00:30:51

morning, father-in-law Igor was coming,

00:30:53

dad, dad, I was diving, tell me

00:30:56

something, we’re eating with Cruz, we got it, we’ll see a

00:31:00

splinter or 5 years old and I immediately realized

00:31:10

that he was a [ __ ]

00:31:11

and after that they would all claim

00:31:13

that they were smarter and the boss at work, the

00:31:15

girls, were as stupid a stool,

00:31:16

and the stool is made of oak wood,

00:31:20

I called yesterday and it’s normal to say so to

00:31:22

Eduard in nature, I’m not coming much work, I’m giving

00:31:25

birth to a hamster,

00:31:33

he didn’t understand, there’s no

00:31:36

need for an incomprehensible hamster May and

00:31:38

Leonora should be about to go around studying, but what do

00:31:42

you have to do with it here, well, like a hook

00:31:46

she is the first to contact and suggest a

00:31:48

difficult birth because usually this is a real

00:31:50

pressure on them and so in general the concept should

00:31:54

be her husband is a hamster because their

00:31:56

hamsters when the ball gets around they are completely

00:31:58

although they can notice how they should,

00:32:04

except for the damn mother come to

00:32:07

work that they wear a hamster and he is a father

00:32:11

he must be present often fashionably

00:32:14

I can talk more

00:32:15

Eleanor racks must go accept

00:32:17

kind of lying everything was to go give birth to kittens and

00:32:22

hang up girls I have fish

00:32:25

I have him 200 times he my husband

00:32:27

came yesterday wrong they googled his mustache that he washed his

00:32:29

jeans in their aquarium Misha for 3 nights

00:32:32

the teacher was so swimming crawl on his back to

00:32:37

him they didn’t even say a rude word so

00:32:39

this is our professor with the brains

00:32:40

you are like a cow mooing the cars

00:32:42

only the girls were silent and were surprised for some reason why

00:32:46

when the skating rink hit me I didn’t

00:32:48

have a concussion

00:32:57

Danilko decided this bridge, the main thing is to

00:33:01

always be beautiful and for men to love us

00:33:03

while they have much less brains than

00:33:05

we do [music]

00:33:22

what a woman thinks about, what they dream about, what

00:33:28

a woman wants, she thinks, I want to become a

00:33:32

sleeping beauty, if I can’t wait for the prince,

00:33:36

then at least I’ll get some sleep,

00:33:38

tell them logically there is no logic for

00:33:41

women, it’s all just long hair that needs to be

00:33:45

shortened, straightened to wither and

00:33:48

curly hair to be straightened, they do

00:33:52

n’t need much to be happy, just to make the mirror happy and do

00:33:55

n’t upset the scales, friend, I started a war with

00:33:58

fat, oh

00:34:00

something, I see something is taking him prisoner, a

00:34:03

woman waits at the bus stop and

00:34:06

talks guys, I'll tell you how

00:34:09

public transport is, you

00:34:11

stand there waiting for the right number and it's still not

00:34:15

there, and when you realize that it's

00:34:17

useless to wait, you get on another number and

00:34:21

go on your way with transfers to sad

00:34:26

humor a woman prays to God and wisdom

00:34:31

for a man to understand Yes, and love

00:34:34

to forgive the length of

00:34:37

patience to withstand his character,

00:34:40

only the strength was not given, I will chop off and you the legs of

00:34:45

women A.Yu.

00:34:49

[music]

00:34:57

it was great if the St. Petersburg evening in a

00:35:01

new dress I went for a walk, I

00:35:04

look and lied to meet me in the

00:35:08

same dress so-and-so

00:35:11

walked like Mr. Barges, let's take

00:35:14

you like a terminator after the day of judgment,

00:35:18

table 3 if anything snapped, I

00:35:25

walked like a locust in the Krasnodar

00:35:28

fields, such a cow, instead of just looking at her lip

00:35:32

and didn’t look back, you

00:35:35

should look, what if I curse her,

00:35:38

you look great, thank you, and it’ll be a

00:35:42

little fun, I’ll

00:35:43

come home and rip this dress

00:35:49

[applause]

00:35:57

I don’t have to ask for anything with her

00:36:00

terrible trouble,

00:36:02

my friend will always lend her shoulder and will

00:36:06

always be with me,

00:36:07

but the guys glue their targets on me, because someone

00:36:12

discovered the law of two girlfriends, there is always one in the

00:36:17

face of a crocodile

00:36:21

[music] [

00:36:24

applause]

00:36:25

[music]

00:36:31

lighthouse with the sun I can damiano

00:36:41

and the next morning a bunch of people

00:36:45

from Turkey husband was waiting

00:36:53

[applause]

00:37:00

how many good men more often pull on the

00:37:07

chopping block

00:37:09

insolent people on a good womanizer serves owls

00:37:13

seemingly cool

00:37:19

[music]

00:37:21

disturbing my peace of

00:37:26

pepper

00:37:28

that the nerves love thereby

00:37:32

and

00:37:35

with [music]

00:37:37

I have that you are stupid

00:37:42

that

00:37:45

you want it hard

00:37:49

[music]

00:37:55

[applause]

00:38:00

[music]

00:38:04

mayor don't knock the wheels here I thought

00:38:16

the hero of the fermentation wife I

00:38:20

want to show up don't wait for me

00:38:27

dad today with the car my daughter has

00:38:33

light hair color and it has become a dangerous

00:38:41

quagmire

00:38:42

I drove into a swamp I need about

00:38:47

[music]

00:38:48

[applause]

00:38:54

[ music]

00:39:00

oh depilation of the brain for pus

00:39:05

[music]

00:39:07

[applause] the

00:39:13

sailor husband

00:39:17

knocked on the door in silence and arrived ahead of schedule, I

00:39:23

believe there is a bottle of cognac on Yuki’s table

00:39:33

where in the hangar where is he a bastard husband wisecrack

00:39:39

[music]

