Download "О чем молчат мужчины? / Владислав Эльц // Это не Фрейд"

"videoThumbnail О чем молчат мужчины? / Владислав Эльц // Это не Фрейд

0:00

«Это не Фрейд». Мужчины

1:00

Почему психология мужчин и женщин разная?

5:05

Как происходит психическое становление мужчины?

7:01

«Женщины не меркантильные, это иллюзия»

9:31

Про сценарии «отшельник» и «брошенный»

14:41

Кто виноват в плохих отношениях: женщина, мужчина или его мама

15:28

По каким причинам мужчина может уйти в себя?

16:50

Если мужчина в кризисе, какого поведения они ждут от женщин?

18:07

«Задача мужчины уметь справляться с внутренней тревожностью и истерикой»

22:45

Как мужчинам взаимодействовать со своим внутренним «я»?

25:07

Что делать женщине, если мужчина отказывается обсуждать свои проблемы?

29:18

Письмо от зрительницы

31:50

Может ли женщина спровоцировать уход мужчины в себя?

32:28

Письмо от зрительницы

34:12

Что делать мужчине, у которого каждая ссора — это развод?

35:28

А как быть другому типу мышления, для кого развод — это реально пойти развестись?

36:22

Чего боятся мужчины?

38:49

Рекомендации женщинам

Война «за свободу рабов»: почему Север победил // Зато честно

Война «за свободу рабов»: почему Север победил // Зато честно

Channel: RTVI Развлечения

Как работает астрология и что будет в 2023-м? / Светлана Драган

Как работает астрология и что будет в 2023-м? / Светлана Драган

Channel: RTVI Развлечения

Почему мы переедаем // Нам надо поговорить с Алексеем Ситниковым

Почему мы переедаем // Нам надо поговорить с Алексеем Ситниковым

Channel: RTVI Развлечения

Как инфоцыгане манипулируют нашим сознанием? Взгляд психолога // Нам надо поговорить

Как инфоцыгане манипулируют нашим сознанием? Взгляд психолога // Нам надо поговорить

Channel: RTVI Развлечения

Илья Плужников о влиянии психологии на физическое здоровье // Наука против

Илья Плужников о влиянии психологии на физическое здоровье // Наука против

Channel: RTVI Развлечения

Алексей Козырев: славянофилы, западники, сталинизм и национализм

Алексей Козырев: славянофилы, западники, сталинизм и национализм

Channel: RTVI Развлечения

это не фрейд

владислав эльц

психолог

психология

о чем молчат мужчны

мужчины

женщины

уход в себя

кризис среднего возраста

поддержка

понимание

обсуждение проблем

внутренние тревоги

внутренние истерики

страхи мужчин

отшельник

брошенный

виновник в отношениях

внутреннее я

провокации

манипуляции

развод

ссоры

рекомендации от психолога

андрей самарцев

rtvi

rtvi.com

rtvi news

канал rtvi

rtvi новости

международные новости

rtvi2

rtvi 2

rtvi two

rtvi entertainment

00:00:02

about everything, men are from Mars, women are

00:00:04

from Venus. These are completely different. Two worlds,

00:00:06

they need a translator. For what reasons

00:00:09

can a man withdraw into himself? Married,

00:00:12

withdrawn into himself; born, first child; withdrawn

00:00:15

into himself; second, withdrawn into himself; what

00:00:18

does a woman think? You’re not a man, where’s the man?

00:00:20

Let me watch football, it’s your

00:00:22

problem, but I’m fine

00:00:27

running away, an insensitive monster Who’s

00:00:30

to blame in a relationship Anyone

00:00:32

but me

00:00:33

[music]

00:00:40

Hello This is not Freud I’m Andrey

00:00:42

Samartsev today we’ll find out what men are silent about

00:00:45

and the psychologist will help us figure this out

00:00:47

Vlad Eltz hi Vlad hi Well,

00:00:51

it’s obvious that the psychology of men and women is

00:00:53

different As they say Men are from Mars,

00:00:55

women are from Venus Let’s figure out why

00:00:58

this happened Well, let’s try

00:01:00

I think because they were born

00:01:04

some men and some women that

00:01:07

genitals influence

00:01:09

our psyche I don’t think it’s just like that,

00:01:14

but in general, men and women in our

00:01:18

society have different tasks and

00:01:21

physiology, including of course the influence,

00:01:23

men have that same testosterone and there have

00:01:26

even been studies when a

00:01:30

woman was treated for some disease they gave

00:01:32

testosterone

00:01:33

and they began to want sex more and

00:01:38

then went not only about sex in

00:01:41

general. Yes, and then they went and talked about how

00:01:43

men generally live, it’s

00:01:47

called that is, roughly speaking to a

00:01:50

woman, when they judge men by themselves,

00:01:52

this is a big mistake, just like men do women

00:01:56

by themselves I think that these are two big

00:01:59

mistakes These languages are often very different and

00:02:01

If we talk about what men are silent about, from a

00:02:05

woman’s point of view they are

00:02:08

simply silent about everything and everyone doesn’t say anything, they

00:02:11

close down, they leave, they react inappropriately,

00:02:14

she wants to bring him into conversation, and

00:02:18

it seems to him that she is already blowing his mind.

