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Вступление

2:01

Мультиплекс (Владивосток)

17:56

Секция по бадминтону (Москва)

30:51

Кармен Кортес (Москва)

44:03

Колосок (Михайловск)

59:00

Итог

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Лучшее в КВН: Денис Дорохов и Азамат Мусагалиев / Камызяки / #проквн

Channel: PRO КВН

КВН. Первая лига. Негоден. Приветствие. Вторая 1/2 2023. Беспилотники, депутаты и запрет аниме.

КВН. Первая лига. Негоден. Приветствие. Вторая 1/2 2023. Беспилотники, депутаты и запрет аниме.

Channel: PRO КВН

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КВН. Высшая лига. Третья 1/4 финала 2021 года

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Channel: PRO КВН

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Channel: PRO КВН

квн первая лига 2023

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квн первая лига вторая 1/8

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RUTUBE

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квн2023

00:00:05

The first League in Perm is dedicated to the 300th anniversary of

00:00:10

Perm. 25 teams. But then

00:00:14

only 15 will go on, maybe or

00:00:19

maybe, maybe you've gone, anniversary year for the First

00:00:22

League of the city of Perm;

00:00:25

serious people will decide who is worthy to advance to 1/4

00:00:30

[applause] the

00:00:36

host of the game, the champion of the Major League

00:00:45

[music]

00:00:50

[applause]

00:00:54

[music]

00:01:01

[music]

00:01:04

Well, it

00:01:07

seems like nothing

00:01:10

Hello everyone This is a new qualifying game for the

00:01:12

1/8 of the First League of the International KVN Union,

00:01:15

it’s absolutely new, nothing like a

00:01:18

Muscovite

00:01:21

I’ve been in Perm for the second week

00:01:28

Yes, I wear the same thing the

00:01:33

teams are charged for the new season And this

00:01:35

means the time has come

00:01:37

[applause]

00:01:40

[music]

00:01:41

Before the first performance for today

00:01:43

Let's see how many places we have left

00:01:45

for the season

00:01:48

[music]

00:01:52

a The first team to appear on this stage will be the KVN team

00:01:56

Multiplex city of Vladivostok

00:01:59

Far Eastern Federal University

00:02:05

[music ]

00:02:18

Hello everyone, We are young guys, so

00:02:22

for us KVN is stupid to ruffle, not everyone in

00:02:26

the room knows what roflit is to rofli

00:02:28

This is kind of a joke.

00:02:42

Rufli is when you are the fourth governor promising to finish building a zoo to ruffle is when you are an Honored Artist

00:02:45

of Russia and on an Agent at the same time to

00:02:49

rofli is when a store with cheap

00:02:52

alcohol in the entrance is called Bristol,

00:02:59

you raffle it when

00:03:01

you won the Major League last year And this season you

00:03:04

announce the ratings, it’s about you, you

00:03:12

raffle it when He tells everyone that

00:03:14

you play in the television League but you don’t

00:03:16

say that according to the referee TV

00:03:21

Darov, this is when you yourself ordered all the flowers

00:03:24

from Instagram posted wrote and who we are

00:03:27

Secrets fan

00:03:29

Ira this is a cringe

00:03:35

parable your cringe is

00:03:37

[music]

00:03:42

Ira you knew that the best sex is after a

00:03:45

quarrel

00:03:47

Yes,

00:03:49

you are a fool

00:03:52

Go the hell stop Well, it would be better if you took me some

00:03:56

flowers,

00:03:59

and it also infuriates you that all the girls love

00:04:02

flowers I I spend 10,000 on a bouquet so that she can

00:04:06

just sniff and be happy Although

00:04:12

drugs perform exactly the same function

00:04:16

Yes, I just need to explain here Styopa

00:04:18

Every time he gets offended, he starts

00:04:20

reading his [ __ ] stand-up

00:04:24

and you are also enraged by these guys who

00:04:27

are called small by the girl

00:04:30

compared to Everest

00:04:33

or these photos This is me in a car with

00:04:36

my online What Alania in a child

00:04:38

seat are you talking about, are

00:04:42

you

00:04:47

actually my boy and girl this is not for

00:04:49

you but for those who are raising bus fares for the second time in a year

00:04:57

Yes, here I need to clarify this is Bogdan my

00:05:00

ex guy current current guy I

00:05:04

'm changing why did you start

00:05:07

dating a poodle I beg you Say yes no Why did the

00:05:11

ex guy Hey move away from my little one

00:05:17

and that you're the coolest here I also

00:05:19

have a cool friend onion

00:05:26

I got where I ran to stand you're the

00:05:29

smartest here Well yes I Guess my riddle

00:05:31

In winter and summer, the same color pen

00:05:34

fits

00:05:36

Give me another one in winter and summer in one color

00:05:39

jacket correctly Give me another one just

00:05:42

don’t quietly suggest in winter in summer one

00:05:44

color linoleum So I don’t understand What did you

00:05:46

decide you bought for me Listen, let me tell you a

00:05:49

riddle in winter in summer one color

00:05:52

uncle So the cunning one gave me all the words,

00:05:55

left nothing onions, something was late. That

00:05:58

means I’m standing completely adequately, I’m

00:05:59

not touching anyone from the Kama, I’m drinking here, I feel the soul

00:06:03

rising on the body, I’m like this With my

00:06:06

own eyes,

00:06:09

now I’m living forever

00:06:15

boys, Do you know what Scientists found On

00:06:18

the other side of the moon that

00:06:21

[music]

00:06:27

and you also think that all the original

00:06:30

transitions to miniatures are crap

00:06:35

No, well then Show, show

00:06:41

[music]