00:39:59

tattoo with benzene and I thought it wasn’t right,

00:40:04

now I’ll describe you

00:40:08

[music]

00:40:16

[applause]

00:40:18

[music]

00:40:23

[applause]

00:40:24

I’ll go out to the kitchen at night to store

00:40:31

flour

00:40:33

and then

00:40:36

I wo

00:40:39

n’t suddenly

00:40:41

wake up an animal I’ll open one

00:40:46

flour I finished off the

00:40:50

refrigerators

00:40:52

thanks to me

00:40:56

I’ll remove the

00:40:58

ruble this

00:41:02

[music]

00:41:04

finally a vinaigrette for my appetite but

00:41:09

from team

00:41:14

I won’t start from the

00:41:16

ra

00:41:17

Odessa and touch my clothes all hours

00:41:33

102 the

00:41:35

soul is drowned out by anger what can I do and if the

00:41:41

big bone

00:41:47

[applause]

00:41:54

the world has become too small

00:41:59

my black jeans

00:42:03

yes this is

00:42:05

[music]

00:42:07

us too and in general I have nothing to wear

00:42:15

[music]

00:42:22

[ music]

00:42:38

[applause]

00:42:41

[music]

00:42:49

yes shopping, it's time for us to go

00:42:54

shopping at the level of

00:42:58

Zhilin

00:43:00

[applause]

00:43:02

[music]

00:43:06

and

00:43:09

taking life promised on the

00:43:11

7th

00:43:17

[music] [music] [

00:43:38

applause] [music] [applause]

00:43:41

[music]

00:43:49

[applause]

00:43:53

[ music]

00:43:57

shebnem

00:43:59

men to you in the afternoon

00:44:06

[music]

00:44:14

[applause] [music]

00:44:19

[applause] [

00:44:20

music] [

00:44:29

applause]

00:44:32

[music]

00:44:33

[applause]

00:44:35

[music]

00:44:47

this is Rudneva

00:44:49

[applause]

00:44:51

[music]

00:44:55

hello Vasya how is life after the wedding

00:45:01

I I’ve never been so happy she’s

00:45:06

nearby and for a very long time than and hold on bro

00:45:13

hold on

00:45:15

Soviet times we had a very

00:45:18

good saying just need to hold on they

00:45:20

beat us and we’re getting stronger the Mexicans also

00:45:26

said similar things about themselves meaning the

00:45:28

upper neighbors they tried to bury

00:45:32

us that is in the ground bury but they didn’t

00:45:35

know that we were

00:45:37

seeds oh as it was said in one word for evil

00:45:43

unsuccessful for evil a mess so that it doesn’t happen to

00:45:47

you don’t lose heart you sometimes get skidded with your

00:45:51

knees and belly what’s suitable for everyone but do

00:45:55

n’t lose heart

00:45:57

like one of my heroes does

00:46:02

[applause]

00:46:15

wife tape I’m greedy and the

00:46:20

authors brought me into this adventure so that I would

00:46:25

take part in fights without rules, the

00:46:31

organizers said that if I won

00:46:37

a lot of money they paid my

00:46:40

wife and mother-in-law if I threw off my hooves

00:46:47

2 times more so they also

00:46:52

shouted at my opponent more often all evening it’s

00:46:54

not for me

00:46:59

to cheer him up either, don’t worry, everything

00:47:01

will be fine for you and nine days sour,

00:47:07

well, right before the fight you didn’t put on white

00:47:10

slippers then don’t change your shoes, I’m calling people, I

00:47:16

look, my opponent comes into the ring with a

00:47:19

scary face, makes a chance to hide it, and your mind

00:47:22

has made a disabled person out of you,

00:47:26

haven’t been for a year and haven’t would have prevented the

00:47:34

premium painful hold found something to scare

00:47:37

us in what country do we live in my life

00:47:40

so much Bella necks more used to giving

00:47:43

the race as he began to think about me but thoughts malati

00:47:47

milk if you don’t feel sorry for your legs your legs are

00:47:53

n’t made of iron recently a Toyota knocked me down

00:48:03

I got off with a fright you had to give

00:48:06

me the body with his hands the dude began to hit on the head with

00:48:20

our hands against the bone and

00:48:24

the more cells the double protection of the

00:48:26

skull and Polly the gin from Houdini his

00:48:33

hands began to twist, they don’t twist anymore, they

00:48:36

just scroll, bite, he

00:48:43

began, well, well, they bite, you can see

00:48:50

how the dog bit her for a long time, she was treated for rabies for a long time I

00:48:57

still confuse the columns with passers-by and

00:49:02

run around with my leg raised, so

00:49:06

I vote for someone, the

00:49:10

fool did me in the neck and hit me, I did

00:49:17

n’t know what was reducing the most

00:49:20

inflated place there all my life my mother-in-law

00:49:23

sit

00:49:28

[applause] the

00:49:30

concept of the soul began

00:49:34

30 minutes of the soul all the way they turned blue a

00:49:42

bunch of you are suffering you are all suffering

00:49:46

the tax inspector has been able to strangle me for three years now

00:49:49

the police strangled me for a pint

00:49:53

station of the state

00:49:56

colleagues Reuters and I am still alive to spite

00:50:00

everyone, the

00:50:09

parasite is threshing on my right leg,

00:50:13

I have not felt it for a long time, my mother-in-law

00:50:19

smoothed it out like you said that your legs

00:50:22

were no longer here,

00:50:26

and this fool threw the things made on my back

00:50:28

and with all his might he jumped onto my stomach, it’s his

00:50:31

own fault

00:50:39

8 broke the ceiling, he

00:50:42

found where to jump on my stomach, he’s been on my

00:50:45

beer for a long time since they fell,

00:50:50

this one was all trying to please below the belt,

00:50:57

he I didn’t know that he was a major

00:51:00

defense,

00:51:01

I took Viagra before the fight, the devil

00:51:10

changed everything, he’s pounding me

00:51:14

and he’s writhing in pain,

00:51:19

the right people say

00:51:22

there’s no trick against crowbar and still I won, I know

00:51:26

how in close combat I carried out my signature

00:51:29

blow, I breathed fumes on the enemy, fighting

00:51:34

without rules

00:51:37

[ applause]

00:51:39

[music]

00:51:46

[music]

00:51:47

[applause]

00:51:49

[music]

00:51:53

humor humor humor by its very name

00:51:58

implies a variety of species and,

00:52:01

most importantly, it calls not only

00:52:03

for a cheerful outlook on life but also for

00:52:05

witty resourcefulness.

