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"videoThumbnail Krieg, "toxische Männlichkeit" und das Meckern | Psychiater Dr. Hans-Joachim Maaz

4:11

Was führt eine Gesellschaft in den Krieg?

10:40

Wird der Krieg gebraucht?

14:14

Wie konnte die russische Gesellschaft in den Krieg geführt werden?

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Der Begriff "toxische Männlichkeit" – Können Männer das Mannsein noch ausleben?

25:20

Leben wir in einem Patriarchat?

29:05

Das Feminine und Maskuline

33:50

Sind wir alle Narzissten?

39:57

Die Mecker-Gesellschaft oder warum jammern wir?

48:20

Ist die Leistungsgesellschaft per se schlecht?

55:20

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Der fehlende Part

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00:00:00

Hello, I'm Jasmin kosebeck and I

00:00:02

like to talk to interesting people

00:00:04

about interesting things. If you

00:00:06

want to support my channel, you're welcome to do so.

00:00:08

All information is in the description below and

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otherwise leave me a subscription because I know

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some of you watch my videos and

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aren't subscribed to it It doesn't cost anything

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and it helps me a lot and that's

00:00:17

enough from me. Welcome or

00:00:19

no, actually it's better otherwise. Hello, I

00:00:22

'm here in Halle with Hans-joachim Martz, a

00:00:24

psychiatrist The

00:00:30

most famous book came

00:00:33

out in 1990, another book, the wrong life,

00:00:36

the narcissistic society of the

00:00:39

Lillis completely

00:00:42

and very recently they were awarded the mind

00:00:44

award, which I perceived as a very

00:00:47

nice prize that goes

00:00:49

to people who are committed to education,

00:00:50

awareness, art and peace,

00:00:52

others Prize winners were, for example, Dr

00:00:54

Daniele Ganser or pastor and

00:00:56

publicist Jürgen Fliege and they won

00:00:59

this prize this year, it was a nice

00:01:01

thing so when we got here briefly

00:01:05

they told me they

00:01:07

would be 80 next year and that they

00:01:10

were a bit sad about it the

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current situation in Germany and

00:01:15

not resigned but a bit

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pessimistic I have always

00:01:20

said a bit ironically bitterly I am

00:01:24

lucky to be able to live between two wars

00:01:26

so

00:01:28

impressed by the consequences of the Second

00:01:31

World War I was only 43 and was born

00:01:34

from the former Sudetenland

00:01:37

Expelled, the parents never recovered from

00:01:40

these

00:01:42

traumas and then in my youth

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the argument about how

00:01:48

war could come about, why does an entire people

00:01:50

enthusiastically go to war, that's what I

00:01:52

experienced, yes

00:01:53

and that has never

00:01:55

left me, the psychodynamics of what has to happen

00:01:59

What happens to people is that they believe

00:02:01

there is a solution and I was

00:02:04

convinced that it is really

00:02:06

possible to bring it to people and

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always like that in my books I have

00:02:15

described things that actually have a

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bitter then actually become real

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so false life narcissistic

00:02:25

society the fear society but

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I have It's always written like that, people,

00:02:30

look at it, you'll find yourself

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in it, a bit like

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banishing the fact that it's not really

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happening in reality and now I have to experience

00:02:41

that there is already

00:02:43

at least one policy in Germany that

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supports the war, that's what you're with

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The second war is now

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the Ukraine war, so

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there are always wars all over the world and now, above all,

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the Ukraine war in which

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Germany is actually very heavily

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involved. The fact that

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weapons are being delivered instead of

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choosing diplomacy is

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frightening and frightening to me A saying like that with

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our weapons we save lives

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it becomes absurd for me yes that how can

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so every pistol every rifle is there to

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kill people yes so yes me

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personally for you so you see that

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as almost a personal

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attack because They were also influenced by the

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expulsion of their parents and I think

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a statement from their grandmother

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who said never again

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to war,

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yes, and personally also because I have been

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interested in the profession of psychiatry, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis since I was a teenager.

00:03:58

What leads people to

00:04:02

war? want to go to war

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what leads a society to go to war

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the psyodynamics of these

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processes has not always been of interest and

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I

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am convinced that I

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have a lot to say about what comes

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must come for that to happen but that it is

00:04:27

not assumed that is What is not

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understood is that this is not

00:04:31

taken into account, that basically there

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has to be a specific problem in the souls of individual people in order for them to

00:04:43

become war-solvers and that is

00:04:45

my first book, the

00:04:48

emotional jam, which is pent-up feelings,

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often aggressive feelings from

00:04:55

earlier in developmental psychology

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Injury to early traumatization

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that is not allowed to be expressed,

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the child is not allowed to really

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protest and call out their bad parents

00:05:07

or their bad teacher or something like that, then

00:05:10

they are disciplined and this build-up of emotions

00:05:14

makes people sick. This is a

00:05:17

main topic in psychotherapy when

00:05:19

you ask why people become

00:05:21

depressed or have psychosomatic

00:05:23

complaints always have something to do with the

00:05:26

emotional state and

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anyone who doesn't get sick

00:05:32

is almost

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obliged to

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express their feelings socially, but then I

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ask myself.

