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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:04
paradoxical way to live happily00:00:07
abstract modern society00:00:10
promotes the cult of success, be smarter00:00:13
richer more productive be the best social00:00:16
the Internet is replete with stories on how00:00:19
some guy came up with an app and00:00:21
made a lot of money with articles like00:00:23
1000 and 1 way to be happy and photo00:00:26
in the friend feed they create the impression that00:00:28
those around them live better and more interesting than00:00:31
we however our fixation on the positive00:00:34
and success only reminds us of what we are00:00:36
didn't achieve dreams that didn't come true00:00:39
how to become truly happy00:00:42
popular blogger Mark Manson in the book00:00:44
the subtle art of not giving a damn suggests00:00:47
your original approach to this issue00:00:49
his life philosophy is simple00:00:52
you need to learn the art of not giving a damn00:00:54
defining what you really care about00:00:57
there is a matter you need to be able to give a damn00:00:59
secondary forget about difficulties00:01:01
to hell with other people's opinions and be00:01:04
ready to face failure and00:01:06
show them the middle finger chapter one00:01:09
don't try Charles Bukowski was00:01:13
alcoholic womanizer compulsive gambler00:01:15
boorish, miserly beggar, and on the worst days00:01:18
so this is the last person who00:01:21
would you take as a model or expect00:01:24
see in the book of practical advice and00:01:26
So we’ll start with him, Bukovsky wanted00:01:29
become a writer but decades of it00:01:31
rejected almost every magazine almost00:01:34
every newspaper almost every agent and00:01:36
the publisher he contacted said00:01:38
his work is terribly rude and sad00:01:41
the pile of rejection letters was getting dirty00:01:44
increasingly driving hopelessness and under00:01:46
burdened by Bukowski's failures again and again00:01:48
reaching for a bottle of hopeless melancholy00:01:51
tormented him all his life during the day he worked00:01:54
postman and most of his00:01:56
spent a pear salary on booze00:01:58
I dropped the rest on the races in the evening00:02:01
sometimes alone I wrote poetry00:02:03
often on an old beat-up typewriter00:02:05
having escaped from the swill, woke up in the morning on00:02:08
half and so 30 years have passed for the most part00:02:11
in a senseless haze of drunk drugs00:02:14
horse racing and prostitutes finally when00:02:16
Bykovsky hit fifty dollars and behind00:02:19
a lifetime of failure and disgust remained00:02:21
showed an unexpected attitude towards him00:02:23
interest in small independent00:02:25
small edition publishing house00:02:28
the publisher didn't promise me any money00:02:30
sympathized with the private drunkard and00:02:32
decided to give him a chance for Bukovsky00:02:35
there was the first chance and, of course, the last00:02:37
he answered the publisher and I have no way out00:02:40
no, or stay at the post office and go crazy00:02:42
or try to become a writer at risk and00:02:44
I decided to starve to death00:02:47
having concluded the Bukovsky agreement in three weeks00:02:49
wrote his first novel called it without00:02:52
the post office's dedication read:00:02:55
dedicated to anyone Bukowski took place00:02:59
as a writer and poet he then published00:03:01
six novels and hundreds of poems00:03:03
his books have sold 2 million copies00:03:06
copies00:03:07
popularity exceeded everyone's expectations00:03:10
especially his own stories about00:03:12
we love people like Bukowski dearly and ours00:03:15
culture life Bukowski embodies00:03:17
man fights for the American dream00:03:19
never gives up and its the wildest00:03:22
dreams come true, what a plot for a movie00:03:24
and we watch stories like this and we change00:03:27
you see he didn’t give up and didn’t give up00:03:30
always believed in you and went against fate00:03:33
and achieved everything isn’t it strange00:03:36
gravestone engraved by Bukowski00:03:38
epitaph do not try to print runs and00:03:42
words of glory and Bukowski was a loser00:03:45
and he knew it and he owes his success to00:03:48
not because he intended to win, no he00:03:51
knew that the loser had come to terms with it and00:03:53
honestly wrote about it, he didn’t try00:03:55
pretend to be a genius00:03:58
Bukovsky was not that he overcame00:04:00
unimaginable obstacles and became a literary00:04:02
beacon, just the opposite is the case00:04:05
the ability to remain crystal honest with00:04:07
ourselves especially the worst parts00:04:09
yourself and talk about your failures without00:04:12
hesitations and doubts so genuine00:04:14
Bukowski's success story he wasn't chasing00:04:17
luck he didn't even care about success00:04:20
Having achieved fame, he came drunk to00:04:23
meeting with their readers, but he’s not cute00:04:25
hid what he was like, slept with all the women00:04:27
consecutive fame and success did not make him00:04:30
a good person and no thanks00:04:32
morals he became famous and successful00:04:34
self-improvement and success often come00:04:36
hand in hand but that doesn't mean they00:04:39
same thing our culture is fixated on00:04:42
unrealistically positive expectations00:04:44
be happier and healthier00:04:47
best be smarter faster richer00:04:49
sexy more popular more productive00:04:51
envy and admiration for others be00:04:54
perfect and stunning every morning00:04:57
bye to 12 ounces of you golden00:04:59
kiss nuggets goodbye parables00:05:02
chicken wife and two and a half children and00:05:04
departing by helicopter to00:05:05
superbly excellent work00:05:07
perform unimaginable feats for the good00:05:10
humanity but if you stop and00:05:12
think about it00:05:13
common advice positive chatter about00:05:16
focus on how to be happy00:05:18
attention to flaws they highlight moments00:05:21
which you consider your failures and00:05:23
fail and highlight them you are looking for00:05:26
the best way to make money because00:05:28
you feel that there is no money, you convince yourself00:05:31
standing in front of the mirror that you are beautiful00:05:33
because you don’t feel beautiful00:05:35
you follow the advice regarding00:05:37
dating relationship because you don’t believe it00:05:40
that you can be loved as you are00:05:42
you do stupid exercises00:05:44
visualization of success because you don’t see it00:05:47
success in your life and here is the paradox00:05:49
focus on the positive on the best00:05:52
and excellent only reminds you again00:05:54
and again about what you dreamed about00:05:56
you miss dreams that don't00:05:59
come true because not a single one is truly happy00:06:01
a person will not stand in front of a mirror and00:06:04
hammer into himself that he is happy, why?00:06:06
he needs to calm down there is a saying00:06:09
The smallest dog barks the loudest00:06:11
a confident man has no need to prove00:06:14
your confidence and a rich woman hers00:06:17
wealth is already visible, but what if everything00:06:20
it's not time to dream about something from the subconscious00:06:22
the thought comes out that what is desired is not there from everyone00:06:24
parties we hear and TV commercials care about00:06:26
so that we believe in this, life will get better00:06:29
if we have interesting work more00:06:31
cool car, cuter girlfriend00:06:34
or a heated inflatable pool for00:06:36
children we are constantly told that the way to00:06:39
better life lies through more more more more00:06:42
buy more do more [ __ ]00:06:44
more to be than to do something00:06:46
tempting to buy a new TV00:06:48
have a better holiday than your colleagues00:06:50
get new jewelry for00:06:52
lawn think about the right shelf for00:06:54
selfie apparently because fixation on00:06:56
I'm great for business00:06:59
I'm not at all against a successful business, but00:07:01
the trouble is these worries are negative00:07:04
will affect the psyche, you attach too much00:07:07
dedicate to the superficial and false00:07:09
life is chasing a mirage of happiness and00:07:11
satisfaction is the key to a good life00:07:13
not in more and more new worries00:07:16
he has fewer worries to take care of00:07:19
only genuine and important00:07:21
vicious hellish circle to our consciousness00:07:24
inherent insidious overshoot which if for00:07:26
he can’t keep track of it and can lead to00:07:28
insanity tell you this00:07:30
I know you are worried about your relationship with00:07:33
someone's anxiety eats you up and you don't00:07:36
you understand where it came from and then00:07:38
worry about being worried00:07:41
no strength anxiety has doubled you are worried00:07:44
because of anxiety and this causes even more00:07:46
worries whether they sip whiskey or you00:07:49
you are angry for some unknown reason00:07:51
get angry over trifles, over completely00:07:54
nonsense but the fact that you are easy to get out00:07:56
from oneself only increases the anger finally in00:07:59
in futile anger you realize that00:08:01
constant grumpiness has made you00:08:03
a petty and unsightly person and so00:08:06
the result is you are angry with yourself for what00:08:08
be angry for being angry and let it all go00:08:11
I'd be damned if I could punch someone in the face or00:08:13
you're so worried about what to do00:08:16
It’s all right that you are haunted by yourself00:08:18
the fact of excitement or feeling00:08:20
so guilty for every mistake that00:08:22
feels guilty about feeling guilty00:08:25
or you are so sad and lonely that00:08:28
just the thought of it makes me sadder00:08:29
and loneliness00:08:30
welcome to the enchanted hellish00:08:33
circle, most likely you have already been in it00:08:35
maybe you are still in it now00:08:37
Lord, it's a vicious cycle again00:08:40
circle what a loser I am I have to get out00:08:43
him and I feel like a loser because of that00:08:45
that you need to stop considering yourself a loser00:08:47
call yourself losers, damn it again00:08:49
called yes what is it again and again00:08:51
relax amigo, believe it or not, you belong here00:08:55
It’s lovely because there are few animals00:08:58
capable of thinking logically and we are people00:09:00
we have the luxury of thinking about thoughts00:09:03
let's say I'm wondering if I should take a look00:09:06
video with miley cyrus on youtube and right there00:09:09
the thought comes to mind that you have to go crazy to00:09:11
what a video with miley cyrus to survive00:09:13
the wonder is our consciousness and here is our problem00:09:16
society on the wonders of consumerism00:09:18
culture and through social networks00:09:20
raised a whole generation of people who00:09:23
believe that negative experiences are anxiety00:09:25
fear of wine is not normal if you believe it00:09:28
friend feed on facebook everyone lives so00:09:30
You'll be jealous just this week00:09:33
eight people got married on TV00:09:35
showed a 16-year-old girl who00:09:37
birthday gift given to ferrari or boy00:09:40
made 2 billion dollars by making up00:09:42
applications that automatically00:09:43
substitutes a new portion of toilet00:09:45
paper when the old thing ends and you00:09:47
sit at home and play the fool and in your head00:09:51
the thought creeps in that your life is even worse00:09:53
what the vicious circle seemed to become00:09:55
a real epidemic bringing millions of people00:09:58
to stress neuroses and self-loathing00:10:00
Was it something my grandfather had before?00:10:03
his soul was miserable and he said to himself damn it00:10:06
take me feeling like a cow00:10:08
flat cake but such is life I’ll go shovel it00:10:10
hay and now what's on your mind cats00:10:13
they gave a [ __ ] in five minutes at you00:10:15
got enough sleep 350 photos00:10:17
where people are absolutely happy and live in00:10:19
your pleasure00:10:20
an inferiority complex arises00:10:22
the latter is especially unpleasant for us00:10:26
because we feel bad00:10:28
guilt because of guilt we are angry00:10:30
because we are angry we worry about00:10:33
because we're worried about what's wrong with me00:10:35
that's why it's important to be able to tell everything to hell00:10:38
this skill will save us we must come to terms with00:10:42
because everything is wrong in the world and this00:10:44
it's normal because it's always been like this00:10:47
you will always feel like [ __ ]00:10:50
don't give a damn about it, tell yourself yes to me00:10:53
sucks, so what, I'm sorcered00:10:57
circle as if by a wave of a magic wand00:10:59
you stop hating yourself for what00:11:02
you feel bad george orwell said to00:11:04
see what is needed00:11:07
constant effort is a way to get rid of00:11:09
stress and anxiety right in front of your nose and00:11:12
there are and you're too busy looking at the steam room00:11:15
advertisements for strength training equipment and we envy00:11:17
to the one who lured a hot woman into bed00:11:19
blonde with playing cubes on her stomach00:11:21
we make jokes about problems00:11:23
third world but fell victim00:11:25
own success over the past 30 years00:11:28
illnesses from stress, anxiety neuroses and00:11:31
depression began to occur in every00:11:33
step although we all have a flat00:11:35
TV and product delivered to your home00:11:38
our crisis is no longer material and00:11:40
spiritual we have so much junk and00:11:42
possibilities that we are oversaturated00:11:45
every measure according to rumors and managed00:11:47
there is too much for us to see and learn00:11:49
a lot of situations have opened up in which we00:11:51
do not correspond to the ideal or are not enough00:11:54
good or something is missing and that's00:11:56
has been driving us crazy over the past few00:11:59
yo [ __ ] in style how to be happy00:12:02
probably 8 shared on facebook00:12:04
millions of times but that's what no one00:12:06
understands something about all this crap00:12:08
that the desire for a more positive experience00:12:11
in itself a negative experience and no matter how00:12:14
paradoxically00:12:15
accepting negative experiences as positive00:12:17
the experience is mind blowing, take a breath and00:12:20
re-read to wish for a positive experience and00:12:23
that is, accept negative experiences00:12:25
a negative experience is a positive experience00:12:28
the philosopher Alan called it a law00:12:30
reverse force the more you00:12:32
strive to get something the more00:12:34
you get complex because you don’t have what you want00:12:36
than despair you want to be rich so00:12:39
you seem poorer and more unworthy00:12:42
no matter how much money they earn00:12:44
desperation you want to be sexy and00:12:46
the more desirable you look, the more you look00:12:49
in your own eyes no matter what you are00:12:51
actually what despair want to be00:12:54
happy and loved even more00:12:56
you become lonely and scared00:12:58
would not surround you the more you want00:13:01
spiritually be enlightened even more so00:13:03
a base egoist to make out of in attempts00:13:05
gain enlightenment00:13:06
One day I was walking home while on LSD00:13:09
I had the feeling that the farther I00:13:11
I move the further it gets from00:13:13
you see my house, I referred to my00:13:16
hallucinations on LSD to prove it00:13:18
philosophies of thought about happiness and I don't care00:13:20
what do you think of me as I said00:13:23
existential philosopher Albert Camus00:13:25
you've never been under the influence of LSD00:13:28
you won't find happiness if you00:13:30
strive for that which makes happiness00:13:32
you will never taste life if00:13:35
you will search for the meaning of life, one might say00:13:37
oh it's easier don't try knowing that you00:13:41
say it now sounds exciting but00:13:43
what about the mosquito on which I saved up like00:13:46
about the ideal figure for which I00:13:47
I was starving and I paid good money for00:13:50
simulator what about a mansion by the lake00:13:52
which I dream of if I save up for everything00:13:55
it's me who will never achieve anything and I don't00:13:57
I want this to happen right00:13:59
it's good that you asked and you didn't notice00:14:02
sometimes the less you strive for00:14:04
the better you do not00:14:06
noticed that success is often achieved00:14:09
who wanted him less than others00:14:11
Have you noticed that sometimes everything goes wrong?00:14:13
your places when you think yeah don't care00:14:16
but why is this so in the law of reverse force?00:14:19
there is an interesting feature: he doesn't00:14:21
It's called that by accident and it all works out00:14:24
inside out00:14:25
the desire for positivity leads to negativity and00:14:27
on the contrary, pain in the rocking chair brings health00:14:30
influx of strength bumps stuffed in business00:14:32
allows you to better understand how to achieve00:14:34
success open recognition of one's00:14:36
uncertainty makes you more confident and00:14:38
charismatic in communication bitterness open00:14:41
confrontation promotes more00:14:43
trust and respect in relationships look at00:14:45
face your fears and anxieties by allowing00:14:48
become courageous and persistent, no joke00:14:50
The list can be continued for a long time, but00:14:52
you understand me everything in life is worth it00:14:55
strive to be gained through negative00:14:57
experience, any attempts to remove will be avoided00:14:59
strangle, drown out the negativity, they will only give00:15:02
trying to avoid the opposite effect00:15:04
suffering is a form of suffering trying00:15:07
avoiding the fight is the fight of refusal00:15:09
admitting failure is failure hiding00:15:12
shameful in itself shameful pain00:15:15
it is the anchoring thread in the fabric of life00:15:17
It is not only impossible to pull it out, but also00:15:20
It's destructive, you'll stop trying00:15:23
avoiding pain means transmitting and00:15:25
too large a value and, on the contrary, if00:15:27
you will treat her with indifference00:15:30
can't stop00:15:31
in my life I was going crazy because00:15:33
a lot of things but also didn’t care about a lot and00:15:35
