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00:00:01
for a new episode of you inspire me
00:00:03
and for an interview and obviously
00:00:05
inspiring of an extraordinary journey
00:00:08
since I am accompanied by Olivia
00:00:10
who will tell us and indeed
00:00:14
her transition you also come back from
00:00:16
Thailand yes I have just returned
00:00:18
from Thailand where I had a
00:00:20
vaginoplasty it's a
00:00:22
sex change in fact that is to say that we
00:00:24
eliminate the male sex to have a
00:00:26
female sex it's is therefore a change of
00:00:28
sex but also a change of life that
00:00:30
I invite you to discover today
00:00:31
through this testimony in the new
00:00:33
episode of you inspire me
00:00:35
[Music]
00:00:41
[Music]
00:00:52
hello olivia her sleds and reindeer thank you
00:00:55
for having me at your place so to
00:00:58
tell us about your testimony about
00:01:01
your transition was seen a few
00:01:04
weeks ago now with mutual friends
00:01:05
we have already talked a lot and
00:01:07
it's true that I wanted to do
00:01:08
this episode with you because we are
00:01:11
in a completely accepted transition
00:01:12
but it has not always been very easy
00:01:14
you are going to tell us your journey
00:01:16
today already the first question
00:01:18
how are you it is going very well but
00:01:21
really very very well I am in a
00:01:23
state of well-being that I thought was
00:01:26
absolutely not possible in fact I have
00:01:29
just returned from
00:01:30
Thailand where I had a
00:01:32
sex change so I knew you
00:01:34
as Olivier that can be a
00:01:36
problem for some people who
00:01:38
have therefore changed gender that we are talking about
00:01:40
what we call the day2 name you it is
00:01:42
something that you completely assume
00:01:44
having been olivier to be today
00:01:46
olivia almost all
00:01:48
French people say it all the time time their
00:01:50
income remember their famous des de
00:01:52
nîmes that is to say the name she had
00:01:53
before it is very very violent for her for
00:01:55
me it is different that is to say I am
00:01:56
lucky to have been very well publicized before
00:01:59
and I am very proud of what I have done
00:02:00
I have released novels under the name
00:02:02
Olivier I have photo exhibitions of
00:02:05
films I have no desire to
00:02:06
delete it I have not wanted to to remove it
00:02:07
and I'm very proud of Olivier that's why
00:02:09
the first name Olivia is so
00:02:11
close so I knew you there
00:02:12
as a photographer under the name that's
00:02:16
Olivier if there isn't we let's
00:02:18
talk frankly when I saw you you
00:02:21
were very virile 1 with a lot of
00:02:23
hair on your chest your tattoos which are
00:02:25
still there but a look here is very
00:02:27
pronounced very masculine that is also
00:02:29
with the dress and it's
00:02:32
true that I I was very surprised to
00:02:34
discover this transition on social networks,
00:02:36
the fact of wanting
00:02:38
to become a woman because at no
00:02:40
time would I have thought that someone
00:02:43
so masculine and who also seems to me
00:02:45
totally, how to say, in harmony
00:02:47
with his type might want to
00:02:50
change what happened
00:02:53
I want to say I have the impression that
00:02:55
it was a bit sudden but not at all
00:02:59
in reality no in fact it's been more than
00:03:01
25 years that I wanted to do it
00:03:04
except that I didn't have the courage at all
00:03:06
I was waiting for several things I was
00:03:08
already waiting for my parents to die so I
00:03:09
could do it I was raised in
00:03:11
physical and mental torture and that
00:03:15
means that I I told myself if I make a
00:03:17
transition they will use it as a
00:03:18
completely valid hand and make fun of
00:03:20
me non-stop so I was waiting I
00:03:23
said to myself so I will do it when they are no
00:03:24
longer here I was so scared I I was
00:03:26
so afraid of the looks of others
00:03:27
I was so afraid that people would make fun of
00:03:28
me I was so afraid that people would
00:03:30
ridicule me that they would invalidate me I was
00:03:32
so afraid of being more pleasing that
00:03:34
suddenly I got into the field
00:03:35
of a kind of performance of an ideal guy
00:03:38
perfect
00:03:40
muscles and virile who does boxing which
00:03:43
becomes a bit of a kind of
00:03:45
pure fantasy to bequeath my whole life was
00:03:48
a performance in fact so when you
00:03:50
saw me I was in performance you
00:03:51
decided to move from Olivier to Olivia what does it
00:03:54
start with what was the
00:03:56
first the first change so the
00:03:59
first step in France in fact is
00:04:01
that you have to go see a psychologist I
00:04:03
saw two or three months but who must
00:04:06
write a letter in fact which validates which
00:04:09
says here this person is not crazy
00:04:11
law of problems whatever it is and
00:04:13
I accept and I hate games and games and I
00:04:16
am the fact that is there she can have
00:04:18
hormones in fact it's still
00:04:20
crazy to prove that we're not crazy
00:04:21
it's not proving that we're not crazy
00:04:22
it's that in fact when we want to ask for
00:04:24
non-doctrinal hormones log we
00:04:27
have to that they have a psychologist who tells us
00:04:28
yes ok it's good this person there
00:04:30