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From my point of view, a

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distinction should be made between those who

00:05:47

are responsible and those who are

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can actually make decisions such as

00:05:51

whether arms deliveries

00:05:52

will take place, yes or no, and then from

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my point of view the collective society

00:05:56

if you can generalize it like that.

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I know there are also a lot

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of different movements

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within society

00:06:03

that somehow go along with

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others again not so who is

00:06:09

traumatized then the decision-makers are

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all of us I recognize I

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sometimes don't understand how then how can this

00:06:18

then be transferred to the general public

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if only a

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few

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actually make these decisions so this

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differentiation has to be

00:06:29

who leads to war, so as

00:06:33

political decision-makers these have to be examined in a

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special way,

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criticized, perhaps

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even prosecuted if

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you practically order a war where

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thousands of hundreds of thousands

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can then go to war and be harmed

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and yes,

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unfortunately, these things do exist The fact that

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many people

00:07:03

are then brought up to obey

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and obey

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and reluctantly but we know if

00:07:15

you think about it in the Third Reich

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whose deserter was also shot,

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yes it is a

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life-threatening story so

00:07:25

that people yes but what happened today

00:07:29

is that it is not There is enough outcry,

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so I think the

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masses should be on the streets and

00:07:37

say and call for an end to the war,

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we want to negotiate, we want

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diplomacy, we want the background

00:07:44

to be discussed, negotiated

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and resolved, so one

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argument is that Ukraine is a

00:07:52

has the right to defend itself because they

00:07:54

were attacked, yes

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you can see it that way,

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but you also have to see the whole

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history.

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I have the impression that it is a

00:08:06

war that the USA is waging against Russia

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and Ukraine is right in the middle of it

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and maybe even completely So Europe

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is thinking a little too briefly, yes,

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that no one

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has to defend themselves, that's of course a

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good right, but it doesn't clarify

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the background of how

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this war came about and, so to speak,

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you can't even

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ask about it anymore The blame on

00:08:39

which side is then clearly

00:08:42

assigned to the Russians and this basically

00:08:48

blocks the basis for negotiations. It will no longer be

00:08:51

possible and I think that

00:08:53

it is a serious threat

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if

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diplomacy is no longer an

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option in another society is no longer the aim,

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but first of all weapons weapons

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weapons violence then for me that is a

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huge threat to the whole

00:09:13

society and ultimately to peace in general,

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which I

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find interesting at this point because

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I have already done that myself,

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the whole history

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of it was able to get to this point at all

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and of course I was also

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influenced by my work at RT and

00:09:31

then got to know any facts from

00:09:34

the side.

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What I then had to self-critically

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realize is that I had this

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history in the many other

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wars, for example took place in the Middle

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East,

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so it was

00:09:47

always clear, okay, the culprit

00:09:50

was NATO, the USA and so on, and

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the prehistory was

00:09:53

n't really of interest and now here in

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Ukraine I find the

00:09:58

prehistory argument interesting

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is always highlighted so well, because it is

00:10:03

no longer discussed at all, it

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appears in the public

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media,

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the importance

00:10:13

of the prehistory is, in my opinion, from the

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Maidan movement onwards, at least there is

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certainly a much older

00:10:21

prehistory that is no longer discussed,

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it is a matter of course now It's just the

00:10:26

injustice of the Russians that

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of course has to be confirmed. Yes,

00:10:31

waging war is always an injustice, so there

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's nothing to trivialize, but

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at the moment it seems as if

00:10:42

war is also needed or

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wanted, which is

00:10:49

n't that surprising to me is because

00:10:53

in the development

00:10:56

of our society, i.e. narcissistic

00:10:58

society, false life, I have come to the

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conclusion that the

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majority of people living today live

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false lives and

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not according to their own needs

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and abilities and limitations,

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but rather they had to learn

00:11:18

how to live very early on In order to

00:11:20

get recognition, the

00:11:23

parents tell us yes, you're good, my child,

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the teachers are happy, good performance and