00:02:21

This completely different Two worlds and this is an

00:02:24

interesting thing to explore We once

00:02:26

had such a moment when we

00:02:34

spoke at the radius of my colleague, a male psychologist, and talked about the relationship between

00:02:38

men and women, private radio we

00:02:40

spoke and for an hour there was not a single

00:02:43

call from women, only men called. What

00:02:47

did they say? Everything is

00:02:49

simple, everything is simple, as if it

00:02:53

were possible. That’s why they won’t be revealed, everything that

00:02:56

has boiled up

00:02:58

is very interesting because a man is

00:03:01

not allowed to show in our society, but the

00:03:03

feeling

00:03:05

that is legal for a man is

00:03:09

aggression, which he can show

00:03:11

openly, so when a man, a conflict

00:03:14

occurs in a family couple a woman

00:03:16

starts to get emotional about him, somehow it

00:03:19

often happens as if to bring

00:03:22

him up to talk about something else and

00:03:27

either poke him somewhere or

00:03:31

do something to provoke him somehow Yes, this is

00:03:33

also such a natural mechanism of

00:03:35

actually provoking a

00:03:36

man into this moment two, he has

00:03:40

two reactions. The first is to attack

00:03:44

because he can’t stand it mentally,

00:03:48

physically, to put him in his place

00:03:49

somehow, to put him in prison, to yell in some way,

00:03:52

that is, to show this

00:03:55

aggression. And the second option is to freeze him out

00:03:58

and just leave and some people just

00:04:03

start there, he just leaves and everything is silent and

00:04:06

for women, for women it is often unbearable.

00:04:08

It happens, but by the way, this is not about men and

00:04:11

women as this is not a physiological

00:04:13

process, so it can

00:04:17

be different in gender, for example, a woman may have a

00:04:21

male psyche and She behaves this way,

00:04:25

it’s amazing, she’s building a career

00:04:28

And he seems to want close contact and she

00:04:33

says Why do

00:04:34

I need this, this also happens, that

00:04:38

is, in our time everything is mixed up, but in

00:04:41

general we live in a time of such

00:04:44

globalization in all aspects and then that’s

00:04:48

when we 100 they put naked people

00:04:51

there and it’s clear exactly who is which man is which

00:04:53

woman? And when we start to understand the

00:04:56

psyche, everything is generally unclear and everything

00:04:59

starts to get mixed up, but there are some

00:05:01

things that you can rely on. For example,

00:05:03

if we take the mental development of a man,

00:05:06

then the first stage of

00:05:10

his development is cool to understand for some very

00:05:13

simple examples, for example in tribes in

00:05:17

some aborigines, aborigines of some, the

00:05:20

first stage of growing up for him to become a

00:05:23

man, there were all sorts of rituals, the

00:05:25

first moment he physiologically needs to be

00:05:29

taken from his mother physically directly and the men of the

00:05:32

tribe at some point at some then at

00:05:34

some age 13 14 years old When a

00:05:37

man had to become, according to their customs, the

00:05:39

men were stolen from him from his mother

00:05:43

and she didn’t see everything anymore for a certain

00:05:45

period of time, they took him away and the second stage of

00:05:48

this test began, for example,

00:05:50

tests for pain in some tribes of

00:05:52

men had to stick his hand in this but

00:05:56

fall in Leo fall in Lion Almost yes, that is,

00:05:59

there is

00:06:00

I don’t remember what this

00:06:03

insect is called but it bit a lot of it

00:06:05

It’s not fatal but causes

00:06:08

unbearable hellish pain and he had to

00:06:12

with men He stuck his hand sticks it

00:06:15

bites from the insect, he must

00:06:17

stand and dance with the men of the tribe all

00:06:21

this time, they support him, they are next

00:06:23

to him. Yes, they offer this shoulder,

00:06:25

but he must not utter any

00:06:27

sound. That is, he must survive all this

00:06:30

and then he is returned in captivity as a

00:06:34

man. he communicates with his mother not as a

00:06:37

mother, but as a woman,

00:06:39

and then he can choose a

00:06:42

woman for himself from this tribe A and In our

00:06:45

time, there are no such initiations, but

00:06:47

unfortunately there are none, if maybe there were

00:06:50

300,500 years ago, he must be healthy,

00:06:52

strong and get something now the brain

00:06:56

values a woman over a man and the ability

00:06:58

to earn money, well, naturally, as

00:07:00

a consequence, because it’s all about

00:07:02

safety, the woman is not mercantile,

00:07:04

it’s an illusion, it’s just secondary sexual

00:07:09

characteristics when a man drives an expensive car, he’s

00:07:12

good, he’s smart, he looks good, that

00:07:16

kind of thing. This means that he

00:07:18

has adapted perfectly. He cool It can survive,

00:07:21

which means her offspring will survive, he will be able to

00:07:24

provide for her child, he will be able to create

00:07:27

security in which she can

00:07:28

exist if this woman feels

00:07:31

the security of a man who does not have a

00:07:34

car,

00:07:35

then she will follow him if she

00:07:38

feels this

00:07:40

inner feeling Yes, but first of all men

00:07:43

must feel inside themselves Of course, that’s why

00:07:45

Yes, this is such a process and

00:07:49

when, for example, a man thinks that a

00:07:52

woman is blowing his mind or provoking him

00:07:54

to do something, in reality she says something

00:07:56

like this and man, where are you? Come on out, I have

00:08:02

n’t been my man for a long time I saw it

00:08:03

because she usually

00:08:05

shows it begins in those moments when

00:08:08

we regress, that is, we turn from a man

00:08:11

into a boy, a woman cannot

00:08:14

withstand all this fantasies about how

00:08:16

he should

00:08:18

feel sensitive to be there

00:08:20

then all this is nonsense. Honestly, here is a

00:08:23

woman who is talking about that that

00:08:25

a man should be somehow

00:08:28

sensual Yes, he should be

00:08:31

sensual, he should feel her That

00:08:33

is, he should show feminine qualities, an

00:08:35

interesting woman wants a man to

00:08:37

be an ideal woman,

00:08:40

so he should show some kind of Sensual Aspect,

00:08:43

but at the same time

00:08:48

he should have one nuance he is very calm,

00:08:52

he can show feelings, but he can’t,

00:08:55

but not emotions. Yes, in general, we hope that

00:08:59

today during the program you will

00:09:01

translate for us from female to male and

00:09:04

back

00:09:06

[music]

