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стендап

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нурлан сабуров

стендап 2019

иван абрамов

юлия ахмедова

руслан белый

stand up 6 сезон

stand up тнт

телеканал тнт

алексей щербаков

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русский юмор

виктория складчикова

вика складчикова

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про отношения

про бывшего

необходимые вещи

talk

стендап

викторияскладчикова

00:00:01

[music]

00:00:03

Victoria Skladchikova

00:00:05

[applause]

00:00:12

Hello Hello,

00:00:16

so you know, I realized recently that

00:00:19

I realize time differently, look, I don’t

00:00:22

know about you, but when they tell me about

00:00:24

some person, he was born in 2000,

00:00:26

I’m like, but he’s 10,

00:00:30

then you come for a day birth sauna

00:00:33

prostitutes viskar everyone is sucking I'm standing like

00:00:35

this with a kinder surprise I came up with the idea

00:00:38

thank God I ate his foil to him I gave it to him it seems

00:00:39

like everyone is happy ok ok

00:00:44

I'm very young I feel very If I

00:00:47

was surrounded by young people now there is a guy who is

00:00:49

younger than me but I'm lucky that he

00:00:51

looks bad so it's clean visually

00:00:53

we are the same age, even older, look even

00:00:56

older thanks to me, what I tell him is

00:00:59

normal for suckers, your sandals are also

00:01:02

normal,

00:01:04

you can’t hide those socks behind closed

00:01:07

shoes, calm down, he has expensive

00:01:10

things, there are

00:01:12

expensive ones, even BMW,

00:01:15

it says on his cap of course

00:01:20

Oh, I’m not against the age difference, it doesn’t

00:01:22

even matter What is your

00:01:24

age difference in a couple But I think that a girl

00:01:26

should look younger to a couple, so

00:01:27

Girls, if your guy is younger, look at the

00:01:29

advice to you, do everything to make him look

00:01:31

worse, this is normal. Here I have him

00:01:34

near the microwave, sleeping because there,

00:01:35

this wave of radiation is good

00:01:38

Yes, of course, normal advice

00:01:42

I work with young boys, but don’t you know

00:01:44

recently, a woman has it. She

00:01:47

had an orgasm the day before, you can see

00:01:49

she’s always cheerful and her eyes are shining.

00:01:53

Maybe she just drank,

00:01:56

think at least a little. Yes, guys

00:02:00

I don’t always think that you know there is a

00:02:03

poster Come on depression And after

00:02:05

an orgasm

00:02:07

you lie there like that and for this in

00:02:12

Odintsovo

00:02:14

everything could have been done

00:02:16

remotely but where did I go so

00:02:18

let’s ask you Tell me that you

00:02:22

will choose

00:02:23

great sex but in Odintsovo or so-so

00:02:27

but in Moscow City

00:02:29

[music]

00:02:31

Moscow City

00:02:34

there is bad bad sex you will then be

00:02:37

very sad and for a very long time to go down from the 92nd floor

00:02:41

and then go to Odintsovo all the time

00:02:43

Why not

00:02:48

Sorry Moscow City you will always

00:02:50

seem distracted

00:02:52

in Khrushchev,

00:02:55

orgasm is the only thing he can

00:02:57

offer you, it’s

00:03:00

easier for him to bring you to orgasm than to the

00:03:03

metro, of course,

00:03:04

Lyubertsy Yes, it’s okay, not

00:03:09

Moscow City, first of all, you’re maximally

00:03:11

concentrated,

00:03:14

maximum concentration on your partner,

00:03:16

eye to eye, He’s still a little bit like that, he

00:03:18

closes his face like that

00:03:22

I didn’t see that the grandmother was still

00:03:24

sleeping a little in the room. Therefore, of course,

00:03:30

I’m a guy who lives in Bibirevo, I don’t go to see him,

00:03:34

but that’s not why I think look like

00:03:35

if a couple meets and live

00:03:37

separately, then the guy still has to

00:03:40

spend the night and go to the girl’s because I

00:03:42

need to go to them, cosmetics, creams,

00:03:44

pajamas, all the washbasins, we packed everything, I

00:03:47

called Gazelkin, we’re going everything. Of course, it’s

00:03:49

already amazing, he’s carrying nothing

00:03:52

with him, well, what are you, washbasins, I

00:03:54

have something to wash my face with at home,

00:03:57

you know, he has water, water,

00:04:02

soap soap You know, in which you

00:04:05

can no longer cut veins,

00:04:11

but now I

00:04:13

asked the men, Come on, we’re sitting here normally

00:04:16

now, look, today

00:04:18

a girl tells you

00:04:19

to come spend the night, that you’ll quickly take some soap with you

00:04:24

and wash something in the back or something.