00:11:27

so on. This creates something for a

00:11:31

majority of the children

00:11:36

that the children no longer

00:11:39

know who they are, what they want, what they

00:11:43

can and what they don't want what they ca

00:11:45

n't but they had to then

00:11:47

what they should they have to

00:11:49

fulfill expectations so they are no longer

00:11:51

in real contact with themselves in their

00:11:54

own lives and we also know that in

00:11:57

psychotherapy that

00:11:59

self-perception is difficult for many people

00:12:01

is blocked so they are externally

00:12:03

oriented

00:12:05

because they had to learn early on what should

00:12:08

I do how should I behave aha

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and then I get recognition or

00:12:12

to secure a good life or that's why you have each other

00:12:16

and

00:12:19

wrong lives have to come into crisis

00:12:22

is clear it is no natural, no

00:12:24

real life anymore

00:12:25

and in therapy we experience this

00:12:30

all the time, so actually with every

00:12:32

patient who comes in with a painful

00:12:34

condition but is now depressed

00:12:36

or has anxiety or has stomach pain

00:12:39

and back pain that are psychosomatically

00:12:42

caused,

00:12:43

you soon find out that this

00:12:46

person wrong, so he has

00:12:49

inner conflicts with

00:12:52

himself and what is expected of him

00:12:55

and that is the subject of

00:12:58

psychotherapy to help people find their way out of

00:13:00

this wrong orientation and into a

00:13:02

more genuine, honest one, yes and that

00:13:07

basically only affects a minority of

00:13:10

people

00:13:13

Most people act out of therapy in some way

00:13:15

and in a narcissistic society

00:13:18

the problem is that the

00:13:21

wrong life is successful for a long time

00:13:23

if the wrong life consists of you

00:13:26

have to do more and more better

00:13:28

and better and higher and further

00:13:30

and will do that can get rich, can

00:13:35

earn well, can become known, can

00:13:38

gain power and has the feeling, well, that's

00:13:41

wonderful. I've heard that about

00:13:42

many personalities who then

00:13:45

got into crisis and,

00:13:48

based on their history, their

00:13:50

ability to develop. I had a

00:13:51

nice childhood. It's never true But

00:13:54

first of all, this imagination and

00:13:57

memory: I was successful,

00:13:59

but now unfortunately I have

00:14:01

depression. Now, unfortunately, I have a

00:14:03

heart attack. Only then does

00:14:06

a person start to think about what was actually

00:14:09

wrong. They have now

00:14:11

mentioned many points that I also point out I

00:14:12

would like to go into it again later. I still have a question

00:14:14

regarding the war in

00:14:17

Ukraine. If we

00:14:19

also look at the Russians,

00:14:21

no one really thought it was possible

00:14:22

that Russia

00:14:24

would attack its smaller neighbor and the

00:14:26

population is also Russian not necessarily someone who

00:14:29

wants war, they were brought up completely differently,

00:14:31

also because of the Great

00:14:33

Patriotic War, i.e. the Second

00:14:35

World War, in every small village there is

00:14:38

a victory monument and so this flag

00:14:42

is held up there, which I also have with

00:14:44

my points of contact with Russians and

00:14:46

also with Russia

00:14:48

So you see somehow a

00:14:51

narcissistic society living a false

00:14:53

life or how do you evaluate the fact that such

00:14:55

a country with this history

00:14:58

goes to war and also sends young men

00:15:00

back to war, so if

00:15:02

you ask people in Russia or

00:15:05

elsewhere In Ukraine

00:15:06

in Germany, I think the

00:15:09

majority is not in favor of waging war,

00:15:13

so these are decisions that are

00:15:21

made by the political or economic elites, they are

00:15:24

definitely geopolitical decisions, so it's

00:15:25

about power in the world, so

00:15:28

changes in In the world, this

00:15:32

gap

00:15:33

certainly exists and we

00:15:37

also know that every warring party

00:15:40

outdoes itself in propaganda, so

00:15:43

as soon as there is war you no

00:15:46

longer learn the truth, but it

00:15:50

depends on which side or something like that, so

00:15:52

then it is

00:15:54

somehow defended and excused

00:15:58

or explained Threat has been built up, so

00:16:02

the gap is definitely there between

00:16:05

the responsible political and

00:16:09

economic elite and the mass of the

00:16:11

population, so

00:16:13

there are probably only very few

00:16:16

crazy people, so ultimately there are

00:16:19

psychiatric crazy people who really

00:16:22

like war, they exist too, so I

00:16:25

know in that too In the German media there

00:16:27

is talk about the fact that in

00:16:29

Russia

00:16:30

hundreds of thousands are also leaving or

00:16:33

