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Download "Дело пахнет мандарином | Уральские пельмени 2021"

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уральские пельмени
азбука уральских пельменей
уральские пельмени последний выпуск
уральские пельмени 2021
стс
стс медиа
стс сериалы
стс онлайн
юмористическое шоу уральские пельмени
уральские пельмени лучшее
уральские пельмени премьера на стс
уральские пельмени новое
ксения корнева
дмитрий брекоткин
вячеслав мясников
дмитрий соколов
сергей рожков
уральские пельмени новое 2021
дело пахнет мандарином уральские пельмени 2021
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00:00:07
maybe
00:00:23
[music]
00:00:50
friends
00:00:52
Russia
00:00:56
Moscow
00:00:58
[applause]
00:01:05
they are friends we are glad to see you at our
00:01:07
New Year's concert it smells like
00:01:10
tangerine
00:01:15
and especially for today's concert
00:01:17
we sprayed the smell of tangerine here in the hall,
00:01:21
who can smell it you, why are we wearing panties,
00:01:27
of course it's a joke we didn’t
00:01:29
spray anything you need to go to the doctor a
00:01:33
time of miracles and a time of fulfillment of desires and
00:01:36
today we want to fulfill the wish of any
00:01:39
girl whose dream was to go on the same
00:01:42
stage with the Ural dumplings who is it
00:01:44
who wants to come out
00:01:45
help us first studies 3 Vladis ment
00:01:48
I even have 1 guest
00:01:53
blockade
00:01:55
disclosure drive find in general your task is
00:01:58
very simple you can do whatever you
00:01:59
want behave naturally
00:02:00
feel at home don’t forget
00:02:03
that you are guests but at one point you
00:02:05
will need to say the phrase octave octave I’m
00:02:08
Artyom you understand everything we’re starting business it
00:02:10
smells like tangerine presents
00:02:13
[applause ]
00:02:19
panda
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come in
00:02:27
caught
00:02:29
let's come out here's who fix the chandelier for us it
00:02:37
reached Santa Claus my letter only I
00:02:40
asked for a little one all the little ones asked for
00:02:42
how he combined seven letters into one
00:02:45
apparently yes that was before lunch the giraffe
00:02:50
rake was big in the skyscraper on the TV tower near
00:02:57
the ssbbw
00:02:58
and there’s no way there at all she's beautiful, what
00:03:05
a kiss no, we only kiss the dead
00:03:09
[music]
00:03:12
I'm apple jam
00:03:16
and show me some cognac
00:03:25
savages pure layer first meet
00:03:28
at the dacha like this, tell me to introduce myself I'm
00:03:32
here three would be the most important method Bolton
00:03:35
is a silent one I want it I want it but a silent one
00:03:44
is Jackie Chun this ok, and
00:03:50
Dmitry Vladimirovich Sokolov,
00:03:51
what’s your name Anya, excuse me, we’re
00:03:59
down here and up above we can’t hear what’s Anya’s name,
00:04:02
you’re serving, a seagull is screaming, they’ve dropped
00:04:06
the plane,
00:04:07
but
00:04:11
look, they’re also yelling at na, I’m right at
00:04:15
the birdhouse, it looks like a bird, and it doesn’t stick in my head,
00:04:20
they’re a question here I don’t want anyone, a pimple,
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it’s not clear at all what I wanted,
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I didn’t want anything, I was told
00:04:29
that someone tall called us cent, you
00:04:32
were still there, you were still tall, you’re deceiving me to the
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knees, I no longer have to decide
00:04:48
where she will spend the night.
00:04:51
go, in my opinion, the answer is obvious, she needs to be
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kicked out to my room,
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you spike me in a meter-long room,
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their
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someone you only have a small libido, I
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think the girl herself should decide
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which men you like better,
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short ones, let's keep quiet, it's so unfair that
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you get sick over there and
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we don’t need this at all, this will pull out
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these, even though everything about him, you’re great, you
00:05:43
bought it, it’ll give everything perfectly,
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we really are not gnomes, but who are
00:05:48
you, we are a show
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[applause] [
00:05:53
music]
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[applause]
00:05:57
[music]
00:06:01
[applause]
00:06:03
[music ]
00:06:14
why are you so you see what year this is
00:06:18
Santa Claus
00:06:20
[applause]
00:06:21
[music]
00:06:32
[applause]
00:06:33
[music]
00:06:37
Santa Claus has come, I’ll open it now
00:06:40
[music]
00:06:45
I found your door with a flexible crowbar 20
00:06:48
they will refuse
00:06:50
you who android chorus I’m stabbing a drunk it
00:06:56
really looks like who is Santa Claus right
00:07:03
through you in general so 10 pm was the name from
00:07:06
whom 10 ordered the one and will come 10
00:07:09
the one who Syuza I'm real why you
00:07:17
look like that what year is this Santa Claus
00:07:26
the year of the Olympic Games and the World Cup
00:07:31
everyone's favorite 13
00:07:38
stinks rejoice you can feel the smells
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for a while and the participant will sit with me
00:07:50
Rospotrebnadzor throughout the area is looking for
00:07:55
trash from Lapland I don’t hope for Chelyabinsk
00:07:58
frost from Lapland what did they take you always
00:08:02
Chelyabinsk your residence is not there I’m mano
00:08:06
vtorchermet
00:08:08
oh well what will you give us
00:08:11
antiseptic masks no you didn’t ask for it
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go to the supermarket yes take it
00:08:15
for free
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especially since your wishes have already been fulfilled
00:08:18
what is your letter you wrote
00:08:23
I want to relax more in six months at home
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la what about gifts gifts are good
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gifts I’ll take I took it means food and
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some clothes I’ll find myself look taking
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into account 8
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Santa Claus usually gives gifts makes
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surprises,
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I want to give you few surprises this year or
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something, some of them went nuts, they
00:08:57
threw it away so that they would give you money for
00:09:00
six months, they would give out money, you didn’t get everything,
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but the request was that they would give out the collection,
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they would make bad gifts, why there was no
00:09:11
Eurovision Football Olympics, I sat down and
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the good ones things we didn't lose at
00:09:16
the Olympics we didn't lose at and the rulers
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we didn't lose at the shutter
