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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:01
very often, when a young person gets on a ship for the00:00:05
first time, he is subjected to severe stress00:00:07
and goes through the stage of psychological00:00:10
adaptation to new living conditions; as00:00:12
a result, he can assess the00:00:14
environment not quite adequately00:00:25
[music]00:00:31
[music]00:00:36
friends, hello everyone, when a young man00:00:39
goes to practice for the first time on his00:00:42
first ship voyage, he may have a very good00:00:45
theoretical basis for his level, he00:00:47
studied well, watched all sorts of video00:00:51
tutorials on preparing for a ship, in00:00:55
general, the guy thinks that he is ready for his00:00:57
first voyage, but there is one thing that is00:01:00
impossible to prepare for, this is that very00:01:03
specific sea humor that can00:01:06
only be acquired if you’re already on00:01:08
the boat, and so now I want to00:01:10
show you the top 10 toughest jokes00:01:14
on young people; we went to sea00:01:20
very often on a ship as a trainee, they give00:01:23
meaningless impossible tasks, and00:01:26
in particular, here’s an example about books, how many00:01:32
80 more, well, let’s take a centimeter00:01:36
[music]00:01:39
wait and as far as he can duracell00:01:44
books this is a bollard for fastening mooring00:01:48
lines its working permissible load is 6300:01:52
tons but this is approximately comparable to the00:01:55
Challenger 2 tank and the guy really believed in himself00:01:58
look00:02:07
[music]00:02:08
you just go on trains, you know what an00:02:11
emergency stop is - crane00:02:13
go to the mechanics and ask where the00:02:17
emergency release button for the propeller is,00:02:20
guys, never do this, this does00:02:23
n’t happen, at least once you can00:02:25
imagine what a ship’s propeller is and00:02:28
how much it costs, what does it mean to give it away,00:02:31
this doesn’t happen, there is a stop button00:02:34
on a ship, but it’s located on the bridge00:02:37
at the telegraph, with this question you00:02:40
can go to the department cars and00:02:42
contact the mechanics00:02:47
a series of inconvenient questions guys, learn00:02:51
terminology in Russian but00:02:53
it is also welcome in English, even if00:02:55
you work in Russian-speaking00:02:57
crews, English-language terminology00:03:00
will also be very common and00:03:02
avoid such inconvenient ones questions if00:03:04
you don’t understand something, first figure00:03:06
it out before doing anything, go to the00:03:09
boatswain and take the key to the waterline,00:03:11
how many people will fit in the twine and00:03:15
another trick question, how to00:03:18
measure the depth using the sixt, write the00:03:21
answer in the comments, a00:03:27
receipt for payment for water and00:03:29
electricity00:03:31
means There is a document on the ship00:03:34
where data is written out how much water the00:03:37
crew member used in each cabin,00:03:40
how much electricity was consumed00:03:43
below, the watch mate the00:03:46
watch mechanic signs and all this is certified by the00:03:48
chief engineer the00:03:50
young man comes to the bridge the watch00:03:52
mate hands him this receipt, which is00:03:54
empty and says go to the engine room and00:03:58
writes out the numbers there how much did you burn and00:04:01
how much water did you use and assures00:04:04
everything from the senior mechanic,00:04:06
but after that, naturally, the young one00:04:09
goes down to the engine room with this00:04:10
paper and then the process begins at the00:04:12
discretion of the mechanics themselves, a series of never be00:04:15
fooled by this, this also does not happen to00:04:18
any of the crew members no one pays00:04:21
for electricity, not to the plant, of course, there are00:04:24
problems with fuel on the ship and00:04:27
these 2 resources already depend on it, but this is a00:04:31
separate story, a00:04:37
special case,00:04:39
there are such individuals who, no matter how00:04:43
you prepare, they will never be prepared, well,00:04:45
