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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:01:42
in translation, the next thing is to teach a child00:01:45
to separate tithes, therefore, in addition to the fact00:01:48
that you need to give, you also need to teach the child00:01:49
something. You think now Yes, we00:01:51
will all be silent, but you don’t need to explain to him yet00:01:53
Why did you give00:01:55
And that’s why it’s very important And besides everything00:01:58
else Who knows what she is like now the book00:02:00
that we are studying in the Torah, the book breshet00:02:03
is such one of the five voluminous books, and00:02:07
the biggest topic that is raised00:02:10
throughout almost the entire book00:02:11
dreishit is children,00:02:15
this gave birth to this one, this one had children like this,00:02:19
this one did not have children, and then he asked the00:02:21
Almighty to give me children in in general, all00:02:23
the time there is a conversation about children and00:02:26
remembering history, in principle, we will decide, we00:02:29
understand that this issue did not begin00:02:32
with the generation of Jews there, that’s when the Jews00:02:35
began, that’s when00:02:37
raising children was important. Yes, if we remember00:02:39
to decide, then in general the conversation about children00:02:41
began much earlier00:02:43
still from Cain's yabel Now I have someone who00:02:47
remembers who punished Cain with savel, do00:02:52
n't remember00:02:54
kainavel, remember Yes, brother killed his brother,00:02:58
the question is who punished, let's do it so well00:03:02
If suddenly one of your children00:03:06
did something to another00:03:08
child,00:03:09
father or mother Well, not that is parents Son00:03:14
or daughter Well, that’s not possible. We need to somehow00:03:16
fix it, imagine the situation00:03:22
or didn’t react at all,00:03:26
how do you think your children will00:03:29
treat you after such a00:03:30
reaction happened, that is,00:03:32
dad didn’t react, mom didn’t00:03:34
react,00:03:36
impunity,00:03:41
that is, yes, they won’t take the calculation00:03:43
absolutely Now I have the following question:00:03:46
Why didn’t Adam and Khava00:03:48
intervene in any way in the tough Well, the00:03:51
cruelest showdowns of their children, there00:03:55
was no logical experience Yes, no one’s00:03:57
parents taught for some reason the00:03:59
Almighty suddenly intervenes in00:04:01
this conversation, not a single00:04:03
line like Adam Khava intervened in this00:04:05
showdown it was not possible to say they00:04:08
were already big there They already00:04:10
sorted it out themselves They already brought it themselves Yes, but00:04:12
we see that, in principle, they are not like parents00:04:14
in this regard They left00:04:16
it to the Almighty because they probably00:04:18
believed that the Almighty in this world is00:04:20
not the main thing The Almighty will help them00:04:22
figure it out Let's move on Yes, as if the00:04:26
situation is00:04:28
so serious, we have00:04:31
serious showdowns with children This is our00:04:33
children, but we remember Yes, there was an00:04:35
unpleasant situation when a boor did00:04:39
not act very nicely, let's say that he acted in00:04:42
relation to dad, here things have already gone00:04:45
a little wrong - to another Yes, we already see00:04:46
the relationship between the parents more00:04:48
clearly because the two brothers00:04:51
immediately stood up for the father and immediately00:04:54
covered him up, that is, in principle, as if00:04:57
we already see some kind of closer relationship00:04:59
between the parents and the children,00:05:02
some kind of upbringing has already gone with me00:05:04
one more question somehow dad in relation to the00:05:07
boor somehow punished him Who remembers00:05:10
no Okay I’ll answer in no way at all Dad did00:05:13
n’t react at all who00:05:15
punished him once again he renders the00:05:17
Almighty says because you00:05:19
acted so badly now all00:05:22
your children will be black, so everyone00:05:24
knows how you distinguished yourself in 5 years,00:05:26
the Almighty is interfering in this process,00:05:28
if we go further, our00:05:31
history00:05:33
already includes our forefathers, it’s a little00:05:36
more interesting, of course, as soon as the00:05:39
Jewish question is included, then00:05:41
the parents already begin to interfere Yes, we are the00:05:44
first to The conversation we had with the children00:05:47
was Abraham Isara, they didn’t have children there for a long time,00:05:50
they waited, it didn’t work out.00:05:53
What is Sarah doing? Who remembers? She says:00:05:57
Listen, they promised you that you will have00:05:59
offspring from me, it doesn’t work. Here you are,00:06:01
please, that everything has come true from the Almighty. The00:06:05
Almighty cannot deceive. maybe Here's00:06:06
a Concubine Give me children from her00:06:11
and there were twice there twice And the first00:06:14
bumblebee and then six more children00:06:17
in the end Isaac is born but what an00:06:20
interesting situation in the upbringing of00:06:25
Ishmael and in the upbringing of the remaining00:06:28
six children who were then00:06:30
born again uktur00:06:31
Abraham in no way at all in principle, he doesn’t00:06:33
interfere, but Isaac’s upbringing is already00:06:38
invested, he’s already there, he already00:06:41
goes to sacrifice with him, he00:06:43
tells him the relationship of the Almighty. That00:06:45
is, he’s already slowly investing in him, it’s00:06:46
unclear why. I’m honest,00:06:49
it’s just now I’m saying, I don’t know00:06:51
why,00:06:52
maybe I haven’t yet he studied this topic, he00:06:55
does not interfere in the upbringing of00:06:58
children, and Harry, she is zhektura, the only thing00:07:01
he did was he listened to his wife00:07:03
Sarah and kicked him out and the bumblebee with agarine,00:07:07
again, the Almighty will bring up in this case,00:07:10
we see that the Jews are already beginning00:07:11
to little by little, raising children is still a00:07:14
very important thing let's00:07:15
approach her and00:07:17
after that, probably everything is like a mother, yes, you00:07:21
probably heard, yes, this is a mother who00:07:24
will ask her child centimeters 6000:07:26
years old, he made a hat on the street Yes, when he00:07:28
goes out, he has a habit of asking yes, did00:07:30
you eat the hat, that is, a Jewish mother will00:07:33
not let go of her the child is said Yes,00:07:35
there can only be a00:07:37