something I don't give a damn about as in the stories00:15:38
the road I didn’t take turned out not to be00:15:40
less important than what I tried to do00:15:42
most likely you have at least one00:15:44
an acquaintance who once decided to do something00:15:46
spit and then achieve amazing00:15:48
success possible what happened to you00:15:51
you decided to send everything to hell and then00:15:53
it turned out take me at least00:15:55
having worked in the main profession00:15:57
financier six weeks I left my job00:15:59
and started doing internet business a little when00:16:02
I didn’t give a damn about everything in life, but I remember00:16:04
how I decided to sell more of it00:16:06
property and move to South America they say00:16:09
I saw everything in the coffin, went and did these00:16:11
moments of daring determine our lives00:16:13
most of all a drastic job change00:16:16
spontaneous decision to quit college and00:16:18
join a rock band, give an idea00:16:20
turn-up, surprise your boyfriend00:16:21
whom you have seen more than once in your00:16:23
tights to be able to spit means to look00:16:26
in the face of the most difficult and dangerous challenge and00:16:29
act at first glance don't care00:16:31
lighter than that actually it's a whole00:16:34
burrito bag with I don't know what filling00:16:37
this expression means but I don't care00:16:38
a burrito bag is always handy00:16:40
most of us spend our whole lives giving00:16:43
mental strength to things that are not00:16:45
We're driving them crazy because of the operator00:16:47
gas station who gave out change in small change00:16:49
we freak them out when he cancels his beloved one00:16:51
TV show we freak them out when colleagues00:16:54
don't ask how we spent ours00:16:55
amazing weekend meanwhile expired00:16:58
credit card deadline dog you00:17:00
hates teenage son inhaled meth00:17:02
in the toilet and we are on edge because of some00:17:05
coins and the canceled series everyone loves00:17:07
Raymond look how it works00:17:09
one day you will die I know it's obvious but00:17:12
just in case, let me remind you in case you forgot00:17:15
and all the people you know will die soon00:17:18
in the short time remaining you will have time00:17:20
take care of a little very little00:17:23
if you're going to freak out about everyone00:17:26
you have to know how to freak out about it00:17:28
it is precisely the ability to not give a damn that is possible00:17:31
sounds funny and I look like an idiot but...00:17:33
essentially this is what we need to learn00:17:36
do not scatter and concentrate your thoughts00:17:38
sign the main thing is to learn to understand that00:17:41
you personally value most and then00:17:44
lime hard screening is incredible00:17:47
difficult, it can take years of trying and00:17:49
efforts and there will be many failures but maybe00:17:52
there will be no more important efforts at all00:17:54
exists and one way or another everything leads to it00:17:56
comes down to because when you don't give yourself00:17:59
peace does not leave you because of everything00:18:01
feeling that you deserve permanent00:18:04
happiness and bliss and that everything should00:18:06
be it your way but it's not great and it's00:18:09
will eat you alive any attack you will00:18:12
perceive anything as unfair00:18:14
call as unsuccessful any inconvenience as00:18:17
disrespect for one's person and any00:18:19
you see disagreement as betrayal00:18:22
yourself in a pathetic way destroyed amada where will you be00:18:24
burn into self-importance of confidence that you00:18:27
everyone will have to run around for something00:18:29
the vicious circle of forever being in00:18:31
moving and not getting anywhere subtle00:18:34
art doesn't care when the majority00:18:38
people hear about the ability to not give a damn00:18:40
imagine themselves as a person who00:18:42
his calm serenity is of no concern00:18:44
what storms of life they imagine00:18:46
a subject who cannot be penetrated by anything and cannot be00:18:49
once you move but you know what it’s called00:18:51
a person who does not show emotions00:18:53
psychopath doesn't see the point in anything00:18:55
I don't think you have the slightest desire00:18:57
becoming a psychopath so what does it mean00:19:00
be able to give a damn let's consider three subtleties00:19:03
which will clarify the situation00:19:04
subtlety is the first ability to not give a damn00:19:07
means indifference is a skill00:19:10
there is no remaining indifferent to others00:19:13
nothing amazing or worthy00:19:15
people are indifferent, pathetic, inadequate00:19:18
couch vegetables internet trolls00:19:20
indifferent people are often only00:19:21
pretend to be indifferent because in00:19:23
deep down they don't give a damn and00:19:26
I don't care what people think about them00:19:28
hair so they don't wash it and00:19:30
They practically don’t comb my hair either00:19:32
don't care what people think about their ideas00:19:33
so don't hide behind sarcasm and00:19:36
with arrogant jokes they are afraid that00:19:39
someone will come close to them therefore00:19:41
imagines himself as specially fragile00:19:43
creatures whose problems no one can understand00:19:45
under the power of indifferent people are afraid of the world and00:19:48
the consequences of your own choice00:19:50
why don't they do more or less00:19:52
meaningful choice they hide in the gray00:19:55
and a soulless pit that are to themselves00:19:57
dug up absorbed with themselves and pitying00:19:59
themselves and always run away from this annoying00:20:02
things that require time and effort and00:20:04
called life because you know what00:20:07
bastard doesn't really care00:20:09
impossible you must have something before00:20:12
why do you care, it's physiological00:20:15
the need to always worry about something00:20:17
and treat with care00:20:18
So the question is what do we not need00:20:21
I don't care what choice we make and how00:20:24
don't care what happens in the end00:20:26
no matter recently my mother cheated00:20:29
fished out money and be a close friend00:20:32
indifferent, I would shrug my shoulders and take a sip00:20:34
mocha and loaded the next season00:20:35
wiretapping sorry mom and I was outraged00:20:39
was furious I said to hell with two mom we00:20:42
we go to a lawyer and look for a way to take this00:20:44
bastard by the throat why yes because00:20:47
I don’t care about opinion, I’ll destroy the bastard00:20:49
life if necessary and so subtlety00:20:51
number one when we say mark manson00:20:54
knows how to give a damn and we don’t have to score00:20:56
considering that the manson brand is on everything00:20:58
light bulbs we mean something else, he doesn’t care00:21:01
that on the way to his goals they are waiting00:21:03
trouble or annoy someone00:21:06
actions that he considers right00:21:08
important and worthy we mean mark00:21:11
Manson is the kind of person who will write about00:21:13
to yourself in the third person just because00:21:15
they will think it’s right and don’t care about him00:21:17
someone else's opinion, this is what you can do00:21:19
admire me but not me stupid00:21:21
overcoming difficulties00:21:23
willingness to be yourself to be an outcast00:21:26
and the guy in the name of his values00:21:28
willingness to face failure and00:21:30
give them the middle finger to admire00:21:33
people who don't care about difficulties and00:21:35
failures are not afraid to get awkward00:21:37
position don't be afraid to fold a few00:21:39
since people who laugh do what00:21:42
believe they do because they think it’s right00:21:45
such people know there are more important things00:21:47
than themselves and their feelings, their pride and00:21:50
them him they don’t care not yes everything in a row to them00:21:53
they don’t care about what’s unimportant00:21:55
your nerves for what is truly important for00:21:58
family friends burrito goals one two00:22:01
lawsuits but because they00:22:03
save their nerves only for big and00:22:04
people around you won’t care about significant things00:22:07
on themselves and here’s another trick you don’t have00:22:10
will be able to play an important key role00:22:12
for some people without becoming a laughing stock and00:22:14
you simply won’t be able to become a hindrance to others00:22:17
because resistance always exists00:22:19
always, as they say, wherever you go00:22:22
1 this applies to hardships and failures wherever00:22:25
you didn't go there's a huge pile waiting for you00:22:28
crap and this is the norm and the task is not00:22:30
to escape from the [ __ ] it consists of00:22:33
is to find the [ __ ] with which00:22:35
you will enjoy dealing subtlety 200:22:38
in order not to worry about adversity you need00:22:40
worry about more important things00:22:42
Let's say you're standing in line at a store.00:22:44
in front of you the old lady makes noise at the cashier00:22:46
who didn't accept her 30 cent coupon00:22:49
and why is she so worried because it’s just00:22:51
I'll tell you why for 30 cents00:22:54
a woman has nothing better to do than sit00:22:57
home and cut out coupons she's old00:22:59
lonely and and children are idiots who never00:23:02
she doesn't get sex and she didn't have 3000:23:04
she can't pass gas for years00:23:06
experiencing severe pain in the lower back and00:23:08
the pension is not tiny and she will die in00:23:10
in diapers imagining yourself in a fairy tale00:23:12
the country has to cut more coupons00:23:15
there's nothing just her and the damn coupons00:23:18
she doesn't worry about anything anymore00:23:20
because she has nothing else to worry about00:23:22
and when the 17-year-old cashier turned00:23:25
refuses to take the coupon and defend00:23:27
the inviolability of his braid with that00:23:29
with what courage the knights defended00:23:31
Granny's sweetheart's virginity00:23:33
may not explode 80 years of hassle00:23:36
falls on the unfortunate person like fire00:23:38
squall and in my time people showed00:23:41
more respect and continue in the same spirit00:23:43
the trouble is with people who are generous with their worries00:23:46
like a summer day on a popsicle is00:23:49
that they have nothing better to do but if you00:23:52
you will worry about all sorts of nonsense00:23:54
new photos of ex-boyfriend on Facebook00:23:56
longevity of the batteries on the remote control and00:23:58
buying two hand gels for the price of one00:24:00
life will no longer have room for00:24:02
excitement for a serious reason and this00:24:05
the real problem is not the hand gel and00:24:07
TV remote control00:24:08
I heard one artist say that when00:24:11
a person has no problems, his mind invents them00:24:14
in my opinion the majority of them especially00:24:16
educated Alena middle class white00:24:18
considers people vital ble mama00:24:20
the usual consequence of the fact that they do not have00:24:22
more important issues to worry about00:24:24
means to find something important and meaningful in00:24:27
life is the most productive way00:24:29
use your time and energy because if you don't00:24:32
you will find such a meaningful activity00:24:34
destroy your nerves for empty reasons and00:24:37
lightweight subtlety number three you realize00:24:41
whether you like it or not depends on you what it's about00:24:43
worry00:24:44
the ability to spit is not innate, I am born and00:24:47
we saw with the opposite quality00:24:50
how heart-rendingly a child cries when he has00:24:52
Panama hat is the wrong shade of blue00:24:55
exactly, why the hell with the baby when we00:24:57
young everything around is new and exciting and00:25:00
everything seems important, so we're freaking them out00:25:03
every step we are on nerves and for everything and00:25:06
everything that people tell us will they call us00:25:09
cool guy cool girl will succeed00:25:11
whether to pick up a second sock for the pair or00:25:13
what color will the balloon be on00:25:15
birthday then we get older00:25:17
and more experienced we notice that a lot of time00:25:20
gone to waste and most of these things are not00:25:23
have had a lasting impact on our00:25:25
people valued their fate than their opinions00:25:28
love failures have disappeared from our lives00:25:30
who caused pain turned out to be00:25:33
for the best we also create no matter how little00:25:35
people spend time on unimportant things00:25:37
details of our lives and we decide not00:25:39
we are essentially freaking out about these things00:25:42
we become selective regarding00:25:44
what to worry about is called00:25:47
maturity, by the way, try something useful00:25:49
quality comes when you learn00:25:52
worry only about things that00:25:54
they deserve it, as Bank Marlan said00:25:57
to his partner Detective McCartney in00:26:00
wiretap which I don't care about yours00:26:02
I'm still looking at what happens when00:26:04
you don't give a damn, although it would be better if you didn't give a damn00:26:07
when we get even older and00:26:09
reach middle age begin00:26:11
change something else decreasing stock00:26:14
energy strengthens our identity00:26:17
we know who we are and accept ourselves00:26:19
all the advantages and disadvantages and how00:26:22
Strangely enough, it’s liberating; it’s no longer necessary00:26:24
worry about everything in life00:26:27
whoever it is, we accept it with everyone00:26:30
we are aware of its warts00:26:33
we will never cure cancer, we will not fly to00:26:35
the moon and we won't feel Jennifer's tits00:26:37
aniston oh well life goes on00:26:40
but I don’t care about the more important part00:26:42
our life, a family of best friends and a pig in00:26:45
golf and to our amazement00:26:48
enough everything becomes easier and this00:26:51
brings lasting satisfaction and we00:26:53
we're starting to think maybe that crazy Bukowski00:26:55
I was right about something, don’t try that00:26:58
this book damn it this book00:27:01
will help you figure out what00:27:03
consider what is truly important in life and what00:27:06
We don’t think it’s important at all and live in00:27:08
times of psychological epidemic people00:27:11
forgot that failure is when things don't go well00:27:13
it may seem ok00:27:15
manifestations of intellectual laziness but00:27:17
right, it’s a matter of life and death because00:27:20
when we believe that everything and everyone should00:27:22
be ok we subconsciously starting00:27:24
we blame ourselves, we think that we are something00:27:27
wrong and starts with fish people00:27:29
buy forty pairs of shoes00:27:32
Xanax with vodka on Tuesday night or00:27:34
shoot up a school bus with children00:27:36
the belief that everything should be fine00:27:38
often leads a person to the circle of hell in00:27:41
a vicious circle from which to get out00:27:43
more and more people cannot, but they must00:27:45
be able to not give a damn to rebuild life00:27:48
waiting and understanding what is important and what is not00:27:50
the development of this skill leads to its00:27:53
kind of practical enlightenment I don't00:27:55
I mean fabulously beautiful eternal00:27:57
this is bliss and the end of all suffering00:28:00
I'm not interested in [ __ ] right now00:28:02
practical enlightenment is a skill00:28:05
accept that suffering is inevitable00:28:08
no matter what you do life will be00:28:10
from failures and losses, regrets and deaths and00:28:13
when will you put up with this [ __ ]00:28:14
what life throws at you, believe me00:28:17
she throws kilotons of crap at you00:28:20
you will find your moderate spiritual harmony00:28:22
you will become invincible00:28:24
in the end the only way00:28:26
overcome suffering learn to endure00:28:29
his this book will not reduce your victories and00:28:32
problems I won't even try00:28:34
you see I'm honest with you and she's to greatness00:28:37
will not lead and cannot lead00:28:38
because the greatness of this illusion of the mind00:28:41
a completely far-fetched goal and our personal00:28:43
psychological atlantis but a book00:28:46
will show you how to turn your pain into a weapon00:28:48
your injury due to your problems in a little00:28:52
More pleasant problems than no progress00:28:55
let it be a guide to creating00:28:57
the ability to see the meaning in it to endure it00:29:00
with great compassion and humility this00:29:03
a book about the ability to live easily in spite of00:29:05
heavy burden about the ability to relax00:29:07
despite strong fears about skill00:29:09
laugh at tears even when there are still tears00:29:11
don't dry out this book will teach you00:29:14
letting go and leaving rather than receiving and00:29:16
achieve she will teach you to reach00:29:19
look at your whole life and remove unnecessary00:29:21
anxiety she will teach you to close your eyes and00:29:23
fall on your back into the void and stay00:29:26
In general, she will teach you to worry less00:29:28
she will teach you not to try chapter 200:29:32
fortunately this problem is about two s00:29:35
half a thousand years ago at the foot of00:29:37
Himalayas in what is now Nepal00:29:39
there was a large palace in which the king lived and00:29:42
the king's son was born, the king dreamed of let life00:29:46
his son will be cloudless let him00:29:48
let him never know suffering00:29:50
every need is satisfied and00:29:52
the king raised every desire around00:29:55
the palace has high walls so that the prince does not00:29:57
he knew about events in the world around him00:29:59
spoiled the child and rained down on him00:30:01
delicacies and gifts surrounded by servants00:30:04
who indulged his every whim and00:30:06
everything went according to plan, the child grew up with no idea00:30:09
having about the everyday cravings of the human00:30:11
existence this is how my entire childhood passed00:30:13
prince but despite the limitless00:30:16
wealth and abundance00:30:17
life has ceased to please the young man any00:30:20
the new experience seemed empty and00:30:21
meaningless00:30:22
after all, so that the father does not give this to his son00:30:25
it turned out it didn't matter much00:30:27
One night the principle slipped out00:30:29
