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  • ruRussian
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00:00:02
actually speak Spanish there hablamos
00:00:05
Espen
00:00:07
my best dad joke I don't have one why
00:00:10
would you include the dad joke prompt if
00:00:11
you don't have a joke no hun I don't
00:00:13
have a dad oh my favorite Ben 10 Alien
00:00:17
Force character random baby
00:00:19
[Laughter]
00:00:21
I remember the episode he turned into
00:00:23
random baby in 1987 a man working as a
00:00:26
shoe salesman could support a family and
00:00:28
still own a home like this they stole
00:00:30
this from us they specifically and
00:00:33
intentionally took this from Our
00:00:36
Generations they did it on purpose they
00:00:38
are evil something cool about Healthcare
00:00:41
in America is that I pay 341 dollars
00:00:43
every month for insurance and now after
00:00:46
my old hearing aids stopped working I
00:00:48
have the option of paying 1500 for a 2
00:00:51
000 hearing aid or paying sixty dollars
00:00:54
for wait for it a 60 hearing aid America
00:00:58
turns out you can't dry plates in a
00:01:01
dryer well what the hell gives why call
00:01:04
it a dryer if there are some things I
00:01:06
can't dry in it seems kinda lame to me
00:01:09
British mother reveals how she left her
00:01:11
partner of 29 years and lost 80 000
00:01:14
pounds to a catfish con artist on
00:01:16
Facebook who made her feel loved using
00:01:18
photos of Latvia's Silver Fox defense
00:01:20
minister G Jesus dude bet Fitbit is
00:01:24
rethinking this one get Will Smith
00:01:26
strong
00:01:27
oh Fitbit I'll never forgive you ever
00:01:30
not for this I'm pretty sure Fitbit
00:01:33
destroyed Pebble you know the greatest
00:01:35
Smart Watch of all time duct tape fixes
00:01:38
everything it's not gonna fix that hole
00:01:40
in your heart I'm just kidding if it can
00:01:42
fix a gas pump it can fix that
00:01:44
Frankenstein enters into a bodybuilding
00:01:46
competition and finds he has seriously
00:01:48
misunderstood the objective for the last
00:01:51
time Frankenstein was the name of the
00:01:53
doctor a doctor who built a body doctors
00:01:56
hate this one simple trick to cure strep
00:02:00
throat using a hair tie the homeopathic
00:02:03
strep remedy put a hair tie on her
00:02:05
wrists at the anti-nausea pressure
00:02:08
points feel be better little one so
00:02:11
strep throat right I have to do
00:02:14
something regarding nausea that's how it
00:02:16
works tell us again the story about how
00:02:18
you met mom Jesse Waters volunteered on
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air he started dating a wow why is this
00:02:26
written like this let me try again Jesse
00:02:29
Waters volunteered on air he started
00:02:31
dating a younger producer after he
00:02:32
deflated her tires she couldn't go
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anywhere she needed a lift I said you
00:02:36
need a lift she hopped right in the car
00:02:38
he was married to another woman at the
00:02:40
time classy yeah that's wow weapon of
00:02:45
choice a jar of hornets if I had a jar
00:02:48
of hornets and I walked into a store
00:02:49
with them and told the cashier to give
00:02:51
them something or give me something for
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free or I'd open the jar could they have
00:02:55
me arrested yes you're robbing them and
00:02:58
with what could be considered a deadly
00:02:59
weapon I guess Elon Musk has almost 300
00:03:02
billion dollars in net worth he could
00:03:05
give every American a billion dollars
00:03:07
but instead he wants to buy Twitter huh
00:03:10
I do like math this 60 Minutes interview
00:03:13
with George Lucas unknowingly used fan
00:03:15
made art that depicts Leonardo DiCaprio
00:03:17
as Jedi Anakin Skywalker
00:03:21
uh it's not even good friendly reminder
00:03:23
that anime is a form of Insidious
00:03:25
propaganda used to distract people from