00:06:44

Let's imagine a sailor returned from a

00:06:47

voyage lasting 12 months chick chick chick

00:06:50

I urgently need my chick

00:06:52

Where is my chick chick

00:06:59

how you will be sad for a long time

00:07:01

[music] an

00:07:08

incident at the pharmacy can I please have

00:07:11

condoms Yes of course 500 rubles

00:07:14

That's what the Pushkin card is

00:07:19

young man she can't

00:07:21

pay here I mean the state is out

00:07:23

of my way for entertainment

00:07:26

you don't understand such entertainment It's all within the framework of

00:07:28

culture Natasha I have an

00:07:30

educated girl well-read yes And what do you

00:07:33

think Pushkin would be against You say

00:07:35

Thank you I don’t take alcohol for her Well no

00:07:36

thanks I don’t need it I’ll take it Get out of here

00:07:39

normal and if everything is like a museum

00:07:43

[music]

00:07:51

Listen near the Apple store it’s like

00:07:55

you have an iPhone And here I am I bought xiaomi, I do

00:07:58

n’t regret anything, can

00:08:01

you imagine, it turns out you don’t have to

00:08:03

overpay for the fact that gays

00:08:05

came up with this? It’s not like we just have a

00:08:08

few different functions, not like you have

00:08:09

on your iPhone. For example, we wanted to

00:08:11

take a

00:08:12

screenshot like this.

00:08:15

Or, for example, you’re in business. Well as

00:08:17

I press manure with my hands, it means a bell is

00:08:19

coming from you there until you answer, we are

00:08:22

talking, it’s freedom, I wanted it, I

00:08:24

threw it away like this. After 2 hours I came, it’s lying in

00:08:26

its place, no one touched it,

00:08:27

even the homeless people changed the glass, ah,

00:08:30

I also used to walk like you and

00:08:33

I was showing off with these iPhones, then I thought and

00:08:34

realized I’m a scourge in front of whom should I show off?

00:08:36

Listen, let me give you my old iPhone

00:08:39

SE

00:08:42

[music]

00:08:49

and KVN 63 This is an old game And we are young

00:08:53

guys That’s why we’ll joke memes but

00:08:55

old What kind of nonsense?

00:09:00

Let’s start, what did I say? Let’s start so this is

00:09:04

who is no longer sitting Igor Znobikhin And I

00:09:07

thought the owl is still coming if I wear a

00:09:11

Candybober on my head This still does

00:09:15

not mean that I am a woman or a

00:09:18

ballerina so And this is who is sitting this is Irina

00:09:20

Ivenskikh Well why is she

00:09:25

and who is this Dmitry Kolchin Dmitry I want

00:09:28

to ask you how the cook asks the cook

00:09:31

how do you like dinner, it’s just not red to be

00:09:35

honest this salad infuriates me Styopa how is this

00:09:38

a chick so And who is Alexey Krivenya the

00:09:41

champion of the Major League Do

00:09:43

you think I won’t beat you

00:09:48

You think I won’t destroy you I

00:09:52

will destroy you how much

00:09:54

is it it will be 10 5 in the morning

00:09:57

so this is who

00:10:02

we are to you from Vladivostok

00:10:08

who else okay the governor of the Perm

00:10:12

Territory was sitting a serious man what would you

00:10:14

tell him what would a serious

00:10:16

man tell him He has already

00:10:19

become so full of knowledge that Cabota lives 100

00:10:21

million billion years on the same

00:10:23

trillions and trillions of planets like

00:10:25

our Earth, this world is absolutely clear to them

00:10:27

and he seeks only one calmness and

00:10:29

tranquility, and this is the harmony of the

00:10:31

state with the infinite eternal and

00:10:32

the contemplation of fractal similarity,

00:10:42

and you come to him with your jokes Dmitry

00:10:45

Nikolaevich Hello

00:10:50

Nobody can change Well, that’s our

00:10:53

authority How they say everything,

00:10:56

well, the Indians, I'm crazy

00:11:01

guys, can I sing the final song

00:11:07

all this time I had some kind of

00:11:09

final song I stuck to it

00:11:14

When the business cards are over, they

00:11:22

will show the jokes, it's not a joke,

00:11:29

you've already stood among all these

00:11:34

guys

00:11:36

[music]

00:11:38

remember that there is a team

00:11:44

we can be with you at a distance

00:11:48

but it’s better to cut it short

00:11:50

[music]

00:11:54

[applause]

00:11:58

but I sold wires a thousand times so

00:12:03

that we could buy tickets here Yes, my wife

00:12:08

Twisted soil sold Salute game

00:12:15

[music]

00:12:25

bow - This is what dude Thank you

00:12:34

[applause]

00:12:44

So the first Freestyle from the

00:12:47

team has ended KVN Multiplex city of

00:12:49

Vladivostok and right now we will find out whether the

00:12:51

team will pass further or not,

00:12:57

each member of the jury will say so the team

00:13:00

passes or not 4 to will allow the team to

00:13:04

advance to 1/4 and three yes will send the team to

00:13:08

standby mode even allow the end of

00:13:11

all qualifying games and Dmitry will start

00:13:14

Kolchin popular actor showman

00:13:16

TV presenter champion of the Major League of KVN

00:13:18

Dmitry if this is all true Why do you

00:13:21

still live in Samara

00:13:24

now the secret has been revealed where all

00:13:27

Russian show business is located Samara is exactly where

00:13:30

we have show business now there is

00:13:38

definitely something in it Of course,

00:13:41

something new is hatching

00:13:45

in this team. I have not yet

00:13:48

been filled in the infinite eternal to

00:13:51

crack

00:13:53

this seed and I can’t firmly answer the

00:13:58

question of whether you will go further or not, with

00:14:01

age you become a little

00:14:03

conservative,

00:14:05

but sometimes you have to give chances, I say yes,

00:14:13

so let’s let's listen to the opinion of the next

00:14:15

member of the jury, champion of the Major League Alexey

00:14:18

Krivenya Lyosha, right away you

00:14:22

just as a person who is filming on

00:14:25

three channels, you can say no.