palace, he wanted to know what was going on behind00:30:32
walls for the first time in his life the prince saw00:30:34
human suffering saw the sick00:30:37
elderly homeless people suffering and00:30:39
the dying prince returned to the palace he00:30:42
experienced a crisis that we would call00:30:44
existential, not knowing how he should feel now00:30:46
maybe the prince began to worry and00:30:48
complaining about everything is so common00:30:50
to young people he blamed his father for the fact that he00:30:53
I tried to do it for my son00:30:55
wealth duma prince made him00:30:56
unhappy and his life was empty and he decided00:30:59
run but the prince was more like his father00:31:01
than I thought he also had great ideas00:31:04
he will not just run away, he will refuse00:31:06
royal title from the family from every00:31:09
property and will live on the streets00:31:11
will crawl out to sleep like an animal until the end00:31:13
life he would starve, endure hardships and00:31:16
eat other people's leftovers the next night00:31:19
the prince slipped out of the palace again this00:31:21
never to return for years00:31:24
he lived like a beggar and a forgotten outcast00:31:26
turned into dog [ __ ]00:31:28
social totem pole everything went along00:31:30
the plans of suffering were great prince00:31:33
He endured illness, hunger and loneliness00:31:36
almost died often limiting himself00:31:38
one nut a day has passed several years00:31:40
and then a few more and then nothing00:31:44
happened the prince began to notice that life00:31:46
suffering is not what he thinks he is00:31:48
conceived it did not bring insight about00:31:50
which he dreamed of, she did not open it00:31:52
the deepest secret of the world is not its ultimate00:31:54
goals, moreover, the prince realized that00:31:57
most of us have always known00:31:59
suffering is a worthless thing and there is no point in00:32:02
there is little value in it not only00:32:04
wealth and and no and suffering when she00:32:07
aimlessly, the prince finally came to the conclusion00:32:09
his great idea as well as his great idea00:32:12
the father turned out to be a dummy, we need to look for him00:32:14
the other way is completely confused prince00:32:17
washed up, went on the road and found00:32:19
a large tree by the river, he decided that he would sit00:32:22
this tree won't stand until it's gone00:32:24
will visit another great idea according to00:32:27
legend, a confused prince sat under00:32:29
tree 49 days we will not go deeper00:32:31
the question is whether it is possible to00:32:32
biological point of view so that a person00:32:34
asked for 49 days in one place let's say00:32:37
the prince had just finally realized a number of00:32:39
important things one of them was00:32:41
next life itself is a form of suffering00:32:44
The poor suffer more because of their wealth00:32:47
lonely people suffer due to poverty00:32:49
suffer because they have no family00:32:52
family people suffer due to problems in00:32:54
family people seeking worldly pleasures00:32:56
people suffer because of worldly pleasures00:33:00
abstain from worldly pleasures00:33:01
suffer from abstinence00:33:03
not that all suffering is the same00:33:06
there is glad no more painful less00:33:08
painful and but one way or another we all00:33:10
must suffer after years prince00:33:13
create your own philosophy and tell00:33:15
they are the world and here is the first and central00:33:17
the thought of this philosophy is pain and loss00:33:20
are inevitable and should not be resisted00:33:23
subsequently00:33:24
the prince will be known as buddha00:33:26
just in case you haven't heard of00:33:28
he was a great man00:33:30
there is a premise that underlies00:33:32
many of our ideas and beliefs00:33:34
is that happiness is possible00:33:36
algorithmize difficult to find00:33:38
making money is like going to law school00:33:40
faculty or assemble a complex00:33:42
drain design if I reach x I00:33:45
I'll be happy if I look like00:33:47
y I will be happy if I z I will00:33:50
happy but this is the premise00:33:52
the main problem because happiness is not00:33:55
mathematical equation you need00:33:56
resolve dissatisfaction or anxiety00:33:59
are the inescapable elements of nature and how00:34:01
we will see they are necessarily components00:34:04
stable happiness the buddha proved it00:34:07
from the point of view of theology and philosophy00:34:09
further I will talk about the same thing but with00:34:11
from the point of view of biology, first of all, we00:34:14
pandas will help00:34:15
misadventure of panda disappointment if only00:34:19
I could make it up super heroes of the sky made it up00:34:21
panda disappointment he would wear funny00:34:24
mask around the eyes and a T-shirt with a large00:34:26
the letter t is too small for him00:34:28
abdomen and his superpower would be00:34:31
that he told people the harsh truth00:34:33
about them, necessary but not desired, he would go00:34:37
door to door as a distributor00:34:39
the Bible and would call the residents and talk to00:34:41
unpleasant things like big profits00:34:44
will help you feel better but00:34:46
children won't love you for this or if you00:34:48
ask yourself whether you trust your00:34:50
You probably don’t trust your wife or something00:34:53
you call friendship only constants00:34:56
attempts to impress others then he00:34:59
I would wish the tenant a good day and take his time00:35:01
went to the next house it was00:35:03
would be amazing and hard and sad and00:35:06
life-affirming and necessary and in the end00:35:08
finally listen to the greatest truth00:35:10
the most unpleasant thing is that no one wants00:35:12
meet such a panda but he is necessary00:35:15
to most of us his words would be00:35:17
like fresh vegetables against the backdrop of those00:35:19
mental canned food to consume00:35:21
he portal would be our mood but would do00:35:24
life is better, it would make us stronger00:35:27
striking to the very heart and illuminating00:35:29
bright future showing darkness listen00:35:31
its like watching a movie in which the hero00:35:33
will die in the end it's hard for you but you understand00:35:36
how realistic everything is and you can’t00:35:38
break away and if so let me00:35:40
put on a panda mask of disappointment and00:35:42
we will give you unpleasant news00:35:45
we suffer for the simple reason that00:35:46
suffering is biologically useful with its00:35:50
with the help of nature forces us to change00:35:52
This is how evolution has created us, we have always been00:35:55
living with dissatisfaction and00:35:57
anxiety because moderate00:35:59
dissatisfied and restless creature00:36:01
makes every effort to create00:36:04
innovate and survive that's how we are built00:36:06
we feel dissatisfied with everything00:36:09
that we have only satisfaction00:36:11
from what is not there it is constant00:36:14
dissatisfaction forced our appearance00:36:16
fight and fight build and00:36:18
conquering our pain and misfortune is not00:36:21
the failure of human evolution is hers00:36:23
feature suffering in all its forms00:36:26
the body's most effective way00:36:28
stimulate action let's take a trivial00:36:31
example let's say you stubbed your toe00:36:33
if you are like me then with this00:36:36
you say out loud the words from which00:36:38
Pope Francis would cry and probably00:36:40
blame your pain on some poor person00:36:42
soulless object stupid table00:36:44
you may exclaim, maybe the field is sick00:36:46
make you doubt the concept00:36:48
interior design what idiot installed00:36:50
table for this place what nonsense but I00:36:53
strayed from the topic: severe pain in the ears00:36:55
pancakes fingers that are so disliked and00:36:57
you and me and Pope Francis exist according to00:37:00
one simple reason is physical pain00:37:02
is a product of the nervous system mechanism00:37:05
feedback allowing us00:37:06
find out where to go and where00:37:09
you can't touch anything00:37:11
what is not allowed as soon as we go beyond these00:37:13
limits the nervous system punishes us00:37:16
so that we are vigilant and no longer00:37:18
violated the border we hate pain but00:37:21
it is useful, it calls us to attention00:37:23
when she is young or inattentive00:37:26
helps us understand what is good for us and what00:37:28
bad she helps to see ours00:37:30
limitation to explore them she teaches us00:37:33
stay away from hot stoves and00:37:35
stick metal objects into00:37:36
electrical sockets therefore00:37:38
prefer more pleasure not00:37:40
always useful sometimes the pain is so00:37:42
important for our well-being what is it00:37:44
a matter of life and death, but there is no pain00:37:47
just physically ask anyone who00:37:50
survived 1 star wars prequel we the people00:37:52
capable of experiencing acute00:37:54
psychological suffering moreover00:37:57
study showed our brain does not see00:37:59
big difference between more physical and00:38:01
psychological00:38:02
let's say I tell you that I feel like00:38:04
an ice pick was driven into my heart, I found out that00:38:07
my friend cheated on me maybe I did00:38:09
I actually felt pain no less than from00:38:11
ice pick slowly in the soot nova in the heart00:38:12
like physical pain, psychological00:38:15
pain indicates imbalance and00:38:18
going beyond certain boundaries and the like00:38:20
physical pain psychological pain not00:38:22
always bad or not even desirable in00:38:25
in some cases experience00:38:26
emotional or psychological pain00:38:28
normal necessary so bruised00:38:31
the finger makes you think where you are going00:38:32
emotional pain is also caused by rejection00:38:35
or failure teaches how not to step on00:38:37
the same rake in the future that's what00:38:39
dangerous in a pampered society which is everything00:38:42
more and more closes from00:38:43
we lose the inevitable discomfort of life00:38:45
the benefits of a healthy dose of pain and that loss00:38:48
disrupts our connection to reality00:38:49
the world around you may make your mouth water00:38:52
at the thought of a problem-free life, complete00:38:54
eternal happiness and compassion however00:38:57
here on earth problems are inevitable for me too00:39:00
it may be the end, I looked at the light00:39:02
panda disappointment we took a sip of cocktail00:39:05
barking at the junction and he told me all the problems00:39:07
doesn't go anywhere and said problems00:39:10
can only become more pleasant than the problems with00:39:12
money there is crow buffy that is they and00:39:15
A drunken homeless man has nouba food00:39:17
It’s more pleasant and this is what life’s whole life is like00:39:20
there is an endless series of problems in life00:39:23
an endless series of problems Mark said00:39:25
panda he pulled up a cocktail and00:39:27
straightened a small pink umbrella00:39:29
by solving one problem you only create00:39:31
the other I was silent and then asked where from00:39:34
did he come from a talking panda and where did he come from?00:39:36
I took a cocktail, I don’t expect to live without00:39:39
problems said panda it doesn't exist00:39:41
I hope for a better life full of good things00:39:44
he raised problems with these words00:39:46
glass on the table, adjusted his sombrero and left00:39:49
at sunset00:39:50
happiness from solving problems problems is00:39:53
vital constant to tighten up00:39:56
physical form you sign up00:39:58
gym but thereby creating00:40:00
new problems need to be allocated time for00:40:02
sports and getting up early and even before00:40:05
a very sweat on the exercise machine and even00:40:07
wash and change clothes so as not to stink00:40:09
for the whole office or let's say such a problem00:40:11
you spend little time with your wife00:40:14
decide that you will be together on Wednesdays00:40:15
go to a restaurant but it's a headache again00:40:18
pain where to go so that both feel good00:40:20
where can I get money for decent food?00:40:23
bring back the lost spark in a relationship00:40:25
and how to fit two people into a small bathtub with00:40:27
too much foam00:40:29
the problem is not excised, they just change00:40:32
or reach a new level00:40:33
happiness comes from solving problems00:40:36
the key word here is solution if you00:40:39
run away from problems or believe that you have00:40:41
you are not there you will be unhappy if you00:40:44
you think that your problem is not solved and00:40:45
you were also unhappy, so that's the trick00:40:48
they are simple in solving problems00:40:51
having them solved is the way to happiness00:40:54
happiness is a form of action activity00:40:57
it does not come by itself and does not00:40:59
appears magically in hot00:41:00
dozens of articles due to the huffington post or00:41:03
advice from some guru or teacher she00:41:05
does not come by magic00:41:07
sticks when you have00:41:08
enough money to add to the house00:41:10
one more room she's not waiting for you00:41:12
some specific place or00:41:14
a certain idea for a job or even a book00:41:17
happiness is constant work because it is a decision00:41:20
problems are constant work and answers to00:41:23
today's problems lay the foundation00:41:25
for tomorrow's problems genuine00:41:27
happiness comes only when you find00:41:29
problems that you like to have and00:41:31
sometimes these problems are easy to solve00:41:35
buy quality food travel00:41:37
new video games to play and win00:41:39
sometimes these problems are abstract and complex00:41:42
improve relations with mother find00:41:44
work to your liking strengthen friendship no matter what00:41:47
no matter the problems, the essence is the same and00:41:49
solve them and be happy if you00:41:51
it was all just a matter of inhaling your feet00:41:54
the fact that people often complicate their lives00:41:56
one of two ways00:41:57
first denial sometimes people deny00:42:00
that they have problems and because they00:42:03
they refuse to face the facts00:42:05
must constantly deceive themselves and00:42:06
escape from reality for a while00:42:09
improves general condition00:42:10
but ultimately leads to a feeling00:42:13
vulnerability to neuroses and emotional00:42:15
suppression second psychology of the victim00:42:18
some believe that their problem is00:42:20
in principle cannot be solved even if00:42:23
that's not how they try to blame their00:42:25
problems of other people or external00:42:27
circumstances00:42:28
again, this improves the condition for a while00:42:31
but ultimately leads to00:42:32
irritability, helplessness and00:42:34
people are desperate and don't want to see problems00:42:36
or blame others for them one by one00:42:39
for a simple reason it’s nice and easier00:42:41
in all, solving the problem is difficult and00:42:43
often unpleasant and so immediately00:42:46
this is the way to improve your mood00:42:48
temporarily get rid of the problem quickly00:42:50
feel relieved to achieve00:42:52
relief can be done in different ways, this and00:42:55
drinking and feeling right00:42:57
it occurs when you blame other people00:42:59
and delight in the new risky00:43:01
adventures, however, they are not all00:43:04
the best and not the most productive way00:43:06
manage your life in the meantime00:43:08
most of the manuals00:43:09
self-improvement00:43:10
they offer a psychological drug00:43:12
advice to face problems like this00:43:15
gurus teach new forms of escape from00:43:17
reality and pump you up with exercises00:43:19
which acts only as a temporary00:43:21
analgesic remember no one00:43:24
who really won't be happy00:43:26
hang out in front of the mirror and convince yourself00:43:27
that he is happy and also appears like this00:43:30
addictive the more you rely on00:43:32
a way to escape from deep-seated problems00:43:35
the stronger the need for00:43:37
blackouts and almost anything can become00:43:39
drug addiction depending on motive00:43:41
we all have uses00:43:43
favorite way to dull the pain00:43:44
when doses are moderate there is nothing wrong with00:43:47
no, but the longer we run from00:43:49
reality and swallow painkillers00:43:51
painful will be the collision with00:43:53
true00:43:54
the role of emotions exaggerate emotions00:43:58
appeared in the course of evolution with a certain00:44:00
goal to help us live better and00:44:02
reproduce that's all the mechanism00:44:05
feedback they report that not that00:44:08
good or bad for us00:44:10
no more no less than pain from00:44:12
touching a hot stove teaches00:44:14
don't touch something hot so much pain00:44:16
loneliness teaches me to do things that00:44:18
contributed to loneliness emotions00:44:21
only biological signals are called upon00:44:22
push for positive change is not00:44:25
think I'm taking things lightly00:44:27
your midlife crisis or00:44:29
the fact that a drunken father stole your00:44:31
bicycle when you were eight years old00:44:33
you still can't get over the theft00:44:36
it sucks, just remember that00:44:38
the brain tells you that there is some problem00:44:40
you still left unattended and they00:44:42
solved in other words negative emotions00:44:45
this is a call to action they show you00:44:48
have to do something and vice versa00:44:50
positive emotions are a reward for00:44:52
the right actions when you are experiencing00:44:55
their life seems simple, live for yourself00:44:57
rejoice but then positive emotions like00:45:00
everything else goes away because it’s inevitable00:45:02
new problems arise00:45:04
You can’t reduce everything in life to emotions if00:45:08
nothing that improves your mood, it's not yet00:45:10
means she's good and if not what00:45:12
ruins the mood, it doesn't mean that00:45:14
she is bad emotions are not commandments but only00:45:17
signs and hints that our00:45:19
neurobiology they should not be trusted00:45:22
always moreover, it’s better to visit them more often00:45:24
doubt about various personal social00:45:27
and cultural reasons many people are taught00:45:29
suppress emotions, especially negative ones00:45:32
suppressing negative emotions means00:45:34
suppress feedback mechanisms00:45:36