00:09:14

should a woman worry? If

00:09:17

a man, for example, goes on a business trip

00:09:20

and stops writing, you know often it happens

00:09:22

But at least I would write one SMS, he says

00:09:24

Well, I’m busy with business, I don’t have any time for

00:09:27

this, how to behave at this moment

00:09:30

[laughter]

00:09:32

you’re setting up to

00:09:34

give advice to someone on the Internet, especially

00:09:37

how to behave, it’s terrible in general, now

00:09:40

I’ll tell you how will she behave now? She wo

00:09:42

n’t be able to behave like this or he will

00:09:45

somehow react differently than I said and that’s

00:09:47

it Write is gone I’ll be to blame that

00:09:50

something wrong happened in their relationship

00:09:51

We won’t do that Let’s just

00:09:54

because that when a man needs to look at

00:09:57

each specific case, because

00:10:00

for example, in a relationship, a

00:10:02

scenario like this often plays out, and the hermit

00:10:05

and the abandoned

00:10:07

one are always alone, and this does not depend on

00:10:10

gender, once again I say more often that men are

00:10:13

hermits and women feel

00:10:15

abandoned, and in this case, most likely it’s like

00:10:17

that he often needs to go on a business trip

00:10:20

because it is very difficult for him

00:10:22

to be there in one place for a long time to stay

00:10:25

with her for a long time on VKontakte, for example, yes, or

00:10:28

to stay at home for a long time, for example, only he

00:10:31

needs this dynamic all the time, and

00:10:33

especially for men, business comes first,

00:10:37

he should be busy with his own business then

00:10:40

the family appears at some point The

00:10:43

first thing is that for women, on the contrary,

00:10:45

I’m talking about not everyone,

00:10:50

every individual case is different, sometimes for a

00:10:53

woman too. This is the most important thing for a

00:10:55

family, I don’t care at all now everything

00:10:57

is mixed up, I say again, but in the Classics

00:11:01

if we take such a classic psyche,

00:11:03

a man is important,

00:11:05

then the family comes, but for women, on the contrary,

00:11:09

family and then realization. You understand

00:11:13

what kind of thoughts are spinning in her head.

00:11:15

He’s probably out there with his [ __ ]

00:11:16

somewhere in the bathhouses, which means he’s hanging around in the baths. And I’m

00:11:20

sitting here waiting for him and he’s waiting for me he can’t even

00:11:23

write anything Yes, he’s abandoned,

00:11:26

he betrayed me, this fantasy

00:11:28

of betrayal is abandonment, he

00:11:31

becomes a hermit and abandoned

00:11:33

Let’s tell you about this scenario, a

00:11:35

hermit is someone who

00:11:37

constantly moves away during any conflict, stress,

00:11:42

he closes himself in the room, he

00:11:46

leaves, he

00:11:48

stops responding, or for example after

00:11:52

meeting

00:11:53

someone

00:11:55

abandoned this one like this will

00:11:58

write messages the hermit will write

00:12:00

OK ok hello

00:12:03

So it’s as if everything is clear to

00:12:07

him I feel like you’re not telling me that I

00:12:09

love you Give 15 years ago he said that these

00:12:12

people don’t want something everything is clear, I

00:12:14

made a choice, you want something from me, but the

00:12:17

abandoned one always needs confirmation

00:12:19

that VKontakte is with him, he always

00:12:22

needs him to be in touch, and in this

00:12:25

case they need to agree,

00:12:27

she needs to Realize that she is fighting,

00:12:31

that it is her fear that she will be betrayed Why

00:12:33

I don’t know, we need to dig already, but he needs

00:12:36

to understand that he is avoiding contact,

00:12:39

they need to agree to create

00:12:42

security in the couple, but agreeing is not

00:12:44

in a conflict, so you don’t write to me. Like a

00:12:47

bastard, you’re cheating, it’s not

00:12:49

hysterical to not agree, but to agree

00:12:54

when both are in the resource, just

00:12:56

say Listen, can you give me so much

00:12:58

anxiety, I’m worried, just write to me every

00:13:03

three hours

00:13:04

Hello,

00:13:06

this is a fairly pure

00:13:09

agreement, she will receive support and he

00:13:12

will also receive support, in fact, that he does

00:13:14

not need to do anything more. She will be

00:13:16

calm, she will receive an ax that everything is in

00:13:18

he doesn’t give it any order, and then

00:13:21

it turns out to be such an interesting story, as

00:13:25

soon as a conflict happens, it

00:13:28

seems to the woman that the man is withdrawing into himself,

00:13:30

moving away And what is she doing, she’s trying to

00:13:34

pull him out even further,

00:13:38

he leaves altogether,

00:13:42

I don’t work like that, someone has to

00:13:44

stop so that he comes back. here

00:13:47

you need to stop and problems in the

00:13:50

conflict Why is it that a woman can’t

00:13:54

stop And a man can’t

00:13:57

stand it and turn around A man

00:14:00

can’t stand a woman’s emotion of hysteria

00:14:03

Be directly with him on VKontakte It’s

00:14:05

very difficult for him to calm her down He immediately starts

00:14:07

to close down or become aggressive or

00:14:09

leave I said But she’s a woman can’t

00:14:14

stop straight carrying How a child

00:14:17

is driven away emotionally

00:14:19

but there is no foot

00:14:21

and she is no longer an adult she is a

00:14:24

girl at this moment who needs a dad

00:14:26

who will calm down who is to blame in the

00:14:29

relationship Anyone but me

00:14:31

specifically he or she if I have

00:14:35

a relationship with him then Navaton

00:14:37

But only sometimes his mother may be to blame,

00:14:40

maybe, but it’s her who

00:14:43

builds relationships with her incorrectly, but

00:14:45

sometimes there is such a transference, yes it happens

00:14:47

that if I had his mother, our relationship

00:14:49

would be ideal Oh well, if not his

00:14:52

mother, you would be his mother,

00:14:54

the energy is nowhere goes away like physics,

00:14:58

energy doesn’t disappear anywhere, it

00:15:00

simply goes into another form and if, for example, there is a

00:15:03

love triangle, then the mistress

00:15:06

plays a certain role, she

00:15:08

fantasizes that he will leave her wife

00:15:10

and come to her. Of course he will leave his wife, he

00:15:13

will come to her, but he will need a

00:15:14

mistress,

00:15:16

energy will go nowhere. doesn’t go away,

00:15:18

it will always repeat itself until

00:15:21

these processes within themselves are resolved. For what

00:15:23

reasons can a man withdraw into

00:15:26

himself?

