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квн2020

00:00:04

In our country, from time immemorial, it

00:00:07

has been the custom that the elder always helps the

00:00:09

younger ones, so imagine the situation, a

00:00:11

young man brought his older brother into

00:00:15

the yard to dismantle the hello bandits, but the

00:00:21

Lord took away your crust, it’s obvious the

00:00:24

one in the jacket, we’ll figure it out, hear you,

00:00:29

cholesterol, and then Andrey

00:00:34

took off his jacket,

00:00:38

your brother actually - he’s not our family, the

00:00:44

thing is that he’s my mother’s son and

00:00:47

we have the same father, why don’t you understand the color, I

00:00:52

quickly took off

00:00:57

Denis’s jacket, but everything is going according to plan, everything’s

00:01:00

fine, call ours,

00:01:10

don’t listen to him, none of ours are not so hot,

00:01:13

mounting foam

00:01:16

and where to go believe you are free,

00:01:20

well, you are an owl and the drowning of the conflict

00:01:26

should now begin to decline, the

00:01:41

whole point is that it is more to blame everything

00:01:45

to trust no one than to measure each third of

00:01:49

your life if every second person is

00:01:52

ready to kill if tears weigh less

00:01:55

than a dam went faster to the end the words I

00:01:58

know from childhood we we know that everything in this

00:02:03

life obeys the strict laws of science, that’s why I

00:02:05

’m sorry, give me the key to

00:02:10

the dressing room, why should I go and add their friends,

00:02:20

but we’re talking about science now, and

00:02:23

what about anatomy, isn’t it science?

00:02:26

Now I’m sorry about that, give them something on the

00:02:29

topic okay song about what science

00:02:33

cannot explain, everything is possible in Somalia, everything is possible in Somalia, you can

00:02:38

seize ships, shoot from a Kalash,

00:02:41

but only a family, even up to 30, cannot be used by

00:02:46

anyone, not a single King

00:02:54

Andrei, where did you pick up all these gestures

00:02:58

in prison, we only showed inter there

00:03:04

[music]

00:03:06

[applause]

00:03:08

I apologize, but there Petrov of the sixth

00:03:11

chamber asks him to change the plantain

00:03:24

and what do you have for such tomorrow Putin

00:03:26

is coming for what with him

00:03:35

and nothing is going with the check, but he won’t come

00:03:38

tomorrow he had a report in the check yesterday, these are

00:03:41

our days as assertive as he will make it on

00:03:44

the plane

00:03:45

from where his plane ends up lying so they

00:03:48

began to earn money and listen to everyone in the ward

00:03:51

I saw on TV he

00:03:54

drove from Khabarovsk to Chita on a Lada Kalina

00:03:57

and why the hell is he so angry he will come here

00:04:01

[applause]

00:04:09

so they gobbled him up with something - then to surprise with

00:04:13

something to surprise on

00:04:14

and let’s dig a hole in the road in front of the hospital,

00:04:16

why do I think that he ever

00:04:20

hit a hole in the road and they’re not all that, it’s not that

00:04:24

we have a normal hospital,

00:04:26

we have something to show

00:04:27

about the tomograph, our pride is alive to us three

00:04:30

months ago they just brought exactly

00:04:33

the ways of the German rye, they know maybe he can

00:04:35

tell you how to turn it on

00:04:37

[applause]

