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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
got to the oligarch's safe00:00:05
and fell asleep there in the00:00:09
morning, the secretary came and saw the safe's00:00:12
legs sticking out, fainted,00:00:16
then the oligarch's wife came00:00:19
looking out of the safe and the men's legs were sticking out and the00:00:22
secretaries were00:00:26
embarrassed and left,00:00:29
then the oligarch's mother-in-law came because the guy00:00:32
was open around the pipes and started screaming in a00:00:36
voice that was not her own.00:00:37
The oligarch's children came running and realized00:00:41
that grandma had gone crazy, they00:00:43
said we weren't going to school today and00:00:46
ran away to swim in the river, they had their00:00:50
own river flowing in their yard, the mother-in-law got tired of00:00:54
screaming, she went to take00:00:57
something for her nerves, she took 300 grams of00:01:00
vodka,00:01:02
she thinks she's bored, she called the police, her00:01:09
husband woke up began to collect bottles in the house00:01:11
pig lump from a bowl00:01:15
oligarch woke up the house is shaking the police are banging on the00:01:19
door00:01:20
went to open it walks with the police to the kitchen00:01:24
there mother-in-law I am the wife secretary a homeless person all00:01:28
drunk in the smoke00:01:31
asking them they called about the account robbery they00:01:34
called who is the horse in the coat00:01:40
the police realized that there was no money they'll let him00:01:44
go to his place,00:01:46
the oligarch sat down to have breakfast so that his appetite will00:01:49
come, he drank 100 grams of no appetite00:01:52
[music]00:01:53
he had another 100 grams of appetite, but the00:01:57
little skinny one barely had a soul in his body,00:02:01
drank another 400 and00:02:03
forgot that the Japanese were supposed to come to him to00:02:06
conclude a contract for a billion here00:02:09
the Japanese arrived, one old, the other00:02:13
young,00:02:14
both Japanese00:02:18
went into the drunken kitchen, where the young00:02:22
Japanese was dumbfounded, the old Japanese said that’s how00:02:25
Russians say, if it’s a00:02:28
big deal, then you need to drink heavily and00:02:31
have wild girls, and00:02:36
then the mother-in-law drank some more and began to understand00:02:41
in Japanese,00:02:44
she says who’s wild, I’m wild00:02:48
you yourself are a son of a [ __ ] and the00:02:50
belt began to bow to hush up the00:02:53
scandal the oligarch Tora began to bow and00:02:56
only the Japanese know how to dodge well and the oligarch00:02:59
met once his forehead hit the floor00:03:03
turned around almost became a wolf00:03:06
but didn’t only on the TV series00:03:09
Vuitton’s wife gray sits called an ambulance00:03:13
help arrived washed all the stomach of the00:03:17
Japanese, all the same, the eyes were00:03:21
taken away during packaging and the00:03:25
Japanese nerves could not stand it;00:03:28
they began to demand that the island be returned to them,00:03:32
but ours would say in Sklifosovsky they00:03:36
in Kashchenko00:03:42
almost came to war there, you see,00:03:46
other countries got involved, they got00:03:48
involved and that’s it because we support00:03:51
with a safe, we like to rummage, it’s good that we also have00:03:54
oligarchs who are big homeless people,00:04:00
I’m at the police school and I’m studying to be an00:04:03
investigator, soon I’ll be solving all crimes, the00:04:05
major said our school for00:04:09
solving crimes is the best in the world, and00:04:11
now in our school, in general,00:04:13
all the teachers have picked up such guys00:04:18
the major grabs his head yesterday for class he pulls out a painting by00:04:21
Leonardo da Vinci there was such an00:04:23
Italian artist the painting is called the Mona Lisa00:04:27
the original00:04:28
there is a woman smiling but somehow strange for00:04:32
500 years they couldn’t figure out what she was00:04:35
smiling at the00:04:36
major is on fire for 45 minutes then the00:04:40
non-policeman won’t figure it out00:04:45
eight people solved us all, eight clues00:04:47
turned out well, the first option is the00:04:49
simplest, it’s even strange that for so many years00:04:51
they couldn’t guess Leonardo da Vinci00:04:54
forbade her to smile and he himself began00:04:56
to make faces,00:04:58
appearing at him, of course00:05:01
the smile turned out to be abnormal, the00:05:04
second option, it’s spring on the street, as you can see from the00:05:07
picture there is Mona Lisa overwintered,00:05:11
survived the00:05:14
hotel in, young nettles will go from00:05:16
her garden, some help for everyone, and the00:05:19
watch has little new strength left, you won’t understand00:05:22
whether the dress is smiling, the00:05:24
third option, everyone kept the money in00:05:27
banks and then the default00:05:30
Mona Lisa kept it in stockings and00:05:33
sits smiling, the00:05:35
fourth option Mona Lisa's husband is00:05:38
about to come back with work, maybe he even00:05:40
came, he's standing behind Leonardo da00:05:43
Vinci, he's thinking about why she's smiling in a strange way, it's00:05:45
very simple, she found00:05:48
his stash, all the coins she hid, he's00:05:52
looking at us, he's already smiling, he's00:05:55
looking at her too smiles, but why is he00:05:58
smiling at all, no one will ever00:06:00
figure out the00:06:02
fifth option, Mona Lisa was invited to a00:06:05
ball where everyone will dance a lot, but00:06:09
Mona Lisa can’t dance a lot on this day, it’s00:06:11
not a dance day for her, and then the00:06:16
monolith figured out what to00:06:20
use to be00:06:22
free and her own all evening movements, she smiled mysteriously, the00:06:27
sixth option, the husband's analysis increased00:06:30
the salary 10 times so that he would stop taking00:06:33
bribes,00:06:34
they increased it, well, Mona Lisa lives better than00:06:37
others and led more children study00:06:40
abroad, everyone asks for years here you have your00:06:42
husband’s money, now he won’t take00:06:45
his word, they only told anyone once they got it she does00:06:47
n’t take it anymore, she doesn’t take it once, she just00:06:49
smiled and Leonardo da Vinci had00:06:52
a fluff jacket and my version of Mona Lisa00:06:55
looks like she knows something that00:06:58
others don’t know, as if she’s not with us but00:07:01
got a buzz somewhere,00:07:05
flew off to where you’re goofing around and00:07:08
shooting up she is definitely the00:07:12
8th option, her husband doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t00:07:15
beat her children, study for A’s and00:07:17
B’s, the neighbor is not the bastard of the neighbor,00:07:20
pestering three-room apartments, which is00:07:23
simply not something we’ve never seen before, we’ve never seen such women with00:07:26
everything in order, so it00:07:28
seems to us that she has such a smile - it’s00:07:29
strange, we’re all strange and her00:07:32
smile is normal 100:07:35
[applause]00:07:41
signs it’s not in vain that someone is00:07:43
honking at us from the other world, we don’t understand00:07:47
anything like that with the ears of machines, in short, he told his00:07:51
wife Ash in the evening I’ll00:07:54
come back late at work and he took a day off from in the morning to00:07:58
visit a good friend and Friday the00:08:03
13th,00:08:05
I didn’t pay attention, I don’t know,00:08:09
fatal mistake, she lives outside the city,00:08:14
13 kilometers from the city,00:08:17
too, the sign was for me to stay at home,00:08:20
no, I went on my way from the00:08:24
railway station, private houses have already00:08:26
begun, and there seems to be a vacant lot there a small one00:08:29
jumps out of nowhere a huge00:08:32
black dog is angry and like hell and to me I feel good from her00:08:36
along the way the tree grew like a squirrel00:08:42
yes no faster than00:08:46
six seconds I’m already at the very top of my head a00:08:50
weakling calls her foaming at the mouth she’s gone00:08:54
crazy why is she seeing her for the first time00:08:58
maybe when you're lying to your wife, something is released00:09:01
in the00:09:03
dog's body, the acid of the dog and they sense00:09:07
maybe the conscience begins to lure and00:09:11
they smell and the branch under me is cracked,00:09:16
I look down to the ground 13 meters,00:09:23
the branch is cracked again and immediately the thought00:09:27
should not have gone, no need, she's not that00:09:31
beautiful00:09:33
to because of her flying head down the00:09:36
[ __ ] once again cracked my wife, my wife is much00:09:40
more beautiful than00:09:42
this infection00:09:45
[ __ ] once again several crosses with a bang00:09:48
only 13 times and00:09:51
I flew and was00:09:53
beaten and the branches of the Sarapul were00:09:56
bleeding but I got to my feet you were transferred here00:09:59
she is nose to the00:10:02
foam on the nose is over,00:10:04
I think then I’ll go to a friend,00:10:08
only the five signal twitched to me again to00:10:11
no avail, the main signal is so00:10:14
clear, as if specially for the00:10:16
weak-minded,00:10:17
the dog just twitched, says you, where is the00:10:25
chill on my skin and dogs don’t know how to00:10:29
talk, it seems like00:10:30
you don’t know how, but maybe you can maybe it’s00:10:34
just that everyone who flew 13 meters head down00:10:37
always crap imagines00:10:40
methane clearly asked you where the son of a [ __ ],00:10:45
just in case, they said something you00:10:49
were doing00:10:51
silent creatures otherwise it seemed like it, thank00:10:54
God, he00:10:55
began to walk around her, she soon tenored from with a00:11:00
bag, so I’m also a girl-walker,00:11:04
don Juan Moscow00:11:07
then suddenly a bass00:11:09
idiot train at 1120 you won’t have time to see00:11:14
me on yourself00:11:15
I think how can a dog know the00:11:18
train schedule if she’s not a spy00:11:21
cooler in the city I arrived a little earlier than00:11:25
the train I00:11:28
approach me I look from the sky the light is coming00:11:31
clear clear but about my home I realized00:11:36
there is no evil spirit no, all this is00:11:38
superstition, heresy, nothing, the number 13 doesn’t mean00:11:43
I enter the apartment, my wife flies towards me, oh, I00:11:46
wasn’t waiting, but we have a guest, my classmate00:11:49
at the institute, we haven’t00:11:52
seen each other in00:11:56
the morning for 13 years, you didn’t bump into anyone at the00:11:59
threshold, he’s right there stones,00:12:01
I walk into the room, he’s sitting, hefty00:12:04
some guy all skewed j my00:12:08
cognac00:12:09
I think that’s what she looks like00:12:12
Friday the 13th00:12:15
didn’t show any sign just asked that it’s you00:12:18
without trousers00:12:22
she holds it out in her trousers it’s on fire00:12:25
he slipped in the elevator she00:12:27
darned it that’s how she could have done00:12:29
such a good job you can’t see what happened at all00:12:33
somewhere it’s torn all of00:12:35
a sudden you were going to have a00:12:38
meeting at work and I need to run away00:12:40
from here anyway,00:12:42
be careful I’m saying otherwise we have00:12:45
such buses here number 1300:12:49
number 66600:12:52
he I know I know not for the first time00:12:58
I mean nothing I not superstitious and ran away00:13:02
his wife rinsed, he was burning such a good00:13:05
man and you offended with your00:13:07
suspicion00:13:08
he began to cling why without pants but without00:13:11
pants, Lord, the man came to visit00:13:15
her, didn’t say a word, so tired of this heresy from00:13:19
all these superstitions went to attract00:13:21
instantly fell asleep instantly not a single00:13:24
thought flashed one of them sang to00:13:27
pass by some classmates, she has00:13:29
n’t studied00:13:36
law anywhere, this story is called,00:13:38
really, robbery in Russian,00:13:41
I don’t know how you come here, Sberbank,00:13:45
you look out the window, the church is visible right away in your00:13:49
heart, easy, joyful, even if you came to00:13:53
pay a fine, but yesterday I stayed in the Sberbank,00:13:56
looking at the church The winnings came to the golden domes00:13:59
to get a00:14:02
holiday in my soul and then from behind a00:14:05
pure angelic voice is burning straight up, robbing the00:14:13
woman next to me with her hands up, how she will be stabbed to death, how00:14:16