she is actually what she does
00:04:31
to what we can have otherwise someone
00:04:33
who could in a
00:04:35
temporary desire but who could be
00:04:38
potentially dangerous in fact for
00:04:39
her I started taking
00:04:40
estrogens I started taking
00:04:42
progesterone I started blocking
00:04:44
testosterone and as a result having my body
00:04:46
feminize to see the breasts
00:04:47
growing to have the hairs that stop
00:04:49
growing my chest will still grow
00:04:51
normally for two years there is a
00:04:52
mammary gland inside there is even
00:04:54
milk in the breasts and there is
00:04:57
a whole distribution of fats which
00:04:58
takes place in the body but I
00:04:59
didn't have this body at all before in
00:05:01
fact so there is a body which becomes
00:05:03
completely feminine buttocks which
00:05:04
become feminine there is everything which is
00:05:05
built gradually I
00:05:07
went to Thailand in July and so
00:05:08
I spent almost two months there
00:05:11
in a hospital to do my
00:05:13
change my sex change mind
00:05:16
vaginoplasty exactly a
00:05:18
vaginoplasty that's it I wanted
00:05:19
to go there because the best
00:05:22
surgeon in the world is there and that he
00:05:23
is ten or even twenty years ahead of
00:05:25
France, that is to say that today I can have
00:05:27
a vaginal orgasm a
00:05:29
clitoral orgasm I am capable
00:05:31
of having a vagina that lubricates if I am
00:05:34
excited the ph of the lubrication that
00:05:37
I have exactly the same ph as a
00:05:39
female vagina it's the same taste it's
00:05:41
the same smell it's fascinating you see it
00:05:44
goes as far as the taste at the ph is crazy yes in
00:05:47
France also no because because
00:05:50
there -low in fact this surgeon has made a
00:05:52
brand new technique which is called
00:05:53
the peritoneum is the peritoneum it is the
00:05:55
same membrane in fact as the vagina which
00:05:58
is something which before the
00:05:59
intestines or in France the technique
00:06:01
still the most used it's the
00:06:02
colon technique and so when
00:06:05
you have a colon when you have a colon a
00:06:08
piece of the colon in the lower vagina
00:06:12
it doesn't smell very good it never smells very
00:06:14
good from what I understand and what's
00:06:16
more we could have hemorrhoids
00:06:17
in the vagina so it's not really
00:06:19
very cool the whole penis in fact and using all
00:06:22
the nerves are used are returned
00:06:24
inside to suddenly create the vagina
00:06:26
and there is no there is no
00:06:28
stitches there is nothing there is it's exactly
00:06:31
as if they always knew they were there the
00:06:33
skin in fact of the testicles
00:06:34
becomes in fact the big lips if you
00:06:37
want
00:06:38
the small lips in fact the outside
00:06:41
is suddenly it's is there it's the penis
00:06:44
inside there is a part which is
00:06:46
made by the glans and the clitoris
00:06:48
in fact and therefore made by the by the
00:06:50
glans so ccjc fascinating it's great
00:06:53
and you're at the end I I have all my
00:06:54
feelings as before how much does
00:06:55
vaginoplasty cost in Thailand the one
00:06:57
I did is the one that costs the
00:06:58
most since it is a new
00:07:00
technique it is about
00:07:01
average with a little more than 15,000
00:07:03
euros the operation will last approximately it
00:07:06
seems to me that it lasts eight hours if I
00:07:07
remember correctly under
00:07:08
general anesthesia well yes completely under
00:07:10
general anesthesia on
00:07:12
social networks I came across a
00:07:14
rather amusing little anecdote that you tell
00:07:15
in video or apparently the surgeon
00:07:18
so in Thailand was a little bit
00:07:20
taken aback let's say by
00:07:21
the size of your male genital organ I was
00:07:25
so panicked when
00:07:27
when it happened because the
00:07:30
surgeon didn't know how
00:07:31
many time it could take to
00:07:32
heal in fact that is to say he
00:07:35
had been right until now in fact
00:07:37
all the sexes who had seen it were
00:07:38
smaller than mine even if he loses it on
00:07:41
people at the international
00:07:44
who come in fact from all the countries
00:07:46
he was in a kind
00:07:48
of incomprehension a little bit to
00:07:50
say the healing can take between
00:07:52
two months and a year it's not at all
00:07:53
how it can be done so I prefer to
00:07:55
warn you by in relation to that and
00:07:57
suddenly I was I was completely disappointed
00:07:59
because I I said to myself if it does
00:08:02
n't heal if there is anything
00:08:04
if there is a problem and all that could be
00:08:06
it could be really annoying this
00:08:08
difficult case afterwards is that in fact
00:08:10
during I
00:08:12
will have to do this for a
00:08:14
year one hour in the morning and one hour in the
00:08:15
evening in fact I have to do what is
00:08:17
called a dilation because the
00:08:19
body considers that the vagina in fact
00:08:20
it is an open wound which must close
00:08:22
and therefore it is necessary with a
00:08:25
dilator which makes it the motorcycle race and
00:08:27
a dildo it is necessary to re-open it is necessary to push
00:08:31
and re-open this wound it's a
00:08:33
pain in rhymes it's is unbearable
00:08:35
that is to say that I am here I am trembling
00:08:38