00:04:42

I apologize that again you can

00:04:46

send someone to the store why did I

00:04:49

run out here weakly pulling me tomorrow

00:04:55

check Brady here questions something

00:04:56

will appear you are the best and let us salavat

00:05:00

flax answer the questions correctly

00:05:01

and invite Putin to his room,

00:05:03

let you at least be one of the

00:05:05

top officials of the state to see the last

00:05:08

face of the states, I apologize, so what’s

00:05:11

the end and the warmth,

00:05:14

I ask for forgiveness, my neighbor is a battery

00:05:18

from the control panel gres and swallowed and what, how what,

00:05:23

switch to football

00:05:25

with Lopatin, get together with us, look, it means

00:05:28

the prime minister is coming and he’ll go to

00:05:30

the hospital, what

00:05:31

if he wants to go to the therapist

00:05:33

tomorrow he won’t come why tomorrow, is it possible

00:05:37

there are such queues so he’s in line

00:05:41

I will say Putin and in response 30 people

00:05:44

income Verutin,

00:05:47

what did you take yesterday Veritin

00:05:50

came the same thing, it means here the

00:05:53

ward in yourself, don’t distract yourself, so let’s go to the

00:05:57

reception department of the meeting to prepare,

00:05:58

just one day has passed, it seems like he wants to

00:06:04

like everything in the tomograph, he helped turn it on once

00:06:08

you said this man, earthlings from

00:06:16

childhood instill in their children a love of

00:06:18

music and send them to study in music

00:06:21

schools, but sometimes they want to study music and such

00:06:24

people call next next time and

00:06:29

my name is Andrey. Once a moose cow got stuck

00:06:35

between two trees and the whole forest gathered

00:06:39

to get her ok stop

00:06:47

Andrey, what is this,

00:06:49

I just wanted to start with humor to

00:06:54

loosen up the atmosphere, so Andrey, you are

00:06:58

planning to enroll in our music

00:07:00

school, yes, you have hearing, there are

00:07:05

men, let’s get to the point of being

00:07:14

good at using musical instruments with a

00:07:16

dafba, he gave it, and I recognize the cute one

00:07:25

by his gait

00:07:28

[music]

00:07:36

and he enokhe wears acalyph's trousers are standing at

00:07:44

he wears she's enough for us what else are you going

00:07:52

to dance here I can

00:07:54

dance here

00:07:55

's the disc you're running from in your mind and the

00:08:12

delivery hedgehog laughs again anecdote no this is a real-

00:08:17

life

00:08:19

anecdote from and I'm stuck and somehow a moose

00:08:21

between us, then go give him

00:08:26

one last chance, please okay, you have

00:08:29

30 seconds of

00:08:31

loops, you can be inveterate no

00:08:38

[applause]

00:08:49

visit no words, go away,

00:08:57

can you ask a question, let's what exactly

00:09:04

was wrong in my performance,

00:09:18

maybe the song is not waist stubbornly plastic,

00:09:24

of course everyone remembers the wonderful school

00:09:27

years and singing lessons that can’t be

00:09:29

forgotten so fast walkers go to the blackboard let’s

00:09:32

sing when the house from the school yard

00:09:39

pazuki is not sharper even more you laugh

00:09:43

at yourself we’ll show you to the sounds of the bottom I can’t

00:09:53

drink they bother me

00:09:54

obedient children each of you may

00:09:56

not be in his place yes, let's continue, maybe

00:10:00

I'll sing another song well, let's sing

00:10:02

another one, you, I know you're the only one in the world

00:10:15

[music]

00:10:17

when they can't listen and the children can't

00:10:21

hear it, and Andryusha has no hearing before you

00:10:23

can't sing,

00:10:24

but he's a kind and sympathetic boy, ready to

00:10:26

come to help any of you at any

00:10:28

moment, that’s why I put it five times,

00:10:37

today in greeting we are talking about

00:10:38

art, then at the end Andrey would like to

00:10:41

read you a poem that he wrote

00:10:43

himself, I

00:10:47

fell in love with this game, I only change three letters,

00:10:50

but what kind of letter k is there, you are

00:10:54

not n at the end Yarmolnik

00:11:00

[applause]

00:11:06

and the topic of the presidential elections worries

00:11:08

everyone and so the center

00:11:10

of the electoral commission, I apologize, the presidents

00:11:15

are signing up here before write down the speedster Andrey

00:11:18

Yuryevich, are you sure there are already a lot of candidates,

00:11:21

five people counting cmos a message seems

00:11:25

to be warm

00:11:26

or the report I don’t know

00:11:34

Andrey, you’re burning first of all

00:11:36

you need to collect 2 million signatures,

00:11:37

collect it then

00:11:40

Petrovich q wife wife not for me and

00:11:47

I can even you already have a political

00:11:51

program well what will you

00:11:53

do first if you become president

00:11:55

divorce why what is this a sheep can’t

00:11:59

be the first lady petrenko

00:12:02

what is Petrin q4 exactly I'll collect Andrey

00:12:06

hot, there is a criminal record, yes, you're

00:12:09

not right for us editing to ask again

00:12:16

[music]

00:12:18

you have a criminal record, here's

00:12:23

your previous place of work, a pig farm, the

00:12:27

last slaughterhouse,

00:12:29

listen, I'm just wondering why

00:12:31

after the slaughterhouse it's not my thing to immediately run for president, this is