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so that
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he and the dollars I round it up for you is
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also easier to multiply easier by 200 easier
00:09:32
by 300 easier to find you are even easier captcha
00:09:34
a lot why oil cost minus 47
00:09:38
dollars Christmas tree sticks you asked for
00:09:41
gasoline to be cheaper,
00:09:43
so I gave you free oil, who
00:09:46
thought that in Russia oil and gasoline are not connected in any way
00:09:51
[applause]
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a country where this is not connected, maybe you’ll
00:09:56
leave already, you’re fed up, it’s down in January at the beginning of
00:09:59
talking about this, and we have nowhere to go
00:10:03
because everything is closed for you, I’m
00:10:08
trying to do everything according to your letters for your sake,
00:10:11
so you write, I want not to go to work,
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so I want to sit at home and why not do their
00:10:18
juice and yes, I just arrived,
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so you write everything, I want
00:10:23
the entrance to be washed
00:10:26
[applause]
00:10:29
you I wrote, unlike my colleagues of
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previous years,
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I’m an executive when all this is
00:10:36
over you didn’t ask for a single
00:10:39
letter like that no there isn’t a single one like that
00:10:43
very much in what it was necessary to write a letter
00:10:45
and that’s it please that’s wrong yesterday it wo
00:10:50
n’t go in the converter to the post office go
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bring this mail to me and when it
00:10:57
arrives in three years it will be very long but
00:11:02
make it extra urgent and in a year
00:11:05
the mail will come one wish you will become we all want
00:11:08
but that’s all
00:11:17
we all want for it to end so
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soon it will all end it will end I do
00:11:28
n’t no we don’t we want this we want such
00:11:32
strange people you formulate more precisely
00:11:34
if you sit at home then why if the money then
00:11:38
how long you wait has run out since I can’t finish
00:11:43
writing it, I’m still thinking about it and but if it’s
00:11:46
all 2020 so here I am by the way there are still
00:11:51
so many surprises ahead you by the way
00:11:54
swim well let’s that's it, it's time for me,
00:11:59
wait for the dress, I'll take you here,
00:12:04
fulfill at least one of our common
00:12:06
wishes one here for the brooch okay let's 1
00:12:14
we want next year but
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everyone has a job so that the
00:12:19
borders are open and so that no
00:12:21
one gets sick one thing and it sounded 3
00:12:29
I then one I’ll choose myself I’ll choose the boundaries
00:12:33
for everyone
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[applause]
00:12:39
[music] [applause]
00:12:46
[applause]
00:12:48
[music] [applause]
00:12:50
[music]
00:12:56
just before the night to see a real live
00:12:58
Santa Claus for the rest of my life I’ll be
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peeing my pants all my
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life I brought my whole life yes yes yes
00:13:06
but and you know I won’t go to the army
00:13:10
[music]
00:13:19
insomnia
00:13:21
is when you lie with your eyes closed for a long time
00:13:23
and nothing is shown,
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drunk, normal, you’re driving a bunch of people, go and
00:13:35
see if he’s sleeping or not, if a gift
00:13:38
is seen by copics like speed wedding,
00:13:52
why don’t you sleep until you have a drink and the mice are on
00:13:58
the kitchen and got lost up to the shoulder, it’s not funny,
00:14:03
really, I’m waiting for Santa Claus, why does Anton
00:14:09
say that it’s not Santa Claus who
00:14:10
brings gifts at night under the tree, but you
00:14:13
and what else did your Anton say, he also
00:14:17
said that the stork doesn’t exist either,
00:14:20
something not from children they bring you and why did you
00:14:24
believe some boy than here match
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the storage us
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that is, you will sit all night and wait for
00:14:33
Grandfather Frost to rest I
00:14:35
would prefer that he sit in the bedroom
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eat let's see which again we will do this
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we will now go to Grandfather Frost hello
00:14:45
we you once we're 2 it's not clear you've
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already deceived me in life those first
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time it was almost six months there remember oh there
00:14:53
's no statute of limitations it smelled like the
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watchman Anton will fall asleep we'll come back you
00:15:04
're going to walk back and forth all night
00:15:05
seeing all this such a good day you had
00:15:09
so much my grandmother gave me $5,000 in gifts,
00:15:11
and a whole lot, come on son,
00:15:13
go to bed, don’t you look, but
00:15:18
since mine was previously put to bed by men, you wo
00:15:20
n’t give it to me, well, the blow is
00:15:25
really good, how we put him to sleep in how you rocked
00:15:28
him in your arms, if you rock him too hard, he
00:15:30
fell asleep from this king - they won’t rock the conga,
00:15:37
but you sang a lullaby to him, remember
00:15:39
the cradle, come on, go to sleep, my joy, fall asleep
00:15:45
Valera, you’re going to drown hiding in the house, the
00:15:51
lights have gone out, the fish have died down in the pond, the birds
00:15:56
have fallen asleep in the garden, a month in the sky, the window
00:16:04
looks out
00:16:05
your eyes, quickly, close your sleep, my joy, go to sleep,
00:16:10
mustache
00:16:13
[ music]
00:16:17
okay, seeing, we didn’t want
00:16:19
to tell you, but actually, whoever
00:16:22
sees a real live Santa Claus at night for the
00:16:25
rest of his life will pee his pants for the
00:16:29
rest of his life with him for the rest of his life, yes yes yes,
00:16:32
but you know, I won’t go into the army, but I’m a little bit
00:16:38
de Valera
00:16:39
, tell me your favorite joke to
00:16:42
which everyone falls asleep, no one falls asleep,
00:16:44
Serge 4
00:16:47
in short, they are somehow flying on a plane, a Frenchman, an
00:16:51
American and a Russian,
00:16:52
please don’t, I’m asking, it’s simple, that
00:16:55
means they’ve been flying for a while, a Frenchman
00:16:58
sticks his hand out the window, he
00:17:00
came in and it’s a brother on such sniffed
00:17:03
France flies over the council as I found out it smells of perfume it
00:17:07
smells like cutting a miracle me after some
00:17:13
time the American sticks his hand out the window
00:17:15
for a bag sniffed America we
00:17:20
fly over as I found out it smells like money they will
00:17:28
fly further and in short a
00:17:31
Russian like this sticks his hand out the window
00:17:33
took it back to Russia we fly over he is on
00:17:40
fire with honor removed
00:17:46
a little bit of cialis Marika was forging and
00:17:51
it filled up, well, let’s cover it with what’s
00:17:58
going to happen here, the river,
00:17:59
let’s go Viking, it’s blood flow, meaning they
00:18:03
opened up,
00:18:07
undressed, video, see you on the floor, peace.
