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Download "13 Minutes of Rudy Giuliani Getting Roasted | The Daily Show"

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Table of contents

0:00
Rudy Giuliani Press Conference
2:30
Rudy Giulianis Hair
5:28
The Masked Singer
7:28
The Drunk Vampire
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  • ruRussian
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00:00:00
foreign
00:00:06
campaign held a press conference to
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challenge the election results at Four
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Seasons total Landscaping in Northeast
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Philadelphia some people suspect the
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campaign intended to reserve the Four
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Seasons Hotel but accidentally booked
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this landscaping company located between
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a crematorium and a sex toy store
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Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani was
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speaking when he was told the election
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had been called for Biden what was it
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called by
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oh then oh my goodness all the networks
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wow
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all the networks
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no guys come on how is this real
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like how is this real how are you going
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to hold a press conference at a
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landscaping Warehouse between a
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crematorium and a sex toy store I mean
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as a general rule if you're ever out
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declaring war you don't want to do it 20
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feet from a dildo although I mean in
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some ways it makes sense because if you
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ask people what's halfway between a pawn
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shop and a crematorium they'd probably
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say Rudy Giuliani
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and by the way
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I have a feeling that Rudy Giuliani uses
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that sarcastic response a lot I'm sorry
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who wants me to put my clothes back on
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everyone oh wow everyone every single
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person in this Denny's wants me to put
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my clothes back on now the campaign says
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that they did mean to have the press
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conference at this venue and I hope that
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that's true
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but it really just sounds like Trump's
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legal team accidentally booked the wrong
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four seasons and if that is the case
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that would be so sad I mean do you know
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how incompetent you got to be to get
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catfished by a landscaping business also
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I love how the real Four Seasons tweeted
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that it has nothing to do with them
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because even hotel chains are trying to
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get away from Trump now I bet Motel 6
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was like get out of here your scumbags
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you're grossing out our bed bugs I also
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feel really bad for anyone who is inside
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that sex shop during that press
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conference because imagine being in a
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sex shop and then seeing every camera in
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America pulling up next door now you
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gotta hide out in a dildo stuff for six
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hours and that's a long time to pretend
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to be browsing yeah so is this the
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edible underwear
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is it gluten-free uh-huh yeah yeah
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they're still outside okay do you do
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samples so even though most of the world
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has accepted that Joe Biden will be the
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next president Donald Trump is clearly
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planning to drag out this fight for
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weeks
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Donald Joe Biden beat my ass Trump none
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of his legal efforts to undo the
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election have been working so now he's
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trying a different approach but on the
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other hand what might save America from
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Donald Trump trying to overthrow the
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government is that it's Donald Trump
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trying to overthrow the governments
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because his people are not known for
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being that great at what they do I mean
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just today Rudy Giuliani the president's
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personal lawyer and something kids fear
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is in the closet gave a press conference
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to explain why Donald Trump actually won
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the election right that's what he was
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doing he's trying to explain to us why
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Donald Trump actually won the election
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that we all saw him lose but we couldn't
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pay attention to this conspiracy theory
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because we were all distracted by this
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many of the absentee ballots were
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fraudulent and they knew that
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and they didn't want to have a count of
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that 200 of the registered voters in the
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district vote
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what does that mean in the states that
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we have indicated in red Georgia
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Pennsylvania Michigan Wisconsin Nevada
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and Arizona
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we more than double
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the number of votes needed to overturn
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the elections all you got to do to find
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out if I'm misleading you at all is to
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look at the lawsuits that's the reason
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why he probably didn't have to go out
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and campaign
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okay
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I know that this could be the end of
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American democracy but guys
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this is hilarious I mean Trump
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always said that he had leakers in his
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administration but I didn't know it was
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this bad what the hell was going on with
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Rudy honest question was was his hair
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dye dripping was his brain
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itself honestly I didn't even know that
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sideburns got periods you know your
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legal strategy is up when even
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your hair starts crying about it it was
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going down both his cheeks this dude was
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growing a chin strap beard in real time
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and look I'm not gonna lie
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part of me feels bad for Rudy
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because this was the biggest press
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conference of his life his big chance to
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get Donald Trump another term as
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president and his hair ruined the entire
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moment can you imagine if Abraham
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Lincoln was reading the Emancipation
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Proclamation and his beard just walked
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away people would have been like hey yo
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yo yo yeah man forget about the slaves
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man yo your chin hair just bounced B
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yeah you got you gotta look at that
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but maybe this is the perfect
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combination of evil and ridiculous to
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end the Trump era I think it's perfect
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because think about it if someone said
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in 2016 that this whole thing would end
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with Rudy Giuliani openly plotting a
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coup against the government but no one
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would take him seriously because he had
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hair dye running down his face the
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entire time you'd be like yeah you know
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what
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it sounds about right
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Rudy Giuliani former aide to Donald
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Trump and lawyer who makes all his
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clients look innocent in comparison
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since his role in the attempt to
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overthrow the 2020 election Giuliani has
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largely disappeared from public view
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like a snail retreating into its shell
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but way more disgusting
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and if there's one thing America loves
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it's a big comeback and last night Rudy