00:15:27

Yes, for many reasons. Well, that is, for example, any

00:15:31

crises. Well, I’m talking about any stress or

00:15:34

crisis. That is, it’s just

00:15:36

digested differently; we’re not used to expressing

00:15:38

emotions. we can’t share the male

00:15:40

world with our feelings very rarely we with

00:15:44

friends but with the men we go fishing laugh

00:15:45

laugh even at the pain at our

00:15:48

own but we can’t very rarely we can

00:15:51

sit down with my comrade to look Listen to

00:15:54

me it sucks I feel like this and it hurts me like

00:15:57

this I can’t stand it at all, it’s just

00:15:59

something really [ __ ] up But my soul is very heavy

00:16:03

and we can’t cry, we have all this

00:16:06

accumulating inside but that doesn’t mean that

00:16:08

it’s not there the man is crying something like this

00:16:13

I’m crying like that I can’t give out tears

00:16:16

but inside I feel very bad it’s inside

00:16:19

Accumulating Accumulating Accumulating and at some

00:16:21

point it slams and then it turns out

00:16:24

I’m leaving myself I can walk away from any

00:16:27

crisis got married left myself born first

00:16:32

child left myself second left myself

00:16:35

something else at work business fell apart

00:16:38

left myself Any question conflict

00:16:41

she also left herself with her wife, so what then do

00:16:45

men expect from women at this moment?

00:16:47

What kind of behavior is it?

00:16:49

Good question for her to become a mother.

00:16:54

In what specific actions should this be manifested?