I am in pain I have tears flowing where
00:08:41
it is going it is during the
00:08:44
first weeks when I do them that in
00:08:46
these terms when their was over I
00:08:48
collapsed and fell asleep for
00:08:50
three hours to recover we are
00:08:51
given in fact
00:08:53
something like that in fact with a
00:08:55
dock of different sizes and every
00:08:57
month we have to increase the size in fact
00:08:59
of the dgi the earth so that for example
00:09:01
it's the last one it will be the biggest
00:09:04
that you need so you have to be able to
00:09:07
pose for an hour in fact
00:09:09
inside there so this kit is therefore
00:09:13
over there in Thailand l the hospital leaves the
00:09:16
provided yes it is even written the name of
00:09:18
the hospital which is the name of the surgeon
00:09:19
who is called that a flight then to the cake
00:09:21
of 6 so it is yes it is the hospital which
00:09:24
me gave it and there are certainly
00:09:26
France for whom it is delicate because they
00:09:29
come from certain countries and
00:09:31
I have seen some there where trans identity
00:09:33
is prohibited or the objects can be
00:09:36
considered as a sexual object are
00:09:37
also prohibited so that girls who
00:09:39
came from Kuwait to have a
00:09:41
vaginoplasty and who had to find a
00:09:43
whole stratagem to be able to
00:09:45
bring it back there by tucking it
00:09:47
inside two cushions to make it
00:09:50
appear that it is a frame and finally
00:09:52
it was something completely crazy which
00:09:53
I was lucky the bad is put back in
00:09:55
the room a little vip and after a
00:09:58
certain time you have to do that in
00:09:59
your room so I asked to
00:10:01
all the cards at the bottom came we do
00:10:02
this together we all stand in a circle
00:10:04
like that and we do our
00:10:06
vaginal sessions together and it's
00:10:08
more fun and so we're there we
00:10:10
shout one two three and we all press
00:10:12
together and suddenly everyone laughs
00:10:14
while shouting what I have
00:10:16
completely lost all my modesty because
00:10:17
I had to show myself around fifty
00:10:19
people in Thailand between the
00:10:20
surgeon his assistants the
00:10:22
nurses the photographer of the
00:10:24
clinic who comes who must check that
00:10:26
cissé has no evolution from one time to
00:10:28
the next the suffocating trainees there
00:10:30
were so many people who see us
00:10:32
girls and between us we
00:10:33
show it to each other to see the difference the
00:10:35
things so finally I
00:10:38
actually discovered my new gender with
00:10:40
no more modesty at all and so that
00:10:43
doesn't shock me at all when I
00:10:45
go to see my friends and they want
00:10:46
to see the result, it's all about them.
00:10:48
show I communicated so much
00:10:50
whether in the press or on
00:10:51
social networks in relation to this
00:10:53
change of sex and she said
00:10:54
to explain that as soon as I returned
00:10:55
everyone you want to see my
00:10:58
vagina in done I have my I was there for
00:11:00
five minutes I have my concierge who
00:11:01
knocked on the door where we could
00:11:03
see I have my neighbors who asked me
00:11:05
when I go to the bar downstairs the owner of the
00:11:08
bar québec mikaël the same you showed it to
00:11:09
delphine words us if we want to see
00:11:11
necessarily I created a kind of
00:11:12
curious on the part of
00:11:14
all these people there and elsewhere
00:11:15
which I also show them to you yes well I
00:11:18
I remember it, having never
00:11:19
seen one in my life, I was a little bit stunned,
00:11:23
well yes, it's sure it's surprising,
00:11:27
but suddenly
00:11:30
it's funny what we have the impression of
00:11:31
that people see you a little bit
00:11:33
like a beast twice finally here you
00:11:34
showed it to delphine you have to
00:11:35
show it to me it doesn't bother me
00:11:38
it would have me then his death is
00:11:40
completely disturbed before it is
00:11:42
in relation to my soul announced that those
00:11:45
of men
00:11:46
certainly it would have bothered me in the
00:11:48
same way if I ever grew up
00:11:50
as a woman there it is different that is to say
00:11:52
that from the beginning from the first day when
00:11:54
we a vagina there are all these people
00:11:56
who see it as I said between the
00:11:58
surgeon the whole team and all the
00:12:01
nurses so immediately it
00:12:03
becomes something to show my mother
00:12:05
immediately asked me for photos to
00:12:07
see how it is it was every day I
00:12:08
saw it I woke up I saw a
00:12:09
photo of it for my mother to show her
00:12:10
the progress of the healing
00:12:11
finally you had to wait until
00:12:14
you had started this operation in
00:12:16
Thailand to get closer to your mother
00:12:19
well in fact what happened is that
00:12:22
yes, I had cut ties for
00:12:24
several years with my mother because we
00:12:25
had a relationship that was
00:12:26
toxic for her it was easier
00:12:29
to come back to me with a transition
00:12:32
because it's as if she had a new child, it's as if she is
00:12:34
more olive than there was a new
00:12:35
child who was born and as a result it
00:12:37
made it possible to no longer have to
00:12:39
deal with the mistakes of the past we're starting from
00:12:42
scratch to be able to start from scratch so
