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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:02
pranks on April 1 they played a great prank on me00:00:05
they talk about you in the back of your trousers the tail is sticking00:00:09
out00:00:10
I'm looking I doubted at first which tail and00:00:15
then I believed it after all it was spinning00:00:18
spinning there was 2 laughter come up with it, well,00:00:21
thank God it's over April Fool's Day who is ringing the00:00:24
doorbell I'm lying through the peephole three points worth00:00:28
in tarpaulin boots with chains and wrenches00:00:32
asking why they gave you a money order,00:00:40
I still had doubts at first, wondering why00:00:44
suddenly at night I got there with money, it was00:00:48
often even worse,00:00:53
in general, I opened the door when consciousness00:00:56
returned on00:00:57
April 30, I realized that they were playing a prank again to00:01:02
take away nothing from00:01:05
some clothes that we didn’t have, but I think00:01:08
thank God April is over, reading00:01:11
acceptance, of course, after that my00:01:14
nerves began to twitch in my sleep, well, I00:01:17
really don’t believe anyone anymore, I found an00:01:20
advertisement for the healers of the gru diploma, show him,00:01:23
he pulled out three diplomas at once, one of them00:01:27
says that his saliva causes everyone's00:01:29
appetite,00:01:33
in another his dandruff kills the fungus00:01:36
of his mushrooms and everything else happens00:01:40
the third that he has matcha with vitamins a00:01:42
b and c00:01:44
I still doubted it at first and he has already00:01:48
mixed all his healing in one jar grid 300:01:51
times a day for how many days acne boredom00:01:54
hold out00:01:58
I held out for two days during the agony00:02:01
two people come why do you need to die alone00:02:04
in a two-room apartment let's exchange00:02:08
clothes just enough for you for groups00:02:12
I say you're all swindlers I can00:02:15
see right through you now and I won't sign anything without00:02:18
a notary there's another person walking around here oh, excuse me,00:02:21
the apartment was open, I00:02:23
mixed up your 8, I need 4 44,00:02:30
but in general, I’m a notary, if sho I can certify00:02:34
any document and certified it, I went to the00:02:37
new address, Red Square, apartments 1,00:02:41
what else can I tell you yesterday, my friend,00:02:44
doctor of sciences, professor, is also a homeless person00:02:49
[applause] we’re on fire,00:02:51
we’re running I wanted to play the raid,00:02:54
of course, I stayed at the place where I was preparing the00:02:56
liquid with the Vietnamese, they either desperately00:02:58
bought it for us, or00:03:01
something even cooler, he does them in his office for00:03:03
24 hours, I’m red-haired myself, two meters tall,00:03:06
blue eyes of each of the saucers of me light00:03:10
prices for us even in a hurry you can’t confuse the truth, the00:03:12
sergeant of the court looked at me in00:03:15
that grief, he finished the game, cross-eyed, and00:03:20
somehow I doubted whether the Russians were Russians,00:03:23
whether I was even alive in Russia, or whether00:03:25
I was dreaming about all this, but today, April 1st,00:03:28
we’ll see what will happen tomorrow00:03:38
good evening league friends00:03:40
link so small he is she she is a00:03:43
man a man is00:03:45
deaf or something men do you have on the00:03:48
sign here it says we have opened an agency00:03:52
gallantry is what you do he00:03:56
different services for women present flowers00:03:58
give up a seat on the bus send an00:04:02
air kiss was ordered by the00:04:05
Lord we have gallantry instead of rudeness you00:04:10
will what something to order from us a lot of00:04:13
good things, for example, to carry a woman00:04:16
a few meters in your arms,00:04:18
pay like in a taxi, boarding on your hands00:04:20
separately, dachas for each meter00:04:24
on your hands, I already forgot how it happens,00:04:28
let's try right now, we have00:04:31
porters at 11 o'clock,00:04:35
I'll pay, I'll answer you, I'll explain00:04:39
porters us 17 o'clock I don't wear it myself I00:04:42
place orders double payment00:04:46
ok money in advance no first in hand00:04:51
but tell me the hour I don't understand how it's more convenient yes at least00:04:56
somehow00:04:59
now she's putting her hands on Natalya she's00:05:03
oh the00:05:06
second she's00:05:07
lost the habit I'm00:05:09
dizzy dizzy00:05:14
man what you're doing it to me alone here,00:05:18
stop it man, what are you saying, I'm going00:05:21
to continue,00:05:24
well, where are you, where are the rapists,00:05:29
the porter, where am I saying, the porters, and what about the00:05:33
triple payment00:05:35
now, now now, it's tearing her off the ground,00:05:38
she's staggering, help someone,00:05:42
help the man,00:05:45
he drops it, and00:05:47
she gets up, shakes herself off00:05:51
but there is something to remember, tell00:05:56
me about the housework, there are services00:05:58
to bring a bag from the store, knock out a carpet,00:06:01
pick up a child from kindergarten, no,00:06:04
we only have gallantry,00:06:06
well, nothing, nothing, somehow the main00:06:10
gallantry appeared, tell me, can you00:06:12
order00:06:13
a serenade from us, you can order everything, even00:06:20
duels because of me before and you can challenge your00:06:24
husband to a duel00:06:27
we can am already can hurt you can not be too00:06:32
much how order00:06:34
not too much just a little bit so that you understand who he is00:06:38
married to what lucky ticket he got so that he00:06:41
forgets about the beer his show belly is00:06:43
haggard we can we can the brainchild00:06:47
of everything00:07:17
cotton wool then we try to order our own women write flowers when they deserve theirs twice in their arms carry 3 meters a serenade four times and a duel he is only 5000 euros what euros we have everything in his heart it can’t be that we have gallantry oh you sons of [ __ ]00:07:21
he runs away after him00:07:25
[applause]00:07:30
in the evening at home I come up and look at the picket fence, he00:07:34
leaves, no, the bird has either a man, a bird,00:07:37
probably wings, a tail, but in a tie and a00:07:41
human face, Peres was00:07:43
lying on the face, an impudent tie on its00:07:46
side and a strong one, dragging wine, I00:07:49
stopped, I was dumbfounded, of course, the birds00:07:52
said where are you wears Nikolay, my name is00:07:55
Nikolay, to the voice of a bird, a drunken00:07:59
male bird, a male, getting00:08:03
a cigarette, getting the covers, lit a cigarette, I was00:08:06
completely dumbfounded, I ask you who is00:08:09
anyone, your angel without a coat,00:08:14
guardian angel,00:08:15
yes, I have tears in my eyes, then somehow I00:08:19
pulled myself together, I’m burning, where were you before?00:08:22
there was a bastard00:08:24
when, for example, for example, when I got married,00:08:28
she turned out to be the minister’s daughter, was she rushing about?00:08:32
I was flying for a while, then almost00:08:35
a clamp and a general could never rely on the00:08:38
minister to rely on himself to act,00:08:41
wait, as he flew off, then it’s your duty to keep your00:08:44
specialty protected from00:08:46
troubles Do you remember that, too, not00:08:48
really the beginning of the 90s, everything00:08:51
turned upside down in the country, no one in my00:08:53
specialty worked for him, and in00:08:56
ninety-eight why didn’t I warn him00:08:58
about the default, I lost everything in one day, they00:09:00
help, we didn’t00:09:02
warn anyone, it was forbidden,00:09:05
magicians were stabil a pervert when I00:09:08
took the remaining money to Kama, it seems, he also00:09:11
flew away, maybe I was at that time attaching mine00:09:15
to the Tibet base bank when I wanted to get hold of someone00:09:19
unknown at whose expense I had to count on you00:09:21
at the Cape, but someone else’s uncle’s soul is00:09:24
now talking about the past, you see, I00:09:26
got it too, I turned away so00:09:29
as not to look at him and see the lights00:09:31
flashing from the casino next to the house, wait for the mountains for00:09:34
a minute, I just went up to the apartment, took00:09:37
all the money I had saved in recent years,00:09:39
went down, let’s go to the casino, can you help me,00:09:42
maybe I’ll forgive you, it’s not at all on his right00:09:45
shoulder, no one sees him except me,00:09:47
they came to casino I got it stronger, they don’t00:09:49
ask what number to bet on, he00:09:52
bet on 12,00:09:54
I bet it came out 21, I lost everything in a00:09:58
second, everyone to the last penny went out00:10:01
into the streets, he flew off right away, they said the00:10:03
exact numbers are 1 and 2,00:10:07
only and in my soul I put them wrong in some places, I do00:10:09
n’t remember what kind of stone was in my hands to00:10:12
swing, no, there’s no00:10:15
need for men, that’s why we live like this, that00:10:18
all the time, someone is to blame only for him00:10:20
and the mice rely on someone, but not on00:10:22
themselves, I aimed at his side and fired the stone00:10:25
with all my might, but he dodged somewhere00:10:29
lexus turned out the00:10:31
owners of the court right into the windshield of00:10:33
women about 4 muzzles jumps out and I00:10:37
run after me an angel flies above me00:10:40
screams at no one never hope to00:10:42
understand the game I only understand to myself hope I00:10:45
understand, I understand00:10:46
I see something like on the left grove, I’m there,00:10:48
an angel, run to the right, he’s coming, well, he00:10:52
knows better from above and rather, to the parade there’s a00:10:54
dead end in00:10:56
March, both of them, and here they are, three steps away, in two, I00:11:00
still had time to think, life teaches us to teach us,00:11:02
and it’s all to no avail, we all hope for someone, they00:11:11
came up with an attraction called room00:11:14
of horrors for 100 rubles for nothing you almost just00:11:19
say goodbye to life00:11:21
everything passes in front of you in a minute but not00:11:25
all the brightest moments I think you should00:11:27
go, such a pleasure for free00:11:30
to be scared to death00:11:33
came well in the summer in the winter you’ll definitely catch00:11:36
a cold people come out from all countries and00:11:39
wet well00:11:41
why it’s my turn to sit down in a chair00:11:44
like a basin and rushed through some00:11:48
thickets, no big deal, suddenly from somewhere a00:11:51
reptile all covered in scabs and warts, teeth,00:11:54
crooked jaws, I was in the middle of it,00:11:57
bam, and the main moments of life went before my eyes.00:12:02
I’m little, at the festive table, my mother00:12:06
turned away, I grabbed the pie and put it in my mouth. but00:12:08
the child then I could even he lives00:12:11
from hand to mouth the wife just turned away and 100:12:13
piece of bread in her mouth00:12:15
then the grown-up daughters00:12:17
bought something sweet only to turn away once the00:12:20
candy was in her mouth again I saw she wanted to00:12:23
hit me on the head with a frying pan from behind but didn’t00:12:25
have time to get the basin to the exit jumped out,00:12:28
everything comes out wet to the waist, honestly, I’m00:12:32
not lying, everything is up to the waist, I’m up to my ears00:12:38
for a hundred rubles pleasure for 100,00000:12:41
walked away to the side of the thought, is it really and most00:12:44
importantly my life and about my neighbors, am00:12:46
I such a bastard, I00:12:49
looked a little like dogs and sat down in the basin again on the track00:12:52
Tom00:12:54
the light went out, you also flew out of00:12:57
the room, I flew over the fields and forests ahead, there was an00:13:00
active volcano and I was in the thick of it, bam00:13:04
and I saw a little snitching in my00:13:07
brother’s sauna,00:13:08
then in the army I knocked older than Nena’s comrades,00:13:12
then at work the boss attacked my00:13:14
colleagues and I saw who was00:13:16
sneaking behind me with a club,00:13:18
swinging and then the basin jumped00:13:22
into the room again, they were walking around, wet in soul, I had00:13:26
pleasure from head to toe, of course there was thunder,00:13:29
but I stepped aside, I think, or am I such a00:13:32
bastard, that the main thing for me is to lay00:13:35
someone down, or is there something wrong with00:13:36
the attraction, I looked like dogs a little and00:13:39
again God mows down the trinity loves should be00:13:43
shown correctly for the third time sat down in the00:13:45
basin, everything seemed to be fine and it was00:13:48
dry in the basin and00:13:50