00:16:56

Such care is already

00:17:00

regressing at this moment. That is, he

00:17:02

actually becomes he when he

00:17:04

slams shut. he cannot cope with

00:17:06

his emotional experiences and

00:17:08

he needs such external support, but he

00:17:11

cannot ask for it because he

00:17:13

will be weak then, but then he becomes weak. Well,

00:17:16

some people go there on a binge, it

00:17:18

discharges this energy, I had one

00:17:20

client who once a month for two days for some reason

00:17:22

he went on a binge, this is his way of

00:17:25

coping with what is happening in life

00:17:27

because he is strong, he owns a large

00:17:30

company, he is generally just not

00:17:32

emotional, he is a normal guy. That’s a

00:17:35

real guy who has a Land Cruiser there,

00:17:39

everything is as it should be,

00:17:42

but for two days binge drinking a month is its price

00:17:45

Listen, well, a woman is also not a telepath

00:17:48

to understand that Yeah, now I

00:17:50

need to do this if it’s not said with my mouth

00:17:52

that I need your care and

00:17:54

how But it’s hard, it’s difficult, so she starts

00:17:57

probably this is what

00:17:59

happened, come on let's talk about what's

00:18:02

wrong with me Maybe I offended you with something,

00:18:04

yes it's true, but every

00:18:06

man has a woman inside, this is some kind of

00:18:10

feminine part of us, there's

00:18:13

literature, it's called femininity, it's called this

00:18:16

feminine energy, it's

00:18:18

formed

00:18:20

through the mother through some key

00:18:23

women who were in our lives and in

00:18:27

general, as a man’s task in his life,

00:18:29

learn

00:18:30

to interact with this inner

00:18:32

woman and in general, a reflection of

00:18:36

his inner This is how he copes with

00:18:38

his inner woman, this is his

00:18:40

real woman,

00:18:42

for example,

00:18:44

at first a man at some stage may

00:18:47

like

00:18:48

very beautiful a sexy woman is very

00:18:52

there with expressed sexuality, then at

00:18:55

some point he understands that with such

00:18:56

people he can have a great time, for example, but it is

00:19:00

very difficult to create a family, his

00:19:02

inner woman changes and we begin to

00:19:04

like calmer women

00:19:06

who can be trusted, for example, with

00:19:09

whom he can build a family

00:19:10

life. begins to choose people like him,

00:19:12

begins to build a family life by the

00:19:15

age of 40, he has a crisis

00:19:19

and he begins to like some

00:19:22

woman,

00:19:25

but he wants to compensate. There, for

00:19:27

example, 20-25 years. You just need to get over it, it’s

00:19:30

important not to act out, that is, not to go into

00:19:33

this prank, this betrayal because that

00:19:35

this is also an illusory thing And this is

00:19:38

inner femininity, an inner woman

00:19:40

with whom a man builds a lifelong

00:19:42

relationship in reality and during

00:19:44

a scandal. What actually happens

00:19:47

for a woman when a man yells at her in the

00:19:52

male world, it seems that I’m putting her in her

00:19:54

place. So

00:19:55

what? the woman thinks in hysterics, he’s

00:19:59

just hysterical Are you hysterical? She can

00:20:02

say so

00:20:04

and he’s actually hysterical. That is, he

00:20:07

cannot withstand his inner

00:20:08

feminine part. That is, he gets

00:20:11

emotional. That is, she

00:20:13

blows his mind, as he says,

00:20:16

he gets caught. in emotional involvement

00:20:18

the only reaction that is here

00:20:20

Perhaps this is aggression

00:20:22

and he is actually yelling to stop

00:20:24

it, but what is happening to him inside and

00:20:28

the task of a man is to be able to learn to cope with

00:20:31

this anxiety, fear,

00:20:34

internal hysteria without

00:20:39

this, too, a kind of hysteria

00:20:42

and this is when I I even

00:20:46

carried out such experiments within myself When in a

00:20:48

relationship

00:20:49

with my wife now and before this when a woman

00:20:53

begins to build up This

00:20:55

emotional

00:21:03

escape Yes Previously, at least there were garages

00:21:08

in the garage, but now for fishing You

00:21:11

have to wait, yes, once every six months, and well, either to

00:21:14

work or somewhere in business or on these

00:21:16

business trips,

00:21:18

then at this moment the hysteria

00:21:20

inside is happening. I noticed as soon as I

00:21:23

learn to stop and calm

00:21:27

myself inside,

00:21:29

it calms down in the outside world, it’s

00:21:33

amazing. That is, I can withstand just

00:21:35

my internal hysteria, I’m my feminine

00:21:38

part, which now he is hysterical, as

00:21:41

if he is shaking me, seducing me like a

00:21:45

siren,

00:21:46

the myth of the odyssey and lilacs are very suitable here as

00:21:51

a metaphor. Odysseus, to listen to the

00:21:54

siren, her seductive singing asked

00:21:58

his

00:21:59

comrades to tie him to a post because

00:22:03

he was going crazy. Everyone was going crazy, the

00:22:06

sirens, they dragged sailors to the bottom

00:22:10

there, well there, according to various myths, they could eat

00:22:13

or simply drown there, something like that,

00:22:16

but the task of a man is to tie himself to a

00:22:20

pillar to eros, the pillar as a metaphor is so

00:22:24

phallic, to tie himself to his

00:22:26

male part and calmly listen to the sirens of

00:22:31

internal or external ones, the wife is not to blame

00:22:34

here, the woman she feels, she just feels

00:22:37

you teaches how to interact with an

00:22:40

inner siren Well, then give me a

00:22:41

specific recommendation Here are the

00:22:43

movements you need to make in any

00:22:46

unforeseen situation you need to

00:22:48

stop stop say inside yourself

00:22:52

you can tell your wife or

00:22:55

explain to a woman wait But of course she doesn’t

00:22:58

know how to stop, most likely if she

00:23:00

can do it super You’re lucky she doesn’t know

00:23:04

how OK wait and I need 10 minutes

00:23:09

straight 10 minutes okay 10 minutes look

00:23:12

we’ll detect it’s just another room

00:23:14

it’s true and

00:23:16

restoring VKontakte is very difficult to

00:23:19

do, but at some point you need to

00:23:22

learn to stop stop talking

00:23:24

inside this hysteria and being in

00:23:27

contact already stop this hysteria it’s a

00:23:32

skill to stop to notice this

00:23:36

hysteria, to stop her,

00:23:39

to stop, to notice the hysteria,

00:23:41

to stop, to calm down this

00:23:43

part of yourself. So, then you get back into

00:23:46

contact and

00:23:48

then you have to look

00:23:50

depending on your woman. I think

00:23:53

that

00:23:55

when she calms down, she turns

00:23:59

from a siren into that very adequate one.

00:24:03

and now she’s not so scary

00:24:05

and now she can’t drag her to the bottom

00:24:08

of the sea

00:24:09

and then you can untie yourself from

00:24:13

discussing and talking about something, what her

00:24:15

needs are and try not to

00:24:18

devalue because when men

00:24:21

say that she blows her mind, this is

00:24:22

devaluation for It’s very important for women

00:24:26

to talk through these aspects, to actually

00:24:29

talk through something, to figure out something,

00:24:31

to arrange this logo.

00:24:34

Well, for women, it’s structured in such a way that it needs to be

00:24:38

explained like a dad explains to a girl,

00:24:41

dad is a guide to the logos, if a girl

00:24:44

had problems with her dad, then it’s very difficult

00:24:46

to build this thing and so you need to come to an

00:24:49

agreement with her directly talk through

00:24:50

there are different cases, but what if

00:24:53

a man flatly refuses

00:24:56

to discuss some problems What should a

00:24:59

woman do, he watched football so much better

00:25:02

Or is it your problem and everything is fine with me

00:25:06

then a woman needs to learn

00:25:09

to talk to her inner man

00:25:12

now I’ll try to explain how, of

00:25:15

course, there are problems in him. Of

00:25:18

course, this bastard doesn’t hear.