00:12:35

hello Andrey Lobov,

00:12:45

he'll need a pseudonym choose exactly,

00:12:48

in fact, this is a pseudonym and your last name is

00:12:52

like frog, Lord, where do people like that

00:12:57

come from, this is a very funny

00:13:00

story, how my mother went to

00:13:02

bed and don’t need these stories,

00:13:04

tell me about yourself in a nutshell, kidney stones,

00:13:13

so Andrey first of all, a music

00:13:16

competition, you can drink at all, yes of course

00:13:18

let's her father is not just a therapist

00:13:25

not just noted containers or a doctor he is the

00:13:30

labor joker and humorist

00:13:34

and in life he only respects laughing

00:13:40

scarlet fever called the young man you

00:13:59

have some other songs yes of course

00:14:01

please

00:14:04

on the beach in in Jurmala I met you Sony

00:14:12

but it ended repeat I went to Tver for my

00:14:18

wife but he is my fleet

00:14:23

somewhere in three extremes

00:14:31

I’m tired of it you have exactly a minute

00:14:34

to surprise us time 40 seconds so

00:14:44

speaking

00:14:47

goodbye God knows I’m back

00:14:57

just to ask

00:15:00

dad uncles passed the casting and who their

00:15:04

number was, the stumbling block is precisely

00:15:12

physics, because some don’t pass it the

00:15:15

first time the next

00:15:17

[music]

00:15:19

you are friends, colleagues are

00:15:21

not colleagues yet, rightly in Arizona,

00:15:24

is it their audacity of broken youngsters,

00:15:29

you are already 6 of us trying to pass

00:15:31

the exam, what are you surprising us with today?

00:15:36

physics songs Iranian and they

00:15:38

learn very quickly then the country of Israel

00:15:42

will suffer for a long time so

00:15:55

you are old, the current strength is

00:16:00

sorry, you have it written incorrectly not

00:16:02

only but only the current strength,

00:16:06

well let it be only in the end it is

00:16:09

not Russian, I give the current strength is measured

00:16:14

in meters the

00:16:15

gene is enough you have learned

00:16:19

Einstein's basic law write down the formula for me on the board

00:16:25

write energy energy letter e e big

00:16:31

they are capital

00:16:36

equals run away energy equals e equals

00:16:39

write equally as indicated as

00:16:46

parallel lines it turns out equals

00:16:48

yes not vertical and horizontal

00:16:51

horizontal straight line chamberlain one

00:16:53

mass and smeared can become on the price on

00:16:56

hares

00:16:57

we don't stop letter c letter c

00:17:11

so here it is.

00:17:34

This is not the time to find out, let's

00:17:36

think about us, there are many options for

00:17:39

maybe a deuce, let's

00:17:44

go through the beer fight again, summer is in front of us,

00:17:47

it's time for relaxation, and for some, it's time

00:17:50

to take exams, and so let's

00:17:53

move forward to the music school next

00:17:57

[music]

00:18:01

Andrey, we have a person present today

00:18:03

from the ministry so you really

00:18:05

try

00:18:09

[applause] let's

00:18:14

start the exam let's start the exam let

00:18:17

's start I'll start

00:18:21

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky 1715 and 1764

00:18:25

this model is garbage in 1715 2789 so stop

00:18:29

reading the portraits on the wall,

00:18:32

go and take a paper clip, then of course

00:18:35

violin violin means script.

00:18:38

creaky this pipe I thought in the world there was

00:18:43

something more rubin rubin rubin this is

00:18:47

what they beat correctly they also call it tabla

00:18:49

lir it is in his mind Andrey what

00:18:53

tools do you know hammer pliers by pruners hoe hose

00:18:56

it’s clear

00:18:59

show the harp

00:19:01

yes of course harp harp harp ha-ha- ha

00:19:06

[applause]

00:19:09

whatever you want before us, everyone knows this is what it

00:19:14

looks like there's a bon you ca

00:19:17

n't sit down pogrom think

00:19:25

remove the

00:19:29

cheat sheet runner

00:19:31

[music]

00:19:36

so the line is

00:19:39

very our personal conversations with ours the book

00:19:41

will reign and

00:19:43

yes stop in the end that even

00:19:46

such tips cannot be used

00:19:48

Andrey, you understand that we are already ashamed of you,

00:19:50

so that it’s worth it, it’s obvious that they

00:19:52

found you unnoticed only during the story about

00:19:54

you, she’s not even very busy, that is,

00:19:55

unnoticed, as if that’s enough, this is what

00:19:59

it is, what they ordered if the last letter guesses

00:20:05

him three flute posts here this is the trace of the

00:20:15

soul preparation hint sort out the

00:20:21

vowels

00:20:23

[music] the

00:20:26

first letter of the alphabet is the very first one

00:20:28

which constantly I beat

00:20:34

Andrey we were generally preparing for the exam in

00:20:37

society prepared a song sing a thunderstorm in

00:20:42

July and horses walk quietly grazing a corolla

00:20:47

next to them in the field

00:20:49

suddenly lightning struck ring

00:20:53

and from cows what's left benefits only

00:20:58

exhale to panic

00:21:01

give I can stop that's enough everyone go out there

00:21:05

skrobot and now the Singaporeans

00:21:14

would like to ask you a question oh you

00:21:17

know who my father is

00:21:19

no you just don't know either I've always

00:21:21

been interested in Andrey Skorokhod

00:21:31

the most Yarina himself little man excuse me

00:21:35

just a little volovets

00:21:42

[applause]

