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Как сохранить здоровые отношения надолго

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Главная проблема, возникающая в отношениях

1:09

Самый главный секрет здоровых отношений- понимать, что партнер вам ничего не должен

3:53

Второй секрет здоровых отношений- уметь открыто говорить близкому человеку о том, что для вас важно

4:55

Третий секрет здоровых отношений- способность испытывать эмпатию

5:20

Зависимые отношения

6:17

Четвертый секрет здоровых отношений- командный подход к преодолению проблем в семье

7:45

Пятый секрет здоровых отношений- совместно проведенное приятное время и ресурсное состояние

12:26

Шестой секрет здоровых отношений- самооценка- любовь к себе

Открытая лекция по психологической грамотности Как сохранять внутреннее спокойствие / Анетта Орлова

Открытая лекция по психологической грамотности Как сохранять внутреннее спокойствие / Анетта Орлова

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Начало отношений. Что следует обсудить?

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уверенность

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most people dream about, certainly

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most women, and the

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first thing that probably dreams about this is that the most important thing for

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us is to determine that a relationship is not

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static and that the main problem

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that arises in a relationship is that

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one of the partners or both believe

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that if once they

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fell in love with each other

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and once they said to each other that

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yes, we chose I chose you or I

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chose you and we are in a relationship that this is

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enough to

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ensure the duration of this relationship

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stability is not so relationships are a

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process, and how every process always

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has periods of rise and fall, and how any

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process always develops in

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several different directions, and on the one

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hand, with the development of relationships, they

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become closer, more durable,

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this is one side of development, on the other

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hand, factors appear all the time

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that on the contrary, they violate its strength,

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probably the most important secret is

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to be in a relationship and at the same time

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understand that your partner does not owe you anything,

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such a seemingly strange

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formulation because basically

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relationships are destroyed precisely because of our

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expectations and this is a process that should

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be mutual when we meet

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another of a person, we automatically

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attribute a large number of

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advantages to him; moreover, we unconsciously

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complete these advantages; then we

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saw that the man is powerful, tall, we

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completed the construction, that he is responsible and he is a

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protector,

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he is powerful, and then we begin to expect

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from him that he realizes all these

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projections of ours; in fact, we filled a person with his

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own fantasies about him, in the same way

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a man meets a woman and

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Vitya in some of her Dostoevsky is

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important for him, all other facts

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are ignored, he is attributed and all possible

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advantages fall in love with his own

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deal, and

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then he dreams that all his

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projections will be realized by her all his

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fantasies all that he projected

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all his dreams from her and at the very beginning of

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the relationship due to falling in love due to

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biology when hormones work for this

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connection people cope very well with this

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they notice how

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similar they are they notice how much they

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love each other they have taste and are the same and

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it reaches the point of absurdity, this is how the

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so-

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called psychosis of falling in love works, but

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after a while we begin to

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notice how much the other person does not

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correspond to how we

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imagined them when we idealized them, and

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if at this moment at this moment we

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begin to demand from our partner

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what he should to us what we once

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dreamed about and how we

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fantasized about it, then just about a

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year and a half to two from the beginning of a

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two and a half to three relationship, the

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period begins when we begin

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to be disappointed,

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so

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the enchantment it always appears where

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initially we idealized the other

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person, we didn’t see him as someone else, we

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attributed to him qualities that we

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liked and then we want, or rather, in

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China, we must correspond to our

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own ideal that we

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created for ourselves in the first stages, so if we

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consider that the partner owes us and

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this is the requirement from partner so that he

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meets our primary expectations,

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mutual demands do not kill relationships,

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we must be able to openly tell our

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loved one that it is important for us not to

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withdraw within ourselves, not to attack him

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with aggressive accusations, but to

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speak openly through a message about what is

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important to me that we they were talking to you,

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it’s important for me that you and I have a quality conversation for 20 minutes a day

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and not

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each sit on our phones, for me it’s

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important not to tell him you’re bad,

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you’re on the phone all the time I’ve

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been waiting for you all day and you don’t want

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to talk to me I understood you, everything