00:25:21

Of course, if he changed, your

00:25:23

attitude would become ideal,

00:25:25

but not ideal, of course. Well, at least

00:25:28

those towards the relationship that is in your

00:25:30

head and he is the reason that your

00:25:34

relationship is not such it is necessary to remove these

00:25:36

thoughts. It’s easy to say I agree, but first you

00:25:40

need to start noticing them,

00:25:42

and when you are

00:25:43

captured by this energy, you need to

00:25:46

return attention to yourself. She feels

00:25:49

that Well, as if he’s giving it, He does

00:25:51

n’t go somewhere with her, as if in some kind of... then contact is

00:25:54

some kind of closeness Yes, but it’s hard for him, he can’t, he has a

00:25:57

tumach, he can

00:26:00

sit like this for two years and change channels, this is his,

00:26:01

by the way, mentally important process

00:26:04

because at this moment not a single guy

00:26:07

watches TV,

00:26:08

he has a process going on,

00:26:12

he changes the channel What what are you doing, the wife

00:26:15

says and

00:26:17

I’m changing the channel There’s

00:26:19

no TV in this process at all,

00:26:22

at this moment it’s fishing,

00:26:24

at least throw one woman on a fishing trip

00:26:28

there, it’ll drive you crazy, it’s

00:26:31

just

00:26:32

unbearable for you to sit like that because he’s just

00:26:35

sitting there like that, okay She drew this

00:26:37

focus of attention to herself, caught these

00:26:40

thoughts with them next, what should she do next? She

00:26:43

just needs to mind her own business, that is,

00:26:45

learn to tell herself stop

00:26:47

what women often don’t know how to do, stop

00:26:50

saying stop borscht, this is

00:26:56

very difficult To say, I think I’m borscht

00:26:58

such a muscle By the way, this is ideal you

00:27:01

can wrinkle your face and say I’m borscht Imagine

00:27:04

as a man

00:27:07

that some woman is telling you

00:27:09

something I’m borscht

00:27:11

so you can feel

00:27:13

the surprise yes You’ll go nuts Oh well Can

00:27:18

I marry you right away because it’s like

00:27:22

something a man wants as if a

00:27:25

woman says Stop me man where are you?

00:27:29

Let's talk about this actually man where are

00:27:31

you put me in my place Stop

00:27:34

me Create my safety he says

00:27:37

I can't I'm fishing

00:27:40

and this is a terrible thing that's happening There's no way to

00:27:43

solve this issue here,

00:27:47

no way to solve it if she continues

00:27:50

to bomb him, he will continue to leave himself,

00:27:52

so you need to stop

00:27:55

and leave and when to return she needs to

00:27:58

learn to be a hermit,

00:28:01

that is, not an abandoned one, but a hermit, and she

00:28:04

needs to learn to return to herself and a

00:28:06

man is attracted to a woman who

00:28:08

gets pleasure, there is

00:28:10

no need for someone like that, something

00:28:13

has gone too far into him

00:28:17

you're bringing yourself back,

00:28:19

something I've wanted to do for a long time

00:28:22

but because of him I didn't go to the museum. I've

00:28:25

been waiting for him for six months to go to the

00:28:28

museum with him. I'll go to the museum with my girlfriend. A

00:28:32

day or two will pass, maybe the guy will

00:28:35

sit and change channels, there's still

00:28:37

pizza there. I don’t know what

00:28:40

he’s like, he’ll come back to earth and think,

00:28:45

Where is my woman

00:28:47

in the museum, what the [ __ ] museum?

00:28:51

So where are you? In order to learn how to

00:28:54

interact with a woman, he needs to

00:28:56

learn how to interact with his

00:28:58

emotions, then he’ll understand that she’s there. He

00:29:00

wants to not name this brain. But

00:29:03

she needs learn to be one,

00:29:05

stop and leave yourself and

00:29:08

do your fishing

00:29:10

for longer Vlad, we have a

00:29:12

very detailed letter from a viewer. Let's

00:29:13

try to give her some kind of recommendation.

00:29:16

Hello, I'm Dasha, I'm 28 years old, my husband is 30,

00:29:20

we've been married for two years, we have a daughter, when

00:29:23

we were friends everything was wonderful for us,

00:29:25

but at some point we stopped

00:29:27

understanding each other, we often quarreled

00:29:29

after the last quarrel, I decided that

00:29:31

that was all, but I found out that I was pregnant.

00:29:34

We got married, but the quarrels did not stop.

00:29:37

He says that I complain all the time, and I

00:29:40

try not to complain, but the dialogue hasn’t gotten better,

00:29:42

we don’t come home from

00:29:45

work, sit down at the table, I give him all the news,

00:29:47

everything, what did I do today and he is silent,

00:29:50

I ask how he is doing at work, in response he

00:29:52

says that he eats and cannot

00:29:54

eat and talk at the same time, then

00:29:57

lie down on the sofa and watches TV

00:29:59

If at this moment I want to talk about

00:30:01

our relationship, he answers, speak, I

00:30:04

listen And he watches TV or plays on

00:30:06

the computer, sometimes I get tired of telling him

00:30:09

what needs to be done around the house and I do it myself

00:30:11

if it’s in my power On weekends,

00:30:14

all we do is argue I suggest

00:30:16

we go somewhere, but he doesn’t want to,

00:30:19

every day the tension is growing, it’s not

00:30:21

very difficult for him, but today he said that he’s

00:30:24

not interested in me, what should I do? help, it’s time to

00:30:27

go to a family psychologist;