her poor woman will be interested from top to bottom,00:14:18
she left right in front of her face and did00:14:22
n’t even recognize the spears, but says how they00:14:25
work, will you come, or is it only00:14:27
small money or robbery, and she00:14:31
waved her hands in her hearts, and at the Sberbank outside the window there are00:14:34
bushes growing there, there are always clouds of sparrows,00:14:38
or something to feed them at night,00:14:41
the woman inside brushed them away with her hands, all the00:14:45
sparrows outside flew up, sparrows00:14:48
all outside and inside us only00:14:51
pensioners,00:14:52
no one will order them, will you, I do00:14:57
n’t know how you have pensioners00:15:00
against robbery, some00:15:03
big pension, but you paid for the apartment and there is no00:15:07
pension, then Helen didn’t pay and there is no00:15:11
apartment, but there is nothing to be robbed and00:15:15
such a thing turned out to be in our area,00:15:18
just when you retire, you immediately00:15:21
want to eat for00:15:23
no reason, apparently it’s something to00:15:27
do with nerves or the climate in our area00:15:29
turned out to be like this, let’s see what00:15:33
exactly is happening, I don’t know how your00:15:36
banks are being robbed, we have three guys standing there without00:15:39
masks, without pistols nice guys00:15:42
students look like they're studying to be doctors and00:15:46
powerful 400:15:48
you'll stay standing with your hands up keeping quiet you00:15:51
won't understand what's not your specialty00:15:54
dito1 barely a soul in his body his legs00:15:58
are giving way he looks like he'll collapse00:16:01
along with00:16:03
Krestov's torso the guys are doing your mother shame on00:16:07
them he's not afraid of anything our money yet didn’t00:16:11
have time to take it off,00:16:12
whoever asks also the rats of the students started00:16:16
swearing, they then say this is a robbery00:16:19
for a charitable purpose,00:16:21
part of the money will go to help poor00:16:24
old people00:16:26
[music]00:16:28
no, then he started dictating his address to him,00:16:33
everyone started dictating their address, they almost interfered with00:16:37
each other, they almost foiled the robbery,00:16:40
good cashiers they helped out at first, then they00:16:43
died00:16:44
and everyone tried to find the show finger button and00:16:47
call and they gave the money reluctantly, one might00:16:51
say, through force, and when they found out that the00:16:54
robbery was for a charitable purpose,00:16:56
they turned pink again and smiled in general, the00:17:00
situation factors charged up, people began to get00:17:02
to know each other, women became00:17:06
recipes, some Germans00:17:08
looked at window church in place sparrows00:17:11
in place the rain has started the clouds have floated00:17:15
somewhere on the eternal page everything goes on as00:17:18
usual00:17:19
pensioners help the robber with advice00:17:22
you guys take large bills00:17:25
and you won’t take much00:17:30
and if there is a lot it’s not far and then the police00:17:33
will catch up with you students not00:17:36
us no one will ever will overtake00:17:40
the youth,00:17:41
I think that life is the only one that00:17:43
smiles at them, sometimes it smiles at the police too,00:17:46
so they enter, three in uniform,00:17:50
where did they come from in charge, the captain looks00:17:54
at us and we all look the same,00:17:57
asks who the robber is, this is00:18:01
right away, of course, silence, students, let’s00:18:05
discreetly return the money to the00:18:07
policeman’s bank they wanted to help them, they had already00:18:10
returned all the money, then it turned out that not00:18:13
everything you mean in the institutes is accounted for, everything00:18:18
turned out that still how long are you on top of the00:18:23
grandfather who climbed with one foot into the next00:18:26
world is already on fire, the police, the guys robbed for00:18:29
charity, they wanted to00:18:32
give some of it to the elderly and some to help from00:18:35
the police,00:18:38
you looked at your watch there,00:18:41
they say, how did he manage to come00:18:44
so wounds are00:18:45
not complete, he noticeably hit something, I don’t00:18:49
know exactly, it’s clear that he was just00:18:51
very upset, but the man has courageous eyes,00:18:55
of course, the melancholy is terrible, and not a single00:18:57
muscle on him flinched, he just00:18:59
waved his hands Every last one of the ants flew up,00:19:02
and the ones that just00:19:04
hatched yesterday also flew up. The00:19:07
ants in general turned out to be a bad day, not00:19:10
their day, don’t peck, you can’t really00:19:13
sit calmly in one place, the police00:19:16
were upset with their opportunity, the grandfather00:19:19
led them to the corner, as if now he would00:19:21
say some secret. corner and00:19:24
stands in silence, they wait, the students,00:19:27
meanwhile, ran away to arrest my grandfather00:19:30
as an accomplice, but the people stood up,00:19:33
especially when they asked him your last name,00:19:36
he said Susanin,00:19:41
then everyone ran off to their own affairs, the00:19:43
clouds completely floated away somewhere, the sun00:19:46
came out, I don’t know how it is with you after the00:19:49
robberies there is a rainbow00:19:52
all the sparrows of course you won’t envy but the00:19:55
robbery turned out00:19:58
wow because the church was00:20:00
nearby bad fifa churches we are not00:20:03
always near banks bad that00:20:07
we have more banks than churches00:20:11
[applause]00:20:16
nerves are such a subtle thing00:20:19
tell a person a compliment and he it will bloom,00:20:22
tell the truth or some other00:20:25
nasty thing and it will die. We have one guy who was00:20:30
completely hounded, he is quiet and modest,00:20:33
and they always make fun of him, they00:20:35
will say they saw tea naked on a00:20:39
neighbor’s balcony this winter, then in the summer he00:20:43
was afraid to approach him in a coat the girl00:20:45
was alone, he really liked him, he never00:20:48
approached her, she’s really ugly, he wasn’t the only00:20:51
one who was afraid to approach, they’ll00:20:54
say, well, yes, yesterday in the restaurant, like a00:20:57
mirror the bell, remember no, we then00:21:00
calmed down, remembered that we00:21:03
weren’t in the restaurant, we were still very worried every time00:21:05
to withdraw into oneself00:21:08
went out, well, what if people treat you00:21:11
mockingly, they thought that he was no longer a tenant,00:21:14
and now he saved the case, he stopped paying attention to himself more00:21:18
than once forgot00:21:20
to button his fly, the00:21:21
edge of his shirt sticks out there, he walks away, he does00:21:25
n’t notice anything, and he can see what it’s00:21:28
all about smiles made that everyone00:21:31
guessed what a good person he is, that00:21:34
he loves everyone and now everyone loves him,00:21:36
this was formed in his soul so as not to00:21:39
lie, fireworks music in the soul is just a00:21:43
waltz, the world is seen differently, there is a boy00:21:47
helping an old woman cross the road to a00:21:49
red light,00:21:52
he turned it over and demands money five more boys00:21:56
from where they came from swear at the old lady and00:22:00
passers-by pull them down in themselves worse children00:22:03
drunk can be hit in the forehead and brought00:22:07
on the rise flies up to one of them on the back of the head to the00:22:09
other a slap on the head00:22:11
he scattered everyone the old lady at the same time almost00:22:14
killed him but it turned out in short the people00:22:17
arranged for Matt not to gather strength to play with00:22:20
him 10 release next to the asphalt skating rink00:22:24
or standing he shoved him in joy and behind the00:22:27
cat there was a brand new Mercedes with softly from the00:22:32
Mercedes three you downloaded to run the police00:22:35
the police detained them where are you fools we00:22:38
saw you are not guilty but how not guilty00:22:41
7 years on the wanted list the00:22:43
guys are not leaving the spot a medal on the chest,00:22:45
well, it doesn’t matter, in short, he’ll find himself longer, the fly00:22:48
sparkles with a medal, in general, you’re already00:22:51
a hero, you recognized one official, how the00:22:54
bribe taker shouts, the duck briefcase, how to00:22:58
say so as not to collect the briefcase, the money00:22:59
flew out of his hands from the briefcase like a fan,00:23:02
and six more people were scared, he didn’t00:23:05
even know them either they dropped the briefcase all over the00:23:09
street the police rushed to pick up the money00:23:12
as evidence tact they I need these00:23:16
seven under white hands they immediately gave00:23:19
each another seven people all already 49 of them00:23:22
seven 56 crooks the guy with the order00:23:27
and the guy with the order the media give me with his00:23:30
fly wide open00:23:31
no longer goes flies through the air and his00:23:35
wings grew and there are kebab shops along the way,00:23:38
such a flycatcher comes out of there, suddenly00:23:41
Anfisa Chekhov,00:23:43
someone else saw a guy, they started a fight because00:23:46
of him, he walks past them, his00:23:50
guards, or else he also00:23:53
put on a skirt backwards, it’s actually I forgot00:23:56
to put it on, too, on the way up, she smiles and could have00:24:00
half a sardine with a medal and right away, because00:24:03
ours, everything else is with him,00:24:05
where to stand it was explained, in short, she00:24:09
now has two children, a boy and a girl,00:24:11
twins, the boy is one year old and the00:24:15
girls, so as not to climb at all, the weather,00:24:19
but it doesn’t matter and the main thing is what I’m talking about let's00:24:22
smile at each other more often00:24:27
[applause]00:24:30
Sunday my mother-in-law arrived with my father-in-law, we're sitting00:24:34
after dinner, but like all of us life,00:24:37
let's look at the00:24:38
queues, coupons and poverty, this00:24:41
crime, theft from the government, in00:24:45
general, there's only prostitution,00:24:48
even with my own people, it's not a mess, or are00:24:51
we whispering in the corners, is it just window dressing? we are busy,00:24:54
but we need to shout the truth at the top of our lungs, then there00:24:57
will be a sense and the bell suddenly rings on the doorstep, I answer it on the00:25:01
threshold of a black man in a suit and behind him there are00:25:05
61 people with a movie camera, don’t talk about00:25:08
here at Obama bought a house for milex, Shahir,00:25:13
I’m in the wound, Shahir,00:25:17
what’s the matter,00:25:20
the translator got out this is the king, we are like00:25:24
this, the second one00:25:27
says the sun to your house, good luck, a00:25:31
million to millions,00:25:32
I'm telling him, too, the sun, more00:25:37
bananas,00:25:40
what's the matter,00:25:44
the translator, the king decided to visit a simple00:25:46
Russian family, but the unprepared receptionist was00:25:49
taken especially by surprise and the gift is00:25:52
handed over by the atma to such a box of some kind but00:25:55
I’m not out of self-interest, of course there is00:25:57
hospitality, currency, yes, you’re00:26:00
always welcome to come in. The bodyguards immediately have a cord in00:26:03
all corners and are you still stunned, of course he00:26:06
bows, we’re sitting, he’s sitting looking around at00:26:09
you, the king then says,00:26:12
you live in poverty, well, what were we talking about before, it’s00:26:16
time for me to make a statement to do it, but it was such a00:26:19
shame for the country, they brought deforestation to disgrace,00:26:22
which is rather poor normal for00:26:25
one,00:26:27
and these people who are00:26:31
diary, this is about the mother-in-law, the maid,00:26:36
this is the driver, my protest and the00:26:41
wife was offended for the parents, she pouted00:26:43
a little, they are just happy for their homeland, and00:26:46
this is what I’m saying about her,00:26:48
the masseuse with her the children00:26:52
looked for a minute,00:26:54
the king didn’t expect it, jumped up and the00:26:57
bodyguards again darted around in all00:26:59
corners in all the rooms oh and if00:27:01
he asks in one, aren’t you afraid to00:27:03
leave the apartment? Are you stealing?00:27:11
