Download "Юрий Хвостов и Наталья Коростелёва 🤣 СБОРНИК ЛУЧШИХ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЙ | ДУЭТ | ЮМОР | СМЕХ | Включаем 2024"

"videoThumbnail Юрий Хвостов и Наталья Коростелёва 🤣 СБОРНИК ЛУЧШИХ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЙ | ДУЭТ | ЮМОР | СМЕХ | Включаем 2024

😂Лайк кто со мной купаться | мемы | приколы от Зубарев #юмор #стендап #Китай #Shorts

😂Лайк кто со мной купаться | мемы | приколы от Зубарев #юмор #стендап #Китай #Shorts

Channel: Зубарев

Виктор Коклюшкин "Ехидный старикашка". Творческий вечер Аркадия Арканова (1990)

Виктор Коклюшкин "Ехидный старикашка". Творческий вечер Аркадия Арканова (1990)

Channel: Советское телевидение. ГОСТЕЛЕРАДИОФОНД

😂 СТИХ С ЮМОРОМ. 😂 УЛЫБНИТЕСЬ. 😂 ЮМОР. 😂 ПОЗИТИВ. 😂 АНЕКДОТ ДНЯ. 😂 СМЕШНО. #shorts

😂 СТИХ С ЮМОРОМ. 😂 УЛЫБНИТЕСЬ. 😂 ЮМОР. 😂 ПОЗИТИВ. 😂 АНЕКДОТ ДНЯ. 😂 СМЕШНО. #shorts

Channel: Kirnatka - поэзия и цитаты

Выносим мусор правильно / Слепая. Баба Нина / TikTok / ЮМОР / ZADOR MEDIA

Выносим мусор правильно / Слепая. Баба Нина / TikTok / ЮМОР / ZADOR MEDIA

Channel: Дима Задоров / Zador Media

"Письмо Эльдару Рязанову от криворожского клуба кинолюбителей". Геннадий Хазанов (1986)

"Письмо Эльдару Рязанову от криворожского клуба кинолюбителей". Геннадий Хазанов (1986)

Channel: Советское телевидение. ГОСТЕЛЕРАДИОФОНД

Анекдот про Джентельменов и снайпера #анекдот #прикол #смех #анекдоты #шортс #приколы #шутка #мем

Анекдот про Джентельменов и снайпера #анекдот #прикол #смех #анекдоты #шортс #приколы #шутка #мем

Как выключают свет ДЕВУШКИ/ПАРНИ - ALEXLON

Как выключают свет ДЕВУШКИ/ПАРНИ - ALEXLON

Channel: AlexLON

3.wmv

3.wmv

Channel: Янур

Новые Русские Бабки

короли смеха

сборник лучших номеров

юмор

смех

смешные номера

анекдоты

шутки

юмористы

юмористический сборник

лучшие из лучших

аншлаг

смеяться разрешается

парад юмора

смех с доставкой на дом

кривое зеркало

Лучший дуэт

ПАРОДИЯ

Петросян шоу

день смеха

степаненко лучшие

ВЕТРОВ ГЕННАДИЙ

СТОЯНОВ

юморина

ЖЕНЩИНА ЗА РУЛЁМ

ЧУДАКИ НА ДОРОГЕ

МЕМ

ВЗЯТКА

сборник новых номеров

МАМЕНКО ЛУЧШЕЕ

ПЕТРОСЯН ЛУЧШЕЕ

ЮИОРИНА 2024

ЮМОР 2024

00:00:00

Katya Let's go home Katya Katya home Let's

00:00:03

go home Katya you said we'll come in for 5 minutes This

00:00:07

is a

00:00:09

cosmetics store we've been going to for 3 hours now Katya

00:00:14

why do you need so many cosmetics

00:00:16

Please tell me there's already 10,000 here Katya

00:00:21

10,000 means I haven't bought everything yet

00:00:26

it's not all that we are dumb, we need to

00:00:30

remove something, that’s what it is, tell me what it is, that’s

00:00:32

with redneck oil, that’s a

00:00:38

toad, that’s

00:00:39

deodorant Wow, the price I earn so much a

00:00:43

day Katya That is, I sweat for a day so

00:00:46

that you don’t

00:00:48

sweat for a day not Katya that’s overkill, that's what it

00:00:52

is, that's what, that's a mustache for

00:00:56

midgets, that's it, that's not the way to wear false eyelashes

00:01:01

for that kind of money. Well, there's

00:01:03

clearly something extra here, that's what it is, that's what

00:01:05

that's eye shadow, you have

00:01:08

two eyes, why

00:01:14

eight shadows, that's it that glitter for the eyelids 750

00:01:18

rubles This is glitter for the eyes it’s very

00:01:20

beautiful well oh it’s

00:01:23

really so beautiful Katya it suits you so

00:01:27

stupid you need to cover it up and apply it not if you

00:01:32

run out of it you’ll wear it

00:01:34

so go

00:01:37

all glitters for the eyes What is this what is

00:01:41

this -why does

00:01:42

this gnome’s spit cost 850 rubles

00:01:47

Katya it’s

00:01:49

Organic it’s a cream made from completely

00:01:52

natural natural

00:01:54

ingredients So we read the composition of natural

00:01:57

ingredients phenol formaldehyde

00:02:02

hexo Drill Pen Barbitus Schnee Priva

00:02:08

acid Katya I have glue for gluing

00:02:11

cast iron there is a composition One to one look

00:02:14

except for the pink extract

00:02:19

petals, and it’s in the glue, but in

00:02:22

your cream No

00:02:24

Katya, well, I need the cream over there Ber is

00:02:28

small, probably inexpensive, it’s a sample, they

00:02:31

give you a free try, if you don’t like it,

00:02:34

you don’t take it, but if you like it,

00:02:37

then you take a big

00:02:40

bottle If only with women,

00:02:45

he

00:02:49

knows, he didn’t like it, didn’t take it otherwise

00:02:53

you immediately take a large bottle for the rest of your

00:02:56

life, and every year the bottle gets

00:03:00

bigger and

00:03:04

bigger, and your dispenser gets smaller and

00:03:10

smaller, don’t keep me

00:03:12

here, don’t bother me, I still need a brush, so

00:03:15

I chose this one, so these

00:03:19

three hairs are dead rats 1.00

00:03:22

rubles Katya I bought a brush at a hardware store

00:03:25

for 50 rubles in

00:03:28

Compare

00:03:31

and I think that you paint every morning

00:03:34

there for half a day This is of course such a

00:03:36

pindyura to drive the facade to shade with this

00:03:38

you will paint mine twice for Mach zero

00:03:40

everything is mine as ready

00:03:42

everything is nothing - it’s not a rat, it’s a

00:03:49

squirrel, so I knew that it couldn’t have happened without the squirrel,

00:03:53

that is, you got drunk, the squirrel came

00:03:56

and said Katya, buy me this canoe for

00:03:58

12 loshok, he pays for it all for you, too, the

00:04:02

squirrel recommended this for 400 rubles

00:04:05

What is this? lotion for moisturizing the

00:04:09

skin Why you can’t moisturize with water water

00:04:13

doesn’t

00:04:15

moisturize water

00:04:21

[applause]

00:04:28

dries Hello Academy of

00:04:32

Sciences write down new knowledge Yes, water

00:04:36

dries it out Katyushka discovered it Yes, you understand, you’re a

00:04:39

stupid sheep and you understand something

00:04:41

in your physics, well, what other discoveries

00:04:45

awaits the universe Katyushenka what is

00:04:47

this mur here for 700 rubles what is

00:04:49

it These are hydrogel hyaluronic

00:04:52

regenerating

00:04:58

patches

00:05:04

what is it written right there in Russian

00:05:08

hydrogel hyaluronic regenerating

00:05:10

patches they are applied forever Well, if for

00:05:15

eyelids then it’s ok with back it’s 100 years

00:05:18

700 rubles for 100 years it is necessary

00:05:21

to Find Why three packs

00:05:25

Katya one pack will end I

00:05:28

'll open the second then

00:05:30

the third Are you like three centuries Life has come together

00:05:33

or

00:05:34

something Like a turtle tortilla or something Katya that's some kind of scam

00:05:38

everywhere deception everywhere that's what

00:05:41

this composition is you read the composition

00:05:43

hydrangea extract oil Why are you

00:05:47

mangosteen fruit extract balm with

00:05:49

minerals Mango juice Are you sure that these are

00:05:53

necessary components in toilet

00:05:55

paper

00:05:58

Katya Yes, it also restores the

00:06:01

natural

00:06:05

blush and eliminates facial wrinkles

00:06:11

Katya, why is there any grimacing tell me

00:06:13

please, there is one wrinkle there, God forbid it should be

00:06:17

eliminated, the meaning of the organ is lost,

00:06:19

you understand

00:06:20

Well, don’t you understand, I buy all this

00:06:24

for

00:06:28

you, you

00:06:30

like it. Help me choose a perfume,

00:06:33

what smell do you like? Look, I

00:06:35

sprayed it with samplers. Look, this

00:06:38

smell, these, these, these, these, then

00:06:42

I ran out of hands, I

00:06:44

sprayed these on my feet. these these which one should I

00:06:48

choose Oh this Take this I like you you're

00:06:53

stupid I cut the sausage in the morning with the

00:06:58

sausage grate the souls and go like

00:07:02

this with the sausage God, how many

00:07:04

lower ones are there, what did you pick up this is what we have here

00:07:06

Kato the woman over there in the estimate, the face has

00:07:10

nothing this is this This is a

00:07:12

mask for women over 7

00:07:16

years old This is a twist Did you forge your passport with

00:07:22

an old woman You're making a fool out of me as a Lyapino

00:07:30

Your mom needs one Mask A mask of the

00:07:34

devil she can decorate it alone Lord I've

00:07:37

collected everything What is this This is

00:07:39

what we have for 850 rubles What this This is

00:07:46

cuticle oil who is this

00:07:50

cuticle your friend or

00:07:53

something Why should I buy oil for some cuticle

00:07:55

I don’t understand how expensive he

00:07:59

buys this oil for my

00:08:04

[applause]

00:08:10

cuticle And that’s what you

00:08:15

call it This Pisa won’t be enough for you

00:08:20

Pour a liter for you three will be necessary you

00:08:22

underestimate your cuticle

00:08:25

like a cuticle - it’s right next to the nail, you

00:08:30

see it I don’t see it where it is you do

00:08:33

n’t see it because I don’t have a

00:08:41

cuticle you don’t have a cuticle Well, you

00:08:44

buy cuticle oil, yes, why do

00:08:47

you buy it cuticle oil if

00:08:49

you don't have a cuticle So that's why I do

00:08:51

n't have a cuticle because I buy cuticle oil look

00:09:05

for say I buy

00:09:08

cartridges No

00:09:11

Why because you don't have a gun

00:09:14

Well done five Why do you buy

00:09:17

cuticle oil if you don't have a cuticle

00:09:19

Because what if I don’t buy

00:09:21

cuticle oil my

00:09:24

cuticle will grow That is, if I don’t buy

00:09:27

cartridges my gun will grow

00:09:31

[applause]

00:09:32

how difficult

00:09:35

it is with stupid people We are stupid Katya yes And

00:09:38

look what you’re buying What

00:09:40

else do we have here? these are tweezers for plucking

00:09:46

mustaches And I understood it like I understood everything from the cuticles

00:09:51

Katya, my dear, you don’t need

00:09:55

to buy all this, you understand You are a victim of

00:09:57

marketing, they specially

00:09:59

put the light here for you, turned on the music, sprayed them with perfume

00:10:02

so that you would rush here, they

00:10:04

pulled you like a fly to this jam

00:10:07

You see, Katya, there’s a lot of unnecessary stuff here, that’s what it is, a

00:10:09

shower cap, are you

00:10:12

freezing in the shower, that you wash yourself from the cap,

00:10:16

Katya, this is what we have here, some kind of

00:10:19

perfume. Temptation. What is the Temptation?