which helps solve problems in00:45:39
as a result, many people who lead00:45:41
They can’t cope with themselves like this for the rest of their lives.00:45:43
problems and because they can't00:45:45
they can't cope with problems and happiness00:45:47
see remember pain makes sense however00:45:51
there are those who give unnecessary meaning00:45:53
to their emotions, for them emotions justify00:45:56
that's it, I broke the windshield in yours00:45:59
car but did you piss me off or yes00:46:02
I left college and moved to Alaska here00:46:04
I just wanted a solution though00:46:06
based only on emotional00:46:08
intuition is almost always on the mind00:46:10
erroneous, you know who builds their whole life on00:46:12
emotions of three-year-old children and dogs and00:46:15
you know what else three year olds do and00:46:18
dogs [ __ ] on the carpet fixation on00:46:21
emotions and absorption leads me to00:46:24
one simple reason emotion00:46:26
what parts bring is short-lived00:46:28
today will not bring happiness tomorrow00:46:30
because our biology always needs00:46:32
something more fixated on happiness00:46:35
takes you away in search of something else new00:46:38
home or new relationships00:46:40
one child and a salary increase but00:46:42
despite all the efforts00:46:44
ends with one thing we feel again00:46:47
dissatisfaction psychologists sometimes00:46:49
calls it hedonic treadmill00:46:50
path we all work hard to00:46:53
change life another situation but a feeling00:46:56
it doesn’t change much from life, that’s why00:46:58
the problem comes back and they are inevitable00:47:00
the person you are marrying00:47:02
this is the person with whom you are quarreling at home00:47:05
the house you are buying is the one whose house00:47:07
renovate your dream job source00:47:10
your stress every time you have to00:47:12
sacrifice what makes us feel00:47:14
good is what makes us feel00:47:17
feeling bad what we gain is what00:47:20
that we will lose what ours creates00:47:22
positive experience will determine both ours and00:47:24
negative experience is a bitter pill to swallow00:47:26
we like the idea that we can just00:47:29
we like to achieve happiness forever00:47:31
the idea that you can feel forever00:47:33
accomplished and satisfied with life00:47:36
unfortunately you can't choose what for00:47:38
fight if I ask you what are you00:47:40
what you want from life and you will answer what you want00:47:43
be happy to have a good family and00:47:45
work to your liking, your answer will be so00:47:47
unoriginal and unpredictable00:47:49
it won't make much sense to everyone00:47:51
I like it when everything is good and everyone wants it00:47:54
lead him carefree and happy00:47:55
life of grace falling in love at will00:47:57
have sex have good children00:47:59
look perfect make great money00:48:02
to be popular respected loved and00:48:04
so cool that people will00:48:06
part before him like red00:48:08
the sea in front of Moses everyone wants it00:48:12
walking is easy but if the question is more interesting00:48:14
which most people don't know about00:48:15
wondering what kind of pain you would like in00:48:18
in life what would you want to fight for00:48:21
this largely determines00:48:23
the nature of our life for example00:48:25
most people want to have a solid00:48:27
office and shovel money00:48:30
but not everyone wants to work 10 hours00:48:32
hours a day for a long time to get to00:48:34
work and back messing around with duck00:48:36
ribbons and endure the arbitrariness of the authorities00:48:38
to someday break out into a new one00:48:40
standard of living most want00:48:42
passionate sex and deep relationships but00:48:45
not everyone wants in the name of this00:48:47
go through difficult conversations and00:48:48
awkward silences, hurt feelings and00:48:51
emotional psychodramas, these are the people and00:48:53
sit back, sit and dream, but00:48:56
It would take years anyway, but eventually it appears00:48:59
thought they'll try something else00:49:02
the case ends with lawyers and a check for00:49:05
alimony in the mailbox and what kind of support is there?00:49:08
prospects yes everything could be different if00:49:10
If only they had lowered the bar 20 years ago00:49:13
standards and expectations for happiness00:49:15
requires struggle, it grows out of problems00:49:18
she does not suddenly appear from the ground like00:49:20
daisy and rainbow genuine serious00:49:23
long-term self-fulfillment and meaning00:49:25
are acquired through constant choice in00:49:27
the benefits of fighting no matter what you suffer from00:49:29
anxiety loneliness00:49:32
obsessive-compulsive syndrome or00:49:34
goat boss who poisons everything00:49:36
life at work the solution is00:49:38
recognition of difficulties and active search00:49:40
solutions and turning a blind eye to problems00:49:42
running away from them doesn't bode well00:49:44
people want to have a good figure but so do we00:49:47
she won't be seen if they don't learn00:49:49
count calories and cut yourself in00:49:51
food appreciate pain and physical stress00:49:54
people spend hours laying out in the gym00:49:57
want to start their own business but also for me00:50:00
become successful entrepreneurs if00:50:02
they will learn to appreciate risk00:50:03
uncertainty repeated failures and00:50:06
spending countless hours on a project00:50:08
which may give absolutely nothing00:50:10
people want to find a spouse partner00:50:13
spouse but also for me to find a reliable couple00:50:15
if they are not ready for emotional00:50:17
splash due to serious breakdowns and00:50:19
accumulated sexual tension and00:50:22
to the point that they will sit and stupidly00:50:23
look at the phone which still doesn't work00:50:25
it rings, it's part of the game of love and who doesn't00:50:28
plays he does not win in other words00:50:30
if you want success stop00:50:33
ask yourself what I want to enjoy00:50:35
ask another question what pain and me00:50:38
to my liking the road to happiness is paved00:50:41
embarrassing failures and piles of crap00:50:42
we must choose a life without suffering00:50:45
sometimes analysis is made up of roses and unicorns00:50:48
I'm glad it's all clear00:50:50
most of us want the same thing00:50:51
the more interesting question is suffering on00:50:55
what kind of suffering are you willing to go through exactly00:50:57
this difficult question matters00:50:59
he is the one who can lead somewhere00:51:01
change your point of view and throughout your life he00:51:04
makes me me about you with you he00:51:06
defines us and divides us and in00:51:09
ultimately brings together most of00:51:11
in my youth and youth I dreamed of becoming00:51:14
a musician even a rock star every time00:51:17
better some stupid song to00:51:18
guitar I closed my eyes and imagined myself00:51:21
on stage here I am performing it to the roar of the crowd00:51:24
and people go crazy listening to the melody00:51:27
which flows from under my fingers into these00:51:29
moments I could immerse myself for hours00:51:31
and without even asking myself the question, will I00:51:34
I perform in front of applauding audiences00:51:35
the only question was when everything happened00:51:38
just a little planning is needed00:51:40
wait until the opportunity arises00:51:42
take the bull by the horns and leave your mark00:51:44
in music let's say first you have to finish00:51:47
school then save money for equipment00:51:50
then find free time for00:51:51
exercises00:51:52
then make acquaintances and make up00:51:55
first project but nothing came of it00:51:58
I dreamed about this but it’s reality00:52:00
turned out to be different and I didn’t immediately00:52:03
only after much mental effort00:52:05
I realized why I really don't00:52:07
I wanted I liked the result00:52:10
imagine on stage as00:52:12
rocking out to the screams of the crowd, I put my soul into it00:52:14
into a melody but by no means a process00:52:17
why couldn't I do anything?00:52:19
managed new again but I'm lying00:52:21
the attempts were so pathetic that even00:52:24
failures and there is no need to mention them00:52:26
we can’t call it attempts00:52:27
practicing every day is work for00:52:30
wear and tear and then you still have to look for a group00:52:32
rehearse to come up with a place for00:52:34
speeches and how to first attract but also00:52:36
people and then pique their interest00:52:39
tube amplifier breaks00:52:41
equipment weighing 20 kilograms00:52:43
No need to carry cars to and from rehearsal00:52:45
in short it was necessary to climb00:52:47
the mountain is far from the top and I'm not far00:52:50
I immediately realized that I couldn’t figure it out00:52:52
I like it, I just like to imagine00:52:54
myself at the top, it’s clear what I need00:52:56
they will say you are a net and a loser who is in00:52:59
It's everyone's fault you didn't find an approach or maybe00:53:01
gave in to the phenomenon of society but no, it’s not00:53:04
this truth is much more prosaic and here it is00:53:07
I just thought I wanted something but00:53:10
I didn't really want the end of the story00:53:13
wanted rewards they fight I wanted00:53:15
I didn't like the result of the process00:53:18
struggle but only victory but in life it’s not like that00:53:20
who you are depends on00:53:23
that you are ready to go only people to whom00:53:26
love the challenges of the gym00:53:28
run triathlon has six-pack abs and00:53:31
lying down presses weight small house only00:53:33
people who like to work are round00:53:35
day and follow the corporate policy00:53:37
the ladder climbs to its top only00:53:41
people who like to endure hardships and00:53:43
the stress of a hungry life becomes00:53:45
masters of painting I'm not talking about strength00:53:48
will and not about endurance and this is not another00:53:50
morally the topic under a lying stone is not water00:53:52
flows this is the simplest and most basic00:53:55
part of life is our struggle00:53:57
determines our successes our problems00:53:59
give rise to our happiness00:54:01
and also guarantees slightly more00:54:03
positive and pleasant nature of problems00:54:05
you know it's an endless journey00:54:08
spiral upward if you at some point00:54:10
decided that there was no need to climb anymore00:54:12
it means you missed something important00:54:15
joy is in the path itself chapter 3 you are not00:54:19
I had a unique friend00:54:21
Let's call him Jimi Jimi has always been00:54:24
ears in business when you don’t ask what he’s doing00:54:26
he is busy or consulting with00:54:28
another company or is looking for an investor for00:54:30
advanced medical equipment00:54:32
or is going to perform at00:54:34
charity event or made it up00:54:36
a new type of gas station promising billions00:54:38
he was always in frantic movement00:54:40
if you gave him at least a few words00:54:42
say jimmy failed information about00:54:45
how significant his work is00:54:47
brilliant last ideas he mentioned00:54:49
so many cool acquaintances00:54:51
it felt like you were communicating00:54:53
tabloid newspaper reporters jimmy00:54:55
always radiated positivity, always thought about it00:54:57
I tried to get through some plans00:54:59
climb up but all this is [ __ ]00:55:03
Jimmy was a rogue and an adventurer00:55:05
professional parasite who sat00:55:08
on the necks of loved ones we rub stories about00:55:10
future technology and greatness00:55:12
he received investors from the club for00:55:14
stupid but that didn't stop them from emitting00:55:16
bars have no less money than on their own00:55:18
business ideas he sometimes applied00:55:21
symbolic efforts, say, took on00:55:23
phone or someone was fooling his head00:55:25
important bird mentioning the cool ones00:55:27
acquaintances but never anything00:55:29
none of the enterprises took place in either00:55:31
that didn’t come out and it went on like that for a year00:55:34
over the year, although Jimmy was no longer00:55:36
as a young man, he lived off his girlfriends and more and more00:55:39
and more distant relatives00:55:40
the disgusting thing is that it's for him00:55:43
liked it was fantastic himself00:55:45
confidence he was unshakably convinced00:55:48
everyone who laughs at him and hangs up00:55:50
everyone who misses the chance of their lives00:55:53
meets with bayonets his exaggerated ideas too00:55:55
ignorant and inexperienced to understand00:55:58
his genius and everyone who bets on him00:56:00
kind of parasitism hates him envy00:56:03
black envy but mostly00:56:05
Platova could not give away someone else's00:56:07
business idea for yours in Gypsy then or00:56:10
squeeze out a stake in a startup sometimes he00:56:12
persuaded someone to pay him for00:56:14
I have no idea about public speaking00:56:16
what is the worst topic that jimmy believed in00:56:19
his own [ __ ] was his self-deception00:56:21
so bulletproof that it’s more likely00:56:24
amused rather than annoyed00:56:25
The 60s saw a boom in psychology00:56:28
high self-esteem positive00:56:30
self-perception and sense of self00:56:32
research showed people who00:56:35
have a high opinion of themselves00:56:37
usually achieves better results and00:56:39
create fewer problems and therefore scientists00:56:42
officials believed that it was necessary to increase00:56:44
self-esteem of the population, they say that’s all00:56:47
and crime and shortages will improve00:56:49
budget will decrease and academic performance and00:56:51
willingness to work will increase00:56:54
as a result, since the 70s people00:56:56
all ears are buzzing about self-respect00:56:59
it was preached by doctors politicians00:57:01
his teachers introduced educational00:57:03
politics and family pedagogy occurred00:57:06
inflation of grades let weak students not00:57:08
complex because of his ignorance00:57:10
invented all kinds of awards and prizes for00:57:13
participation in everyday activities for children00:57:15
gave meaningless homework00:57:17
like an essay on the topic of what makes me unique00:57:20
and what I like about myself are priests and00:57:23
the posters explained to the flock that everyone00:57:26
of them is special in the eyes of God and is called00:57:28
stand out they be average00:57:31
seminars on business and motivation sounded00:57:33
the same paradoxical mantra00:57:35
everyone can be exceptional and00:57:37
absolutely successful a generation later00:57:40
we can sum it up as it turned out not00:57:43
everyone and exceptional and high00:57:45
self-esteem is meaningless when for her00:57:47
there are no good reasons for hardship and failure00:57:50
useful and necessary without them it is impossible00:57:52
become intelligently successful and mature00:57:54
human and if you teach people that they00:57:57
Well done guys won't show up anyway00:57:59
millions of white Gates and Martin Luther00:58:01
of king of a million like jimmy00:58:03
Jimmy is an inadequate founder00:58:05
startups Jimmy who blamed his00:58:08
business partner in immaturity and then00:58:10
withdrew all the money from Lee Bern's company card00:58:12
edit trying to burn some Russian00:58:14
model jimmy who has stock from sico00:58:17
kind uncles and aunts ready to lend00:58:19
money yeah it's self confident jimmy s00:58:21
his high self-esteem Jimmy who00:58:24
spend so much time telling their stories00:58:26
my own virtues that I lost00:58:28
the last skills to do something is this00:58:30
The problem with fashion for high self-esteem00:58:32
she prioritizes the positive00:58:35
perception of oneself but for questions about what00:58:38
the person is much more00:58:40
more important is how he treats his00:58:42
negative aspects if such a person00:58:45
like jimmy ninety nine and nine00:58:47
feels amazing percent of the time00:58:49
well done even though everything around you is collapsing like this00:58:52
can be a reliable criterion for successful and00:58:54
Jimmy considered himself a happy life00:58:56
has the right to receive the best, everyone owes him00:58:59
even though he didn't hit a finger00:59:01
deserved wealth even though I didn't work00:59:03
everyone should love him and influential people00:59:06
favor him even though he didn't help anyone00:59:08
he read that he should live luxuriously and nothing00:59:11
without sacrificing people like jimmy00:59:13
so focused on positive self-esteem00:59:15
what they inspire themselves to do, whether they actually do it00:59:18
something great although far from greatness00:59:21
they believe they performed brilliantly though00:59:23
they exposed themselves as cretins, they think00:59:25
themselves as successful startup founders00:59:27
although I have succeeded in not a single enterprise00:59:30
they call themselves instructors00:59:32
personal growth and take money for00:59:34
helping others even though they are only 25 years old and00:59:37
nothing significant we did people00:59:40
those who consider themselves entitled to receive the best00:59:42
exudes a deceptive aura of self-confidence00:59:44
this confidence can deceive00:59:46
surrounding at least for a while00:59:48
sometimes delusional self-esteem becomes00:59:51
those around you also feel contagious00:59:53
on horseback despite all the spheres Jimmy00:59:55
I have to admit to communicate with him sometimes00:59:58
it was fun there was something about it01:00:00
indestructible but that's the trouble people01:00:04
with this approach to life they experience01:00:06
the need to feel good about everyone01:00:08
time even at the expense of others and with this01:00:11
megalomania01:00:12
they spend most of their lives immersed in thoughts01:00:14
about yourself you need a lot of strength and energy01:00:16
to convince yourself that your [ __ ] isn't01:00:19
it stinks especially if you live in the toilet but01:00:21
when people find a way to perceive01:00:23
any events as a sign of your greatness01:00:25
breaking them out of self-deception is extremely01:00:27
any attempt to appeal to reason is difficult01:00:30
perceived as a threat01:00:33
another envious person can't survive01:00:34
how smart and talented they are01:00:36
successful feeling of self-worth01:00:39