Russia, you never00:27:13
close the doors, and00:27:15
day and night they came wide open to fight,00:27:18
theft is not accepted here, the king’s00:27:22
eyes are bugged out, but ours is on fire in Africa,00:27:25
he steals in black and white,00:27:30
my everyone is surprised, too, their eyes roll out,00:27:33
I rolled out how many modules, how can00:27:38
someone steal like that? -it’s a tradition we have to go out into the street and00:27:41
put 100 rubles, go where you need to go00:27:45
back, they’re lying in place in an00:27:49
upset case, ours is on fire, so they steal,00:27:53
they can take off a person’s trousers as they walk,00:27:56
I’m Bruce, I’m sorry, this is some kind of savagery00:27:59
here if the party goes down00:28:02
no one will ever take you for a00:28:07
walk after a holiday, we00:28:10
know how to00:28:11
go out into the street, there are only ports all around, it’s00:28:19
already white,00:28:22
but he asks with hope, but he’s00:28:25
stealing from the state with all his might,00:28:27
I’ll give it to him to take it from the state, it’s better to hang himself right away,00:28:32
respect it won’t be, they won’t shake hands00:28:35
at all they can kill by jumping up again00:28:38
in a run, but should they immediately store the shnyr shnyr00:28:40
in all corners oh, I was00:28:42
upset until the last moment, I got ready to00:28:44
thank you, he says about a minute, they salute, I’m lying00:28:49
to you, too, omega that salam,00:28:51
they came in if the caskets date salam, and don’t00:28:54
be so upset about the theft that00:28:57
comparing us there is a high country00:28:59
culture, over time, everything will work out for you; the00:29:01
theft will be no worse than ours and00:29:05
they left while my impression we00:29:09
shared slept with passed then they00:29:11
looked in the next room, half of the things were missing and00:29:15
in the box at the bottom the inscription turned out to be00:29:18
in Russian I am a mutant 2 from and 100:29:25
[ applause]00:29:29
everyone always compares everything to the West and that they won’t00:29:33
take it in the West, it’s better there’s00:29:36
no pride left at all, you00:29:39
compare people first of all, and at least take00:29:42
who is a beggar in the West and who is00:29:45
our beggar, the most educated in the world, we have00:29:51
fewer scientists in our government now than on the porch and00:29:54
some who are on the porch are stronger than00:29:57
those in the government who00:29:59
would change their places, neither the00:30:02
FSB colonel said 2x porches00:30:06
were nominated for the Nobel Prize and seemed to be00:30:09
given, but they had nothing to go in when they got it00:30:12
and the00:30:13
women from the porch they don’t talk00:30:16
until 1 Nobel laureates only with00:30:19
God live in the fourth dimension we00:30:23
come back to wash ourselves to eat everything will be given00:30:26
according to our specialty take them beggars are the00:30:29
scum of society we have the cream of the crop00:30:33
writers have murders every day and are not00:30:36
about sex there are such writers beggars00:30:40
of course who write about sex in a coffin00:30:45
on nettle branches those live well, it00:30:49
would be good to change their places according to their social00:30:52
status, who among our beggars don’t guess00:30:55
you’ll overstrain yourself in Irkutsk,00:30:58
they bring three homeless people to the chief of police, he highly00:31:01
appreciate the surname, first name, patronymic,00:31:03
these are burning Boris Godunov, Ivan the Terrible, Vladimir the Terrible, the00:31:08
red sun, a00:31:10
coincidence of course, but everything is exactly00:31:14
according to national characteristics, fussing everything the00:31:16
people are represented by all the Russians, the00:31:19
majority of course the Ukrainians, there are00:31:22
the Belarusian Tatars, write out and a few00:31:24
Khanty Khanty, very few of them, they just00:31:29
say a line and there are very ancient00:31:32
people, we have a handful of them left to take care of, I00:31:36
don’t know how more than the lives of the Jews,00:31:38
too, these are very ancient people,00:31:42
also theirs who remained We don’t00:31:44
say much, we don’t look, I don’t believe it, but00:31:47
they say there are beggars, even among the Papuans, and there are00:31:51
only two of us, we have one beggar, many people00:31:55
think the beggars are melancholic, they are too lazy to00:31:58
stick a shovel in the ground so that the oil00:32:00
flows like a fountain, there are no choleric people, darkness and not00:32:04
24 hours a day continuous movement in the00:32:07
morning to social security to find out why inflation is00:32:09
growing faster pensions you promise but will00:32:13
lag behind that the plan number will freeze00:32:15
all the time after social security collect00:32:18
bottles00:32:19
then social security can appear from lard even00:32:22
half the building then a rally in support of00:32:25
the government then the shovel shovel the earth may00:32:27
not be turned on no then hand over the bottles then00:32:30
social security then the rally then collect00:32:32
the bottles from and who is the beggar now where and the00:32:35
beggar where everywhere their paths go to any00:32:40
jewelry store at any bank at any you enter00:32:44
he is the first one to meet me on his forehead it is00:32:46
written security that he is there00:32:49
serving the rich clings to his00:32:52
place like a tick you won’t smoke out00:32:54
the State Duma for anything, come in if they let you in what are they00:32:58
doing there serving the rich you won’t reprimand00:33:01
anyone didn’t come in the only thing of course you’ll go to00:33:04
the Kremlin the Tsar Bell is00:33:07
the Tsar Cannon there is a Tsar the beggar is not00:33:12
like I’m in the game at all nothing 1 verse00:33:15
matri it’s a pity she doesn’t hold the Olympic Games00:33:18
among the poor on all five tables00:33:21
our people would stand, don’t touch the sauerkraut with00:33:24
glowing balls the police00:33:27
appeared no one a second didn’t pass00:33:30
who jumped three meters without a pole00:33:34
the other while I was already jumping on the other00:33:37
side the street is standing again selling another00:33:41
detail everything is relatively everything a millionaire00:33:45
compared to a billionaire beggar even there are00:33:48
beggar billionaires well if he only has00:33:51
two billion days officially in00:33:54
fact let it be 10 20 billion that he is00:33:58
in the middle of a news topic by 20-30 officially00:34:00
blood I can afford this what a00:34:03
whim in a Mercedes through two solid00:34:06
lanes like a slalom from left to right then from00:34:09
right to left00:34:10
opposite the Ministry of Internal Affairs at a00:34:13
red light, not allowing itself to be overtaken by an00:34:16
ambulance, it’s unlikely to risk it, too, they can00:34:20
attract, they can attract, they may not00:34:23
attract, but they can attract the fact that00:34:26
we are all equal all the beggars turned out00:34:30
historically, now you can’t figure out00:34:32
why we are all equal, someone00:34:34
wrote it down in the constitution, then they realized it,00:34:36
and everyone is already Gleb law, everyone is equal, in general, the kind of beggars00:34:40
we have,00:34:43
you won’t find anywhere else in the daytime with fire, also, you don’t have to00:34:46
bow down in everything before the West we00:34:49
still have something to be proud of00:34:51
[applause]00:34:56
I personally can’t say anything bad about our medicine,00:35:00
now rumors have begun to spread00:35:04
that in Russia we are preparing someone in the00:35:06
upper half of the body, someone in the lower half,00:35:10
it’s the whole body of the disk and no one00:35:13
answers00:35:14
him wanted the upper half The00:35:18
main organs of the population in our country are still dark and00:35:21
more afraid for their own organs and are00:35:25
ready to give crazy money for them, and00:35:27
here medicine I don’t know, maybe00:35:32
somewhere some healthy00:35:34
guy was healed half to death,00:35:37
something was cut off for him not completely00:35:40
or completely the end, but not that,00:35:42
in general, I think we’re all fine,00:35:46
just to get well you00:35:48
still need a strong faith in medicine,00:35:52
the letter uses the example of my neighbor Ivan Nikolai00:35:56
Sidorov, he has suffered from allergies since childhood,00:35:58
I had a00:36:00
terrible allergy to money, how to see00:36:05
money he begins to choke,00:36:06
he also had a severe curvature He00:36:09
squinted his legs and was not weak with a squint, so that his00:36:13
wife was jealous of everyone he met,00:36:16
whatever they didn’t give him and it didn’t00:36:19
help, they00:36:20
began to calm him down, but now he does00:36:23
n’t have to take tests, it’s no longer useless, and00:36:28
because of this sympathy, he stopped00:36:30
pronouncing letters, not only vowels00:36:34
and consonants you fry well and your00:36:38
illness is too much for me and she can’t00:36:41
stand it and she gets him powder no00:36:44
niche to finish it all at once and so that00:36:47
the vowel reprimands his00:36:50
wife and she needs to talk to him somehow that’s00:36:53
all she can’t00:36:56
understand her husband, she’s burning it a medicine00:37:00
with medicines that this is an ancient Tibetan00:37:02
remedy for his previous illnesses and00:37:06
faith in this medicine awakened in him,00:37:10
allergies,00:37:11
strabismus, bowleggedness, all diseases are00:37:14
the only thing that is bad, he and the consonants00:37:17
stopped pronouncing00:37:19
later he thought that this was his previous00:37:22
illnesses, that’s what faith is, I knew00:37:25
one person who at the pharmacy he grabbed the00:37:27
wrong medicine for a month, diuretic beer00:37:31
instead of sleeping pills00:37:34
slept for days and the00:37:37
other one ran every minute to sleep he00:37:41
was never00:37:44
aware of a case when the pharmacy itself was mistaken00:37:47
and one of the newlyweds got a00:37:54
potent sedative and now the food is for the widower of the00:37:57
names of that one of them and what is the confusion and00:38:00
it came out who got the doping, also00:38:04
potent, and here’s the wedding, how would it00:38:08
all end,00:38:09
don’t trust the grandfather with the grandson, our medicine00:38:12
is not known, and so the grandfather slept through the entire wedding, and the00:38:15
newlyweds a year later, and triplets were born, that’s00:38:18
what faith is00:38:20
in this case, the woman had 1thek, she00:38:24
winked every minute and the young00:38:27
woman is beautiful and her00:38:30
head is like a substitute, she twitched a little00:38:35
in the evening on the street, it’s better not to go out into00:38:38
fights,00:38:40
she got to the point of fights until she got to the store with tape00:38:45
and even in the store00:38:49
and God forbid she could pass by the vodka wine, she00:38:53
couldn’t get married than she was saved by faith, a00:38:59
man was one he was the other he suffered from illness,00:39:02
he didn’t react to women’s winks,00:39:05
that is, she would be happy, but something in his00:39:09
central brain didn’t work, or maybe not in the brain, I don’t00:39:13
know, in general, all the women00:39:15
turned away from him and now they meet in00:39:17
Kislovodsk, he died again source, she00:39:20
dropped half a glass after all, the man is already00:39:23
reacting calmly to her, he also took00:39:26
the glass, what is it 1 is already winking at the00:39:30
swag, Ilyusha Narzan helped and Narzan had00:39:33
nothing to do with it, a month later they00:39:35
got married, but the man, apparently in joy,00:39:39
spilled the beans to someone about his ailments00:39:42
because from this source there was then such a crowd00:39:45
from men gathered and00:39:47
many were in such a hurry to jump00:39:50
the line that they had to call military00:39:53
units00:39:54
who, when they found out what was going on with00:39:58
civilians in general, the actor years of the source00:40:02
ended well, Narzan ended well, that's00:40:03
what faith is if you convince yourself that00:40:08
you can stand naked in the bathhouse in the cold, you00:40:11
will still sweat and beg passers-by so as00:40:15
not to give in the heat00:40:17
rather than to believe properly you analgin00:40:21