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is clear with you, and he responded to you, I heard you,

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this formulation does not connect

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people, but if we say that it is important for me to

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talk with you for 20 minutes because I

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listened to you, I am in a good

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mood everywhere, it will be much more likely to be

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heard another person and in the same way

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when we speak and want to be

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heard, it is important that we are able to

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serve the other person. A very important

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secret of a good relationship is the ability to

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experience empathy, that is, the ability to

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stand in the shoes of another person, stand

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in his place and see how he

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feels that he understands what he feels

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because if people are able to experience

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empathy, then it is much easier for them to

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negotiate again, but it is important for us to find a

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balance to sacrifice oneself the thing is unprofitable

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after I sacrifice myself in fact I do not

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solve the problem and I do not solve the candy I

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just avoid conflicts ink I find a

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merger with you, I don’t have my own boundaries, I’m

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afraid to be open with you, I’m ready to

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sacrifice everything if only you don’t

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leave me, and this is also not an open,

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full-fledged relationship, this is a

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symbiotic dependent relationship in which there will be a

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lot of hostility because

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today I sacrificed tomorrow.

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and then I get angry at you and then I

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make claims, etc. and so on.

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therefore, the ability to speak openly about

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what is important to me is just as

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necessary as the ability to understand what is important

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to another person. It turns out that we

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must be able to maintain a balance of

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being in contact with our desires, on

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the other hand, we must be

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attentive to the desires of another person,

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and here it is you know, like in a game, that

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is, it seems like I have to think about strength,

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but it seems like me and the team here is a team

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approach when the family perceives itself as a

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kind of team,

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this is very important why because if

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problems arise in the family, they

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always arise if there is a pattern in the family

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overcoming problems when everyone gets together,

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defines a problem, then discusses

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together how to solve it, then

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thinks through clear steps for solutions,

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assigns roles to who will do what, and

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then compares the result without blaming

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the other person, then problems are resolved

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more easily if, when a problem arises, one

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of the partners keeps silent until the last

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moment

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and then confronts your

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spouse before the fact or your partner,

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this is bad because the one who is faced

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with the fact, he gets terribly angry if

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the problem has arisen, he does not share

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responsibility, but they are looking for someone to blame, you are to blame, you are to blame,

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you are to blame, then every

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time the family struggles with the

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problems it will increase hostility

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to the family,

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therefore, a team approach when overcoming

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problems and when we say we will

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cope together we did it

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well done they are you are to blame he is to blame it is

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because you did it that way all this is just

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the opposite destroys relationships of

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course a very important factor that

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helps people to be in good relationships

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this is a

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pleasant time spent together, but if we want

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our relationship to last, we must

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remember that in addition to how to solve

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problems, in addition to this, partners should

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have pleasant time with each other, that is,

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the partner should be associated with

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pleasure and not just with paying off a

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mortgage or repaying a loan,

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and this it means that sexual relationships

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are very important and a connecting link,

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so if in your relationship sex

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goes somewhere to the periphery, you should

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think about why and how

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this important spectrum is being squeezed out of

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your life, you need to think about this why

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because if people have harmonious

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sexual relations then they are

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much more accommodating to each other and when

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difficulties and problems arise, it is

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much easier to overcome them in those

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families where harmonious sexual

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relationships people make sacrifices more easily, and

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for men, sexual involvement

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is a very important factor for the

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stability of relationships; external wives,

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sexual involvement and health

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in that while for a woman, the key

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factors to what she reacts to, what is

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important to her are emotional closeness

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with a man and financial stability,

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so our task is to remember that the

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sexual sphere must be supported,

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but it is supported when people

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say something good to each other,

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touch each other, send

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some text messages of pleasant content,

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they praise each other, ask for advice and

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then follow this advice, that is, when

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during

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communication outside the bedroom people show

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each other positive signals in the

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language of psychology, they give out positive

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emotional strokes and then the

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person settles down and then the

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sex life is better and sometimes

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a scandal is not bad, but not very often,

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so where

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there is this pleasant time together,

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it’s nice and spending time with