00:52:08

periodically we consider for a

00:52:10

change the margot of our time ancestors

00:52:13

were very sharply intelligent people,

00:52:15

such historical curiosities are known

00:52:19

that Peter the First doted on less

00:52:22

kawe,

00:52:23

however this did not stop him from often

00:52:25

beating his Serene Highness the Prince and I must

00:52:29

say that there was something for which somehow the Tsar

00:52:31

got very angry 1 white munoz put a

00:52:35

hefty flashlight under his eye and

00:52:38

the counter son shouted, go over there, so that your feet

00:52:42

are no longer here, the

00:52:44

menshchikov ran away, but a minute later

00:52:47

he entered the office again in his arms, here she is, the

00:52:52

resourcefulness of the

00:52:54

studs of the house of Catherine the Second, Countess

00:52:57

Alexandra Strongly Bronnitskaya

00:52:59

once noticed that the Empress was taking snuff from the

00:53:02

snuff box with her

00:53:05

left hand and asked

00:53:08

why is your majesty also wrong, to

00:53:11

which Catherine responded to her like a king, a woman,

00:53:14

I often kiss my right hand and

00:53:18

find it obscene to choke everyone with my

00:53:21

tobacco, that’s

00:53:22

what witty correctness

00:53:26

Nicholas 1 was walking around the capital at night,

00:53:30

he liked to check posts, he was coming to meet him, saying

00:53:33

sorry when he saw the king

00:53:35

stretched out in the second where did you ask

00:53:39

the emperor of the bends your majesty

00:53:43

fool scout for bow everyone

00:53:46

bows before your majesty

00:53:50

nikolai liked such resourcefulness and

00:53:54

the ensign woke up the captain

00:53:57

now let's listen to the artist we will

00:54:01

reward him with your audience

00:54:05

sympathy I come from the city of Makeyevka

00:54:09

who doesn’t know this means the city under

00:54:11

Donetsk is a twin city of Paris

00:54:14

in terms of beauty, I’ve been on tour for years and

00:54:17

I think I’ll go to see my dear aunt and visit her, and my

00:54:19

aunt lives in a five-story building on the first

00:54:22

floor and I go up to the entrance and on the porch of her

00:54:26

friend Aunt Klava, whom I’ve known since

00:54:28

childhood

00:54:31

[music]

00:54:37

it’s not like that, but Compared to my aunt,

00:54:42

she’s just not silent,

00:54:46

but when all the women at the entrance came out

00:54:48

to the bench in the evening, I involuntarily listened to

00:54:51

this women’s choir and was impressed and

00:54:53

I’ll share with you the conversation Aunt Klava began

00:54:56

so little by little

00:54:57

about the girl, I’m doing something like that, go to our

00:55:00

Moscow or dachas there to take something from her the

00:55:02

whole Okinawa family poured through Moscow

00:55:05

ulyana walked all day long in the morning

00:55:08

take released and launched only at night

00:55:13

2 with a this year we went with our

00:55:16

cotton wool granddaughter to Anapa on the

00:55:19

train went well everything well

00:55:22

I got caught up in a drunken man I turn off the light, he climbs,

00:55:25

which means granddaughters, I turn him on, I chase him, turn him off, he

00:55:28

climbs in and turns him on, I don’t turn him off, he climbs, I

00:55:30

turn on the water and the girls, don’t believe me,

00:55:32

I only calmed down when he

00:55:34

climbed onto my shelf on the

00:55:39

window, on the contrary, this year the grandchildren will come, the

00:55:42

girls, I was herding sheep and maybe I want to.

00:55:44

to change my image before their arrival, my grandfather says he’s

00:55:48

sitting next to me, what are you going to change in your

00:55:50

old age, Harry, maybe I shouldn’t comb my hair

00:55:54

back, I’ll think about the

00:55:57

old one, where the hair is back,

00:56:04

the intellectual herself says oh girls, and

00:56:08

I have a daughter-in-law,

00:56:10

they spend all the money on hair from shampoo this is an advertisement,

00:56:12

you know, yes, this is memati, great

00:56:15

food for your hair, you know, grandfather,

00:56:18

well, that’s right, at least let your hair

00:56:20

eat normally and suddenly the conversation starts with the

00:56:25

oldest grandmother who was sleeping before, and I

00:56:28

girls intel advertising don’t believe it for 10

00:56:31

months on TV tale figures

00:56:33

try soap dove try we water

00:56:36

I tried such heartburn you say,

00:56:44

but there is only there is and I would be more than half a minute

00:56:49

into business and not buzzing in front of the money

00:56:53

he is Mallorca from the third floor the day before yesterday

00:56:56

another liter of bump in business is still sitting in the

00:56:58

children's sandbox in the eagle pose and

00:57:00

can’t fly home

00:57:03

water time in the gallery suitable kid 5

00:57:06

years old at

00:57:07

least Snickers he's from where routes not wirst

00:57:11

mom bought me Snickers and tanks bounty

00:57:15

oh-pa-na where did mom get the money bottles

00:57:19

your health bought food Valerka proudly

00:57:23

after a pause all the row folder bad the

00:57:36

most intelligent to step here again

00:57:38

give me glasses, yes, with these guys there are only

00:57:40

problems, it’s just our blood,

00:57:43

bloodsuckers drink our grandfather, protect okay, you better

00:57:46

that Len Danil Danil returned three

00:57:49

days early from a business trip, one in the morning

00:57:51

calls home Lucy’s wife opens the door,

00:57:54

all in war paint, manicure,

00:57:58

lace underwear, wig and it doesn’t burn, Lucy

00:58:04

they deleted it in plain text and for

00:58:08

whom did you

00:58:10

see it like that now it’s night I she says well since

00:58:16

you’re the first it means for you

00:58:20

[applause]