Jewish mother worse than a wife because she is00:07:40
tougher in these matters, so this is a00:07:43
note that there is no need to do this any00:07:45
further, it is already included in the process yes There,00:07:49
as if the Jewish family is already starting to00:07:50
raise children more and Abraham00:07:53
is worried about that what kind of wife00:07:57
Isaac will have, that is, all this is important to him,00:08:00
and moving on, the approach changes a little,00:08:04
if before this dad was worried, he00:08:08
told him to leave. What kind of wife should there be like this,00:08:09
take this, don’t take this under00:08:13
any circumstances, then the next question00:08:16
is the mother begins to care00:08:20
about two of his children, this00:08:24
We remember Isaac Jacob, there was a very00:08:28
serious mess there, I won’t00:08:30
tell you now, but dad, in principle, he00:08:33
says, I don’t touch these children,00:08:35
because the Almighty will sort it out. That is, he,00:08:38
in principle, returns to the topic of00:08:40
education. How00:08:43
Adam and Chava raised their children, but he says the Almighty00:08:46
will show these children how to00:08:48
get out of the situation00:08:50
and, in principle, he turns out to be right00:08:54
because the dad who said the00:08:56
situation you find yourself in will00:08:58
teach you how to live.00:09:00
And00:09:02
know from history, we understand that Isaf00:09:06
got into various situations and00:09:09
got out of them incorrectly That is, he00:09:12
always00:09:14
found the wrong answers. Yakov, in00:09:17
turn, when he got into some situations,00:09:19
he found the right answers, thereby00:09:22
he00:09:23
taught himself correctly, and then in the future he00:09:26
found more correct decisions on00:09:29
how to behave.00:09:32
Now I have questions for you with00:09:34
psychology What do you think, from the point of view of00:09:38
modern psychology of00:09:40
modern education,00:09:43
who is responsible for what in the family in terms of00:09:46
education? What is the mother responsible for in00:09:48
your opinion for the health of00:09:50
the child? Let’s not be afraid to introduce00:09:53
everyday life there, that is, teach him to knit,00:09:55
darn and cook, for example00:09:59
Well, that is Some everyday issues Yes,00:10:03
hygiene,00:10:05
education Mom, thank you very much,00:10:07
feed And dad What is he responsible for? What do you00:10:10
think00:10:12
dad is responsible for financially for spiritually00:10:16
for financially, but00:10:19
still dad and sports00:10:23
so mom or dad dad,00:10:29
that is, who should teach the child to00:10:31
fight in general, essentially dad, of course,00:10:33
should say that he needs that if00:10:35
you are someone, you will immediately respond to you. That is, we00:10:38
probably have an established one.00:10:42
This is dad.00:10:47
Well, okay, let’s have a boy or a girl. Well,00:10:50
let’s do it. So we’re probably talking about boys00:10:52
more after all, because well, as we00:10:54
see from In the Torah, we talk about raising00:10:55
boys with girls, we have a little less00:10:57
information with boys. That is,00:11:00
if we take this about boys, then society00:11:05
has lived the picture that a father must teach00:11:07
a child the physical action of protection to00:11:11
feed his family some00:11:13
spirituality, that is, some basic00:11:15
values, a mother should more teach your00:11:17
child some household things, that is,00:11:20
you should be able to cook You should be able to do the laundry and00:11:22
knit suddenly if your00:11:24
wife goes away for a week to rest so that00:11:26
you don’t completely disappear here How to cook00:11:28
dumplings, that’s all mom,00:11:32
and I have one more question for you, then I have00:11:35
my own I’ll tell you an example. Have you ever00:11:37
left your children there at the age of 13 at00:11:39
home alone for a week00:11:43
even less? How the children coped00:11:47
normally, but you didn’t leave you are00:11:50
afraid now to leave the child and00:11:51
so take the leave now yourself here is00:11:54
the pasta here is the meat here is the water00:11:58
now but no longer 13 Well, good, but when00:12:01
it was 13 I didn’t leave it00:12:05
Well, if you taught it and then00:12:07
left it, they would say look, here are00:12:09
the instructions for pasta, here are the instructions for00:12:11
dumplings, here are the instructions for meat, it00:12:14
would be scary, that00:12:16
is, we see, I see now, that is,00:12:19
everything It still depends on the person,00:12:21
probably, but not on the child, but00:12:24
first of all on the parents, that is, is the00:12:26
parent ready to say? Well, 13 is already00:12:29
the age of majority in Jewish yes, that’s it,00:12:32
let’s stay. I left or I left, that is,00:12:35
in principle, my parents left me00:12:37
there with I had a lot of adventures for 13 years,00:12:40
I say right away it’s like everyone else,00:12:42
probably But I think that it gave me a00:12:46
certain standard of living But00:12:50
to let go there to look for Most00:12:53
parents cannot let their00:12:55
child go to say you live now for00:12:56
a week We’ll go with dad or mom00:12:58
relaxing is weird,00:13:01
weird Yes,00:13:03
you remember the mother who will never let00:13:06
her child go anywhere00:13:08
Yes, without a hat Exactly exactly without a hat, I00:13:13
’ll tell you now how How education works00:13:17
in a religious family,00:13:20
you know what time a boy leaves his00:13:22
family in a Jewish family at00:13:25
14 years old or at 13 Well, there it is -differently at 1300:13:29
years old a boy when he turns 600:13:32
months in the hospital for another six months or so, give or take,00:13:34
he leaves Ishiba here outside the city00:13:36
of our Shiva, also where the parents send00:13:38
their children,00:13:39
they come from America, the children come to such00:13:42
in different places they try to send him away00:13:45
so that he comes less often How they say00:13:48
the pleasure is not cheap, I say right away00:13:51
That is, a month’s education is00:13:52
very expensive. The question is, why? Well, let’s00:13:56
raise the child normally at home,00:13:58
watch how he is formed, watch00:14:00
how he grows, what happens to him,00:14:02
monitor him, that is, wrap him in00:14:06
some kind of Cocoon in which he will be00:14:07
It’s beautiful to be brought up, but for some reason suddenly00:14:10
Jewish education, which has been going on for00:14:13
many years, suddenly appeared now, for00:14:17
many years the children of00:14:19