00:14:29

Thank you

00:14:31

guys, you know how a week ago we

00:14:35

sat in the same clothes at the same game, so

00:14:39

we said no to the funnier teams I do

00:14:43

n’t know when I really want them to

00:14:45

go further, you really are a young,

00:14:48

promising, cool team, but

00:14:52

now

00:14:54

I’ll say no, sorry,

00:15:00

let’s listen to Irina Ivenskikh, I

00:15:04

won’t talk for a long time guys, they definitely

00:15:06

have potential, they can definitely do more

00:15:09

And in general, I like many of the things

00:15:12

that they did today different

00:15:14

than before, but seeing what

00:15:16

happened on stage today, I’ll say no,

00:15:21

we continue to fight with the team,

00:15:24

listen

00:15:26

no.

00:15:31

Igor Aznabikhin, let me introduce you,

00:15:34

can’t boast of such regalia

00:15:37

as Dmitry’s, but lives in Moscow.

00:15:41

Igor, what do you think, I think I’ll

00:15:45

move to Samara

00:15:47

there show business things Yes, Dima is still a

00:15:50

business So let me not fight with anyone

00:15:52

and I won’t rofil I’ll say yes

00:15:55

[music]

00:16:00

the person who found out about the business lunch

00:16:02

Only thanks to the KVN people Deputy

00:16:04

General Director

00:16:10

Good evening

00:16:13

great game start of the game Despite

00:16:16

my colleagues didn’t change my clothes I changed my clothes

00:16:24

you know Perm the team from Vladivostok

00:16:28

probably

00:16:29

comes once every 10 years And we would like I

00:16:34

personally would like to see the

00:16:36

team from Vladivostok to the cities of Perm this year

00:16:38

Yes

00:16:40

[music]

00:16:44

well the team

00:16:46

goes through the waiting applause

00:16:48

[applause]

00:16:50

[music]

00:16:52

[applause]

00:16:54

[music] the

00:17:02

KVN Multiplex team thanks the

00:17:04

youth policy project of the

00:17:06

Far Eastern Federal

00:17:07

University, Kaida Novich Alexander

00:17:10

Yuryevich and the chairman of the board of the

00:17:12

Primorsky KVN Kir Kasyan David

00:17:14

Martunovich for their comprehensive support of

00:17:16

the team,

00:17:19

we will have only 6 games and if at the

00:17:24

end of these 6 games we will have

00:17:26

we will still select places from the teams

00:17:30

that are in the reserve and we will recruit them to the main squad.

00:17:33

I say we because I

00:17:36

hope to also be in this room,

00:17:38

be sure to watch the first League to

00:17:41

the end and you will find out whether Cheburashka will collect

00:17:43

7 billion yes or will remain in standby mode

00:17:48

and now we we'll see Freestyle from the

00:17:51

KVN team badminton section

00:17:53

Synergy University Moscow

00:17:55

[applause]

00:17:58

[music]

00:18:02

[applause]

00:18:04

[music]

00:18:06

save there Russian folk art is

00:18:09

dying

00:18:16

[music]

00:18:21

[applause]

00:18:31

don't rush to leave it's still KVN

00:18:35

they're warming up

00:18:38

Hello everyone My name is Sasha my parents

00:18:40

were afraid that I would end up in bad company,

00:18:42

so they gave me a talisman against

00:18:45

drugs

00:18:48

in my teens, I, like everyone else,

00:18:50

went against my parents, otherwise I

00:18:53

would be sitting now like a fool with a harp, an

00:19:05

exact hit.

00:19:08

As you can see, I’m not playing alone, there is a

00:19:10

person whose life turned out even worse

00:19:13

intrigue who yes

00:19:15

[music]

00:19:28

Seryozh What is this

00:19:35

Seryozha no one gave him away

00:19:45

no

00:19:51

wait wait Seryozh clearly someone is out

00:19:54

of tune I played normally, maybe you can

00:19:56

tune the instrument

00:20:01

Well, you understand, he’s here with us and drinks water from the

00:20:04

tap, but because he’s not arrogant

00:20:13

now all this the situation will end and I

00:20:17

’ll fly to Baikal,

00:20:18

what’s the situation? Well, poverty

00:20:22

is Maxim Max. What are you playing

00:20:29

[music]

00:20:37

[applause]

00:20:39

that’s all

00:20:43

if not, don’t invent anything.

00:21:04

This is Lera. My girlfriend,

00:21:06

guess what kind of girls are

00:21:09

interested in the balalaika, which ones

00:21:13

we met on speed

00:21:15

dating but I didn’t have time to hit her in 5

00:21:18

minutes Well, you see, Kalinka is coming 6 and I

00:21:22

managed

00:21:27

where are you putting the tool

00:21:31

or is it a case

00:21:38

Sasha let’s play the famous game

00:21:40

stone woman patriarchy

00:21:44

and what are the rules Well the patriarch drinks

00:21:47

a woman and a stone hits a woman cool

00:21:51

game my

00:21:54

convenient

00:21:57

[music ]

00:22:08

You're incredibly fast

00:22:10

Sometimes you talk as if you're from

00:22:13

another time, I know who you are, say it

00:22:18

loud, you're a Chechen

00:22:22

Lera, what the hell is this nonsense

00:22:27

[music]