00:58:27

girls and from the second entrance

00:58:30

he lives with his no he won’t live and they answer her

00:58:33

how do they know and how does his black eye

00:58:35

get full and for what black eye, how come her

00:58:40

husband Lyoshka went

00:58:42

hunting, he went and looked for boots, he couldn’t

00:58:45

find it, it’s on fire, gay, my boots, Galya, where are

00:58:48

the boots, she says, she took them to the place of

00:58:51

the hunt, Decembrist Street, house 5, apartment 6,

00:58:57

she’s an intellectual herself,

00:58:59

but there’s no problem with these guys, well,

00:59:01

bloodsuckers are

00:59:02

worse than drinking walruses our blood, grandfather like you, we

00:59:05

still have mosquitoes of divisions, we have a supply,

00:59:08

he godfather went to the dealer in the north, comfort,

00:59:13

mosquitoes, so the helicopters are sitting, burning,

00:59:17

men are celebrating the day of the northerner, the grandmother is

00:59:19

alone, and when he submits angeles, we are celebrating

00:59:27

day 7, we really drink, and the mosquitoes drink our blood at the same time,

00:59:32

but he couldn’t stand it but in the north there is a new

00:59:34

man from the guys and close the window from the

00:59:38

canary they already got him they answer

00:59:40

they closed it already they open it

00:59:44

but suddenly a jeep drove up, the door opened and the

00:59:48

most fashionable girl of

00:59:51

the entrance

00:59:52

20-year-old Lucia came out of the jeep and she, passing by, suddenly

00:59:56

turned sharply 90 degrees to sit

00:59:58

silently until I passed

01:00:03

and you Grandfather Ignatius

01:00:09

the last warning I am at home read on

01:00:13

Catholic did not leave in a jeep your mouth do not

01:00:15

open

01:00:16

the eccentric and I, like not you, you all the time the

01:00:19

pike went free to as far as possible pike

01:00:21

pike throughout the yard pike and pike yes as much as

01:00:24

possible grandmothers, daughter, you forgive his

01:00:26

old man, he can’t pronounce the letters s,

01:00:37

they didn’t manage to pronounce it completely

01:00:39

because suddenly it started to rain and the whole

01:00:42

bench fled, and after half an hour a

01:00:44

completely different

01:00:46

contingent of men with dominoes with beer and

01:00:49

vodka appeared on the bench, but that’s, excuse me, a completely

01:00:51

different story

01:00:53

[applause]

01:01:06

what is modern business? It can be

01:01:10

described as creating a problem, solving a

01:01:13

problem, living off the difference, I

01:01:15

remember in my monologue the hero said

01:01:18

it’s time to start a business,

01:01:19

I take out a loan from a bank for a billion dollars,

01:01:22

I buy this bank and allow myself not to

01:01:26

repay the loan, that’s it, I’m an oligarch, you know what an

01:01:30

apartment looks like an oligarch

01:01:32

is when there is an aquarium in the room and a

01:01:36

hippopotamus swims in it and all this is not

01:01:38

striking, but in fairness,

01:01:41

let’s say in order to succeed in

01:01:43

business you need to concentrate so much on

01:01:47

work that you won’t notice

01:01:50

this hippopotamus in the aquarium at all, you can become

01:01:53

so absorbed in work that

01:01:55

you won’t even have an idea what’s going on in your

01:01:57

house, it doesn’t look the same and

01:02:01

do you even have children, we’re calling him, he’s not a

01:02:11

businessman, he sits at the computer all day, he does

01:02:13

n’t pay any attention to me

01:02:16

at all, they don’t listen to me, the doctor, the

01:02:19

psychoanalyst, explained to me your husband left

01:02:22

himself his you need to lure him out of there, how can

01:02:26

you lure him out of there

01:02:27

like a turtle says from the shell,

01:02:30

well, I’ll go and try how you can get him out of there,

01:02:32

hey, let’s

01:02:42

sniff, let’s sniff, branded with a curse,

01:02:51

don’t get up,

01:02:55

you go home, api fashion houses,

01:03:13

and you’re so cold,

01:03:17

what kind of solid body are they really

01:03:22

cold, what is it

01:03:48

[applause ]