00:21:46

tell me, on what basis do people in

00:21:48

the team stand Andrey

00:21:51

heads to me or to him yes so

00:21:52

you leta clone Andrey Skorokhod is

00:21:55

you

00:21:56

any Andrey Skorokhod double namesake

00:21:59

Andrey I mean you media data that

00:22:03

your joke or song is a joke or songs

00:22:07

so a joke or a song so a joke or a song

00:22:14

you show us something gogol

00:22:20

that gogol gogol mark will do well

00:22:26

let's wait

00:22:29

[applause]

00:22:36

don't wait for anyone let's go

00:22:38

okay the song gave his credit to the

00:22:46

musicians the conductor

00:22:48

that you sing the song gave his credit

00:22:51

to the musicians the conductor to the tune of the song, the

00:22:55

musician and composer hung his frock coat on the back of the chair, if I’m not mistaken,

00:22:58

Chakovsky, and I’m not mistaken, and the

00:23:00

composer’s cups were just slightly altered

00:23:06

to make them laugh a little,

00:23:08

so let’s make a joke, okay, what are you

00:23:12

doing, this joke is funnier if you don’t

00:23:15

me stop

00:23:18

everything, go away, tell me what the reason is, it’s

00:23:24

simple, it kicks me out from everywhere with this

00:23:27

wording, you have nothing,

00:23:37

a visit, God takes for yourself a song

00:23:43

along the Sochi street where the Akkadians are

00:23:47

burning brightly, the title of a

00:23:49

glamorous Muscovite walked blindly sacd and with a

00:23:53

hole in the right side,

00:23:55

so I walked

00:23:58

10 minutes let's dig a little deeper, so

00:24:01

to speak, let's continue our archaeological

00:24:03

expedition

00:24:04

[music]

00:24:09

archaeologists

00:24:11

began to shoot out of me Andrea where

00:24:13

have you been, wait, did you serve in the chair ah,

00:24:16

according to you, I should have skinned from okay

00:24:26

listen, and where I served in the Kaliningrad

00:24:29

region, Iskander guarded the mobile complex,

00:24:30

but that's secret information

00:24:34

secret information does this

00:24:36

crap work or not the case that the Iskander was stolen

00:24:45

I come in the morning and the Iskander was standing on bricks it

00:24:47

was mobile, it became stationary

00:24:49

and now John Cho now, no matter which

00:24:54

side they grew on a pair, they crush

00:24:56

Romania

00:24:59

[music]

00:25:06

the runner and where the tree was cut down

00:25:08

that one was immediately cut down to me, they gave me a fiat

00:25:13

ford without an ax, and in general, I

00:25:18

suggest that the finals be a little naughty, are

00:25:20

you out of your mind, look who the jury is, he is Yuli

00:25:22

Solomonovich, an adult, respectable person,

00:25:24

this is an adult, respectable person, Berlusconi can

00:25:27

give Berlusconi a head start

00:25:30

[applause]

00:25:36

maybe

00:25:39

you understand the mind of the 3 finals region,

00:25:43

your problem is that you

00:25:44

are playing and you need to win,

00:25:46

convene let's start on December 31,

00:25:51

other students are far from in a festive

00:25:53

mood because they have to

00:25:55

take exams, and so let's

00:25:57

imagine the Smolensk

00:25:59

Medical Academy, this is a word for you,

00:26:07

why do we need an empty bag, but

00:26:12

I'm a young man I don’t even know who you are, so let’s

00:26:22

start the exam, the first question is

00:26:24

the function of blood, and the function of blood, a

00:26:27

person needs blood to earn from 5

00:26:29

to 10 thousand rubles, that’s not enough, the second

00:26:33

question, expand the board, human anatomy,

00:26:39

where is the appendix, I had it

00:26:42

cut out, where am I now? I know, it’s

00:26:50

clear, we take the stomach, we don’t take it and

00:26:54

turn it on, we take the stomach where

00:26:57

the stomach is, Lord, where does the food go, where does it go

00:27:00

next, and a year later, an intermediate

00:27:02

option, so we take the heart, where is a

00:27:06

person’s heart located, is it a man or a woman,

00:27:08

what’s the difference, it’s just that women don’t have

00:27:12

a heart,

00:27:16

let’s say show your tongue here

00:27:19

show your tongue oh my God

00:27:23

[applause]