00:10:23

Katya, alcohol

00:10:28

75% agree

00:10:41

Yes, yes, how I like everything

00:10:46

here is so much that is needed God you are my

00:10:51

oh-oh-oh hat for

00:10:55

Doo is that we have hydrogel lauro

00:10:59

regenerating

00:11:04

patches wipe everything, throw away the glass containers,

00:11:08

throw away everything, take the most necessary things, let's go

00:11:11

home, I need everything, I need all of

00:11:19

this, Katya, please understand, you don't need all this, you don't

00:11:24

need anything nature created women

00:11:26

perfect from the very beginning, you understand,

00:11:29

my dear, this was all invented by

00:11:31

marketers in order to make

00:11:33

money from you and me, they sell it all to

00:11:36

us, you understand, a man values what he values in a woman,

00:11:39

first of all, not for the kilograms of cosmetics

00:11:41

that are applied to her, but for her beautiful

00:11:45

soul, the dear female soul, you know,

00:11:50

women My dears, you are truly beautiful

00:11:54

That’s the way you

00:11:57

are

00:11:59

[applause]

00:12:05

Katenka is sweet I love you the way

00:12:08

you are

00:12:10

Katya is the way I am but now I need a primer

00:12:14

concealer highlighter foundation corrector

00:12:16

blush powder mascara eye shadow glitter eyelids

00:12:20

and

00:12:22

this is a mustache for

00:12:25

[music]

00:12:27

Lilliputians here's my photo where I'm without

00:12:34

makeup, we'll take everything Katya, I'll also take out a

00:12:37

loan, we'll get all three of these baskets, we'll take

00:12:40

everything with us, we'll take everything I'm

00:12:43

running to the checkout now, I'm still waiting for you at the checkout kat, that's

00:12:49

how useful it is to carry a photo with you

00:12:54

Nikita Dzhigurda

00:12:58

[music]

00:13:03

Katya, well, you can’t drive,

00:13:05

you know, driving is not yours,

00:13:07

the road is such a complex thing,

00:13:09

transport, too, you need to be able to drive,

00:13:11

but it’s not yours, driving is not yours,

00:13:14

Katya Stop your male

00:13:18

chauvinism that you are spinning on empty

00:13:21

where I’m driving normally, by

00:13:25

the way, I haven’t had a single accident today Yes,

00:13:28

because you haven’t left yet

00:13:30

Katya, you lie on this airbag

00:13:33

Katyusha more often than on the one on the

00:13:36

bed You don’t even look at the road

00:13:39

Katya I hung a mat in the parking lot

00:13:42

so that the sun will shine in the interior not Inferno, such a

00:13:44

silver one hung on the windshield, you

00:13:50

drove with it for a week I thought it was fog and there’s

00:13:55

a fog in your head Katyushenka and And in general I

00:13:57

would drive normally, but

00:14:00

these pieces of iron under my

00:14:06

feet are in the way, these are the pedals They

00:14:09

gave them to you, and you drive with them And for

00:14:14

me they

00:14:17

interfere everything interferes in general everything interferes you are

00:14:20

distracted all the time Okay, there are other

00:14:23

girls there listening to music God

00:14:25

is talking to the phone on the phone

00:14:29

[music]

00:14:32

a thousand for a room Katya, well, what’s bad But I knitted those

00:14:35

warm pants for the winter,

00:14:38

I’ll show you the pants Yes, I knitted them for

00:14:41

me Katya

00:14:46

pants, am I a squid or something? Please tell me, just

00:14:53

a little bit,

00:14:57

talk to

00:15:00

the navigator. He can’t hear you, even though he

00:15:03

speaks in a woman’s voice. Katya, and I

00:15:06

’m asking you why yesterday you

00:15:09

chased a man to the side of the road

00:15:11

in a car right behind the wheel. I went after him

00:15:13

He wanted to

00:15:16

eat me I mean eat me I’m approaching a

00:15:19

turn there are two men standing and

00:15:23

the navigator tells me the first

00:15:27

exit

00:15:30

Katya exit and until he ate me I

00:15:34

chased after him proactively you understand

00:15:36

God you are my Katya you can’t be allowed on the road at all

00:15:39

you can’t do anything you don’t understand

00:15:41

You don’t even know the signs Katya Yes I

00:15:44

know all the signs me at night Wake you up I’ll

00:15:46

answer any sign I know now let’s check it’s

00:15:49

not a problem now we’ll check now we’ll

00:15:54

check Tell me

00:15:57

the floor What kind of sign is this

00:16:01

button What button Katya blue and

00:16:05

red are you blind what are you How do you drive

00:16:07

those licenses you need to collect it I'm sleepy Sing Yes

00:16:11

okay That's what you see here Katya what is this

00:16:13

sign the diagram of a

00:16:17

round dance is it a circular movement and

00:16:21

how does a round dance go it walks in a circle oh uh

00:16:23

the rush it's time to get knocked up from

00:16:27

Ivano

00:16:29

Katyushenka you surprise me that is this a

00:16:31

sign tell me that I know that

00:16:34

only red and black

00:16:38

cars can drive here it’s in your head that

00:16:41

only red and black cockroaches can drive

00:16:42

these cars Oh Katya what is this sign

00:16:45

Tell me that it reminds you of

00:16:50

Svetka Why does Svetka have crooked legs

00:16:53

she walks like this, you

00:16:56

know, you should know it's not

00:17:02

pregnant, all the girls

00:17:05

know wrong,

00:17:09

pregnant No, that's what I'm saying. Not pregnant,

00:17:13

you yourself don't understand anything,

00:17:15

what kind of sign is I, I'll tell you,

00:17:17

wait, wait, don't rush, I'll tell you,

00:17:20

you saw it 100% saw CR white

00:17:23

CR white according to them the person is

00:17:27

walking the

00:17:29

piano wrong Katya I also think

00:17:32

it’s wrong to play the piano with your hands

00:17:35

and not with your feet to

00:17:38

walk what kind of sign is this Please tell me

00:17:41

what is this

00:17:42

worm Katya I’m telling you this is

00:17:47

feminine Twisty Twisty

00:17:53

cherchi kat these are road signs Here

00:17:56

look, what kind of road sign is this, say that

00:17:59

these are two twisty worms chasing a

00:18:02

black

00:18:04

car, good What is this What is this who

00:18:08

is driving The collectors are carrying your

00:18:11

salary Why Because you have a

00:18:14

salary of

00:18:17

88,000 Katya Katya This is what I’m telling you again

00:18:20

these are road signs this is about road

00:18:23

all the signs what this sign means this

00:18:27

sign

00:18:29

bad road why Well you see all the letters

00:18:33

didn’t fit [ __ ] the whole

00:18:37

word

00:18:40

what kind of sign Leps

00:18:46

lost his glasses road signs Katya about the road

00:18:50

what does this

00:18:51

mean you can earn extra 500

00:18:56

rubles How do you know Katya your salary is

00:19:05

88,000 what is this sign that

00:19:08

only

00:19:10

women can drive here? And this is who can drive here Katyusha

00:19:14

and only women with big busts can drive here.

00:19:19

Well, you see only half of

00:19:22

it. And this is who can drive here, but

00:19:31

men can drive here too Katya, these are road signs, what do

00:19:35

men have to do with it? what does this sign mean? Tell me what does

00:19:37

this sign mean? The retirement

00:19:39

age is 60

00:19:41

years old, and this has been cancelled. 60

00:19:48

years have been extended to

00:19:51

100 to 100 years. We will

00:19:55

work Katya, give the last sign,

00:19:59

husband of a

00:20:02

business trip. That’s enough; I don’t have time

00:20:05

to talk to you, otherwise I’m already late for

00:20:07

work, come on, Help me.