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friends is walking, going

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somewhere together, also very much contributes to

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the harmony of relationships, and it’s important that

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each of the partners have their

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own interests, why because

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if partners are completely

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concentrated only on each other and

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here they are in such a merging in such a close

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they all do everything together, always only

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together and there is no separate realization, then at

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some point the sexual sphere will suffer greatly,

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again, each of the

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partners must realize themselves, in

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addition, not only sexual

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suffering suffers and the feeling of

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psychological comfort of the

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person himself, for some reason, if he does not have

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his own interests, he begins to

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lose his own space, which

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means we are moving towards symbiosis, and

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symbiosis is no longer a quality

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relationship, so every family should

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have quality time that people spend together

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positively without looking at

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gadgets and at the same time there should be

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time where

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both a woman and a man spend time

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separately and at the same time receive

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some kind of pleasure, but I’m not

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talking about going to the bathhouse with someone on the

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side, I’m now talking about what should

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be their own interests and the person comes

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home and he has more of his emotional

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resources and this emotional resource he

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also brings to the family,

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and of course you can’t be overloaded if a

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couple takes on too many

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obligations,

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if people overload themselves financially with

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some kind of long-term obligations

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or are workaholics who do not leave time

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to rest, then sooner or

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later this loss of

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resource outside will affect

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relationships, so remember that relationships

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are a very great value that we

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need to be able to invest time and effort and

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emotions and attention, and for this we

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must have a resource, find a balance between

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the investments you make in your

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family and in your family, this is very important because it

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often happens that a person

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gives him all the resources at work and there is nothing

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left for his family. Naturally, in this

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family, either the partner must be extremely

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tolerant of us or date himself

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constantly adding resources or at

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some point in such a family the

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quality of life drops and remember that it is important

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to take care of yourself why because

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self-esteem is what allows us to

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feel full

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self-worth if you don’t

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love yourself if you don’t treat yourself

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very well if you they are overly demanding of themselves,

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if you spread rot on yourself,

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then you and your partner will be

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treated the same way by people who don’t really love

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themselves, who don’t accept themselves, who

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have these serious complexes such as, let’s say,

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inferiority, it is very

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difficult for them to build harmonious relationships

00:13:04

because there are a lot of complaints about They

00:13:07

manifest themselves in the form of constant expectations

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from a partner, demands from a partner

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because he dreams that his partner

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will heal all his wounds,

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so try to perceive your

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partner not as parents who

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should solve everything, your task is if you

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feel that you are being offended, you do not value

00:13:24

you they don’t like you there, they don’t care enough

00:13:27

there, they somehow take care of you, think

00:13:30

maybe I need to understand myself,

00:13:32

maybe I don’t like myself very much, I don’t

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understand myself, maybe I

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devalue myself, I don’t respect myself that much

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and then there are problems not in a partner, not

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in a relationship, but in the way I

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treat you and I impose on my partner, I

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impose on my partner the same attitude towards

00:13:50

me, so I will introduce a large program on

00:13:52

self-esteem, we have an annual program, I

00:13:54

can say that when girls

00:13:57

themselves change, then their world around them will begin

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to change

00:14:02

Autonomous change in this world occurs automatically without

00:14:07

active participation, that is, it changes

00:14:09

itself and makes claims and says that

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you don’t love me enough, you are not

00:14:14

attentive enough, you don’t give me,

00:14:16

you don’t give me gifts, this thing is

00:14:18

ineffective, starting

00:14:19

changes from yourself, you change to yourself, you start to yourself

00:14:23

treat with love the same one

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who is next to you, whether you

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want or not, he takes from you and this is a

00:14:28

relationship and killing yourself is not about selfishness,

00:14:32

it’s about the fact that I accept myself with both

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my pluses and my minuses, but I am

00:14:37

dear to myself and I am to myself

00:14:40

value and then another person will

00:14:42

accept us in the same way

00:14:46

[music]