00:27:25

55 and put it in place it’s

00:27:28

cold even colder

00:27:31

because of all the frosts I see you don’t

00:27:33

catch the essence of the game

00:27:35

and who takes my tongue I’m a person’s kidneys

00:27:37

you don’t remember where they are I

00:27:40

studied let’s remember those ex-boyfriends can’t

00:27:51

and that’s how your kidneys are located,

00:27:59

we take the easy one, we take the second easy one to the

00:28:05

speedster 2, a person has a cheat sheet to make

00:28:10

and I don’t know

00:28:15

[music]

00:28:16

[applause]

00:28:18

[music]

00:28:23

and on New Year’s Day it’s customary to hand over Dylan,

00:28:27

so imagine the outgoing year 2012 hands over the

00:28:30

affairs to the new one 2013,

00:28:35

hello 2013,

00:28:38

yes, I came to take care of your business, but come in and

00:28:41

look at the gang for more than two positions, do

00:28:45

n’t give it to me,

00:28:52

I was already driving him inconveniently in front of the

00:28:54

person, what should I start at all, I’m planning,

00:28:57

well, I want to lower the mortgage rate,

00:28:59

increase pensions, I recognize myself as young,

00:29:05

but whose business I didn’t finish the Olympics

00:29:09

in Sochi Guzman’s third film timid stadium

00:29:15

zenith around the stadium to get married just a

00:29:17

billion you throw in a billion you change the foreman

00:29:19

you hand over to the fourteenth year I

00:29:27

understood everything and the last thing she

00:29:32

gave me the account of 11 years old he got 10 his 9 what’s the

00:29:35

deal business KVN team triode and diode

00:29:38

about not not one way or another, I’ll close it myself

00:29:43

[music]

00:29:47

listen to where the walker is and why don’t you know

00:29:51

he’s been filming in another program for over a year now

00:29:53

I’m sorry

00:29:57

[applause]

00:30:00

[music]

00:30:04

oh look what a handsome guy

00:30:08

she brought to us

00:30:10

and he’s standing and standing in eyes, don’t look at the deuce, I

00:30:15

probably got a Zhiguli to light a cigarette

00:30:19

for a long time or how I don’t know how they will accept it, but

00:30:23

part of this new program I do

00:30:25

n’t give money on a match from Maxim catching something

00:30:29

good, I came to discuss of seriously

00:30:31

okay stop with whom we are playing St. Petersburg

00:30:34

him with whom but one vowel woman

00:30:38

parodist of Pugachev I will take over and

00:30:43

Galkin on you so Andrey we are looking for the case

00:30:47

okay song

00:30:49

[music]

00:30:51

lying on the sofa with pale Vanya drowning

00:30:55

and green Kolya writhing in pain I’m there

00:30:59

Valentina pumping out the menu I curse sushi

00:31:03

at the sink is nonsense and the fishy star to

00:31:10

[applause ]

00:31:11

to win the summer cup in Sochi for the second time in a row, we

00:31:14

need what I know what we

00:31:17

need

00:31:19

[applause]

00:31:30

[music]

00:31:37

my mother wore this dress

00:31:42

Andrey, what is this

00:31:45

Eurovision winner Conchita Wurst, and it’s okay that

00:31:48

you just took and stole the image from a person,

00:31:51

I think he stealing this person is

00:31:54

not a sin, and in general, after the last

00:31:58

Eurovision, a couple of amendments to the bible need to be

00:32:00

made stricter, but how do you

00:32:04

feel in this, you know in this

00:32:08

image, I saw Sochi from the other side

00:32:11

[applause]

00:32:18

firstly, it turns out there are

00:32:21

free places on the beaches second, you can immediately see

00:32:26

who is a believer

00:32:29

and, most importantly, Guzman can run and

00:32:35

even climb and hide under water. The

00:32:43

Tyumen large academic cheese

00:32:45

theater burned down,

00:32:49

but before that he managed to stage one

00:32:51

performance, the house of Palych Chekhov,

00:32:55

the comedy The Cherry Orchard of

00:32:59

Saratov 1

00:33:03

[music]

00:33:09

all

00:33:10

[music]