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got his a little bit of controversy on
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the mass singer last night personal
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lawyer to former president Donald Trump
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and former New York city mayor Rudy
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Giuliani popped out of a giant rooster
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suit while singing a rendition of Bad to
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the Bone
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[Music]
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and judge Ken Jung stormed off the stage
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apparently didn't like it saying I'm
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done
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yeah Rudy Giuliani just got voted off
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The Masked Singer which means he's about
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to spend the next five years claiming
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that he actually won the mosque Center
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and I guess history history was made
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last night because For the First Time In
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The Master singers history a contestant
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took off their mask and everyone was
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like no no put it back on put it back on
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put it on we don't want to get
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put it back on
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it's also weird how Rudy has the time to
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be on a game show but he's too busy to
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testify in front of Congress
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like maybe they should have just tricked
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him right Congress should have just like
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made it seem like it was the most singer
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combined the whole thing pop him in the
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giant costume and then sit him in front
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of the Jannah
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yeah that's the game show America needs
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Bernie Sanders would be sitting there
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like oh based on his other disregard for
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democracy I'm gonna guess the rooster is
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Rudy Giuliani let's take up the map and
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see she's a real world
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I could see the melting through the mask
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I could see it
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Trump's Inner Circle was well aware that
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the election did not go their way and
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they told Trump except for one person
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who had the liquid courage to say that
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Trump did win president Trump rejected
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the advice of his campaign experts on
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Election night
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and instead followed the course
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recommended by an apparently inebriated
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Rudy Giuliani to just claim he won and
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insist that the vote counting stop was
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there anyone in that conversation who in
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your observation had had too much to
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drink
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uh like murder Giuliani in the mirror
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was definitely intoxicated yeah
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according to this former Trump Aid Rudy
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Giuliani was wasted on Election night
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when he told Trump that the election was
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stolen from him
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curious about how you even know when
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Rudy Giuliani is drunk
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he's drunk they say crazy things they
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yell they sweat a lot so how does that
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work with Rudy does it work in Reverse
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like does he start talking normally his
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hair dye sucks back into his hair how
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does this work
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and you know it actually says a lot
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about Trump that a whole team of sober
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advisers his attorney general his
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campaign manager his his daughter who he
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wants to bang yeah we haven't forgotten
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they were all telling him you lost this
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election sir but then Trump was like
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yeah yeah whatever drunk vampire what do
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you think
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you know what you think about it
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actually makes sense that Trump would
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listen to a drunk person because that's
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the one time people probably sound like
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him you know he's just like what are you
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guys think we should do I'll tell you
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what I think we should do wow there's
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something about this guy he totally gets
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it you'll get it I I get it you get on
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you we get it
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all right you know there are a lot of
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depressing things going on in America
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right now so we decided let's start off
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today's show with some good news and I'm
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talking about what happened to Rudy
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Giuliani
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former New York city mayor and America's
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most illegal lawyer you see he was in a
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supermarket on Staten Island Sunday
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campaigning for his son Andrew Giuliani
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who's trying to make history as New
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York's first caveman governor and
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thankfully Rudy is now doing okay after
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just barely surviving a heinous
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drive by on his upper back
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on Staten Island grocery store workers
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facing assault charges accused of
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slapping former New York city mayor Rudy
00:10:08
Giuliani the surveillance video shows
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the encounter inside a ShopRite store
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the worker appears to hit Giuliani on
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the back prompting a reaction from the
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former mayor NYPD has said that this man
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was a 39 year old suspect who approached
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Giuliani slapped him in the back and
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said what's up scumbag
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Giuliani refused medical attention at
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the scene and the 39 year old was taken
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into custody with the NYPD recommending
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charges of second-degree assault don't
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you laugh don't you get enough
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this is second degree assault
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that's how tough New York's laws are
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third degree is if you lightly blow on
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someone's ear
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and first degree is if you boop them on
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the nose
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I've been hit I've been hit
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please and please don't get me wrong
00:10:55
don't get me wrong I don't think it is
00:10:57
right for anyone to be putting their
00:10:59
hands on politicians or anyone for that
00:11:00
matter without their consent right I'm
00:11:02
not saying that but no way in hell is
00:11:05
that
00:11:06
sugary assault
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but I believe that's not that's not a
00:11:09
second if that's assault then what I
00:11:10
guess Will Smith murdered Chris Rock
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that's what happened there
00:11:13
and now I'm in the gray and the grave
00:11:19
and
00:11:21
and I love how I love how they say Rudy
00:11:23
declined medical attention medical
00:11:25
attention for what
00:11:28
the only thing you could do is kiss it
00:11:30
and make it feel better that's it
00:11:33
better
00:11:36
in fact if anyone needs medical
00:11:37
attention here it's the guy who touched
00:11:39
Rudy Giuliani yeah that dude's hand
00:11:41
probably looks like Dumbledore's after
00:11:42
he bare-handed a horcrux thank you
00:11:46
and yes I will admit I will admit this
00:11:48
guy did sound aggressive but you've got
00:11:51
to understand what's up scumbag is just
00:11:54
how people say hello on Staten Island
00:11:56
you know yeah it's a normal conversation
00:11:58
what's up scumbag nothing much your
00:12:01
mother all right well nice to see you
00:12:03
Grandma
00:12:06
but to me to me the best part of this
00:12:07
story
00:12:08
is that the more Rudy told it the more
00:12:12
the slap seemed to hurt he hit me hard
00:12:16
enough to knock me forward about like
00:12:18
you know elderly people die mostly from
00:12:21
Falls this guy couldn't kill me I got
00:12:24
hit on the back
00:12:27
as if a boulder hit me it knocked me
00:12:31
forward a step or two all of a sudden I
00:12:34
feel a shot on my back
00:12:36
like somebody shot me you know that that
00:12:39
was that was the woman who was rubbing
00:12:42
my back the guy hit me so hard that she
00:12:45
herself almost fell from the
00:12:48
reverberation of it yeah that's right he
00:12:51
he slapped me so hard my eyeballs fell
00:12:54
out and I I had to pick them up and put
00:12:56
them back in you all saw it you saw he
00:12:58
he slapped me so hard I I out the
00:13:01
side of my face two years ago yeah
00:13:03
that's how hard it was you saw it
00:13:06
everybody I felt it
00:13:12
you know
00:13:15
I thought that Rudy was lying about the
00:13:17
election being stolen because he was a
00:13:19
trump sycophant it turns out he just
00:13:20
lives in another world this is just his
00:13:22
brain and I will say in his defense in
00:13:25
his defense he was already in a weakened
00:13:28
State you know you have to acknowledge
00:13:30
that he was out during the day in a
00:13:32
store that sells garlic I mean you know
00:13:34
it was hard for him it was hard
00:13:40
outside