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Повышение уверенности в себе "САМООЦЕНКА 1.0" ➡️https://anettaschool.ru/kurs Ответьте на 5 вопросов и узнайте свой уровень самооценки https://mrqz.me/self-evolution Узнав себя, вы: 🔽 Построите счастливые здоровые отношения с партнером 🔽 Сделаете свою жизнь наполненной положительными эмоциями 🔽 Обретете внутреннюю свободу, почувствуете любовь к себе и к миру 💗 Навигация по видео: 00:00 Как сохранить здоровые отношения надолго 00:08 Главная проблема, возникающая в отношениях 1:09 Самый главный секрет здоровых отношений- понимать, что партнер вам ничего не должен 3:53 Второй секрет здоровых отношений- уметь открыто говорить близкому человеку о том, что для вас важно 4:55 Третий секрет здоровых отношений- способность испытывать эмпатию 5:20 Зависимые отношения 6:17 Четвертый секрет здоровых отношений- командный подход к преодолению проблем в семье 7:45 Пятый секрет здоровых отношений- совместно проведенное приятное время и ресурсное состояние 12:26 Шестой секрет здоровых отношений- самооценка- любовь к себе Отношения — это большая ценность, и, конечно, нам хочется, чтобы они были счастливые и длились долго. Многие ошибочно полагают, что если однажды люди приняли решение быть вместе, то это должно длиться вечно. Но отношения меняются вместе с нами, а значит спустя какое-то время неминуемо наступает момент, когда вы уже не чувствуете себя такими похожими и близкими. Большая ошибка — жертвовать собой и умалчивать о своих желаниях. Такая модель поведения никогда не приведет к здоровым отношениям: мы сдвигаем собственные границы, избегаем конфликтов, сливаемся с партнером и блокируем свои желания и потребности. В решении проблем семья должна быть командой: обсуждать, продумывать способы решения, распределять роли, анализировать результаты и, основное, — проявлять заинтересованность. В таком случае проблемы разрешаются просто. Важно обсудить проблему как только она появилась! Потому что если вы несколько раз промолчали, а потом поставили партнера перед фактом, это не разделяет ответственность за проблему. Это автоматически сталкивает всю вину на одного из партнеров. В результате такого поведения каждая следующая проблема будет восприниматься неадекватно и стабильные здоровые отношения будет сложно построить. ➤ Другие видео про отношения: Как понять, что мужчина настроен серьезно? Признаки серьезности отношений https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iCOXb0QTXE Отношения с перверзным нарциссом. Перверзный нарцисс признаки мужчина. Как общаться с нарциссом https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv6oPQh_0Lo Как понравиться мужчине чтобы он влюбился. Как заинтересовать мужчину в отношениях https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiofHYze7Qc Как простить измену? Mожно ли простить мужскую измену? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kjOePwTS2c Смотрите также: ➤ Плейлист эфиров на Радио Романтика "Личная территория с Анеттой Орловой" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HayzDjAc8w4&list=PLhy35CSiZVWNl96VmVR-k0YEqxp73SqEH ➤ Выпуски программы ОтЛичное мнение с Анеттой Орловой: Елена Ксенофонтова- про непростой характер, отношения с детьми и волшебное хобби https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmfou3UGpAE Ольга Еремеева. Про приюты для животных, мужа ветеринарного врача и особую миссию https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTvzGB_eVDI Яна Поплавская. Про сильных мужчин, магии имени Женя, любви к людям и ошибки https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyGtxT5hRCk Я благодарна вам за активную обратную связь по прошлым выпускам! Вижу, как вам откликается, и это вдохновляет меня развивать проект! Подписывайтесь, жмите на 🔔 чтобы не пропустить новые видео https://www.youtube.com/c/AnettaOrlova?sub_confirmation=1 💬 Встретимся в моих соц. сетях: ➤ ➤ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@anettaorlova ➤ Telegram https://t.me/anettaorlova Онлайн-школа Анетты Орловой SelfEvolution http://anettaschool.ru/ Школы Self-Evolution 👐 Консультации http://anettaorlova.com/ 🤝 Реклама и предложения [email protected] Делитесь этим видео с друзьями: Как сохранить здоровые отношения надолго https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAnhCwnu8V0

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