00:20:09

get dressed Katenka Maybe you're on sick leave

00:20:11

after all Maybe you won't go to

00:20:13

work today kat Are you

00:20:18

taking pictures of us today on the

00:20:23

honor board that's all I

00:20:25

went so

00:20:28

[applause]

00:20:30

so Nina Petrovna that I'm late for work What's

00:20:33

wrong with you I feel it's

00:20:36

my time oh What grief,

00:20:41

how will we be without

00:20:46

you? Yes, what are you saying? Nina

00:20:49

Petrovna, you still have to live and live,

00:20:53

ugh, help me And

00:20:57

now,

00:21:02

don’t die. Help, help me

00:21:07

prepare the funeral procedure so that everything

00:21:11

goes smoothly,

00:21:13

organized and not like your stanko and

00:21:19

wedding. So you are ours the wedding was ruined

00:21:23

they said the host dearly I myself will host

00:21:25

the singer dearly I myself will sing you you zsha

00:21:29

dearly I myself will

00:21:31

undress that first they undressed then in

00:21:33

this form they led and

00:21:35

sang everything everyone who is old will remember as

00:21:40

they say and by the way about the

00:21:45

eye you when in our you're spying on the bedroom,

00:21:49

at least don't give me advice, don't give me advice on what I should do

00:21:53

[music] I'm

00:21:59

dying, my whole life's work is disappearing,

00:22:05

what's the business of doing nasty things to you

00:22:11

Vovik how many times to repeat how many times

00:22:14

to repeat I'm not Vovik I'm

00:22:16

Vladimir Putin Vladimir And you

00:22:22

Vovik means Vovik Vladimir Vovik you

00:22:27

'll put me face down in a coffin

00:22:30

down

00:22:32

Why don't I want to see how

00:22:37

happy you are now So listen to the menu at the

00:22:43

wake oysters crabs

00:22:47

amara red caviar And sitri you and

00:22:52

Brandy are very

00:22:54

expensive and I want your tears at

00:22:58

the wake to be

00:23:04

sincere [applause] So that means Look

00:23:09

here is the list of

00:23:13

mourners Ivan Kuzmich Pyotr Dmitrievich

00:23:16

pulcheria Stepanovna, so they all died a long time ago

00:23:19

And this is the list of

00:23:26

those greeting, wait Here is the list of

00:23:30

those seeing off here is Philip Kirkorov Stas

00:23:33

Mikhailov

00:23:35

morning star Lady Gaga Nikolai Baskov did you

00:23:39

eat finaz pama or

00:23:42

something Yes, I really

00:23:45

cross out Baskov, he will take all the flowers for himself

00:23:50

So now it remains choose a date

00:23:55

When I leave this mortal

00:23:59

world so

00:24:02

diary So that means the fourth I can’t have a

00:24:09

manicure on the fifth tattoo

00:24:12

[music]

00:24:14

eyebrows on the seventh

00:24:16

hair removal Listen,

00:24:19

I’ll die once I die on the sixth Well, if I die on the

00:24:24

sixth how will I go for hair removal

00:24:28

I can’t die on the sixth because I’ve

00:24:31

already paid for hair removal on the

00:24:35

sixth, so on the sixth I

00:24:39

’ll go to

00:24:42

the appeal for you. Wait, if I don’t have time

00:24:47

to rest, you go to the priest. Let him

00:24:52

wash away my

00:24:53

sins, here’s a list of my sins.

00:25:04

This is the first

00:25:07

volume, this is before

00:25:13

graduation and This is a monument to me,

00:25:18

make it richer, which one is richer Now there’s a

00:25:21

money crisis no, it’s richer, on the contrary, it’s cheaper,

00:25:24

you have to look for it. I found a used one on

00:25:26

Avito.

00:25:32

No, it’s almost nothing,

00:25:39

but it says Sleep well, dear

00:25:45

Fyodor. Well, Yash is not Fyodor. You’re

00:25:50

capricious; we still have to choose a coffin; here’s a

00:25:53

catalog of coffins they have right now;

00:25:54

the promotion is all three times cheaper times now you need to

00:25:57

make it d days only

00:25:58

left oh your eyes

00:26:02

are running wild throw it back

00:26:07

comfortably I like this model

00:26:11

Imperial

00:26:13

orthopedic

00:26:17

base three angles of

00:26:22

the mattress you look at the price It’s very

00:26:25

expensive here’s our

00:26:26

small version how can I

00:26:30

fit in there Well you somehow fit in suitcase

00:26:33

When you wanted me to take you to Sochi

00:26:35

for free on the

00:26:38

train, you didn’t let me out for 3 days

00:26:44

until I

00:26:48

gnawed a hole, you’re just a miser, we

00:26:52

opened a sick dance circle for the

00:26:55

elderly gray-haired near

00:26:59

Karach So you didn’t give me 5,000 for the circle

00:27:04

Maybe I want to dance cha-cha-cha

00:27:07

What kind of cha-cha-cha do you want? One of your legs doesn’t

00:27:11

bend to the other leg, you’re limping in your hand, the

00:27:14

nerves are pinched, it shoots you up

00:27:17

like

00:27:22

a barrier, you didn’t pick up the musical

00:27:26

accompaniment, we can even

00:27:28

rehearse

00:27:30

I’m happy like

00:27:33

[music ]

00:27:35

no one the song should be about me it

00:27:39

should reflect my inner essence here is a

00:27:43

song about your inner

00:27:46

essence

00:27:47

[music] let’s

00:27:50

not yours not ours neutral

00:27:55

song Okay let’s

00:27:58

hum as if it’s

00:28:01

coming up Normal Yes, okay I’ll

00:28:04

come to you I’ll be

00:28:12

with you oh I’m dying Yeah Volovik remember in the

00:28:19

upholstery of the chair I sewed up my stones what kind of

00:28:23

stones Three large rue

00:28:26

stones that the

00:28:32

gallbladder is the only thing that would bring me back

00:28:36

to life This is a cha-cha-cha

00:28:42

grandmother dancing a cha-cha-cha - This is the

00:28:53

nonsense of a seventy-eight-year-old grandfather

00:28:57

who falls asleep at a

00:29:00

press conference runs a nuclear

00:29:04

power This is not

00:29:07

nonsense oil is getting cheaper, gasoline is getting more expensive This is

00:29:13

not

00:29:15

nonsense Buzova plays VM Khata and it’s them

00:29:21

[applause] It’s

00:29:24

nonsense and grandma wants to dance cha-cha-cha

00:29:35

nonsense I’m

00:29:36

still dying

00:29:40

Vovik Even though I didn’t love you in

00:29:45

the same way, I bequeath to you 10 million Yes, you are a

00:29:51

Holy

00:29:54

[music]

00:29:55

woman of TV, I am you, I have always loved you, I

00:29:59

just

00:30:02

hid you and didn’t

00:30:05

listen to the end, I bequeath to you 10 Mil for a

00:30:11

long time in a quick

00:30:15

loan at 700 about per

00:30:20

annum, everything where are you going with such

00:30:24

debts Nina

00:30:26

Petrovna,

00:30:27

what

00:30:33

about

00:30:36

[applause]

00:30:37

[music]

00:30:40

[ applause]

00:30:45

Chachacha dear

00:30:47

guests, today we are celebrating the

00:30:50

wedding of my dear son,

00:30:54

handsome Is my Falcon Clear and this

00:30:59

snake

00:31:03

Angelina, it says And this

00:31:06

joyful day has come when my son, my

00:31:10

kitten, my fledgling

00:31:13

chick, having not lived with his mother for 47

00:31:17

years, rushes into a New

00:31:20

life with this with this

00:31:26

I compare Alino’s girl with a precious

00:31:29

stone Well, there’s a diamond with an emerald

00:31:34

Vitaly’s grandfather and found this

00:31:38

cobblestone son don’t be nervous Not everything is

00:31:42

fine everything mom is happy Mom fell in love

00:31:46

That goat of yours Angelina everything is fine mommy

00:31:51

will only praise her just praise

00:31:53

you Look how beautiful Alina is

00:31:58

he has white teeth,

00:32:02

it’s more even, It’s a pity that there are only

00:32:05

two and she has legs, look at our uncle Tolya,

00:32:10

when he saw her legs, he said oh, I’m

00:32:14

saying, What’s that about, O, he says, her legs

00:32:17

form the letter O, they are in the straight legs of

00:32:21

happiness Yes Vita But her nose is not

00:32:26

straight humps for 2

00:32:31

MT you see the car mommy praises everything And

00:32:35

what a good appetite oh when

00:32:39

they threw this Well before the zaksa millet Well for

00:32:42

luck So she ate right on the

00:32:46

fly not a single grain

00:32:51

reached the ground 6 kg of millet went into her

00:32:59

son’s crop Well, I understand everything, well, it happens

00:33:02

that Well,

00:33:05

the girl is unlucky with her appearance Well,

00:33:09

there are eyes looking in different

00:33:13

directions, the receptionist

00:33:15

Shaza, an experienced person, asked Yes, how did one

00:33:21

of the same

00:33:25

Neva was the bride price, you gave 6

00:33:30

rubles I think you are expensive

00:33:33

Yes, her mother should have given you

00:33:37

change 5 rubles 50 kopecks Sina Everything is fine Everything

00:33:42

is fine mom glasses praises mom

00:33:45

likes everything and what kind of animals it is Angelina

00:33:50

What a well-mannered person came to visit us,

00:33:54

sat down so elegantly modestly on her jacket and

00:33:58

so politely said evening in the hut in the Art

00:34:04

Brotherhood and what beautiful tattoos she has

00:34:08

you see Vitalik, mommy only praises the

00:34:11

elegant ones What tattoos did she

00:34:15

tell you Vitalik that they tattooed her domes in

00:34:22

Artek it was a different camp

00:34:27

yes In Artek they don’t

00:34:32

have a rest for 7 years yea what are you yelling there Don’t you

00:34:36

dare dance you see I’m telling me

00:34:38

no no

00:34:41

dances I remember at Vitalka’s this Spring

00:34:44

joyful day be

00:34:47

damned when you Vitalik came and so

00:34:51

worry

00:34:53

said Mom I fell in love with

00:34:57

Angelina I thought Well, finally, because

00:35:02

all the men in the city already fell in love with

00:35:05

Angelina and only you still don’t have a son Everything

00:35:10

is fine Everything is fine son everything is

00:35:12

fine, mom is positive, mom is working with a

00:35:17

psychologist, the psychologist is helping

00:35:20

me a lot, he told me right away Alina Yurievna says

00:35:23

don’t worry, don’t be nervous, sooner

00:35:27

or later, she

00:35:28

’ll die, help me. Well, not for dancing, I

00:35:33

say Vichka, everything is fine, mom

00:35:36

likes everything, and what a

00:35:39

hamadrya Angelina is hard-working Oh, not for a minute

00:35:44

doesn’t sit idle for a minute, she eats,

00:35:47

she smokes, she sits there. That’s the mustache torn out from under her

00:35:50

nose with pliers. I say to

00:35:54

hell with that mustache. You can’t

00:35:58

see the beard. And her mother is kind of a housewife

00:36:03

after the banquet. Well, it’s customary that good things are

00:36:07

left on the table Well, people didn’t eat,

00:36:10

so they disappeared, so it’s customary to

00:36:13

take her home so her mother put all this grub

00:36:16

in bags, put it all home for herself, her

00:36:25

son resisted something, mom

00:36:29

started talking about howling, howling Angelina,

00:36:33

let’s drink to the happiness of the newlyweds, it’s bitter

00:36:39

how she came up with the idea of getting married, she

00:36:43

didn’t like

00:36:46

Angelina Well, think about it, I didn’t

00:36:49

say anything bad, I just

00:36:54

praised you, only my mother

00:37:02

loves you, you only want to live with mommy

00:37:08

[music]