their parents sent their children and shiva00:14:21
girls. No, of course, I00:14:24
’ll tell you about the girls separately later. The boys were sent for 1300:14:27
years already to an educational institution00:14:29
that was called and Shiva00:14:31
How many years do you think the child00:14:34
returned?00:14:36
The correct answer was not returned. The00:14:40
child came for holidays00:14:43
twice a year, sometimes three. This is Sukkot.00:14:47
Sukkot usually went to Krebbies, so00:14:49
we can’t say that he was returning home.00:14:51
This is Hanukkah and this is sand. These are two family00:14:54
holidays when the child returned to00:14:56
his home. home and there were Summer holidays00:14:58
which most often these children used00:15:00
to go and give someone00:15:04
their warmth. That is, it turns out that a child from the age of 1300:15:08
I left home00:15:10
and returned and saw my parents00:15:12
heard On the phone, of course, this is00:15:15
when Now there are telephones When not there were00:15:16
telephones, respectively, I did not hear the00:15:20
letters, also such a thing, that is, the child00:15:24
suddenly leaves the class question Is this why00:15:28
mom and dad groomed Pestel for these 13 years,00:15:31
cherished them, cherished them so as00:15:35
not to see him later, it turns out00:15:37
Why suddenly Jewish education00:15:40
tells you to let go,00:15:43
what does it give00:15:47
Absolutely right, as we see from where I am00:15:51
speaking about the ishiva If you and I00:15:53
look at the chapter, I don’t remember00:15:56
the weiss now and left Thank you very much Torah when00:16:05
Rachel Rivka speaks to00:16:08
her son says son says Shuruy00:16:11
so I have me says Nothing00:16:14
says moreover Go Here there00:16:18
you will learn life with your brother there, it was the first and there00:16:20
was such a shiba and he also studied on the00:16:23
way there now that’s not the point. He00:16:24
studied at the00:16:27
Yevshiva, but his mother says, take00:16:31
me there with something with you, as a result,00:16:33
they take everything away from him, he went to with just a00:16:35
loincloth,00:16:37
Esau catches up with him, doesn’t catch up with him,00:16:40
the Messenger who was supposed to kill him00:16:43
didn’t kill him, that is,00:16:44
what is happening is that00:16:47
Jacob is sent to the haram on the way, he goes and00:16:51
studies shiva there in this ishiva of spirituality. That00:16:54
is, he first gains some00:16:55
kind of spiritual -that base After which he00:16:57
comes to the temple and begins to learn00:16:59
business, as we see, it wasn’t his dad who00:17:03
taught him how to run things,00:17:06
but in general an absolutely left-wing dude,00:17:10
someone gave Avan an00:17:14
Armenian army man with whom they were there for a very00:17:17
long time, everyone read this interesting story about00:17:20
how they got there such sheep are such goats And00:17:23
now they are just like that, in general, the story is00:17:25
great, he thinks they need to make a blockbuster00:17:28
on this topic, as they did. That is, it00:17:31
turns out that dad, in principle, did not give him00:17:33
knowledge, dad just sat there and said Let's00:17:36
see what will grow up. I want you to grow up to have00:17:38
great potential, special00:17:40
awesome. but he did not interfere in all these00:17:42
processes00:17:43
and was taught by a complete stranger, his00:17:46
mother sent him, that is, it00:17:49
turns out that a child who at the age of 1300:17:52
is torn away from his parents. He00:17:57
generally comprehends the lessons of life much better in00:17:59
general.00:18:01
I work in the Ishiva, I am not a teacher. I00:18:04
work there with In terms of material issues, I am the00:18:07
supply manager there.00:18:08
Well, figuratively speaking, the supply manager,00:18:12
if only there was definitely no director for the00:18:14
material part of00:18:17
the administration. Yes, administrative sounds00:18:20
like a different administrative unit,00:18:22
but of course I see children. Every00:18:24
day00:18:25
I honestly tell you that before I00:18:29
went cheap, I was my child, my00:18:31
son. I wasn’t going to give it, I thought that00:18:34
it was not very right to let a child go00:18:36
from 13 years old to no one knows where, it’s not clear where00:18:39
today I am one hundred percent sure00:18:41
that my child should only go to embroidery,00:18:42
accordingly, as much as I saw00:18:44
how much the psychological00:18:46
regime has changed from the point of view of purely psychology, I don’t00:18:48
say which ones something of spiritual knowledge or00:18:49
something else, I’m just talking about the00:18:52
psychological relationship of communication,00:18:54
how a child began to communicate, yes, there00:18:56
he came in the first years, the first six months.00:18:58
I’m sorry. This is a bad comparison; this is a00:19:00
monkey, he’s running around, he’s trying to00:19:03
cheer everyone up; he’s trying to find something00:19:04
with this communication and when he understands00:19:07
that second-year and00:19:08
third-year students are already with him, so this is not00:19:11
customary, we get up at 7 in the morning, we go to00:19:14
bed at 10 in the evening, we have a difficult00:19:16
schedule, you try an approach,00:19:19
that is, a child after six months changes00:19:22
absolutely during a conversation, he thinks00:19:24
what he says B First of all, one00:19:26
thinks about how to influence His answer00:19:29
on the further result, that is, a00:19:34
child after three years in this ishiba comes out00:19:38
completely different, this is already a balanced00:19:40
person who Thinks what he says, he knows how to learn,00:19:43
he knows how to learn, I’m not saying00:19:45
that he was taught something to learn,00:19:47
who will try learn lessons from00:19:50
everything where he will be.00:19:52
Therefore, after I looked at00:19:54
these children, I have already seen them for 8 years. I understand00:19:56
that my child only needs something in00:19:58
such an institution. And now I understand00:20:01
why at some time there were even00:20:04
such boarding schools where they sent children00:20:06
there specifically so that they could00:20:08
learn the whole mind, if we go further00:20:11
into the00:20:12
Torah, how the Torah influences and how we see how00:20:17
Jacob learned, by the way, another interesting00:20:19
point about the lessons of his parents if00:20:22
we remember the story Abraham00:20:26
quarreled with the kings for a very long time about wells.00:20:30
Let's see so we’ll dig a well here00:20:32