creates a narcissistic bubble which01:00:42
is inflated more and more and distorts everything and01:00:44
all people purifying themselves are super worthy01:00:47
review every event in your life01:00:49
or as confirmation of one’s greatness01:00:52
or how the threats to him happened good01:00:54
it means it is deserved by a great feat01:00:57
something bad happened, it means someone is jealous01:00:59
and tries to diminish his sense of his01:01:02
nothing can break the truth in everything like that01:01:05
people live in a fantasy world, perceiving01:01:08
only what fuels the feeling01:01:10
own superiority01:01:11
they want to preserve theirs at any cost01:01:13
mental facade even if for the sake of it01:01:15
will have to cause physical or01:01:17
emotional pain to others01:01:19
however, the feeling of one's spheres of dignity01:01:22
leads to a dead end this is another drug this01:01:25
misfortune is what a person is worth01:01:28
determined by his attitude towards01:01:29
positive and negative experiences people01:01:32
like Jimmy is hiding about his own01:01:34
problems, inventing successes for each01:01:37
step but because they don't want to look01:01:39
In the face of difficulties they are just weaklings01:01:41
no matter how much they like themselves01:01:44
a person who respects himself is capable01:01:47
be honest about your shortcomings01:01:49
yes I can be irresponsible with money yes01:01:52
I sometimes exaggerate my successes yes I do01:01:55
relying too much on others for support01:01:57
you have to try harder yourself and then01:02:00
try to improve but people who01:02:02
they think they deserve everything01:02:04
able to admit their problems openly01:02:06
and honestly don't improve your life01:02:08
somewhat lasting meaningful01:02:09
way they only chase after pleasant things01:02:12
sensations and reach new levels01:02:14
escapism01:02:16
however, a collision with harsh reality01:02:18
inevitably and someday deep01:02:21
problems will only make themselves known01:02:23
when it will be and how much01:02:25
painful everything collapses at 9 o'clock in the morning I01:02:29
sat in biology class with his head propped up01:02:32
with my hands my attention was occupied by the arrow01:02:34
hours as she chastised the second01:02:36
moving to the beat of a monotonous hum01:02:39
teachers about chromosomes and mitosis as well as01:02:41
most 13 year olds in01:02:44
there was no stuffy room with neon lights01:02:46
bored, there was a knock on the door, the school's name is01:02:49
Mr. Price poked his head into the room01:02:50
Sorry to bother you Mark, can't you see?01:02:53
take a minute and take your things with you01:02:55
strange I think it sometimes calls children01:02:58
memorize it, but it’s very rarely that I come01:03:01
I'm packing my things, I'm going out, the lobby post is in01:03:04
deep into hundreds of beige lockers Mark You01:03:07
can you take me to your locker01:03:08
Of course I answer and slowly walk through01:03:11
the lobby is cobbled together in baggy01:03:13
jeans and a panther t-shirt are not our size01:03:16
let's go to the locker, open it please01:03:18
says Mr. Price, I obey him01:03:20
pushes me aside and takes mine01:03:22
jacket bag with my sports uniform01:03:24
backpack all contents locker and behind01:03:26
except for a few notebooks and01:03:28
let's go throw pencils over his shoulder01:03:31
I have a bad feeling01:03:33
I drag myself to the office where he tells me01:03:35
sit down he closes the door and locks it01:03:37
then he goes to the window and closes the curtains01:03:40
so you can't see from the outside01:03:41
what's happening01:03:42
palms are sweaty no this is not an ordinary challenge01:03:45
while teaching Mr. Price sits down and quietly01:03:47
searches my things and checks my pockets01:03:49
stretches zippers shake out01:03:52
sports uniform and puts it on the floor01:03:54
looking at me mr price asks01:03:56
I know it's still March, no answering drugs01:03:59
this word hits like a blow01:04:02
rush nervous attention drugs01:04:04
stuttering and pronouncing what drugs01:04:06
he looks at me sternly, I don’t know what01:04:09
you have it opens one of01:04:12
compartments of the bag and checks small01:04:14
pockets for pens01:04:16
flows through me in streams, I no longer sweat01:04:18
only the palms but then the whole arms01:04:20
neck blood pulsates in the sands rushes to01:04:22
brain and face like most 13 year olds01:04:25
teenagers who were accused of01:04:26
they store drugs and bring them to01:04:28
I want to run away from school and hide01:04:30
I don’t know what you’re talking about, I object but01:04:33
my voice sounds a little weaker than I would01:04:35
I wanted oh if it sounded hard01:04:38
confidence or vice versa01:04:40
it's better to look scared01:04:41
good liars look interesting01:04:43
scared or confident that would be it01:04:45
know then you could do it01:04:47
on the contrary, confusion works against01:04:50
they make me confident in their words01:04:52
even more insecure damn01:04:54
vicious circle let's see now01:04:57
is responsible for switching to a backpack with01:04:59
they are filled with many pockets01:05:01
ordinary teenage junk in color01:05:03
pencils with dried markers in places01:05:05
album without half the pages and discs on01:05:08
early 90's cracked boxes mine01:05:10
fear must have been growing at the speed of light01:05:12
because time has stretched and01:05:14
The second hand on the watch has expanded01:05:16
biology classroom showing 90001:05:19
remained somewhere in the Paleolithic and I am with each01:05:21
minute only me and mr grow and die01:05:24
price list and my bottomless backpack somewhere in01:05:27
Mesolithic Mister Project finishes the search01:05:29
he didn't find anything in the backpack and looked01:05:32
confused, he turned the hare upside down01:05:34
bottom and all my trash scattered across the floor01:05:37
the office now sweats behind the watch too01:05:39
abundant like me only I'm from the nerves of the UN01:05:41
out of anger it means he doesn't have drugs01:05:44
tries to make his voice sound casual01:05:46
yeah, I try to speak calmly too01:05:49
takes my things one by one and01:05:51
put them in small piles near01:05:53
my sports uniform jacket backpack01:05:56
now lie empty and lifeless01:05:58
on his knees he sighs and thoughtfully01:06:00
looks at the wall like most 1301:06:02
summer teens locked in office with01:06:04
men who throw them around in anger01:06:06
I didn’t want to cry with my clothes in half01:06:07
mr price looks at things stacked01:06:10
there's nothing illegal on the floor or01:06:12
no illegal drugs even01:06:14
nothing against school rules01:06:16
sighs then throws his jacket on the floor01:06:18
he leans towards me with his backpack01:06:21
hands in the knee his face is on01:06:22
on the same level as my mark, here's the last one01:06:25
you'll have a chance to lay it all out01:06:28
honest, it's better for you, and if it turns out01:06:30
I lied, blame myself, I'm helpless01:06:34
gasping for air tell me the truth01:06:35
Mr. Price presses you brought it today01:06:37
taking drugs to school, desperately trying not to01:06:39
cry through a lump in the throat and begging01:06:41
Lee Pichu's voice looking into his face no01:06:44
I have no idea about any drugs01:06:46
what are you talking about what I wouldn't give01:06:48
so that this horror doesn't happen, okay he01:06:51
I guess you can pack your things he01:06:53
casts one last greedy glance at mine01:06:55
empty backpack thrown on the floor of the office01:06:57
like a broken promise and not01:06:59
means putting your foot on it lightly01:07:01
we press down on the floor, my last attempt01:07:04
I'm waiting tensely for him to finally be able to01:07:05
get up and leave go back to normal01:07:07
life forgetting the nightmare and then his leg01:07:10
stumbles upon something that asks01:07:13
he taps his foot what what01:07:15
I ask again, is there anything else here?01:07:18
lifts the backpack and begins to probe01:07:20
the bottom of the room around me is losing clarity01:07:23
the outlines all float and sway in youth01:07:26
I was smart and sociable and01:07:28
was a [ __ ], to put it mildly, disobedient and01:07:31
lying little [ __ ] cunning and01:07:33
embittered when I was 12 years old01:07:35
turned off the house alarm01:07:37
magnetic for refrigerator and under01:07:39
in the cover of night, we fled from the house with01:07:41
a friend parked cars at his mother's01:07:43
neutral and pushed out onto the street to01:07:45
start the engine without waking her up and also01:07:47
wrote an essay about abortion because01:07:50
knew that our teacher01:07:51
English is very conservative01:07:53
Christian with another friend we01:07:55
stole his mother's cigarette and01:07:57
sold them to children behind the school, I also01:08:00
made a secret compartment in the bottom of the backpack01:08:02
where did you put the marijuana in this department?01:08:05
mr price and found by stepping on01:08:07
hidden drugs he caught me on01:08:09
lies a few hours later I was sitting01:08:12
handcuffed in the backseat of a policewoman01:08:13
cars and thought that my life was over01:08:16
what a clear idea for most 1301:08:19
summer teenagers in a sense I01:08:21
turned out to be right, my parents put me under01:08:23
I was left without house arrest for a long time01:08:25
friends01:08:26
school kicked me out and for the rest of the year I01:08:28
homeschooled mom01:08:30
made me get a short haircut01:08:32
and threw out all the Marilyn Manson T-shirts01:08:34
and Metallica's father took me with him to01:08:37
work in the morning and forced endlessly01:08:39
put papers in folders and when01:08:41
my homeschooling period is over01:08:44
sent to a small private Christian01:08:46
school where, as you understand, I felt01:08:48
feeling uncomfortable01:08:49
new times when I started with the past01:08:51
became a boy and learned responsibility01:08:53
my parents decided to divorce me01:08:56
We're telling you this just to01:08:58
to show that my youth was like that01:09:00
eyes wouldn't look for 9 months01:09:03
lost all my friends company legitimate01:09:05
rights and family later when I01:09:08
will be over 20 my therapist will call it01:09:10
real traumatic [ __ ] and01:09:12
It will take me more than 10 years to01:09:15
get out of it and become less01:09:16
selfish and pretentious bastards01:09:18
however, this is what the main thing was01:09:21
the problem of the family is not what was said01:09:23
or something terrible was happening, it consisted01:09:26
is that important things were not done and were not01:09:28
were told the family hid their lives under01:09:31
such a cover of secrecy under which01:09:33
Raven Buffett hid the source of his money01:09:35
and Jena Jameson doesn’t have her connections here01:09:38
there were no equals even if the house burned down around01:09:40
my parents would still say yes to this01:09:43
No, everything is fine, maybe a little hot01:09:45
but overall nothing when they got divorced01:09:48
no one hit the court, don't slam doors01:09:50
and not a scandal about who wins who01:09:52
[ __ ] once they assured us with01:09:54
brother that it’s not even our fault01:09:56
time for questions and answers yes you are01:09:58
you read it right about how it is now01:10:01
everything will work out, not a single tear was shed01:10:03
voice was never raised once we01:10:06
my brother and I listened to how the parents were figuring it out01:10:08
relationship01:10:09
no one deceived anyone how cute it can be01:10:12
it might be a little hot, but don't worry01:10:15
that's right my parents are good people I'm neither01:10:17
I don’t blame them for that, at least not anymore01:10:19
I don’t blame them, I love them very much from each of them01:10:22
them like all parents, including theirs01:10:24
your own life story with your own01:10:27
twists and turns and problems like everyone else01:10:29
my parents are the best01:10:31
intentions transferred some of their problems01:10:33
I’ll probably do the same with my children.01:10:36
when a real one appears in our life01:10:39
traumatic [ __ ] we subconsciously01:10:40
we think that we are facing problems that01:10:43
in principle we can’t solve this either01:10:44
perceived inability to resolve01:10:46
problems make us feel01:10:48
unhappy and helpless and that's it01:10:51
not limited if we have no01:10:53
solved problems our subconscious01:10:55
concludes that we are either unique01:10:58
gifted or unique flawed we are not01:11:00
like everyone else and therefore the rules for us01:11:03
must be separate in other words we01:11:05
worthy of something special the troubles of youth01:11:08
created in me the feeling that I had the right not to01:11:10
who left me at the beginning of adulthood01:11:13
life but Jimmy has a similar setup01:11:15
appeared in business where he is forever01:11:17
claimed to have brilliant ideas and I01:11:20
he found himself in a relationship especially with01:11:22
In women, trauma affected intimacy and01:11:24
acceptance therefore I felt constant01:11:26
need to compensate me again and01:11:29
again I had to prove to myself that01:11:31
I am loved and accepted as a result01:11:33
stuck to women like a box01:11:35
I went head over heels for the cocaine snowman01:11:38
I drowned in love, choking on it, I became01:11:41
player player immature and selfish01:11:44
although sometimes he was charming01:11:45
much of the decade01:11:47
was marked by a long series01:11:49
superficial and unhealthy relationships01:11:51
the sex was pleasant but I didn’t want it so much01:11:54
sex is so much self-affirmation for me01:11:57
wanted to love me for the first time in my memory01:11:59
I was worthy thirst for self-affirmation01:12:02
quickly created a mental craving for myself01:12:04
falling with excess I considered myself01:12:07
I have the right to say and do whatever I want01:12:09
violate trust, neglect others01:12:12
feelings and then hide behind the bugler01:12:14
them and empty excuses for this01:12:17
time had its joys and its01:12:18
I met pleasures along the way01:12:20
even very good women, but in general and01:12:23
in general, life has gone awry, often I01:12:25
was sitting without work living with friends or with01:12:28
Mom drank more than necessary and disgusted01:12:31
a lot of people treat me well01:12:32
you relate to when you met a woman01:12:35
which I really liked my01:12:37
selfishness derailed the deeper01:12:39
the pain the more defenseless we feel in01:12:42
our problems and the more we unleash01:12:44
trying to compensate myself01:12:45
problems this installation works one of01:12:48
I'm wonderful in two ways, that's all01:12:51
the rest are freaks so I deserve it01:12:53
special treatment I'm a freak and everyone else01:12:57
wonderful that's why I deserve01:12:59
special treatment seemingly opposite01:13:02
things but the egoistic filling is the same01:13:04
people who consider themselves special01:13:07
often fluctuates between both01:13:09
extremes then they are on top of the world then01:13:11
its bottom depending on the day of the week and01:13:14
effectiveness of self-deception most01:13:16
people will rightly be considered Jimmy01:13:17
a complete narcissist you are an [ __ ] but this01:13:20
because in my stupid conceit01:13:22
he doesn’t know the measures, often it’s more difficult01:13:24
recognize the claim of exclusivity01:13:26
people who feel inferior and01:13:29
unworthy of those around you, after all, constantly01:13:31
consider yourself a victim no less01:13:33
selfishness than to be in rapture with oneself01:13:36
you need no less strength and delusions of grandeur than01:13:39
to believe in their absence however01:13:41
There are no unique problems at all with01:13:44
millions of people have problems like yours01:13:46
people lived in the past live now and01:13:48
will live in the future it is very possible that01:13:52
there are such people among your friends01:13:54
this does not diminish the problems and does not mean that01:13:57
it shouldn't hurt you, it doesn't01:13:58
means that in some circumstances01:14:00
you are wrong to consider yourself a victim01:14:03
means one thing you are often not unique01:14:07
awareness of only this fact that in01:14:09
the seriousness and soreness of your01:14:11
there are no problems, nothing special is happening01:14:13
the first and most important step in solving them01:14:16
for some reason more and more people01:14:18
especially young people, many people forget about this01:14:21
professors and teachers note01:14:22
lack of emotional stability and01:14:25
excess of selfish demands from01:14:27
today's youth01:14:28
often removes books from school01:14:30
programs just because they are someone01:14:32
annoying speaker and professor01:14:34
silences them and expels them from campus01:14:37
let's say sheer nonsense for the opinion that something01:14:39
what Halloween costumes are not01:14:41
offensive psychologists state how01:14:44
never many students are extremely worried01:14:46
emotional stress due to the most ordinary01:14:48
school problems quarrel with classmates01:14:50
or a bad grade in class, it’s strange that01:14:53
in the era of universal communication the feeling01:14:55
its uniqueness has reached its maximum01:14:57
nothing in modern technology01:14:59
allows you to roam around our complex01:15:01
more freedom than ever before01:15:04
expressions are given to us the more we want01:15:06
free yourself from having to deal with01:15:08
people who disagree with us or01:15:10
upset us the more often we01:15:12
facing opposite points01:15:14
view the more dissatisfied the lighter and01:15:17
ours becomes freer from the problem01:15:18
life the more unique we consider01:15:21
remaining problems no doubt01:15:23
Internet and social networks present01:15:25
a miracle in many ways of our time01:15:27
best in history but maybe in01:15:29
socially, these technologies provide01:15:31
unwanted side effect of technology01:15:33
who brought free knowledge so01:15:35
many people were inspired by many and the feeling01:15:38