00:12:44
maybe it was
00:12:45
actually simpler like that to recreate links but
00:12:48
it's surprising to have cut ties
00:12:50
with your mother and then finally
00:12:51
almost sent her all the days a photo
00:12:52
of her vagina
00:12:53
it was not bad the years
00:12:55
do not have what had happened several
00:12:57
months already or little by little she
00:13:00
still became my confidant over
00:13:02
time so at the time when
00:13:04
I I had the operation, she was already
00:13:06
my confidante at that time, you see,
00:13:08
so it wasn't like that, it didn't happen
00:13:09
overnight after the
00:13:10
vaginoplasty, so there will be
00:13:13
other changes that will be
00:13:15
made. I think you are going to take
00:13:18
lessons to feminize the voice,
00:13:21
can you explain to us how this will be
00:13:22
done and how what is the continuation of
00:13:24
the physical transformation and
00:13:26
also low vocals also perhaps
00:13:29
lessons to have manners more
00:13:31
feminine what is planned there in
00:13:34
fact I did my first lesson yesterday in
00:13:36
speech therapy so to
00:13:37
feminize my voice so it is work
00:13:39
that will be done over a year and a half it
00:13:40
seems to me roughly that is to say this is
00:13:42
how it happens we learn to speak
00:13:43
a little more d gül that is to say that in
00:13:45
fact the way left in relation to the
00:13:48
losses that is to say that a
00:13:49
male voice for everything the world goes between
00:13:51
100 and 150 m a female voice varies between
00:13:54
150 and 200 and so the idea is
00:13:58
of these two to manage to go up to
00:14:00
200 hertz in fact that is so that in the
00:14:02
head of n no matter who
00:14:03
hears, we come across a feminine voice,
00:14:05
it's exercises where you have to read it
00:14:07
or you have to make head boxes,
00:14:09
chest voices or you have to
00:14:11
modulate your voice, breathing exercises,
00:14:12
that's it. there will be a
00:14:15
surgery in fact of bits of
00:14:16
feminization of the face which will take
00:14:18
into account the hormones will have stopped
00:14:20
their work so my face will in
00:14:22
fact stop evolving
00:14:24
as for it to already have a
00:14:26
more feminine gait
00:14:28
I don't believe that there are any course for
00:14:30
that so it's up to me to do this
00:14:33
work this work alone so
00:14:36
it's still a long-
00:14:37
term job ah yes yes it's a it's a
00:14:39
job it's a job of several
00:14:41
years for what we say is that we are in
00:14:42
transition, I'm not saying that I'm a
00:14:44
trans woman, I'm saying that I'm in
00:14:45
transition, and if, however, you no
00:14:50
longer want to have a vagina in the
00:14:51
next few years, all that now
00:14:52
is is irreversible, that is to say that your
00:14:55
male sex no longer exists, we
00:14:57
cannot go back ah no no, it is
00:15:00
an operation which is completely
00:15:02
which is completely fixed, which means
00:15:04
that it is over it's it's like an
00:15:07
ablation in fact it's not scary not
00:15:10
a single second not a single second
00:15:11
of hesitation
00:15:12
apartment where I made my decision
00:15:14
it was it was only happiness in fact
00:15:16
and therefore never ever it seems
00:15:19
so inconceivable to me to want
00:15:21
to go back not for a second to be
00:15:25
a woman today to go to the
00:15:27
toilet
00:15:28
we don't necessarily think about it directly
00:15:30
but I imagine that it must be very
00:15:31
destabilizing
00:15:34
it's true that I for 42 years ago
00:15:37
I was on the slopes yesterday standing and
00:15:41
so every time I go to
00:15:42
go to the toilet I owe it to no
00:15:43
it's true it's not like that I
00:15:46
have to sit down now and so
00:15:47
I I always have a few short seconds
00:15:48
of bugs in fact where I go to go to
00:15:51
urinate in order to eat it
00:15:53
well no it's not like that and it's
00:15:56
still happening to me after a month and a
00:15:58
half almost two months after the operation
00:16:00
I still have this reflex
00:16:03
which is normal since I had you for
00:16:05
so long
00:16:07
I think the tube was actually removed for
00:16:09
urinating after about ten days and
00:16:12
I had very scared at first because I did
00:16:14
n't know how to give the signal to
00:16:16
my body to urinate I didn't know I
00:16:18
was there I was lost I
00:16:19
was for several minutes
00:16:20
I was sitting on the toilet and I
00:16:22
wanted to to cry you do and everything is suddenly it
00:16:25
works and then I collapsed in
00:16:28
tears or g g it was really the point
00:16:31
you I felt very
00:16:32
strange women but it's still my body
00:16:35
managed to give the signal to urinate there
00:16:37
for once it's something
00:16:38
completely new
00:16:39
giving a signal to your brain to
00:16:42
do an action that is related to the
00:16:44
vagina yesterday I went for the first
00:16:45
time to a bar with friends and lovers
00:16:48
I wanted going to the toilet was
00:16:50
disgusting and I never I
00:16:51
will get down to it that I was a
00:16:53
little in balance and there is where you
00:16:56
really have to dare to paper the merchant's thing
00:16:58
that it's a
00:16:59
different organization from 'before where it's less fun
00:17:01
because it's true that when we're one
00:17:03