will save you from stuttering purgen from baldness00:40:24
and mustard plasters leave go00:40:27
[music]00:40:32
birthday soon the anniversary of 60 years old00:40:36
I want to give her a good gift a00:40:40
fur coat on gasped so that everyone around gasps00:40:44
I don’t know what to buy00:40:47
money I don’t mind00:40:50
a diamond wanted to give00:40:52
us age already why should she have a diamond00:40:57
who are you luring he wanted lured00:41:01
already00:41:03
a frying pan wanted to00:41:05
fry without oil in just water00:41:08
all such good things I spent money on the last00:41:13
anniversary I didn’t regret Odessa00:41:16
timidity why00:41:18
can I give her a beautiful suit this thing00:41:22
if I go somewhere and so it hangs all the time00:41:25
the heart pleases to00:41:28
hunt with a surprise they so that it is a00:41:32
surprise to drag it to the store with00:41:35
the size you can’t guess the00:41:37
tact by touch I know its dimensions but00:41:42
to buy a suit I don’t know the cube and it wo00:41:46
n’t fit on her or will dangle00:41:49
as we were taught00:41:51
most likely00:41:54
something old won’t fit anymore nothing will fit00:41:59
flowers buy a rose red 60 pieces00:42:04
how much are they well no matter the money don’t mind00:42:08
the beauty what you get in a week00:42:12
throw it all away00:42:13
too it’s not a matter of coats for autumn that’s a good00:42:18
thing she bought for herself00:42:21
well done in winter you can put on a sweater in the00:42:25
spring on a naked body and00:42:29
nothing resin will not be00:42:32
bad for him when there is a lot of money00:42:35
and there is no money to buy anything, and that00:42:40
tormentor00:42:42
asked her forehead, tell him, for the sake of Pavlush, you00:42:45
want it, leave me alone, it’s better to buy me a new00:42:49
electric razor, otherwise it’s a shame to walk00:42:51
next to you, but he was joking, I think he was joking00:42:57
but the problems before with the gift of hemorrhoids in their00:43:01
pure form almost bought the word00:43:04
well, science got in the way, it’s burning and the00:43:08
climate is warming, the00:43:13
policy school is changing places,00:43:17
maybe in 100 years we will have the heat like00:43:19
in Africa, and00:43:22
where then will the fur coats go to00:43:26
the people of us, the world00:43:30
can have an electric meat grinder, but for00:43:33
sure God gave me the idea of a meat grinder in a swinish manner00:43:37
that she manually00:43:40
turns and turns the00:43:42
water, it’s difficult even at her age, in general, it’s00:43:46
already harmful for us in00:43:50
the kitchen of the stock, you’ll harm me,00:43:54
I’m not her enemy, but her husband,00:43:58
which hemorrhoids are a hundred times worse, that00:44:02
hemorrhoids are theirs at once, and I’m also already at00:44:05
age,00:44:06
you think you think what to buy the head is00:44:09
swollen polti buy for Nordic00:44:12
walking and it’s ok doctors advice we00:44:16
already have half the house with sticks walking with a limp00:44:19
you can buy expensive shelves you don’t mind the money00:44:23
but you want to take it off they were jealous and then00:44:26
another one came out with sticks so it’s00:44:30
not with crutches but00:44:35
underwear buy something expensive00:44:39
so that it’s all silk and with lace so you do00:44:42
n’t want to take it off, don’t00:44:45
take it off, don’t take it off from bathhouse to bathhouse,00:44:52
it smells like it00:44:55
can only seem to anyone, I’m the only one who00:44:58
will end up making a gift for myself,00:45:03
then it’s better than an electric razor and to give it as a gift,00:45:09
even though she herself said that it would be nice to have00:45:12
electric razors for00:45:14
hemorrhoids the better the gift got sick and00:45:18
passed like this00:45:20
and there is money but00:45:23
you can’t do anything, that’s what it’s like00:45:25
with money now many people do it like00:45:29
that, give money all the problems,00:45:31
buy yourself what you want, it dawned on me00:45:34
suddenly the Lord was frying over me00:45:38
how much to give00:45:44
1010 100 to 100 thousand people will ask what do00:45:50
you want my husband gave her a cafe for her anniversary and that00:45:53
every time she shows everyone 100,00000:45:58
will be killed and you won’t notice who00:46:02
else will say the husband deliberately set it up to get out of00:46:07
harm’s way really give her as00:46:10
she really asked for an electric razor00:46:15
I oh no and everyone around me00:46:20
[applause]00:46:25
legends a00:46:27
vip00:46:28
person alone laughed at love, didn’t00:46:32
believe that it existed on earth,00:46:34
laughed loudly and impudently, not yet an old00:46:38
man of about twenty,00:46:44
he had a girlfriend, he loved her very much, but he00:46:47
would forget to hug or kiss00:46:51
something else, he would forget to say, for example, that00:46:54
she was the most beautiful in the world in this world, but he himself did00:46:57
not leave the mirror for hours, the00:46:59
girl left him, he had a dog, he would00:47:03
forget to feed it for00:47:06
a walk with her, and he ate five times a day00:47:09
and ran to the toilet when he wanted and when he didn’t00:47:13
want to, they left00:47:16
him in a year three girls avoided00:47:20
5 dogs,00:47:23
he spat after them every time and00:47:26
imperceptibly began to harden his heart,00:47:30
they told him that in his life he would meet a00:47:32
good dog and a wonderful girl,00:47:38
but he had already decided that there was no love in life, he00:47:44
got into a fight when they said that there00:47:47
was love, he became his own person in at the emergency room,00:47:54
everyone turned away from him, he turned away00:47:57
from everyone, he stopped loving even himself, he00:48:00
no longer stood for hours in front of the mirror, there were00:48:03
seven of them in the house, firstly, he began to look at00:48:06
nothing, he didn’t take care of himself, he didn’t00:48:09
cut his hair, didn’t shave, didn’t wash, and secondly, he00:48:12
began to look at the sky I was sitting behind all the mirrors, there were00:48:15
flies, there were a lot of flies00:48:19
because the apartment was dirty and messy, and00:48:21
now he lives in big dirt, not with anyone else.00:48:25
3 one day he wanted to polish the mirror to00:48:28
see, he was standing in front of the mirror and00:48:35
wanted to polish it, and he froze for a second, he00:48:39
imagined that the flies were sitting behind the mirror,00:48:42
not just anyhow, but in some ancient pattern, the00:48:47
second time he approached the mirror and froze00:48:49
for a minute, they sat behind it so that it looked like a00:48:53
painting, not that morning in a pine forest,00:48:57
no, but the ninth wave00:49:01
came up to you for the third time in the mirror and froze for an00:49:05
hour and the mirror looked at him and the00:49:08
Giaconda smiled mysteriously,00:49:11
who was out of his mind,00:49:14
and then he almost lost him completely,00:49:18
he trembled like an aspen leaf for the world, he, like an00:49:21
aspen stake, became paler than death and00:49:25
thought why the flies rose to such00:49:28
creative heights and a terrible guess00:49:31
pierced him because he doesn’t love me,00:49:36
they believe that he lives for their sake, for00:49:40
their sake, he spread such vile dirt and now00:49:43
returns love for love,00:49:45
he decided to test his terrible guess,00:49:49
he opened the front door, he doesn’t like it, the00:49:52
flies stayed in place, every single one of them was00:49:56
true, it was winter and00:50:00
so he waited for the beta and the dark, dark00:50:04
night opened the door wide, the torments00:50:07
remained, even many new ones flew in,00:50:11
along with the flies, terrible killers came in,00:50:14
unshaven and they were smoking and they00:50:18
attacked him, they00:50:20
wanted to attack and before they had time the flies attacked them,00:50:28
superstitious horror seized the robber people, after00:50:31
all, They were attacked not by predatory insects,00:50:34
mosquitoes, lice or fleas, but by peaceful flies, and not00:50:38
one thousand, but several thousand, killers, you are00:50:43
suing through the apartments behind them, a movie without a00:50:46
fly, they were chased by animals for a long time,00:50:48
people on the street, they fell behind only somewhere00:50:51
near a butcher shop, they00:50:56
did not fly back, they were not birds00:51:00
they couldn’t navigate by the stars a lot of flies00:51:03
gave their lives to this guy, he realized00:51:06
that love exists on earth and even it is00:51:09
stronger than death, the next day he00:51:12
brought a little dog to him, he fed her 5 times a00:51:15
day, 6 times a day, I walk her on the very first day,00:51:19
I forgot to go to the toilet a00:51:23
month later she brought him slippers00:51:27
turned on the TV00:51:29
found and brought small money into the house00:51:35
compass Trixie shaved the next day00:51:38
met a girl a month later he00:51:41
brought her coffee in bed in the morning she00:51:44
watched him smile like a gioconda00:51:48
this story is for you guys look00:51:51
how much is around beautiful girls, love00:51:54
them, don’t wait for flies to sit behind you,00:52:03
dear ladies and dear gentlemen, it’s terrible how we00:52:06
swear, sometimes we ourselves don’t00:52:09
notice it, that’s what’s especially scary, the00:52:11
main thing is that the demon swears for no reason,00:52:14
as if a person is walking, his pulse dropped suddenly,00:52:17
then at least it’s clear it’s00:52:18
some kind of Dobbins - something intelligent you will break out about him00:52:22
it is said that peonies can’t be forgiven, you can’t understand, but00:52:25
when you’re the first down, not00:52:28
everything can’t be done without a reason, or gentlemen, a woman is walking down the00:52:32
street, a young young fresh00:52:34
hat on her, also new, and then the wind00:52:37
splits the dough hat00:52:40
of course in that one nearby, at least there are three in it00:52:42
education is already feeling it will say, well, [ __ ], the00:52:45
wind is00:52:48
some person00:52:50
or gentlemen, the weather when the weather suddenly changes00:52:54
came out of the house the sun walked away three steps00:52:57
rain, rain and beon for you, you have nothing to00:52:59
cover yourself with,00:53:00
no umbrella, no books, no passport, and00:53:03
even worse, you have an umbrella, one solar access00:53:08
with an umbrella like a fool doom00:53:10
there was a case of many witnesses a deaf mute00:53:13
came out with an umbrella and then the sun he started talking00:53:19
around the house [ __ ] weather00:53:22
what else can you say00:53:24
rivers of the morning to the store run and run who is00:53:27
faster to see how much strength not kefir00:53:29
for yesterday this love00:53:32
they really hope that for forcibly00:53:35
dropped in price00:53:36
threatens the round kefir must be quiet00:53:39
natural they begin to be indignant I00:53:42
would not want to be near her at this time00:53:44
I can such a house refuse me00:53:48
turns off when nothing happens00:53:49
just what is the cost of a new game jacket varla00:53:52
obscenities why are you alone00:53:57
where is your house conscience00:54:00
he caught him and the man by surprise, he stands00:54:03
thinking about his, maybe even his wife will throw a00:54:06
ball at him in the house, the devil is dreaming of00:54:10
you in the morning to whom how much time of course he00:54:14
can send out of surprise00:54:17
when he said I’m leaving as from all sides00:54:19
at once my00:54:24
reason was and when without a reason I’ll00:54:27
wrap it up for you gentlemen I’ll say more, I’m driving00:54:30
in the transport here, I hear a man talking00:54:32
to the whole bus, I’m now a bastard,00:54:35
send him who gave this to me to the Red Army,00:54:37
anywhere in the00:54:38
office, so someone already began to be indignant from00:54:41
home, then we look at him sleeping,00:54:44
that is, many of us are already swearing in a dream00:54:46
they swear that's what it's come to return it00:54:48
happens beautifully swears God gave talent00:54:52
to everyone's ears at once so as not to00:54:54
miss a word he ca00:54:56
n't say anything except thank you he listened he listened all his00:54:58
life the nightingale Dion00:55:01