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Japan's war crimes okay who the hell is
00:03:30
Paul McCartney this is why I love Kanye
00:03:32
for Shining Light on unknown artists who
00:03:35
is this Paul McCartney he bout to blow
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up thanks to Kanye I don't know who Paul
00:03:39
McCartney is but Kanye's gonna give this
00:03:41
man a career with this new song
00:03:44
okay right Kentucky Fried Chicken should
00:03:48
know better than to only serve chicken
00:03:50
it's 1am and there's a drunk girl in KFC
00:03:53
crying because all they have on the menu
00:03:54
is chicken and she doesn't want chicken
00:03:56
what a weird choice of restaurant to go
00:03:58
to then Florida man climbs atop
00:04:00
playground equipment at Clearwater Park
00:04:02
tells kids where babies come from where
00:04:04
they come from hey guys so I need help
00:04:07
please no negative comments I'm just
00:04:09
trying to help so I rescued these four
00:04:10
kittens super small they're covered in
00:04:13
fleas head to toe I gave them all a bath
00:04:14
and dish soap and set them up in my tub
00:04:16
for the night with my breast milk to
00:04:18
drink any suggestions what I should do I
00:04:21
already have two cats of my own okay I'm
00:04:24
sick of the US government I'm moving to
00:04:25
California us my boyfriend literally got
00:04:29
me some chocolate and a card for
00:04:30
Valentine's Day like when I say I want
00:04:32
chocolate I really want to ring her a
00:04:34
necklace just because I say I want
00:04:35
something doesn't mean I really want it
00:04:37
holy you are such a big bullet I hope he
00:04:39
learns how to dodge you not every job
00:04:41
should have a living wage That's not
00:04:43
healthy for society it's not healthy for
00:04:46
someone making ice cream cones at Dairy
00:04:48
Queen to make enough to live off of you
00:04:50
want a society that actually can't live
00:04:52
off these jobs so you recognize that
00:04:55
it's a job that needs to be done you
00:04:57
need your ice cream at 10 pm don't you
00:05:01
but you believe the person that's doing
00:05:02
that job doesn't deserve to live great I
00:05:05
hope that you're banned from Dairy Queen
00:05:07
for life now joke or not it's not funny
00:05:10
Lions can hunt and kill their own food
00:05:12
by the time they're three months old my
00:05:14
three-year-old couldn't find her
00:05:16
lunchbox and it was in her other hand I
00:05:18
can't believe we're at the top of the
00:05:19
food chain we made guns arcade machine
00:05:22
at my work just got this error windows
00:05:25
is not genuine of course it's not it's a
00:05:28
flight to Mars what could it cost Elon
00:05:31
Musk says almost anyone can afford one
00:05:34
hundred thousand dollar ticket to Mars
00:05:36
yeah let me take out a mortgage to visit
00:05:39
Mars what a [ __ ] how to let everyone
00:05:42
know that you're a piece of [ __ ] men
00:05:45
cheat accidentally women cheat to hurt
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you right you keep telling yourself that
00:05:50
one big boy in a preview of another
00:05:52
upcoming Tucker Carlson special he
00:05:54
brings on two butchers to talk about
00:05:56
their theory that extraterrestrials from
00:05:58
UFOs are mutilating cattle in New Mexico
00:06:01
nothing says hard-hitting totally normal
00:06:04
journalism like pouty face mcfad Tucker
00:06:08
Carlson Florida man dies an explosion
00:06:10
after attempting to microwave a
00:06:11
microwave well now we know what happens
00:06:13
and his sacrifice will never be
00:06:15
forgotten see this monstrosity
00:06:17
everywhere around town but finally got a
00:06:20
picture NASA is a hoax they know what
00:06:24
you are Oh I thought that said what I
00:06:27
can't even read this thing they know
00:06:28
that you are stupid does that say fakie
00:06:31
fakie flat earth101.com don't go there
00:06:35
I'm sure you'll get some kind of malware
00:06:37
breaking news test story this is a test
00:06:41