but we go to the toilet we don't touch
00:17:04
much of anything there obviously you have to
00:17:07
sit down you suddenly understand completely
00:17:08
now the problem of your friends
00:17:12
that you perhaps didn't understand before
00:17:13
when you were still armed men said
00:17:15
there are lots of things on which I
00:17:17
understand the problems of my friends
00:17:18
cetc
00:17:20
it's more than the vagina it's much
00:17:22
more than the vagina and that the and knows
00:17:25
the look of the waters in the rue de tours
00:17:28
I have a billion anecdotes that change
00:17:30
every day
00:17:32
between everything stupid I was I was
00:17:34
just starting to put on a dress I lived in
00:17:36
Pontoise I come home at midnight I go up the
00:17:39
end of the hill to go to my house
00:17:41
he played a car that passes in front of
00:17:42
me and the guy says hello to you in 42 years
00:17:45
when we have a guy in time a guy
00:17:46
hugs us car it's because he's a
00:17:47
friend so I without thinking I say
00:17:49
hello to him and the pile the car is
00:17:52
going backwards and the guy says to me I don't want
00:17:54
it to take you home I screwed up tilt and you
00:17:57
see it's was completely new
00:17:59
and I didn't have how to do it I do
00:18:00
n't know how to get rid of gt gt I had just said
00:18:03
hello to him what are you so the
00:18:04
only thing I found was to
00:18:05
take a super deep voice to
00:18:08
scare him a little and tell him no thank you
00:18:09
but but but c is that things
00:18:12
like that all the time every day
00:18:13
everything changes every time I take
00:18:15
my apps now I understand
00:18:16
girls and something else too we are
00:18:19
completely subject to the injunction of guys
00:18:21
all the time you go to a site of
00:18:23
flirting
00:18:24
when you actually present yourself as a
00:18:26
woman the guys you talk to
00:18:29
tell you things that no one
00:18:31
would have allowed themselves to say to me before well you
00:18:33
see very stupid things a guy
00:18:36
for example who tells me that he says well
00:18:38
that are you doing
00:18:39
everyone last Thursday morning I have my
00:18:40
coffee mbia it's good you have your coffee
00:18:42
comminges and from the bottom I like to
00:18:44
make myself a cappuccino there I
00:18:46
swirl the milk and I makes a name a
00:18:47
coffee is not counted like that a coffee is
00:18:49
taken tight run in sugar I
00:18:52
want to tell him but man you wait that
00:18:54
I have I am 42 years old was teaching
00:18:55
me how to take a coffee
00:18:56
times that I have never tried them is in
00:18:58
fact and it is that things like that
00:18:59
serve as a parent I say I
00:19:02
write if you want us to start the
00:19:05
discussion everything tell me you are 10
00:19:07
favorite films that will say more than to start
00:19:08
a conversation will be more interesting
00:19:10
and then the guys tell you so there is this
00:19:12
film called The Godfather I
00:19:14
think you don't know you haven't seen it
00:19:16
they take for finally that is to say that
00:19:18
in their heads a girl she's stupid
00:19:19
it's here but damn it's crazy I
00:19:21
find it fascinating to say but
00:19:23
that's what women go through all
00:19:25
the time i.e. they have to
00:19:26
communicate with men that it
00:19:29
is that he considers them as
00:19:32
inferior that has never happened to me I
00:19:34
see things on a daily basis that
00:19:37
shock me ten times more than when before
00:19:39
I was a man finally I am at the
00:19:40
pharmacy a few days ago and I
00:19:43
'm going to look at the price of
00:19:45
sanitary napkins to look at
00:19:47
the devil a little I would like to take
00:19:48
organic sanitary napkins without
00:19:50
chemicals and inside
00:19:51
when I saw the price I said to myself
00:19:54
but it's good but it's a scandal
00:19:56
it's a scandal it's known if it had
00:19:59
the men had had to but
00:20:02
sanitary towels but it would
00:20:03
already have been reimbursed by the social security
00:20:05
even the organic services they would be
00:20:06
reimbursed by the social security you see the
00:20:08
women have to pay all the time
00:20:09
astronomical astronomical sums it's
00:20:12
I was looking at making extensions in
00:20:14
the hair you are you go out 1800 ball you
00:20:17
do your nails and where are you sure 60
00:20:18
balls for these prices never waves
00:20:21
we spend sums like that's what we're
00:20:22
talking about precisely that the
00:20:24
genetic guests all that positive point one will
00:20:27
not have your period no I will not have my
00:20:28
period but but during the
00:20:30
healing part I need services
00:20:32
gimmicks that's it but you won't have we're
00:20:35
going to say the stomach aches that
00:20:37
women can have when their
00:20:38
periods arrive with their permanent cycles that's
00:20:42
where they don't feel well that's
00:20:43
still a big advantage
00:20:45
yes it's an advantage I won't have my
00:20:47
period I won't I wouldn't be able to get
00:20:48
pregnant, that's for sure, so I won't have
00:20:51
all these disadvantages, all these
00:20:53
disadvantages well beyond not being
00:20:54
able to get pregnant as a result,
00:20:56
given that we hear the testicles being lifted,
00:20:57
you won't be able to with the
00:20:59