00:33:15

and you say quadrille It’s interesting, after all,

00:33:23

they wanted tobacco on it, actions Ermolaya

00:33:25

Panina Revich, I’m actually Pyotr Mikhailovich

00:33:27

and the pee-pee [music] has an interesting effect on me,

00:33:37

we’re talking about bringing cookies and

00:33:41

candy when it’s good in an hour they’ll be there, why

00:33:44

only in an hour, well, the cemeteries aren’t

00:33:46

close, what’s that? Now howl, smoke a hookah and

00:33:52

let's better drink wine, the guy called

00:33:58

no, but in vain they brought beautiful people there,

00:34:04

wait for me, not right here, but I

00:34:07

see you have a new lip gloss so

00:34:09

that it's me, I'd rather eat, guy, I'm sorry, there's a

00:34:17

person at the funeral where lightning will strike

00:34:20

and that's cancelled. funeral and there lived a

00:34:27

judge, maybe there are cards for undressing,

00:34:29

but let me not do it, well, since

00:34:34

no one wants me and I don’t insist,

00:34:37

the guy, I’m sorry, he’s trampling on the stove in the chicken,

00:34:41

what to do, he’s doing nothing and

00:34:43

it’s fine, well, I don’t know, I

00:34:46

took it out of the freezer two minutes ago

00:34:48

but say no weight 100 pcs and a rootless slave oh holy fool

00:34:54

chelik uneducated

00:34:57

cinema stinking drunks thoughtlessly I didn’t

00:35:00

say that it’s your birthday today,

00:35:02

congratulations,

00:35:04

that is, anyone, thank you, sit down, let’s

00:35:07

pier, help yourself to the pies while Kay is there

00:35:10

is with chicken with potatoes and cabbage and

00:35:13

there is those who didn’t touch above with their hands

00:35:17

[applause]

00:35:23

boring KVN today is not the same

00:35:29

[applause]

00:35:35

gentlemen, you received a letter by pigeon

00:35:37

mail and dance yourself dancing with

00:35:40

pleasure

00:35:44

[music]

00:35:54

well, let me tell you that I have the

00:35:58

most unpleasant news for you, I’m carrying

00:36:00

estates being taken away for debts wait,

00:36:04

why did you take it, that I seemed to her

00:36:19

like they were collecting it together with the cherry orchard,

00:36:22

that is, you claim that you saw me

00:36:26

putting on a thong, it was heard that there,

00:36:32

bow down, no luck, tomorrow by eight in the morning

00:36:33

you need to clear the interference, what kind of a

00:36:36

man are you, such a handsome one now

00:36:43

they came to clown around, don’t you see our

00:36:45

grief, it’s better to bring us 50 grams each I understood

00:36:48

all the sick cheap cocaine juice on

00:36:50

ice

00:36:54

I understood why no dear friends those who

00:37:03

counted the works of the cherry orchard know

00:37:06

that in fact everything was completely wrong

00:37:08

and who didn’t read I didn’t consider the team union

00:37:12

read the classics look around KVN

00:37:15

[applause]

00:37:20

as in any profession, to become a

00:37:22

rescuer of the Ministry of Emergency Situations you need to go through a very

00:37:25

difficult selection among Nikolaevich

00:37:27

congratulations on successfully passing the exam

00:37:30

welcome to the Ministry of Emergency Situations

00:37:32

next

00:37:34

[music]

00:37:36

and

00:37:39

[music]

00:37:40

hello runner, this is your eighth time

00:37:44

here that now this time I learned all

00:37:47

your comments, that’s what this is a certificate that I’m

00:37:50

normal,

00:37:53

so let’s start the exam already, let’s start the

00:37:56

first question, saving drowning people is the work of the

00:37:58

drowning people themselves, what or did the

00:38:03

breakdown show, the proverb we play and when it seems we

00:38:05

need to be baptized so that such thugs

00:38:08

no

00:38:10

Andrey types of burns types of burns solar

00:38:14

so neat let's say and especially Ivan

00:38:18

Kupala like this when to jump over the fire of centuries

00:38:27

so Andrei what to do in case of

00:38:29

sunstroke from surrender you will fight with the

00:38:32

sun

00:38:33

I fought with the sea on Kazantip of course you

00:38:41

already have a certificate so it's a fast walker let's

00:38:44

simulate the situation the vacationer's

00:38:46

upper ones are clogged respiratory tract you tea

00:38:51

debate I'm taking the situation so I'm tired of it let's

00:38:54

move on to practice exercise on a

00:38:56

mannequin what happened it looks like my ex

00:39:02

yes calm down it's just a

00:39:06

mannequin sc 1322 I'm not as good as

00:39:13

her name is well

00:39:14

let it be Olya where she is from so what's the

00:39:18

difference let will be from Pyatigorsk

00:39:26

Olya from Pyatigorsk imagine that the

00:39:34

victim has severe bleeding

00:39:36

how much very strong the usual

00:39:54

[laughter]