00:37:14

but now I

00:37:19

[music]

00:37:22

dance in every family, sooner or later, the

00:37:25

main question arises in the family and

00:37:28

disputes begin, screams, scandals in our

00:37:31

family This question also arose But

00:37:34

since we are a family of comedians, we

00:37:36

decided it this way: whoever has the funniest jokes is the one

00:37:41

in the family and the one in charge All then I’ll start the

00:37:44

law of barbecue; before you have time to say 100 times to

00:37:49

Chevapchichi, everything

00:37:55

rolls down the pipe, falls into the

00:37:58

pool and speaks to the camera How you understand

00:38:01

the topic of today's program, work of the

00:38:07

intestines, guys And I had

00:38:10

plastic surgery for myself. Are you a fool? No, I'm

00:38:13

not a fool, now I'm a

00:38:18

fool. Two women are talking. My husband has gone

00:38:22

crazy, can you imagine taking off his socks every evening,

00:38:24

but that's normal? Oh, if only the

00:38:28

passers-by from whom he takes them off thought so

00:38:33

Hillary Clinton's daughter is pregnant

00:38:38

in the West they claim that this

00:38:40

was also done by Russian

00:38:45

hackers the oldest resident of Russia

00:38:49

is

00:38:51

125 years old when asked what is the secret of

00:38:55

longevity he answered

00:38:59

mortgage the bank won't let you die until you pay off

00:39:08

Kolya Why are you taking a selfie

00:39:13

with chocolate

00:39:15

What did I

00:39:20

eat then science news discovered for the first time

00:39:24

particles larger than

00:39:27

this are the governors who, after a direct

00:39:29

line with the president, rushed to

00:39:32

the victims, so I realized that in order for

00:39:34

everything to be fine in our country, we need to

00:39:37

conduct a direct line with the president not once a

00:39:39

year, but every day, and I guarantee in

00:39:42

six months we will have the most prosperous

00:39:44

country in the world

00:39:48

agree Captain shouts to the sailor man on

00:39:53

board urgently Circle sailor of Vladimirsk

00:39:58

central

00:40:02

north wind due to the financial crisis and

00:40:06

falling incomes of the population

00:40:08

self-service car washes have appeared everywhere Where

00:40:11

you wash your car yourself and it turns out

00:40:13

much cheaper

00:40:17

Self-service dentistry is on the way as well as the prosecutor's office and the

00:40:19

court

00:40:24

self-service that this is such a fool,

00:40:26

well, where it stands The Equestrian Monument to

00:40:30

Dzhigurda there is no such city Damn me

00:40:33

again fake thousand

00:40:35

sonar

00:40:37

innovation now when you call the police

00:40:42

an answering machine will talk to you Thank you for calling the

00:40:45

police if you are beaten dial

00:40:50

one if you were deceived by scammers dial

00:40:53

two if you were taken away

00:40:58

mobile phone you dialed the number O if they

00:41:01

beat you hard dial two if they kick you

00:41:04

dial 348 47 15 extension 22

00:41:08

57 328 395 If you lose consciousness

00:41:12

press the

00:41:18

star in Russia the car navigator tells

00:41:20

the driver in a female voice after 100

00:41:25

turn in Dagestan a woman does not dare

00:41:29

talk to a man so impudently that

00:41:32

’s why the Dagestan navigator

00:41:34

talks

00:41:36

like this, of course I’m very sorry, who am I to

00:41:41

advise you? You’re the

00:41:45

best, the smartest, you’re just what kind of

00:41:49

driver. But if you have a desire,

00:41:52

after 100 metro a little bit, turn on

00:41:57

this, of course, it’s your personal business, whatever you

00:42:00

want, I didn’t tell you say you left

00:42:03

the route I see you are going with a girl, I did

00:42:06

n’t want to embarrass you and unless of course

00:42:10

your choice is to ride around Makhachkala in

00:42:14

a circle, you do everything right Nuno if

00:42:19

you are already tired That’s 4 hours That’s

00:42:22

circling around this damned junction and you already

00:42:26

want to get there in this damn

00:42:28

car service center, turn a little bit

00:42:35

[applause]

00:42:37

to the left, one guy to another, you hear my

00:42:40

girlfriend read a recipe for

00:42:42

breast enlargement, you have to eat cabbage every day and

00:42:45

wash it down with vodka Now she’s wearing what

00:42:49

size five, not her hands

00:42:53

[applause]

00:42:55

the girl is shaking something You're doctor's

00:42:58

sausage, some kind of Treasured, not fresh Yes,

00:43:01

you mean, this is fresh sausage, they just

00:43:03

brought it like that saleswoman Lucy Defended her

00:43:06

doctorate

00:43:10

Nowadays, it's customary for pop stars to take

00:43:13

pseudonyms trees Well, you know, Yolka

00:43:16

Jasmine That seems very correct to me

00:43:18

As they say What kind of songs are such

00:43:21

pseudonyms I think we need them

00:43:23

call everyone trees and plants,

00:43:25

look, Bulanova will be willow because

00:43:28

weeping Ukupnik ribina curly unban

00:43:32

fallen maple Dzhigurda fly agaric Volochkova

00:43:39

pineapple Wait wait Why Volochkova

00:43:42

pineapple because she

00:43:47

hesitated you

00:43:49

know Natasha I was thinking why

00:43:52

find out who is in charge in our family The main

00:43:54

thing is for our comfort the family was in a

00:43:57

good mood

00:43:59

[applause]

00:44:11

thank you Hello Rescue Service

00:44:15

Rescue Service save me I'm lost

00:44:17

Frost min 30 blizzard I ate for 2 days my

00:44:20

phone is dying please Send

00:44:22

Rescuers Send rescuers

00:44:25

please Thank you for calling our

00:44:27

Rescue Service We always promptly

00:44:30

come to the rescue for during the reporting period of the

00:44:32

first ten days, we saved an average of 23

00:44:35

people per

00:44:37

month, as the great Russian

00:44:39

writer Lep Nikolaevich Tolstoy said, man is the

00:44:43

highest value of nature Unfortunately,

00:44:45

now all operators of the Rescue Service are

00:44:48

busy Please stay on the line, the

00:44:51

first available operator will answer you

00:44:57

[applause]

00:44:59

your number is in queues

00:45:02

[applause]

00:45:05

[music]

00:45:06

[applause]

00:45:08

345 Hello hello a hello

00:45:14

[music]

00:45:16

hello good afternoon Can you hear me yes I hear I hear

00:45:20

please save me I'm

00:45:21

lost Frost -30 I'm freezing I'm walking

00:45:24

next to the wolves Save Send Rescuers

00:45:26

faster please I'm your electronic

00:45:28

virtual assistant Irina How can I

00:45:33

contact you which virtual assistant is a

00:45:35

damn fool Dear damned

00:45:39

fool if you are drowning say

00:45:42

one if lions are chasing you Say

00:45:46

two if a shark bites you Say

00:45:49

three I got lost in the forest got lost

00:45:53

Pony If you are lost in the

00:45:56

war fox Say

00:45:58

two if you are lost in a deciduous

00:46:01

fox Say three If you get lost in the

00:46:04

conifers in a deciduous forest Say chera

00:46:08

If you get lost in the conifers in a deciduous

00:46:10

forest with a predominance of

00:46:13

conifers Say five to listen to the

00:46:16

entire message again Say

00:46:20

one word Electron came Rescuers I dawn the

00:46:24

phone rescued quickly nearby wolves

00:46:29

wolves nearby

00:46:30

faster the wolves got lost too the

00:46:34

wolves were found don't stop a hundred save me

00:46:39

Rescuers Come please I want to

00:46:40

hear a person a person I want to hear a

00:46:42

person you want to hear a person

00:46:46

for you yours Grigory

00:46:50

Levki not this person who opened his mouth

00:46:54

with his eyes zyr

00:46:58

to speak not to sing

00:47:01

[applause]

00:47:02

morning star I hate music I understand you

00:47:06

hate music then listen to Olga

00:47:12

Buzova the wolf came he wants to eat me

00:47:15

What should I do What should I do Tell him quickly

00:47:18

distract him

00:47:19

[applause] give

00:47:26

him food and I have no food I

00:47:29

only have a sausage from Pyaterochka

00:47:35

Ana Vols planted sausages and

00:47:42

died This is where the

00:47:45

rice is Where call now A 112 I

00:47:49

remember there are always Rescuers coming, come on, come on,

00:47:51

quickly, quickly, in the movies, I

00:47:53

saw Come on, Rescuers, quickly,

00:47:55

quickly, Hello What happened Lord, a living

00:47:58

woman, a living woman, finally a living woman,

00:48:00

finally a living woman Listen, who were you

00:48:04

talking to before? Don't scare me The rescuers have come I'm

00:48:08

freezing Oh here the Bear came quickly

00:48:11

The rescuers came to me faster The rescuers

00:48:12

for me I'm keeping me cold we can't have a

00:48:15

cat crawling under a pipe all six

00:48:18

rescue teams are there saving the

00:48:21

cat what kind of cat There are people here people need to be

00:48:24

rescued This is the city mayor's cat now not up to

00:48:28

people let's save the cat

00:48:32

we'll call back Why I'm not a cat Mora of the city

00:48:35

Hello yes dentistry happy tooth

00:48:39

offer

00:48:42

removal service remove We have four teeth, the fifth

00:48:45

tooth will be removed for

00:48:48

free tear out the

00:48:52

fool it's a lucky tooth it's the

00:48:56

cat's rescuer they took out the pipe ho but he

00:48:58

climbed a

00:49:00

tree from stress mayor promised an apartment just to

00:49:03

get the cat, so all six

00:49:06

rescue teams are climbing the tree, they called a

00:49:09

helicopter, I still can’t continue. I also

00:49:11

climbed the

00:49:16

tree, you’re thinking about where to buy luxury

00:49:20

real estate. Yes, with bears or with

00:49:23

wolves, I’m thinking about where I can buy bears here

00:49:26

about a helicopter, a helicopter, now they’ll save me, I’m

00:49:29

here. here it’s not a cat, not a cat,

00:49:35

we’re flying away

00:49:37

meow

00:49:40

[applause]