00:22:34

Lev that's it Go away, please don't stop us from

00:22:36

further popularizing Russian folk

00:22:37

art You guys are archaic, no matter what that

00:22:42

means,

00:22:43

people aren't interested folk art for

00:22:46

people It’s interesting to look at miniatures, what do

00:22:50

you think anecdotal situations

00:22:56

[music]

00:22:59

the guy has been trying to

00:23:01

explain to the girl from Andropov’s crocodile for four hours

00:23:10

[music]

00:23:13

girls change a lot when

00:23:16

they find out that they have somehow surpassed men

00:23:18

in bowling now Be careful

00:23:21

not to break your nails Strike

00:23:28

[applause]

00:23:42

Lech, actually, I don’t have a mother,

00:23:47

actually, I was offended

00:23:55

[music]

00:23:59

I’m telling you there are four Yes, the registry office needs

00:24:02

like two, that’s enough for you. Why the hell did they

00:24:04

take it out normally again, the miniatures

00:24:06

showed Ler, actually, it’s a Russian

00:24:08

folk instrument, it’s ours Sash's trick is

00:24:11

our trick to prove that you are not sick,

00:24:15

we earn money from this. What money do

00:24:18

you have in the photo in your passport in the

00:24:20

lower right corner it says taken on redmi 9

00:24:23

Pro you How can you not understand how

00:24:25

important our activities are for Russian

00:24:28

culture

00:24:36

[applause]

00:24:41

this is the sound Russian soul the sound of glasses

00:24:46

the sound of the queue at Sberbank

00:24:50

the sound of the fact that China is now helping Russia open up

00:24:53

[music]

00:24:55

especially in this instrument

00:24:58

and cancer can play Give it here

00:25:03

[music]

00:25:12

want me

00:25:17

wait Ler You know how to play the balalaika

00:25:20

[laughter]

00:25:26

Now we can play together

00:25:30

[music]

00:25:58

[applause]

00:26:09

well, you see, the balalaika means it’s not

00:26:12

just an instrument, it’s our cultural code,

00:26:15

even if Lera learned to play it.

00:26:18

So, Russian folk culture lives in

00:26:21

us, unites us and makes us who

00:26:26

we are, they

00:26:32

won’t evaluate the national idea so sincerely

00:26:45

section in badminton thank you

00:26:48

[music]

00:27:00

it was a team badminton section of

00:27:03

the jury You know what to do

00:27:08

Igor Znobikhin Igor Aznabikhin I’m somehow

00:27:11

afraid of you someone already see the voice

00:27:13

trembled when she said the name I don’t know

00:27:15

what to do actually the

00:27:17

KVN team badminton section or on the

00:27:21

balalaika It

00:27:22

seems to me that in these two weeks

00:27:26

that we are here,

00:27:29

but it’s still more yes

00:27:33

than no,

00:27:42

good

00:27:43

Dmitry Kolchin would sign up for this

00:27:45

section in badminton is the most

00:27:49

logical team in

00:27:52

today’s game. I think they are in the

00:27:55

future. They can perform successfully and on

00:27:57

Channel One on the Culture channel

00:28:00

[music]

00:28:01

depending on what will prevail in your

00:28:04

speech Pay attention to the topics you

00:28:08

create the impression of intelligent

00:28:10

people, it would be cool This is not to be lost I

00:28:13

say

00:28:15

yes

00:28:17

[applause]

00:28:27

or against here as in the State Duma

00:28:31

abstaining will not work here

00:28:33

serious matters

00:28:35

seriously perceiving a rather funny

00:28:39

team in the search I perceive you like this the

00:28:41

team in the search somewhere maybe even

00:28:44

in advance but I will say yes

00:28:46

[applause]

00:28:52

Ruben partivian what do you think

00:28:56

Good evening again Alya Despite the fact that

00:28:59

a week has passed and you did

00:29:04

n’t like it last week after the first game how you and I

00:29:06

took a ride in a taxi

00:29:08

remember

00:29:10

today you and I will ride on

00:29:13

public transport and how true is the

00:29:17

Russian guy I want to ask

00:29:19

the team a question and how will you surprise us in

00:29:23

1/4 what tools do you still have

00:29:27

please tell us the main jokes

00:29:29

that are in one the fourth of you are left

00:29:31

We want to know if they are interested in

00:29:34

Rubina balalaika this is just the beginning in

00:29:36

Russia there are still many excellent instruments

00:29:37

that can be Personally I say yes thank you

00:29:46

team

00:29:51

[applause]

00:29:54

[music]

00:30:09

KVN team badminton section

00:30:11

thanks Synergy University represented by the

00:30:13

president of the Synergy corporation

00:30:16

Vadim Georgievich Lobov as well as the rector of the

00:30:18

Synergy University Vasilyev Artem

00:30:20

Igorevich and the projector for youth

00:30:22

policy of the Synergy University Sultanov

00:30:25

Roman Sergeevich

00:30:27

don’t forget to like if this video

00:30:31

gets 100 thousand likes then in 1/4 we

00:30:35

will raffle off a car

00:30:40

I’m certainly not a Gamer but Okay

00:30:44

KVN team Carmen named after Plekhanov Moscow

00:30:49

[applause]

00:30:54

[music]

00:30:57

[applause]

00:30:59

[music]

00:31:14

audience watching

00:31:17

Hello, my name is Anna and it’s from

00:31:20

me that you hide children’s faces behind emoticons on social networks,

00:31:24

so I brought you Muscovites Muscovites are

00:31:27

the only people who go to get their

00:31:29

teeth done in regions where they can get them knocked out

00:31:36

I for they are both mommy and daddy, and until they

00:31:39

go further than their parents, they won’t

00:31:41

see the Dominicans, it’s been painful since the night

00:31:45

[music]