01:03:53

I thought it was raining

01:04:03

hello daddy my daughter grew up

01:04:13

so exhausted I guess there are

01:04:18

only two boys

01:04:22

grandpa

01:04:25

why do you need a granddaughter what kind of granddaughter do you need

01:04:30

I’m already a grandmother for the fifth year

01:04:36

how time flies quickly my

01:04:40

granddaughter became a grandmother and who am I then

01:04:48

and fate asked about my wife also ask about her I guess the

01:04:52

planet carefully

01:05:00

hello hello,

01:05:03

it's me, my wife, hello, I haven't yet recognized the

01:05:11

muscles on the same bed with whom

01:05:17

the ears and who allowed you and him to sleep on

01:05:20

my bed,

01:05:25

so you are my beloved husband,

01:05:32

interesting 3d and I saw

01:05:37

what you need,

01:05:39

not only your husband, you father yes I am the father of an

01:05:44

industrial commercial holding q

01:05:47

Coyle Doyle a Poylo 5 our child and he’s

01:05:53

calling you to school tomorrow I’ve already been to

01:05:57

school with my daughters don’t fool me I’m

01:05:58

full of work my daughter has. five years since I married a

01:06:02

man like him,

01:06:08

but not a woman, why did she ask my

01:06:12

permission? She

01:06:14

also asked, I said, you said, to get married before that,

01:06:16

so they want to accept the fact with swords,

01:06:19

she waited, if I have

01:06:22

a child, which child is in it was

01:06:24

how he got there with the wind,

01:06:27

I told you to close the windows, my

01:06:33

granddaughter will grow up and I’ll tell my granddaughter

01:06:38

what they called her and I suggested calling her a

01:06:40

mortgage, I forgot and remember what my

01:06:45

name is, she asked how I remember now,

01:07:13

of course, or

01:07:20

tell me the letter

01:07:27

and and well and it doesn’t give anything,

01:07:35

even the hall’s hint won’t help, and the

01:07:39

second letter says what, I say, you

01:07:43

say that it gives an infection to the pattern, not

01:07:54

already inflation, Boris, we’ll know each other,

01:08:02

hello, daughter, whose last name I took, did

01:08:05

I find it or this one for our husband,

01:08:10

well done, what’s our last name

01:08:15

debts he with such a surname the rain will not

01:08:18

disappear

01:08:20

oh nightmare I don’t need to worry Galya everything is

01:08:26

fine

01:08:27

tanechka I remember everything

01:08:31

Luda family is sacred and we must remember about the

01:08:35

family because

01:08:37

Natasha you know when not to remember about you is

01:08:40

bad

01:08:41

glafira family is sacred tell us what

01:08:45

we have in We're

01:08:48

laying out organs for the police family, well, in our family, my

01:08:52

mother changed her place of residence, they

01:08:56

stingily led me to just

01:09:03

simply moved from one house to another

01:09:05

because she doesn't sit in the house, this is the

01:09:12

first time I've heard that they imprisoned whole

01:09:14

houses

01:09:18

of fanaticism, what leave my mother alone,

01:09:22

tell me and you'll go to school tomorrow listen,

01:09:26

don’t fool me, I was already good luck at

01:09:28

school, my daughter got married, Mickey got married.

01:09:30

where does your daughter call you at school for your

01:09:33

son gas comes out I tweakui 15 years old your

01:09:41

son yesterday disrupted an English lesson

01:09:43

during a breed lesson students in the sauna and

01:09:48

now the director calls you to help or

01:09:52

something in my eyes

01:09:55

I’ll explain everything to you now before

01:09:58

the director called the mother

01:10:03

whose mother well me his mother his mother

01:10:13

called you

01:10:15

both altars at once from you and his mother his mother

01:10:26

I am and theirs I am the mother here and who is not the mother well

01:10:33

not the model who you know better since you are the mother of the

01:10:38

new frame I am the mother the mother must ask

01:10:43

your mother my mother should thanks to whom

01:10:49

you are the mother of someone not the mother why is this my

01:10:51

mother of the year thanks to this and the mother since I am the

01:10:53

mother then who are they the mother of the stage grandmother

01:11:00

everyone you will go to school tomorrow the director

01:11:03

wants to see the father of our child

01:11:09

and he is there my father of our child

01:11:17

if you go what will happen yes okay,

01:11:24

I’ll go let’s meet, maybe it works, who

01:11:28

knows when we’ll see each other again

01:11:31

[music]

01:11:36

[applause]

01:11:40

[music]

01:11:44

[applause]

01:11:51

musical humor sticks signals theft

01:11:54

Alla our genre

01:11:55

I must say that we always paid

01:12:00

great attention to her maestro

01:12:07

that Gazprom is the property of the people, I assure us all the

01:12:13

property of the people Gazprom sounds from everywhere I

01:12:19

doubted I immediately put gas on the share for me in the

01:12:23

ball my share please get it right now

01:12:30

[music]

01:12:34

popr games itching latina and they think

01:12:40

that the coolest in the world is the corotun and

01:12:46

look at the shame what a bald spot

01:12:53

the beaver didn’t understand that he didn’t gnaw maybe you're

01:12:58

standing there for nothing, swinging

01:13:06

from the pole, the

01:13:10

girl at home is sighing so much

01:13:18

that the blush lasts until

01:13:25

but you're rubbing iron in vain, you'll

01:13:35

have to pay for travel on the trams

01:13:46

[applause]

01:13:47

[music]

01:13:51

food can do everything now, they can do

01:13:56

such miracles with them, and the rolls don't get stale for a week the

01:14:04

month doesn’t turn green sausage

01:14:08

for lovely ladies for lovely ladies our cake is

01:14:11

fresh beyond its years and so on the stove why red

01:14:15

that it’s time to at least a whole

01:14:17

roll without a refrigerator will easily last for

01:14:21

thousands of years and how long will we last a

01:14:24

big secret in one word universities for

01:14:29

humor have begun to save almost everything on

01:14:33

everyone on oil and bread on coal on songs

01:14:36

on the cinema and I decided to sing for my purchase too

01:14:42

the icon

01:14:46

[music]

01:14:48

is ready to do everything in full the government

01:14:51

for us sometimes adds salaries and pensions to us,

01:14:56

but it’s high time we understood this strange game

01:14:59

as they will add 10 rubles more for us all in 3

01:15:03

times

01:15:08

freedom of speech has been given to us and it’s no secret

01:15:11

that it’s been dizzying for many years, but

01:15:15

remember, I mean

01:15:17

it, but also the soul, if you blurt out something, I won’t

01:15:20

fall,

01:15:21

they can give it to Pasha

01:15:24

[music]

01:15:26

watch our TV and you won’t sleep at night

01:15:29

robbery violence blackmail murder and

01:15:33

robbery of blood is a dime a dozen,

01:15:36

but maybe this is all for beginners to the gang, a

01:15:40

visual ambassador

01:15:43

[music]