00:49:42

mur it’s a rescuer,

00:49:46

the tree broke under the weight of the rescuers and the rescuers with the cat

00:49:49

fell into the river now we’re looking for rescuers

00:49:52

to save the

00:49:54

rescuers your call

00:49:57

is cancelled. Well, it can’t be like that,

00:50:00

it can’t be like that, that a person wouldn’t be

00:50:01

saved ses now the bell will ring and they

00:50:03

will save me, here

00:50:05

we are spamming you yes I believed in the extra

00:50:09

expenses when buying luxury

00:50:11

real estate and we give a discount of 12 kopecks for

00:50:14

every million

00:50:19

rubles where to call I’m not a pony Where should I

00:50:23

call a taxi I know they always come

00:50:27

taxi The car will

00:50:31

call in a minute from the driver Yes Hello Hey friend

00:50:35

Listen, I'm standing here

00:50:38

gh such a trigger Hoy brown this is not a

00:50:44

Bear he's a

00:50:46

car Maybe I'll

00:50:49

take him from him I don't

00:50:54

see you Hello I'm here

00:50:58

you see you don't not without a mask I won't take you I won't

00:51:16

be fined citizens wear a mask it will save

00:51:23

life for you, son, Dad and I want to talk to you. The

00:51:27

fact is that Dad and I Well,

00:51:31

sometimes it happens in life that Yin and Yang

00:51:35

get separated, a

00:51:36

pen falls off the pot, a flea

00:51:40

jumps off,

00:51:42

dogs Well, the router no longer connects to the

00:51:45

Internet, in short, son, my mother and

00:51:48

I are getting a divorce. I was thinking something with

00:51:53

the Internet. In general, son, you are already an

00:51:55

adult, you must decide who you

00:51:57

will stay with mom or dad, son,

00:52:00

if you stay with me, we will

00:52:02

go with you to theaters, to the philharmonic, to

00:52:06

museums, we will enjoy classical

00:52:09

music and masterpieces of painting. we'll go to

00:52:12

the planetarium and you'll see the birth of stars

00:52:15

and new galaxies;

00:52:23

pizza chips;

00:52:27

I'll allow you to throw eggs from

00:52:31

the balcony; you

00:52:54

have to dress him to feed him,

00:52:57

well, why am I not going to dress the child or what? So I

00:52:59

bought him an excellent T-shirt. Why,

00:53:02

then, is he still wearing this jacket on top of his

00:53:04

son? Show me what kind of T-shirt your dad

00:53:15

bought for you, but there was a sale, you know, I

00:53:18

bought something that was cheaper. I took it for myself.

00:53:24

look,

00:53:27

in general, clothes are not the main thing, a boy

00:53:29

should grow up with his father, for example, I

00:53:31

taught him how to hammer nails. Yes, you never

00:53:34

hit a nail with a hammer, all the time you were

00:53:36

hitting his fingers and in the end he taught the child something

00:53:39

completely different to say the word is not

00:53:42

necessary, but we put together an excellent birdhouse with him

00:53:45

the birdhouse is excellent, only you

00:53:48

forgot to cut out the entrance, the starlings fly in to

00:53:52

swear and

00:53:54

fly away,

00:53:55

understand, you understand, the child is

00:53:59

responsible, he has lessons at his

00:54:01

school, I will do

00:54:04

homework with him You should already do biology lessons with him

00:54:07

to the question Where are snakes

00:54:09

written Gogol street house this address my

00:54:13

mother and to the question and to the question a liquid

00:54:18

without which life on earth is impossible

00:54:20

What did Dad write

00:54:23

beer you know you’re not a professor either you

00:54:27

couldn’t find London on the map I couldn’t find London on the

00:54:29

map yes because the map was

00:54:32

defective there wasn’t London there wasn’t

00:54:35

yes Because that you looked at a map of the

00:54:37

Moscow

00:54:39

region and to find London you need a map

00:54:44

of Russia or maybe a map of the world Don’t be smart,

00:54:48

you know better, higher education

00:54:50

What is your higher education did you

00:54:52

buy a diploma in an underground passage for

00:54:54

700 rubles

00:54:56

When did you buy it Well, at least you

00:54:58

looked at what’s there it is written that such

00:55:00

an institute does not exist in nature

00:55:03

mining ballet Academy of space

00:55:11

pig breeding Yes, you’re just jealous you’re

00:55:14

jealous of me

00:55:19

Thea I hate nevi dads here Our class

00:55:23

asks Are we going to participate in a

00:55:25

competition for the most friendly

00:55:28

family? You understand, son, in our

00:55:30

circumstances this is not very appropriate

00:55:33

Yes, it’s easy the task is to sing a

00:55:36

song with the whole family. There was a grasshopper sitting in the grass. My

00:55:38

grasshopper. My dad and I have

00:55:42

no time for songs right now, you understand, we now

00:55:44

have to decide whether you will live with your

00:55:47

dad or, of course, with your mother, son. If

00:55:50

you live with me, I will send you to

00:55:52

boxing, you will be like Valuev. bald or

00:55:57

something And if you stay with me, I’ll teach

00:56:01

you to drive a car. Who would teach you

00:56:04

to drive a car? You don’t understand

00:56:06

anything about it at all. I told you, put

00:56:08

new spark plugs on the car, you put

00:56:10

wax candles on the hood and

00:56:14

drove off, and you’re good too. Who came up with the idea of

00:56:17

giving him 000 rubles for each

00:56:19

book he read, he reads 50,000 books a day

00:56:25

And the most important thing is that it’s all money down the

00:56:29

drain, it’s all useless because he does

00:56:31

n’t remember anything anyway Wait, son,

00:56:34

come on Benjamin Edward Stanford Volume 8

00:56:38

page 345 for If it seems you that

00:56:42

love has passed, has dried up like the bed of an old

00:56:44

lifeless river, like the last drop of

00:56:46

dew that has betrayed itself in the trembling

00:56:48

interweaving of emerald leaves of flying

00:56:50

silent clusters of white hydrangea, then

00:56:53

know that it is not love that has left, but you have left and

00:56:56

stopped

00:57:02

seeing it What a

00:57:04

great fellow 500 rubles for a retelling You see with

00:57:08

us there is complete mutual understanding with him And how

00:57:11

will you communicate with him? You do

00:57:13

n’t even understand the language of teenagers, I

00:57:15

understand everything that NOC Son, say something

00:57:17

Well, I was on intu on the avu xre trolling the

00:57:20

moon hype, sorry Bro, this is a fake

00:57:23

bow Well, I banned these bots Well I

00:57:27

understood everything He went for onions in boots

00:57:31

[music]

00:57:33

banned lol mother This is complete rubbish, you wo

00:57:37

n’t taste anything at all, you talk like you’re talking to your mother,

00:57:39

and where did you

00:57:41

pick up these moronic words in this smartphone of

00:57:43

yours from morning to night you stare at it,

00:57:46

you grew up soulless indifferent

00:57:49

generation, you don’t understand at all Yes, what

00:57:51

’s going on, you’re just staring at your nasty things,

00:57:53

you’re reading these, what are you here? You’re reading how to

00:57:56

reconcile your

00:57:57

parents. What to do if your shoelaces

00:58:00

go crazy

00:58:01

and there’s a

00:58:03

blizzard, how not to cry When mom and dad

00:58:07

get divorced and your whole world is

00:58:10

collapsing, what should we

00:58:15

do now? Don’t

00:58:17

I know, for if it seems to you that love

00:58:20

has passed, dried up like the bed of an old

00:58:22

lifeless river, like a drop in the

00:58:26

tremulous interweaving of emerald leaves

00:58:28

feeding the silent, threatening white

00:58:30

hydrangea, then know that it is not love that has left,

00:58:34

but you have left and stopped seeing it

00:58:37

[applause] through the

00:58:42

mouth of a baby

00:58:45

the truth says 500

00:58:48

rubles and

00:58:51

they change the nanny, it’s harmful for maternity leave and me. What kind of

00:58:58

maternity leave? What is maternity leave? What

00:59:01

will my

00:59:02

brother be? No, not a brother, but

00:59:06

who?

00:59:08

And I understood Well, it’s okay that she has clothes for the

00:59:12

first time,

00:59:23

then for the first

00:59:28

time, a

00:59:36

grasshopper was sitting in the grass. A grasshopper was sitting in the grass,

00:59:41

just somehow.

00:59:45

[music]

00:59:51

bitter green he was imagining

00:59:55

Imagine sucking like a cucumber

00:59:57

Imagine Imagine green he

01:00:02

was the end of the second period of the match between the

01:00:06

women's teams Mytishchi's Cleopatra

01:00:09

and Vyrov's

01:00:13

Adi Cursed be the day when I

01:00:16

agreed to coach the women's factory

01:00:18

hockey team oh my God I thought

01:00:22

lovely, gentle women, at least there won’t be

01:00:25

these terrible fights, you fight worse

01:00:28

than men, men, at least there on the ice

01:00:31

they fight with an opponent And you, friends and friends,

01:00:34

fight even before the start of the game in the locker room,

01:00:36

right, and what did Irka say that my

01:00:38

eyebrows are of an irrelevant

01:00:41

shape, my God you were fighting because of some eyebrows

01:00:46

like these So they were

01:00:49

flying in clumps around the locker room this is whose This is

01:00:52

whose my

01:00:55

three times

01:00:58

they howled all the beauty What a beauty this is

01:01:02

hockey hockey here we need goals goals

01:01:05

we need you understand I told you how many times

01:01:08

your raid The main thing is that there were

01:01:10

goals So when the goals came out, you

01:01:14

told us to get dressed

01:01:18

[applause]

01:01:23

fools,

01:01:27

put on this hat, I’ll take it off, it’s

01:01:30

ugly, it’s not a hat, it’s a helmet. It

01:01:34

protects your little brain. Can I

01:01:39

at least do something like this, like

01:01:42

Zyuzin’s case, the main thing is that you play normally,

01:01:45

you understand You're the one who's going to get on my nerves.

01:01:53

Chere's not like

01:01:56

that You drive in covers, you have

01:02:00

n't taken off the covers

01:02:03

Zyuzina And how did you even name your team?

01:02:06

Who thought of calling it

01:02:09

Mytishchi Cleopatra? I saw myself in the mirror,

01:02:13

where are you? Where's Cleopatra? Stanislav

01:02:16

Sergeevich Well, the name you

01:02:19

suggested worse, what kind of

01:02:23

monkeys

01:02:24

with

01:02:25

sticks are fools on the

01:02:29

ice? These names were dictated to me by the life

01:02:32

of training with you, you understand.