so they don’t quarrel, my well00:20:34
will be Here And your well will be00:20:36
Here no we want Okay I’m giving it to you I00:20:41
dug it But I can give it only so as not to00:20:43
quarrel because for you it was pure00:20:45
goodness that comes from like his son in theory00:20:48
raised by his dad because he didn’t00:20:50
leave his dad, in theory he should have00:20:52
behaved exactly the same as dad, he’s seen enough of00:20:54
how dad behaves, what Itsha does, he00:20:56
says, stop dug these wells.00:20:59
My dad is the one I’m burying now, it’s mine.00:21:02
If you don’t want to dig it for yourself where you want.00:21:05
dig other wells for himself That is,00:21:07
he is already approaching the question harshly because00:21:10
he is translated into spirituality, he00:21:12
is strict, he is a gura, he is like that, I won’t give00:21:15
anyone any slack. Here is his child Yakov,00:21:18
it is written that Yakov already tiffates this00:21:22
magnificence in Yakov, two things have developed00:21:25
very cool, this00:21:28
rigor and kindness and they are very tightly00:21:32
intertwined in00:21:35
[music] In the00:21:36
Eastern language, this is Yin and Yang, in my opinion.00:21:39
If I’m not mistaken and pronounce it correctly, this is00:21:41
black and white like this00:21:43
together, which are very tightly00:21:45
intertwined at some point, that is,00:21:47
we we can understand where they00:21:49
came from, these black and white ones, and this will00:21:54
also be one of the topics of our lessons, when here is the00:21:55
interweaving of these things that00:21:57
seem to be coming, the spiritual child Yakov,00:22:00
who spent 13 years and taught shiva00:22:03
only the Torah, did not leave the tents,00:22:05
comes to his uncle Lavan Aramis00:22:09
and starts playing with him. In these00:22:12
business trainings, they train each other00:22:15
which of them is cooler and there is such a joke. You00:22:17
probably know that when an00:22:19
Armenian and a Jew go to court, you know00:22:22
who gets a sentence00:22:24
when an Armenian and Jews go to court in court who00:22:27
gets a sentence, you know the judge Yes, it’s like that’s why00:22:31
when we’ve been playing these games with them for a long time,00:22:35
we’ve known each other for a long time But he’s00:22:38
Lavanr, he’s an Armenian,00:22:40
that is, we’ve been playing these games with them for a long time,00:22:42
trying not to interfere with00:22:44
business business interests but when00:22:47
it happens happens As they say then00:22:49
already badabum noble That is, in principle,00:22:52
in our head, the child who00:22:57
went to study is a certain image00:23:00
[music] of a00:23:01
skinny boy, a little00:23:04
downtrodden, a little bit not understanding how00:23:06
this world works in general because he has00:23:08
not seen it00:23:10
who, in theory, should return under his00:23:13
mother’s wing and somewhere there sits00:23:15
a violin or with a piano and quietly sit00:23:17
on it rattle The00:23:19
Torah says that’s not true at all, it’s absolutely00:23:21
not true if you send your child to the00:23:24
right educational00:23:25
institution in which he00:23:27
will learn how to study correctly then when he comes out into this big00:23:30
world, he will continue to study correctly00:23:33
and psychologists say the same thing, the00:23:36
sooner you start letting your00:23:38
child go from you, leave him to let00:23:41
him go. After a certain age,00:23:45
I don’t say immediately after a certain00:23:47
age, after these 13 for00:23:49
boys, 12 girls, give him some00:23:51
independence00:23:53
the easier it will be for the child to enter the World. I’m not00:23:56
saying that this is an axiom. I’m saying how00:23:59
Thor shows it, it’s not necessarily00:24:01
one hundred percent. It happens that children00:24:03
who leave and don’t receive shiva00:24:06
sometimes don’t work out, but it happens that the00:24:08
child whom Mom doesn’t leave will00:24:10
make him beautiful00:24:12
person This is the00:24:14
only way I say this is how it is customary among00:24:18
Jews, so I have seen children for whom it didn’t00:24:19
work out, for example. Well, for some, it didn’t work out;00:24:23
for the majority, 80 percent00:24:26
succeeded;00:24:27
that is, we see that to some extent,00:24:32
psychologists say that it is important to teach a00:24:34
child to learn independence to00:24:36
study, that is, the child must still00:24:39
learn the ignorance of what we had in00:24:41
Soviet times, as I understand it, everyone went through the00:24:43
Soviet school. Yes, I am with you. I00:24:47
visited this wonderful institution.00:24:50
Honestly, I understand that now there00:24:53
will probably be a storm of emotions. I honestly condemn00:24:54
Soviet education and honestly00:24:57
today, as a teacher, I00:24:59
taught at school, I condemn both00:25:01
modern education00:25:03
and exactly the one we receive here in00:25:05
Ukraine, which is imposed on children. That is,00:25:09
I believe that it cannot give what00:25:11
a child needs, that is, Everything. This is my00:25:16
personal opinion in no case didn’t say00:25:17
that it’s just the way it is, but from00:25:22
what I see it doesn’t give the child00:25:24
the skill, it only gives the child knowledge,00:25:28
another cool nuance, maybe00:25:31
someone noticed00:25:33
Who are the coolest businessmen of the00:25:39
2000s, D students, C students, you know00:25:42
why00:25:43
they were taught to live,00:25:45
learned to survive00:25:48
Absolutely right they weren’t broken, they went00:25:51
against the system, they learned to play around somewhere, they00:25:53
did it, I took my homework there, I’m there in00:25:56
a second, I’ll go to00:25:58
the toilet, 45 minutes it’s gone, that is, these are the00:26:00
children who were always trying to00:26:02
find some kind of stuff somewhere. such a moment00:26:05
Yes, today it’s no longer true I’ll explain00:26:09
why because it’s no longer relevant00:26:11
today a person comes in again with00:26:13
knowledge Why Because today this C00:26:17
student is hiring a D student to work I do00:26:20
n’t want to be smart I need smart00:26:22
managers but I will manage them correctly00:26:24
that is for today day they are00:26:26
already taking these smart ones who have already00:26:28
learned correctly because00:26:30
education has already changed a little, we00:26:32
still have already flown a little forward and00:26:35
we see how much has changed from00:26:37
today’s education, it has become00:26:39