00:18:16
I’m breaking out and already
00:18:19
in Santa Claus I have to get it somehow
00:18:21
call my drunks I was shooting the jackpot
00:18:25
here I’ll decorate this field but you’re just thinking about it
00:18:29
1 hello tolyan great roofing felt bullet can
00:18:34
you hear me no or what are you
00:18:37
saying I don’t understand it’s clear well natah
00:18:41
In short,
00:18:42
this Santa Claus definitely doesn’t
00:18:43
exist anymore 24 hours on Ali,
00:18:51
hello, and you can order Santa Claus,
00:18:54
you can pick him up at Sychev’s house, we
00:19:02
’ll call a taxi from where to pick him up from
00:19:05
the cops, there’s
00:19:09
no connection to the top of the head, cover them up, and not
00:19:14
just talk about the feeling, talk,
00:19:15
imagine, Lyudmila came to my work yesterday
00:19:17
Lyudmila is already telling
00:19:20
me cola there and that children’s gifts this
00:19:23
year from our company will not be given to anyone
00:19:25
sometimes it’s difficult and in a crisis situation at home we wo
00:19:28
n’t eat anything for anyone I went to the
00:19:30
movie but like the angels myself he took the tape
00:19:36
he’s doing applique
00:19:39
in this state he can also applique
00:19:41
do you know alero
00:19:43
he taped his eyes to the age
00:19:48
where I can see correctly within to NATO now
00:19:54
even I’m afraid of him that if you don’t
00:19:58
blink your eyes won’t dry up they won’t
00:20:00
dry out seriously the guy is serious and
00:20:08
especially has to teach that this is an antiseptic then
00:20:13
[music]
00:20:18
[applause ]
00:20:27
lively Santa Claus is not the eldest boy, these are
00:20:34
the features I ordered, I thought you weren’t
00:20:36
he, what time does it exist that before,
00:20:42
here and thousands when they say to see me, the
00:20:47
real Santa Claus is what 5000, let’s make
00:20:51
dozens more jokes, why do you need all this,
00:20:56
after all, why
00:20:59
just we parents grew up and they stopped
00:21:02
believing in Santa Claus, and I want not
00:21:05
even adults to believe in the New Year's miracle
00:21:07
and in Santa Claus,
00:21:16
but Santa Claus is the question, is it possible to solve something about the
00:21:21
car there? Frost is coming, I'm a
00:21:23
watchman
00:21:25
[music]
00:21:29
[applause]
00:21:30
[music]
00:21:35
[applause]
00:21:37
[music]
00:21:38
[applause]
00:21:41
[music] [applause]
00:21:47
[music] I
00:21:53
'm frozen I'll freeze and then I went up my nose to
00:21:58
wipe the snot on the snot I cut myself,
00:22:01
this will take
00:22:02
[music] the
00:22:11
cunning boy Petya
00:22:13
licked the carousel in the ice town and
00:22:16
ran eight laps for free
00:22:21
price
00:22:24
ice town
00:22:26
the central one, so to speak, is playing his son,
00:22:29
let’s enjoy the game,
00:22:30
dad, where to play here, there is no Wi-Fi
00:22:34
anywhere, where to play it will be good, in general, in
00:22:37
your town
00:22:39
you didn’t say such words, the score is good for
00:22:41
everything good - your mother met
00:22:44
between the yellow ones here at this place, here
00:22:47
I get up here I'm walking like this, all in
00:22:51
astrakhan fur, I'm a snowflake at sunset, I must have
00:22:55
hit him right in the eye, he's already the
00:22:59
only one to eat through everything, so he came out
00:23:03
and immediately made an offer, not that Krishna is
00:23:07
somewhere delicious, he's very glad
00:23:11
to throw it or phones, he threw it, this thing is a
00:23:13
game things are playing what to play
00:23:15
what
00:23:16
but from the hill ride from the hill ride
00:23:18
on your feet 12 years old for the price doesn’t know what a
00:23:21
coccyx is you why this race that you don’t
00:23:28
go at all drunk nonsense complete
00:23:30
boring start children’s well like a child’s
00:23:34
you he
00:23:35
broke his forehead it didn’t eat question blue
00:23:38
this is my forehead broken the guard says
00:23:41
where are you going the children's slide is so skinny
00:23:45
fierce this is what is getting dark this is ice steel
00:23:51
oswald what to play like a game doesn't come from
00:23:57
above the white snow is fresh but look yes yes but
00:24:06
also what is this what is this a tire you see the tractor
00:24:10
drove over look attention and gave the man
00:24:17
as if it was a waste, the rice jumped out and then
00:24:19
disappeared the games let's go home and it's cold
00:24:24
in the sense that it's cold cold people even
00:24:27
on mittens he's icy and the coils are
00:24:29
gone, like the cover of
00:24:30
the dish
00:24:31
that you're still bending your knees to whom
00:24:34
we'll do it's
00:24:36
frozen and then it
00:24:39
goes up your nose wipe the snot on the snot, cut yourself,
00:24:42
it’s frozen
00:24:44
when you take off your felt boots and don’t feel them, you’re
00:24:47
free, you didn’t take off the helium, it doesn’t matter,
00:24:50
you’re calling home, you came and hugged the batteries there,
00:24:53
the water is frozen, the lot will take you didn’t deceive the
00:25:01
bitter one with the gap, you really have one minus
00:25:05
if you don’t slow down before turning and
00:25:08
you fly straight in there’s a smack in the wall, but there’s a
00:25:12
plus, what a strong emergency room
00:25:18
it is, what a tractor drove by, the tractor driver
00:25:22
came out to smoke, and where did he go, disappeared or something, he went up the
00:25:26
hill, it’s not far from trouble, that’s it,
00:25:33
I understand that it’s really
00:25:35
boring here, it’s
00:25:36
boring there, and it’s icy cool, then
00:25:39
you become that kind, let's
00:25:41
say football turn, become and where is the
00:25:44
world,
00:25:49
here is gate 2, the strain is not stupid, I don’t know
00:25:53
everything to give, I just wanted to, you make lollipops on the
00:25:56
workout, bought a styling, yes, you give him
00:25:59
lollipops, too, all in the mother lollipops,
00:26:04
hold the lollipop for him, but on dirty-dirty
00:26:10
then defend yourself with a really dirty icicle
00:26:16
CCS positive no more I don’t know
00:26:19
how long you can have your position we don’t know on
00:26:27
the next one come out
00:26:30
what is it
00:26:34
with Anita Zerkow how to process
00:26:42
Gorelov’s icicles sorry sorry
00:26:44
sorry
00:26:45
you’re standing let’s sculpt your tits let’s
00:26:48
sculpt sculpt
00:26:49
where -the thief in the clip was walking like then to
00:26:52
then you take normally a pancake with your bare
00:26:55
hands
00:26:56
why hunger wouldn’t I, well, what do you want they
00:26:59
know to destroy your opponent
00:27:01