this is only in the spring but here all year round in00:55:04
one word dear ladies and dear00:55:07
gentlemen on this end with obscenities, we are already00:55:09
fighting from the day they were born, they sculpt girls like this00:55:12
and their wild mother gives birth to them, but we00:55:15
all need to give birth together, otherwise I see a bandage not 100:55:17
weight your mother somehow coolly00:55:24
she cudgels so that the intelligentsia their mother and the00:55:28
proletariat are its hegemon from and00:55:30
the government three times their father and mother, that00:55:33
is, make them a society, then00:55:35
maybe we will finally succeed in something, I00:55:37
would really like your mother to be00:55:43
scolded by his wife yesterday, they did00:55:46
n’t even quarrel, he just told her you’re a fool,00:55:50
you00:55:54
don’t know how to cook and look at you without00:55:57
makeup00:55:59
she said it’s scary and the little mind and the salary are00:56:02
small and00:56:04
everything else too00:56:10
I was upset went to bed immediately fell asleep like a00:56:14
dead sleep woke up early twilight I’m still00:56:17
looking around the room someone is walking around the room the00:56:20
ghost of the00:56:23
Ural Well get out of here the evil spirits and00:56:27
shut my mouth with your wife you’ll wake me up00:56:31
In short, it’s not him who became friends from a00:56:34
parallel world lives in our00:56:36
apartment, even our surnames are similar, both of them are00:56:39
milk birds while I delight the eggs of00:56:44
bulls,00:56:48
but the most important schools00:56:51
it turns out our worlds influence each00:56:54
other, let’s say if we have a surge in00:56:57
theft, they also have a bad harvest,00:57:01
why is it so unknown, but always like this00:57:05
they have long had strong expressions00:57:11
of their own for a long time nothing has been growing00:57:14
we now he said the boundaries between the worlds have become00:57:18
clouded now do we have a surge in00:57:20
theft in them the rain begins to00:57:22
pour00:57:23
and pours00:57:25
at night and during the day there is no dry place left and00:57:29
when he said such rains they all00:57:33
start swearing children and women00:57:36
elders at school will ask which sea00:57:40
the Volga flows into and the children don’t know screaming you00:57:43
tortured us already and so we don’t have a childhood00:57:46
and swearing the teacher of00:57:49
this tweet is on fire with obscenities we must learn to00:57:53
study and teach and00:57:57
when they have swearing pillar on pillar this is00:58:00
when impotence00:58:03
potency stands like a pillar how one is connected to the other00:58:07
no one knows or look what00:58:11
they get more from the sale of oil the00:58:14
topic of us gasoline is more expensive for00:58:20
some reason we have nothing to do with00:58:24
how oil and we are with our oil00:58:30
[applause]00:58:33
or so the more noticeable is the stratification00:58:36
of society in our country, the topic is that they are worse at cleaning up after the dogs on the street,00:58:39
the struggle in our country, the stratification00:58:42
did not begin to crap where only00:58:44
pigeons wanted, and now it has begun to crap00:58:48
in the spirit of a horse squirrels, the main thing is when00:58:52
their squirrels crap, our gasoline is becoming more expensive00:58:55
for everyone, there are incomprehensible I contact if00:58:59
they have some kind of crisis or sanctions,00:59:02
we start covering the sidewalks with expensive00:59:04
tiles00:59:07
[applause]00:59:11
sometimes the connection seems to look like the00:59:14
more we lie about the topic they lie the more, but it00:59:17
doesn’t work back the more they lie the more00:59:20
expensive our gasoline00:59:23
is. and think about it, even if you want it, you00:59:26
should not lie, say what00:59:29
you think, I don’t know, sometimes their eyes00:59:32
pop out of their heads when00:59:34
new people appear at the very top, not just the old ones are00:59:38
swapped, but the new ones, our GDP is growing,00:59:41
we are getting better and better00:59:43
bise quarrel but of course it gets more expensive and also00:59:46
improve00:59:49
kitty 3 we talked to the ghost,00:59:52
but we still didn’t understand why our worlds were00:59:55
connected like that, then it was already dawning on her, like an00:59:58
old friend, he asked why he01:00:01
had come to us, since there was such a connection between the01:00:04
worlds, he said when you quarrel with your wife, mine beats me, kicks me01:00:07
out of the house, they can’t01:00:11
you and yours, how can you caress01:00:14
him more softly, [ __ ] you, damn friend, softer, and01:00:18
then my lung opens01:00:22
her eyes for laughter, I say, you are the most beautiful,01:00:25
she cried and the ghost disappeared, maybe01:00:29
the truth is for us I started at least cleaning up after the dogs,01:00:32
or more often, and saying01:00:35
what we think, and then you look and gasoline has01:00:37
become cheaper with01:00:43
my wife that week, we return from visiting01:00:45
hungry, cold rain, we are in Russia, the01:00:49
wind is in our faces on foot, we are really01:00:52
close by for four kilometers,01:00:54
she laughs, she always laughs, why is she laughing, you won’t01:00:58
understand the riddle some kind of woman and I also01:01:00
look at her and laugh why am I laughing I don’t01:01:03
know I already approached the house my wife01:01:06
stumbled sitting on the asphalt laughing her01:01:08
feet in different directions the heels on both01:01:12
shoes flew off likes to walk in heels01:01:14
but doesn’t know how to01:01:16
find one heel we went home to01:01:20
look for then she’s going on a hike, I’m writing with one01:01:21
heel, that with two01:01:24
they came, they turned on the light, dirty and wet,01:01:26
let’s laugh, I look at her, let’s laugh, she’s looking at the heel,01:01:30
laughing, I’m looking01:01:33
at the heel, it’s not a heel, the case01:01:35
opened the diamond in there, for those, the01:01:39
small diamond is big, let’s go check it right away the01:01:41
door is locked or01:01:44
not, then we sat down, we sit like mice, we don’t laugh, we don’t move,01:01:47
there’s no point in moving, the neighbors01:01:50
might hear, they’ll think it’s not01:01:52
at night, suddenly a01:01:54
diamond moved, or something, they found,01:01:57
they hid a diamond in a sock, a sock, in a scarf, a scarf, in a box,01:02:00
in a box, in a boot,01:02:03
in the evening, she asks, found out, found out.01:02:06
recently we were killed for a little less by deeds and01:02:09
for a little more than 20, that is, the main thing for01:02:13
us was that no one really guessed that we are01:02:15
millionaires, the ambassador’s wife, borrow from all the neighbors01:02:18
at least as much as we can,01:02:20
I quickly took the wallpaper in the parquet corridor,01:02:23
tore off a light bulb in the corridor,01:02:26
broke the door from its hinges I took it off, it’s true, it’s01:02:29
going to burn, no, it’s clear that the millionaires,01:02:32
I hit the baseboards in the mirror with a hammer,01:02:35
I tore off the ceiling under the smokehouse, the legs01:02:37
were tired, I filed it down so that whoever came in right away,01:02:40
he wanted to leave,01:02:41
the wife looked up, well, more or less01:02:45
from that day on, of course, there’s not a01:02:47
crumb of food for them in the house it’s not like anyone can survive,01:02:50
they turned off the taps if anyone asked for water01:02:53
to drink, and of course, they hid the diamond from01:02:55
place to place every day and it made them feel01:02:57
safer, so I came home yesterday,01:02:59
the diamond wasn’t there, I grabbed an ax, I ran around the apartment with it, it’s still01:03:02
not there, and then there’s a cold down my01:03:05
wife’s spine. for 1 work come to the01:03:08
photo there is no video I guessed that she01:03:11
ran away with a diamond, that’s it, what01:03:15
treachery, what betrayal, what01:03:18
baseness and how I was the first to not guess to01:03:21
run away with a diamond and01:03:23
there for the benefit of the game I’m sitting at work, it’s not01:03:26
suddenly clear so you understand, come in who’s in01:03:28
our apartment, too, he will guess that the01:03:30
diamond is under the sink in a corrugated01:03:32
tube, I quickly ran home and that01:03:37
she hid the diamond, game well done, and01:03:39
where she hid it, she doesn’t remember,01:03:43
that is, she doesn’t remember, okay, let’s01:03:47
have dinner and then I’ll remember to drink compote and01:03:49
drink it myself first I do01:03:52
n’t want it and I don’t want it then, then01:03:56
dumplings with a tier and first I’ll go, she01:04:00
then lays the model in her hands and cried and01:04:04
then burns, well, to hell with this01:04:05
diamond, the game where it is and then she01:04:08
remembered in the compote to01:04:11
choose among my garbage chute, we walk around the01:04:14
apartment carefully Of course, so that01:04:16
Shanice can be returned, everyone will go around, she says,01:04:19
Lord, how good it is here, let’s01:04:21
laugh,01:04:26
and in the first place in the world,01:04:30
theft,01:04:32
I know what I’m saying in the evening yesterday,01:04:36
I was a little late;01:04:47
people fell apart with furs, no one and01:04:49
ran away, I stopped, I thought, like no one, the01:04:53
container with fur coats fell apart,01:04:56
steal no one, I don’t want this for now, I really01:05:02
looked around, really, no one, I think, after all, they’ll steal the01:05:06
fur coats, sure enough, and dear ones, no one is01:05:09
around, and probably not soon,01:05:11
someone will appear, looked around again since01:05:14
no, no one shows up and I think01:05:17
what a problem already guy 2 sable dragged them away01:05:21
no one saw each thousand for 2001:05:25
dollars01:05:26
that’s 2 for 20 it turns out ah ah01:05:30
40 thousand and I can’t think of anything else,01:05:34
as if on purpose my wife gave me in the morning01:05:37
she says, apparently I’ll never have a fur coat again,01:05:42
apparently I’ve been walking around naked all my life,01:05:46
her voice is loud and the main thing01:05:49
is that everything is announced, but there’s no place for lunch,01:05:51
I wanted to take cabbage salad, suddenly the voice of01:05:54
goats and cabbage eat01:05:57
so their wives wear fur coats and do01:06:01
n’t do anything ate ruins in short and in the old alley01:06:05
you don’t know what to do of course I think in01:06:07
emergency cases our people are still01:06:10
thieving thoughts when to steal anything the01:06:13
people are honest for the most part and when there is an01:06:16
emergency there is something to steal and it is01:06:19
dark and no one is nearby01:06:21
or it is light and full of people they will01:06:24
definitely steal in general, I hung myself for and01:06:29
against everything and decided that it was better to be poor, you are01:06:31
honest and went home, I just started01:06:34
screaming, apparently naked, I was born naked, I will die, and01:06:40
then a miracle, some force turns my01:06:44
face in the gateway and my legs moved on their own, I01:06:47
stand still and my legs move,01:06:50
it turns out that I, too, am walking in the gateway, shock01:06:54
is going on in the country, I think dark forces are01:06:57
stealing from a distance with the wrong hands,01:07:00
I run into the gateway, there are two with01:07:02
tire irons, asking for your ass, miles01:07:05
to go, take off your clothes01:07:08
[music]01:07:09
you watch them, what I came01:07:11
across are two with two sables, I01:07:14
think so what guys, they are independent, someone else’s01:07:18
and you, how can we not burn for everyone, only for the01:07:22
most thieving ones, he ran out of his01:07:25
fur coat 17 times, only 15 people came here,01:07:28
you are 16, my hair is standing on end, why did01:07:32
our theft come to the point of stealing01:07:35
live bait in boots, underpants, T-shirts in November my01:07:39
wife came home and opened the door and01:07:42
looked at me and said I’ll lie down in a coffin without a01:07:45
fur coat, well, you’re going through the winter01:07:49
without a coat at01:07:52
birth and who’s responsible for everything01:07:55
and who are the simple harmless people, stop stealing from you,01:08:05
good evening, dear friends01:08:08