completely different, we are not lumping everyone with the00:26:41
same brush and today00:26:44
there is such concept How00:26:46
Tuting Tuting is not education, it is a00:26:49
vision, that is, the child is led to something00:26:51
after some point, he is released in00:26:54
his interesting direction. That is, if a00:26:56
child00:26:57
sits and draws more in a physics lesson, it is00:27:01
clear that they will not leave him there in00:27:03
this physics, they will try send and00:27:05
where he will draw beautifully. That is,00:27:07
this is the approach that, in principle,00:27:09
today in the Torah and in00:27:14
psychology it begins to converge a little,00:27:16
they say you need to give the child00:27:18
the opportunity to try yourself00:27:21
without telling him You must take it like this00:27:23
or put it like this after a certain00:27:25
age I’m not saying that from the very beginning a00:27:26
child at five years old probably still won’t00:27:28
understand where it is and how it is, but already there00:27:31
after 13-15 you can calmly and00:27:34
little by little let the child go so that he can00:27:36
already walk at some moments00:27:38
and move on to a00:27:42
cool moment, our previous00:27:45
weekly chapter about the relationship between children,00:27:49
she is fresh to you, as I understand it Yes, in the memory of00:27:52
the past The boss about how the brothers treated00:27:57
Yusuf00:27:58
is not Well, first of all, you came here and00:28:01
told dad00:28:03
we are behaving badly here,00:28:06
for this we will make you dark,00:28:09
you can say that About the times, he has morals yes00:28:13
That there were times when, in principle,00:28:14
human life, well, it wasn’t00:28:17
particularly valued Yes, that’s why we don’t00:28:20
immediately put it to waste and00:28:23
only then Ruben Yes said that it’s not good00:28:28
for us to have the blood of this child on us. Let’s00:28:30
still try to00:28:32
save it somehow. wanted to dissuade them,00:28:34
he dissuaded them, but did not have time to get rid of00:28:37
slavery,00:28:39
now the question is why does he, why does the00:28:41
Almighty allow such things Why does the00:28:43
Almighty say that you, in principle,00:28:44
go sit there is the answer of our rabbi00:28:48
That it was necessary to extract the spark of00:28:50
holiness from00:28:52
Egypt to raise this thing there but in As a result,00:28:55
everyone of this came down with another00:28:58
interesting answer,00:29:00
this again, education would00:29:03
not be possible, you and I would not be able to, and the00:29:06
Jewish people would not be able to really00:29:09
go and receive the Torah if he had not00:29:12
gone through this and knowledge in Egypt, that is,00:29:15
if Yakov had their didn’t let you go You00:29:18
remember that when they were already they already had00:29:20
children Judas’s children were already dying If you00:29:23
remember about her Era his children were already dying00:29:26
he himself again Then for the second time00:29:28
he found himself a wife already healthy boys but00:29:31
when suddenly hunger sets in country To00:29:34
us what are they doing they dad says there is00:29:38
no food what to do00:29:40
guys go to Egypt buy food in00:29:43
the end00:29:45
That is, he says they went to Egypt00:29:47
bought food comes back too our00:29:50
weekly chapter he says and00:29:51
go again why the guys who are00:29:54
responsible for their children for their00:29:56
wives, they all have families, they come to00:29:59
dad or pachu, we don’t have enough food to make.00:30:03
That is, it turns out that there is a certain moment such00:30:05
that they are not very ready, dad didn’t00:30:08
let them go, dad suffers according to Joseph,00:30:12
he didn’t let them go, this is another answer That00:30:15
when a child is not released at the right00:30:17
moment, he will still be at 50 years old, and even00:30:21
swearing there is scary scary00:30:24
true00:30:27
yes That is, in principle, at some point00:30:31
if Yosov had not gone to Egypt and00:30:36
there he would not have ended up in his plans where00:30:38
he also had his own struggles, they00:30:40
laid out theirs, then most likely we would00:30:43
sit like this in the clan and go to dad and00:30:46
ask for honors, the food is over, baby, the00:30:49
refrigerator is there, Masha, we are having00:30:52
lunch today, well, open the refrigerator, look what00:30:54
we have there, I don’t know anything I see my mother00:30:56
was coming, here are the dumplings, here’s the sausage. I did00:30:58
n’t see anything. That is, yes, well,00:31:01
husbands are the same so that you understand,00:31:02
husbands are there too, you tell him, go00:31:04
open the refrigerator there. Everything is lying there, he00:31:05
opens there is nothing. So00:31:08
it turns out this moment when they are00:31:11
all- in the end, they later went down to00:31:12
Egypt00:31:14
And lived there under Egypt,00:31:18
the situation in which they00:31:21
remember How the situation in00:31:23
Egypt ended, we began to comply with Egyptian00:31:27
laws, the question is, what are we suddenly already We are00:31:31
strong guys We were ready to bend this Egypt there00:31:34
10 brothers were ready to tear to pieces all of00:31:36
Egypt so that the Egyptians would understand that00:31:38
they would tear them to pieces. They were very frightened00:31:41
when Judah approached Joseph with00:31:45
the intention of tearing everyone to pieces. He could00:31:47
have done this. We remember Shiman and Lebe00:31:50
who entered Nablus and 24 thousand people.00:31:54
Okay, weakened, well 24 thousand00:31:56
people00:31:57
like Zora and that’s it. and there is no one,00:32:00
that is, the guys were strong, I’ll tell them00:32:02
Egypt They could bend it very easily But for00:32:05
some reason they decided that no, we’re here,00:32:08
now we’ll put on clothes Like the Egyptians00:32:09
Let’s even get a little bit Here we00:32:13
’ll bring there what they need there, these00:32:15
gods what they want it there but they00:32:17
asked us to work, but let’s00:32:18
work what we are in the end. Well, they00:32:21
sheltered us, that is, this is00:32:23
the absence of a certain core. The only one00:32:25
who will not do the Levites is the absence of a core00:32:28
of some kind. Yes, I did00:32:29
n’t give them the opportunity to say at some point00:32:31
guys This is not ours, not our Earth,00:32:34
we came to live here, we have to leave,00:32:36
that is, the lack of some kind of education did00:32:40
not give them the opportunity to leave on time, like00:32:42
Yakov found it on time, Yakov said00:32:47