01:15:46

to lose weight, my wife rode horseback for a whole

01:15:49

year and I asked in the evening, how is the

01:15:52

process going, my wife, looking down,

01:15:55

inhaling slightly, in theory, I said, I’m not yet a

01:15:59

lie in the campaign,

01:16:04

we’re in crisis asks for a nose like yours, but

01:16:08

you can’t retreat and it’s not like that on Vika, we saw friends,

01:16:12

at least a little scary, but it’s easy for me to

01:16:16

sing verses in their style, he performed your [ __ ]

01:16:22

numbers [

01:16:23

music]

01:16:25

[applause] [

01:16:26

music]

01:16:30

diva

01:16:31

[applause]

01:16:32

[music]

01:16:42

[music]

01:16:47

one of the most striking techniques of the comic

01:16:51

is the reworking of a generally known

01:16:53

plot in a modern way,

01:16:56

and mixing ancient events with

01:16:59

modern realities, mixing

01:17:01

the vocabulary of heroes bag +

01:17:03

hedgehog with a snake balalaika with a piano giraffes with a

01:17:07

turtle, this is how I would say if

01:17:10

you cross a parrot with a toad, what will happen is

01:17:14

push-up or toad pop now you see it’s

01:17:18

funny what the

01:17:20

comedians in this area haven’t told Cinderella was in a hurry

01:17:23

to the ball it was five minutes to eleven

01:17:26

just frisky horses were rushing at full speed but

01:17:30

suddenly they turned into rats the coachman into a

01:17:32

mouse the golden carriage into a pumpkin

01:17:34

this is some smart guy flight hours during the

01:17:38

summer time, you know, what happened is that the

01:17:41

prince saw Cinderella at the ball and

01:17:45

couldn’t take his eyes off her all evening,

01:17:48

he tells about his son, and the son

01:17:51

asks dad, why does the prince need Cinderella’s

01:17:54

eye, that’s how

01:17:57

modern children think about Little Red Riding

01:18:01

Hood, she has a gray fur coat,

01:18:07

and aren’t you afraid? walking through the forest late at night,

01:18:11

why be afraid, I know the way, I know sex, I

01:18:15

love something, I thought, how well

01:18:19

could the fate of the gray wolf have turned out if

01:18:22

he hadn’t spoken in the forest with a stranger in a

01:18:26

red cap,

01:18:29

just as we weren’t commenting on

01:18:32

famous fairy tales and there was Scheherazade we have the

01:18:36

most dynamic woman and she’s got a man for

01:18:39

a thousand and one nights telling him

01:18:42

fairy tales and puss in boots performing

01:18:45

modern feats

01:18:46

ponytail what is this strange

01:18:49

picture of puss in boots boots I see and where is the

01:18:51

cop and you’ll choke on it, well, it’s a sin

01:18:56

today of times and different realities we

01:18:59

even found among the Indians with their long

01:19:02

names an Indian comes to the

01:19:04

passport office I want to change the name

01:19:07

why is it very long large snouts and a

01:19:10

wild eagle falling like a stone from the sky and

01:19:13

what new name did you choose scat or

01:19:18

splash

01:19:19

maybe shpak or

01:19:33

and

01:19:34

[music]

01:19:39

[music]

01:19:49

[music]

01:19:53

[applause]

01:20:03

hello with

01:20:04

a mark a sheep shooting in delirium I

01:20:10

welcome you a shaman named a stupid

01:20:13

penguin who got to the robe a farm laborer

01:20:18

health

01:20:19

even without crawling well come on why are

01:20:25

you shouting today is a weekend paradise

01:20:27

so yeah yeah but now look at our

01:20:35

sundial

01:20:36

well yeah you forget it’s

01:20:52

fifteen minutes to six minutes

01:20:57

to 13 you have to leave by 2 minutes behind

01:20:59

victory,

01:21:01

so

01:21:03

go away why are you shouting alone happened I did

01:21:11

n’t say that no trouble, trouble

01:21:18

[music]

01:21:23

[applause] [music] Shcherban [

01:21:46

music]

01:21:53

[applause]

01:21:57

sits down so we are the

01:22:02

red-skinned brothers problem

01:22:06

cattle breeders filter with pathfinders

01:22:10

workers scalp manufacturing

01:22:13

industry and you Karen I have gathered

01:22:23

to tell you the most unpleasant

01:22:25

news and it’s night I can’t

01:22:30

say it, our

01:22:34

leader

01:22:38

the leader of the Apache tribe Chingachgook will tell you better

01:22:45

[music]

01:23:03

what’s there and

01:23:06

listen from here you can’t decide

01:23:14

apache and a bunch of jocks a big giraffe am

01:23:23

oh-oh-oh

01:23:30

[applause]

01:23:34

better

01:23:37

and a bottle of rum

01:23:41

advice comrade

01:23:49

well, an aquarium with a carpet is

01:23:58

missing only your daughter cross

01:24:01

on the torso what dare and when you start like and

01:24:13

unless I’m sitting what I ask

01:24:20

about my sons the soul of the big

01:24:24

giraffe is full of sadness and pain and the dark clouds are

01:24:29

floating so winter patches with thunder my best of

01:24:34

galloping across the prairie eel storm will soon break out a

01:24:40

storm haze sky

01:24:44

heroes from them and with whom the big brake was talking

01:24:56

another one from the frame that the truth spa body

01:24:58

report with

01:25:01

the mark sheep how you talk to

01:25:04

the leader this is for you he is your husband let's put it in

01:25:13

normal human language good in

01:25:15

short bros of the big apple tree

01:25:24

the West is indignant kapets creeps up unnoticed in

01:25:28

short I swear that a mohawk will grow on my forehead

01:25:34

[music]

01:25:35

[applause]

01:25:39

just tell it happened

01:25:43

guys we have a big problem, both slabs

01:25:47

face they want to check us our

01:25:49

territory they want to build a

01:25:52

road on the earth and I always said don’t expect

01:25:57

good things under the fourth transport

01:25:59

ring

01:26:01

[music]

01:26:03

[applause]