sperm suddenly make a child aroui I
00:21:01
am I know it perfectly I had
00:21:03
no desire to have a child something
00:21:05
that we are already in a world which is
00:21:06
completely overpopulated I was offered to
00:21:08
freeze but spermatozoa
00:21:10
before doing this operation and
00:21:12
at the last moment I canceled in fact
00:21:14
not even precaution no we are going to talk
00:21:16
now about the aspect a little bit
00:21:18
so sexuality so you will soon have
00:21:23
as soon as you can indicate the
00:21:24
healing that's it is suddenly finished
00:21:27
sexual intercourse as a
00:21:28
woman are you dreading is what
00:21:31
you say is prepared game so well
00:21:34
today
00:21:35
I am so fulfilled in fact that suddenly
00:21:40
I don't even need to prepare
00:21:42
or 'thinking about it very strangely sex
00:21:44
was really my priority when I was
00:21:46
a guy is here today I I I do
00:21:50
n't know my priority at all but but for
00:21:52
all that it will happen yes certainly of
00:21:53
course but in any case I won't do
00:21:56
n't think and I don't even care a bit, not even
00:21:59
sure it will be there
00:22:01
is no way to say a will
00:22:03
all the same to want to do that with
00:22:04
someone with whom we have confidence
00:22:05
for our first time and this
00:22:07
discovery is not there I I have a bit of
00:22:10
everyone wanting to be my first ah well
00:22:13
that is to say those who beat the guys
00:22:17
with whom I talk every time I
00:22:18
absolutely want to be your first volume
00:22:20
agen well yes except that you need
00:22:21
me choose a moment is in fact
00:22:23
and in fact I have not made my choice at all
00:22:26
and what will determine this choice
00:22:30
I absolutely do not know what and I
00:22:33
absolutely do not know what will determine
00:22:34
my choice I still have two months to
00:22:35
decide so there I am, I'm still stressed,
00:22:39
not absolutely not for a single
00:22:41
second, not at all, no, it's a k
00:22:43
way, but one day it's going to be
00:22:45
quite unique in terms of new
00:22:46
sensations, perhaps never felt in
00:22:49
this moment is every day a
00:22:50
completely new day so there are so many
00:22:53
new things, so many things that
00:22:54
change that I'm more close to that in
00:22:56
fact when you walk today the
00:22:58
stairs the street all that given that
00:23:00
it's is not yet well healed it's
00:23:01
painful daily currently yeah
00:23:03
it's painful it for example you see
00:23:04
I make disproportionate efforts to be
00:23:06
like that in fact I press I
00:23:08
squeeze on my lips and try violent
00:23:11
and normally I I have my legs very
00:23:12
wide apart even when I
00:23:15
walk I have my legs very wide apart it
00:23:16
will last several weeks hence the
00:23:18
fall in an effort that for you on
00:23:22
your identity document it is Olivier or
00:23:23
Olivia it should being olivia but as
00:23:26
I'm a big lazy person it's
00:23:27
still olivier because I'm tired
00:23:29
and that's no problem at the airport,
00:23:31
let's just come back from Thailand
00:23:32
these weird arts - you look at Paris
00:23:36
no but even here you see when I
00:23:38
arrived at the airport even when I
00:23:40
left the airport here I was in a
00:23:41
dress and everything I want long I show a
00:23:43
photo I have a shaved head and the guy
00:23:45
apatite schools well I don't know where I
00:23:48
say to myself you can travel with
00:23:51
your sister's passport maybe they will understand
00:23:52
very well what you're doing yes yes it's true
00:23:55
but they didn't ask me any questions or
00:23:56
didn't look at me strangely or anything yes
00:23:59
it's true it could totally
00:24:00
be a low key someone else
00:24:02
is in doubt I think that there is a certain modesty also in not asking for
00:24:04
explanations I felt no
00:24:06
kind of hesitation of 1st or thank you
00:24:08
opens the breach to the point of not taking the
00:24:10
control halls airports but
00:24:12
why did you choose
00:24:14
so well here's to do this operation
00:24:16
to have a vagina what you also want
00:24:19
well here's changing gender without
00:24:22
necessarily changing sex me it turns out
00:24:25
that I needed I needed that
00:24:27
for me for me to
00:24:30
move forward in my journey in my novel
00:24:33
in my then I know that we Normandy
00:24:35
palms transformations but it's a
00:24:37
bit of a transformation all the same you
00:24:38
see in this transition the ddt
00:24:40
the change of sex was very
00:24:43
important maybe it happened in a
00:24:45
much bigger way than
00:24:46
all my trance friends that I
00:24:48
know who will wait much
00:24:49
longer to do it yes it's true
00:24:51
it happened extremely quickly and it was
00:24:53
a need especially it is a vital need
00:24:56
I have always loved men I have
00:24:57
always loved women I love
00:24:59
men's bodies I love women's bodies
00:25:01
but personally when I look
00:25:03
in the mirror and I see the body
00:25:05
of a woman with a man's penis
00:25:06
I feel fulfilled I felt
00:25:09
completely lost that is to say that
00:25:11
a year ago I had no problem I loved
00:25:13
looking at myself in the mirror from the
00:25:15
moment my body became was transformed into a
00:25:16
woman's party I no longer dared to show myself
00:25:18