the uniqueness of which their ancestors did not know01:15:40
tyranny of exclusivity to the majority of01:15:44
We succeed in most things very well01:15:46
average even if you're in something of a wasp01:15:48
the rest are probably average or even01:15:50
worse, this is how life is designed to achieve01:15:53
skill in something needs to be spent01:15:55
a lot of time and effort and since our01:15:57
almost no one has limited time and energy01:15:59
arises we almost no one reaches01:16:02
true mastery in several areas at once01:16:03
things if he achieves something01:16:06
statistically unthinkable01:16:08
so that the same person achieves01:16:10
amazing success in all or even in01:16:12
successful in many areas of life01:16:15
businessmen often do not know how to build01:16:17
family life famous athletes01:16:20
all the time empty and dull as a cork01:16:22
after a lobotomy, many celebrities do not01:16:25
they know better how to live than simpletons01:16:27
who look at them with their mouths open and01:16:29
imitates every sneeze of the great man01:16:30
We are all average in most respects.01:16:33
it's just that the resonance gets extreme for01:16:36
This is not news to us but we rarely think01:16:38
or are ready to talk about it and never01:16:41
let's discuss why this might be01:16:42
problem of course it's great to have internet01:16:45
google facebook and youtube and access 500 s01:16:47
unnecessary television channels but ours01:16:49
attention is limited we have no01:16:51
avalanche handling capabilities01:16:54
information that is constantly being rolled out01:16:55
on us therefore to our consciousness01:16:57
they only get serious about information01:16:59
things that are truly unusual and extremely rare01:17:02
however, day after day is upon us01:17:04
tons of news about things are pouring in01:17:06
unusual and the greatest sporting01:17:08
records about the funniest jokes about the most01:17:11
terrible disasters about the most terrible01:17:12
threats and so on endlessly01:17:15
opens just around full01:17:17
information from peaks and at in the curve01:17:19
human experience because it is she01:17:21
attracts our attention and they bring01:17:24
media dollars for business but01:17:26
the vast majority of people live in01:17:28
monotonous middle overwhelming majority01:17:30
life is not extraordinary but quite01:17:33
the ordinary flow of extremes forces us01:17:36
believe that exclusivity is the norm01:17:38
because usually nothing happens to us01:17:40
nothing special happens avalanche01:17:42
messages about exceptional leads01:17:43
melancholy and despair why are we sitting here?01:17:45
More and more swamps arise from here01:17:48
the need for compensation that promises01:17:50
we feel a sense of exclusivity01:17:52
or some addiction we're trying01:17:55
cope in accessible ways by01:17:57
exalting oneself and others alone01:18:00
come up with get rich quick schemes01:18:02
others go to the opposite01:18:05
end of the planet saving the hungry01:18:07
3 babies go all out in their studies and01:18:10
gets every imaginable reward 401:18:13
school 5 is being shelled and trying to get busy01:18:15
sex with everything that speaks and breathes it01:18:18
everything is connected by worth and culture01:18:20
the uniqueness that I talked about in this01:18:22
cultural shifts often change people01:18:24
born at the end of the 20th century but this01:18:28
generation is simply the most noticeable and01:18:29
is in the spotlight01:18:31
and the desire to feel unique01:18:33
felt by people of all generations01:18:34
in my opinion the dream of01:18:36
exclusivity is instilled in the media, trouble is in01:18:39
that the inclusiveness of technology and01:18:41
massive marketing ruins expectations01:18:43
a lot of people due to the influx01:18:45
people feel exceptional01:18:48
inferior and thinks that he needs to be01:18:50
more unusual more radical and01:18:53
more self-confident to be noticed and01:18:55
appreciated when I was young my01:18:58
insecurities in the intimate sphere01:18:59
aggravated by ridiculous criteria01:19:01
my masculinity lived in01:19:03
in pop culture they are in vogue now cool01:19:06
guy party like a rock star all his01:19:08
respected and admired by women more important01:19:11
sex is nothing for a man and for his sake01:19:13
you can sacrifice everything including01:19:15
self-esteem constant flow01:19:17
media chemistry fuels our feelings01:19:19
uncertainty, you see how much you are not01:19:22
meet the standards not only01:19:24
we feel ourselves in the midst of unsolvable01:19:26
problems, we also turned out to be losers01:19:28
since elementary belt in google01:19:30
reports thousands of people01:19:32
the second one doesn't have these problems at all01:19:34
technology has solved old economic01:19:36
bringing us new problems01:19:37
psychological problems on the Internet we01:19:40
we find not only easy access to01:19:41
information but also easy access to01:19:43
uncertainty, shame and self-doubt01:19:46
but if I'm not special and01:19:49
amazing what is the meaning in our01:19:51
culture generally believes that we are all01:19:54
called to something truly unusual01:19:56
so to speak celebrities say so01:19:58
oligarchs say so, politicians say so01:20:00
he even talks about which means that’s how it is01:20:03
absolutely everyone can be01:20:05
extraordinary we all deserve greatness01:20:08
however, most people miss out01:20:10
I see that this thesis has internal01:20:12
contradictions if everyone is outstanding01:20:15
then by definition no one will01:20:17
outstanding instead of thinking01:20:19
what we really deserve or not01:20:22
we deserve obedience yes we do01:20:24
We obediently throw out this lie and ask01:20:26
still average classic definition01:20:29
There's nothing worse than being a loser01:20:32
in the middle in the middle part of the curve when01:20:35
success is measured by unusualness when01:20:38
success is measured by unusualness even better01:20:40
to be at the very bottom than in the middle01:20:43
in any case, you are unusual and deserve01:20:45
attention, many people do this01:20:48
prove to everyone that they are the most unfortunate01:20:50
either the most oppressed or the most01:20:52
activated, many are afraid to be01:20:54
Among them are Komi, after all, if you come to terms with01:20:57
such a situation01:20:58
they will never achieve anything and never01:21:00
got out into people, their life will be nothing01:21:02
this mentality is dangerous01:21:05
only you will agree that it is possible to stand01:21:07
to name only the truly great and01:21:09
outstanding life you declare life01:21:11
most people on earth including my own01:21:13
mediocre and useless and that's nothing01:21:16
does not bode well for those around you or for you01:21:18
those rare people who achieve01:21:21
great success in anything owes its01:21:23
success without believing your exclusivity01:21:25
the roots of their victories lie in the friend they had01:21:28
fad about improvement but01:21:31
let's think about why they wanted to become better01:21:33
yes, because they were aware of it while01:21:36
they don't really get this attitude01:21:39
diametrically opposed to faith01:21:41
own greatness success can come01:21:43
only when a person understands what01:21:46
greatness is far from him, results are modest and01:21:49
mediocre and there is room to grow but the trick01:21:52
about the fact that every person can01:21:54
become exceptional and achieve greatness01:21:56
just teasing him sounds good but01:21:59
in reality they are just empty calories01:22:01
the notorious Big Mac for the soul and brains from01:22:04
it only makes you fatter and swims with fat01:22:06
for emotional health as well as for01:22:08
physical health you need to eat vegetables and01:22:10
fruits in other words take simple and01:22:13
simple truths of life like yours01:22:15
actions don't play that big a role01:22:18
in the general course of things or most01:22:20
your life will be boring and not01:22:22
remarkable and this is normal at first01:22:25
such plant food will seem01:22:27
rude or even tasteless you again01:22:29
will pull a Big Mac but as soon as you01:22:31
digest the truth your body is filled01:22:34
life and strength in the end you have01:22:36
the stone will fall from your shoulders and the constant will disappear01:22:39
the need to be amazing and01:22:41
outstanding dissipates stress and anxiety01:22:43
caused by the complex you and01:22:45
the need to pretend to know something01:22:48
and accepting your humble01:22:49
existence will free you for01:22:51
committing department which you01:22:53
really want to do it without unnecessary01:22:55
fears and high expectations for you01:22:57
simple joys of life will be revealed01:22:59
friendship creativity helping someone in need01:23:01
reading good books opportunity01:23:04
laugh with a nice person01:23:06
tell me it sounds boring until these things are the most01:23:09
ordinary but maybe they are not accidental01:23:11
the most ordinary ones because they are authentic01:23:13
important01:23:16
chapter 4 the price of suffering in recent times01:23:20
months 44 years after almost ten years01:23:23
wars japan's economy was bad01:23:26
the troops were scattered01:23:28
across half of Asia and conquest01:23:30
the Pacific region were collapsing as01:23:33
dominoes under American blows01:23:35
troops defeat seemed inevitable 2601:23:39
December01:23:40
1944 Junior Lieutenant Hiro Onoda01:23:43
was from the Imperial Japanese Army01:23:46
sent to the islet of Lu Bank in01:23:47
in the Philippines he was given orders to01:23:50
slow down the US offensive any longer01:23:53
at the cost of continuing the fight to hold on and not01:23:55
to surrender he and his commander knew the odds01:23:59
survive almost zero February01:24:01
in '45 the Americans came01:24:04
new bank and conquered the island01:24:06
colossal superiority in power01:24:08
a few days most Japanese01:24:10
the soldiers surrendered or were killed however01:24:12
anodes and three of his comrades managed01:24:15
hide in the jungle there they started01:24:17
guerrilla warfare with the American01:24:18
troops and local population undermined01:24:21
vital communications were killed01:24:23
soldiers and generally interfered in every possible way01:24:25
American in August of the same year01:24:28
Hiroshima was atomically bombed01:24:30
and Nagasaki01:24:31
Japan surrendered and most01:24:33
deadly war in human history01:24:35
however, came to its grim end01:24:38
thousands of Japanese soldiers were still there01:24:41
scattered across the islands of the Pacific Ocean01:24:43
most of them were hiding in the jungle01:24:45
not knowing that the war is over as before01:24:48
they continued to fight, this is a game01:24:50
significantly complicate recovery01:24:52
normal life in east asia01:24:54
the government understood it needs to be accepted01:24:56
American military cooperation measures01:24:59
abandoned with the Japanese government01:25:01
Pacific Islands with thousands of leaflets01:25:03
announcing the end of the war and the possibility01:25:06
everyone go home anode and it01:25:08
comrades, like many others, found and01:25:11
read these leaflets but unlike01:25:13
most of the rest took them for01:25:15
The Americans are trying to lure out a trap01:25:17
partisans burned the anode from the shelter01:25:19
leaflets together with his comrades he01:25:22
hid and continued to fight passed01:25:24
five years ago they stopped dropping leaflets01:25:27
most of the American soldiers01:25:29
went home local population lu01:25:31
Banga tried to establish a normal life01:25:33
do farming catch fish but im01:25:35
interfered with Hiro Onoda and his gang they01:25:38
farmers were shot, crops were burned, crops were stolen01:25:41
livestock and killed by residents who came too01:25:43
went too far into the forest then01:25:45
Philippine authorities began to draw up01:25:47
new flyers and dumps them into the jungle01:25:49
come out the war is over you lost but01:25:52
and this had no effect in 195201:25:55
Japanese authorities did the latter01:25:58
an attempt to smoke out the remaining soldiers from01:26:00
Pacific jungle this time from01:26:02
letters from their relatives were dropped in the air01:26:04
photos from home and personal01:26:07
However, the request of the emperor himself is necessary01:26:09
again refused to believe that the information01:26:11
he believed that all this was true01:26:13
American propaganda, but it’s necessary01:26:15
again refused to believe that the information01:26:17
he believed that all this was true01:26:19
propaganda and American trick his people01:26:22
did not lay down their arms continued to fight01:26:24
Several more years have passed, tired of01:26:26
terror of local Philippine authorities01:26:27
gathered armed forces and fought back01:26:30
fifty-nine year one of01:26:32
Anode's comrades surrendered, the other died01:26:34
shootouts with local police after01:26:36
he still carried out the burning of the rice field01:26:38
war with the local population later01:26:40
quarter of a century after the end of the second01:26:42
spending more than half of the world war01:26:44
of her life in the Lu Bang jungle she01:26:46
got one in '7201:26:48
The news of Kazuki's death reached01:26:50
Japan and caused a stir among the Japanese01:26:53
thought that the last of them was a soldier01:26:54
the great war returned a year ago01:26:56
Japanese media began to wonder01:26:59
if like zuko even the corner of bangi is up to 72 years old01:27:02
then maybe the anode is still intact01:27:04
the last fighter of old Japan that year and01:27:07
Japanese Philippine authorities sent01:27:09
search party they needed a mysterious01:27:12
junior lieutenant is now partly a myth01:27:14
part hero part ghost they are nobody01:27:17
did not find it took months the story about the league of Nantes01:27:20
anode this hero became a legend in Japan01:27:23
war seemed too crazy to01:27:25
exist in reality they01:27:26
others romanticized him, others scolded him01:27:29
generally considered a fairy tale and an invention of those who01:27:31
wanted to believe in vanished Japan01:27:33
a long time ago around this time both01:27:35
Nadi was heard by a young man named01:27:37
nori u suzuki it was a [ __ ] finder01:27:40
adventures happy grown up through a lot01:27:42
years after the end of the war he left01:27:44
university and traveled for four years01:27:46
Asia Middle East and Africa slept01:27:48
on a park bench in other people's cars01:27:50
open air prison cells01:27:52
was hired as a farm worker for food and01:27:54
donated blood to pay for01:27:56
wait, he was a free man and01:27:58
maybe a little crazy at seventy01:28:01
the second year suzuki again pulled on01:28:03
in search of adventure he has already returned to01:28:05
Japan and was suffocated by strict cultural01:28:07
hated norms and social hierarchy01:28:09
study couldn't hold down a job for him01:28:12
I wanted to go on the road again and didn’t want anything from anyone01:28:14
depend legend sucky legs suggested01:28:17
suzuki where to look for a solution to the problem here01:28:20
She's a new worthy adventure suzuki01:28:22
believed that he would find the anode and search engines01:28:25
troops sent by the Japanese to the Filipinos01:28:27
failed by the American authorities01:28:29
until the local police searched unsuccessfully01:28:32
jungle for almost thirty years before01:28:35
1000 leaflets remained unanswered but also01:28:37
let oh well, you're a shield rogue hippie and01:28:40
dropout unarmed and unfamiliar with01:28:42
military intelligence and tactics suzuki01:28:44
went to the lu bank and started alone01:28:46
wandering through the jungle was his strategy01:28:49
he shouts his name very loudly01:28:51
anodes and said to worry about it01:28:53
Emperor and found the anode in four days01:28:56
for some time suzuki lived all the nodes in01:28:59
the jungle this time she spent in01:29:01
he hasn't been alone for over a year now01:29:03
enough human communication information01:29:05
about the outside world obtained from a source01:29:07
whom he could trust men almost01:29:10
became friends suzuki asked why01:29:12
he stayed and continued to fight01:29:14
followed by a simple answer, the order read01:29:17
never give up so I never gave up01:29:19
for almost thirty years he simply performed01:29:22
order to turn the anode01:29:23
I asked Suzuki why some01:29:26
happy boy interested in him suzuki01:29:28
replied that he left Japan in search of01:29:31
three things lieutenant anodes bear01:29:33
Bigfoot panda exactly like this01:29:35
sequences with strange01:29:37
circumstances brought the fate of these men01:29:39
great seekers who manila01:29:41
deceptive dreams of fame it was like01:29:44
Japanese Don Quixote and Sancho Panza01:29:45
hovering 2 wildernesses of the Philippine jungle and01:29:48
imagining themselves as heroes although they01:29:50
were left alone and had nothing01:29:51
did but we had to devote that time01:29:54
most of my life an illusory war yes01:29:56
and suzuki gave up on a lot later01:29:58
having already found the dick anode and the panda bear01:30:00
he will die in a few years01:30:02
in the Himalayas in search of Bigfoot01:30:03
people often give the lion's share of their01:30:06
life seemingly useless or even01:30:08
harmful business at first glance their business01:30:11
doesn't make sense it's hard to understand how to anode01:30:14
could be happy on the island eating01:30:16
insects and rodents sleep in dirt and01:30:18
killing civilians for a decade01:30:20
decade or why suzuki01:30:22
headed towards his own death01:30:24
having neither friends nor companions01:30:27
goals other than finding the legendary Yeti01:30:29
later she will say that it’s nothing01:30:32
regrets, he will say that he was proud of his01:30:34
choice and time proven lu bangi01:30:36
he will say that it was an honor to dedicate01:30:38
a huge part of my life is serving01:30:40
non-existent empire if you are a suzuki01:30:42
survived he probably answered yes something01:30:44