01:26:05

she is always on time then with a dress this is

01:26:09

the land of our ancestors my five lame

01:26:13

hare 200 years I grew here at the hatch

01:26:16

sultanas successes you want and be silent and white

01:26:22

coyote power cabbage soup Pandaren and I’m turning

01:26:29

to you oh creepy eat stoned to death

01:26:34

you know the language of animals from mushrooms and

01:26:38

steam locomotives tell me what our younger brothers say

01:26:48

recently a golden eagle sent me a sign right on my

01:26:52

head then a hare came running the white squirrel

01:26:58

whispered that it was time to change, and yesterday

01:27:05

the squirrel came and said that it was time to stop,

01:27:13

let’s do it, my great leader, we declare

01:27:18

war, shave our faces in the 10th, in the same place as the

01:27:28

candy, we don’t have a volume there for me, it’s

01:27:34

on knock knock, and someone

01:27:38

then agni where are the specific checks from

01:27:43

dig the hatchet of war

01:27:45

but we don’t have war goods and where is it we

01:27:48

exchanged it Nathan there I’m also where

01:27:51

youtube is here

01:27:57

my future take Tamagotchi tomahawks

01:28:05

and dead people we don’t have for her

01:28:15

[applause]

01:28:17

vector wig wam

01:28:20

exactly like that we are not human, you are a poor

01:28:24

people, we don’t know how to fight, then we need to

01:28:27

get out of here, can we take the capital, they say

01:28:31

there are different tribes of Iroquois

01:28:34

Sushumna Cheyenne Moldovans living in the world madican,

01:28:39

what do you say about the stupid suffix conceived

01:28:43

butts,

01:28:48

maybe let’s go to a disco

01:28:51

[applause]

01:28:53

I’ll show you how to drag this right topic I

01:28:57

instilled solutions all urgently packing things and

01:29:03

galloping alkis and

01:29:10

squirrels not on the award and

01:29:14

[applause] we didn’t

01:29:17

teach

01:29:20

nearby Lake Titicaca

01:29:24

buy id cation yy yyyy glasses

01:29:27

in short, we’re all packing our suitcases and the essence of the

01:29:35

driver is Moscow

01:29:38

money, I

01:29:41

assure you it’s a

01:29:50

pity steel suitcase

01:29:58

[ music]

01:30:02

ball round

01:30:09

[music]

01:30:14

1 pair

01:30:19

[music]

01:30:25

one way ticket you would

01:30:38

[applause]

01:30:41

[music]

01:30:46

section retro variety of humor humor

01:30:51

humor makes us travel through

01:30:53

time in space

01:30:55

someone said if reality makes you

01:30:58

laugh comedians become chroniclers

01:31:01

often when I watch

01:31:04

I remember my old numbers this phrase this is a

01:31:07

retro direction I named what I did

01:31:10

n’t do on the stage

01:31:12

but I didn’t do anything I performed people people

01:31:19

say when you visited each other

01:31:22

went books read letters to each other

01:31:26

wrote a lot of beautiful enviable words in these

01:31:28

letters there were some some of them even

01:31:30

gave up and now

01:31:31

what do you have to publish a telephone

01:31:35

conversation about what one housewife is talking

01:31:38

on the phone only after working for 3-4 hours

01:31:40

such nonsense will not carry away

01:31:42

the membranes are collapsing we listened to the glacier

01:31:46

coming back in 2000 will be at the

01:31:49

Pushkinskaya metro station

01:31:50

and in response did you hear that the snowman

01:31:53

married the snowwoman and all this nonsense

01:31:57

I have to pass on from morning to evening the

01:32:00

hostess will hang up the granny for me the

01:32:02

goal is not Krishna heard

01:32:04

yesterday at Valery Leontyev’s concert from

01:32:06

head to toe with flowers they threw flowers in

01:32:07

pots there grandpas here he’ll lose

01:32:12

I heard that a new version of the Rubik's cube was invented, in

01:32:14

the shape of a ball, it's called a ball to the

01:32:16

river

01:32:19

wap the family got in, yes, my other colleagues

01:32:21

in the distribution ended up in

01:32:23

production ministries, probably doing

01:32:25

interesting things, what am I

01:32:27

needed for, why am I needed, so that through me

01:32:29

people can fool each other, some kind of joker

01:32:32

at all posted advertisements on the pillars for anyone to

01:32:34

sign up for a French bedroom

01:32:36

set called St. Bartholomew's

01:32:38

Night to call from three to four in the morning and

01:32:42

my number was assigned to find my

01:32:47

owner himself when you woke up at three in the

01:32:49

morning with a question: could you

01:32:50

arrange for me St. Bartholomew's Night and not

01:32:56

only St. Bartholomew's Night on and the morning of the

01:32:58

Streltsy execution he will hit me with a pipe on the

01:33:02

head and when he [ __ ] me 7 times with the same question

01:33:07

they woke up in his answer with decent

01:33:08

words only pretexts were in

01:33:10

and on again I got a pipe on the head on the heads

01:33:15

but what does that have to do with it but the most dangerous thing is

01:33:17

when the mistresses are with me on cook dinner in your hands

01:33:19

9 time reported boyar

01:33:21

married me immediately on the floor drops 15

01:33:25

times already dropped from he, too, your married they are

01:33:28

afraid but apparently the man is healthy

01:33:33

[applause]