from the Koran, said Uncle Laban,00:32:51
bad things are brewing here now I Valya00:32:53
and quickly left It00:32:56
turns out that it is very important that00:33:00
the child learns independence and00:33:03
moving on,00:33:05
then the relationship between the children improves there. This is00:33:08
already the Next story I have for you The00:33:10
next question When we later00:33:13
left Egypt,00:33:15
before receiving the Torah, the Midrash00:33:19
tells an interesting situation.00:33:21
The Almighty approached the Jews and I tell00:33:24
you now it’s a00:33:25
very interesting situation, everything is00:33:27
written there, you will study it, he00:33:30
only says, give me guarantees that you will00:33:34
also comply.00:33:36
Who remembers what guarantees they were not given?00:33:41
Absolutely right, they are years old, we will study it ourselves,00:33:45
but we give obligations that it00:33:49
will sound our children,00:33:51
that is, were there they have several00:33:53
different answers, but the only answer that00:33:56
suited the Almighty00:33:58
They said, let’s say, we don’t know about ourselves,00:34:01
but one hundred percent we will pass it on to the00:34:04
children, that is, one hundred percent we will create a00:34:06
school of education on such a principle that00:34:10
our children will not leave00:34:13
and, in principle, as long as ishivas existed, you00:34:15
know that there were no complaints at all00:34:17
in terms of the departure of00:34:20
Jews from as soon as the00:34:22
Enlightenment began even before the Soviet Union, it00:34:25
began00:34:26
as soon as children began to go to Odessa00:34:29
there in the so-called00:34:31
[music]00:34:33
bursas. Yes, this is a place where00:34:35
both education and a craft00:34:40
specialty were given to children I began to slowly00:34:44
understand that I would probably only00:34:46
earn money before this, the children remained00:34:48
in the fold,00:34:51
that is,00:34:52
somehow the children who were00:34:55
inside the system did not go anywhere,00:34:57
now another very important Aspect in00:35:01
the education of children,00:35:02
now I’ll ask such a seditious question00:35:05
Let’s just not fight here00:35:08
Please tell me Olivier should be with00:35:10
or without peas00:35:13
with peas yes And who else is it desirable and00:35:18
how is it peas in no case I will00:35:22
take away the network For example, I do not agree with00:35:24
you00:35:25
with corn in any case, that is, you00:35:29
think that this is a matter of taste I00:35:32
I understand correctly, I’ll give you a great answer now, it’s00:35:35
not a matter of taste at all, it’s00:35:39
not how Olivier came out. This is a product in00:35:42
no case,00:35:45
but what kind of recipe? You’ll open a00:35:47
cookbook somewhere, there are00:35:49
good ones written there, add this spelling, add it,00:35:50
but I don’t know, it seems like I’m still just00:35:53
Olivier in general with boiled meat or with00:35:55
sausage,00:35:57
definitely yes, that’s all Now now there’s00:36:00
a fight if peas are still there people are somehow the00:36:02
same, but now now with00:36:04
beef or chicken00:36:06
Oh that’s it, yes Well, everything is clear That is,00:36:09
now it will begin In short I’ll tell you this,00:36:11
in no case Olivier only with00:36:13
sausage without peas, all this is mine, where did it come from?00:36:16
Suddenly I have this that’s not tasty except with00:36:19
meat and peas, like my00:36:21
mother cooked, like my mother cooked, or the00:36:26
same stuffed fish in pieces or a00:36:28
stocking,00:36:32
it means your husband is doing well with you this is the same yes, that00:36:34
is, as it were, well,00:36:36
but again. As for me, yes, that is, when I00:36:39
came to my wife’s family there, they00:36:43
cooked Olivier there with meat and peas.00:36:45
Well, I sat and selected the meat and the good ones, that00:36:48
is, the question is, it’s delicious. I don’t argue that00:36:51
my mother did this or when we cooked00:36:54
fish there, which was pieces. It’s not00:36:58
just boiled fish. Well, what are you telling me here? It turns00:36:59
out that in the00:37:03
family these are customs,00:37:05
and that is, not only in terms of food, in the00:37:09
principle of relationships. That is, how00:37:11
dad gave flowers for mom, or didn’t give mom00:37:15
flowers, that is,00:37:17
important points, how we pass on the customs of00:37:20
our family00:37:22
and00:37:23
customs, this is very important,00:37:26
and the Torah says, and the sages say, and the00:37:29
rebbe says, too, including that customs00:37:33
influence much more strongly than you will00:37:36
tell a child, this is the law, look,00:37:38
child it’s the law, you can’t00:37:41
speak like this, for example, mom says son, you00:37:44
can’t lie under any circumstances, it’s the law the00:37:48
child picks up the phone mom00:37:52
says to you, mom ma So you, I’m not00:37:56
at home there, or go tell me, that00:37:59
is, mom at the same moment or dad, I’m not00:38:01
saying Well, I mom Well, it turns out that way or00:38:03
dad probably because the woman is in the00:38:05
front row so that’s why my mom is a man00:38:07
Well done for hiding in time Yes, the parents00:38:11
themselves at some point begin to show the child by00:38:15
their actions that suddenly00:38:20
some kind of law00:38:22
can be dispensed with. It’s not a law a little bit, that00:38:25
is a serious dissonance occurs in the00:38:29
child’s head, a very00:38:30
serious dissonance that breaks00:38:33
very much, breaks, so it is very important to00:38:36
pay attention to how you behave00:38:40
at home, how we behave, how I behave00:38:42
towards my child. That is,00:38:45
if I tell my child that00:38:48
respect for mom or dad is the most00:38:51
important thing is to remember this and then at some00:38:53
point I lash out at my wife or husband over00:38:56
some little thing, showing Sorry00:38:59
disrespect for the child, respect but00:39:02
Well, somewhere, probably not very much,00:39:05
so00:39:07
I give you a 99 percent guarantee that00:39:11
the child will take the wrong law who00:39:13
will say that respect for mom and dad is the00:39:15
most important thing,00:39:17
and how he looks at how parents interact with each00:39:19
other, the00:39:21
child is important to give a sign, approaches dad00:39:25
or mom, the person says give me00:39:26
money on the street and he doesn’t give it to him dad. That’s how00:39:31
you lived Mom, you taught me that important,00:39:34
that is, our behavior is00:39:36
much stronger00:39:39