leaving the country, especially young

00:16:34

men because they are drafted here, have to

00:16:36

be mobilized home and then there are

00:16:38

certain regions in Russia, especially

00:16:41

in

00:16:42

now I have to think about a

00:16:47

certain region for a moment own Chechnya

00:16:49

in this corner where many

00:16:52

have volunteered to go to war,

00:16:53

so there are these young men who go to

00:16:55

war and I don't know if

00:16:57

you've heard this statement before -

00:16:58

a war turns a boy into a

00:17:01

man, so what then say these

00:17:05

people have an insane slogan yes

00:17:08

so no I would actually want to talk to

00:17:13

each and every one about it

00:17:15

or analyze what

00:17:19

how can that be I am convinced that

00:17:22

no human being no healthy human being can

00:17:25

natural human being has the desire for war

00:17:28

so I'm back to that When it comes to the keyword

00:17:31

emotional jam, these are people and

00:17:33

we also have

00:17:36

young men in civilian life who are looking to

00:17:39

get into a fight. What

00:17:42

do you look at and you've got panda face,

00:17:45

so to speak, but in my eyes these are

00:17:48

always mentally ill people In a

00:17:51

certain way, in the emotional jam

00:17:52

that

00:17:54

has an inner burden, insult,

00:17:58

humiliation, early traumatization

00:18:00

and this insult they have

00:18:05

generally not understood and let

00:18:07

alone resolved, so you look for

00:18:09

occasions that are the young men

00:18:12

who provoke, who go out

00:18:15

looking for a fight to react to the build-up of emotions,

00:18:18

yes, and that is of course an

00:18:21

unfortunate undertaking because you

00:18:24

might get rid of aggression for a brief moment,

00:18:27

but it doesn't get rid of the problem

00:18:29

and that's how I explain it to

00:18:32

myself:

00:18:35

young men with this

00:18:37

build-up of weight also like to be in

00:18:39

I clearly remember going to war as a

00:18:41

young psychiatrist,

00:18:43

I still had to deal with men who

00:18:49

had war experiences in captivity, so I

00:18:51

heard sentences like that, the war was

00:18:54

the best time of my life, there were

00:18:59

orders, we could Shooting, murdering,

00:19:03

pillaging, raping

00:19:06

I thought to myself, what's going on? Yes,

00:19:09

these points were really highlighted because

00:19:11

I recently heard an interesting

00:19:12

thing about war and that is

00:19:14

that men, in contrast to women,

00:19:17

actually build connections through

00:19:20

a certain hormone that

00:19:21

is released when they overcome challenges

00:19:23

and women with oxytocin, the hormone

00:19:26

I know, build the connection and

00:19:28

because and that's why you can

00:19:31

also explain why men

00:19:33

who met each other in the war also build this kind of camaraderie

00:19:36

because there is

00:19:37

hardly a challenge like that

00:19:39

to be in a war with

00:19:41

his allies with his

00:19:43

comrades and that's why these

00:19:44

friendships usually

00:19:46

last for decades, so is it really that

00:19:48

they want to murder and rape

00:19:51

or is it that a

00:19:52

unique camaraderie is created there, it's

00:19:56

true that mostly

00:19:59

person what Also distributed is

00:20:02

what naturally

00:20:04

activates masculinity, that is, strength,

00:20:07

power, asserting oneself and so

00:20:10

on and then the crucial

00:20:12

question is how is this socially managed so

00:20:15

is there a command situation or a

00:20:18

social political ideological

00:20:20

environment that says oh you have to do that

00:20:25

if your strength about the enemy that is the

00:20:28

enemy that has to be destroyed or

00:20:31

is said wonderful male

00:20:36

activity with it you can build a lot

00:20:39

and shape the world and

00:20:43

improve it so the question is whether you

00:20:53

use the activity in an evil, destructive or constructive way and that has It has a

00:20:55

lot to do with the social environment, so

00:20:59

the term toxic

00:21:00

masculinity has already come across and that

00:21:03

is also a topic of our time,

00:21:05

the male is the female and

00:21:09

some men also feel under

00:21:12

attack that the male

00:21:14

is categorically described as toxic Then

00:21:17

there are also terms like these old

00:21:18

white men, yes I mean they are also

00:21:20

one as well as completely natural with full

00:21:23

respect but that is a

00:21:26

certain criticism there is a

00:21:29

general criticism of the male

00:21:31

which is then categorically described as toxic

00:21:34

masculinity you see they

00:21:37

observe Do you say that or are you saying that

00:21:40

it's just a fashion right now or is

00:21:42

it perhaps because men actually

00:21:43

no longer have an outlet to express their masculinity and

00:21:46

their testosterone somewhere?