we set off leisurely, we were going, we were going, they wrote, and00:13:53
suddenly it seemed like the attraction was faulty,00:13:56
right away the music the girls came out in00:13:59
bikinis, they were on fire, sorry, there was something wrong with the equipment, there were00:14:02
probably balls in the basin rolled up behind00:14:05
the bearings here are the pies drinks ate00:14:08
drank the girl says maybe for00:14:11
such a good person we don’t feel00:14:13
sorry for anything euro thank you about this pies she00:14:17
pies with arsenic00:14:19
drinks with places if it’s dark in my eyes00:14:23
I see only I’m small I00:14:25
tie a tin00:14:27
can to the kitten’s tail but the child what will I take then to the school00:14:31
teacher and put the buttons on the table, then for the00:14:34
colleagues for the New Year on a tortilla of00:14:36
kerosene and feel someone behind the Valdai00:14:39
CK swinging, otherwise I’ll order a way out,00:14:43
everyone goes away with goosebumps, but the rat is not00:14:47
green, I00:14:49
stepped aside, I don’t understand, in fact, I’m00:14:51
a bastard or a fake attraction00:14:54
looked like juice in the evening in the bushes00:14:57
hid at night crawled out and into the room of horrors00:14:59
ripped out all the light00:15:01
bulbs gears basins instead of00:15:04
balls poured sand into the bearing I00:15:07
left the room in front of me a watchman with a00:15:10
shovel00:15:13
heard something flowing somewhere00:15:17
turning to run and then the watchman used a00:15:20
shovel all the way to00:15:23
the gas and I realized we all have a good00:15:27
opinion of ourselves, but if you want to find out who you00:15:30
really are, you definitely need to go to the00:15:33
operating room of horrors00:15:37
[applause]00:15:42
the researcher is sitting with a man of about forty,00:15:45
he looks so lost that00:15:47
the investigator involuntarily asks, you00:15:50
know, I came in you were arrested no and00:15:53
the man is on fire and shrugs under00:15:56
what circumstances you were taken remember00:15:59
under no circumstances I came to the district government to00:16:02
give a bribe so that they would be allowed to put a00:16:05
garage near the house I didn’t touch anyone I didn’t make00:16:08
noise I didn’t swear wine checks night00:16:12
you just said that you came to give00:16:14
a bribe I understood you correctly, yes00:16:16
they understood you absolutely correctly, I00:16:19
came in and said hello, Nikolai Petrovich didn’t00:16:21
say sit down, I sat down, he said they brought it00:16:24
and gave him the money, he put the money in, that00:16:28
some people were bursting in and grabbed his00:16:30
hands, for which the00:16:32
investigator looked at the detainee with amazement,00:16:34
excuse me, maybe I00:16:36
I understood something wrong, you gave a bribe, you didn’t00:16:40
touch anyone, you didn’t make any noise, you didn’t swear, you didn’t swear, wait,00:16:43
you swore, you didn’t swear, let’s get it right, you00:16:46
need a garage, and00:16:49
in order to get it, you decided to give a bribe,00:16:51
so, well, that’s00:16:53
all, why did you give a bribe00:16:59
to garage put the00:17:02
investigators throws up his hands the detainee00:17:04
blinks in bewilderment00:17:06
we all gave Ivan Vasilich the twelfth00:17:10
floor and 8 along Volodya 7 entrance00:17:14
the investigator squints his eyes and don’t you00:17:17
think that you are slandering people whom00:17:20
they themselves told me who let’s jump00:17:23
I had no idea, but you know00:17:26
how it even happens less than you need and you00:17:28
will offend the person and you won’t get anything,00:17:31
otherwise it’s even worse not recently they told a case of a00:17:35
man who came into the office there, he was00:17:38
Mosunova, 500 dollars that year,00:17:40
please wait in the corridor00:17:42
after five notes, a burpee of seconds comes out and00:17:45
left, it turned out that he himself visitors00:17:49
the man is so sincere that the investigator00:17:52
develops some semblance of sympathy for him,00:17:54
I’ll tell you what, he00:17:57
looks expressively at the detainee, I’m00:17:59
not your lawyer, but the investigator doesn’t00:18:02
need to be just as frank with me, you understand,00:18:06
the man thinks in agreement, nods, well, it’s00:18:09
good to wear some random people, you00:18:13
tea they taught you they said that you have to00:18:16
give a bribe so Ivan Vasilich to Yosip00:18:20
Volodya00:18:22
it doesn’t matter you yourself would never have given a00:18:26
bribe and you wouldn’t have given it the00:18:30
detainee in strong doubt looks at the00:18:32
eyes of the investigator, how can a car00:18:35
deteriorate in the open air and a garage00:18:38
is needed but without a bribe you can’t they will give the00:18:41
investigator looks at the accused with00:18:44
some grief, you know that giving a00:18:47
bribe is a criminal offense00:18:49
that is prosecuted by law, I know, well,00:18:53
you just committed a00:18:55
criminal offense, what am00:18:58
I from where or where did I explain to you, you don’t need00:19:03
a garage, you can’t put dozens of townspeople00:19:05
on napkins, you can’t by law but00:19:08
you can’t give a bribe, you can’t, well, you ca00:19:12
n’t, well, they give it to everyone,00:19:15
otherwise you won’t get anything, the00:19:18
investigator looks out the window, counts00:19:21
up to 20 to himself, turns to the detainee,00:19:23
maybe they give it to everyone, you don’t all get caught,00:19:27
they say that the devil is confused, that they00:19:30
themselves don’t know how it happened, that they didn’t00:19:32
repents, it’s clear the men00:19:36
listened with bated breath to the investigator, figure00:19:38
something out and finally nod in agreement, you00:19:41
repent, I00:19:42
repent, well, thank God, finally,00:19:45
otherwise I already thought that I had gone crazy, so00:19:48
you don’t know how it happened, I00:19:50
don’t know, I don’t know when to enter Nikolai00:19:53
Petrovich, there’s no one in the corridor there was no00:19:56
where they came from then I don’t know00:19:59
on the left 3 looks at his watch it means this is a00:20:03
decree not to leave the place sign00:20:05
here we met here and you can go home00:20:09
wherever you want passive the man gets up and00:20:12
heads to the door the00:20:14
city stops what can I put00:20:18
if you have permission you can have00:20:21
permission Nikolai Petrovich Before you had time, you00:20:23
dogs00:20:24
can start, but he took the money, there was no need to00:20:29
bring it, but the man00:20:31
returns to the table, the investigator, I00:20:33
explained it to you, he looks at the investigators,00:20:37
he involuntarily has a suspicion that00:20:39
he is impenetrably stupid and doesn’t need a garage,00:20:42
without any inspiration, he explains, he00:20:44
gives permission from the government00:20:47
Ivan Vasilich just won’t give permission, he’ll00:20:50
confirm it and Volodya’s point, get out of here00:20:54
for God’s sake, should he get up from the table,00:20:57
the man realizes that in front of him is a mess that00:20:59
even the00:21:02
clearest, most confused and everyday truths cannot reach, and00:21:05
he leaves00:21:08
[applause]00:21:12
you all00:21:13
look00:21:16
much younger than your years,00:21:20
I’m starting to read and I hope you, as00:21:24
noble people, will answer me kindly for00:21:27
kindness00:21:29
[applause]00:21:31
now00:21:35
we have a lot of noble people,00:21:38
not enough, last night in00:21:42
the supermarket I looked for a T-shirt, I’m standing00:21:45
at the cash register in front of me, my aunt picked up some junk00:21:49
from - the cashier can’t see the queue for her, a00:21:53
murmur has formed, health has begun,00:21:56
one is shouting from the aunt, I’m late for the00:21:59
train, I want to00:22:02
freeze, then I spat, the background is on, and the00:22:05
idiot just lost count of you and00:22:09
started moving rags, and then a guy00:22:13
some stones, please let00:22:15
me through, the bride is waiting for00:22:17
something rubles for being a coward, you are without surrendering00:22:22
the barakhoi to everything, ugh, the idiot00:22:25
knocked you down again, good00:22:27
health, shouts to the guy, get out of there,00:22:32
the train is not the bride won’t wait,00:22:35
believe me, he’s healing, he’s standing, I’m in line, I’m00:22:39
saying not noble, you’re all a person’s fate,00:22:43
maybe fate is being decided, he bought panties as a gift for the bride, they00:22:49
all laughed about guy, I bought some panties for myself and00:22:52
why did you drag the bride into the00:22:55
composition of the relationship00:22:58
health knits he bought them for himself she has it he will00:23:03
have to wear00:23:05
his girl’s ones and00:23:07
yours is for laughter unhealthy question of00:23:11
life and death here everything is at stake bar00:23:14
I want to ugh on you on everyone is on00:23:17
the idiots if everything is at stake00:23:19
you have to give a ring they panties are00:23:24
miserly they screwed the guys to bendy he00:23:28
bought his panties for himself it00:23:30
squeezed don’t touch him he started00:23:33
updating his wardrobe they00:23:36
don’t believe him let him in and stand behind me00:23:40
so that I don’t miss the train00:23:43
I’m but for him you will know, but there will be a holiday in your soul, it00:23:50
will help a nobler person, you need to be a powerful bride00:23:53
now she is afraid at the Pushkin monument,00:23:56
and the boy is not even old, it00:23:58
squeezed if when you get closer with flowers, forgive me,00:24:01
if with just underpants a rock can fall, a00:24:05
guy for myself, I bought underpants for myself, I’m letting you guys in, I00:24:09
say Never mind00:24:12
our people are not bad, just noble00:24:15
few without thinking people bad bar I want to00:24:18
turn to me the bright face began00:24:21
to say fun and those idiots are good, so I00:24:24
managed to count,00:24:26
I’m going to the end of the line with my health and it’s on fire,00:24:30
come back to my place, I got it already with my00:24:33
nobility to the couple that she gave the ruble for the00:24:36
panties, she received the network, she already wanted to run now00:24:39
that the lights flashed, the spotlights, he00:24:42
turned out to be the millionth buyer,00:24:45
you didn’t show up, he hid them somewhere00:24:48
here nearby, health la shouts to the television,00:24:51
take me off, otherwise I’m too late, will00:24:55
she believe she will never believe me00:24:58
the music started playing, I'm cooking, people, a small but00:25:02
noble deed, let one00:25:05
person pass without a queue, and my holiday00:25:08
turned out great, everyone is happy, there are00:25:11
flowers for the groom, he didn't give them, he also turned out to be a00:25:14
noble man,00:25:16
he had a set of bed linen, he00:25:19
also wanted to give it to me, I, as a noble00:25:22
man, didn't take it00:25:24
great, said give it back to me and I will be00:25:27
grateful to you all my life and the guy gave him a00:25:30
small change, it seems, and everyone’s soul felt00:25:34
somehow happier and finally the guy gives a00:25:38
certificate for 80 thousand rubles, two00:25:42
trips to the sea for 10 days for 80 and to the sea00:25:47
silence of course I say in general - I’m the00:25:52
millionth buyer00:25:54
recovered answer background and you’re an idiot they00:25:57
said not to let the kaurs00:26:00
who helped out the certificate asks00:26:03
who is the millionth buyer of the00:26:05
euro strictly according to the law there and according to conscience and00:26:09
shleya00:26:10
noble people in Russia live only00:26:12
according to conscience and wanted to snatch it from the guy00:26:16
the certificate00:26:17
but he grabbed it and didn’t let go squeezed it standing00:26:22
grinning I swung it and the rod was taken off my00:26:25
face grinning00:26:27
the police suddenly then and there00:26:30
they let everyone go late in the evening00:26:33
health late for the last train the00:26:36
groom was left without a bride with only his00:26:39
underpants00:26:40
I was fined 2000 rubles and that’s why00:26:46
we don’t have enough noble people00:26:49
absolutely something off Gulkin’s nose00:26:52
[applause]00:27:00
Saturday morning we got up early with Svetka,00:27:03
immediately had lunch,00:27:06
listened to the news, how many00:27:09
people have already burned down today, disappeared without a trace and went for00:27:14
a walk for about 15 minutes, Svetka00:27:17
screamed, look, it’s written, we’ve opened,00:27:20
let’s go when it opens, it’s always cheaper, it’s a00:27:24
brothel that opened,00:27:32