like he did what he wanted and nothing01:30:47
no regrets these people chose suffering01:30:49
Hiro Onoda decided to suffer according to his taste01:30:52
Suzuki suffered for the sake of the lost empire01:30:54
for as much adventure as you want01:30:56
suffering was risky for both01:30:58
senseless but endured in the name01:31:01
something more because these torments01:31:03
made sense they could be tolerated and be01:31:06
can draw joy from them if01:31:08
suffering is inevitable if life01:31:10
problems are inevitable then more appropriate01:31:12
the question is not how to stop01:31:14
suffering, why do I suffer for what?01:31:17
goals heru anode returned to japan in01:31:21
1974 and became a celebrity in his homeland01:31:24
he was invited to a radio talk show01:31:26
politicians were eager to shake his hand01:31:28
published a book and government01:31:30
offered him a huge sum as a gift01:31:32
money but its terrible what he found01:31:35
return to Japan consumer01:31:37
capitalist and superficial01:31:39
culture this culture has lost everything01:31:41
traditions of the parts and sacrifices on which there was01:31:43
brought up the anode generation tried01:31:46
use his sudden fame for01:31:48
maintaining the value of old Japan but01:31:50
the new society remained deaf to him01:31:52
they said they saw it as an exhibit01:31:55
a serious intellectual message in01:31:56
diva time capsule for fun museum01:31:59
a relic and here’s the irony of fate, but it’s necessary01:32:01
felt worse at home than ever01:32:04
these years in the jungle because in the jungle it is01:32:06
life had meaning it meant something it01:32:09
made his suffering bearable to them and even01:32:11
he found a little desirable in Japan01:32:13
people whose life seemed empty to him01:32:15
There are hippies and women all around01:32:18
behavior and even dressed in European style01:32:20
and there came an epiphany of meaning in the struggle01:32:23
was Japan which he knew because of01:32:26
which he fought is a thing of the past01:32:28
the bitter truth pierced him more deeply01:32:30
any bullet since there was suffering01:32:32
it remained pointless to recognize 30 years01:32:34
wasted01:32:36
so in the eightieth year she was up to01:32:38
packed his things and left for Brazil where01:32:40
lived until his death01:32:42
onion of self-knowledge self-knowledge01:32:46
like an onion, it has many layers and what01:32:48
the more you clean them the more01:32:50
probability that you will cry 1 onion01:32:53
the usual understanding of your emotions is when01:32:55
I feel happy when I01:32:57
sad it gives hope unfortunately01:32:59
many people face difficulties01:33:01
already at this simple level01:33:03
self-knowledge I know this because I am alone01:33:06
Of these, our wife is often about01:33:08
such a funny dialogue she's nothing01:33:11
happened I before what could have happened01:33:13
nothing not something wrong tell me yes everything01:33:15
I'm fine honestly you're right01:33:17
you look so upset I'm nervous01:33:20
laughter, no, everything's fine01:33:22
in half an hour so that's why I feel bad01:33:25
this guy constantly behaves as if01:33:27
I'm an empty place we all have01:33:29
emotional blind spots are often01:33:32
associated with the emotions we experience in childhood01:33:34
were considered inappropriate required01:33:37
years of practice and effort to learn01:33:39
identify blind spots in yourself and then01:33:41
adequately express problematic emotions but01:33:43
this task is extremely important01:33:45
effort the second layer of the onion is01:33:48
the ability to ask why we01:33:50
we experience certain emotions why01:33:52
not an easy question to answer01:33:55
its consistent exactly often01:33:57
it takes months and even years for most01:33:59
This is the first time people have heard such questions from01:34:01
therapist, however, they are important because they help01:34:04
understand what we consider success and failure01:34:06
why do you feel angry because you01:34:09
failed to achieve some goal why01:34:11
you feel depressed and apathetic01:34:13
Is it because you consider yourself to be in something?01:34:15
This level of questions sheds a flawed01:34:17
light on the source of emotions that01:34:19
overwhelm us and as soon as we understand01:34:21
the underlying cause is ideally possible01:34:23
try to change something but there is01:34:25
another even deeper level01:34:27
self-knowledge is where he vomits01:34:30
concerns our personal values why01:34:32
why do I consider this a success or failure01:34:34
on what basis do I evaluate myself?01:34:37
what criterion do I use to judge myself and those around me?01:34:40
this level which requires constant01:34:42
reflection and effort are extremely difficult to achieve01:34:45
however, it is most important because our01:34:48
values determine the character of our01:34:49
problems the nature of the problems determines01:34:52
the quality of our life values lie in01:34:54
the basis of everything we are and what we do01:34:56
if valued by us it is useless if we01:34:59
the criterion of success was chosen incorrectly and01:35:01
failures are all based on these01:35:03
values if emotions are everyday01:35:06
the feeling will go awry all ours01:35:08
thoughts and feelings regarding any01:35:10
situations are ultimately determined01:35:12
Most people don't understand values01:35:15
answering the question why and this gets in the way01:35:17
im aware of my values i appreciate01:35:20
honesty and friendship will say something else01:35:21
take a closer look, he'll say nasty things about01:35:23
your back when it is beneficial for him or01:35:25
I feel lonely and ask why01:35:27
he feels lonely and he starts01:35:29
blame others01:35:30
no one understands me around me01:35:32
bastards are boring and stupid, naturally so01:35:35
it doesn't solve the problem, it just hides it01:35:37
Many people have their heads in the sand01:35:39
inadequate self-esteem is called01:35:41
self-knowledge even if they looked01:35:43
attentively and looked at their lives01:35:45
they would see their deepest values01:35:48
their initial analysis was based on01:35:50
avoiding responsibility for one's own01:35:52
problems of unwillingness to face the truth01:35:54
the face they would see their decision dictated01:35:57
in pursuit of momentary pleasure they01:36:00
lovers searching for true happiness01:36:02
giving advice is usually overlooked01:36:04
this is a deep level of self-knowledge they01:36:07
they take people who are unhappy01:36:08
lack of wealth and offer them01:36:10
ways to make good money but ignores01:36:12
important questions about values from where01:36:14
there was such a need for wealth01:36:16
why does a person choose for himself01:36:18
such a criterion of success and failure to be01:36:21
maybe there is some kind of misfortune at the origins01:36:23
a certain value and not at all01:36:24
lack of bentley there is plenty01:36:27
superficial advice designed to give01:36:29
temporary comfort they solve the problem01:36:31
what about perception and emotions?01:36:33
but the deep values and01:36:36
internal criteria by which these01:36:37
the values determined will remain the same01:36:39
Is this progress, this is pure water?01:36:42
the drug of asking yourself honest questions01:36:44
It can be difficult to answer the simplest questions01:36:47
It’s inconvenient to answer, although from my experience01:36:49
the more inconvenient the answer, the more likely it is01:36:52
has to be right do01:36:54
pause and think about what gets you more01:36:57
you now ask yourself why is this01:37:00
it's obvious you see here01:37:02
some kind of failure but understand01:37:04
deeper is it so and what if failures01:37:07
not failure at all, what if you look at01:37:10
things at the wrong angle that's fresh01:37:13
an example from my own life01:37:15
I'm tired of my brother answering mine01:37:17
text them or why it looks like him01:37:20
I don’t care where this conclusion comes from if01:37:22
if he wanted to communicate he would find 1001:37:24
seconds a day to answer why you01:37:27
you perceive his reluctance to go out01:37:28
connection as your failure, we are brothers, we are01:37:31
must be on good terms01:37:33
There are two important things here that are important to me01:37:36
value and criterion by which I01:37:38
I appreciate the promotion of this value my01:37:40
the value brothers must have is good01:37:43
relationship with each other is my criterion01:37:45
relationships are maintained over the phone or01:37:47
email if they don't01:37:49
supported means to me as a brother01:37:51
something very important fails and I01:37:53
I'm a loser sometimes01:37:55
It's not Saturday morning that poisons you, but you can01:37:57
Drip deeper repeating the process why01:37:59
brothers should be on good terms01:38:02
because they are one family and close people01:38:04
must stay close to each other01:38:06
where does this conclusion come from because family01:38:08
more important than everything else where is this from?01:38:11
conclusion because family closeness is a thing01:38:13
normal and healthy but we don’t01:38:15
it turns out in this dialogue I admit01:38:17
it is important for me to have deep value01:38:19
good relationship with brother though01:38:21
the problem with the criterion remains I found01:38:23
criterion another name proximity but essentially01:38:26
nothing has changed my progress as01:38:28
brother I evaluate by the regularity of communication01:38:30
at the same time I compare myself with others01:38:32
my friends no matter who they are01:38:35
normal relationships with loved ones or so01:38:36
it seems that I don’t have it means with me01:38:38
something is wrong but what if I messed up01:38:41
criteria for evaluating yourself and your life01:38:43
what if I didn’t take everything into account, maybe something like this01:38:46
closeness with a brother is not at all necessary for01:38:48
good relationships that I appreciate01:38:50
there is enough mutual respect that is straight01:38:53
on the face or should seek mutual01:38:55
trust may be quite realistic01:38:57
these criteria will be more reliable01:38:59
evidence of brotherly fellowship than01:39:01
number of text messages received this ft has01:39:04
makes sense and seems intuitively true01:39:06
although doubts gnaw at the surface no matter how01:39:08
cool my brother and I are not close enough01:39:10
there is little good in this and not for any reason01:39:13
hidden advantages this fact is not01:39:14
indicates that sometimes brothers even01:39:17
those who love each other have no close01:39:19
relationships between each other are okay01:39:21
It's hard to understand at first, but it's true01:39:23
no tragedy objective truth01:39:26
the situation is not as important as the attitude towards01:39:28
it and analysis and assessment of the problem can01:39:31
there be no abyss but the meaning of every problem01:39:33
we can adjust01:39:35
control the meaning of problems by choosing01:39:37
look at them and the criterion by which we01:39:39
we will evaluate them01:39:41
rock star problems01:39:44
1983 to one talented young01:39:47
The guitarist was harshly kicked out of the band01:39:49
the band just signed a contract for01:39:51
recording the first album work must01:39:53
was about to start but a couple of days before01:39:55
the guitarist's notes pointed to the door without01:39:57
warnings without discussion without01:40:00
sorting things out one day01:40:01
day they simply woke him up and handed him01:40:04
bus ticket home he sat in01:40:06
bus that went to Los Angeles01:40:08
in new york he was sitting on a bus that01:40:10
drove from Los Angeles to New York and01:40:12
I asked myself how so where did I go wrong and01:40:15
what about recording contracts now?01:40:17
they don’t fall from the sky by themselves, especially on01:40:20
noisy upstart metalheads, is he really01:40:22
missed my only chance but besides01:40:24
the time the bus arrived01:40:26
Los Angeles guitarist overcame pity01:40:28
to himself and vowed to create a new group01:40:30
he decided that the group would be so01:40:32
successful that his former comrades01:40:34
he will regret his decision01:40:36
so famous that they01:40:38
will be seen for decades01:40:40
TV and magazines hears on the radio01:40:41
stumbling across advertising posters with it01:40:44
let the burgers live as a portrait01:40:46
rejoice at performing in clubs, are well-fed and01:40:48
drunk with their ugly wives and he01:40:51
will rock out in front of the crowds01:40:52
stadiums at concerts broadcast style01:40:54
he will bathe in his tears01:40:56
offenders and every tear will be wiped away01:40:59
a clean and crisp hundred dollar bill01:41:01
the guitarist works like a bill01:41:03
possessed by a musical demon for months01:41:05
recruited the best musicians ever01:41:07
could find much better than the previous ones01:41:09
comrades, he wrote dozens of songs around the world01:41:11
rehearsed with fanaticism devoutly01:41:13
the believer's seething anger fueled his ambition01:41:16
and the thirst for revenge became his muse did not pass01:41:19
and two years since his new group01:41:21
signed a contract for a new album and also01:41:23
a year later their first album went gold01:41:25
Guitarist his Dave Mustaine and collected01:41:28
the band is a legendary metal band01:41:30
megadeth has no sales years over 2501:41:33
million albums I piss off the whole earth01:41:35
ball these days Mustaine is considered one01:41:38
one of the brightest and most outstanding musicians in01:41:40
history of heavy metal unfortunately exposed01:41:43
out the door it’s also not the last group01:41:45
there was metallica which sold over 18001:41:47
millions of albums worldwide01:41:50
considered one of the greatest rock bands01:41:51
of all times and therefore in rare01:41:53
Mustaine's candid 2003 interview01:41:57
tearfully admitted that he still considers himself01:41:59
such success would seem like a loser01:42:02
however, he remained a man to himself01:42:04
whom we threw out of Metallica01:42:06
we consider ourselves thin monkeys01:42:09
things with all our wings and01:42:11
toasters and designer shoes but we don't01:42:13
more than monkeys in expensive outfits01:42:15
since we are monkeys we instinctively01:42:18
we measure ourselves by other people and01:42:20
vying for status means the question01:42:22
it's not worth whether we go to01:42:24
self-esteem comparison with others and in01:42:26
what criteria we use01:42:29
consciously and unconsciously01:42:30
Dave Mustaine began to evaluate himself because01:42:33
did he beat metallica in success and01:42:35
popularity dismissal from former01:42:37
the group turned out to be so01:42:39
painful that of yourself and your success and01:42:41
his musical career from now on01:42:42
measured in comparison with metallic oh instead01:42:45
in order to take an unpleasant event and01:42:47
make something positive out of it01:42:49
Mustaine came out with mega girls he turned01:42:51
the success of metallica is the main criterion01:42:53
success in life and this choice caused01:42:55
he has been in pain for decades despite01:42:57
wealth of admirers and delighted top he01:43:00
considered myself a failure, of course we01:43:03
you can take a look at his Mustaine01:43:04
for a person has to laugh from the heart01:43:07
millions of dollars hundreds of thousands of admirers01:43:09
and his favorite job and he still cries01:43:11
what his friends say about the group he's with01:43:13
Last time I spoke was 20 years ago01:43:15
much more noticeable is that01:43:18
Mustaine has the same values, and you and I01:43:20
we evaluate ourselves completely differently01:43:22
other criteria our criteria looks like01:43:24
I don't want to work for something like this01:43:26
whose boss I can’t stand or01:43:29
I wish I could get a paid job01:43:30
so that the child can study in a good01:43:32
school or would it be nice for me to wake up not in01:43:35
gutter, judging by these01:43:37
Mustaine criteria is fantastic01:43:39
unimaginably successful and based on01:43:41
his criteria will be more popular more successful01:43:44
than metallica he really is our loser01:43:46
values are determined by what01:43:48
criteria we evaluate ourselves and everyone01:43:51
the rest were valuable to the anode01:43:53
loyalty to the Japanese Empire for 30 years01:43:55
kept his spirit up in lu bangi but she01:43:58
made him unhappy upon his return01:44:00
to Japan to get ahead of Mustaine's criterion01:44:02
metallica apparently inspired him01:44:04
an extremely successful music career01:44:06
but then I brought this criterion01:44:09
suffering does not allow you to enjoy life01:44:10
if you want to change your outlook on01:44:13
problems you have to change yours01:44:15
values or your criteria for success and01:44:17
failures take another example01:44:19
musician who was also kicked out of01:44:22
group, its history vaguely resembles01:44:24
the story before his Mustaine, although it happened01:44:27
twenty years earlier I was in the yard01:44:29
1962 and it was on everyone's lips01:44:32
promising group from English01:44:34
Liverpool members had wonderful haircuts01:44:37
even more wonderful name but they played01:44:39
great and the recording industry has become01:44:42
pay attention to them there was john01:44:43
lead singer and songwriter01:44:46
romantic bass player with a boyish face01:44:48
george is the main guitarist and rebel01:44:50
in kind and there was also a drummer, he was considered01:44:53
the most beautiful of the whole company everyone01:44:55
the girls went crazy for him and that's exactly what01:44:57
his face became the first to appear in magazines01:44:59
and he was the most professional of all01:45:01
members of the group he did not use drugs01:45:03
he had a constant girlfriend and01:45:05
some people in suits and ties01:45:07
they even thought that he should be the face01:45:09
groups they were john or paul his name was pete01:45:12
best sixty-second year after01:45:14
conclusion of 1 recording contract three01:45:16