powder a little bit wow, let’s take it
00:27:05
sculpt the absurdity
00:27:08
you have me the absurdity sculpts a dream of sessions the
00:27:12
thing is pouring out you just don’t you know how to
00:27:15
work with snow, you don’t
00:27:16
take away normality, no, that’s all, you take it
00:27:28
[applause]
00:27:33
[music]
00:27:42
I’m not bothering you, I’ll tell you a secret when you’re
00:27:47
12, when you bother us, we’ll kick you out into
00:27:50
the street to walk every year
00:27:53
less and less often you start given in the center it’s
00:28:03
worth something incomprehensible, the center is
00:28:08
normal here 40 shots,
00:28:11
come on, everyone, where did you
00:28:16
buy such a beautiful phase in life, I want to interfere with
00:28:19
just no, they will give a discount, no, or two to
00:28:23
85 or three, go to the left, we interfered,
00:28:26
win, don’t interfere, 32 wonderfully finished,
00:28:30
what kind of company is this? . wait, wait, don’t disturb
00:28:33
3940 here the most important thing is not to get lost
00:28:37
because if it goes astray
00:28:39
[applause]
00:28:44
as one of the best
00:28:48
trained eyes I need to live 15 years
00:28:52
ago Litvishko gas arrived in the
00:29:00
colors of a hahal criminal
00:29:08
caviar they lived happily ever after until the
00:29:11
hahal
00:29:12
had an icy second eye they didn’t stop by they are milking
00:29:26
some mugs of Rosaceae somewhere
00:29:34
[applause]
00:29:35
[music]
00:29:51
that stolen backpacks I go to read
00:29:55
I still have the same so I think it’s time for you to
00:29:57
choose a coffin
00:30:00
[music]
00:30:09
you want to know what your wife will
00:30:11
look like in 20 years go to prison for
00:30:14
20 years
00:30:18
and your daughter is gorgeous it turned out to be a salad, well, that's it, it's
00:30:21
New Year soon,
00:30:23
let's mom, dad, he probably has some important things to do,
00:30:27
he immediately promised to come at
00:30:30
11, well, that means he deceived me a little, after
00:30:33
all, it's his job,
00:30:35
everyone, let's have a new year in two minutes and
00:30:38
college, let's make a wish, now the
00:30:41
chimes will ring beat wished I wish that my
00:30:46
dad would never lie and tell
00:30:50
only the truth happy new year
00:30:54
[music]
00:30:57
child still look for a fake gift happy
00:31:06
new year pledge on different machine and
00:31:09
this with a tusk I chose both hands, it’s clear I just
00:31:12
gave you money she chose I would then
00:31:14
say that it’s me, you
00:31:15
and Gurkina, and the wish came true,
00:31:19
son, these are in your room playing
00:31:21
please, and what took you so long,
00:31:25
and me and the men at 30 in the word bought
00:31:29
a worm
00:31:30
with the men at a strip club, so I bought it,
00:31:34
let’s see, no, I said, I went to
00:31:36
help people there a flock of some kind on the
00:31:38
Chelyuskinites burst shoal burst I
00:31:41
put an old boner there next door, she
00:31:43
boner continue to buy money for you Reggie
00:31:47
happens to steal it turns out that the
00:31:50
stolen saffron milk caps I
00:31:52
keep on reading I stayed like this too,
00:31:55
so I think it’s time for you to play coffin and
00:32:00
talk to me, wait a minute you said, you know, they
00:32:04
love an SUV right
00:32:06
up the mountain, I told you anything that I’ll tell you
00:32:10
crap, don’t hear it, why are you
00:32:12
talking all sorts of nonsense, we had
00:32:14
administration, we worked,
00:32:18
what disgusting stuff, they didn’t care about salad, people didn’t care
00:32:22
what you chew or what not, they do what to
00:32:26
you more than once he talks about him, now we
00:32:28
'll talk about one question, I want
00:32:32
you to answer it for me right
00:32:33
now, you're cheating on me,
00:32:36
I'm on the right, but I didn't break any women, my
00:32:45
part, the
00:32:46
cousin of some guy,
00:32:51
that I'll spend centuries at work, what's this,
00:32:56
see all everyone is like one of them changing
00:32:58
everyone lost their heart because they wouldn’t
00:33:08
talk
00:33:10
I understood once and then twice it’s
00:33:12
not like that everything is a quick survey to and recently
00:33:17
you had a business trip to Paris it’s
00:33:18
true for work now I’ll ask you
00:33:25
you broke my blood pressure monitor
00:33:31
that's enough questions don't ask me
00:33:33
more than a stage everything told everything
00:33:36
call me please I
00:33:38
'll fix it next year next year
00:33:40
I'll fix it that he started lying again
00:33:43
stopped working
00:33:44
wait in his own way on me in the dress
00:33:47
disgusting everything works fine it's
00:33:51
that I had a brother not it turns out, how am
00:33:53
I going to work
00:33:54
and I’m also going to work, then they leave me
00:33:57
like I don’t know you, then I’ll wait for
00:34:01
the hill, please come back, grandson, come
00:34:03
here, we need to take it, take it, make
00:34:05
a wish, let’s order something, yes, I
00:34:10
wish that my dad always always
00:34:14
loved me and was next to me
00:34:20
[music]
00:34:21
what can
00:34:26
I always always loved you and always
00:34:28
always next to you neighbors
00:34:35
[applause]
00:34:38
[music]
00:34:43
[applause]
00:34:49
friends new year of course it is customary to
00:34:52
wish something to each other and everyone since
00:34:55
it’s difficult to find some original
00:34:56
unusual wishes, but not this
00:34:59
year, this time each of us decided to
00:35:02
wish you something using
00:35:04
words that seem to be the
00:35:05
personification of the finally passing
00:35:08
twentieth year of rum, well, let’s go to you and the
00:35:12
antibodies
00:35:14
have begun positively, dear friends, I would
00:35:19
like to wish that in 2021 you
00:35:23
all have as few antibodies as possible,
00:35:26
so be careful with salads in the New
00:35:29
Year so that you are not surrounded by antibodies
00:35:31
like me
00:35:35
[music]
00:35:37
I’ll tell you then, since such a thing is a mask, and I
00:35:41
want to wish for the
00:35:42
coming year that the masks did not hide the
00:35:45
faces of our wonderful women,
00:35:47
but as it should be with disposable expensive
00:35:51
garbage, they only moisturized the faces and rejuvenates the fact
00:35:59
that quarantine and antenna, I wish the
00:36:04
word quarantine would go away from our
00:36:07
lives altogether, somewhere in the nursery group of a
00:36:08
kindergarten,
00:36:09
but where do you know someone was sleeping or something I ate
00:36:12
and for a week they are all sitting on the potties there.