00:30:34

we get closer after a conflict, there

00:30:37

sex after a quarrel they say the best one, getting

00:30:39

closer as much as possible, then again

00:30:41

little by little we disperse, we

00:30:43

disperse, the conflict got closer,

00:30:45

we disperse, and sometimes we disperse, we disperse, the

00:30:48

conflict disperses, we disperse, the conflict

00:30:52

disperses, and from this distance it is already

00:30:55

very difficult to start returning without a

00:30:58

third person, they need an interpreter, they go to

00:31:02

divorce But if they can find these

00:31:05

resource places, remember And when it

00:31:08

was good for us

00:31:09

that we forgot Well, the birth of a child

00:31:12

is often a serious crisis in a couple

00:31:14

Well, in general, all pleasant events in life are

00:31:18

crises, there’s nothing wrong with them,

00:31:21

no, it’s a natural process but

00:31:24

they will simply raise a lot of Layers, and

00:31:26

here a lot of Layers have risen, you just

00:31:28

need to just learn, first of all, the

00:31:30

couple needs to find resources, see where

00:31:32

we have the resource, each guy has his own resources,

00:31:35

someone has a journey, maybe they are

00:31:37

too stuck in the roles of mom and dad, they

00:31:40

need remembering that they are men and

00:31:42

women Can a woman herself

00:31:45

provoke a man to withdraw into himself and

00:31:47

If so, then by what actions is also a

00:31:50

dangerous question because if I say

00:31:52

yes, all the men will say that’s why they

00:31:55

ask him,

00:31:58

no one is guilty, neither of the two is guilty,

00:32:02

everyone is guilty is his own Magpies It’s just that

00:32:04

everyone copes with this internal

00:32:07

meat grinder in their own way, man in their own

00:32:09

ways, woman in their own way and that’s all

00:32:13

[music] here’s

00:32:22

another letter from a viewer

00:32:24

named Sveta, she’s 25 years old. Hello, I

00:32:27

met a guy, I really

00:32:29

like him, but the thing is that I

00:32:31

I can’t get anything from him, he’s decisive but

00:32:34

very silent, we communicate. We just say

00:32:36

hello, how are you, what are you doing, that’s all, I

00:32:39

tell him some stories and in

00:32:41

response I hear only 24 words, I do

00:32:44

n’t hear any stories from him. I really want

00:32:46

to be together with him, but he is constantly silent

00:32:49

how to stir him up please help

00:32:52

Leave him alone I want to

00:32:56

It’s about the same thing Yes there are

00:32:59

extroverts there are introverts xtraver

00:33:02

writes This is a very cool letter

00:33:06

and you need a lot of communication so it’s not necessary

00:33:09

Three girlfriends to whom she will tell everything

00:33:13

and a guy with whom he will build

00:33:15

Relationships In general, the main advice is to get

00:33:18

behind him Yes, but now I’ll become bad

00:33:23

because how to get behind What does this mean And

00:33:26

how to be in a relationship then And how

00:33:28

to build intimacy Then then you

00:33:31

need to learn how to move into this intimacy

00:33:33

at his speed That is, he has speed

00:33:36

1 km/h And you have 100,

00:33:39

you need to slow down to three at least and

00:33:43

gradually over the course of 15 years of a relationship

00:33:46

you will synchronize a little closer to

00:33:49

each other Yes, there is a check, an emotional

00:33:51

extrovert, then every quarrel is a divorce for him.

00:33:55

I’m all going to get a divorce, but the person who is,

00:33:58

well, of a different type thinking, it’s

00:34:01

as if he said once a divorce is

00:34:04

really go for a divorce Well, let’s

00:34:07

look at the first first type for each one

00:34:09

Every quarrel is a divorce yes you

00:34:11

need to learn to stop

00:34:12

stop getting a divorce every time

00:34:15

and you need to understand follow the words of

00:34:17

the calypse No Now it’s just a quarrel

00:34:21

this is not the Apocalypse the world is not collapsing

00:34:26

everything will be fine Now now you

00:34:28

will calm down again make love

00:34:31

then I will say quarrel again because

00:34:34

apparently you two like to

00:34:35

be in such a relationship

00:34:37

Well there is no Apocalypse And as soon as this

00:34:40

Apocalypse decreases and here

00:34:42

the Apocalypse decreases and it

00:34:45

is safe for someone else to contact the same question

00:34:47

security, it’s not a man who makes

00:34:50

contact based on emotions, but a boy. Well,

00:34:53

some internal vulnerable part

00:34:54

that is not very Maybe scientifically

00:34:57

mature

00:35:00

maturity When I can be very different,

00:35:03

flexibility appears in me when I can

00:35:05

withstand my feelings be on VKontakte

00:35:08

with them, show them and this as if such an

00:35:11

Aspect is very important, but no one

00:35:13

has canceled our personality, which has its

00:35:15

own history of its trauma, its own beliefs, as it were,

00:35:17

its own environment in which we grew up. So what

00:35:19

about the second type who

00:35:22

says divorce once in a lifetime And

00:35:25

this will really happen Therefore the type

00:35:28

needs to learn to express himself, the same

00:35:31

thing, and the fact that there is one thought that we have been

00:35:34

talking about throughout the entire program, he needs to

00:35:37

learn

00:35:38

to move towards this chaos

00:35:41

that is approaching him in his wife, he

00:35:44

needs to go out there, learn there

00:35:46

little by little, it is also unsafe for him, it is

00:35:49

also difficult for him

00:35:51

and you need to understand that she’s really in

00:35:54

pain. We don’t understand that the other one is

00:35:57

really in pain, we think that he just

00:35:59

wants something, an

00:36:01

insensitive Monster. And the other one is

00:36:04

really in pain, each of them, if

00:36:06

we take all this away, there are two pains,

00:36:09

one copes with this pain like this to

00:36:12

withdraw into oneself and the other one copes with

00:36:14

this pain so as to try to

00:36:16

get to the other.

00:36:18

What men are afraid of

00:36:21

is the loss of male identity in different

00:36:24

forms. Well, impotence in prison is the

00:36:28

lowest. Caste is men who

00:36:29

have lost male identity; this is

00:36:33

crippled. For example, a man became

00:36:35

disabled not can provide for a family, these are

00:36:37

fears that for a man are higher than

00:36:40

death, that is, being not a man for

00:36:43

a man is like a fear stronger than death.

00:36:47

Listen, well, at the same time, you know, a lot of women

00:36:49

in a quarrel can say Yes, you’re

00:36:51

not a man at all. This is a provocation. She

00:36:54

says where is the man?