story staff writer The Courier mail this
00:06:43
is a test story this is a test story The
00:06:46
American Dream she puts the cash in cash
00:06:49
me outside how the hell did she make all
00:06:51
this money I do not get where she got it
00:06:54
all this guy told his job he didn't want
00:06:56
a birthday party because of his anxiety
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they threw him one anyways he had a
00:07:00
panic attack they fired him for his
00:07:02
behavior and he sued them now they owe
00:07:04
him almost half a million dollars good
00:07:07
those people yes sunlight in Florida is
00:07:11
definitely a paranormal event can anyone
00:07:14
explain what this object shining across
00:07:16
my friend's chest what uh
00:07:20
looks like a ghostly blade to me we were
00:07:23
just visiting Saint Petersburg uh yes
00:07:25
it's a ghost knife commas are important
00:07:28
people commas aren't people this guy
00:07:30
posting a crime he committed I hit a
00:07:33
parked car and ran but mine barely got
00:07:35
damaged oh
00:07:37
boy you're smart I bought that specific
00:07:40
power bar model to simplify my wife's
00:07:42
issues with chargers how'd that go
00:07:45
Burger King Denmark 3.4 kilo of proteins
00:07:49
in a 150 gram burger for zero calories
00:07:52
now I gotta say that's damn impressive
00:07:56
why can't we do that anti-5g necklace is
00:07:59
found to be radioactive dude genius
00:08:02
grift absolutely genius wonder how much
00:08:04
money they made let's say hypothetically
00:08:06
for the sake of the argument I used Ben
00:08:09
Shapiro's argument strategies on my own
00:08:12
research paper for English class why did
00:08:15
I fail how old were you when you
00:08:17
realized your original plan of being
00:08:19
really nice working really hard and
00:08:21
taking on much more than you should in
00:08:22
the hope you would be automatically
00:08:24
rewarded for this without asking was
00:08:25
total eight years old seems about right
00:08:28
China may be using C to hide its
00:08:32
submarines holy crap you can do that
00:08:34
tracks left by a pair of Crocs helps
00:08:37
connect 20 22 year old man to burglaries
00:08:39
Crocs plastic shoes left tread marks
00:08:41
that helped link a 22 year old Fairbanks
00:08:43
man to downtown burglaries authorities
00:08:45
said barai was hungry and you gave me
00:08:48
food I was thirsty and you gave me drink
00:08:50
a stranger and you welcomed me I was
00:08:53
sick and you voted to gut my health care
00:08:55
I was an immigrant and you rejected your
00:08:57
own Reform Bill I was poor and you cut
00:09:00
taxes for rich people
00:09:02
so tired of all this absolutely
00:09:05
terrifying number 12 was Slipknot the 13
00:09:09
scariest bands of all time kiss oh my
00:09:13
God they're right kisses horrifying so
00:09:15
because I said I have a boyfriend you've
00:09:17
stopped calling me that means you were
00:09:19
not serious okay this review left on a
00:09:22
pair of unisex Racing shoes terrible
00:09:25
shoelaces cushiony but terrible quality
00:09:28
for the price the shoelaces are awful
00:09:31
these shoes are obviously made for male
00:09:33
Runners with lots of free time as
00:09:35
evidenced by their sizing not for moms
00:09:38
who work full-time demanding careers
00:09:40
wake up at 4am to run and also study
00:09:42
part-time with three small kids I don't
00:09:44
have 10 minutes to get my shoelaces off
00:09:46
in the morning I don't have five minutes
00:09:48
I don't have two minutes shoelaces
00:09:50
should not be able to be untouched what
00:09:52
okay why I could not tell you
00:09:56
ugly and 225 bucks Nike is cracked
00:10:00
Florida man Rex liquor store blames it
00:10:03
on caterpillar I mean have we checked
00:10:05
out where the caterpillars were at the
00:10:07
time of this breaking and entering stood
00:10:09
student dies reenacting Christ's
00:10:11
crucifixion so it was a success and he
00:10:14
did a really good job yep as stupid as
00:10:16
it sounds Pittsburgh mahlers Cut deviant