not I know they’ve already allowed something like this, not00:27:35
everywhere00:27:36
time let’s go x cheap00:27:40
Sveta believes why go to the canteen when at00:27:44
home the restaurant00:27:49
pulled me to the recreation park, but I’m00:27:51
much more cultured there, people walk around cheerful00:27:55
Sveta, too, let everyone smile then00:27:57
when she screams, look at the fountain, they00:28:00
put up a new sculpture ticking paratrooper00:28:06
something doesn’t really feel right to me when a good statue00:28:10
stands as if alive and this one is standing on her feet00:28:15
we are back on the street there a crowd has gathered00:28:18
a policeman in a car was driving drunk and hit a pedestrian also a00:28:22
policeman00:28:26
also drunk00:28:28
everyone is standing waiting for the sober policemen00:28:32
where did they all go in00:28:35
the evening the sober ones arrived policeman00:28:38
let's look for the culprits and they are looking and looking for they are afraid of00:28:41
Svetka, just in case, they moved away00:28:46
serving books they were selling light in Cairo you have00:28:50
never given me a book all the beer and00:28:53
beer the00:28:54
book you will become smarter and00:28:56
it will be cheaper there they sold books about sex00:29:00
about horrors and about horrors sex00:29:06
[applause]00:29:07
adults, like children, took only books with00:29:11
pictures in the00:29:13
pictures I looked at 1 lack of spirituality I00:29:18
then put on glasses00:29:20
I ask, do you have any Czechs00:29:25
and it’s burning not Czechs not Poles not Romanians to00:29:31
us and in Sara but the most reading nation in the00:29:34
world00:29:35
gave Svetka beer she drank, the00:29:39
stamp was on, let's take a taxi of flowers and00:29:41
wave to my mother, we won't give her a gift, we'll00:29:44
eat at her place and00:29:49
she'll like it, it'll be cheaper for us,00:29:53
especially since she's never seen you sober, we've never seen you sober,00:29:56
we've taken flowers in00:29:58
the public garden, we've00:30:02
gotten into a taxi,00:30:04
color to reproach the uncle, it's nonsense for us to go to my mother's sick place.00:30:07
Isn’t it possible that it sits like that for free, it’s00:30:11
burning, you can make noise not a league for 200:30:13
kilometers, 500 rubles bills are free,00:30:16
some kind of shooting started here, the taxi driver00:30:19
immediately now it will be free for free, it will be 600000:30:22
color kennedys was lost, it’s burning, we’ll come out,00:30:25
maybe it won’t kill us yet, but if we do, then00:30:29
it’ll be cheap,00:30:34
well, if it’s Caucasian wedding they have00:30:36
such a beautiful custom of shooting in all00:30:38
directions, here the police have their own customs of the00:30:42
Caucasus, they wanted to give them money in the amount of00:30:46
a fine, but our police officers don’t00:30:49
take money in the amount of a fine,00:30:54
they didn’t know the Caucasians, then maybe00:30:57
the police didn’t know that they don’t00:30:59
take bribes in In general, there was some kind of confusion,00:31:02
Svetka and I went to her00:31:04
mother on foot, Svetka started screaming,00:31:08
look at the rally at the rally, they said that we00:31:11
all live very well, that there are sides00:31:14
where they live worse than us, the old lady 1 either did00:31:17
n’t hear what she was screaming where where they live it was00:31:21
worse than us00:31:23
and didn’t listen, apparently there was a meeting00:31:27
of the deaf at the end they all sang a song, we sang the lights of00:31:30
the current just as the television was00:31:33
filming, I asked the television if they would show us00:31:36
with Sveta, they said they would show every00:31:39
single one of us,00:31:42
we’d rather go home in time for the news, in00:31:45
general the day went well and the most important thing is00:31:48
cheap00:31:54
inner voice00:31:56
doctor and patient patient excuse me the00:31:58
psychiatrist is here seeing you here you are a00:32:01
psychiatrist I have no one else in the office00:32:04
no one and who do you need shut up what00:32:09
shut up I said okay I’m not your00:32:13
doctor but who we were talking to with00:32:18
my inner voice such a bolt out of00:32:22
shame he will burn with him what he thinks and00:32:24
says00:32:26
only to the widow of Strauss I think that he says00:32:28
also you can’t live the color I won’t drill into00:32:32
him in front of people it’s awkward with you00:32:34
nothing else one on one without witnesses and00:32:37
sometimes you’re walking down the street and suddenly what kind of washing00:32:40
institution is a doctor00:32:43
like he’s charging officials and idlers00:32:47
bloodsuckers waffle that no one00:32:51
hears him I also thought so about you now I’m walking00:32:54
past the restaurant two come out dressed00:32:58
decently drunk decently00:33:01
cigars smoking what’s my business right00:33:05
right but we need parasites in the morning00:33:09
horse whipping00:33:12
nickname no one garma food00:33:14
Hebrew and I’m not for you, it’s not me, he’s for you,00:33:19
but they have a doctor instead of fists, that there are00:33:23
sledgehammers and no one around, the doctor knocked down the00:33:27
patient, no ribs, broken, no, they were abused, they00:33:32
wanted00:33:34
suddenly, out of nowhere, a policeman, God00:33:37
sent me a policeman, I’m already going to see my husband,00:33:40
there’s a voice, a knife, the moment you’re still catching the wrong00:33:44
ones who needs00:33:47
his fists00:33:50
violated worse Virt your documents he does00:33:54
n’t show me with his fingers the show is00:33:57
deaf and dumb from Korea to the side that you00:34:00
look like he’s walking on the floor why on the00:34:04
floor idiots00:34:07
prices think I’m lying doctor ds3 you’ll lie00:34:11
a little nothing wrong you’re the main one00:34:13
calm down approaches applies breasts00:34:16
patient stethoscope I can’t hear anything00:34:19
patient he hits the editor and you have to00:34:21
hide silent you will provoke him00:34:24
say shame and well for example weather00:34:27
doctor weather hear nothing CIS00:34:31
louder doctor Romka weather00:34:34
serve can’t be patient can00:34:38
doctor loud housing and communal services00:34:40
listen obscenities direct00:34:45
goal such a shame such a shame the doctor loudly00:34:48
corruption listens to the three-story this00:34:53
doctor begging for some remedy the00:34:55
doctor loudly valuable listens to be baptized00:34:59
how great and powerful and the Russian language the00:35:04
patient is the doctor don’t refuse to help me00:35:07
life for him can that be done dota no no I do00:35:10
n’t want to get involved in such history00:35:12
process you know what the spirit said to me just now00:35:14
. the patient will deliberately set up00:35:18
the doctor a00:35:19
moment well where no more he calls everyone to the00:35:22
barricades to give birth to unrest what amount00:35:26
then how do I know then you too can00:35:28
that doctor how to contact him00:35:30
comrade00:35:33
deceased comrade doctor I don’t know00:35:37
what to do scare to death by color00:35:40
inner voice he the doctor is not afraid of anything00:35:42
to talk something out, like the patient,00:35:44
try the doctor to put his breasts in the00:35:47
center, the stethoscope says the other end, the00:35:50
idiot the patient, why the idiot, who00:35:53
will like it, only to embitter him and his doctor, I00:35:56
'm sorry, friends, we are now experiencing00:36:00
temporary difficulties, not everything that is happening00:36:02
with us is transparent, but in the long00:36:05
run it will be good everyone00:36:08
will have everything to the top the patient more the doctor00:36:11
more presses his finger the wrasse the00:36:14
doctor quietly fell asleep the patient is similar the00:36:18
doctor sneezes loudly both freezes and that00:36:22
now all your life you need to tremble you need to catch the00:36:25
right remedy dollar against the00:36:27
inner voice there are no means00:36:30
any in the whole world in everything we00:36:33
really have one remedy00:36:35
doctor any money doctor she doesn’t always00:36:39
help doctors suddenly let’s try00:36:42
doctor let me always have some medicine with00:36:45
me because for almost all00:36:47
illnesses she takes out of her robe two bottles of00:36:51
infusion of Ivan da Marya with alcohol Christmas00:36:56
tree to the team as I’ll tell you one or two three00:36:59
God bless00:37:01
we're drinking ready one-two-three00:37:04
God bless the00:37:06
patient is drinking soon the00:37:09
doctor will act in about fifteen minutes shishi in another00:37:12
15 6 in 15 minutes00:37:20
here he shows up doctor swearing no00:37:23
threatening no singing00:37:28
po sings how delightful the evenings are in Russia the00:37:32
doctor I spoke for everyone illness00:37:35
sings love champagne sunsets in the alley00:37:39
both sing ah red summer fun and00:37:41
walks how delightful the evenings are in Russia00:37:45
[applause]00:37:50
I spent the night in an abandoned car Cossacks00:37:53
the car abandoned probably no engines no00:37:56
steering wheel no wheels00:37:58
no secrets and at00:38:00
night I see a foreign car speeding jeep00:38:03
cherokee00:38:04
I'm in the Cossacks meters a hundred from the road in a00:38:08
ditch I’m00:38:09
standing still because there’s no gas pedal either,00:38:14
why is it in such detail as a result of a00:38:18
traffic00:38:19
accident the00:38:22
driver of the jeep was drunk before me there was00:38:26
still a kilometer left already wearing00:38:30
his badge in the Cossacks I’m standing still00:38:32
sober in a ditch about a hundred meters from the road00:38:36
a jeep is rushing along the road there was still00:38:39
a fence there, he would never have gotten to me00:38:43
the driver was very drunk and he hits00:38:47
me in the ass like00:38:50
this there was a traffic00:38:51
accident they had with the car nothing the00:38:54
Zaporozhian bumper was dented00:38:58
they were getting out of the car I was smaller each00:39:02
three times00:39:03
their four people the driver is the most00:39:07
sober00:39:09
they are immediately alien and well, you make00:39:13
such a cheek anymore you had nowhere to park the car00:39:22
drive 40 thousand dollars00:39:26
and I don’t have00:39:28
them they don’t care about us but do00:39:32
n’t care00:39:35
sell the villa I don’t have and less I don’t00:39:39
have a cottage I don’t have a garden and of your children I do00:39:44
n’t have that00:39:47
lady, I don’t have your wife, they00:39:51
turned away, they’re talking to each00:39:53
other and I hear everything verbatim, I can’t tell you,00:39:57
my tongue won’t turn,00:39:59
I’ll only convey the meaning, one says00:40:04
gentlemen,00:40:14
kill him and take nothing we can’t00:40:18
lose ourselves this way and this is the00:40:22
worst thing that can happen to a00:40:24
person00:40:26
2 is on fire listen please00:40:32
God sees me we00:40:35
need to buy them luck an apartment a car00:40:37
give money after which he00:40:41
will crash into us with his car for which we will take everything from him00:40:44
and kill him and00:40:46
so on In this way, gentlemen, let’s save ourselves and00:40:49
once again find the meaning of life on this00:40:52
blue planet,00:40:55
then the most intelligent of them00:40:57
turn to me, say bro,00:40:59
there’s no market,00:41:00
well, he explains everything, and three days later00:41:03
they made money, a car, an apartment, a 3-00:41:06
room dacha,00:41:07
we agreed on exactly 3 o’clock in the afternoon on the 25th00:41:11
kilometer Simferopol highway,00:41:13
I was catching up in my car and didn’t hit him too00:41:16
hard in the ass, I took a swim, shaved, put on00:41:19
clean underwear, they promised to bury me00:41:22
quickly too, we were on Novodevichy and00:41:25
exactly 3 hours on the 25th kilometer of the00:41:28
Simferopol highway before I00:41:32
caught up with them, they caught up with some Mercedes00:41:37
from there don’t stop them with a00:41:39
grenade launcher and that’s it now I have a dacha,00:41:45
apartment, car, it’s a pity to throw money away, but they00:41:49
already have to kill me, why did such trouble00:41:53
come to me,00:41:58
tell all this about meetings with00:42:00
wonderful people,00:42:02
I’m standing in the central market with a stick of 50000:42:07
rubles, a kilo of00:42:08
ordinary people I don’t see It’s00:42:12
only wonderful artists who come to me00:42:14
when they have more than one, and so00:42:17
writers are more artists, these00:42:20
statues sculpt statues ora00:42:23
have something to tell, not an engineer00:42:27
of some kind with a writer, one of them00:42:30