have come01:08:10
to laugh at with your life, how can you01:08:14
intimidate such people01:08:19
into retirement soon I’ll have a blast, I wish you01:08:25
knew exactly what kind of pension you’ll01:08:28
get, the01:08:30
experts got confused, but I found one01:08:34
guy, he said who’s who and I01:08:39
know exactly how to honor the pension, I’ve read everything to the01:08:43
last penny, the01:08:44
pension came out to01:08:47
350,00001:08:51
I also asked him 350 a month, what are you doing? Of01:08:57
course, a month is not a year, they sewed God01:09:03
knows, on the one hand it’s good, on the01:09:07
other, feeling a catch somewhere, is there01:09:12
350,000 from the first pension, I’ll fly to Brazil01:09:19
for the carnival,01:09:21
you’re dancing until you drop,01:09:24
350,000 should be enough,01:09:26
well, still I’ll save01:09:29
a hotel somewhere, I’ll rent canned food with one breakfast, I’ll01:09:33
take a01:09:40
condom, there’s no need for a condom, they give it there, they01:09:44
should cover 300 thousand, and then the devil01:09:48
knows, I’m a little uneasy, I still01:09:51
feel a trick on my skin somewhere01:09:55
again, I caught a guy in the forehead, they’ll die from armor01:09:59
me 35,000 a month maybe a pension to study01:10:03
350,00001:10:05
mind no, just think about it, why would I01:10:09
deceive you as they wrote, so I01:10:12
calculated it just in case, I decided01:10:16
not to fly to Brazil for now,01:10:19
don’t risk it, I decided to go to Paris, a01:10:25
hotel with one breakfast, canned01:10:29
condoms, something else - I’ll save some money, I’ll01:10:33
take a look at the Eiffel Tower, I01:10:35
’ll go to the ENT and of course, to Napoleon’s grave,01:10:42
350,000 should be enough this time, and God01:10:45
knows, the department itself will calculate the01:10:49
pension itself, it didn’t work out,01:10:51
such nonsense came out01:10:54
15,000 a month,01:10:58
also can’t be, I01:11:00
recalculated all three times exactly01:11:04
15 thousand,01:11:06
that is, somewhere the same mistake01:11:09
was hidden01:11:13
15 thousand is a01:11:15
Scandinavian01:11:19
domino walking and in the evening kefir01:11:24
again waylaid this guy, I say not01:11:27
to offend, I believe you, but you need to know where to01:11:30
get a ticket if you take it in advance it will be01:11:33
cheaper, you come to me in Brazil in Paris01:11:36
or in Mytishchi and01:11:40
when no one was around, he gave him a01:11:43
bribe of01:11:44
half a liter of vodka,01:11:47
he drank one01:11:52
immediately and began to count it, and I01:11:55
can feel it right in my bones now, as if a dirty trick01:11:58
will emerge, maybe he points his finger at his01:12:02
columns, you see, he says two 2 2 4 3 + 501:12:09
81 multiplied by 11, how can this be done?01:12:12
make a mistake,01:12:13
well, thank God, and then the devil knows, he01:12:18
sat down to check the accounts and as the guy taught me the01:12:21
same thing, I have twice two four01:12:24
111 it turned out 15 thousand01:12:30
where is the mistake who is to blame I01:12:35
had a nervous breakdown between my heart and01:12:38
mind my01:12:40
heart is on fire01:12:42
no need 1500001:12:46
please but at01:12:48
once rested 15,00001:12:52
ran to find out more precisely about the01:12:55
man's family by family and about the owner and everything01:12:58
is clearer to the family a good wife is simple but01:13:02
beautiful the01:13:03
son is in the sixth grade studying for the next01:13:08
year for him we are cooking a new01:13:12
family always smiles at everyone even when there01:13:16
is no one around and01:13:19
there are such tyrants listen knock01:13:23
with your fist on the forehead you're crazy,01:13:27
how could it be 350 thousand if your salary is01:13:31
35 foam at the mouth swearing in a column of01:13:36
something raging envious take01:13:40
a bottle go to this guy maybe you01:13:43
'll get better than me I01:13:45
don't know how it used to be easier with01:13:49
pensions in general now it's better about pensions01:13:53
keep quiet and01:13:55
[applause]01:14:03
functional illnesses official01:14:05
medicine is powerless people, as always in01:14:07
such cases, are forced to turn to01:14:09
themselves folk remedies01:14:11
jokes and jokes women attention of one01:14:15
woman the husband didn’t drink much, well, after01:14:17
all, unconsciousness01:14:21
she and the old lady one of the things said this01:14:24
husband wakes up like - after drinking,01:14:26
he sees an elderly woman in a shirt wandering around the room,01:14:31
he got worried, saying where am I01:14:35
looking, he’s at home, then he thinks01:14:39
I brought someone, which means she’s a01:14:43
little old and what kind of donkeys are sticking out as if01:14:47
at such this work is a horse in a01:14:50
mine, his children run out, they also took01:14:53
part in the conspiracy, rushes to this01:14:55
woman, they scream mom, mom, good morning,01:14:58
his legs are twitching from nerves, or rather,01:15:02
1 1 lies quietly asleep 1 Tito01:15:06
twitched, well, the old lady says,01:15:09
get up, my falcon is with him and the second the leg01:15:13
twitched01:15:15
six months have passed now they are living well with their wife, they01:15:18
recently bought a bike for themselves on a01:15:21
loan01:15:23
about he really likes to ride in a lie, trembling01:15:27
remains and his legs cannot stay on the pedals01:15:29
although he mainly holds on to the saddle runs01:15:32
next to him to01:15:33
drink of course he gave up the bike and cannot01:15:37
tear him away 1 women her husband too01:15:40
he didn’t drink much, he didn’t undress immediately,01:15:43
of course, closer to the morning,01:15:46
but he couldn’t find how to undress the bed,01:15:50
she thinks it’s better to spend one time than01:15:53
to live in poverty all my life, and like on01:15:55
Monday, wherever possible, I poured in some01:15:58
vodka, maybe he comes in the evening, sit down and01:16:02
sip some vodka there he rushed01:16:05
to the refrigerator, took out kefir to wash it down, that's01:16:07
how she screams, God punished you, no matter01:16:11
what you touch, that's the bone one,01:16:14
stop drinking, he yells, no, never, and runs01:16:19
to the toilet, a whole glass 1 from the tank and there's01:16:23
also vodka there01:16:25
now they live well, did they send him a new01:16:28
coat from her old one,01:16:32
of course, he was a little out of his mind, but he doesn’t01:16:36
drink water at all, even01:16:39
one woman, her husband hardly drank so01:16:43
purely symbolically, he could have climbed up to cover it,01:16:46
he couldn’t stay on it,01:16:50
she herself began to treat him with vodka, but01:16:54
every time she poured powder in there so that it would01:16:57
bring him to01:16:58
drink he runs, he01:17:00
drinks, he runs and he’s so01:17:03
used to it01:17:05
[music]01:17:07
she’ll already forget to pick him up,01:17:11
he’s still running01:17:14
just an empty glass 0 cm, they’ll see01:17:18
everyone, even right next to us, it’s right and01:17:21
he’s started to be out in the fresh air often, he’s01:17:23
quietly stopped drinking for hours, they don’t01:17:26
live very well even on01:17:28
they subscribed to some newspaper for three months, anyone can be01:17:33
cured of drunkenness, of course, you can use01:17:34
hypnosis, but it’s better and folk remedies;01:17:58
lump you unlucky into one heap,01:18:01
we will be so lost to everyone who01:18:04
wooed her in his youth, a01:18:06
good person will01:18:09
come out of prison very soon and01:18:12
I’ll be stunned by the walrus felt boots I01:18:18
’ll declare gallium I’m not unlucky she’s who01:18:23
then did you ever walk down the street to01:18:25
find and the birds didn’t spoil01:18:28
I say this is a good sign and they don’t spoil their01:18:32
great ones on the monument, she robbed me during my life a01:18:36
year ago, a01:18:38
prostitute, a black spy,01:18:40
why did they detain you, I01:18:44
speak like a spy, they are like a01:18:47
prostitute,01:18:49
she who went to remove a mole from his knee,01:18:51
he was circumcised01:18:55
for silently getting up, she looked, looked01:18:58
at me flu go away and don't come again01:19:00
it will be better for all of us under her for the01:19:04
last time we eat water from the tap01:19:07
I'll accompany you let's01:19:10
go with her she's in front I'm a little behind01:19:13
us dragging along there's a small market she01:19:15
stopped at something she stopped with01:19:18
no money with me not a penny out of habit,01:19:20
probably like a horse, and01:19:23
I’m walking, can you imagine, I just01:19:26
caught up with her, there are no two flying up, one with01:19:29
a camera, 2 with a microphone, central01:19:31
television, you are the new president of Russia,01:19:34
your first decree, I was confused, guy01:19:38
again, you are the president of Russia, your first01:19:40
decree,01:19:41
when he said for the second time that I am now01:19:45
the President of Russia01:19:47
then I just believed,01:19:50
well, of course I was glad that I01:19:53
found no job01:19:55
and then there was a woman alone, she was feeling the tomatoes so01:19:59
that they wouldn’t put only rotten ones,01:20:02
she turns around, it’s burning where the01:20:05
President of Russia is and01:20:09
when with this tomato in the forehead not and from01:20:14
all sides how it started and there01:20:17
some sold yogurt, some01:20:19
sold sauerkraut, some sold mushrooms, some sold herring, the01:20:22
not-so-small market turned out to be worth01:20:27
having that the motive is scales in the cabbage,01:20:31
I understand that the president’s credit of trust01:20:35
has been exhausted,01:20:37
I think now I’ll urgently take a shower to Barvikha01:20:41
and get to work, and01:20:43
then I see a man1 reaching for a pumpkin01:20:47
in the brain of lightning not in time for the barvikha01:20:52
the man takes the pumpkin swings suddenly01:20:56
screams let me go to this man I’m the01:21:02
first ladies of the country01:21:06
there were still ladies with01:21:08
wallets01:21:10
lets her out but if she made her way to me it’s on01:21:13
fire renounce power the earth why is it01:21:16
such a case in general we’ve never had01:21:18
anyone renounce power she’s01:21:21
shaking, don’t ruin the country, you’re unlucky,01:21:24
you’ll renounce these, I’ll read everything and love you,01:21:27
what am I a fool promises, as I immediately renounced,01:21:30
hugged Gallivare, there’s nothing for them, something will01:21:33
turn up, look, Bruce, what a01:21:35
good sign for me in the sky above us, is it just a01:21:38
crane flying to us?01:21:42
beautiful, no words, the knightly birds would01:21:46
move the grid from such a height and so on.01:21:52
and01:21:53
we went home01:21:55
[applause]01:22:02
every nation has01:22:04
its own basic instinct, its main01:22:07
weakness, the French have love, the Germans have01:22:11
order, the Brazilians go to carnival, what is01:22:15
our main instinct, why in general are we most01:22:19
often drawn to01:22:21
drunkenness, theft,01:22:24
driving on a visit, lies, matter tires,01:22:28
gluttony, sex and stupidity, now among01:22:33
them we need to determine our most important01:22:35
instinct, let’s take gluttony and drunkenness,01:22:39
which is stronger, we eat a lot,01:22:43
if all over the world they eat 3 times a day,01:22:47
then we eat three times a day and 2 at night,01:22:56
life passes between the kitchen and the toilet,01:23:01
the most common diseases diarrhea constipation01:23:07
heartburn and some01:23:11
we eat everything except highly poisonous mushrooms01:23:16
growths lichen01:23:20
our infant baby is screaming that he either01:23:25
wants to eat or has eaten too much like01:23:28
this we eat volume and melons after meals01:23:33
during meals instead of eating01:23:37
we eat more01:23:39
now let’s take lies and swearing they lie to01:23:43
everyone at every Step by step are your shoes01:23:47
Vietnamese or Chinese are they01:23:50
Italian01:23:52
or Dutch where did you take mersedes01:23:56
yacht armored personnel carriers grandma left01:24:01
you don't marry us who else01:24:07
omate in the morning ai de serie how good01:24:12
your mother is01:24:14
the sun your mother is smiling01:24:18
clouds their mother is not01:24:20
directly singing everything in this mother of hers in her soul is01:24:25