Description:

In the past few years, Rudy Giuliani has booked the wrong Four Seasons, leaked hair dye, appeared on The Masked Singer, and still had time to help Trump try to overthrow the election. The Daily Show pulls no punches when it comes to lawyer to the stars Rudy Giuliani. Subscribe to The Daily Show: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwWhs_6x42TyRM4Wstoq8HA/?sub_confirmation=1 Follow The Daily Show: Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheDailyShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thedailyshow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedailyshow Stream full episodes of The Daily Show on Paramount+: https://www.paramountplus.com/intl/?ftag=PPM-05-10aei0b Follow Comedy Central: Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComedyCentral Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ComedyCentral Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comedycentral Watch full episodes of The Daily Show: https://www.cc.com/shows/the-daily-show About The Daily Show: For over twenty-five years, the groundbreaking, Emmy and Peabody award-winning The Daily Show has entertained audiences each night with hilarious, provocative and insightful satire about our society that helps make sense of the world. The Daily Show redefined the late night show category on TV and, with an audience of over 44M across social media platforms, has become a launching pad for some of the biggest stars in entertainment. This next chapter of this iconic franchise showcases its diverse news team of correspondents and contributors, including Ronny Chieng, Michael Kosta, Desi Lydic, Dulcé Sloan, Roy Wood Jr., Lewis Black and Jordan Klepper, comedy greats as guests hosts, and interviews with influential and emerging voices from across society. The Daily Show airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central.

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