got along closely, comes up to me, I’m a writer by00:42:33
last name, I00:42:35
forgot his last name but he is a famous writer00:42:39
to spite me his works war and00:42:42
peace00:42:44
crime and punishment00:42:46
Eugene Onegin I read one of his books myself the00:42:50
woman in white00:42:53
well he took half a kilo from me stood00:42:56
aside 100 and to hell with you and I will transport whatever I do00:42:59
n’t say he writes down what I say00:43:02
scarif notebook you understand lives from this00:43:05
you are at the machine station at Martin’s and in general00:43:08
I’m living up to my neck in the swamp for a stick, he’s00:43:12
pretty much breaking through little by little and00:43:14
ready for war and peace,00:43:16
here you are a wonderful person00:43:19
who thinks in someone’s bubble I raised the price to00:43:23
600 re per kilo I have my own crime00:43:26
and punishment00:43:27
and statue cancer two words wonderful00:43:30
got one statue he brought to himself an hour00:43:34
I will sculpt you I ask myself don’t you00:43:38
sculpt burning figures or else you see a00:43:42
wonderful man looking like a freak and00:43:46
humbly strength to sculpt a hero according to00:43:49
Gogol’s early stories the hero was called to the bottom makhan00:43:53
but soon he will finish Now you’ll see00:43:57
that they’re nervous, everyone starts up out of nothing,00:44:01
and this one comes up right away, I didn’t00:44:05
like it, it’s tired of some, but he00:44:07
smiles and asks why cranberries are00:44:10
700 euros per kilo of it, you know how it’s warped,00:44:15
the wife followed behind, she accidentally recognized him00:44:18
by the number from the dry cleaner.00:44:21
high raised that my nerves00:44:24
could not stand it, I raised the stick to 800 r m and00:44:28
the silence of the average ones is generally more sick than the00:44:31
normal ones, although you can’t immediately determine00:44:34
the announcer sh1 got into the habit of walking outwardly,00:44:37
of course, what are you and he has no sleep at all,00:44:41
doesn’t sleep with her all the time, no personal doctor00:44:45
one step away from her, what insomnia has reached00:44:48
now, but with the method of treating00:44:51
extra sex,00:44:55
she herself told me Vitek him that he00:44:57
really doesn’t believe only in extra sex, they00:45:01
know what it’s called, you don’t know in00:45:04
Russia, she doesn’t know what it’s called,00:45:06
and she took it almost every day I have00:45:09
900 per kilo because if00:45:12
you don’t feed those cranberry exterrov, they themselves can00:45:14
bend,00:45:16
the thing is like all of them again, no thank God, the00:45:22
dental technician liked me the most among the wonderful people, he00:45:23
asks how much the cranberries are, I’m00:45:27
lying, I caressed you a thousand, just don’t put the crushed beam on me I00:45:31
’ll take 1100 per kilo, it’ll be cheaper for me to think00:45:34
about such a meeting, remember the00:45:37
role-playing engineer, what can he tell? He has00:45:40
only screws in his head and I don’t have a00:45:43
single one00:45:45
[applause]00:45:51
the scene is called Heine, the first sits,00:45:54
enters, 2 called called,00:45:56
found Sidorov, we’ll file00:46:00
documents to evict someone for which it’s00:46:05
not in vain that you were at the stadium yesterday I don’t remember if you had00:46:10
so much to drink still that you00:46:12
remember00:46:15
the trash at the stadium and who you broke the00:46:19
world record I’m not in any form drunk00:46:28
in any sport in the 100-00:46:31
meter steeplechase00:46:33
here are the documents the notepad is melting that I00:46:35
joined the runners belatedly00:46:39
objected first set a new world00:46:42
record three seconds00:46:43
difficult not not a normal person cannot00:46:46
run so fast the00:46:48
first we are not talking about a normal person and00:46:50
we will evict you Sidorov 3 for00:46:55
nothing given you complaints you know how00:46:57
many how many what kind of needles like wiki so00:47:02
she has supernatural abilities00:47:03
that open up which slander who the00:47:07
enemies of some hedgehog dragged in eras by the way00:47:11
about hedgehogs takes out a notebook from the zoo00:47:14
came reads for half an hour talked with the00:47:17
animal00:47:18
well forbidden table cages fresh we00:47:22
got into a conversation with him as much as he can fit in00:47:24
his cages sidorov and in the cage there are no00:47:27
songs and he is with you the00:47:30
second thing and what was the drink the00:47:34
hedgehog was sober it was not eat but the00:47:38
grizzly bear with00:47:41
[applause]00:47:44
the bear I’m not what he told you I don’t00:47:48
remember our complained cool00:47:52
to the bears okay the paratroopers00:47:55
did what to you with with with with with with the paratroopers00:47:58
I'm talking to the blue plane I sat down I didn't I00:48:03
the price they were in parachuting00:48:06
who landed first the whole army took part00:48:09
ordinary sergeants officers you00:48:11
think landed first then the general00:48:15
no you I'm not I ruined the people's holiday00:48:21
violated the rules not- no-no rule never00:48:24
that you should have opened the parachute00:48:26
as late as possible you didn’t open at all00:48:32
which cruiser kingdom of heaven who needs00:48:35
me00:48:37
Sidorov sober you’re completely stupid00:48:40
if kingdom of heaven who am I00:48:43
talking to then which but what about the00:48:46
feast without a parachute no one except you knows00:48:49
having drunk, you're a genius 3 they're slandering who00:48:52
seems like everyone's going to evict you left for the day, they're00:48:57
not really talking about science, they're silent, they're00:48:59
silent, they're not silent and they take out a notebook from the00:49:02
Academy of Sciences, they came reading, they burst00:49:05
drunk into the conference room and began to00:49:07
mathematically prove to scientists that there is a God,00:49:12
I didn't prove it. proved hurry up00:49:17
God then help me to00:49:20
do it and that you don’t remember anything at all00:49:22
vaguely from the pen remember at least something will come in00:49:25
handy people you understand sidors00:49:28
it can take thousands of years for sober people00:49:31
but what about our scientists that they00:49:35
drink so little00:49:39
we transfer to evict who for what at00:49:42
when you finally calm down that in those00:49:45
blood and great maybe it’s difficult for you to get married00:49:48
no-no-no-no 1 pant leg no what are you like the devil00:49:52
from incense tour I’m shy about the girls Perry I do00:49:56
n’t have to lie to us here the notepad00:49:58
is reading at the fashion house miss of the city wanted00:50:01
to throw himself under a car because of you, he promised00:50:04
to marry,00:50:06
I don’t think he appeared here instead of00:50:10
the republic, he turned to her, then the00:50:13
thought appeared, Europe, he turned to00:50:15
her, you’re a womanizer, they00:50:17
said who the enemies00:50:20
are slandering, reading, persuaded Europe or00:50:24
tilted, here he writes, persuaded Europe, you can’t00:50:28
make out what, but in the morning she looked at00:50:31
him three stars sting00:50:35
behave yourself a simple girl quiet00:50:38
modest hardworking the second is crying 100:50:41
states that no one will follow for me00:50:44
why there are good things for you00:50:46
that I don’t remember first I would have built00:50:50
chapters I could be reading while00:50:52
drunk I deciphered the ancient Babylonian00:50:54
cuneiform and here they stand during a fire in an00:50:59
underground casino, brought 6 policemen out of the fire from the fire,00:51:06
I’m not I, what they were doing there, I don’t know that’s00:51:12
what Severov after all this is interesting and it00:51:14
became possible for me to combine00:51:16
genius with agility00:51:20
us manager to combine it would be nice to have a feast00:51:25
sits down next to the second one, hugs him00:51:28
by the shoulders, can you solve this mystery,00:51:30
you will get a Nobel Prize, it would be nice if00:51:33
any girl would marry you, it00:51:36
would be nice how much more you need to drink to00:51:40
solve this mystery, which00:51:42
how much can only be learned during the00:51:44
experiments, feast and I took with it's00:51:50
worth a bottle of vodka glass pour drink00:51:53
drink another 1 pours ru drinks more 1 000:51:58
2 drinks more or pours 3 drinks a00:52:02
little more00:52:04
1 pours will drink good grams for00:52:08
grams 1 but you can combine the genius of00:52:12
agility still easily00:52:15
guessed which business before this00:52:19
notepad and pen write down say but00:52:21
which I know how to combine well done but can’t00:52:26
choose reprimand00:52:30
drank exactly to solve solved but ca00:52:33
n’t elections in well damn00:52:38
I quit drinking 1 no you don’t quit 2 I throw in00:52:42
the hall don’t stop drinking 1 zone no takes00:52:46
thieves by the scruff of the neck first let him they're all the way00:52:49
out the way out you're taking him away he's walking00:52:54
[applause]00:52:59
it's not you who got the banker's check yesterday00:53:03
not this one that's from where over who's in the deputies the00:53:08
owners of the restaurants the casino stores00:53:11
the banker doesn't have sticks unless a wounded man00:53:14
ran in00:53:17
It's unlikely that00:53:19
you have officials who used to be00:53:21
timid and now they are00:53:25
taking00:53:27
dates out of their hands, that by00:53:29
God, people around them are not afraid of taking anything from their hands,00:53:33
no matter00:53:36
how much they give them, they will take everything, but do00:53:40
n’t you have officials, don’t we have politicians,00:53:43
so many of them were horrified that00:53:47
year, all of them harvest00:53:50
we gobbled them up for applause we catch them clap your00:53:53
hands and here he is he jumped out00:53:55
from somewhere00:53:56
let’s sing so beautifully such trills00:54:02
brings out dry dry I’ll ruin ta ta ta ta ta ta00:54:05
drill people people oh my God and dry00:54:10
dry dry & dry dry dry, yes, at least00:54:14
he can sing about his salary00:54:16
about housing, profession, you’re standing there thinking that the00:54:21
couples are going to kill you, but you listened too well,00:54:25
God won’t give anything away, soon we’ll go to the00:54:29
deputies too00:54:30
early, they’ve only just started, they haven’t00:54:34
recruited anything, there00:54:35
won’t be any new stuff, and now00:54:39
you’ll get tired of them too, but what are traces they stopped00:54:42
leaving like Christ big like here is a deputy, here is the00:54:47
money, everyone is staring at the money, here is a00:54:50
deputy, here is the money, no one takes their eyes off here, here is a deputy, here is the00:54:52
money, well, here is a deputy, what’s00:54:56
next and there is no money anymore, and the fact00:55:00
that Gaba in your mother00:55:05
one deputy began to poison he rushed at them00:55:08
they let's shoot and bullets bounce00:55:11
off his forehead00:55:13
such bullets bounce off his forehead00:55:17
oto-san get used to the shuttles homeless people don't look for00:55:20
this some are just that memory then00:55:24
doctors engineers teachers00:55:27
no one is hunting them it is given that they are for00:55:32
fun is this what it is hunting with us they00:55:35
run straight into the garden00:55:38
carrots there are potatoes00:55:40
shovels slapped him on the head and the whole photo00:55:45
yes they can barely wear their legs it means it’s not00:55:50
your banker yesterday the check was bounced not00:55:52
that it’s just talk or hunting it’s not00:55:56
so00:56:02
Nikolai is so jealous and what kind of00:56:05
technician told you the bag, those postman00:56:09
came up, they write with a neighbor at the pump,00:56:12
God, the neighbor is 9 years old and we are00:56:16
screaming and then crawling, asking for forgiveness,00:56:20
let him be in bed, I’ll buy you a fur coat, as much00:56:24
as I already told him, we’ll sort it out, you’ll let him out, I’ll take the cow, it looks like a ridge00:56:28
in the00:56:31
mud, you bastard not washed,00:56:34
hurt or talk and how did you become emo00:56:37
Baldwin live that week, the pillar00:56:40
was jealous because I’m not lying, I went to close the gate00:56:44
and it was already dark, I’m standing,00:56:47
hugged, flies with an ax, save yourself and all00:56:50
the pillars,00:56:52
you almost killed me, came home, let’s00:56:56
make me laugh with secrets from Georgian danced a00:56:59
knife in his teeth into the hall underpants up to his knees cove00:57:04
waves his crooked legs and00:57:08