00:36:56

You’re not man, where is the man

00:36:59

for the man to come out and how to behave at

00:37:02

this moment, it’s good

00:37:06

what else is

00:37:08

calm sometimes

00:37:11

it’s impossible to stop this feminine

00:37:14

energy by screaming, this is her territory

00:37:18

when a man screams he becomes a

00:37:22

woman in a relationship one of the most

00:37:25

important things is sensitivity

00:37:29

This is sympathy when we are not we are fighting with

00:37:33

another and we are building intimacy and

00:37:35

Contact I was once a witness to a not

00:37:38

very pleasant scene just when on

00:37:41

the street After

00:37:43

the words loudly declared that you are not a man at all,

00:37:46

a man He just dragged him in

00:37:49

and somehow couldn’t cope Well, like he’s

00:37:54

probably thinking but I’ll tell you now I’ll show

00:37:55

the man there is no you But the only thing seems to be

00:38:00

that when morally a man has lost

00:38:03

the only way seems to be to

00:38:06

restore the status of the quota to prove

00:38:07

his physical superiority because

00:38:09

physically he is stronger

00:38:12

and as if in this way he will

00:38:14

restore his identity but this is not

00:38:16

so I understand it’s just a woman is unlikely did you

00:38:18

achieve this? Why do you think so? Well,

00:38:21

few people like to get on the scoreboard And

00:38:24

this is an unconscious process. That is, this is already a

00:38:28

thing that a woman needs to work with

00:38:30

and a man needs to work with.

00:38:39

At the

00:38:42

end of the program, let’s give women a

00:38:44

recommendation on what they should do if their

00:38:46

man often withdraws into himself, understand the

00:38:49

first thing is that it’s normal

00:38:53

to somehow learn to stop,

00:38:56

that it’s not just for them, it’s a process in general

00:39:02

Give him time and space,

00:39:06

stop waiting for him from there and get busy with

00:39:09

your own affairs

00:39:11

for at least two hours

00:39:15

excellent Thank you very much for

00:39:17

shedding light on such a difficult topic

00:39:20

please you watched this not Freud like it

00:39:23

ask your questions in

00:39:25

the comments And of course Subscribe

00:39:27

to our channel and to our telegram channel

00:39:30

happily

00:39:31

[music]

Description:

В этом выпуске ведущий Андрей Самарцев и психолог Владислав Эльц поговорили о мужчинах и почему они уходят в себя. Как происходит психическое становление мужчины? Что делать женщине, если ее молодой человек отказывается обсуждать свои проблемы? Если мужчина в кризисе, какого поведения они ждут от женщин? Как справиться со своими внутренними тревогами и истериками? И чего боятся мужчины на самом деле? Письма в нашу программу, которые сможет прокомментировать психолог, отправляйте на адрес [email protected] 00:00 «Это не Фрейд». Мужчины 01:00 Почему психология мужчин и женщин разная? 05:05 Как происходит психическое становление мужчины? 07:01 «Женщины не меркантильные, это иллюзия» 09:31 Про сценарии «отшельник» и «брошенный» 14:41 Кто виноват в плохих отношениях: женщина, мужчина или его мама 15:28 По каким причинам мужчина может уйти в себя? 16:50 Если мужчина в кризисе, какого поведения они ждут от женщин? 18:07 «Задача мужчины уметь справляться с внутренней тревожностью и истерикой» 22:45 Как мужчинам взаимодействовать со своим внутренним «я»? 25:07 Что делать женщине, если мужчина отказывается обсуждать свои проблемы? 29:18 Письмо от зрительницы 31:50 Может ли женщина спровоцировать уход мужчины в себя? 32:28 Письмо от зрительницы 34:12 Что делать мужчине, у которого каждая ссора — это развод? 35:28 А как быть другому типу мышления, для кого развод — это реально пойти развестись? 36:22 Чего боятся мужчины? 38:49 Рекомендации женщинам Подписывайтесь на @RTVItainment и ставьте лайки RTVI Новости — все главные события в формате 24/7: https://www.youtube.com/user/myRTVi

Preparing download options

Popular

HD video

Only sound

All

* — If the video is playing in a new tab, go to it, then right-click on the video and select "Save video as..."

** — Link intended for online playback in specialized players

Questions about downloading video

How can I download "О чем молчат мужчины? / Владислав Эльц // Это не Фрейд" video?

http://unidownloader.com/ website is the best way to download a video or a separate audio track if you want to do without installing programs and extensions.
The UDL Helper extension is a convenient button that is seamlessly integrated into YouTube, Instagram and OK.ru sites for fast content download.
UDL Client program (for Windows) is the most powerful solution that supports more than 900 websites, social networks and video hosting sites, as well as any video quality that is available in the source.
UDL Lite is a really convenient way to access a website from your mobile device. With its help, you can easily download videos directly to your smartphone.

Which format of "О чем молчат мужчины? / Владислав Эльц // Это не Фрейд" video should I choose?

The best quality formats are FullHD (1080p), 2K (1440p), 4K (2160p) and 8K (4320p). The higher the resolution of your screen, the higher the video quality should be. However, there are other factors to consider: download speed, amount of free space, and device performance during playback.

Why does my computer freeze when loading a "О чем молчат мужчины? / Владислав Эльц // Это не Фрейд" video?

The browser/computer should not freeze completely! If this happens, please report it with a link to the video. Sometimes videos cannot be downloaded directly in a suitable format, so we have added the ability to convert the file to the desired format. In some cases, this process may actively use computer resources.

How can I download "О чем молчат мужчины? / Владислав Эльц // Это не Фрейд" video to my phone?

You can download a video to your smartphone using the website or the PWA application UDL Lite. It is also possible to send a download link via QR code using the UDL Helper extension.

How can I download an audio track (music) to MP3 "О чем молчат мужчины? / Владислав Эльц // Это не Фрейд"?

The most convenient way is to use the UDL Client program, which supports converting video to MP3 format. In some cases, MP3 can also be downloaded through the UDL Helper extension.

How can I save a frame from a video "О чем молчат мужчины? / Владислав Эльц // Это не Фрейд"?

This feature is available in the UDL Helper extension. Make sure that "Show the video snapshot button" is checked in the settings. A camera icon should appear in the lower right corner of the player to the left of the "Settings" icon. When you click on it, the current frame from the video will be saved to your computer in JPEG format.

What's the price of all this stuff?

It costs nothing. Our services are absolutely free for all users. There are no PRO subscriptions, no restrictions on the number or maximum length of downloaded videos.