difficult to determine what we have big from01:24:28
or lies, thanks to women, they swear01:24:31
only in their hearts and can collect without01:24:33
much effort01:24:34
reno on the main things, let's01:24:37
now see what is more important for us to01:24:40
record or go on a visit,01:24:43
well, why lie, not the children, the most important thing is01:24:47
of course to go to visit01:24:53
sex with us how is it01:24:56
wrong01:25:00
woman plugin01:25:04
Sochi we have something wrong with us to visit you01:25:07
even every day01:25:11
and visit from not for 10 minutes01:25:23
and not the same all the time01:25:28
but sex with us how to go there is01:25:32
not so after all, I couldn’t go to visit, well,01:25:36
okay, I01:25:38
couldn’t and no01:25:41
one could look at you askance,01:25:45
you won’t be able to look at everything with him, but01:25:49
we have sex with brushes for01:25:52
something01:25:54
like TV, whether you want it or not, but01:25:57
you watch it01:26:02
turned off, you think it’s an hour inside01:26:06
to go visit What’s more important for us01:26:18
is to compare theft and stupidity,01:26:21
stupidity, a lot of things, too, nothing can be understood, the01:26:23
answer to all questions is the same,01:26:27
they gave everyone a voucher, some became beggars,01:26:30
others, an oligarchy, why, according to01:26:34
benefits and scholarships, pensions are below the01:26:36
subsistence level, which, according to01:26:39
us, is most likely all- there is even01:26:41
more theft why out of eight01:26:45
there are four main growth instincts left01:26:48
lying to go on a visit peas is the most01:26:50
important one we take drunkenness and lying01:26:53
if all we lied01:26:56
to drink in what we drank01:27:00
will be flooded with the head of the Ministry of Emergency Situations and01:27:03
gums that in a dream they lie a little drink a lot01:27:06
drunkenness ahead Perry theft and01:27:08
go on a visit if you’re barely alive you won’t01:27:11
go on a visit if you can’t see, you can’t hear and it’s01:27:15
painful to swallow, and01:27:16
if something is bad, take it, you’ll pull01:27:19
yourself up01:27:22
even if you’re dying,01:27:25
unconscious, they steal that’s what01:27:29
they say, the husband didn’t realize that01:27:32
he was doing01:27:34
theft more important for us now the finale is01:27:37
theft and drunkenness, we steal everything and what is not01:27:40
allowed and what is not needed, I do everything and what kind01:27:43
of thing that kills for a thousand years they could not01:27:46
determine that we have the first and only01:27:48
recently one thieving drunkard01:27:51
let it slip to me in a day legs 16 times and01:27:54
hand 17 brotherhood we have a basic snapshot01:27:58
than this suggests that we will be lost01:28:00
we need another basic instinct01:28:09
she01:28:16
me and you is that from01:28:20
the population notebook the birth rate is falling01:28:22
because we achieve orgasm only01:28:25
during theft01:28:28
life expectancy in Russia is 59 years01:28:31
for men take seven women for comparison01:28:35
in Japan 7 out of 8 men 83 for women the numbers01:28:38
don’t lie and it may seem that the Japanese are01:28:41
healthier than us but all of our people in Japan live01:28:46
well over 90 they are the only Japanese among us up to 5901:28:55
for a kick01:28:57
will explain the treatment another one so01:29:00
optimistic if you believe the signs01:29:03
soon we will all get rich yesterday states01:29:08
met with the people didn’t recognize each01:29:11
other01:29:13
[applause]01:29:18
five minutes ago I’m sitting at home warm01:29:23
dry cozy01:29:25
dumplings on TV shows erotica I fall asleep01:29:30
in short and01:29:34
suddenly for no reason I think01:29:37
they have to pay for cold water01:29:39
for travel they raised the price for medicine01:29:43
they removed the benefit for garbage they raised the price and01:29:46
ran out onto the balcony and into the whole city at01:29:49
dawn, [ __ ] you all01:29:52
and01:29:53
jumped from the twentieth floor,01:29:56
found something, lost control of myself01:29:59
recently, I also approached the01:30:01
underpass, a colleague, and by the way, the beauty, by the01:30:05
way, she comes to me all day like a01:30:09
child in an oak tree,01:30:10
why? they took a mine of good sausage,01:30:15
she doesn’t close my eyes closely, and I01:30:19
heard the handsome guy don’t feed him bread, just01:30:22
give them someone worse than01:30:24
this, of course, great luck,01:30:29
in short, let’s go to me, she pressed herself still01:30:32
burning, I’m just shaking all over,01:30:35
I was overcome with heat, then I also01:30:37
trembled all over, then something happened don’t moan everywhere in May,01:30:40
flooding when the dress doesn’t drown01:30:44
for the radio, I don’t listen, I never pay for the01:30:48
garbage, he didn’t pay for the whole street,01:30:52
like for ore, [ __ ] you all01:30:55
and ran across the road in the wrong01:30:57
place,01:30:58
not a single car stopped, but01:31:01
I ate the splash safely without consequences,01:31:03
I found something like that, my nerves were01:31:06
steely that week too 2 and I’m on my way to a01:31:08
pager01:31:10
message, your uncle showed up in America,01:31:13
God rest in peace,01:31:15
left you 10 billion dollars,01:31:18
hid the artisans, he’ll go to you again and01:31:22
let the earth rest in peace 20 billion and01:31:26
the island is in good condition,01:31:29
of course I was incredibly happy, I think01:31:32
I’m now a sheikh with a layer and there won’t be01:31:35
Chubais, there will be a light in the corridor, turning it on01:31:38
and off, and01:31:41
suddenly, for no reason at all, I think for the garbage,01:31:44
you have to pay them01:31:46
without tickets in the form of a fine, pay me, what’s your name,01:31:49
[ __ ] you all at full speed 14001:31:53
kilometers per hour jumped out of the tram01:31:56
jumped out safely without consequences01:31:58
found something but now I’ll fall the twentieth floor01:32:01
without consequences I’ll say I’ll show it to01:32:04
the doctor apparently there’s still something wrong with the nerves01:32:11
how many years how many winters when was the01:32:14
last time we saw you yesterday01:32:18
here you are you don’t know anything yesterday Peter01:32:21
shroud killed each other dollars except01:32:24
Luther turned on the TV watched watched01:32:26
for half an hour there’s nothing happened and red01:32:30
showed it’s not here and only craffin01:32:33
nettles it’s not interesting to watch he came to01:32:36
Ivan my Ivan immediately came drunk01:32:39
the truth and Potter raspberry under he was drunk01:32:42
and in short drunk shoes insole his01:32:45
first from fixed the TV earned he01:32:48
put the plug into the socket someone earned01:32:51
went red ball price Carib good goes01:32:55
large disappeared row and he take it and hit the01:32:59
TV with his fist then take it01:33:01
explode you need books a fight or a flag and01:33:04
who that’s who is to blame and I think01:33:07
Ivan is to blame and Peter is right maybe he doesn’t01:33:09
understand on TV just from which01:33:12
side look at all the letters Van powders in01:33:15
the spring took narrowed labor to accept your01:33:18
business, you studied that you’re flying where you01:33:22
shouldn’t with a knife stood up at the bedside mentioning01:33:25
cutting off your eyes like that God opened the husband with a01:33:29
knife at his throat,01:33:30
fainting strength with a heart, I see something I see three,01:33:34
now karma has given birth to one, so I think the01:33:38
nets are Peter, it’s not Ivan pyotr, but who01:33:41
else know who you’re calling, especially since Michon01:33:44
Laka doesn’t knit, why call what kind of drunken01:33:46
question Belkin over there, Sergei Alekseevich is an01:33:49
agronomist, consider him a non-drinker and whoever sees him01:33:52
in the field 1 sees that bar from him came01:33:56
my skills to treat the case by night wife sleep01:33:58
hostess at Sergei Resech respectful01:34:01
woman guests her bed and entered the01:34:03
nobility themselves in the entryway laid her husband01:34:06
ahead and they added more under in the morning01:34:10
my brother is not in bed, out of habit,01:34:12
now I only write - only for marriage and01:34:16
drunkenness they don’t remember what happened, what didn’t happen, the wives laugh,01:34:20
scream, nothing could have01:34:23
happened, but how funny they are, such01:34:27
things are Ivan’s fault, of course, and okay,01:34:30
no, Peter Peter is it his fault or isn’t it all the01:34:33
same, Peter is to blame Ivan quietly hit the01:34:36
TV, yes, too, it’s01:34:38
not the face of the TV, it’s no use01:34:40
knocking on his chest in such a hurry, the dude is01:34:43
now showing you Timofey on three legs,01:34:46
Ivan Zubkov hurried to climb onto the roof to01:34:48
fix a pipe, and the neighbor’s summer resident01:34:51
was sunbathing with a spoon covered herself, she crawled01:34:54
on the roof like the media that you're crawling, you have01:34:57
n't seen your mother yet, then you bought pink gel01:35:01
under the burdock, are you leaving?01:35:14
she stood there to bathe her grandson and started to pour01:35:16
boiling water and poured some boiling water and went to get a cold one. Timokha crawled01:35:21
here and crawled over,01:35:22
but her chest and face weren’t hurt at all,01:35:25
thank God her legs, too, words will be whole,01:35:28
everything else is hard-boiled,01:35:31
so you, I think Peter’s not to blame, Ivan’s01:35:35
not to blame, just how we Russians01:35:38
turn out no one guilty and01:35:41
everyone's faces are bitten01:35:43
[applause]01:35:48
masculine gender is just around the corner, all sorts of01:35:50
re-elections on this matter without hints,01:35:54
almost the senior in the building01:35:56
I'm the senior in the building for the second term already according to the01:36:00
charter it is no longer possible in a month we must01:36:03
transfer power to a successor we always have a01:36:06
sore point and the transfer of power I’d be01:36:09
happy to tell it to someone, there are 3-401:36:12
people, one is absolutely stupid, that is, he does01:36:16
n’t understand at all what they’re talking to him about,01:36:18
tell him good afternoon and he doesn’t steal, and he does01:36:24
n’t steal, there are such stupid ones,01:36:27
he carries whatever happens, you tell him01:36:31
sidor Petrovich, what are you doing, dear, we01:36:33
dressed easily, it’s cool outside, and he doesn’t01:36:36
steal,01:36:38
and here the weather is stupid, endless and01:36:41
holy for the soul, nothing for Easter,01:36:44
our main holiday today, and he is a believer, be01:36:47
baptized every second, as much as the wind01:36:50
around him is on Easter, tell him Christ is01:36:53
risen, Sidor Petrovich. he doesn’t steal, the01:36:57
doctors say he has nothing in his mind, he01:37:00
probably bribed him, there’s probably01:37:02
still a young guy, he’s smart, I won’t01:37:06
say anything, he’s smart, he has energy in him, but01:37:09
morally, one word,01:37:11
abscess, sits during the day, reads Chekhov, he01:37:15
got caught in the evening in a bathhouse with prostitutes,01:37:19
people saw my son, he recognized them as01:37:23
prostitutes01:37:26
six months ago another sleep for 10 days garrett01:37:30
was at an international symposium on the topic of01:37:33
hygiene of a second marriage, well, let’s say he was at01:37:37
the symposium, otherwise who01:37:39
was lying at the venereal dispensary at the same time,01:37:42
my brother identified him, there is01:37:45
also one quiet and modest01:37:48
intellectual, orthopedic shoes, glasses,01:37:52
minus 7 head on side everything is fine but01:37:56
killer and01:37:58
I when I was wondering about my sword or we were somewhere01:38:01
with a violin case of choice buzzing01:38:04
obligatory message contract killings it was01:38:07
not possible to catch anyone every day he01:38:10
with the case sniffing to the introduction murder how to01:38:12
catch no one at once he who on01:38:15
think about it, there is also a female doctor01:38:19
in a madhouse, I won’t say that01:38:23
you’ll fall for someone and you’ll get01:38:25
something to eat, but I don’t want to slander,01:38:28
especially since her eyes are almost imperceptible, she01:38:30
somehow has a crooked mouth in different directions, very01:38:35