00:36:15
Valentine is the right place in the children's potties
00:36:20
dimonn
00:36:22
self-isolation self-isolation is easy I wish
00:36:27
everyone self-isolation but this is
00:36:29
imagine the situation at home, it's a mess, the
00:36:33
eldest is learning his homework, he can't do
00:36:35
math in Rio, the youngest is being fed porridge,
00:36:38
she doesn't want porridge, she's roaring
00:36:40
on TV in Kuta, the series is also red,
00:36:43
loud, I don’t know the code, he
00:36:46
[ __ ] under the sofa, he’s yelling, in general, it’s a mess and you’re just going
00:36:48
to the toilet, and you’re in isolation
00:36:56
and Wi-Fi and silence
00:37:00
distance, and I want to wish that in the
00:37:04
coming year on August 2nd without
00:37:08
any restrictions in all The
00:37:10
paratroopers swam in the fountains of the country, I didn’t
00:37:18
scare them anymore, but almost on August 2,
00:37:22
Paratrooper’s Day, the word is spoken by
00:37:25
smell, smell, I want to wish everyone in the
00:37:30
coming year that
00:37:32
if you are sitting in line at the clinic and
00:37:34
don’t hear the phrase, why have you lost your sense of smell, it
00:37:37
would only mean that you are meddling in
00:37:40
queues and nothing more
00:37:44
[music]
00:37:46
Ksyushenka where is the sense of smell I want smell
00:37:49
lost completely my wish Dima let's get
00:37:54
her a Taser I really want that
00:38:03
next year sanita cumin will become very
00:38:07
high quality
00:38:09
so that you can finally drink them let's
00:38:16
hit the touch remotely I want to wish
00:38:22
that on the only thing left for the remote person is the mother-in-law
00:38:25
who lives in another city
00:38:34
tram tram tram
00:38:37
to you than I wish everyone to
00:38:41
go to Sochi next year to go skiing there
00:38:44
and see with my own eyes the big
00:38:47
Olympic ski jump
00:38:52
[applause]
00:38:55
and this is all possible, as
00:38:56
practice shows, as the woman Dean Prince the snow has already
00:39:00
fallen you have a virus in you, a virus, well,
00:39:04
dear friends, I want
00:39:07
no one to forget about the virus in the new year, the group, although there are
00:39:11
a lot of them, they also need me and concerts,
00:39:15
especially since they have hits, remember about the pens
00:39:19
[music]
00:39:24
test test, I wish that next year
00:39:30
everything our TV viewers received a
00:39:32
positive test
00:39:39
and so that these two stripes make everyone happy
00:39:43
[applause]
00:39:46
and the children are happy
00:39:48
[applause]
00:39:50
[music]
00:40:02
good evening hello
00:40:07
[music] I
00:40:10
used to work in the office and was
00:40:13
languishing, I thought from there that we have nowhere to escape from the five-day week
00:40:17
thoughts so at the beginning
00:40:21
of the year vacation was still far away
00:40:24
as a hotel & spa, I could work from home
00:40:27
even for a day
00:40:28
instead of the office, then
00:40:33
I would be lying on the couch with a laptop and in shorts, they were running in a
00:40:37
hurry to go
00:40:38
to lunch, I didn’t always have to be at hand,
00:40:41
and who knew that remote work would soon be
00:40:46
forever?