such a person, so guys, work00:04:49
on yourself Now I want00:04:51
to tell you one story that I00:04:52
had in practice, and in practice both00:04:55
within the walls of the university and in the00:04:57
bulkheads on a ship, look,00:05:01
I once taught classes on technical00:05:03
means of navigation and in my00:05:06
classes the topic was radar, we dismantled the00:05:09
radar and sarp, and when the guys had already mastered the00:05:13
first part of each, I called up the00:05:17
radar consoles and literally asked 1 2 questions there in00:05:20
order to make sure that the guy was in the know, the guy knew how to do it in00:05:23
general, he knew the material,00:05:26
and so I went through the whole00:05:29
group one by one and somehow One of the cadets came up to me,00:05:33
he was immediately singled out among00:05:36
everyone because I noticed that the group00:05:38
periodically made fun of him, well, not without00:05:40
this, of course, you know, we all00:05:42
studied, so a guy comes up to the radar,00:05:46
I tell him that you managed to work with the00:05:48
radar settings,00:05:50
well let's put the bein on about two-00:05:53
thirds of the flour he puts on half the game00:05:58
opinion wait somewhere on two-thirds00:06:00
do as I did look00:06:02
please two-thirds stay I'm saying but00:06:05
it's not exactly two-thirds I'm already00:06:07
starting to get the thought we can't00:06:10
be such that a person in the fourth00:06:12
year does00:06:13
not know fractions in x, and it’s unlikely that this is still00:06:17
a topic in primary schools there, I don’t00:06:20
remember 3 2nd grade, maybe in general, I00:06:24
ask him, I go up to the board, draw00:06:27
some kind of circle and say,00:06:30
please share from He draws two-thirds of this circle in00:06:32
half, not00:06:35
two-thirds,00:06:38
in general, wild laughter begins in the group,00:06:41
someone shouts at him and prompts him to say00:06:44
your Marse ds, in general, the kid doesn’t understand at all,00:06:48
I told them that it’s too early for you, my friend,00:06:51
to study with a radar, first00:06:54
learn the fractions and come to the next00:06:57
lesson, we will work with you00:06:58
further, weeks pass, the00:07:01
group comes, everything is the same,00:07:05
this cadet is still standing, I haven’t had time to00:07:07
start the lesson right away, he doesn’t speak,00:07:09
comrade teacher,00:07:11
and you flew me away at the last lesson,00:07:14
supposedly I don’t know the topic of the last lesson Well,00:07:18
more precisely, the topic of primary school, so he00:07:21
said, I know everything perfectly well and / I know and00:07:24
share I know I’m even ready to00:07:26
demonstrate my knowledge00:07:28
all the Taivo so encouraged Vova, come on,00:07:31
show us the class in general, fish, please,00:07:34
the guy comes to the board, draws a circle,00:07:37
draws this certain Mars logo is00:07:40
here one third here is 210 here are three critics that00:07:43
is one whole and excellent and four fifths00:07:47
and00:07:48
I once told this story to the00:07:51
second assistant during shift changes I was still00:07:53
inside this assistant and00:07:55
when I tell him I naturally did00:07:59
not say my last name is I said my first name00:08:02
Vova and the guy who talked to me00:08:05
microsoft on shift change recently00:08:06
arrived, we had a shift change on watch and00:08:09
he tells me, you know, I also00:08:12
had a similar story, I met00:08:14
such an interesting intern, his00:08:17
name was also Vova, I arrived on the ship for00:08:20
several days, I’m with him I meet and00:08:23
ask Vova, how long have you been on00:08:25
the ship? In practice, you’ve had your own tanker,00:08:28
Vova says, I’ve been on the ship for about 5 months, I’ll00:08:33
be going home soon, and00:08:36
how many cargo tanks are there on the ship?00:08:39
He thinks it’s00:08:42
probably 2000:08:45
no, you’re not 20 tanks, so you understand00:08:48
the tanker linear00:08:50
less that's how you think logically00:08:53
what number a person will name for what he00:08:56
said00:08:57
three00:09:01
so guys if you really have00:09:04
gaps in knowledge with integration in00:09:09