crooked, and no, I don’t want to slander01:38:38
It’s always ugly, she has dandruff on her01:38:40
collar in01:38:41
winter, it’s even noticeable, well, you never know who has an incurable01:38:44
illness, it’s not contagious,01:38:48
most likely, but she’s not responsible for her husband,01:38:52
he’s drug couriers, as a diversion, he01:38:55
got a job at one institute as a01:38:57
professor during the day, he gives lectures and when it01:39:01
gets dark, he gets a job young people one after another,01:39:03
so think about which of these four should you01:39:06
recommend in your place, living in01:39:08
what people don’t want you, the senior person at01:39:11
the entrance was someone besides me,01:39:13
very simple people approach them for the first01:39:15
time in our entrance, the number of words01:39:18
are burning only you, there is no replacement for you if not,01:39:22
and we lay hands on ourselves, and now he doesn’t know01:39:24
what to do, who’s smarter says01:39:27
let’s change the setting so that you can01:39:29
sit 4 40 or let him be the head of01:39:32
two entrances, this is a completely different01:39:35
position, I don’t care, as it’s not important01:39:37
that people feel better they will say, hand over01:39:40
the power by inheritance, I will hand it over to01:39:42
my relatives, because the01:39:45
main thing now is democracy01:39:49
[applause]01:39:53
the situation of the country, the external situation, the01:39:55
fist that threatened the world was born and01:39:58
now we are standing with an outstretched hand,01:40:02
internal insert briefly on the main01:40:04
directions of the political system of01:40:06
democracy, the fundamental differences of democracy,01:40:09
freedom if under tsarism, it was important not01:40:12
to die in hard labor; under socialism, in a01:40:14
mental hospital; under democracy, the main thing is to01:40:16
survive in freedom; the01:40:23
social composition of society, the wider01:40:25
the composition, the more developed the society; ours is01:40:28
more developed; judge for yourself; they are rich01:40:31
and wealthy, well-to-do;01:40:34
can01:40:36
afford to have three cars for one family01:40:38
and all of us are oligarchs beggars very poor01:40:44
extremely no one and the poorest beggars beyond01:40:47
nowhere absolutely beggars things absolutely01:40:50
poverty beggars of which there is no such thing as01:40:57
leaders the situation changed dramatically for the01:41:01
better before only after their death we01:41:04
found out that they the enemies of the people are now01:41:06
immediately clear who,01:41:08
as they say, of them is hum01:41:11
and in01:41:13
Rome we finally have the army that01:41:16
Suvorov dreamed of; belly in hunger; head in01:41:19
cold;01:41:23
medicine here is all good; there are no complaints01:41:26
and cannot be; the healthy do01:41:27
n’t know anything about medicine; the sick wo01:41:30
n’t say anything;01:41:35
social protection of citizens is meant,01:41:37
of course, first of all,01:41:39
funeral services01:41:41
today, everyone can count on services;01:41:43
in other words, the state01:41:46
is ready to bury everyone;01:41:51
science if, throughout the world, how much you invest in01:41:54
science, so much from it and get what you01:41:56
can invest in here, not a damn thing, but you get 67, and in01:41:59
better years eight times not a damn thing01:42:04
[music]01:42:06
art, the most important thing for us today01:42:09
is undoubtedly pornography01:42:12
if the basic creative principle of01:42:15
realism is what you think and what you show01:42:17
that the main creative principle of01:42:18
pornography is what you think and what you show is01:42:24
especially the cultural exchange of the West this is01:42:27
the only exchange that is01:42:29
carried out on conditions favorable to us01:42:31
they for a horror film we have a lot of01:42:33
poems01:42:35
fight against crime01:42:38
fight against crime today01:42:41
deadline tomorrow the names of the01:42:43
perpetrators and customers of the most notorious01:42:45
crimes of recent times will be named such01:42:48
as the murder of Tsarevich Dmitry a01:42:50
cockroach is needed01:42:55
ecology means how01:42:58
polluted the habitat is, you can say01:43:00
this if their environment is polluted then we have01:43:03
Tuesday Wednesday Thursday buildings01:43:10
[music]01:43:12
life expectancy in Russia 59 years01:43:15
for men 67 for women for comparison in01:43:17
Japan, respectively, 78 men 83 for01:43:20
women, the numbers don’t lie and it may seem01:43:22
that the Japanese are healthier than us, but all of our people in01:43:27
Japan live well over 90 they One01:43:30
Japanese guy in our country did01:43:34
n’t make it to 5901:43:38
sex. Our scientists have discovered a connection between01:43:42
gamers having sex. They noticed that when01:43:45
it’s funny it doesn’t work out and01:43:48
when it doesn’t work out it’s not funny. The01:43:55
gold reserve, but here it’s just who the reserve is01:43:59
and the gold01:44:02
of the population, the birth rate is falling01:44:05
because we achieve orgasm only in01:44:07
time of theft01:44:13
housing construction for each family a01:44:15
separate apartment in 2000 it did not01:44:18
work out but it will probably work out by01:44:20
next year 3 100001:44:24
this is the picture everything seems to be good01:44:26
general impressions there is no doubt that01:44:29
the church was separated from the state and the01:44:31
state was separated from industry the01:44:33
science of agriculture and so on01:44:35
all this once again shows that you can’t understand Russia with your mind01:44:41
[applause] it’s01:44:46
dangerous for the country to go out at01:44:48
fifteen minutes to 8 on average in large cities01:44:50
it’s dangerous to go out at twenty minutes to eight without a01:44:53
weapon, but in small towns and villages it’s better to have a01:44:55
weapon instead of staying at home the01:44:57
crime has now been01:44:59
stabilized even when they changed01:45:01
the time to an hour and thought that it would be dangerous01:45:03
to go out at fifteen minutes to nine, the robbery01:45:05
continued at fifteen minutes to 8, it was01:45:08
clearly possible to bring down the roses of senile01:45:11
crime, especially under articles of01:45:14
rape in a sophisticated form,01:45:17
rape in a uniform, are accepted01:45:19
everywhere special to make children's01:45:22
street crime and01:45:24
organized crime in the highest01:45:26
echelons of power In our case, this goes according to the same01:45:28
column of the Tasha, neither one nor the other differed for themselves,01:45:31
are there01:45:34
crimes that go undetected? To be honest, there is a01:45:37
case where one high-ranking official01:45:39
loses a large amount of government money,01:45:41
not far from our ministry, by the way,01:45:44
which immediately confused the money, he loses it in01:45:46
Moscow and they found it in Zurich lost on the01:45:49
street found in the bank percent and pizza for01:45:52
nothing we work in the most difficult conditions there was a01:45:54
case of his since then in broad daylight they shot01:45:56
one banker the killers grabbed him on the spot01:45:59
he says it was a contract killing01:46:01
of course he was released anyway not everything is01:46:03
not disclosed01:46:05
there is no evidence of that we know who when01:46:09
where we have fingerprints from a01:46:11
hidden camera of witnesses we01:46:13
can prove nothing we know where the threads lead01:46:16
up we know who by name you also01:46:20
know them all well Yeltsin Boris01:46:22
Nikolayevich01:46:23
said let’s prove the01:46:27
evidence is not here in short we ca01:46:30
n’t cope with the fight against crime we01:46:31
need the help of the population several01:46:33
examples of teeth Alexey Vasilyevich, the01:46:35
kingdom of heaven, he stood at the stand for a minute, he stood at the01:46:38
stand, the police are looking for them, it01:46:40
turns around, not everything here is bad with him, a01:46:43
heart break, Tamara Mikhailovna Kuskovo, the01:46:46
kingdom of heaven saw two01:46:49
shadows of Caucasian nationality01:46:51
crawling at night, the store called us three seconds later,01:46:55
they didn’t even have time to touch anything there01:46:58
that out of the blue we01:46:59
didn’t take anyone they went underground he01:47:02
should be there ok we couldn’t find him01:47:04
Sergei Sergei Sergeevich stars you01:47:07
instilled in him heavenly civil courage he01:47:09
immediately called the police as soon as he found out01:47:11
that his car was stolen posthumously01:47:14
awarded a personalized01:47:16
collective watch accomplished a feat with peas01:47:18
Timofey Abram from the kingdom of heaven01:47:19
Romashkin Egor Timofeev kingdoms of Timati01:47:22
Eshkin Timati and Egor the kingdom of heaven01:47:24
only 20 people tried at the market01:47:27
to return rotten goods to the sellers without the01:47:30
population we are like without hands we ask everyone, rest01:47:33
in peace, help us and we also01:47:37
turn to sponsors without sponsors we are01:47:40
like without a head radio telephones we need01:47:42
cars weapons we without them are like without legs01:47:45
but without a head and without arms and without legs what01:47:47
remains to work and there is nothing else from here01:47:51
and the same result01:47:54
[applause] [music01:48:03
]01:48:18
[music]01:48:34
[music]01:48:48
on01:48:54
[music]Description:
🎗Памяти сатирика🎗 О вечном: О любви... О воровстве... О пьянстве... Автор: Анатолий Трушкин Исполнитель: Анатолий Трушкин Год сборки: 2021 🥰🤣Российский прозаик, сценарист, сатирик, редактор, юморист и телеведущий Анатолий Трушкин. К огромному сожалению его уже нет, он умер от короновирусной инфекции в июне 2020 года. Писатель выступал сам и работал над материалами для других известных артистов: Михаила Евдокимова, Ефима Шифрина, Яна Арлазорова, Владимира Винокура и других. 00:00 Анатолий Трушкин - Ограбление олигарха (Бомж) 04:00 Анатолий Трушкин - Загадка Монны Лизы (8 версий) 07:39 Анатолий Трушкин - Приметы 13:35 Анатолий Трушкин - Ограбление по Русски 20:15 Анатолий Трушкин - Нервы - Вещь Тонкая 24:30 Анатолий Трушкин - Мутак второй 29:28 Анатолий Трушкин - Нищие 34:56 Анатолий Трушкин - О лекарствах 40:32 Анатолий Трушкин - Подарок жене 46:24 Анатолий Трушкин - Легенда о любви 52:02 Анатолий Трушкин - Мат 55:43 Анатолий Трушкин - Между мирами (Призрак) 01:00:42 Анатолий Трушкин - Загадка Моны Лизы (Бриллиант) 01:04:26 Анатолий Трушкин - На живца 01:08:04 Анатолий Трушкин - На пенсию скоро 01:14:01 Анатолий Трушкин - Народные средства 01:17:43 Анатолий Трушкин - Невезучий 01:22:01 Анатолий Трушкин - Основной инстинкт 01:29:17 Анатолий Трушкин - Нервы 01:32:09 Анатолий Трушкин - Кто виноват 01:35:47 Анатолий Трушкин - Передача власти (Старший по подъезду) 01:39:52 Анатолий Трушкин - Положение в стране 01:44:45 Анатолий Трушкин - Преступность Смотрите также плейлисты других артистов: 🤡 Лучшие сборники юмора: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxngyvelpJJYbzP2SPCZcQWTg 👴 Анатолий Трушкин: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxng7NHcDQrNWcpD2WFKTSmMw 🤠 Игорь Маменко: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnjHluxZLDyev-l4nxuqLpBA 👩 Светлана Рожкова: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxngB8iDUyv0r8SIXkuHnU5on 👨 Ефим Шифрин: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxngzNtTYbPCIUW53KG_FXgNi 👩❤️👩 Новые Русские Бабки: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnhA9QS9zsB0BUctQWNgGiJf 👱 Аркадий Райкин: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxngohNxQ_EWP1mJh9b8qzwag 👨🦳 Владимир Винокур: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnhL8EhBPIjxvt_V0koYBWvC 💁♂️ Виктор Коклюшкин: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnjQCTAuahN8iNFuSP92-mAj 👧 Елена Воробей: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnhhODCXKcKxyT60xuICULOi 👨🎤 Сергей Дроботенко: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnihKiK0oL91ggcVNWk-6dfz 🤵 Михаил Евдокимов: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxniz602HwSPzNWYNTBGxdBB3 🕵️♂️ Святослав Ещенко: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxngnGgtFDXMuP7yfgfeYfe3I 👲 Обид Асомов: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnjcTyX8ybXP_aG4zgFphBRb
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