than what we tell them with our00:39:42
mouth, sorry, yes, that is, what we00:39:45
verbally convey to them, our non-verbal00:39:48
behavior affects much stronger than00:39:49
verbally, this is very important. Therefore, at00:39:53
some point, what we see is that00:39:56
our fellows are trying Not intervene do not00:40:00
tell your children how to behave00:40:03
the situation will put you in at some point00:40:06
at the right moment in the00:40:08
right situation if the child comes with00:40:11
advice, of course they don’t give it00:40:13
and it is very important to remember that customs our00:40:17
behavior influences the child with probably a00:40:21
greater stronger than what we tell them,00:40:26
moving on,00:40:29
we will move on to such a thing when we00:40:32
say that customs are important, we will move on00:40:34
to what our Reba00:40:37
Uraga said, there are 10 myths, probably everyone00:40:41
knows them, yes, well, most Yes, this is a jellyfish in the00:40:44
house, books in this house order I’m mistaken00:40:47
candles00:40:48
and one of them This is raising children I spent00:40:51
a lot of time raising00:40:55
children and even in those moments there is a story00:40:58
about one man00:41:00
[music]00:41:01
he got up at 6 in the morning at home00:41:06
said the morning eyebrow and went to the synagogue to00:41:08
come fell asleep00:41:09
and that’s until 9 he slept Just so he00:41:12
slept on a bench and after a while00:41:15
they came up to him and asked why you are00:41:18
doing this. Well, sleep at home in bed like a00:41:20
person. Why do you get up at 6 am it’s not light, it’s00:41:22
not in vain that you say morning brokes, you go00:41:25
then you pray, it’s unclear how you look00:41:28
I can’t overcome myself00:41:31
I want to sleep but I can’t, but I made00:41:35
this conclusion for myself, I have to00:41:36
show my son that he needs to get up early in the morning00:41:40
and go. I hope that he will no longer be00:41:43
like me and he will come and Pray and00:41:45
then go to work, but if I00:41:47
sleep until 9, he sees that sleeping until 9 is a00:41:50
normal situation,00:41:54
that is, well, it’s possible until 11, for example.00:41:59
That is, this is from what we are saying,00:42:01
so when he introduced00:42:05
all his fish to these mevets, yes, that is,00:42:08
mevets is an00:42:09
action, certain actions00:42:12
in relation to00:42:14
children, he said it is very important to show00:42:18
how we should behave, give Hanukkah00:42:23
gel what I said at the beginning,00:42:25
we must look for them so that you must00:42:27
separate from what you received owe 1000:42:29
percent of everything the child is already in the subcortex from an00:42:32
early age, he understands that he received a part that is not00:42:34
your part, put it on good00:42:37
we’ll find out later where it’s all very important and a00:42:41
lot and there were parades Why were there00:42:46
parades at parades they again talked00:42:48
about fulfilling the commandments That is, every00:42:50
time in every action I00:42:53
tried to make sure that the child00:42:55
learned the00:42:57
most important lesson they swore by their children00:43:05
This must go further through our children00:43:07
And00:43:09
now when we move a little further A00:43:12
little further forward,00:43:15
we talked about yin-yang00:43:17
contradictions, in principle the00:43:20
whole world00:43:22
is built and, in principle, the whole harmony of the world00:43:26
is built on contradictions and you, as people00:43:29
who study the Torah, you already00:43:30
know this very well I think and stand from00:43:34
Kabbalah from the conversation, it’s all great,00:43:37
you see how important it is to connect these two00:43:41
things, that is,00:43:43
raising children, we see two very00:43:46
important things on the one hand.00:43:48
As they say, we must give them the00:43:49
right education00:43:51
without education. You can’t just throw the child away00:43:54
further and the door itself slammed.00:43:57
goodbye, that is, we must go to the00:43:59
right educational institution Where there will be the00:44:01
right teachers suitable for him,00:44:03
it’s possible that it seems to you that this is the00:44:05
right educational institution for him, it00:44:08
seems to you like mom says son You00:44:11
’re going to play the violin Mom I don’t like00:44:14
the violin00:44:15
I’ve wanted to learn all my life Now you00:44:18
will also learn, that is, we invest in the child00:44:20
what we wanted, sometimes00:44:23
it’s wrong. Maybe we need to try the child in00:44:25
different aspects, that is, send him to the00:44:28
right education, and the second moment00:44:30
we have to let him go. These two00:44:33
seem to00:44:34
not connect their contradictions, where on the one00:44:37
hand we say Go study now you00:44:39
will be for00:44:41
9 years, we know that Jewish education00:44:44
before marriage takes 9 years at 13 he leaves00:44:47
from 13 to 16 this is Shiva octana and Shiva00:44:51
small then 16 to 19 thousand already00:44:54
older and then from 16 to 19 this is the so-00:44:59
called Kol or more00:45:02
free education There they are already00:45:04
working in a little bit in some aspects for00:45:06
these nine years since 13 so I ask for00:45:09
forgiveness of the Ukrainian 13 16 19 21 I00:45:12
apologize This is already as if free00:45:14
education is more for these 9 years the00:45:17
child is basically at home only when00:45:19
holidays, then a wedding and then the house00:45:21
generally doesn’t go as it should, and00:45:25
I’ll tell you everything00:45:27
if you’re interested, then after the wedding you00:45:29
still have a year to sit in a kollel, and00:45:31
there you can already get a specialty,00:45:33
but in principle it00:45:35
turns out that the Almighty sends00:45:39
a child to that specialty if he00:45:41
has studied well Torah, he, in principle, can00:45:44
already initially take for himself what he00:45:46
likes, there are people who write, there are00:45:48
teachers, there are people who help00:45:50
people, there are people who cut meat,00:45:52
the so-called shoikhits. Yes, there is00:45:56
[music],00:45:58
there is enough specialty, there is not a00:46:01
single child left who would sit after shiva00:46:03
if you were at home and bye the docks, you've been beaten00:46:08
for a year,00:46:11
this is not a specialty, you need to understand that00:46:14
this is not on purpose, that is, there is no concept of a00:46:17
specialty00:46:19
among Jews in education, there is00:46:23
such a thing as with a laugh of laughter. This is00:46:28