00:40:49
truly stupid house
00:40:52
remotely remote we are in a one-room apartment speaker he is
00:40:57
far from
00:40:59
[music]
00:41:00
and so live to sign up to work with
00:41:04
organs I have to pay extra for the tenth month in the wrong
00:41:09
place I don’t go to the cleaning and cooking I
00:41:14
spend the whole week
00:41:16
before I only ate at lunch now it’s a day and
00:41:19
a half and sitting at the laptop does not interfere with the
00:41:24
stomach and make-up next to training like a wife 3,
00:41:30
too, always Tom Karla is up until late
00:41:34
only good neighbors know that he is tired
00:41:38
so he often drills the wall so that I don’t
00:41:42
fall asleep
00:41:46
this is true
00:41:47
he hit
00:41:50
us with cheesecakes and removed the rum
00:41:54
he lay down tired of
00:41:56
m so the bison pizarro
00:41:59
preparations
00:42:08
tolga I’m suffering in the apartment another wave has begun I’m
00:42:12
overgrown in rags gray hair has appeared
00:42:17
people are running after the buckwheat the economy is on fire
00:42:21
but we’ll raise it while sitting at home at least the birth rate in
00:42:26
the country
00:42:29
[applause]
00:42:32
he we’re already out of sixes
00:42:37
[music] we
00:42:39
’re tired of everyone also that business is
00:42:44
top I get
00:42:46
[applause] [music]
00:42:47
[applause]
00:42:48
[music]
00:42:51
Vlad
00:42:52
[music]
00:43:06
asked
00:43:11
[music]
00:43:13
Seryoga, well, what about Grandfather Frost and the boy
00:43:18
Maxim, well,
00:43:19
maybe Grandpa will come out already to the
00:43:21
bones, chop them a little to
00:43:24
maintain the beauty of the nose,
00:43:25
drink for now without I don’t remember my grandfathers
00:43:30
once, I drank without my grandfather in the army, then in
00:43:35
the infirmary for two weeks I ate
00:43:36
porridge with bromine with my grandmothers for two weeks
00:43:41
[music]
00:43:50
one boy wrote such a pitiful
00:43:53
letter to Santa Claus that the
00:43:56
guardianship authorities became interested in their family, why are you
00:44:01
crying,
00:44:02
Santa Claus has come for you, a gift has come
00:44:07
for you gave gave not why dissatisfied
00:44:10
what is wrong with Santa Claus after all, he
00:44:14
brought a gift to you but you are dissatisfied oh
00:44:19
thank God at least he spoke
00:44:23
just finally Russo stars your sheet
00:44:27
now tell me what’s wrong I didn’t want
00:44:31
the risk and we want a laptop laptop so then it
00:44:34
was necessary in a letter to grandfather It’s clearer in the cold to
00:44:37
write about a laptop, then there’s even more
00:44:40
written ips with an oris 1200 video card,
00:44:45
how is this not a set of letters, I thought you just
00:44:50
wrote a pen with aerys 1200, well, that’s
00:44:55
all I understood,
00:44:56
iris 1200, I bought you toffees for 1200, they
00:45:01
stuffed it in, it’s a sign of protest because that he does
00:45:05
n’t understand me, how they don’t understand Santa Claus, Grandfather Frost
00:45:09
understands you perfectly, Grandfather Frost doesn’t
00:45:12
understand English,
00:45:14
Seryoga, here’s Grandfather Frost, and the boy
00:45:19
Maxim,
00:45:20
well, maybe Grandpa will come out to the
00:45:22
guests, so let’s drop a little and to
00:45:26
maintain the beauty of your nose, drink from
00:45:28
Titushka while you’re at it, well, no I remember once I drank
00:45:33
without my grandfather in the army, then in the infirmary for two
00:45:37
weeks I ate porridge with bromine with my grandmothers I’ll
00:45:40
come to Santa Claus you see a
00:45:44
serious conversation so okay forgot about
00:45:47
and the risks what do you want for the New Year yuri
00:45:50
sick well let’s say an annual subscription to a
00:45:53
Dodge supercar like this spoke English and you
00:45:58
understand him 5 1 cm Santa Claus
00:46:02
how is it that Santa Claus must be
00:46:05
trusted he understood everything about the laptop it’s
00:46:07
just that at the moment he has nowhere to
00:46:10
take it Dettmar revive the wizard gave
00:46:12
the wizard well let’s say then he will take
00:46:15
the password from dad’s computer and the PIN code
00:46:17
from dad’s card then I’ll give myself a
00:46:19
laptop, dare seiko,
00:46:23
let’s not break traditions, the gift
00:46:27
should be given by
00:46:28
Santa Claus, because if you ignore it, you can’t handle it, you won’t be able to
00:46:31
handle it, you got hamsters at the age of four
00:46:34
again, about the age of a parrot,
00:46:37
and at the age of six, a fisherman and he devoured them, it
00:46:42
feels like all these three years ago you gave
00:46:45
gifts with them and the borscht,
00:46:49
well, Grandfather Frost, give him some cold bread already
00:46:52
so as not to upset him, go
00:46:55
while the boy Maxim, how to go to the other guys,
00:46:58
play and have a drink and leave
00:47:01
me with such a pessimist, well, is it really
00:47:05
all these, well,
00:47:06
let’s go to the children’s table here
00:47:10
[music]
00:47:16
so Santa Claus came to everyone everyone was
00:47:21
happy
00:47:22
so dissatisfied with a step forward that you asked
00:47:25
Santa Claus for a stretcher and
00:47:27
he gave you a strong one and so what did you
00:47:32
ask Santa Claus for violinists
00:47:34
and he gave you a scripture no what’s a
00:47:39
laptop and what are you you are unhappy with the laptop,
00:47:42
they gave you a block, but so I asked
00:47:49
that the motorist win the
00:47:51
Gagarin Cup, Santa Claus is a wizard any game
00:47:55
manager, and you need to win the Gagarin Cup, you
00:47:57
need at least
00:48:00
Perry five wizards in the lineup, and they
00:48:02
only have one goalkeeper so far, this goal
00:48:04
next year, you’ll have enough already
00:48:10
Why did you recognize me that it’s a problem, well, since you found out,
00:48:13
let’s talk seriously then, it’s
00:48:16
not so with gifts, dad, in fact, it does
00:48:18
n’t matter to me that you and your moms are not going to
00:48:20
give
00:48:21
scratchier and or fasteners for the New Year, and the main thing is that
00:48:24
in this new year you and your mom don’t we swore,
00:48:35
I don’t swear, and other things, yes, the guys
00:48:41
and fathers agreed, yes, I see, but for
00:48:44
Santa Claus to give you a gift, he needs to
00:48:47
recite a poem or sing a song, and
00:48:49
what kind of ancient people are you, you can also
00:48:52
do it at the same time, it’s called a rap
00:48:55
about how everyone who read the 10-minute
00:48:58
rhyme from the stool received only
00:49:00
candy in what is the website bar in the whole building