jumps and squats00:57:10
until he slipped00:57:13
sour milk and knocked over00:57:15
sits like a Georgian00:57:19
forest went through the berries I hear someone sneaking after him I00:57:22
found a stone in the bushes00:57:27
home I come there’s a bigger lump on his forehead00:57:30
head and00:57:32
the joint hit,00:57:35
how could there be more tea with bayonets I didn’t find00:57:40
tea at work here I’m doing a good job00:57:44
then either certificates or let me00:57:46
hug you and00:57:48
I’m working very well well and for some reason one00:57:52
time there were no certificates at all and mine didn’t go00:57:55
to the meeting I went fishing it’s better for the wise and00:57:59
you are not a single one and often came in large numbers not00:58:02
everyone and climbed out of the presidium let me00:58:04
hug you00:58:06
the head of the administration when he went to hug00:58:09
7 he was already out of the hall suddenly his hands00:58:13
fly away it’s00:58:16
a shame God not knowing where you should00:58:19
get dressed there the head of the administration was also00:58:21
scared maybe it’s an assassination attempt to ask00:58:24
this is your husband don’t say no my fishing00:58:27
with00:58:29
both of them is bad and he’s00:58:32
jealous and he’s already jealous I don’t have any strength I’m00:58:35
hiding so I don’t wear makeup I’m walking00:58:38
like hell00:58:40
mixture back we’re sitting in the hut in the evening and suddenly00:58:43
the light is turned off he immediately rubs you where00:58:46
I stocked up on purpose I silently heard the stones00:58:51
rummaging around, I went to the stove, no answer, no, I00:58:56
smeared soot on my face, so he00:59:01
took my hands, his voice was sweet, it became grun, there was a00:59:04
break in the line for a long time, let's go to bed00:59:09
and kiss, the light was turned on,00:59:15
I, nature, did not scream, they will00:59:21
fall, and they will begin to wake up00:59:24
I growl everything with my hand in place, and every time it’s you,00:59:27
this game in RuNet and you,00:59:30
too, Kozhin there still wants to find the00:59:35
sweetest dreams, mutters in my ear, why am I00:59:39
telling you this, the pig asked for us and00:59:41
those piglets turned out good, one was00:59:44
almost dead and didn’t squeal00:59:48
her legs never broke, she never stood on her00:59:51
legs, but this morning she got up before dark,00:59:54
washed him on the dryer, and went to bed in her00:59:56
place, she00:59:59
hid behind the back,01:00:02
it was dawning, I heard Grunya, then you are playing01:00:06
this game, I’m01:00:10
a dear, what can one word do to a man01:00:14
right? I feel his delight, he01:00:17
rose,01:00:19
he spun around in my direction and there was silence for about01:00:24
five to ten minutes, not a sound, are you afraid of the sun01:00:28
or is he dead, is he going to kill me, otherwise I heard a01:00:32
chest shoulder,01:00:35
what’s wrong with you, I01:00:39
say, you drove me crazy, you’re a pig with01:00:43
your jealousy, since then you’ve only become quieter01:00:47
stutter sometimes01:00:51
they say one blue was jealous was jealous of01:00:53
his wife for no reason and strangled him in the end but I’m01:00:57
not jealous at all and here I came to the neighbors and01:00:59
in Moscow 1 so not the birth of the skin01:01:03
I’m an artist I’m a portrait painter I want to01:01:06
draw you Nikolai I’ve picked nettles she’s been picking01:01:11
since then she draws only flowers and01:01:13
that’s all, why be jealous of01:01:18
[applause]01:01:25
here all the benefits are gone and other people’s are theirs01:01:30
for so no one will do anything, even though01:01:34
my wife is normal, yes, this is something01:01:37
yesterday evening, the current and only I lay down,01:01:41
she’s on fire, 200 rubles are01:01:44
all inside me and it ended like that,01:01:49
money in advance01:01:52
yagr, suddenly how many years is it free,01:01:57
she’s free, forget about it, or else life01:02:00
has gone now, why don’t you take it, everything is01:02:02
expensive, and yesterday01:02:05
energy prices jumped sharply,01:02:09
I’m cooking, but we’re cooking ours, where they have their01:02:13
own, they might show up and strangers and01:02:16
I washed myself, I think they waited for market01:02:19
relations01:02:20
at night, she forgot herself and the pine tree01:02:27
fell with her hand in the dead silence in a01:02:30
dead voice I say 34001:02:36
instantly the dream left her01:02:39
that there were 34001:02:41
dollars,01:02:44
she smiles01:02:46
as before the execution, suddenly a dollar and01:02:49
asks when the thing is in rubles,01:02:57
so I say and dollars that the ruble is01:03:00
constantly giving,01:03:12
in general, they started to bargain, I say 30001:03:15
dollars and for 5 rubles01:03:19
I’m 200 dollars, she 5 rubles01:03:24
agreed in the morning somewhere on 5 rubles and01:03:31
it’s time to get up, I01:03:34
began to think about her for barter, you didn’t go,01:03:38
apparently I was afraid to make a mistake, I don’t know where will01:03:42
we come after all Syunik evening there will be01:03:44
prices this again on energy resources will01:03:46
jump in general you can become disabled01:03:49
thank you stay healthy you01:03:56
need to imagine a person who01:03:58
runs out with a chair in his hands with his legs01:04:01
forward and how to find a child they introduce01:04:03
some kind of device that01:04:04
controls the01:04:10
dry coating01:04:13
good thing, the main thing is just a chair and a01:04:17
rope, pulling the rope and forward, a01:04:21
month ago, four people came to us from the ministry,01:04:24
they say now you are01:04:26
independent and the enterprise is what you want01:04:29
and they have complete freedom of action,01:04:32
as soon as they scream freedom, freedom, I was also01:04:37
happy, then he thinks, let me check01:04:39
just in case, they give me complete freedom or01:04:42
partial, I tied a rope to the chair,01:04:45
I run out01:04:47
[music]01:04:48
ours are okay, they’ve known me for a long time, but the01:04:52
ministerial ones, of course, got cold feet, they thought I was01:04:56
crazy, where did I get away from?01:05:09
I'm burning,01:05:13
guys, now we have freedom, we need to01:05:15
quickly go abroad, conclude a01:05:18
couple of more profitable contracts, maybe to01:05:20
Australia, guys in Odessa, let's01:05:23
go to Australia, I salute the honor, I scream,01:05:27
readiness, zero01:05:30
solar panels ahead of the propeller,01:05:34
the ministerial ones are worried, they're burning for01:05:36
a minute and their chief reaches out to touch the chair,01:05:39
I'm screaming Rocky01:05:43
will tear the hell out of01:05:46
me to answer later and then they were seriously01:05:50
worried asks what kind of contract they01:05:52
need so that one of us is sure to be01:05:55
present I’m cooking who needs it we don’t01:05:58
need it now we have complete freedom and to01:06:01
the guys guys say nothing if I01:06:03
sign contracts from the calculation is that a01:06:05
million would be paid for each brother,01:06:07
cleaning ladies 500 thousand each, the01:06:10
red guys are fine for a start,01:06:14
here the ministerial ones are again like 500 thousand each,01:06:17
our salary is 300 rubles a month, I01:06:20
uri you are here, why did you wait on the ice, they didn’t01:06:23
invent what to pay you for, they suddenly01:06:27
calmed down, they tell everyone now there is01:06:30
no doubt this is an idiot01:06:33
take off01:06:35
I'm burning liters broken01:06:38
badger and who's on the remote this iPhone what's the01:06:43
weather like in Australia in what people come in01:06:46
wearing nothing01:06:47
then let them meet you and01:06:50
start undressing The01:07:06
guys won’t understand it that way and they don’t care whether they film it or01:07:09
not, but the01:07:10
ministerial ones I see are against01:07:13
filming it’s burning, it turned out to be quite01:07:16
yagura, I’m wondering what the package should be01:07:19
and in01:07:21
general we now have complete freedom,01:07:24
the chief shakes his head, doubts01:07:27
about freedom, then I do it, you show up, I don’t01:07:30
notice, I say on this occasion, the guys and I wanted to01:07:32
take you into a share of a million per01:07:35
brother, the main thing is that he immediately nodded, he says01:07:38
you have complete freedom,01:07:39
I’m asking if you want to get the money in01:07:42
Australia without deductions or here with01:07:44
deductions, it’s like they rehearsed for a week with01:07:47
one voice, they say in01:07:50
Australia without deductions,01:07:52
I tell the guys I shout urgently here, another 4301:07:55
raids,01:07:57
they bring 4 chairs with ropes,01:08:00
I tell the ministerial people themselves, they heard01:08:03
the heat there,01:08:05
and01:08:06
most importantly, we, the delegation, must be in the same01:08:09
uniform,01:08:11
they undress quickly, sit down quickly01:08:13
on a chair, everyone grabs a rope,01:08:16
I’m already twitching on command to01:08:19
cover my eyes with my left hand so that didn’t01:08:22
get out from overload in01:08:24
about fifteen minutes we’ll be on site get01:08:27
ready for the start attention march everyone01:08:32
pulled sitting in chairs keeping their eyes01:08:34
closed01:08:35
after 15 minutes opens their eyes in front of01:08:39
them people in white coats01:08:42
swelling has already been warned01:08:45
the senior orderly says we are glad to01:08:47
welcome you to Australia01:08:57
ministerial cowards of all are lagging behind bow01:09:01
the chief smiles and says that on 301:09:04
raids,01:09:08
the orderlies come to you, they say to us in whatever they01:09:10
come to us,01:09:14
the chief, we are very glad, we were shocked to get01:09:18
a nurse, even if you didn’t come to01:09:22
us, now a lot of yours are coming to us and everyone is01:09:26
happy, we are fine now, take a shower,01:09:30
the chief, don’t play this contract01:09:33
will be signed by the01:09:34
orderlies, then it is necessary that this is the first01:09:37
thing, but according to our laws, contracts01:09:40
are signed and in special cars,01:09:42
go through all four of them, the main bully is01:09:45
talking to us here, another one must be01:09:47
crazy, probably lost the course, the01:09:52
orderly is nothing, one crazy01:09:54
more, one less, and they went for01:09:57
millions and I stayed with the guys a10001:10:00
everyone does what they want and do for that it is01:10:02
complete freedom01:10:09
good evening01:10:10
[music]01:10:12
are you relaxing01:10:15
well I apologize for the not the most fun01:10:18
titles of the story01:10:21
testament01:10:24
everyone’s nerves are shaken to the limit because01:10:28
you can’t trust anyone01:10:30
about the weather they will say one thing in fact,01:10:34
the weather is completely different with the European Union, our01:10:38
standards have gone wrong, she has also become01:10:40
capricious, and these01:10:46
main Americans themselves shouted to the shooters with their sanctions,01:10:50
our man, we relied on him, but01:10:54
something is not in a hurry, and now01:10:58
you are expecting a trick from your relatives; your01:11:01
closest ones are still not on guard In the morning I’m01:11:05
not saying that you taught me all night,01:11:09
maybe I shouldn’t overeat before going to bed,01:11:13
I think now she’ll say, please don’t make things up,01:11:16
that we’ve already eaten something like that,01:11:21
or calm down, it’s okay that it’s bloating01:11:25
in the mail, you’ll pass,01:11:28
she suddenly says you’re not feeling well,01:11:32
sit down, write a will,01:11:37
bye It’s not too late, I01:11:43
stopped teaching under the cold, I went01:11:46
to the mirror to see if there were any signs of death any01:11:50
minute now,01:11:53
no, I’m saying, why are you talking about the will, she’s an01:11:57
acquaintance yesterday and she called me, her01:12:00
husband died overnight, I01:12:02
didn’t have time to leave the will, I was younger than you,01:12:07
I’m not complaining about the01:12:09
noise got through without a queue,01:12:13
but maybe we’ll have breakfast first01:12:17
then, and then she’s on the other side, he just01:12:22
had breakfast,01:12:26
drank coffee first, wanted to become, but it doesn’t work out,01:12:29
why, because it’s been about five minutes since his01:12:36
wife died,01:12:38
you feel it, and you said the wrong thing, Gref,01:12:42
God bless them What do we have for breakfast and we have01:12:45
coffee01:12:46
[music]01:12:48
according to a new recipe01:12:51
that you look01:12:54
as if you are alone in the forest and around you there are wolves of01:13:00