something like a diploma, there are only four of them00:46:30
on different topics, four topics you00:46:33
learned four diplomas, passed the diploma,00:46:37
which means with this diploma you can go and00:46:40
check whether the next dish is kosher,00:46:43
it’s Shabbat. So you can00:46:45
be a rabbi who will give answers to00:46:47
people. Regarding the questions of Shibat. For00:46:48
example, is it possible to wear it in this00:46:50
room during Shabbat, if so? Is it possible to00:46:52
get him out there over the fence? Some00:46:54
very serious laws there for several00:46:58
years, they study everything there, it00:46:59
accumulates, then there are laws of purity of00:47:03
family life again, Sitrobin, who00:47:05
knows like a doctor. That is, this is a certain00:47:07
specialty that you can get. But00:47:09
usually the guys are young rabbis there 20 years old,00:47:12
they already have all four at 24, they definitely00:47:14
already have all four of these laughs, all four00:47:16
diplomas already exist,00:47:18
that is, then they can go wherever they want,00:47:22
that is, in principle, someone comes to the00:47:24
parents, helps the parents, boys00:47:26
basically He has his own family, he appears, he is00:47:28
engaged in education there is always something to00:47:30
do, there is not a single person who would sit down00:47:32
and spit at the ceiling and think what should I00:47:35
do? there is absolutely everyone, that is, an00:47:38
interesting cool moment to give an00:47:41
education and let go. But it’s better to00:47:44
let him go to education there so that he can00:47:47
study at the same time and comprehend life, and that’s00:47:49
what It would seem yes, because in00:47:53
our advice I am also a Soviet00:47:55
child in our Soviet00:47:57
education and the understanding of education00:47:59
was like this, please go to00:48:02
school now Be kind At the top five, then you will be00:48:04
good at the institute, then there’s00:48:06
a master’s degree, and then there’s more please00:48:09
give me a professor's now00:48:12
now give me a00:48:14
little more who we have you will be00:48:15
some kind of academician And now00:48:18
let's now a profession I mean a00:48:20
profession Yes what profession You have to00:48:23
earn a living with something and now a00:48:26
family at 40 years old then there is, but most often this is a00:48:29
very shaky moment, so when00:48:33
we release a child at the right00:48:36
moment in the right place, thanks to00:48:40
this, most likely our children will grow up00:48:43
properly raised and will continue to00:48:45
pass on the right upbringing to their00:48:47
children and will take care of us,00:48:50
including now remember the first question00:48:52
that started how many children do you need in00:48:55
your opinion how many children should there be00:48:57
in a family00:48:58
one five three no one’s opinion has changed but00:49:04
how many in00:49:06
general like this yes I would like this answer,00:49:09
in fact sometimes we think00:49:12
that we know how many children we want,00:49:18
only the Almighty is in charge of this question I’m telling you one hundred00:49:22
percent I know from myself only00:49:24
he knows how many children you will have No matter00:49:25
how many you want it won’t work out00:49:29
interesting00:49:32
I’ll tell you something interesting an interesting00:49:34
story without names00:49:37
We have a friend She’s in Israel now00:49:40
She lives she came to Israel this very00:49:42
medically savvy states00:49:46
and doctors in the first year of their00:49:49
life together said that you ca00:49:51
n’t have children on your own, that is, you won’t be00:49:53
able to00:49:54
in Israel for a long time, they don’t think about going to do00:49:57
Eco right away, that is, they took the first one and00:50:00
then they say Well, one child is good A00:50:03
little older says Let's go to one more,00:50:05
they go Doctors say nothing00:50:07
will work out, they go do IVF,00:50:09
they are still giving birth to Twins, they are happy,00:50:11
happy, says Well, all three are basically00:50:13
normal for us, they are a family that observes00:50:18
all three, we have enough, we are00:50:22
having a great year, she00:50:24
gives birth to a boy,00:50:27
they to you told the doctors for a second that00:50:30
nothing will work out,00:50:31
after all, nothing will work out and who we don’t00:50:35
know, we are not involved at all, this is not our00:50:38
question. Well, I mean, you told us that there00:50:42
can’t be any00:50:44
talk about pregnancy at all. Well, no,00:50:48
look here the tests here it says you won’t have00:50:50
children, that is, they basically once00:50:53
again I feel they00:50:56
have proven once again that we can do the matter of children00:51:00
being in charge of the Almighty.00:51:02
Only our actions, I00:51:04
won’t tell you what, in00:51:07
simple Hebrew, create a vessel for a00:51:09
child appeared, that is,00:51:11
mom and dad unite Yes, together they00:51:13
create a court in which a child can and should00:51:16
turn out, but whether it turns out or00:51:19
not depends on the Almighty. But then00:51:23
a little later, we must00:51:26
invest in this child because00:51:28
we swore to the Almighty, in principle, and to00:51:31
ourselves sometimes it is also necessary for our00:51:33
children to be successful and for us to be successful too. We00:51:35
tried to do what we00:51:37
swore to ourselves so that our child would grow up00:51:39
worthy, this is very important,00:51:42
so let’s continue to wish that our00:51:45
children would grow up worthy,00:51:47
probably not us after all to be00:51:51
representatives of the Almighty in this world00:51:52
Because it cannot be said that only00:51:54
Jews are representatives of the Almighty in this world,00:51:56
absolutely any person who00:51:58
is in this world. He is the00:52:00
representative of the Almighty in this world,00:52:02
it is you and me. Any person on this00:52:04
earth should set an example of how to behave; it is00:52:08
not for nothing that there are laws that are observed by00:52:10
absolutely the whole world and recognized by the whole world and00:52:12
not just Jews or only Jewish00:52:14
laws, these values are, in principle, valuable for00:52:17
absolutely everyone, so let’s00:52:19
try to get our children to take these00:52:22
values for themselves, pass on the values to their00:52:23
children and receive the right education.00:52:25
Thank you very much for the lessonDescription:
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