00:10:20
I'm sorry I don't know how to pronounce
00:10:21
his name for requesting Pizza instead of
00:10:23
chicken salad sikh's reinstatement what
00:10:27
people who leave their phone set to
00:10:29
military time are war criminals how do
00:10:31
you look at 1605 and go wow I can
00:10:33
understand that Bootleggers what next
00:10:35
you gotta go join the army recruit me
00:10:38
Americans be like okay I can't count
00:10:40
past 12 actually
00:10:42
an Appalachian appellation I don't
00:10:46
really know and I don't really care town
00:10:48
was told a Bitcoin mine would bring an
00:10:51
economic boom it got noise pollution and
00:10:53
an eyesore supporters of the crypto
00:10:55
plant promised an expanded tax base and
00:10:58
job creation okay 200
00:11:01
000 people willingly download an app
00:11:03
that allows the government to track
00:11:04
their location and the people they meet
00:11:06
how much will this information be sold
00:11:08
for and to who whom will it be sold the
00:11:11
truth is Stranger Than Fiction it sure
00:11:13
is Marcus it sure is I'm shocked no one
00:11:17
took him up on his offer looking for
00:11:19
someone interested in helping me finish
00:11:21
removing my tattoo I have a laser
00:11:23
preferably a woman interested in the
00:11:25
trait of tattoos and tattoo removal and
00:11:27
Etc okay what the hell why did no one
00:11:31
tell me about this setting on my phone
00:11:33
silence unknown callers what I just
00:11:37
the wording is just astounding Keith
00:11:41
Urban how my wife Nicole Kidman saved my
00:11:44
life the singer talks about how he
00:11:46
fought addiction music and his wife
00:11:48
Nicole Kidman I told my co-worker that
00:11:50
our dog's vet was booked for a solid
00:11:52
month and asked her where she took her
00:11:54
dog she said she didn't feel comfortable
00:11:56
sharing that information I just don't
00:11:58
get how the world works anymore people
00:12:00
are just selfish and arrogant about
00:12:01
weird little things that's not news
00:12:03
remember to unplug your phone before
00:12:06
putting it in your pocket and walking
00:12:07
away oh don't worry I have never had
00:12:10
that problem but I'll keep it in mind
00:12:12
Jesus died for our sins okay but he
00:12:15
didn't stay dead right so what exactly
00:12:17
did he sacrifice Jesus gave up his
00:12:20
weekend for your sins I don't think it's
00:12:22
so much about the amount of time he
00:12:24
stayed dead I think it's more about what
00:12:26
he had to go through it first you know
00:12:29
pretty pretty nasty Florida man
00:12:31
impersonates police for discount at
00:12:34
Wendy's really you went through all that
00:12:36
for a discount at Wendy's somebody born
00:12:40
in 2020 will see the year 3000 when
00:12:42
they're 80. that's wild oh no confused
00:12:45
unga bunga's here I understand
00:12:46
completely those damn youth in there
00:12:48
ability to use modern technology is
00:12:51
because we try I've known plenty of 75
00:12:55
plus year olds that are stupidly in the
00:12:57
know when it comes to Tech like they get
00:12:59
it and it's because they put in three
00:13:01
seconds of effort rather than whining
00:13:04
like a red-faced three-year-old today's
00:13:06
three-year-olds can switch on laptops
00:13:08
and open their favorite apps me when I
00:13:11
was three I ate mud wow I bet you were a
00:13:14
really happy child yeah super happy

Description:

Top posts from r/Facepalm on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at https://www.reddit.com/r/EmKay ! Video credits below. Get some EmKay merch at https://emkayshop.com/ ! Narrator ► https://twitter.com/xycronva Also check out: r/A*sholedesign | ARGHGHH https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zgc0Tts6n7Q r/Cursedcomments | do not click this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTimipID8bk r/Madlads | STOP THIS MAN https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6Zh2rWP1_8

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