grief you will drink coffee which according to the01:13:03
new recipe01:13:05
she I won’t die if I don’t01:13:10
look at her her face is slightly distorted and01:13:14
not only would it be one on one, but something01:13:17
appeared from Trump,01:13:21
I think well then, I won’t die if01:13:25
I don’t drink,01:13:26
I won’t drink and I won’t die,01:13:30
she’s already poured it01:13:32
and01:13:33
then01:13:36
Merkel floats out from behind her and01:13:39
her head goes from side to side, they say01:13:43
don’t don’t drink what she or she decided to01:13:49
put up with us01:13:51
wife drink who you don’t drink try at least01:13:55
maybe she’ll say something good coffee or01:13:58
so-so01:14:00
maybe you won’t say anything anymore01:14:04
I think we need to switch the conversation to another01:14:07
topic on life-affirming rowing and you01:14:12
wrote a will01:14:16
she I mean, for some reason, it’s01:14:19
as if if I die, then it’s God01:14:22
willing, God took it,01:14:24
and01:14:25
if she is, then isn’t it a contract killing,01:14:29
it’s been decided that the conversation doesn’t go well for us on an empty stomach, come on,01:14:32
my dear, let’s spit on01:14:36
everything and go somewhere to unwind, and so as01:14:39
youth, we are alone in the whole01:14:42
world, no one around, why is there01:14:44
no one around, what does it mean,01:14:48
let’s go to you in the car, the brakes are01:14:54
acting up, what are you up to, and there are tears in your eyes, how01:14:59
could you, I gave you my best years, parasites, and I01:15:06
can’t say anything more good about you, and01:15:08
I went into my own the room01:15:10
slept with the bell, the door opened on the01:15:13
threshold of her best friend Galya, the01:15:16
enemy of the human race,01:15:20
this is Galya without hello without how life is burning,01:15:25
come to your senses beast, what are you doing, she is a holy01:15:30
woman, a01:15:32
game about the fact that she is sweeping away with you, she01:15:36
may not agree with the church01:15:39
Galya, she is a saint, you will be good and Do01:15:44
you want coffee,01:15:46
why did she just drink it? The wife walks in, not a drop of01:15:49
blood in her face, gallium is burning, he decided01:15:53
that I mixed him poison in the cafe, am I01:15:56
capable of this? Galya, you wanted to01:16:01
say something else, but I lost my tongue,01:16:04
I waited, I see Galya, quickly, the river is not01:16:08
coming back my almost turned pink and then I01:16:11
also drank coffee and01:16:14
we don’t need to rely on anything for Trump only01:16:18
on ourselves and it’s also not a big deal just sit down and01:16:21
write a will01:16:23
[applause] [music]01:16:30
Kira I’m running somewhere01:16:32
about my business I’m in a hurry and it’s scary01:16:35
the speed is about a hundred kilometers at one01:16:38
o'clock there is still a fair wind, I see on the left,01:16:41
someone is also running, also covered in soap, the01:16:44
face is familiar, I don’t remember the name, but I know01:16:47
why it’s good,01:16:48
Viktorova’s name is like Victor, the devil01:16:52
knows what her name is, but a01:16:54
very close person saw me,01:16:57
hello, hello, well, start, you’ll start01:17:00
chatting, just time lost in the01:17:02
process of leaving him, I run, I see he’s already01:17:04
nearby, only now on the right, who is this, where did he01:17:06
see him, then I remembered this, my dear brother01:17:11
Vitaly01:17:13
Anatoly, what kind of life is he, and smiles at me,01:17:17
how are you doing, okay, how are you,01:17:19
mamba leita, my father is01:17:22
the menu, my father is my mother,01:17:25
well I should have stopped to have a01:17:27
heart-to-heart talk, but when it was all done, he only turned a01:17:29
little to the left, sorted from the right, and rushed01:17:32
low from below, he died here 20, but I feel01:17:34
I don’t need to go to the right, you should rush01:17:36
home, I’d rather go home, time is running out, and the01:17:39
child’s risky quickly came running,01:17:41
shouting to my loved ones she is loved and is flying towards me01:17:45
and would stop and the time is late the theater01:17:48
really has a little time, undress quickly,01:17:50
maybe we will have time to01:17:52
undress as quickly as possible, I for her01:17:55
rather, rather, behind me in front in front,01:17:57
rather, quickly, quickly, got tangled up in the01:17:59
underwear of01:18:01
that door and slam, she got scared of me the husband01:18:05
came01:18:09
or the poet's daughter some guy flies into01:18:12
school calling culture, come01:18:15
quickly in01:18:16
1 7 b01:18:19
I'm late for football, grabbed my skates and01:18:22
ran away from Korea to get dressed and says01:18:25
let's hurry up, maybe we'll make it to school, she'll hurry up,01:18:27
I'll do it faster than me, but01:18:29
everything is backwards and they don’t look like01:18:32
themselves, then I ask why you01:18:34
said my husband came, I’m your husband,01:18:38
you, yes, why did you say we’ll take you to the theater,01:18:42
also borrowed during the day, said let’s go to the restaurant and01:18:44
again the door slams a man 3 meters tall,01:18:47
what kind of life is the husband of the guards01:18:50
I don’t know who this woman is, it’s just that a person came in to01:18:53
ask for salt, a01:18:57
point for him, salt yourself, run quickly to the01:18:59
restaurant, I’ll catch up with you, I still have01:19:01
business here and rushed to the door, she I love01:19:04
helium, which restaurant and he’s already disappeared,01:19:08
I’m asking if this is apartment 65 no, this is 56 and01:19:12
hurry up home bigus korean01:19:15
hurry up come run love me love the01:19:17
mouse too for so long we've been walking all the oil01:19:19
in the hotel no thank you god got you01:19:21
home01:19:22
smoking he's changing clothes she's01:19:24
changing clothes Yuri let's hurry up01:19:26
quickly run to the theater on the way01:19:29
I'm talking about my brother she's laughing01:19:31
funny show no, you don't have any brother,01:19:35
we run up to the theater minute by minute, hurry up the01:19:38
stairs without holding on top for a01:19:40
month to the fishing line, do we hurry up, rather,01:19:42
pull the ticket on, tear it off and turn it around,01:19:44
you ran to the theater every day,01:19:48
we quickly run back, run home scaris 3 I do01:19:52
n't believe it, well for life and all the time01:19:55
we are in a hurry somewhere, like damned people, we should01:19:57
stop and think, but we need to01:19:59
stop and think right now, and01:20:02
she and I ran on01:20:05
[applause] I01:20:10
accidentally found out how you can get rich quickly01:20:14
homeless people overheard01:20:17
one said spit on a rich man,01:20:20
you’ll get rich yourself01:20:23
first thought stupidity superstition like01:20:27
quit drinking you will become healthy in the01:20:30
evening sat down to have dinner your wife is on fire there is01:20:33
nothing in the house just a stool a rope and a01:20:37
bar of soap01:20:40
you think about me it’s hard for a shole to spit on a01:20:42
rich person you at least01:20:45
jumped out into the street ran to the restaurant01:20:48
just came running comes out pot-bellied with cognac a mile away01:20:51
in the hands of a cigar Cuban wear01:20:54
smoke from the ears black caviar01:20:57
I jumped up spat at him he was not01:21:00
effective that he managed to take out the wallet and01:21:02
throw me01:21:04
methyl reptiles in the temple01:21:07
to kill me on the spot but I dodged01:21:11
caught the wallet and ran to01:21:13
live and it turned out to be a lot of dollars if you01:21:18
translate almost 40 thousand euros into our money01:21:23
[music]01:21:24
I went straight to the bank, from there straight to the police, the01:21:28
euros turned out to be fake,01:21:31
that is, a sign of work, and spat on the swindler,01:21:34
having received counterfeit money,01:21:37
the lyceum thrill said that he had found01:21:39
the wallet, they didn’t believe it, they immediately let me01:21:42
go, I was already in despair, but after01:21:46
two months I’m standing here and Ram01:21:49
I haven’t had breakfast on the street early for the third day with01:21:53
nothing and below they come straight at me, five of them,01:21:57
all gold chains, gold teeth, one with a01:22:02
golden eye,01:22:04
rare luck,01:22:05
I think I’ll hit someone, it can’t be01:22:09
that I didn’t hit, and the rarest case,01:22:13
I hit everyone at once, a01:22:16
week later I came to I01:22:18
mean, I came to my senses and decided to01:22:23
spit once again at the first one I came across01:22:25
and I’m done with wealth, and then God,01:22:29
that is, went out into the street and a01:22:32
guy 3 meters tall was walking towards me, his muzzle was all01:22:36
swollen, his eyes couldn’t be seen, I spat, he01:22:40
lifted me up by the collar, very,01:22:43
very high the doctors are on fire and not everything is healing,01:22:48
I was tormented from the barley and spat and01:22:52
everything went away, he01:22:53
arranged for me to work with him so that I would01:22:56
always be at hand under his eye, the01:22:59
money pays good, I understood how to01:23:02
get rich, I01:23:03
need to work, I01:23:10
got out of the subway last night and were01:23:13
walking with a cleric it’s already dark there are few people01:23:18
at all there is no one at all01:23:21
a little uneasy,01:23:23
not to mention uneasy, a chill on the01:23:27
skin and here behind me, clok-clack-clack-clack-clack, a01:23:31
horse gallops,01:23:33
turning right at me, a01:23:37
guy of this height rushes towards me,01:23:39
boots on natural horseshoes horse and01:23:42
teeth like a horse,01:23:44
I wasn’t scared but ran01:23:48
Osho how many times recently in a public garden were01:23:53
teenage girls sitting just a flock of01:23:56
girls sitting tweeting beer drinking01:24:01
some beer some vodka01:24:03
suddenly sees a world champion01:24:07
in boxing without rules walking past them drunk in the smoke01:24:11
3 meters tall01:24:13
33 1001:24:16
goes to them with a bad purpose,01:24:19
how it all ended,01:24:21
he got hit on the head with a bottle for01:24:26
weeks, he’s already been knocked out in the hospital for weeks, he’s01:24:30
still sober, he turned out to be a01:24:32
gram, he’s healing quickly, his height was accurately01:24:36
measured, meter fifty-six01:24:41
composer01:24:43
and how were the girls supposed to know the gang01:24:45
the tunnel and the composer now you can’t tell the difference between01:24:48
how many cases then the grandmother here recently01:24:51
received a pension, she quickly ran to the01:24:54
store across the park to see her, two01:24:56
rapists ask where01:24:59
the library is,01:25:02
the grandmother takes out her little wallet,01:25:05
all her hair has dried up these days, her hands are01:25:09
shaking, she takes out her wallet from her wallet,01:25:12
a spray can, a cap,01:25:15
they kick the bull, they01:25:17
understood you, but it01:25:21
could have ended badly, I’ll01:25:23
run away, I’m a maniac that's enough for me now01:25:28
I crossed myself and then the table01:25:31
I dodged his head from all summer bam01:25:35
and01:25:36
since01:25:38
ding-ding-ding the bell is01:25:40
ringing01:25:42
it saved me he died01:25:46
in the sense of the table01:25:48
beacon I just lost my orientation I forgot01:25:51
where I was running01:25:54
is worth remembering I'm not wasting my time I'm01:25:57
taking it a stone of the earth and how with this stone in01:26:01
his forehead with all his might, he lay down with his leg,01:26:04
tugged a little and then how but what with what will01:26:08
I use01:26:09
the koha of chance to I turned away from him, tear off my hands, wiped it,01:26:14
turning around, there is no one01:26:17
evil spirits behind me, someone put a hand on my01:26:21
shoulder, I turn around, a corpse standing01:26:24
smiling take it please you01:26:27
lost your wallet I call half an hour chasing01:26:33
what kind of people are there there is a man with affairs in the01:26:38
newspapers they wrote was walking somewhere on the shore01:26:40
watching a girl drowning and he himself swam01:26:43
worse than the girl01:26:45
jumped in all his clothes saved he carried him01:26:49
ashore runs up her parents their faces are01:26:51
not burning she is being treated here, she swims01:26:55
with the dolphins from them and it’s easier why did01:26:58
you, I brought the dolphins out of the water,01:27:01
he also saved them, they are lying01:27:04
on the shore, drying,01:27:07
but the parents and their child saved them,01:27:11
instead of thank you, they almost killed him, what kind of people are there,01:27:15
I immediately said to my benefactor,01:27:18