naked to anyone because there was an
00:25:21
imbalance there was something that
00:25:22
wasn't working I have trans friends
00:25:24
who told me but you're completely
00:25:25
screwed shouldn't do it because you ca
00:25:27
n't even imagine the number of
00:25:29
straight men who actually fantasize
00:25:32
about us about trans people and
00:25:33
as there are very few of us sometimes for
00:25:36
example you go to a flirting site
00:25:37
but who are they are you see when you
00:25:39
are gay but they keep them from traveling
00:25:41
1 km to come see you when you are a
00:25:43
trans person but who can travel 500
00:25:44
km to come see you you go so there are
00:25:47
so few of us that suddenly there are seven there is
00:25:49
this obsession on the part of certain
00:25:51
people but which I associated with
00:25:52
a fetishization with an ication objective
00:25:55
you see that is to say the woman lives and
00:25:58
sam sam I could not arrive I said to myself in a
00:26:00
way I could not put myself naked
00:26:01
in front of someone if I have the body of a
00:26:03
woman and I have a I have a
00:26:05
man's penis which is funny it's the
00:26:06
only thing that changes is that before
00:26:07
I had either relationships with
00:26:09
gay men or with straight women
00:26:11
and so now that's a drink
00:26:12
that means that now it will be either
00:26:13
with straight men or with
00:26:16
lesbian women when I look
00:26:17
in the mirror today I I have
00:26:19
the impression of being a hybrid between a
00:26:20
man and a woman, I don't find myself at
00:26:22
all attractive at all, you see,
00:26:25
and what surprises me is to see to
00:26:26
what extent
00:26:28
I suddenly suffer what
00:26:32
women endure
00:26:33
from being followed in the subway
00:26:36
to being lit up to do and where I
00:26:38
say to myself wow that had never happened to me
00:26:40
as a guy is so I say to myself that's when
00:26:42
we are when we are gay potentially
00:26:44
we can please what 2 to 5% of the
00:26:46
population and I have the impression that
00:26:48
when you are trans you can actually please
00:26:50
a percentage which is much
00:26:51
much larger of guys of guys
00:26:53
actually straight I see damage in the
00:26:56
street in the metro as a gay you say
00:26:59
there to him when I see his face I change
00:27:00
the sidewalk because there he
00:27:02
really has the end of the potential homophobic face
00:27:04
while when you are
00:27:06
low trans it's the complete opposite the guy comes
00:27:09
starts to smile to flirt with
00:27:10
everything and I say to myself wow there is
00:27:12
finally between the homophobes and
00:27:14
the people attracted to trans
00:27:16
know the trans lover we are perhaps
00:27:17
not far from the same profile in fact
00:27:20
it's true that there are certain profiles
00:27:21
certain type of guy you see who
00:27:23
actually do as they say city guy
00:27:25
who before they see I would
00:27:27
really have freaked out seeing them
00:27:29
passing them in the street and there I see
00:27:31
that they are the fact that I am trans on
00:27:34
their payroll right away so
00:27:37
it's telling me well [ __ ]
00:27:39
there I'm being picked up
00:27:41
by someone who
00:27:43
maybe broke a few months ago wow it's
00:27:44
enough enough it's quite destabilizing I
00:27:47
feel in any case much safer
00:27:48
walking around Paris at night
00:27:51
being a trans girl than
00:27:53
being Ahmed gay it's crazy
00:27:55
and so much the better for you you know it I imagine
00:27:58
as my guys you see there are lots
00:28:00
of places where there is damage sometimes
00:28:02
that you think study or where I don't
00:28:03
know I change the sidewalk I
00:28:05
malign the attacks against against
00:28:08
gays and lesbians are a
00:28:09
real reality in fact and so it's
00:28:11
a fear that we have which is quite constant
00:28:14
and which I no longer have at all today
00:28:16
actually the only place where I do
00:28:18
n't really feel is ultimately there in
00:28:20
Paris it's the swamp you don't see what
00:28:22
as much I have no rejection at all from those
00:28:25
around me from my community on
00:28:26
social networks
00:28:28
but the gays mass cutud very
00:28:32
virile voice tattooed bearded shaved head and gentle
00:28:35
who before me had accepted into their
00:28:37
club a little vip today its there is
00:28:40
perhaps a lot of misogyny in there
00:28:41
that you see but they
00:28:42
recorded a month of mockery because
00:28:44
I am not a splendid woman and
00:28:46
where there is no verbal violence precisely at
00:28:49
this moment it's a lot of talk in
00:28:50
the media on social networks the
00:28:52
declarations for example who made
00:28:53
matthieu delormeau the subject of bilal assadi
00:28:55
in dancing with the stars on the fact
00:28:57
that certain gays in the media give a
00:29:00
little bit of a bad example the
00:29:02
caricature all that I I have the impression that
00:29:04
ultimately for gay people the
00:29:06
gay environment is often a place which is
00:29:08
extremely exclusionary compared
00:29:11
ultimately to another social circle for
00:29:13
example do you feel more excluded
00:29:15
today or not by a certain
00:29:16
category of gecc by straight people for
00:29:19
example, so for me today I
00:29:21