00:40:03

and

00:40:06

[applause]

00:40:09

Andrey

00:40:19

get up and go pika

00:40:22

[applause]

00:40:29

sometimes the ultimate dream is to have time to

00:40:32

celebrate the New Year with your family, so

00:40:34

imagine the Smolensk station before the

00:40:36

train departs Brest

00:40:37

Irkutsk remains exactly five minutes

00:40:46

Abby show me hello Irkutsk trains

00:40:54

don’t remind me it means the lighthouse you’re driving is

00:41:01

worth Olivier after all it’s New Year no

00:41:05

thanks to me I’m in a hurry then passport ticket

00:41:08

here’s the ticket and

00:41:09

damn I’m off to the passport no passport no

00:41:13

boarding but how can there be no boarding well woman

00:41:16

maybe I can offer you something,

00:41:18

you are going to Irkutsk with a reserved seat and you

00:41:21

can offer me a woman woman if

00:41:28

you don’t put me in jail I will complain about you

00:41:29

and what do you say the conductor

00:41:32

didn’t take a bribe who will believe you

00:41:35

listen well please take it I do

00:41:38

n’t have the urine so I feel like I can even go without underwear,

00:41:40

I didn’t see it there, it’s

00:41:46

also an attraction for me.

00:41:51

we tell you how much for the house 42 listen mother

00:42:00

God sent God a relative dead

00:42:03

that you have already taken those pills of mine

00:42:07

now I’ll pay for it so go to your place

00:42:13

Lord woman eat if you

00:42:16

take me yourself

00:42:17

I’ll buy you 10 bottles of it I’ll buy it for people under 18

00:42:20

years old we don’t sell beer so not 30

00:42:24

show me your passport

00:42:25

I have a ticket take me with you

00:42:31

without a passport I can only take me to

00:42:33

Smolensk like a mouse Smolensk arrives

00:42:38

so I’m tired of it where the

00:42:40

train manager will solve all the issues with him she’s calling

00:42:42

she’s now talking to some idiot

00:42:44

with what an idiot which

00:42:46

you cancer duck gathered passport forgot

00:42:51

the woman but still with the New Year on the horizon

00:42:54

let's give you something take

00:42:56

here a pack of butter I don't care butter well as a

00:42:58

thank you thanks for the bread not for us

00:43:01

so went to

00:43:08

.

00:43:10

the soldier fell to the floor and most importantly before that he

00:43:18

fell flat eight times and then

00:43:22

Edik got his locker for a century, but after that it’s

00:43:26

better for you with yours and I won’t show it to you medals

00:43:29

dogs my dog we are vitamin so everything goes

00:43:33

home to the booth chechen you understand, well, I

00:43:36

haven’t been home for six months I dream of celebrating the New Year with my

00:43:39

family, you have a dream to eat, I

00:43:41

want it to stop in your head, here

00:43:51

you are still merging, your hearts are eating, this is a

00:43:53

train, not rows of meat,

00:43:59

you hear, you are waking up, where are you going to the

00:44:02

dining car to the waiter,

00:44:05

why should Taurus enter the New Year as servants?

00:44:08

Is it really true that I’m putting

00:44:11

everything back in place the

00:44:27

dispatcher’s blades, your woman has returned from a business trip,

00:44:31

understand, if

00:44:34

I don’t make it home in time for the New Year, such problems will arise hello

00:44:39

yes, dear, at the station my passport forgot,

00:44:42

the conductor won’t let me in, right now I’ll give

00:44:44

you a tube of 80, yes Well, of course I’ll let you in, I’m still

00:44:48

raising the same woman, all

00:44:50

in three days, wait at home there, now

00:44:53

this is definitely a problem,

00:45:07

I’m the price, take heart, I’m coming from a business trip, I

00:45:10

have 5 children at home waiting for me, and I’ll cook,

00:45:13

you often go on business trips

00:45:15

[applause]

00:45:27

[applause]

00:45:32

here is my passport, my torment is over

00:45:37

38 upper side, but letuale is

00:45:39

congratulating your torment for now to populate

00:45:43

[applause]