00:31:48

Artyom once again

00:31:51

here is Perm But the Dominican Republic, you see

00:32:04

no difference Dear jury, yes,

00:32:12

you guys are not tired of living in constant

00:32:16

fear Liza babaydana is not exists They

00:32:20

just scare disobedient Patriots and

00:32:23

give a simpler face I'm deden website but

00:32:26

adult viewers don't understand who it is but I'm the

00:32:29

Hippolytes of the second half Irony of

00:32:32

fate [music]

00:32:38

girl don't be sad Eat the Big Special

00:32:44

[music]

00:32:45

Federal Service for Control

00:32:51

huge special

00:32:56

So you slowly put everything down foreign

00:33:00

words on the floor and kick them to us good

00:33:02

Amnesia forgot

00:33:05

the cleaning they removed the remake let's redo

00:33:08

the quintessence

00:33:09

[applause]

00:33:13

coworking Well, we have to work here Raise your

00:33:16

hands boss Well, you can't think of an

00:33:19

alternative to the word president

00:33:21

to the campaign she is with us forever

00:33:27

this is who And this is an ordinary Russian peasant we

00:33:31

took from him word Fershtein now he is

00:33:34

replacement therapy Good good why are

00:33:38

you doing this Why don’t you

00:33:40

understand son we have such a rich

00:33:43

language why do you need this krinsh when we

00:33:46

have our Russian Spanish shame

00:33:50

Why do you need this fact when we have

00:33:53

our Russian Japanese policeman Why do

00:33:57

you need it this merch when we have our

00:33:59

Russian Belarusian knitwear, we already

00:34:03

signed something,

00:34:06

we're late for the holiday

00:34:08

about the fact that

00:34:10

all the Russian letters in the word America

00:34:18

need to be explained, I agreed with

00:34:20

some people that we periodically

00:34:22

went out and took the guys out of their comfort zone, what are

00:34:26

you doing? Yes, I thought I forgot the interjections,

00:34:31

we’re working very poorly

00:34:33

[music]

00:34:37

Put a barbershop at the entrance, they forgot to

00:34:39

hang bells Hello,

00:34:42

what do you need? And it’s not you who lost

00:34:45

the bell,

00:34:47

someone came to see me

00:34:55

[music] the

00:34:57

fastest courses on refusals go to

00:35:01

hell Thank you 2000 my best

00:35:05

student

00:35:06

[music]

00:35:10

Ivan Fedorovich Kruzenshtern passed a DNA test

00:35:13

to understand whether he is more of a person or a

00:35:15

steamship

00:35:17

Well, in the process, more of a steamship

00:35:20

[music]

00:35:24

I don’t want to

00:35:31

Let’s do it again Condolences,

00:35:37

in short, let’s say something about Moscow

00:35:39

Show

00:35:41

me only recently

00:35:45

[music ]

00:35:54

who are we, Russian IT specialists?

00:35:58

Let's quickly get to the point, we should also make a

00:36:00

Russian analogue of what all

00:36:08

Well, what are the benefits on your sweater,

00:36:12

you can fix it naturally We are

00:36:15

professionals, Denis, for example, he

00:36:17

is excited by the numbers, it’s time for

00:36:19

Christmas trees,

00:36:21

will you fix it or not Listen, there is

00:36:24

very little time in the morning we are fixing

00:36:26

RuTube In the afternoon we are fixing RuTube in the evening we are

00:36:30

finishing off RuTube so that it doesn’t suffer

00:36:35

Well, do something now, of course there is an

00:36:38

option, it did

00:36:42

n’t work Let’s go to the government

00:36:45

explain that it doesn’t work like that

00:36:47

no thank you we owe you something Listen to

00:36:52

us we don’t need so much money, yes,

00:36:54

woman, you need it, son, we have these women, a

00:36:57

tarabyte,

00:37:04

all go away, okay, we’re going, but if you do it

00:37:08

again,

00:37:11

you can already calm down. How can you

00:37:13

calm down? I’m telling you, we need to get rid of all

00:37:15

our people. They’ve already left, standing there,

00:37:18

you can’t leave me here. one

00:37:19

We must work with you as a well-coordinated

00:37:23

mechanism, because only by working together we were

00:37:26

able to launch the first nuclear reactor,

00:37:28

launch the first icebreaker,

00:37:30

send the first man into space. That

00:37:33

is, you want to motivate me

00:37:35

simply by remembering old achievements

00:37:38

But we are Russian

00:37:41

and it worked again

00:37:44

[music]

00:37:52

Well, guys, it was cool,

00:37:59

come back, this year turns 300 years old,

00:38:02

friends, literally from every iron

00:38:05

you can hear that interrupting this year

00:38:07

turns 300 years old and we would like to

00:38:09

wish it so that you always remain

00:38:11

young And you were always 18 well, cool,

00:38:15

that is, now all that did for the anniversary of

00:38:17

Perm will disappear that no

00:38:22

[music]

00:38:45

in the meantime, Permians think that this is Photoshop,

00:38:48

they are real shooting for you, the

00:38:50

KVN team Carmen Kartez of the

00:38:52

Plekhanov University of Economics thank you, the

00:39:05

KVN team Carmen Cortez showed her

00:39:08

Freestyle And now it’s time to find out

00:39:10

what the jury members think about it

00:39:14

[ music]