00:49:04
dangerous words about mine back in the music class
00:49:07
give us a girl beat
00:49:15
and who are you adults there are comments
00:49:20
about the tradition of the New Year celebration
00:49:23
comrades adults have long known the parade we
00:49:26
don’t need it at all is yours and to the handle with
00:49:31
sprats, sandwiches are a snack, this doesn’t
00:49:34
need to be on the children’s table, carelessly disappear
00:49:51
on the wire, your clothes
00:49:54
and an adult are lying on our purchases, you often
00:49:57
call them stupid, and the notes themselves burn them
00:50:00
[music]
00:50:03
by the way, people who are
00:50:06
watching it for the first time are a
00:50:08
form of counting Why the hell try to
00:50:11
count and always exactly 2
00:50:14
[applause]
00:50:16
beads of one day
00:50:20
even in the New Year so that it would be like in a fairy tale
00:50:23
everyone puts on costumes and different ones and every
00:50:27
New Year we have such a desire
00:50:30
and in this one we are burning that he took off all the masks
00:50:41
aiko well done, they pleased grandpa
00:50:44
they deserved it a gift, well, here's a
00:50:48
treat, here's a treat for you guys, an hour to the file, a
00:50:51
bar is not a soy bar,
00:50:54
it's a tradition
00:51:00
[applause]
00:51:01
[music]
00:51:23
the first time you walk into a house and I'm
00:51:27
sorry, the virus is in the house, a cough for joy
00:51:32
[music]
00:51:42
alcohol helps against coronavirus but
00:51:45
only in New Year and for those who believe in the
00:51:47
miracle of cholera,
00:51:51
why didn’t you gather the
00:51:54
plague here and why are you in a hurry somewhere? You do
00:51:57
n’t have a job in the 17th century, he doesn’t have one, but I
00:52:01
mean, I have business in Tyumen in which the
00:52:04
world’s Novosibirsk for that and ulcers and
00:52:06
Siberian so that your business in Tyumen will be
00:52:11
shorter than the sores you are all respected not
00:52:14
other authoritative cheese, you
00:52:19
need to figure it out with one cheese, come in, hello,
00:52:30
the first move, you’re walking into the house and I’m
00:52:33
sorry, the virus is in the hut, a cough in joy,
00:52:39
look, you’re savvy to the cultural virus of the
00:52:43
bones,
00:52:44
I hear and the rock is rumor here passed in the pier you
00:52:48
shout yourself with coronavirus but they explained
00:52:51
the method who crowned you I canceled it myself
00:52:56
eat kavi your number nineteen when
00:53:02
respected diseases talk to you
00:53:04
move away from so I’ll paint my dear mother I don’t
00:53:08
recognize set with ring
00:53:10
according to Russia we heard that you’re kind of
00:53:16
not your real self in laboratories did
00:53:20
that I do your do do amor que can you murka
00:53:26
murka I can’t and I can’t a bug I can mouse
00:53:32
preferably and flying
00:53:35
citizens sores well what’s wrong you’re
00:53:47
even a Spanish woman from yourself since you
00:53:51
green hedgehog died leaving us people
00:53:54
seriously people stopped accepting because of
00:53:59
you, people began to wash their hands, I still have
00:54:01
no work, diarrhea,
00:54:03
calm down, think about what to do with him at the dacha,
00:54:08
so what is there to think about getting him wet, and
00:54:11
why the match, the same is not malt already in his match, you
00:54:14
are defending him, cholera,
00:54:17
who are you anyway to be like this you're boiling
00:54:19
pointing at your place near the bucket,
00:54:22
diarrhea, this is my place near the bucket, I
00:54:28
understand, I've moved away, in short, it's necessary to decide, it's an honor to
00:54:34
give him a dacha, to decide why you need this
00:54:38
hemorrhoids, I'm here, all sorts of respected ones, before
00:54:43
the metaphor was for me, I'm standing,
00:54:47
vaccines are burning, there's a lot of food, that's that beast,
00:54:49
the date of the beasts, we hear, but we need to about Irka,
00:54:53
think about it, and we will instantly be
00:54:58
a surfer and why is a surfer on the same
00:55:01
wave, you never know what I won’t remove the juice, what do
00:55:06
you say that’s wrong and everything is wrong, my
00:55:11
dear, everything is wrong, you
00:55:14
can drive around Europe in your curlers in Russia, such a one
00:55:17
will not fail among us diseases you disease new you what
00:55:20
like guys I'm all I'm with you with you and with
00:55:24
you the Islamist stand a lot where Rainey come
00:55:27
up it's even scary to imagine what
00:55:30
will happen to humanity if you
00:55:32
unite
00:55:35
[applause]
00:55:38
[music]
00:55:39
so don't move anyone so the
00:55:42
Russian vaccine works at night jumped
00:55:44
coronavirus 4 hiko and got up quickly
00:55:48
the mistake came out I have hemorrhoids you already have
00:55:51
hemorrhoids for the whole world now we’ll sort it out but
00:55:55
now the fraerok is damp and the vaccine
00:55:58
turned out to be only for this action and
00:56:02
comrade
00:56:12
dear sores and of course
00:56:16
I’m wildly sorry but who are you anyway who we are and
00:56:23
about me between among other things, Shakespeare himself
00:56:26
wrote, I
00:56:27
apologize that Shakespeare wrote about diarrhea, but
00:56:32
this is a horse half a kingdom for a horse according to
00:56:38
yours, he was in such a hurry,
00:56:42
yes, it’s a rock of spirit for me, well, he got up and left
00:56:46
from here, that’s it, I’m telling you, I’m
00:56:49
gone and you’ll never come back to
00:56:57
where
00:56:59
I’m going that you will never
00:57:01
come back again, well, sit down
00:57:02
like this, friends understand that you are already tired of
00:57:06
testing your fingers for two weeks indoors, you
00:57:10
volunteered to sit here all week like this
00:57:12
without chess
00:57:18
[applause]
00:57:19
[music]
00:57:25
[applause]
00:57:29
[music]
00:57:35
I am the President of America
00:57:38
America needs young blood
00:57:44
[music]
00:57:59
about became a zone
00:58:02
then I am the President measure antibody no
00:58:09
I don’t believe you you are not the President
00:58:12
I would be for a great America needs young
00:58:18
blood
00:58:22
no go away go away you 78 so I need to
00:58:29
quickly
00:58:33
manage the Uzbek woman unhook me the
00:58:36
people chose me I don’t believe you body
00:58:40
debts what what oh look oh what’s this I do
00:58:49
n’t see a damn thing move further
00:58:53
still I don’t see a damn thing further yet
00:58:56
and I don’t see any further but I won’t go any further I ca
00:59:01
n’t hear myself further all these
00:59:07