00:45:47

as you know, the theater begins with a hanger

00:45:49

and any family quarrel with the

00:45:52

stairwells, according to the version, it’s

00:45:54

still a play all 30 seats everyone sat,

00:45:58

come on, but I’ll go about Tom, not everyone watches

00:45:59

such a performance, God forbid, let

00:46:02

me show you, guess who is there 100 grams,

00:46:11

I see there are already all 500,

00:46:14

okay, winters, then I’m your husband, open up,

00:46:17

come on, my husband is missing, I don’t understand,

00:46:22

I called all the morgues, all the hospitals, he’s

00:46:24

nowhere to be found, my my husband has gone missing and

00:46:29

now what do you order me right here in front I

00:46:32

lyu sleep on the mat and what difference does it make to you

00:46:34

which side of the door you sleep on the mat

00:46:38

[applause]

00:46:44

it’s a woman in the

00:46:45

dream you have to be tough look at this and open it

00:46:50

let’s open it we’ve seen how it should be

00:47:01

welcome on board Mashenka, why are

00:47:06

you so little, you are 35 years old,

00:47:15

Mashenka, open up, I already miss my little son,

00:47:18

Nikita, Nikita, these come here, do you

00:47:21

want us to go to the zoo tomorrow,

00:47:23

I’ll show you the leopard, and Dad, I

00:47:27

’ll be back at the factory tomorrow, let’s see the

00:47:29

leopard’s conversations with you, and time flies. guys it's

00:47:40

great so stop according to the rules there

00:47:43

should be no more than three people on stage the release

00:47:49

got into trouble again well come with me let's sit

00:47:52

I'm different from Matilda's last sock what are you

00:47:58

starting the devil propellers

00:48:02

feed once in the morning and in one

00:48:05

word Zina's dad if you do

00:48:08

n't give me the door now If you open it, I’ll speed up and I

00:48:10

’ll go through the iron door, yes, you’ll

00:48:14

go through the business, and on this side

00:48:16

the Apostle Peter will be waiting for you,

00:48:26

little girl, motor, sunshine, well, in

00:48:31

the house, the master of the house

00:48:35

[applause]

00:48:40

would have a bite of this sunshine

00:48:42

[music]

00:48:59

and some

00:49:04

Zinaida Pavlovna was talking briskly

00:49:07

[applause]

00:49:14

I want

00:49:26

children, where did I go when I was at the market to wash them,

00:49:31

don’t fall into them, they looked at his black ones, he

00:49:33

brought them to me, he said that she’s the evil version, I’m a

00:49:35

Turk, I won’t believe my x, but I should have

00:49:39

seen an example of you in your mouth when you're

00:49:41

straight, let them let them out like that, guys on the

00:50:01

topic of the clock, maybe KDK, let's go to the concert,

00:50:05

but it's not there for an hour, they'll just give out food to the homeless,

00:50:08

they'll

00:50:10

teach because the homeless guy or something, I'd like some

00:50:13

baklava,

00:50:16

he don't look at Petrov, they're coming, dear,

00:50:20

thank you very much for the flowers, dear, the

00:50:22

same as not you, I am ready to give flowers

00:50:24

even every day,

00:50:25

I love you so much, I love you so much,

00:50:31

God forbid, also

00:50:37

[music]

Description:

Лучшие шутки и номера в исполнении Андрея Скорохода из команды КВН "Триод и Диод". По вопросам сотрудничества и рекламных интеграций: [email protected] https://t.me/kivin_2020 - официальный канал МС КВН. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tMPcvbvRd8 - карантинные видео от квнщиков. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVEsbNsZjhI - полная версия финала Высшей лиги 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGeeb8gGQ1w - документальный фильм "ПОЛУФИНАЛ" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uptGlWTE05Y - ТОП10 лучших клипов в КВН. Плейлисты: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLT7Gtaf_KPiH0AZX2GRfgsse-etDLVHra - шутки, не вошедшие в эфир. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQzFvppl67c&list=PLT7Gtaf_KPiEOblw1tWIIDPp5_ibtg_-k - "Встреча выпускников" в Екатеринбурге. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLT7Gtaf_KPiHJ_10xWftxyQJRpkIfj7vW - шутки жюри. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FehAKvTPNto&list=PLT7Gtaf_KPiFG41DJBEZrAyISmPLOL1hA - дневники музыкального фестиваля «Голосящий КиВиН 2019». Ссылки на официальные сообщества МС КВН: https://kvn.ru/ - сайт МС КВН http://vk.com/kvnofficial - группа МС КВН в vk https://twitter.com/kvnofficial - страница МС КВН в twitter

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