00:39:17

yo Wow

00:39:25

Yes, even I don’t have that bro,

00:39:29

what I want to say about the performance was somehow

00:39:32

swaying all the time, I

00:39:34

had a feeling that the

00:39:36

level of the tempo was rising a little and again

00:39:39

somehow it was

00:39:40

going downwards, this is what

00:39:45

played out towards the end like but due to the fact that

00:39:47

the performance, as it seemed to me, was a little

00:39:50

longer than you usually perform, it was

00:39:52

probably not easy for you to treat this as an

00:39:55

experiment, since in the First League

00:39:58

they know how to experiment, I

00:40:03

don’t know what the decision will be, but I agree

00:40:06

if you end up in a standby mode I

00:40:08

say yes

00:40:14

Irina Ivensky

00:40:21

you are not in the State Duma That’s

00:40:24

why I look at the guys for

00:40:27

a long time and I understand that there is something in them,

00:40:31

they actually experiment,

00:40:33

even if it doesn’t always

00:40:34

work out, but they try themselves and in general

00:40:38

But I have to give someone a chance today,

00:40:40

I’ll say yes

00:40:45

Igor Aznabikhin Oh guys, don’t

00:40:49

get me wrong, too,

00:40:51

please, here you are sitting here Yes, at

00:40:54

this table you are there on stage And we are here and

00:40:58

I want to wait for the team to see the

00:40:59

team that will come out, it comes out and you

00:41:02

say that’s for sure, yes, but so far

00:41:05

we have such teams for some reason no That’s why

00:41:08

If you understand me, after

00:41:10

all, I’ll say no

00:41:18

Well, I understand it’s already really difficult

00:41:21

to make decisions, but it’s also hard for teams to

00:41:23

perform. Imagine teams that are

00:41:25

just starting first, second, it’s always

00:41:28

difficult for them, then the hall, which is not yet warmed up, the jury

00:41:30

thinks, What else is there we want to

00:41:32

see everyone, and the teams that are already at the end have

00:41:36

also seen everyone and it’s already kind of

00:41:39

difficult to make a decision, but those in the

00:41:41

middle are

00:41:42

also unfairly

00:41:44

hard everywhere. I agree, in the place of

00:41:47

the presenter, imagine, here the presenter is standing

00:41:49

and the

00:41:50

team is performing, it’s hard, all this is

00:41:53

hard I’m just in in the middle of the game I realized

00:41:57

that my legs are visible to everyone,

00:41:59

well Alexey,

00:42:07

I don’t know your word. I have very mixed

00:42:11

feelings. I don’t understand you have a lot of

00:42:13

cool jokes, that’s just clear

00:42:22

jokes. Cool passers. It’s true, there are a lot of cool jokes. But I agree with Dima.

00:42:25

Maybe just this was a longer performance

00:42:28

and somehow it didn’t turn out very well. Exactly

00:42:32

I’m sure for some reason that you

00:42:35

will achieve everything but Sorry, I’ll say no

00:42:40

So what we have is yes yes no no Well,

00:42:45

again Ruben Partizan will decide fate The

00:42:48

fact is that I also know this the team is a

00:42:50

wonderful team knowing from the Moscow

00:42:54

leagues the team is a

00:42:55

wonderful team and I hope Who

00:42:59

said today no they will be wrong

00:43:01

because the guys will further prove that they

00:43:04

always Yes and I say yes

00:43:12

KVN Carmen goes into standby mode

00:43:15

Guys this is cool congratulations

00:43:19

[applause]

00:43:20

[music] [applause] the

00:43:31

KVN team Carmen Kartest thanks for their

00:43:34

support the leadership of the Plekhanov Russian

00:43:36

University of Economics

00:43:37

represented by the rector Ivan

00:43:39

Vasilyevich Lobanov and also the

00:43:41

artistic director of the

00:43:43

Plekhanov KVN Yuri

00:43:45

[music]

00:43:47

this is the opinion of our jury What is

00:43:50

your opinion Write in the comments

00:43:52

interesting Damn

00:43:54

three Freestyles played and the

00:43:59

KVN team ends the game with a spikelet in the city of Mikhailov

00:44:06

[music]

00:44:10

[applause]

00:44:20

[music]

00:44:22

I told you about pumping

00:44:26

Hello everyone And we came from the small

00:44:29

town of Mikhailovsk You probably think

00:44:31

that this is some kind of province That we have

00:44:33

geese walking along the streets Well firstly, they don’t

00:44:35

walk but walk

00:44:39

and secondly Mikhailovsk This is the most

00:44:41

progressive city, we even opened a sex shop

00:44:44

Yes, everything from the garden is an

00:44:52

outcast of our team Andrey, he

00:44:55

even took part in childbirth at one time I just

00:44:57

wanted to live

00:45:02

Well, to finally make sure that

00:45:04

Andrey is a person, it’s enough just to

00:45:05

find out the story about how he got a

00:45:07

job as a cashier, fast forward to that day

00:45:12

Hello, Can I have a baby food

00:45:15

passport, why is it that

00:45:17

you don’t look 9

00:45:20

months old,

00:45:21

but you just sold

00:45:23

beer to a schoolboy, but he had a passport

00:45:28

and in front of us today there are two tasks: the

00:45:30

first is not to fail, don’t worry, we are not

00:45:33

Gazelle

00:45:44

and the second will be liked by all the women in this

00:45:47

room. Wait, but men don’t like it.

00:45:50

Relax. Not recently. Maybe

00:45:54

you won’t joke about me like that.