00:04:28

Well, the toothbrush doesn’t appear or not

00:04:32

March 8 Damn, it’s not true here,

00:04:35

my boyfriend is moving, he can

00:04:36

forget everything All main iqos

00:04:39

if you forgot his [ __ ] in Bibirevo

00:04:42

to pick it up,

00:04:47

we went to this Altai village, there

00:04:51

was a village there, he forgot, they just don’t sell it there, he

00:04:54

just walked around for a week, a dog’s ass I smelled

00:04:56

that it was somehow compensated for a little bit,

00:05:01

but the truth is, I tell him, You’re coming to me,

00:05:04

But here’s a toothbrush. You ca

00:05:06

n’t take it like that. You have it.

00:05:09

I say, I also have a razor. Yes, I know.

00:05:16

I admit, in general, I

00:05:18

like pig guys more. I like the clean ones,

00:05:20

these Super ones don’t scare me. I think there’s something

00:05:22

manic about them, yes. So I came to see

00:05:25

my friend, I go in. So,

00:05:27

all his things are sorted by color, all the books are in

00:05:29

alphabetical order, that’s all your girls are

00:05:32

leaving in packages, goodbye,

00:05:35

so I’m fine with pigs,

00:05:37

but I’m not particularly clean myself, I used to clean up

00:05:41

before the guy, I washed everything everywhere

00:05:43

now no, now I’m here as it is, I’m

00:05:45

saying Love me as I am

00:05:47

Especially since you’ll leave, he’s not semi-stuck

00:05:49

you'll get away, everything is fine, but I have advantages, you

00:05:52

know, the guy is jealous of me, that's how

00:05:55

girls should be jealous,

00:05:57

men should be a little bit so that we

00:05:59

feel attractive, he knows how to

00:06:00

come home He's like Who

00:06:03

brought you I say the taxis broke down

00:06:08

a little bit - a little

00:06:13

oh, in fact, I give reasons for a

00:06:17

man’s jealousy, but I just have to

00:06:18

hate anything right away, I’m with a former friend, but he’s

00:06:22

good because he’s a

00:06:23

good person, but he does charity

00:06:25

work, he helps dogs from the period,

00:06:27

I met a good

00:06:29

man,

00:06:30

a dream, every girl will understand, but everyone

00:06:33

you know why I see him because

00:06:34

there is coffee because there is no one I really

00:06:36

like this dialogue when he says that there is

00:06:39

someone, he tells me no,

00:06:42

I have, I see that I have to sit with him

00:06:44

alone,

00:06:46

so girls, stick to the good exes, the

00:06:49

bad one ex he will point out You

00:06:52

know what you think If only

00:06:54

you had everything in [ __ ] My whole life is in [ __ ]

00:06:57

I’m cool I have one

00:06:59

like that, you know when I was already

00:07:01

living in Moscow I already starred in a stand-up comedy

00:07:04

I already tried this mojito without spilling it and

00:07:06

I wrote to him There, the former TNT

00:07:11

turn on in the Maldives doesn’t catch him Oh, you

00:07:14

[ __ ], you compete with me even more of

00:07:19

a specialty as you wrote Like that,

00:07:21

don’t write to me at all You’re distracting me from

00:07:23

sex Yaga I understand it’s

00:07:26

hard to text on all

00:07:28

fours I understand everything Everything’s fine

00:07:29

for now

00:07:31

[applause ]

00:07:34

[music] the

00:07:38

last two years in the world have not been very good,

00:07:42

we are with this quarantine at home How we were in prison for the

00:07:44

last two years on TNT there were no

00:07:48

new Real boys

00:07:57

[music]

00:07:59

[applause]

00:08:02

Real boys new season from August 29

00:08:06

at 8 pm on TNT

00:08:19

[ music]

Description:

Производство: Comedy Club Production StandUp в соц. сетях: Vk: https://vk.com/brandnewshow Teleg: https://t.me/stndptnt Телеканал ТНТ в соц. сетях: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFKDcjx5ekaoMog_9zw82fA YouTube Shorts: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmVoIfd7II6lVCTovtncaNQ VK: https://vk.com/tnt Telegram: https://t.me/TNT_television Rutube: https://rutube.ru/u/tnt/ Ok: https://ok.ru/tnt

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