excuse me, shiva to me hit the head01:27:20
accidentally with all my might, but it’s okay,01:27:24
my face is like that, I’m used to it already,01:27:27
it’s Gulnary’s composer, he and I am a01:27:31
composer, and he went and didn’t even01:27:35
have time to say thank you, then I think that thank you,01:27:37
people are different, you must first01:27:40
see if everything is in place in your wallet and01:27:43
how many times I see my wallet01:27:48
was new and this old one is not my wallet in01:27:52
this 15,000 rubles I had 16 rubles01:27:56
like my wallet is red they say blue01:28:01
again it seems dumb and then my conscience tells01:28:04
me don’t disgrace yourself, return the person not01:28:08
far gone to her ghoul but I’ll catch up later01:28:12
then I have a place thank you and didn’t bother01:28:15
to catch up with him osho how many cases then people are01:28:18
all different01:28:21
[applause]01:28:26
here dating someone over 70 and01:28:31
where can you go alone the terrible melancholy01:28:35
the main thing is to have a heart-to-heart talk with no one about01:28:38
politics there about football well and the flesh01:28:41
suffers01:28:43
unwashed crumpled01:28:46
half-starved01:28:48
signed up 50 rubles the01:28:52
old women took it as the price went up01:28:58
they said for that no you can find01:29:01
a treasure01:29:03
the club is open 6 to 8 pm01:29:06
that after eight many fall asleep01:29:11
came the large hall music plays buffet01:29:15
works lemonade cookies validol01:29:22
chairs along the walls on the left sit treasures on the01:29:26
right their seekers01:29:29
rivals my enemies01:29:33
I didn’t like them right away,01:29:35
I decided she was toothless, he was01:29:39
accused in the corner of an orderly, he sits there01:29:43
just in case01:29:44
someone reciprocates01:29:48
heart attacks, ready,01:29:50
well, Savitar has a hand01:29:53
if she or he turns out to be somewhat deaf,01:29:57
there is a mouthpiece for all occasions,01:30:00
diapers, enemas,01:30:06
treasure, dressed, who is poorer, who is01:30:09
richer01:30:10
but everyone in felt boots and sweaters01:30:14
looked at them in short and felt so sorry for me01:30:19
50 steering wheel and01:30:24
rushed to the orderly he rock we won’t return the money for the life of us,01:30:31
everyone is sitting talking and the01:30:34
hip joints are01:30:37
rhombus with01:30:38
bilateral pneumonia01:30:41
the music stopped the lecturer came out gave a01:30:46
lecture on memory loss01:30:50
well read on himself too old at the01:30:53
end forgot everything01:30:57
started talking about the benefits of01:30:59
contraceptives01:31:03
only got melancholy at01:31:08
half past six the searchers' dances began, the01:31:11
best part of humanity,01:31:15
as they believe, at the funeral birons01:31:20
rushed to sort out the treasure in01:31:23
two or three places, it came to a fight01:31:25
and01:31:26
luck was only for the one for whom God did not get the01:31:30
cutest the smallest If01:31:33
something happens, less will be spent on food and clothes,01:31:36
we dance, everything is fine, but01:31:39
I don’t know what to talk to her about and I started talking there myself, you01:31:42
know what’s interesting, you won’t believe it01:31:45
yesterday, my blood pressure was one hundred and01:31:48
sixty over 90,01:31:50
I think in vain I contacted01:31:54
the patient and there’s01:31:56
nothing to talk about besides the pressure01:31:59
urgently I’ll cut off the connection01:32:01
I’ll say the last compliments I’ll cut off01:32:04
I pressed her to myself and in vain01:32:08
my help now I can’t tear her away01:32:13
but there’s nowhere to retreat I say what’s your01:32:17
name semi-goddess01:32:20
she snuggled even tighter even I thought to01:32:25
hell with her fertilizer she01:32:27
snuggled up and said my name is Ivan01:32:30
Fedorovich01:32:38
good music ran out01:32:42
in the advertisement they say never01:32:45
lose hope01:32:48
swindlers an hour I wish I was somewhere kebab01:32:52
for 50 rubles01:32:54
that purpose tarot announce a white dance I was01:32:58
invited by a woman of average build01:33:01
dances well but very active by01:33:04
hello without what is your name he immediately says01:33:08
what your pension is01:33:12
I think what's your business and I have good pensions,01:33:18
so I'm dancing but I'm silent,01:33:21
maybe she wants to add together her01:33:24
small pension with my big one, she's01:33:28
again, but still, old man, what kind of pensions are those, wow, you know how to01:33:32
cook, I know how to cook,01:33:36
but I'll cook it myself, not for them,01:33:40
why can't I01:33:43
your pension me two thousand rubles and and01:33:46
how the wind blew away my01:33:49
mood in the end it deteriorated01:33:51
I wanted to buy wine good snacks01:33:55
expensive only 50 rubles01:33:58
and forget forever and in general about everyone the01:34:00
old woman Sarah cannot be found so that she ate little,01:34:03
worked a lot and then two dances with01:34:07
danced 1 cooks good, but the doctors forbade her from doing laundry01:34:12
2 she cooks and washes, but she can’t iron, she can’t01:34:16
lift the iron, it’s01:34:17
also not good for me, and I went home and on01:34:22
the way out I ran into one woman, that is, how can I01:34:25
run into her? She’s a little01:34:27
taller than me, but at least three times heavier,01:34:30
it was she who ran into me and me I just flew about01:34:34
five meters to the side,01:34:37
I’m lying on the floor, I look at her and I think, but this is how it01:34:41
will get there, and you can’t feed love and a hedgehog, I’m01:34:44
glad that she didn’t notice that she01:34:47
collided with me and then I see that she’s coming towards01:34:50
me, I wanted to shout get lost, evil01:34:54
spirits, she couldn’t. she is already nearby,01:34:57
an unexpected joy will come, death01:35:01
will be instant,01:35:03
this tower from Omsk came up and01:35:07
bent down and said in a human01:35:09
voice,01:35:11
excuse me for God’s sake, I’m at the match from Dogwood01:35:14
Spartak Zenit, I completely forgot that today01:35:17
you are broadcasting football I01:35:19
love cooking wash and iron I love01:35:23
grief I have the pension is very decent, but I01:35:26
live far away, I won’t have time for the broadcast and01:35:28
generally talk about football or01:35:31
something else spiritually low, I live nearby,01:35:33
come to me01:35:35
guys, never lose hope, even01:35:39
if you go to the club, anyone over 12001:35:46
[applause]01:35:50
sat down yesterday his wife’s wife and didn’t like it,01:35:53
she immediately choked,01:35:57
usually not right away, but then right away01:36:00
where else he told me, swallowing in pieces,01:36:03
that you’re like a wolf, that you’re in a hurry, we’re01:36:06
not expecting anyone today, he01:36:08
just said the bell rang, the door came up quietly01:36:11
and the wife asks who they did01:36:14
n’t let in from there to spend the night and we live01:36:18
in the center of Moscow on the sixth floor,01:36:22
the wife was dumbfounded, but after five minus three01:36:25
finals she asks who was not allowed to spend01:36:28
the night there, kind people, like the old days, they01:36:30
knocked on the first hut they came across, they01:36:32
were let in by strangers,01:36:36
we don’t have a peephole, but by the voice of a man of about forty, his face01:36:39
gangster01:36:41
two meters tall01:36:46
thrush of days they propped up the game with the first one01:36:48
they came across and the door on the first floor and you01:36:52
climbed to 6 I chose where they will probably01:36:56
let you in God bless you and01:36:58
your children it’s a pity to look at your wife but01:37:01
she pulled herself together and crossed herself three01:37:03
times asking who’s01:37:08
not there they let me spend the night, I’ll come back with01:37:11
pleasure, they’d let me in like in the old days,01:37:13
but we can’t open the door, the lock is broken,01:37:16
drive a taxi, but now we have to break it,01:37:18
let me help01:37:20
you, there’s not a blood on your face,01:37:22
but with the last of your strength I was going to ask01:37:25
who01:37:27
the traveler is, who are you and why? They didn’t let me spend01:37:31
the night, she slid down along the wall to the01:37:34
floor, she fell silent, we’re talking about the bed, water, we have01:37:37
cholera01:37:40
[applause] it’s01:37:41
very good, just cholera, I’ve already01:37:43
had cholera,01:37:45
let me in for Christ’s sake, my wife didn’t understand,01:37:48
she asks me who he’s from Christ,01:37:52
tell me, we don’t know this01:37:58
one, she got up something - how01:38:00
the mother in the coffin, the spitting image of herself, stood up on her feet,01:38:04
only opened her eyes, one looked to the01:38:06
left, the other up, asked who the01:38:09
belated traveler would be to come to you and why they did01:38:13
n’t let him spend the night, the wanderer and the01:38:15
knapsack were considered a knife,01:38:20
and then I see for life as if someone was01:38:23
splashing living water, he says they01:38:25
didn’t hang old locks on the doors, people were kinder, more01:38:27
honest than you, to spend the night or something, and01:38:31
her face brightened up and she said, dear,01:38:34
good person, it would be a pleasure, even if there was no01:38:37
one at home,01:38:43
the people and the government met here,01:38:47
and we01:38:49
also hadn’t seen each other for a long time if we hadn’t01:38:53
collided they wouldn’t have recognized each other01:38:55
at the station, they would have collided by chance,01:38:58
the people blinked, but the queue at Jimmy Mka did01:39:01
n’t whistle comrades from childhood01:39:04
together, what did they do together, it’s01:39:06
a shame to remember the01:39:07
government also didn’t have glasses, and01:39:10
he has plus 9 vision in the distance, he01:39:14
sees well in the distance01:39:15
better than all the governments, those are so slightly01:39:19
ahead and this is right up to 2000, she sees01:39:23
what’s going on nearby and doesn’t distinguish, of course,01:39:26
also besides it’s passed, but she recognized the amount with her nose,01:39:31
but the amount, like a shibanet, suddenly thinks something a01:39:34
familiar spirit, not the people lim, well, it’s definitely him, and01:39:38
who do I see, and who do I see, is it you that’s the01:39:43
drawbar you're in trouble,01:39:44
I'm a referendum, they're standing on your head with a01:39:49
happy soul and smiling, and01:39:53
talk like oil, it's good for them01:39:56
to get there, how are the children there, tea, nothing like yours, like your01:40:01
aunt Mordred,01:40:05
and also nothing, thank you, kindness, brother himself,01:40:10
what's your health, how's your health, he'll01:40:14
grab a horse, run from the general you are at home and01:40:16
in what area does it hurt in everyone in Donetsk01:40:20
it hurts in Ryazan you are nothing smooth01:40:25
there is only an appearance the nerves are shaken almost01:40:29
where there is trouble right away I’m in shock I01:40:31
can’t move my arm or leg good01:40:34
good such things such things you got married,01:40:39
what? that someone goes for me without ports, but01:40:43
what about you, why,01:40:48
well, okay,01:40:51
I go to one here, robs until the last minute,01:40:55
before I knew that her name is lotteries01:40:58
for money, what can’t you promise?01:41:06
you know,01:41:09
the dictatorship01:41:10
is not this Sen'jin proletariat, it's not that you01:41:15
don't remember and don't remember, no one01:41:18
knows, she's been sick since the first day, sits in01:41:21
the corner, is silent with just the name himself for her,01:41:23
all the deeds and all the good himself, good good such01:41:27
deeds such deeds in the courtyards, it01:41:31
would be best for them to get time to skip 100 grams and01:41:33
where can you get everything they closed and you can get something to01:41:36
eat there is nothing to eat around the ball roll01:41:38
and sprinkle on the table and the01:41:41
government met someone else and the01:41:43
people’s electric was so01:41:45
late and they didn’t really talk, they ran away and01:41:48
this is to say, everyone’s own life01:41:51
began,01:41:59
well, a little from notebooks01:42:02
they say if you stop stealing, then we’ll live01:42:06
better, it’s clear to a fool how to01:42:09
stop there, we were01:42:11
in front of everyone, we ended up behind everyone,01:42:14
nothing strange, we just walked in the wrong01:42:17
direction,01:42:19
we argue a lot, let’s free them, with us, the01:42:22
difference is small, with them, live as you want, with01:42:26
us, as you want, that’s how we live,01:42:31