00:45:56

Maybe you won’t behave like a woman. I

00:45:59

mean Let's come to me No,

00:46:04

damn, I'm so tired of this, I'm a real

00:46:07

man Polina, come here

00:46:09

[music]

00:46:14

and I'm tired of all this, come here

00:46:17

[music]

00:46:20

and I'm tired of all this, come here

00:46:23

We're breaking up

00:46:26

[laughter]

00:46:27

Hey, another one of these pranks I'm dragging you

00:46:31

Roman, you always choose opponents

00:46:33

who are weaker than you, this is not true Roman

00:46:40

drove

00:46:41

[music]

00:46:45

and we are pleased to perform in Perm because they are

00:46:47

filming here Real boys don’t

00:46:49

agree Thailand is where they are filming

00:46:51

Real boys

00:46:54

[applause]

00:46:59

Andrey, you got enough And don’t you think that

00:47:01

first you need to explain to people what such a

00:47:03

spikelet is easy a

00:47:06

spikelet is bread a spikelet and so is a

00:47:10

spikelet of you this beer you drink Beer on stage

00:47:14

you drink beer without chips you drink Beer without

00:47:17

me you drink beer Well, who are you after that

00:47:20

Andrey

00:47:29

You really want to start with beer and like

00:47:32

all normal people

00:47:36

[applause]

00:47:37

Well since you're already ready Maybe you can

00:47:40

show me something

00:47:41

[music]

00:47:48

Andrey took off the prostitute You how did you even climb a

00:47:51

tree?

00:47:58

The taxi driver figured out How to take five people away at once

00:48:01

when you're driving, you'll dial

00:48:04

[applause]

00:48:07

the mayor of Perm is thinking of where else to

00:48:09

hang the banner of Perm 300 years

00:48:13

Well, not in Saratov yet there were

00:48:18

scammers calling Vladimir Putin,

00:48:22

three numbers on the back of your

00:48:25

card

00:48:28

[music]

00:48:36

friends, don’t think that we live in

00:48:39

some kind of little world of our own, by the way, we

00:48:41

also follow the news, we recently

00:48:43

found out that Shidze Pin visited Russia.

00:48:46

What did Putin order? on

00:48:48

AliExpress

00:48:54

and also UEFA allowed the Russian national

00:48:58

football team to play as many as 5 friendly matches

00:49:00

And where will we find so many comrades

00:49:09

Andrey, well, we have a good team

00:49:12

Well, remember the bronze at the

00:49:15

European Championship 2008 quarterfinals of the

00:49:18

World Cup 2018 how many good moments

00:49:22

our team gave us 2

00:49:29

Andrey here what the jury will think about you Yes, to be

00:49:32

honest, I don’t even care what they

00:49:34

think about me I shouldn’t baptize children with them

00:49:42

Andrey Tell me, do you have

00:49:44

some kind of goal in life? Yes, I want to

00:49:46

go back to the past with the knowledge

00:49:48

that I have now

00:49:49

[music ]

00:49:52

[applause]

00:49:56

children how many times two are two

00:50:00

You are also from the future

00:50:04

like this Sit down normally You will sit down now you’ll get hit

00:50:07

in the head for this and

00:50:10

sit down for a

00:50:13

walk anyway it won’t be useful in the future you won’t

00:50:15

believe it it will be useful

00:50:19

and now I’ll go back to the day when I was

00:50:22

humiliated

00:50:25

[applause ]

00:50:27

you're such a sucker yourself

00:50:31

something is wrong again

00:50:34

you're a sucker Whoever calls you names is called that himself

00:50:38

yes what is this again it's

00:50:48

better and now the most important thing

00:50:55

[applause]

00:50:57

Son I went to buy bread your dad

00:51:01

but I already bought bread

00:51:07

then I I’ll fly into space But you’ve already been

00:51:12

in prison

00:51:13

then I’ll go and vote in the elections they’ve

00:51:17

already voted for you

00:51:21

Andrey Why are you stopping me,

00:51:24

understand, in fact, I returned from the

00:51:26

future To fix something, you know,

00:51:28

I’d also like to fix something

00:51:34

[applause ]

00:51:35

Dear, I’m waiting for you in the bedroom I can’t

00:51:39

I need to help my neighbor

00:51:47

guys Wait Where is Andrey You

00:51:50

see, friends, mistakes of the past need to be

00:51:55

corrected in the present so as not to lose

00:51:57

yourself in the future

00:51:59

guys, actually, I’m here

00:52:02

Andrey, you were born after all, Yes, only in

00:52:05

the next door I’ll catch you in the apartment

00:52:08

[music]

00:52:22

friends, and after our performance you

00:52:25

might get the impression that

00:52:27

Mikhailovsk is a small,

00:52:28

useless city. Yes, that’s true, but in fact

00:52:32

Mikhailovsk is the most popular

00:52:33

settlement in Russia because there are a

00:52:36

huge number of places with that name.

00:52:37

See for yourself

00:52:39

Stavropol Territory Sverdlovsk region

00:52:42

Volgograd region there are a lot of them and

00:52:44

today We represent not only ourselves

00:52:46

We represent the whole of Russia if

00:52:49

you look at the map and connect all

00:52:51

Mikhailovsky to one line you will get

00:52:53

some kind of crap And this is Mikhailovsk

00:52:57

in all Mikhailovsk there are as many

00:52:59

people living as in Moscow Let's compare

00:53:01

these two cities in 1147 Moscow

00:53:05

was founded by Dolgoruky at the same time

00:53:07

Mikhailovsk was founded by Krivoruky in

00:53:11

1812 the inhabitants of Mikhailovsk Following the example of

00:53:14

Moscow, they also burned their city, although

00:53:17

no one attacked them,

00:53:20

but we still love Mikhailovsk

00:53:22

because even in its name there is the word

00:53:25

love yes in English but in Russian

00:53:28

letters

00:53:30

and if after all this there are people left in the hall

00:53:32

who say that

00:53:35

Mikhailovsk is a province, we won’t be

00:53:38

offended by them, they’re still going to Kungur

00:53:52

[music]

00:53:53

[applause]

00:53:55

[music]

00:54:07

and We are the only team out of 25 that is

00:54:11

in the past season played in the Major League.