back then where to go to nevian go to the
00:59:17
smell what what smell should smell like
00:59:25
me and self-tanning
00:59:31
let it wake you up go away I won’t go anywhere I’ve
00:59:34
just laid everything out here I can’t
00:59:38
collect it yet I can collect it but
00:59:42
activated carbon is a
00:59:45
corner of this site this is this
00:59:50
nitroglycerin what is this seedlings
00:59:56
heart here's cherry here peas Nikita
00:59:59
here pansies I'm all hydrogen
01:00:03
and what are you doing what are you doing you're stupid or
01:00:06
something vakit we should have it flowing into the bag
01:00:10
everything
01:00:11
where I'll get you a second bag of ideas over
01:00:14
there on the balcony take it from me here you
01:00:18
washed my clothes to dry
01:00:22
on the balcony I have no underpants I have
01:00:25
a cold and they cleaned up you know how to manage
01:00:31
America because of you the dollar is already hanging at
01:00:34
all
01:00:39
I don’t know how to sit down take it to 5
01:00:43
let’s see now now we open
01:00:47
the news what the exchange rate is one hundred rubles the cook
01:00:50
already it’s worth looking at another 160 so get out,
01:00:56
you’ll only get worse, just move forward
01:01:04
then I’ll wait, it’s a week at most,
01:01:09
but you still don’t know how to run such a country, what am I the one who ca
01:01:11
n’t do it,
01:01:14
well, give me this red button created
01:01:19
for and why don’t I want to treat anything, I don’t know
01:01:27
to me they already gave me this for the first month, I was also
01:01:31
lying, I’ll break it
01:01:37
harder, that’s
01:01:43
all you need to control the wild
01:01:47
devil vaz, go to hell, then you still have to
01:01:50
do this, so then this is what you have, and
01:01:53
this is your wig, which is safe,
01:02:01
this is kombucha, that’s the
01:02:04
lodgy ear lay it out to him, it will help your
01:02:08
ear, no, it won’t help, he helps manage
01:02:11
America’s walls with Mexico, you know about his
01:02:16
idea and in Russia, you know, he came
01:02:19
up with this, it’s a good thing, you know, it’s been a
01:02:25
day since I just managed to
01:02:27
write it down and then listen, look, you
01:02:32
take it, it means you close your eyes on the card, and
01:02:37
there you go. so
01:02:38
you poke any place where your finger got
01:02:41
there, you attack, I understand, and where is
01:02:46
Russia, Russia,
01:02:49
I removed it just in case,
01:02:58
I’m old and not stupid
01:03:02
[applause]
01:03:04
[music]
01:03:06
this is correct, everything is so, this means managing like this,
01:03:10
so
01:03:12
why else are there so many phones
01:03:15
I don’t remember the phone numbers, I don’t remember now, I’ll
01:03:17
call now, who are you? Cardiology,
01:03:23
this is it, and so is urology
01:03:28
at home closer to the Pentagon, and why are you treating
01:03:37
nothing? This is useless; the main thing you need to
01:03:45
know is when the ruler of the world
01:03:47
says everything to you; everything means not everything
01:03:50
else is normal for us so that
01:03:52
means I didn’t have time to collect the creaking-creaking and shade,
01:03:54
well, shout with a grip, everything else
01:04:00
in America is normal, I have
01:04:02
everything for everyone, go wait,
01:04:05
tell me what is the most important thing you need to know
01:04:09
in order to control us, the most important thing
01:04:11
is to watch and show me remember three
01:04:13
movements here like this it means like this like
01:04:15
this and all this without music is harmful he music
01:04:21
is the President of America let's go
01:04:28
[music]
01:04:43
he's great this is great for this who
01:04:47
came up with this here you go handsome man
01:04:52
feed him to the bottom
01:04:56
[applause] [music]
01:05:04
[applause]
01:05:11
[music]
01:05:25
New Year's
01:05:28
Oregon is leaving
01:05:31
[music]
01:05:35
Olga will not be the same.
01:05:38
I
01:05:41
and
01:05:44
zagot are
01:05:46
exactly the words
01:05:49
but
01:05:53
[music]
01:06:03
dear friends we congratulate you on the
01:06:06
new year 2021
01:06:08
you 1020 is finally leaving and in general
01:06:12
even after turning political correctness to the
01:06:13
very maximum he can say a scoundrel
01:06:16
he gave us a lot of surprises from
01:06:19
21
01:06:20
we hope he will have a better life it’s like a
01:06:23
given jacket stripe black stripe white and
01:06:26
we really hope that the twentieth year
01:06:29
takes away the black stripe and the 21st carries the
01:06:33
white one so white that it will be
01:06:35
dazzlingly bright so bright that it
01:06:38
will burn into the world and the only
01:06:41
failure of the twenty-first year will be oh we
01:06:43
seem too much tanned in this
01:06:46
dazzling light, happy
01:06:47
new year, friends
01:06:49
[applause]
01:06:50
[music]
01:06:56
[music]
01:06:59
let's see
01:07:05
how the lights came on,
01:07:09
how bright all around,
01:07:11
garlands are sparkling everywhere, like him, the
01:07:18
diamonds on the windows, the pattern of dollars,
01:07:23
they left the quarrels, their duty, crystal
01:07:29
barbora, the
01:07:34
new year is about to come soon which and after him and
01:07:40
New Year's
01:07:43
he goes away New Year's
01:07:50
aiko will not be the same.
01:07:53
I'm
01:07:59
sunset
01:08:01
so immediately
01:08:03
because of
01:08:04
but
01:08:07
here happy and old and young everyone looks
01:08:12
at the dial where in the clean
01:08:17
and the pig they will converge on from it
01:08:22
seems but
01:08:25
growth and joyful every time and forever the
01:08:31
wild beast and space are about to
01:08:35
kill the zoo
01:08:37
[music]
01:08:39
which they started
01:08:44
[music ]
01:08:46
and he’s leaving
01:08:48
[music]
01:08:53
and we’re [music]
01:08:56
on
01:09:01
and
01:09:04
also where
01:09:07
[music]
01:09:10
and
01:09:11
[music]
01:09:12
street
01:09:19
[music]
01:09:31
[applause]
01:09:36
[music]
01:09:47
[applause]
01:09:51
so that
01:09:53
lungs
01:09:55
and 2 homes and
01:09:56
health
01:09:58
[music]
01:09:59
[applause]

Description:

Дело пахнет мандарином | Уральские пельмени 2021 Официальный сайт: ► Сайт - https://ctc.ru/ ► Телепрограмма - https://ctc.ru/programm/ ► Сериалы - https://ctc.ru/projects/serials/ ► Новости - https://ctc.ru/zakadrom/novosti/ Приложение СТС для iOS и Android: ► Скачать приложение - https://ctc.ru/apps/ Социальные сети: ► Группа VK - http://vk.com/ctc ► Мы в Twitter - http://twitter.com/ctc ► Мы в Одноклассниках - https://ok.ru/ctc

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