01:02:35

Here I have

01:02:38

statistics: in 20 games you have

01:02:41

n’t hit the puck with your stick more than once. Why did I take the stick

01:02:44

to the bank? You see, here two rhinestones

01:02:48

fell off, here

01:02:53

they got scratched, so well Give me

01:02:55

your rhinestones here, this is what is written here,

01:03:00

a cheat sheet, our those who are in

01:03:04

red, hit the black with this stick,

01:03:08

which round piece is from hockey player Ko

01:03:12

Zyuzina, this is a puck

01:03:14

[laughter]

01:03:16

puck, where do pucks even go from the field,

01:03:19

dropping no pucks, throwing in no

01:03:22

pucks, referee 20 pucks in general threw away

01:03:25

none left Where did they go Where did

01:03:27

the washers go Now just one second now Hello

01:03:30

mom these black things that I

01:03:34

gave you so that you can put hot pots on

01:03:36

and I think they

01:03:41

need how to work with you in general I don’t

01:03:44

understand at all I don’t understand you’re losing the whole fight

01:03:47

I understand I was yelling at you the whole

01:03:50

game there Catch up, catch up with the attacker Take the ball

01:03:53

from her

01:03:54

What did I do I caught up with her I

01:03:57

forgot what to take away from her I took away her

01:04:01

mobile phone, took away her money, took away her wallet, took away the watch,

01:04:04

took away the gold chain and forgot the

01:04:08

puck

01:04:11

[applause]

01:04:13

you forgot Captain Why aren’t you following

01:04:16

for discipline in the team Why did the crazy

01:04:20

goalkeepers leave the goal right in the middle of the game

01:04:23

oh she has a good reason, she’s booked in for a

01:04:26

pedicure

01:04:28

Why after the game you can’t get a

01:04:31

pedicure you can’t have your nails grown so bad

01:04:34

that her skates tore her he tore

01:04:39

all the ice to the asphalt with his claws

01:04:49

[applause]

01:04:54

they kicked out for the fact that he

01:04:56

chewed up a piece of paper and

01:04:58

spat on what class he was in,

01:05:02

he was a

01:05:06

school principal. You explain to me why you spent the whole game

01:05:09

skating on the ice with a shopping bag,

01:05:12

this is it, and I bought meat on the way to the game.

01:05:15

Well, there’s minced meat, hunter’s brains and liver

01:05:20

bones for the broth And in the locker room

01:05:23

of the refrigerator, not here, but here the ice is cold Well,

01:05:26

I took it with me so that it wouldn’t be

01:05:29

lost when the fight started, your

01:05:33

bag was torn, all this plaque fell out,

01:05:36

the judge arrived thinking about the girls

01:05:39

fighting

01:05:43

For And what kind of number do you have, but

01:05:47

Turn around, what kind of number

01:05:50

in general, you need to somehow arrange your personal

01:05:53

life

01:05:54

and PWM for your

01:05:57

father’s children, stop thinking about men, you need to think about

01:06:00

hockey, think about hockey, you know, today is the

01:06:02

final match, the last period is left,

01:06:04

you have to win it, so I

01:06:06

drew it, I drew a diagram of the game,

01:06:10

look, defense here, midfield here you

01:06:13

forward in the center realized that you drew

01:06:17

a man God, how to play with you, how to

01:06:21

train you, I don’t understand at all

01:06:27

Zyuzina, you’re such a

01:06:31

beauty, so I

01:06:36

know how thin your fingers are.

01:06:51

today you win, I'll

01:06:59

marry you, we'll

01:07:02

tear them apart girls raid

01:07:07

[applause] [music]

01:07:09

raid won by Cleopatra of men,

01:07:14

find the right words for your

01:07:16

women and then they will be ready to do anything for you

01:07:25

I was joking I was in pole position What a

01:07:28

[ __ ] she

01:07:29

was It

01:07:33

hurts, clap, clap, everything’s

01:07:37

fine, it’s so hard when the wife is

01:07:40

hysterical Well, she’s so

01:07:44

hysterical all the time, these screams, these

01:07:47

scandals at sea have arrived. She says,

01:07:50

Go early and take a seat. Well, I was walking halfway.

01:07:54

Lech also spread his arms and legs so that he could take up

01:07:57

more space for everyone, driving away,

01:08:00

in general, here she came to rest. Let's be

01:08:04

hysterical, at least you got to the beach

01:08:07

that you're lying in the

01:08:11

elevator Well,

01:08:14

PM, on the train we went to the sea. I went to the

01:08:18

restaurant

01:08:20

to have a snack. I'm

01:08:22

coming back on the fourth

01:08:25

day. I see some gloomy people sitting in our CF, their

01:08:29

faces are so arrogant, they're all so, I'm hitting

01:08:34

them in the face with this. he pushed insolently and

01:08:38

from Kup, I

01:08:53

remember how I climbed into the river, this is my son from

01:08:58

kindergarten, he brought her son from kindergarten Oh, she screamed Oh, she says,

01:09:02

when did you put on, look at what you put on, she

01:09:05

says, the sandals are not ours and

01:09:08

the overalls are not ours either And in general, we have

01:09:12

a boy, this is a

01:09:15

girl, she is 52 years old

01:09:20

teacher I came to the kindergarten I say

01:09:22

Who wants to come with me she

01:09:25

went

01:09:27

hysterical on March 8th I thought I need to somehow

01:09:31

pacify her somehow so that she does

01:09:34

n’t scream I think I’ll give her something I

01:09:36

tell her what to give you kitty She

01:09:40

says well the gift is inconvenient ask for a

01:09:43

direct hint Well, I want something like this on my neck,

01:09:48

it’s so expensive and beautiful And so that it sparkles,

01:09:51

well, I don’t understand, I gave her a dog

01:09:56

collar with light

01:09:59

bulbs dear 1 sparkles as much as an eye can be

01:10:03

torn out, it’s possible that hysteria I don’t

01:10:07

understand, I recently found out that on the Internet

01:10:10

you get big money for a scandalous video money

01:10:13

Well, I’m thinking about how to remove this

01:10:17

scandalous thing. Well, I came up with the idea of cheating on my wife with my

01:10:22

mother-in-law, my

01:10:29

wife says, “You’re a fool, how could you even come up with such a thing, and your mother-in-law says, Why are you for

01:10:33

your husband,

01:10:35

Rish? Now we

01:10:38

need money, we need a new washing machine to buy repairs,

01:10:42

we need a lot of money,

01:10:45

but video it didn’t work out because

01:10:49

the mobile phone was a push-button one without

01:10:52

cameras,

01:10:54

in short, I decided to divorce this hysterical woman and

01:10:57

marry her normally. Briefly

01:11:00

about myself

01:11:02

video blogger, owner of expensive

01:11:04

beautiful

01:11:06

jewelry,

01:11:11

I’m waiting Tell me, it’s so great that I found your

01:11:14

airline, here’s a new

01:11:18

airline everywhere, it’s so expensive for you, so it’s

01:11:22

Moscow just

01:11:24

in m catch And tell me at the World Cup we just

01:11:27

cut all unnecessary expenses And if

01:11:28

you need something you pay

01:11:30

extra suf I please two

01:11:32

seats next to the window in this fare the

01:11:35

computer determines your seats but I am

01:11:37

flying with my wife in this fare the computer

01:11:40

determines who your wife is your wife

01:11:42

Grishuk Tamara Petrovna

01:11:44

1937

01:11:46

[music]

01:11:52

birth of

01:11:55

what ice my name is Victor won in the passport in

01:11:58

this tariff the computer determines

01:12:00

your name Ravich lohoped

01:12:04

ass in your hand luggage there are liquids more

01:12:07

than 100 ml Yes there is,

01:12:10

throw it away Yes I will throw it away you will finish

01:12:35

everything What do you have your mother-in-law is still there

01:12:41

Put it away, throw it away Yeah, that's it,

01:13:01

I'm off. Wait, hand luggage

01:13:04

must fit in the calibrator, I have a

01:13:07

specially small one that fits in any calibrator,

01:13:09

you see for yourself, I'm an experienced

01:13:12

passenger, I took the small one so that

01:13:14

it fits everywhere, here's our company

01:13:22

calibrator, I've been flying for 5 years with a victory,

01:13:28

I'm still I'll put everything on myself. Here

01:13:32

we'll put everything on, so this Whose wife is it?

01:13:36

[music]

01:13:37

daughters, everything on myself, I don't

01:13:43

think I'll

01:13:45

pay So what's this?

01:13:52

Turn away

01:13:58

[applause] That's it,

01:14:07

I'm a resourceful guy, why is the guy in

01:14:11

this tariff determined by the computer? What

01:14:13

gender are you? Are you a woman? Are you saying that you look like a

01:14:18

woman or something? I don’t

01:14:20

understand,

01:14:22

damn this tariff comes up with all sorts of

01:14:25

nonsense, this whole moronic tariff Yes, there’s

01:14:28

nothing you can’t do without carrying your hand

01:14:29

luggage Yes, you can’t choose a seat, there’s a gender,

01:14:32

everything is possible, but for an additional fee Well,

01:14:35

buckle up at least it's free to

01:14:36

fasten your seat belt for free to unfasten it for a

01:14:41

fee By the way, how tall are you? Met 86

01:14:44

What difference does it make? Everyone who is taller than a meter must

01:14:47

pay extra for gutters

01:14:51

and all because of the lack of a smile and a good

01:14:55

mood we have a fine

01:14:58

hee Tell me, is there at least something in your tariff?