this maritime society get ready00:09:11
to work on yourself this is very important00:09:18
continuation of the next top one of my00:09:21
colleagues told more one story when00:09:24
he was still a second mate a long time ago,00:09:26
they had a fourth mate who was00:09:29
absolutely a mole, so he had a00:09:32
moth of experience in his face, he was even ugly in his face, and the00:09:35
captain teased him, I say 400:09:38
in the face, not a garden, in general, such a character00:09:41
was on the ship and somehow this fourth00:09:44
assistant comes up to the second and says00:09:47
listen, help me buddy, I’m here again,00:09:50
once again, it’s not the captain who’s gouged out, he00:09:53
asked me some incomprehensible things, I do00:09:56
n’t know, asking what physics and00:09:58
quadrature are, I don’t know what they are, help00:10:02
me, otherwise he says that They won’t let me00:10:03
onto the bridge again until I00:10:05
find out, well, the second mate thought so00:10:08
and said, listen, you’re on fire, don’t00:10:12
worry about it, this is the captain teasing you, in00:10:15
fact, Sergei quadrature has nothing to00:10:17
do with navigation, these are two00:10:20
sisters, one was sticking their tongues at the other’s name00:10:24
quadrature they received an inheritance from an00:10:27
oil tycoon and then in the00:10:30
process they did not share it, it was a very00:10:33
serious scandal for the whole world, there00:10:35
was even an oil crisis, and by the way, many00:10:37
tankers were left without work, so00:10:41
perhaps the captain was affected by this, you00:10:43
can come to the bridge to tell00:10:45
this story and he will understand everything and all the00:10:47
episodes,00:10:48
but can you imagine when the guy came00:10:52
to the bridge, can you imagine what the captain’s face was like,00:10:54
it00:10:55
will be inserted and immediately00:10:59
[music] the00:11:12
guys are in the top 4, I want to leave you with your00:11:15
comments, for sure many will have a00:11:17
lot of different interesting and funny00:11:19
stories00:11:23
I’ll pin the best comment based on the number of likes, and if you have an00:11:26
unprecedented story at all, then we’ll make a00:11:32
Godzilla movie about it. In00:11:34
2017, we went to the Japanese plant00:11:37
she sword and accepted a new tanker, and for the00:11:39
first three months a00:11:42
specialist from the plant’s00:11:44
technical representative rode with us, he checked the00:11:46
systems air conditioning, but also other00:11:48
various mechanisms,00:11:49
his name was a mass goat, a young guy, but it00:11:54
was his first time at sea on a voyage,00:11:56
he had never gone to sea before, he00:11:58
worked exclusively at work at home, at home, at00:12:00
home,00:12:01
came in the morning, the ship went up, climbed00:12:05
onto the ship, did some technical00:12:06
procedures and returned home back and00:12:09
here it was really stressful for him, well,00:12:12
imagine that usual place of work,00:12:14
his working conditions had completely changed,00:12:17
the steamer began to rock, everything was rattling from the00:12:20
work of the main engine, there was00:12:22
nothing else around00:12:24
you, all of you were foreigners, not a single00:12:27
local with whom you could talk, but00:12:29
everyone knew English mediocre,00:12:31
including his00:12:33
natural person, it was quite a00:12:35
stressful situation and somehow he00:12:37
comes to me on the bridge, I was the third00:12:40
officer on watch,00:12:43
approaches the navigation equipment,00:12:46
approaches the radar and00:12:47
I decided to ask denis, depending on what it00:12:51
is, here I approach there was the00:12:54
usual interference on the radar, I decided to cheer him up00:12:56
a little, to00:12:58
make fun of him, so I go up and00:13:02
look at something there.00:13:05
I make a serious expression on my face, I00:13:07
take the binoculars, they begin to look into the distance00:13:11
again at the radar, again I take the binoculars,00:13:13
I begin to look, I’m specifically trying to00:13:15
act out such a00:13:17
stressful state to someone that00:13:20