00:54:14

Look for yourself

00:54:15

recently, Mikhailovsk was attacked by

00:54:17

aliens. But thank God the Cossacks

00:54:19

turned out to be stronger

00:54:23

and this season We are playing the first one.

00:54:26

We just thought so. Well, what is the Major

00:54:29

League when Perm is three hundred years old?

00:54:34

Well, we pumped up

00:54:38

[applause]

00:54:50

it was the KVN team. do

00:54:53

they pass in one quarter Now we’ll find out

00:54:57

[music]

00:54:59

Igor Well, it’s interesting now I’d like to

00:55:01

listen to your opinion Yes, to

00:55:02

see such a team that

00:55:06

it comes out and you immediately understand that it’s a

00:55:08

yes But Guys, let’s also

00:55:11

be

00:55:13

reasonable people after all, yes And if we

00:55:17

teams with experience of participating in the Major League

00:55:21

say No, who are we anyway, so of

00:55:24

course yes

00:55:30

Alexey Krivenya I don’t know the word for you

00:55:33

great team you can applaud

00:55:35

in general a very good performance

00:55:38

I think you in the future Everything will work out

00:55:41

everything will be cool and I say yes

00:55:44

[applause]

00:55:50

Despite the team playing together with

00:55:53

you above the League last year, you

00:55:55

remember this team

00:55:59

Well, there was no time for rivals there were

00:56:02

only enemies Dr. House

00:56:10

and now you understand that this is a wonderful

00:56:12

wonderful team that played

00:56:14

last year in the Major League and guys Thank

00:56:17

you for not stopping playing you

00:56:21

are moving on and came this year

00:56:23

to play in the First League I hope that this

00:56:25

year everything will work out for you here And in a

00:56:27

year we will see you came out I say yes

00:56:36

Dmitry quiver what do you think

00:56:39

great feeling

00:56:41

elegantly cool text humor confident

00:56:45

experience Everything is shaping up to

00:56:49

say yes and I I can state that the

00:56:53

choice is the right Strategies for the season This is a

00:56:57

very good foundation for the future, what are you

00:57:00

actually doing? I say yes

00:57:02

[applause]

00:57:10

[music] the

00:57:25

KVN team Kolosok thanks the

00:57:27

governor of the Stavropol Territory

00:57:29

Vladimir Vladimirovich Vladimirov and

00:57:31

the head of the Shpakovsky municipal district

00:57:33

Igor Vladimirovich Serov

00:57:36

and all the news and all information about the games

00:57:40

is available in our Telegram channel

00:57:42

Telegram channel of the First League

00:57:45

qr code on the screen Subscribe you

00:57:49

will figure it out or call your grandson

00:57:54

and now a little gratitude from the First

00:57:56

League team participating in today's game

00:57:59

thanks to the Ural Perm hotel, the official

00:58:02

accommodation facility for guests of the First League The

00:58:04

First League thanks the government of

00:58:07

Perm region and personally the governor of

00:58:09

Makhonin Dmitry Nikolaevich for all the

00:58:11

outside support, as well as all residents of the

00:58:15

Perm region for the warm welcome

00:58:24

and do not forget that today’s game, like the

00:58:27

entire season of the First League, is dedicated to the

00:58:29

300th anniversary of Perm

00:58:33

And now I invite the teams of the

00:58:36

second qualifying 1/8 of the First to the stage leagues

00:58:41

[applause]

00:58:49

[music]

00:58:59

and now the results of the second qualifying

00:59:01

game for the quarterfinals of the first League, the

00:59:04

KVN team of the Moscow badminton section passes directly through and the

00:59:13

KVN team, the spikelet of the city of Mikhailovsk, also passes directly through the

00:59:22

KVN team

00:59:25

Carmen Cortez, the city of Moscow,

00:59:32

and the KVN team Multiplex Vladivostok

00:59:35

[ applause]

00:59:41

[music]

00:59:45

and we also have a good tradition, always

00:59:48

after the game we take a group photo

00:59:55

friends Thank you all this was the first league of the

00:59:58

International KVN Union in the city of Perm

01:00:00

As for me Anniversary nishtyak Thank you

01:00:03

Perm it was time

01:00:05

[applause]

01:00:11

[applause]

01:00:15

[music ]

01:00:33

this day

01:00:44

[music]

Description:

КВН. Первая лига 2023. Вторая 1/8 Ведущая - Аля Кокушкина. Жюри: Рубен Партевян, Дмитрий Колчин, Игорь Ознобихин, Алексей Кривеня, Ирина Ивенских. 00:00 - Вступление 02:01 - Мультиплекс (Владивосток) 17:56 - Секция по бадминтону (Москва) 30:51 - Кармен Кортес (Москва) 44:03 - Колосок (Михайловск) 59:00 - Итог Первая лига МС КВН является телевизионной лигой Международного союза КВН и существует с 1993 года. За это время игры Первой лиги проходили в разных городах России. В частности, в Воронеже, Казани, Рязани, Тюмени, Санкт-Петербурге, Уфе. С 2022 до 2025 года все игры этой лиги будут проходить в Перми. Главная цель Первой лиги КВН - подготовка команд к выступлению в Высшей лиге КВН на Первом канале. Первая лига в Телеграм: https://t.me/liga1KVN Первая лига в ВК: https://vk.com/ligakvn1 🟡 Подписаться на канал: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCudnwGsIfsKmrkb2YKgW1CA?sub_confirmation=1 🟡 Ссылки на официальные сообщества МС КВН: https://kvn.ru/ - Сайт МС КВН http://vk.com/kvnofficial - группа МС КВН в ВК https://twitter.com/kvnofficial - страница МС КВН в Twitter

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