01:15:01

free at least that of course

01:15:03

free beer from here you got this

01:15:07

I'll get drunk with all the money 20 or so drinks 100%

01:15:10

for free and the toilet is paid 10,000

01:15:14

rubles so I guess your food is also

01:15:17

paid yes no free Everything is as always

01:15:20

chicken fish coffee tea juices salad

01:15:23

Coca but the aircraft in one trough is everything that you didn’t

01:15:27

finish in other tariffs, so the plane as

01:15:30

we enter through the Airport or along the ramp is

01:15:33

expensive - in your tariff you

01:15:35

climb the plane on a

01:15:37

rope And before that, push the plane

01:15:40

to the

01:15:44

Zhloby runway and Listen, I just

01:15:48

have to interesting Just wondering you

01:15:50

have business class in this Of course there is and

01:15:53

how it differs from economy

01:15:55

business class He

01:15:59

sits in the sense that he sits economy, which costs

01:16:01

like in a minibus or something I don’t understand you didn’t

01:16:03

listen to the end of business class he sits inside

01:16:07

the plane but outside on the wing or something Well,

01:16:11

why right away on the wing on the fuselage on the

01:16:14

tail on the engine Depending on what

01:16:16

the wind catches on there, there is 800 km Frost there, you're

01:16:20

crazy or something Don't worry, we've got

01:16:23

everything thought out, we'll give you a

01:16:25

free blanket Okay, I'll dress warmer

01:16:29

there, I'll fly to your dick already tariff for transporting

01:16:32

clothes is

01:16:33

paid outerwear in general clothes

01:16:39

I’ll pay you something

01:16:46

figs you’re not laughing too you’ll

01:16:52

fly turn away

01:16:56

That’s it I’m on boarding In general

01:17:07

clothes in I’ll pay you

01:17:11

hold hold hold

01:17:14

hold here come out

01:17:22

please

01:17:28

everything somehow there in Sochi I’ll fly there what you don’t

01:17:31

heat well properly Why in Sochi in

01:17:34

this tariff the computer determines where you

01:17:36

are flying you are flying to Ulan

01:17:39

ud but I need to go to Sochi I

01:17:43

tell you in Russian I need to go to Sochi in this

01:17:45

tariff the computer determines what language

01:17:47

you speak You speak German what

01:17:51

about Brandy what Is this a fine of 30

01:18:13

ru? The most offensive thing is that the pilot of the company

01:18:18

[music]

01:18:21

LK

01:18:23

and you don’t laugh soon everything So we’ll fly

01:18:29

[applause] the

01:18:35

husband is calling Now you are my wife I

01:18:38

have become TM’s

01:18:40

husband Vitya I went on vacation for the first time in 10 years

01:18:44

I asked you to call only in

01:18:46

emergency cases emergency What

01:18:49

happened you can’t find the socks

01:18:55

you call me at sea 5,000 km away to

01:18:57

ask where your socks are in the

01:19:03

closet you are my wife yal your husband where is

01:19:07

the closet Go into the bedroom you see in front of

01:19:10

you there is an angry bow-legged man in

01:19:12

shorts this mirrored closet, move

01:19:16

the man there, put on your socks, they are

01:19:19

long to the waist, these are my tights, to

01:19:24

hell with you, wear tights and don’t call

01:19:27

me, I’m resting, my husband is calling You want to eat My

01:19:34

voice is so thin and the tights are too tight

01:19:38

Make an omelette Break eggs and milk into a bowl

01:19:40

and use a blender to

01:19:43

beat the blender hard into the socket. Turn on

01:19:45

the idiot, you've already knocked it down. Okay, pour out the

01:19:49

omelette frying pan. Well, this is a piece of iron with a handle. Well, World Cup.

01:19:53

I hit you when you come drunk.

01:19:57

Well, it's round, like your

01:19:59

eyes, when you're in the forest on Izha, you sit down, you find a

01:20:02

frying pan, and you howl into it. the omelet is leaking all over the

01:20:05

bottom in the holes idiot it's

01:20:10

a colander make the porridge just wash and cook

01:20:15

Why did you put a trash can on the GAZ

01:20:17

I said just wash and cook and not

01:20:20

just wash and cook

01:20:23

open the refrigerator the big white cabinet in the

01:20:26

kitchen where you store the maggots don't eat the maggots

01:20:29

Don't eat them already eaten, spit out the

01:20:32

cutlets there, ready to put it in and heat the

01:20:34

microwave, found a box with a glass

01:20:36

door, put it in. Press the button

01:20:39

that says the washing

01:20:44

has started, what happened there? What are you

01:20:47

shouting at the hot stove? Dropped a washcloth,

01:20:49

it stuck, I don’t know how to find it on

01:20:53

the Internet, look at how the children are doing Well, children

01:20:58

Well, the little ones in our apartment

01:20:59

live like people.

01:21:01

Find the youngest, youngest - This is the

01:21:05

shortest one, found it. Put

01:21:08

a diaper on him, bit him with his tail, [ __ ], this is a

01:21:11

younger dog without a collar,

01:21:16

found him, give him dessert. Well, it’s so

01:21:19

white delicious. What kind of vodka, yogurt,

01:21:23

bathed the children; one doesn’t wash off all of them Izva, this is

01:21:27

his grandfather, he has

01:21:29

tattoos, you’ve already

01:21:32

washed off half of them Vitya, let’s do that, I’m resting and

01:21:36

call me only if the end of the world begins

01:21:39

[laughter]

01:21:43

that you’re crying, you can’t solve the

01:21:46

problem about a hedgehog for the first

01:21:48

grade, stop the thread, adults, a

01:21:52

two-meter man and different unis because

01:21:55

some lice hedgehog Get ready, read the

01:21:58

problem the hedgehog brought two apples and the Dolphin

01:22:03

- three apples you shouldn’t worry about

01:22:06

how they

01:22:10

met, maybe the hedgehog drowned or a

01:22:13

mentally ill Dolphin crawled into the forest

01:22:15

you read the question How many apples are left for the

01:22:18

animals if four apples were carried away by a snake

01:22:23

what how a snake without arms took away the apples You

01:22:26

somehow took away the battery from work in your

01:22:30

shorts Vitya, you never shone with intelligence,

01:22:33

remember when the doctor said that I

01:22:35

would have twins, you said one from me and

01:22:37

the other from

01:22:38

whom The world around you Read at farmer

01:22:43

Vasily’s yard there is a tractor and a cow horse

01:22:47

Draw

01:22:51

Vasily's farm Should I draw the rest of the parts

01:22:56

[applause]

01:22:58

Vasily quickly erased everything, the dunce, you and

01:23:02

Nina learned the matryoshka dance Well, she's having a matryoshka dance, do

01:23:06

n't you know, I can't

01:23:09

show you the beach here, it's all packed, there's

01:23:11

even nowhere to stand I can't

01:23:14

dance lying down Ninochka is

01:23:17

crying ok, turn on

01:23:21

the camera, turn on the camera Click on

01:23:24

record We are funny nesting dolls Ladushka okay

01:23:29

how our legs dance

01:23:34

Ladushka okay I dance and laugh that's how fast

01:23:38

I'm spinning

01:23:45

Hey forgot to press record

01:23:49

as my mother said if a

01:23:52

person is a [ __ ] then it's your Vitya Let's do it

01:23:55

again We are funny dolls Ladushki ok

01:24:01

how our legs dance Ladushki ok I

01:24:06

dance and laugh that’s how fast I’m spinning

01:24:10

xy

01:24:12

wrote down Glory to you Lord I’m all

01:24:15

resting My wife

01:24:18

wanted to erase the video about washcloths er

01:24:21

dance

01:24:26

[applause]

01:24:30

hanging Do you remember you told me that in the army

01:24:35

I jumped with a parachute as I understand it, the parachute was not always

01:24:45

opened

01:24:46

Daughter, daughter, don’t cry, your mother won’t leave you

01:25:02

Come on We are funny nesting dolls Ladushka

01:25:08

ladushka dancing our legs Ladushka

01:25:13

ladushka I’m dancing I’m not laughing I’m falling apart I

01:25:21

stepped in

01:25:24

Vitya

01:25:25

Vitya I just now remembered there on the

01:25:29

street your trousers are drying Go outside Take them off

01:25:34

trousers What, my Katya is walking down the street without pants

01:25:40

Give him the phone Vitya is not off your hands,

01:25:44

take it off the rope,

01:25:48

remember when my car broke down

01:25:52

I tried to fix it myself, you said Sit, you

01:25:56

fool, don’t touch anything with your hands, and now

01:25:59

I’ll come Go home, sit, you fool, do

01:26:03

n’t touch anything with your hands touch I'll

01:26:09

come now I've rested

01:26:12

[music]

01:26:17

damn kunka we need to record

01:26:20

a video congratulations to

01:26:22

my mother again I don't want to congratulate her Well

01:26:26

then I'll have to go to her Personally, I'm ready

01:26:29

where you say the camera is there, well wait

01:26:32

says We need

01:26:33

to dress up somehow first, after all, New Year is here

01:26:38

[ laughter]

01:26:40

here I am in this snowflake like a fool, you see, it’s

01:26:45

not about snowflakes, you’re without a snowflake So

01:26:49

I wrote it in the text here so that I

01:26:51

wrote the text so that it would be faster for us

01:26:53

Look, Come on, speak dear mother

01:26:57

Come on, dear

01:27:00

mother, say with a smile,

01:27:04

dear

01:27:09

mother Okay, I

01:27:11

I’ll tell you myself, dear

01:27:14

mother. We congratulate you on the New Year,

01:27:18

mommy, when you come to

01:27:21

visit us, a holiday comes and this holiday is

01:27:26

Halloween. What are you talking about? I already

01:27:30

forgot to turn on the music, I

01:27:34

picked the music, dear mommy, we wish you

01:27:38

happiness, health,

01:27:41

well-being. Come on now, tell

01:27:44

Mommy When you appeared in my life I

01:27:47

recognized a lot of

01:27:51

new small cattle I

01:27:53

belong to

01:27:54

From what hard-to-reach and less

01:27:57

poetic place do my hands grow Well,

01:28:01

what are you talking about Well, what are you

01:28:04

saying? I don’t like the music. I

01:28:06

think a person should be congratulated with the

01:28:08

music that suits his character,

01:28:11

your mother should be congratulated with this kind of

01:28:19

music no Vitya with this music I will

01:28:22

congratulate my mother-in-law on March 8

01:28:24

[music]

01:28:26

then let's do it without music at all

01:28:29

Okay let's do it without music snowflakes it's

01:28:31

moronic okay we're all up

01:28:35

we're writing dear mom we wish you

01:28:39

happiness and health we congratulate you Happy

01:28:42

New Year, we are always glad

01:28:48

to see you We love you very much,

01:28:55

you are the

01:28:58

smartest, the most

01:29:02

beautiful, and if you want to return

01:29:07

home, we will escort you to

01:29:15

the station with honors, because what are you doing, I am dancing

01:29:19

with joy, congratulations to your mother, stand up,

01:29:21

no kinship, stand up, everyone Congratulations

01:29:27

Smile, dear mom, we wish you

01:29:31

to live to be 100

01:29:36

years old,

01:29:37

get up, come on,

01:29:40

talk, come on, I can’t stand being with her until I’m 100 years old,

01:29:44

Vitya. Well, what’s the matter, I don’t understand

01:29:47

what my mother did to you? Well, think about it, is it

01:29:49

bad when mom is next to

01:29:52

you? No, I don’t mind When mom she eats next to us

01:29:54

at the same table when she sits with

01:29:57

us on the same sofa, but when she sleeps with

01:30:00

us in the same bed it’s

01:30:03

[music]

01:30:04

too much. Believe me, your mom loves you very much.