absolutely don't feel rejected by straight people,
00:29:23
you see, whether it's when I go to
00:29:25
the bar downstairs from my house, whatever
00:29:27
the place I go, I feel very
00:29:28
accepted, on the other hand, I tell you if I
00:29:31
go into the swamp because my
00:29:32
passing is not yet perfect that I
00:29:34
am I still look a bit like a guy
00:29:36
I have the impression that everyone is going to make
00:29:38
fun of me you see and yes and
00:29:40
we know it is a reality the
00:29:43
gay environment is an environment which is very exclusionary,
00:29:44
that is to say that if we do not represent
00:29:47
the codes of virility and
00:29:49
masculinity of all that we see it very
00:29:51
clearly with matthieu delormeau there is a
00:29:52
kind of it's called the crazy person with
00:29:53
phobias you see from du gué which is not the
00:29:57
virile ford which makes a good impression on
00:29:59
dad mom and matthieu delormeau he
00:30:01
just forgot one essential thing which is
00:30:02
that all the advances in rights that we
00:30:04
has had in fact since the 60s
00:30:06
as lgbt people announced himself marked
00:30:08
on his t-shirt as
00:30:10
lgbt people l we were always due thanks
00:30:14
to the crazy people thanks to the drag queens thanks to
00:30:17
the transvestites and never by
00:30:19
people like matthieu delormeau you
00:30:21
see virile guys like matthieu
00:30:22
delormeau we never heard them
00:30:23
during the marriage for all matthieu
00:30:25
delormeau never took our defense
00:30:26
it seems to me in any case during the
00:30:27
marriage for all and I am convinced
00:30:29
that bilal he would have written a song about it
00:30:31
he would have done it he would have been on
00:30:34
TV sets to talk about it to
00:30:35
defend and everything and it is the story of
00:30:37
the lgbt community that is to say the
00:30:39
most marginalized the most extra 6 and in
00:30:42
fact these are the ones who are who are
00:30:44
who are the most rejected me I think that
00:30:46
when I was 20 years old so quite a
00:30:49
few years ago now I had
00:30:52
the same lack of education as matthieu
00:30:54
delormeau and so I was a little
00:30:57
against these people it's these people
00:31:00
who can be more exuberant who
00:31:02
can be crazier I didn't have
00:31:03
the necessary open-mindedness to
00:31:05
tell myself that the lgbt community is a whole
00:31:08
bunch of people who are
00:31:09
completely different and matthieu
00:31:10
delormeau I think they him it's
00:31:11
just a shame because I the he
00:31:13
looks a lot older than
00:31:14
I was at 20 and he doesn't look like he's
00:31:16
done the work the
00:31:18
necessary work to grow up and
00:31:20
actually understand all that in any case we must
00:31:23
not forget that being gay is not
00:31:24
necessarily an attitude being crazy being
00:31:27
virile everyone being gay is
00:31:28
above all in the head is a question
00:31:29
of attraction is absolutely not a
00:31:32
question of who is going to be eliminated that he is going to
00:31:34
be virile finally here I am
00:31:36
often confronted in my life with people
00:31:38
who are convinced that a person is
00:31:40
gay because he is effeminate be careful
00:31:42
being gay should still
00:31:43
remind them that it is not a
00:31:45
physical particularity but it is indeed
00:31:47
an attraction so it is much
00:31:48
deeper than something that we can
00:31:50
see on the outside
00:31:51
so ultimately crazy not crazy virile
00:31:53
not virile ultimately which defines
00:31:55
gays it's not that and then there is no
00:31:57
one who is a spokesperson or
00:31:58
anything being gay is above all an
00:31:59
attraction not only is it true I
00:32:01
want to say go even further
00:32:02
it's that is to say that someone like Bilal
00:32:03
Assadi for me I never find him
00:32:06
in the caricature, that is to
00:32:08
say I have the impression that there is
00:32:09
someone who does what I
00:32:12
would never have dared to do at his age
00:32:13
I would never have dared to accept my part of femininity
00:32:16
as he does by being extremely glamorous
00:32:19
what would you have to say
00:32:22
to the people who feel that they
00:32:24
are in the wrong body in the
00:32:27
wrong identity that
00:32:30
Could you give them advice to
00:32:31
listen to themselves, not to be
00:32:34
afraid of the gaze of others, not to
00:32:36
be afraid of the gaze of society, to
00:32:37
do what the boy or girl thinks
00:32:40
is good for them or she is endowed with
00:32:43
and to live for him in fact not to
00:32:46
live for others I have lived for
00:32:47
others for far too
00:32:49
long we wish you in any case to
00:32:51
finally live your life the one you have
00:32:53
decided thank you Olivia for this interview
00:32:55
and well thank you thank you Jérémy and then
00:32:58
thank you for watching us until
00:33:00
then
00:33:01
[Music]
00:33:07
[Music]

Description:

Pour commander mon livre en format poche: https://www.amazon.fr/Jeremstar-biographie-officielle-Chapitre-In%C3%A9dit/dp/2755647337 Clique pour m'ajouter directement sur: Snapchat https://www.snapchat.com/add/jeremstar Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/explore Instagram https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser

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