01:33:37

listen to my command for the first and second,

01:33:43

pay off 1 2 1 2 1 toy

01:33:54

set aside

01:33:56

he said not to stand come on dui oball

01:34:05

and what is not on the list private dayak I

01:34:08

can’t know I don’t dui this year nikka

01:34:12

and an outfit out of turn Yakov 15 I’m almost a

01:34:21

commander’s education about shareholders three

01:34:26

outfits out of turn

01:34:29

ensign private Ivanov you can

01:34:31

apply I authorize this private fools

01:34:33

can’t pronounce the letter r

01:34:36

you tell us in the forehead they are recruiting idiots into the army,

01:34:40

well, come on, exchange all the

01:34:43

new ones, come on, maybe what will happen from the

01:34:48

very beginning on 1 2

01:34:52

calculate 1 password 1 2

01:35:02

from the delusional fools, he decided to mock in

01:35:06

no way a comrade ensign will allow it, they say,

01:35:11

so the patch bolt from the idiot is being recruited into the army

01:35:16

in silence and I am silent as if you will be silent, you are

01:35:24

talking about I will say 1 2

01:35:31

everywhere eras or something, but you will speak and you

01:35:36

understand the ordinary idiots of the year I am a cop, well,

01:35:41

you can see

01:35:43

from the very beginning on 1 2 whether it is about fools

01:35:47

on 5 calculate 1 2 1 2 5 6

01:36:04

and they became an ordinary but I

01:36:08

beak from a sparrow

01:36:11

why 6 we are growing little by little

01:36:16

also fools 5 one idiot in Varna is being

01:36:22

recruited by private Ivanov he 5 because

01:36:26

not 1 she

01:36:31

herself started

01:36:33

on 5 2

01:36:38

calculate 5 2 5 2

01:36:49

it’s a private but I’m the spirit from the motel

01:36:55

what’s wrong I can’t know comrade I

01:36:59

noticed everything with my finger intends to be a

01:37:03

little idiot bathroom rooms from the very

01:37:08

beginning

01:37:09

at 1 2

01:37:15

[applause]

01:37:17

consider

01:37:28

leaving who said first who said

01:37:32

this stupidity we are just ordinary

01:37:37

Siamese twins and what is

01:37:43

going on about Siamese twins command himself

01:37:57

read 20 points

01:38:11

troops push get out of the deck of

01:38:18

idiots

01:38:25

[music]

01:38:33

said that I'm I'm along the way

01:38:38

at the

01:38:42

family's like this I'm not an ordinary currency

01:38:48

Cleopatra the army is being

01:38:52

drafted into the army in the ass of the USA

01:39:03

[music]

01:39:17

such jokes a minute did you really

01:39:22

marry this millionaire for love yes it's

01:39:24

true I really really love

01:39:27

money there was an ad hanging at the entrance to the village club

01:39:31

years c all types of love with a

01:39:34

display of color slides

01:39:35

in the evening at the club the people were packed into a place where they couldn’t

01:39:38

breathe came out Yakov anyone who

01:39:41

are there really different new words I Western

01:39:43

values people shout slide come on

01:39:46

lecturer continue to

01:39:47

eat love from the full words of ice

01:39:50

come on I’m from comrade the love that is

01:39:52

above all this love for the homeland,

01:39:55

now let's see the slides, honey, you

01:40:00

love me, of course, and you can even die for

01:40:04

me, hello, and who will love you, who will be your

01:40:07

mother, and what is love, love, daughter, is

01:40:12

when a

01:40:13

drunk, unshaven goofball and you

01:40:16

call my sunshine, this joke is

01:40:21

closer to my understanding when I hear

01:40:25

the word your love I'm thirsty

01:40:29

one day I did just that a fine

01:40:44

summer day when in the field the wind

01:40:50

died down the grasshopper was playing the violin I'm composing

01:40:59

a new mother and the butterfly sat down in the rows

01:41:08

so beautiful so tender when their

01:41:14

eyes met she

01:41:17

whispered quietly she's flying with me

01:41:23

my grasshopper will be high it’s easy for us,

01:41:28

it’s easy,

01:41:30

just you outside

01:41:33

and let’s lift you up

01:41:34

with me from where

01:41:39

dreams live in the clouds, how the earth is beautiful from above,

01:41:44

you’ll see and the

01:41:47

theme of dreams live in the clouds, how the earth is

01:41:52

beautiful from above, will you see it, but

01:41:56

he’s almost not Lin

01:41:59

[music]

01:42:01

but about everything in the world forgot the

01:42:06

violinist grasshopper played

01:42:11

their best mother in life

01:42:13

and

01:42:14

their

01:42:15

what would it not be

01:42:20

magic all the strong love

01:42:23

and

01:42:26

sweet their music outside

01:42:30

and soared together they

01:42:32

[music]

01:43:10

well what can I say well what can I say it’s all

01:43:16

love like love

01:43:18

ah love and and to know and to give everything in order to

01:43:25

rise again

01:43:26

where

01:43:29

dreams live in the clouds, like the earth is beautiful from above, do

01:43:34

you know

01:43:37

where dreams live in the clouds,

01:43:40

like the earth is beautiful from above,

01:43:44

flowers

01:43:46

where dreams live in the clouds, like the

01:43:51

earth is beautiful from above,

01:43:55

you too will see

01:43:57

[music]

01:44:18

[applause]

01:44:20

[music]

01:44:32

and the careful faris of Francois de La Rochefoucauld

01:44:36

believed that it was better to take turns without being

01:44:38

happy than to die without laughing.

01:44:41

Let's hope that having been with us in

01:44:44

company all this time while the program was going on,

01:44:47

you found something funny for yourself

01:44:50

and maybe even something instructive,

01:44:52

I understand you can’t buy a mood in a store,

01:44:55

but they say that

01:44:57

ordinary purchases lift your spirits, and

01:45:01

someone noticed that it’s sad to part with a cheerful person;

01:45:04

we

01:45:07

’re parting, I hope not for long

01:45:10

[music]

Description:

Юмор! Юмор!! Юмор!!! Выпуск 39 Оформите подписку канала - https://www.youtube.com/user/PetrosyanLive?sub_confirmation=1 Плэйлист Большой бенефис - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3v1go9lDgZYkA_PKFKFo561 Плэйлист Большой бенефис: Миниатюры - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3sPYnzSGFsxZARsTekL9G4X Плэйлист "Страсти-мордасти" - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3tu85NzlzieiTl7JeCOLTVD Плэйлист Дураки мы все - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3sFMQcDbh1eysWs6mzxqxdE

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