01:30:07

Yeah, I love her, I stroked her cat. She says

01:30:11

Ew, he’s dirty, he’s wandering around in the trash.

01:30:14

wash yourself After

01:30:15

him Well, what's wrong with that? She

01:30:20

said to the cat, you're good too, why did you spit at your mother?

01:30:25

spat because she had a

01:30:29

stye on her eye And you spat on your back and

01:30:34

missed Yes 17

01:30:38

[music]

01:30:39

times view I think mom should be loved and

01:30:43

appreciated because mom helps us Mom

01:30:45

cooks and cooks you ate what she cooks

01:30:48

disgusting it’s impossible to eat cooked

01:30:50

some liter jar of goda horror nightmare

01:30:53

ate it all You’re a fool This is a rubbing

01:30:56

for the

01:30:57

knees so that the knees don’t hurt there

01:31:00

turpentine laundry soap and

01:31:04

beaver droppings Yes you are I have to pray for my mother, my mother

01:31:07

helps me, my mother washes your jeans,

01:31:16

he washes you himself, he sends everything to everyone,

01:31:19

in my back pocket, in my back pocket,

01:31:22

you understand, there’s a hole worn inside,

01:31:24

he’s like Natal

01:31:28

there and sent it out to everyone, the main thing is to everyone, here’s the

01:31:32

bottom selfies from me in the HR department

01:31:34

they were waiting for a photo for a personal

01:31:37

matter He sent them, they

01:31:41

pasted it in. Well, it turned out well, they immediately

01:31:45

promoted them, looked at the photo, they said,

01:31:48

judging by the photo, the ideal boss

01:31:50

will turn out to be

01:31:54

you’re lucky and you don’t understand. It’s

01:31:57

your mother who doesn’t understand. On that New Year’s

01:32:00

Day, she started talking to Putin on TV.

01:32:03

I’m still full I don’t want to

01:32:06

sit at home in

01:32:08

retirement Well, he

01:32:20

heard it, your mother is also weird, she learned a

01:32:24

song with her granddaughter for the New Year in her grandfather’s kindergarten, the

01:32:26

girl is 4 years old. She went out to Santa Claus

01:32:28

in time. I’m smoking alone again, I’m smoking again, mom

01:32:31

again, everything is in the kindergarten.

01:32:34

It sucks, what do you see, we never greet you,

01:32:37

stop, smile, let's go, dear

01:32:41

mommy, and when on New Year's you will receive

01:32:44

our little gift, what a gift,

01:32:47

wait, two karatis in total, a ring with

01:32:50

brinco, wait, wait for mom, a little

01:32:52

gift, two ratiks and diamonds, and for

01:32:55

me, for the New Year, for me, for the New Year year

01:32:57

handkerchief Well, look what

01:33:01

quality it is, 80%

01:33:05

cotton and by the way you know Mom

01:33:08

gives you gifts too Mom gave you a T-shirt

01:33:10

why don’t you wear it and a

01:33:12

T-shirt with a deer with those

01:33:15

antlers What kind of a hint is this Yes this is

01:33:18

not a hint this is a New Year’s symbol You’re the one who

01:33:20

doesn’t understand the hints your mother asked you

01:33:22

for her anniversary Give me an object with

01:33:25

which I could ring a bell and you gave me

01:33:29

a bell And by the way, Mom She

01:33:32

really loves you So she already

01:33:35

signed a card for you in advance Happy New Year

01:33:37

Look what happiness says on it

01:33:39

health, here’s my dear son-in-law to you and only to

01:33:42

you, I bequeath my

01:33:47

dacha, this is Rublyovka, there is one land worth

01:33:50

30 million

01:33:55

[applause]

01:33:57

[music]

01:33:58

[laughter]

01:34:02

[applause]

01:34:08

Mom, mamulechka, sunshine, goddess

01:34:11

Cleopatra, happiness to you, health, long

01:34:14

life, I kiss your feet forty-

01:34:16

three size and no no here is

01:34:22

my daughter here and to you and only to you I

01:34:25

bequeath my daughter that is

01:34:31

me, well, a

01:34:35

witch Listen, my knees don’t

01:34:38

hurt, the

01:34:41

rubbing works, I’ll go and give it to me

01:35:06

and

Description:

Лучший дуэт - Наталья Коростелёва и Юрий Хвостов 😁 СБОРНИК ЮМОРА и СМЕХА 🤣 НАШ СТАРЫЙ ДОБРЫЙ ЮМОР 🤣 Юмористический концерт 🟡 Наталья Коростелёва 🌸 ЛУЧШИЕ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЯ #1 https://youtu.be/DqNatjSEkpg 🟡 Наталья Коростелёва 🌸 ЛУЧШИЕ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЯ #2 https://youtu.be/9dR9SLC4JpI ******************** ✔ Плейлист: ВКЛЮЧАЕМ Радость 🤣 СБОРНИК СМЕХА и ЮМОРА https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1_DCWNWA6tE3Hnc_pt5FhrbGxf6L0ZNF ✔ Плейлист: ЗОЛОТЫЕ НОМЕРА Юмора 🤣 СБОРНИК СМЕХА и ЮМОРА https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1_DCWNWA6tG8FIW5I_nCSD2fhz1O8nuj ✔ Плейлист: 100ЯНОВ | Шоу Юрия Стоянова https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1_DCWNWA6tHc9aZ2x2ApM_DVRk1N627R ✔ Плейлист: ЮМОР 🤣 ЛУЧШИЕ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЯ от МАСТЕРОВ ЮМОРА 🤣 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1_DCWNWA6tG5QsvxG8DJj7AbWiRSmVpJ ✔ Плейлист: 🤣 НАШ СТАРЫЙ ДОБРЫЙ ЮМОР 🤣 Короткие ролики юмора https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1_DCWNWA6tG8FIW5I_nCSD2fhz1O8nuj ✔ ЮМОРИНА 2023 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1_DCWNWA6tG-pVW7-ds7fn-UOCtNZCaD ********* 🔸 Подпишись ВКЛЮЧАЕМ 2.0 канал! https://www.youtube.com/@VKLYUCHAEMSHOU2.0 ►Одноклассники https://ok.ru/group/68901582471217 ► ВКОНТАКТЕ https://vk.com/vklyuchaem_yumor ► ВКОНТАКТЕ "СЛАВЯНСКИЙ БАЗАР в Витебске" https://vk.com/s_b_in_vitebsk #ЮрийХвостов #НатальяКоростелёва #ВКЛЮЧАЕМ #ЮМОР #СМЕХ #ШУТКИ #ПРИКОЛЫ #МЕМЫ #ВЕСЕЛО #СМЕШНОЕВИДЕО #СМЕХДОСЛЕЗ #КОНЦЕРТ #ЮМОРИСТИЧЕСКИЙКОНЦЕРТ #тренды #тикток #shorts #shortsvideo #shortsyoutube

Preparing download options

Popular

HD video

Only sound

All

* — If the video is playing in a new tab, go to it, then right-click on the video and select "Save video as..."

** — Link intended for online playback in specialized players

Questions about downloading video

How can I download "Юрий Хвостов и Наталья Коростелёва 🤣 СБОРНИК ЛУЧШИХ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЙ | ДУЭТ | ЮМОР | СМЕХ | Включаем 2024" video?

http://unidownloader.com/ website is the best way to download a video or a separate audio track if you want to do without installing programs and extensions.
The UDL Helper extension is a convenient button that is seamlessly integrated into YouTube, Instagram and OK.ru sites for fast content download.
UDL Client program (for Windows) is the most powerful solution that supports more than 900 websites, social networks and video hosting sites, as well as any video quality that is available in the source.
UDL Lite is a really convenient way to access a website from your mobile device. With its help, you can easily download videos directly to your smartphone.

Which format of "Юрий Хвостов и Наталья Коростелёва 🤣 СБОРНИК ЛУЧШИХ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЙ | ДУЭТ | ЮМОР | СМЕХ | Включаем 2024" video should I choose?

The best quality formats are FullHD (1080p), 2K (1440p), 4K (2160p) and 8K (4320p). The higher the resolution of your screen, the higher the video quality should be. However, there are other factors to consider: download speed, amount of free space, and device performance during playback.

Why does my computer freeze when loading a "Юрий Хвостов и Наталья Коростелёва 🤣 СБОРНИК ЛУЧШИХ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЙ | ДУЭТ | ЮМОР | СМЕХ | Включаем 2024" video?

The browser/computer should not freeze completely! If this happens, please report it with a link to the video. Sometimes videos cannot be downloaded directly in a suitable format, so we have added the ability to convert the file to the desired format. In some cases, this process may actively use computer resources.

How can I download "Юрий Хвостов и Наталья Коростелёва 🤣 СБОРНИК ЛУЧШИХ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЙ | ДУЭТ | ЮМОР | СМЕХ | Включаем 2024" video to my phone?

You can download a video to your smartphone using the website or the PWA application UDL Lite. It is also possible to send a download link via QR code using the UDL Helper extension.

How can I download an audio track (music) to MP3 "Юрий Хвостов и Наталья Коростелёва 🤣 СБОРНИК ЛУЧШИХ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЙ | ДУЭТ | ЮМОР | СМЕХ | Включаем 2024"?

The most convenient way is to use the UDL Client program, which supports converting video to MP3 format. In some cases, MP3 can also be downloaded through the UDL Helper extension.

How can I save a frame from a video "Юрий Хвостов и Наталья Коростелёва 🤣 СБОРНИК ЛУЧШИХ ВЫСТУПЛЕНИЙ | ДУЭТ | ЮМОР | СМЕХ | Включаем 2024"?

This feature is available in the UDL Helper extension. Make sure that "Show the video snapshot button" is checked in the settings. A camera icon should appear in the lower right corner of the player to the left of the "Settings" icon. When you click on it, the current frame from the video will be saved to your computer in JPEG format.

What's the price of all this stuff?

It costs nothing. Our services are absolutely free for all users. There are no PRO subscriptions, no restrictions on the number or maximum length of downloaded videos.