people We just have to blurt out that in the01:42:35
eighties they promised communism and01:42:37
now it’s already 90 and where is it if now in01:42:41
the nineties we live under socialism then in01:42:44
comparison with it communism was just 80 we01:42:55
were supposed to take place today the transfer of01:42:58
power to the people did not take place today the01:43:02
transfers were not accepted the01:43:10
dream01:43:12
of inventing I wish I would lubricate my hands with anti-alcohol ointment; I01:43:14
hold the instrument and the glass01:43:17
slips out;01:43:19
cultural exchange; they give us horror films;01:43:23
we tell them the news of the day;01:43:26
to problems with furniture; do-it-yourself set;01:43:29
time it turns out to be a coffin;01:43:40
the world is01:43:43
red white yes I decided to interrupt it01:43:46
all called life and mortality everything we have01:43:49
somehow through this01:43:54
stump deck01:43:55
to the doctor came to the neurologist brew01:43:59
doctor the neighbors are so noisy that my legs01:44:02
began to twitch at the very base01:44:06
he asks what else you don’t like in your01:44:10
homeland and01:44:13
I’m doomed and I don’t like that when I’m walking around my01:44:17
homeland01:44:20
alone or in a crowd and a head flies past,01:44:24
it definitely hits me01:44:28
[music]01:44:29
Dr. Garrett then there’s only one way out more01:44:32
positive emotions01:44:34
travel around the world01:44:38
ostrich racing01:44:41
striptease in general all sorts of spectacle01:44:45
spectacle me TV eating01:44:49
with my mouth and try to turn it on and01:44:53
I turned it on, looked about vampires,01:44:57
how they suck blood from people, about01:45:01
the dead, how they crawl out of their graves at night01:45:03
and later the road patrol and01:45:08
those who were broken into pieces, in short,01:45:11
how are you about life? I calmed down,01:45:15
went to inquire about the roads,01:45:18
coffins are more expensive than any medicine,01:45:22
but I had success it turned out I got on01:45:25
sale01:45:27
the prices are 30 percent lower than usual for 101:45:31
season I’m over I don’t know01:45:34
I bought a lid01:45:36
for the coffin The silicone wasn’t enough I01:45:39
brought it home I put it in my apartment for a01:45:43
month I don’t see any of the neighbors I don’t01:45:45
hear01:45:47
[music] that’s01:45:48
how our life leads to death and the01:45:52
death of life is all through01:45:55
the stump I bought two more lids and bought01:46:00
one and put one on at work01:46:03
so that no one would interfere with the second matayev01:46:07
everywhere01:46:08
[music] it’s01:46:10
very convenient01:46:12
on the bus you always sit down, they give up your seat, it’s01:46:17
unpleasant to sit and there’s a coffin lid above you01:46:22
in a restaurant it’s interesting to put a care lid01:46:25
they serve you quickly, they01:46:27
also give you a tip, well, for the little things,01:46:32
you cross the road to any light, you will01:46:36
give away the gear, you will always find shelter in the market,01:46:39
it’s easier to bargain,01:46:41
how many actions do I have, I only have01:46:43
thousands of slaves, you01:46:46
won’t take anything, thank you for the purchase, but01:46:50
take a break, wash the day, stop,01:46:52
put the lid in it they start serving01:46:56
racketeering tried to run over two01:46:59
big guys came up and opened the lid and I have01:47:01
a sign there this is for you01:47:04
[music]01:47:05
I advise everyone to buy a01:47:08
coffin lid it will be easier to live and01:47:10
if something happens we can unite01:47:13
imagine on the main street01:47:15
the demonstration is going on with coffins,01:47:18
that is, as it were we say mountain to boom01:47:21
such a life and then the01:47:23
authorities will immediately fuss about them before01:47:26
life there is no respect before death there is01:47:29
it all through this room.01:47:37
I used to live well, just last week I lived01:47:40
well, the rooms were small but01:47:43
square, the communal cafes across the street from the house were01:47:47
very cheap, they were always cleaner, they were always01:47:50
free, no one went there except me, I01:47:54
lived well, it’s a sin to complain, and suddenly01:47:57
it’s announced from somewhere, you know who someone is01:48:00
doing, it’s unknown, I’m on fire I’m01:48:03
buying your whole house, I like it here, spread it out,01:48:06
scattered it, I rested it there, I liked it there too,01:48:09
the main thing is I knew the law on my01:48:12
side, and even someone’s assistant said the01:48:15
law is on your side, on ours, only the01:48:18
money came to the police a couple of days later,01:48:20
3 prostitutes01:48:22
said that I was their pimp01:48:25
one grandmother complained that I was with her in a01:48:28
perverted form and here she was given a01:48:31
Wushu certificate I am a hereditary drunkard from the01:48:35
veterinary service and I torture cockroaches01:48:37
from the room I was evicted, what does the law mean01:48:41
and what does money mean when the law is01:48:44
small and the money is big01:48:46
I was evicted at 6 in the morning everyone01:48:49
had a place to go to work01:48:52
good pay little but constantly01:48:55
constantly in November for February01:48:58
in December zaman01:49:01
main job dust-free01:49:03
sewerage where the01:49:05
dust comes from there are01:49:08
no special forms but you can still01:49:10
feel the show in the sewerage works01:49:13
the person you01:49:14
want a bottle of French perfume was on01:49:17
yourself anyway you can tell everything oh, somehow01:49:20
connected with the sewerage, maybe they will only be01:49:23
surprised that it’s connected with the French01:49:25
sewerage system,01:49:27
good job, it’s a sin to complain at 7 o’clock,01:49:31
someone came to the office there with an assistant,01:49:34
we now have 51 percent of all shares in all01:49:38
sewers and we don’t need it,01:49:42
I’m talking about our legal the state01:49:45
has a labor code there is a labor01:49:48
agreement the01:49:49
law is on my side they are burning the law is on01:49:52
your side only our money01:49:54
in an hour the office burned down there are no codes01:49:58
left no agreements left I’m standing on the street01:50:01
I think you’ll go or hang yourself for a change the01:50:05
road began to cross the green light01:50:08
along the zebra crossing and then a car hit me in the01:50:12
car, someone with an assistant was lying on the01:50:15
asphalt, I think fate smiled on me,01:50:18
now they certainly can’t get away with it, and01:50:21
the law is on my side, and the Kuchin leaders, a01:50:23
policeman came running too, said lie down,01:50:26
don’t be afraid of anything, the law is on your side, the01:50:29
place where I was hit was marked with my01:50:32
four teeth, don’t draw up a01:50:35
report like that, three steps have reached, remember that01:50:38
you forgot to measure the brake mark,01:50:40
we came back, we look at the teeth, there are no marks in our01:50:44
hands, but the constitution also says that01:50:47
this is not allowed,01:50:48
the policeman throws up the witnesses with his hands,01:50:51
there is not a single one, everyone has disappeared somewhere, someone01:50:53
tells us he I broke the odds,01:50:55
it costs 1000 dollars, we01:50:59
have to work for her for free for half a day, they brought01:51:02
me to court, they are higher and 8 by 2 hospitals01:51:05
in the cemetery, then to us the background is to wear the law01:51:08
and what does the money of hospitals mean, we got01:51:11
good money, only 20 people in the ward, the toilet is01:51:15
shared, but the01:51:17
diagnosis is paid good, two hidden fractures, three01:51:21
open, the doctor said that we can be saved,01:51:23
only the operation cannot be postponed for a01:51:26
second, and just at that second he01:51:28
brings someone with an assistant, they01:51:31
liked our room, everyone was transferred to the01:51:33
corridor, I got stuck, why should I actually01:51:36
move with five fractures, that01:51:39
I am Suvorov01:51:41
transitions to make there the prosecutor was lying01:51:44
general in the past now the homeless man01:51:48
said all the laws are on your side and and01:51:52
while behind the wheel not just anywhere but in a01:51:55
state of law we are lying dying01:51:57
here at any government they will find here01:52:01
the anesthesiologist came said calm down01:52:03
smell Katya and I brought it to you01:52:07
I smelled it and stared once fell asleep soundly woke01:52:10
up fresh and cheerful rejuvenated01:52:14
in the corridor and01:52:16
settled down in the corridor well it’s a sin01:52:19
to complain01:52:20
without a mattress but on the bed the01:52:22
place is not very bright but in the very01:52:25
draft the01:52:26
attending physician comes up the operation01:52:29
is postponed firstly they forgot to take01:52:31
tests from you for dandruff01:52:34
secondly both operating rooms busy in01:52:36
one someone in the other his assistant I01:52:39
ask the law on whose side he is the mountains01:52:42
the law is on your side I realized that this is01:52:44
bad01:52:46
ask a long time ago the operation began a long time ago the doctor the01:52:49
type of operation is in full swing I used all the01:52:52
remaining money to buy twenty rubles from01:52:56
a neighbor for 30 seconds mobile call01:52:58
dialed rolls from said that according to the law they01:53:02
cannot turn off01:53:03
the electricity from hospitals vibration carcasses need01:53:06
light and swore at them the light was immediately turned off01:53:10
what the law means and what does the ruble01:53:14
twenty mean01:53:22
[music] [music]01:53:46
a01:53:47
[music]01:53:53
[music]01:54:13
[music ]Description:
🎗Памяти сатирика🎗 О вечном: О Любви... О Пьянстве... О ворвстве... Автор: Анатолий Трушкин Исполнитель: Анатолий Трушкин Год сборки: 2021 🤡😘Российский прозаик, сценарист, сатирик, редактор, юморист и телеведущий Анатолий Трушкин. К огромному сожалению его уже нет, он умер от короновирусной инфекции в июне 2020 года. Писатель выступал сам и работал над материалами для других известных артистов: Михаила Евдокимова, Ефима Шифрина, Яна Арлазорова, Владимира Винокура и других. 00:00 Анатолий Трушкин - 1 апреля (Розыгрыш) 03:34 Анатолий Трушкин - Агентство галантность 07:30 Анатолий Трушкин - Ангел 11:10 Анатолий Трушкин - Атракцион 15:41 Анатолий Трушкин - Бестолочь 21:11 Анатолий Трушкин - Благородный человек 26:57 Анатолий Трушкин - В субботу утром 31:53 Анатолий Трушкин - Внутренний голос 37:49 Анатолий Трушкин - Вот такая беда 41:58 Анатолий Трушкин - Встреча 45:49 Анатолий Трушкин - Гений 52:59 Анатолий Трушкин - Особенности национальной охоты (Два охотника) 55:59 Анатолий Трушкин - Дездемона 01:01:23 Анатолий Трушкин - Дождались 01:03:56 Анатолий Трушкин - Дрынолет 01:10:07 Анатолий Трушкин - Завещание 01:16:29 Анатолий Трушкин - И жить, и чувствовать 01:20:09 Анатолий Трушкин - Как разбогатеть 01:23:09 Анатолий Трушкин - Какие люди есть 01:28:26 Анатолий Трушкин - Клуб знакомств 01:35:49 Анатолий Трушкин - Кто там? 01:38:43 Анатолий Трушкин - Встреча + Записная книга(1990г) 01:43:38 Анатолий Трушкин - Жизнь и смерть 01:47:36 Анатолий Трушкин - Закон и деньги Смотрите также плейлисты других артистов: 🤡 Лучшие сборники юмора: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxngyvelpJJYbzP2SPCZcQWTg 👴 Анатолий Трушкин: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxng7NHcDQrNWcpD2WFKTSmMw 🤠 Игорь Маменко: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnjHluxZLDyev-l4nxuqLpBA 👩 Светлана Рожкова: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxngB8iDUyv0r8SIXkuHnU5on 👨 Ефим Шифрин: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxngzNtTYbPCIUW53KG_FXgNi 👩❤️👩 Новые Русские Бабки: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnhA9QS9zsB0BUctQWNgGiJf 👱 Аркадий Райкин: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxngohNxQ_EWP1mJh9b8qzwag 👨🦳 Владимир Винокур: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnhL8EhBPIjxvt_V0koYBWvC 💁♂️ Виктор Коклюшкин: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnjQCTAuahN8iNFuSP92-mAj 👧 Елена Воробей: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnhhODCXKcKxyT60xuICULOi 👨🎤 Сергей Дроботенко: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnihKiK0oL91ggcVNWk-6dfz 🤵 Михаил Евдокимов: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxniz602HwSPzNWYNTBGxdBB3 🕵️♂️ Святослав Ещенко: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxngnGgtFDXMuP7yfgfeYfe3I 👲 Обид Асомов: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrPdzMVdJxnjcTyX8ybXP_aG4zgFphBRb
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