other members behind the beatles quiet01:45:18
agreed and asked for their manager01:45:19
Brian Epstein's decision to fire him01:45:22
given abs then it's hard for him01:45:24
I liked him so he cheated on everyone I hope01:45:27
that the guys will finally change their minds after01:45:29
several months in just three days01:45:31
before the start of the first recording I constantly01:45:33
invited him to his office and there without01:45:35
ceremony advised him to get lost and look for01:45:37
he didn’t explain the other group to himself01:45:39
reasons for not expressing condolences only01:45:42
said that other members of the group did not want01:45:44
work with him and if so, goodbye in01:45:47
As a replacement, the group found an eccentric01:45:49
name ringo star ringa was older had01:45:51
big funny nose he agreed01:45:53
give yourself the same role-playing haircut01:45:55
as john had hollow george and insisted01:45:58
on the fact that he will write songs about01:45:59
octopuses and submarines guys01:46:02
They said yes, for your health, why not?01:46:04
less than six months have passed since01:46:05
dismissals without how it flared up01:46:07
beatlemania john paul george ringa steel01:46:10
perhaps the most [ __ ] with their faces on01:46:12
Meanwhile, the planet best fell into deep01:46:14
depression he found something to do01:46:17
he would have surrendered to any Englishman at01:46:18
there was a reason to start drinking in the coming years01:46:21
were not kind to pete bestoo01:46:23
in sixty-five he sued01:46:25
two for the beatles and slander all of him01:46:27
musical projects suffered complete failure01:46:29
crash in sixty-two he almost01:46:31
imposed seven sixty-second he just01:46:33
didn't commit suicide mother said01:46:35
life went downhill life without you01:46:38
it turned out the story of take-off is like life before01:46:40
his Mustaine he didn't become worldwide01:46:42
famous superstar and didn't make money01:46:43
millions of dollars but in many01:46:45
things worked out better for him in his relationship01:46:47
why Mustaine in one of the interviews 9401:46:50
a year without said I'm happier than I was01:46:53
would have been shot down by us but explained why best01:46:56
circumstances and leaving the battle01:46:57
turned out so that he ended up01:46:59
met his future wife01:47:00
then he got married and had children his values01:47:03
changed he looked at life differently before01:47:06
counting words would not hurt, but more important01:47:08
was something he already had more of01:47:11
large and loving family, stable marriage01:47:13
and simple life he even continued to play01:47:16
on the drum he gave tours around Europe and01:47:18
recorded albums up to the 2000s01:47:20
so what did he lose, lost attention and01:47:23
the adoration of the crowds but the newfound one meant for01:47:25
there is much more of him judging by these01:47:27
stories some values and criteria01:47:29
better than others they lead to good01:47:31
problems that are easy and regular01:47:34
solved others lead to bad problems01:47:36
which is solved through the stump deck and01:47:38
rarely rotten values some common01:47:42
values create extremely unpleasant for people01:47:44
problems problems that are almost not01:47:47
let's take a look at them briefly01:47:49
who doesn't like to receive pleasure?01:47:51
it's a pleasure to make him the main one01:47:54
value is not worth asking anyone01:47:56
what the search for a drug addict turned out to be like for him01:47:58
fun ask the unfaithful wife01:48:00
who destroyed her family and lost01:48:02
did the children have fun and01:48:04
happy ask the person who01:48:06
I almost died from gluttony, I decided or01:48:08
pleasure his problems pleasure01:48:10
research shows this is a false god01:48:13
people who focus their energy on01:48:15
surfaces of pleasure become01:48:17
more anxious more emotional01:48:18
unstable and more depressed01:48:21
pleasure is the most superficial of forms01:48:24
single satisfaction and therefore it01:48:26
easiest to get and easiest01:48:28
lose and still they advertise to us01:48:31
pleasure 24 hours a day about us at01:48:33
here's the thing: we use pleasure01:48:36
to numb the pain and distract yourself01:48:38
pleasure although necessary in life01:48:40
in moderate doses on its own01:48:41
not enough she is not the reason for happiness but01:48:44
rather its consequences if you establish01:48:46
rest other values criteria01:48:49
pleasure comes naturally01:48:51
material success self-esteem of many01:48:54
people based on how much money they have01:48:56
earn what car he drives and01:48:58
how much greener is the lawn in front of the house and01:49:00
better maintained than the neighbor's01:49:03
show after a person can01:49:05
satisfy basic physical01:49:06
needs and shelter and so on01:49:09
correlation between happiness and earthly01:49:11
success quickly tends to zero by others01:49:13
words if you are starving live on01:49:15
street in some Indian city01:49:17
an extra 10 thousand dollars is significant01:49:20
will increase your happiness but if you01:49:22
belong to the middle class in01:49:23
developed country extra 10 thousand dollars01:49:26
working on it won't change anything01:49:28
wear overtime and weekends almost01:49:30
revaluation will bring nothing01:49:32
material success is fraught with the fact that01:49:35
ultimately placed above others01:49:36
values of honesty non-violence01:49:39
compassion when people judge themselves not01:49:41
by their behavior and by the ones available to them01:49:43
status symbol it not only says01:49:45
about their surface, most likely they also01:49:47
moral monsters01:49:49
constant rightness our brain machines with01:49:52
with flaws we often build01:49:55
erroneous premises we evaluate incorrectly01:49:57
probabilities and facts are assumed01:49:59
cognitive failure and make a decision01:50:01
I obey the emotional whim alone01:50:04
in a word, we are people and that means we make mistakes again01:50:06
and again01:50:07
therefore, if the criteria for success in life01:50:09
you think you are right01:50:12
difficult efforts ahead to justify01:50:14
his own idiocy, moreover01:50:17
people who evaluate themselves by01:50:18
the ability to be right in everything does not give01:50:21
They don’t have the ability to learn from mistakes01:50:23
opportunities to acquire a new point of view01:50:25
to get used to other people's experience they close themselves01:50:27
much more from new important information01:50:29
it’s more useful to consider yourself ignorant01:50:31
study and study so you will avoid many01:50:33
superstitions will not potkin illiterate01:50:36
in it you can constantly grow and multiply01:50:38
knowledge positive attitude and there is also01:50:41
people whose self-esteem is determined01:50:43
ability to react positively01:50:45
Almost everyone has lost their job01:50:48
great, you can get serious about something you've been doing for a long time01:50:50
hobby husband cheated on you with your sister01:50:52
Well, at least you understood a lot01:50:55
you mean to your loved ones a child dies01:50:57
for throat cancer, but you won’t have to pay01:50:59
for college, of course, understand everything in01:51:01
in a positive way has its advantages, but alas01:51:04
life is lousy sometimes and it wouldn't be01:51:06
it's great not to notice the denial01:51:08
negative emotions lead to deeper01:51:10
and longer lasting negative emotions and01:51:13
emotional dysfunction constantly01:51:15
being positive means hiding01:51:17
head in the sand so life's problem is not01:51:19
can be solved although if you don’t confuse it with01:51:21
values criteria these problems will be01:51:23
energizer motivate such is life01:51:26
things are going where people are upset01:51:28
Accidents happen because of this01:51:31
you feel like [ __ ] and that's normal01:51:33
negative emotions are negative01:51:35
components of emotional health01:51:36
denying them means perpetuating problems01:51:39
they decide their correct approach to01:51:42
emotional negativity is01:51:43
next they need to be expressed socially01:51:46
acceptable healthy way they need01:51:48
express your values01:51:50
Let's take a trivial example, I appreciate it01:51:52
non-violence and for me the criterion is not violence01:51:54
don't get into a fight, so if I01:51:57
got angry, I don't hide my anger, but I try01:51:59
don't punch your opponent in the face radical01:52:02
idea I know but anger is not the problem anger is01:52:05
thing is natural and this is part of life01:52:06
perhaps in many situations he even01:52:08
together let's not forget emotions01:52:11
response but hitting people01:52:13
face this problem is not anger anger01:52:15
only provokes a blow, he shouldn’t be blamed01:52:18
and my fist or my face when we01:52:21
forcing yourself to remain positive01:52:23
environment we deny the existence of vital01:52:25
problems and when we deny the presence01:52:27
problems we deprive ourselves of opportunities01:52:29
solve them and feel the happiness of the problem01:52:32
give life a sense of meaning and01:52:33
importance, avoiding problems means01:52:36
lead a meaningless life even01:52:38
outwardly comfortable after running a marathon we will01:52:41
happier than eating chocolate cake01:52:43
raising a child brings more01:52:45
happier than winning a video game01:52:47
starting a small business me with friends01:52:50
will bring a lot of trouble how to make ends meet01:52:52
with the ends the greatest pleasure than01:52:55
buying a new computer is a chore01:52:57
takes time and nerves to have to01:52:59
solve problem after problem, however, do not01:53:02
however, there is a lot of joy and meaning here01:53:04
despite suffering the problem of anger01:53:06
despair afterwards when the job is done01:53:09
we are from the prison and tell our grandson about it01:53:12
Freud once said in retrospect01:53:14
the years spent in the struggle will seem to you01:53:16
the most beautiful that's why these01:53:19
values pleasure material success01:53:21
property rights then a positive attitude is not01:53:23
suitable as life ideals01:53:25
some of the best moments in life are not01:53:28
filled with joy and success of knowledge and01:53:30
therefore it is necessary to outline the positive01:53:32
correct values criteria01:53:33
pleasure with success is a must01:53:35
they will come they can't help but come it01:53:38
values are correct and without them01:53:40
pleasure is just a drug01:53:42
identify good and bad values01:53:44
good values are based in reality01:53:48
social constructive01:53:50
directly and control the bad01:53:53
values are divorced from reality socially01:53:56
destructive immediate and not01:53:58
we control honesty is good01:54:01
the days you have full value are01:54:03
control it reflects reality and01:54:05
useful to others, although not always01:54:07
nice on the other hand popularity01:54:10
bad value if you put it in01:54:12
the cornerstone and your criteria outshine everyone01:54:14
at the dance party many01:54:16
subsequent events will be beyond your control01:54:18
control01:54:19
you don’t know which other guests will come and01:54:21
how bright they will be and01:54:23
moreover, far from attractive01:54:25
the fact that you correctly assess the situation01:54:27
perhaps you will feel01:54:29
popular and unpopular whereas in01:54:31
in reality it's the other way around by the way when01:54:33
people are afraid of what people will think of them01:54:35
surrounding01:54:36
they are often afraid of just what those around them01:54:38
agree with the crap they are01:54:40
thinks of himself as examples of good and healthy01:54:43
values honesty innovation vulnerability01:54:46
ability to stand up for oneself ability to protect01:54:49
others self-esteem curiosity01:54:51
mercy modesty creativity examples01:54:54
bad and unhealthy values power01:54:57
through manipulation and violence, sex with someone01:54:59
gotta have a constant positive attitude01:55:01
constantly be the center of attention01:55:03
or company universal love wealth01:55:07
killing animals for wealth01:55:09
notice the glory of the pagan gods, good and01:55:12
healthy values are realized at01:55:14
internal level, let's say creativity and01:55:16
humility can be felt even now01:55:19
just tune your brain to it01:55:21
values directly controlled01:55:23
and leave you in touch with reality01:55:25
they take the imaginary world away bad01:55:28
values are usually tied to external01:55:30
events are necessary for them to be realized01:55:33
fly private jet forever listen01:55:35
about one's own rightness to have a mansion on01:55:37
Bahamas and eat the channel while01:55:40
three strippers make you no can01:55:42
it sounds nice but the values are bad01:55:45
are beyond your control and are often01:55:47
for their implementation one cannot do without01:55:49
socially destructive and dangerous01:55:51
funds in general is a matter of priorities01:55:53
who doesn't want a good channel or home01:55:56
in the Bahamas but we need to deal with01:55:58
priorities what values we put in01:56:00
the most important thing is what values are most important01:56:02
influences our decision01:56:04
the highest value of the dick anode was complete01:56:07
loyalty and service to the Japanese Empire as01:56:10
it is easy to understand from his biography this01:56:12
value stank worse than rotten fish01:56:14
and heor had a lot of problems from her01:56:16
he was stuck on a distant island for 30 years01:56:19
tried with beetles, worms and even01:56:21
felt the need to kill civilians01:56:23
and innocent residents therefore although he01:56:25
considered his life a success and01:56:27
met its criteria, we think01:56:29
we all agree that his life was complete01:56:31
crap none of us would like01:56:33
to be in his place and would not praise01:56:35
his actions Dave Mustaine achieved greatness01:56:38
fame but felt like a loser why01:56:41
yes because I chose a stupid one01:56:43
value changes your success to someone else's01:56:45
success is wrapped in a solid head01:56:47
pain how to sell for 150 million01:56:49
more albums on how to assemble a stadium on01:56:51
on tour, they say then everything will work out01:56:53
and happiness will come, no wonder it01:56:56
didn't come the polar opposite of pita01:56:58
at first he was depressed01:57:00
shocked because of the dismissal but with age01:57:02
rearrange your priorities and found01:57:04
other important measures and therefore in the elderly01:57:06
aged evil with yourself happy01:57:08
a healthy guy with a well-established life and a big01:57:10
family what about the other four Beatles01:57:12
improve a decade of hard work01:57:14
if we made a mistake in the scene and if we01:57:17
established for themselves and for those around them01:57:19
wrong standards we constantly01:57:21
we go crazy over things we don't have01:57:23
meaning and only spoil our lives but01:57:26
if we made the right choice then our01:57:28
concerns are aimed at things that are healthy and worthwhile01:57:30
which improves our condition bring01:57:33
happiness, pleasure and success are the essence01:57:36
put self-improvement at the forefront01:57:38
corner great correct values01:57:40
there are better things to worry about because01:57:43
if you spent select what it's about01:57:45
you will worry and you will have problems01:57:46
healthy and if there is a problem01:57:48
If you're healthy, your life will be better01:57:50
the rest of the book is devoted to 501:57:53
most paradoxical in my opinion01:57:54
useful values they all take into account01:57:57
the law of reverse force which we are talking about01:57:59
they said because they are all negative01:58:02
imply a willingness to meet halfway01:58:03
deep-seated problems and not shy away from01:58:05
they are hiding narcotic oblivion these01:58:08
five values non-standard uncomfortable but01:58:11
they can change your life for starters01:58:13
in the next chapter we will look at01:58:15
radical form of responsibility01:58:17
responsibility for everything that happens01:58:19
our lives no matter who01:58:21
guilty then we'll talk about this01:58:23
values as uncertainty recognition01:58:26
your ignorance and necessity01:58:27
constantly question your01:58:29
looks then move on to failure01:58:31
willingness to recognize one's shortcomings and01:58:33
errors to get rid of them later01:58:36
We investigate the failure of the ability to hear and01:58:38
saying no thereby defining what we01:58:41
we accept and do not accept in our lives and01:58:43
the last value is the ability to look into01:58:45
facing your mortality is very important01:58:48
after all, it is the constant memory of death01:58:50
helps us see other values in01:58:53
in the right lightDescription:
Телеграм-канал - https://t.me/bo_brovs Как поднять самооценку? Как сосредоточиться на главном? Как успокоить ум, отбросить весь лишний шум в голове, и, наконец, СДЕЛАТЬ СЕБЯ! Современное общество пропагандирует культ успеха: будь умнее, богаче, продуктивнее — будь лучше всех. Соцсети изобилуют историями на тему, как какой-то малец придумал приложение и заработал кучу денег, статьями в духе «Тысяча и один способ быть счастливым», а фото во френдленте создают впечатление, что окружающие живут лучше и интереснее, чем мы. Однако наша зацикленность на позитиве и успехе лишь напоминает о том, чего мы не достигли, о мечтах, которые не сбылись. Как же стать по-настоящему счастливым? Подписывайся на мой канал: https://www.youtube.com/vsbobrovskiy Слушай мои другие аудиокниги: Мясо Для Слабаков - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm_ynTGmErw Шокирующая правда о Воде и Соли - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4W8LR7rp3PI Жизнь Без Еды - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE874uYysIU ____________ ©Все авторские права принадлежат их законным владельцам. Если Вы являетесь автором и распространение ущемляет Ваши авторские права просим связаться с нами. [email protected]
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