something is happening,00:13:21
he also begins to intrigue herself,00:13:24
what am I saying Godzilla Godzilla00:13:29
Godzilla the00:13:34
thing is that the00:13:37
monsters in Japanese mythology is very00:13:39
closely connected with their culture and customs,00:13:41
and here I really hit the nail on the head00:13:45
[music]00:13:48
apparently he is one of those people who really00:13:50
believes in something, some kind of superstition,00:13:53
especially in these stressful conditions in00:13:55
which he was, he really believed it He00:13:57
grabbed the binoculars himself and begins to look00:14:00
forward.00:14:02
Godzilla in general is a00:14:04
mixture, it’s generally a fictional character, but at the00:14:07
core, from afar in ancient times, it’s00:14:10
all monsters and00:14:12
Godzilla, as translated from Kojiro and00:14:17
gorilla, that is, two words combined,00:14:19
they came up with no such monster, a dragon,00:14:21
which they didn’t start showing back in 50 In the00:14:25
1980s in Japan, in general, I saw that00:14:29
the guy was really starting to get nervous, plus00:14:31
he actually lost weight after this situation, he did00:14:34
n’t eat at all, well,00:14:36
imagine the food was different on the new ship, I00:14:39
wrapped this surjoke, I’m burning sushi brother00:14:41
chickpeas, Yaroslavl residents, no monsters here,00:14:43
although of course the sea was open, there00:14:46
were no steamships, but he was a little00:14:48
embarrassed by the situation,00:14:50
so whoever scared you guys,00:14:52
this used to be in ancient maps when the ocean00:14:56
had not yet been explored, they drew00:14:58
all sorts of snakes and all sorts of dragons on the outskirts of the maps,00:15:01
this is naturally not on the photo,00:15:08
sharpen or saw off anchor claw00:15:12
is also such a common joke00:15:14
among old people who are trying to00:15:16
shoe a young man, and somewhere I once00:15:19
heard this story when a young man00:15:21
was sent to00:15:22
saw off the anchor claw with a hacksaw,00:15:26
they sent him, the guy comes about an00:15:29
hour or two later and says he’s done everything and00:15:33
like you did this,00:15:36
well, I sawed off all the records with a hacksaw,00:15:39
took it and sawed off such a paw at the anchor that no, the00:15:42
thing is that when I worked there,00:15:44
I met some friends there who were passing by on a00:15:47
boat from a shipbuilding plant, but00:15:50
my friends, I asked for an autogen, they00:15:53
gave it away and raised it to board and saw off00:15:56
it lies there to00:15:57
build the old people are really there and their jaws00:16:00
dropped they were in shock how did they already00:16:02
think damn who will be responsible for this00:16:05
how are you going to set an anchor for yourself it stands00:16:07
like an apartment a whole note or oh well00:16:10
relax guys I just raised00:16:12
what there - everyone brought me fruit, I00:16:14
just know this joke, so the more00:16:17
jokes you know, support00:16:19
this humor, support it will be useful00:16:26
and finally, top 1 this is the00:16:30
most common classic about the equator, a violent00:16:32
equator, when a ship crosses the00:16:36
equator, the name is usually young00:16:37
trainees on the bridge they say, so here are00:16:39
your binoculars, look into the distance, look for storms00:16:44
along the entire equator, they00:16:46
are located from the court should not collide with them,00:16:48
so your task is00:16:50
to observe and report if you suddenly00:16:52
see00:16:54
no buoys there, and there have never been any,00:16:58
this is all fiction, this is all very common,00:17:01
find a common joke but you know,00:17:04
I heard there are even people who00:17:06
saw them, especially at night, I saw00:17:09
some of his videos, they are there, you know, in the00:17:12
photo now it has become even harder and without00:17:16
humor, well, it’s just that00:17:18
you maintain friendly relations in the00:17:21
crew, joke with each other, but00:17:23
of course, to the best of your ability, senpai00:17:26
[ music]00:17:38
[music]00:17:50
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