00:21:49

Well, in my opinion it's a

00:21:53

feminist fighting term against men,

00:21:57

which fits in with the ideological direction at the moment

00:22:01

I find it devastating or

00:22:05

or absurd to use such a term all the

00:22:08

time. We have

00:22:11

just talked about the differentiation

00:22:13

that

00:22:15

masculinity in the sense of activity,

00:22:18

strength,

00:22:21

self-assertion

00:22:22

can be used positively or negatively

00:22:26

and that masculinity is now judged from the

00:22:29

outset as something toxic

00:22:33

I think that's

00:22:36

absurd to the point of being evil, so that the

00:22:40

male is being devalued by it. The question

00:22:45

is actually

00:22:47

how could it come about like this, so why

00:22:51

has masculinity, power,

00:22:55

competitiveness, become so

00:22:59

negative in my

00:23:01

eyes because the whole of society, I

00:23:06

'll put it that way Let's use the

00:23:08

term: a toxic

00:23:10

masculinity development has,

00:23:16

for me, a financial capitalist society is an addictive society in the

00:23:19

wrong life where more and more

00:23:25

is more and more profit-oriented and

00:23:28

not on relationships, not on the

00:23:31

feminine.

00:23:32

I'm also careful that

00:23:36

relationships are also something masculine, yes,

00:23:38

so it's more like it's not

00:23:42

[music]

00:23:43

gender-oriented, and the toxic

00:23:46

isn't just male, so if

00:23:49

you wanted to put it like that, there's a lot of

00:23:51

toxic femininity, too, yes, but I

00:23:54

really don't want to use it like that,

00:23:57

but I want to

00:23:59

differentiate

00:24:01

why, so to speak

00:24:04

Strength Strength Activity is discredited

00:24:08

because this society is in an

00:24:11

addictive

00:24:13

undesirable development, i.e. the

00:24:17

society in which we have lived in the last

00:24:19

decades, above all

00:24:21

a capitalist one, a

00:24:23

financial capitalist one in terms of

00:24:26

psyodynamics, a narcissistic one that

00:24:28

wants more and more and therefore has to become addicted

00:24:32

and no longer maintains contact with

00:24:36

nature, naturalness,

00:24:38

humanity and so it is

00:24:42

understandable that suddenly a

00:24:46

negative term

00:24:48

is found that is supposedly used to

00:24:51

explain this, the only

00:24:55

problem is that there is a

00:24:57

division with it, so it is

00:25:00

the old white ones Men who, with this

00:25:05

toxic

00:25:08

toxicity, form a society for no

00:25:11

no, it is basically the

00:25:14

aberration of an entire

00:25:15

society. Yes,

00:25:18

can I then dig in again and

00:25:20

ask if our society is then in

00:25:22

these toxic conditions, which is

00:25:25

also selected for performance, more

00:25:28

greater, faster competition, what

00:25:31

I would say that there

00:25:33

is a tendency towards masculine characteristics.

00:25:35

Yes, we

00:25:38

actually live in a patriarchy, which is

00:25:43

programmed that way by many feminists.

00:25:46

It looks like that from the outside, so there is no

00:25:49

question that

00:25:51

bad masculinity

00:25:57

has dominated

00:26:00

authoritarian societies, totalitarian societies,

00:26:02

i.e. obeying orders

00:26:05

Subjugation of the stronger must

00:26:09

necessarily prevail but these

00:26:11

are

00:26:15

characteristics of a

00:26:17

capitalist society

00:26:19

and the whole

00:26:22

society is involved and for me it is

00:26:26

a question of alienation why

00:26:29

do people do such things

00:26:31

and when I

00:26:34

look at it from a developmental psychology perspective it

00:26:36

is this early

00:26:38

frustration and alienation that you

00:26:42

had to learn what is supposed to be and that is

00:26:46

wrong life and that has to be

00:26:49

exaggerated more and more until it comes to a crisis.

00:26:51

In individual life the

00:26:54

crisis is then suddenly an illness

00:26:55

after you have been able to live well successfully with this wrong attitude to life for 2030 years

00:27:01

and a

00:27:03

society even if, as we are

00:27:06

experiencing now, the environmental damage can no longer be

00:27:09

controlled, the financial issues no

00:27:11

longer work,

00:27:13

the migration problem can no longer be

00:27:17

regulated,

00:27:20

and above all, social

00:27:23

security and humanity are no longer

00:27:26

guaranteed, then that is for me a

00:27:29

sign of the crisis of this

00:27:32

society, it is now

00:27:36

somehow at the end

00:27:38

and we needed a reflection

00:27:42

[music]

00:27:43

yes now if you stick to the concepts

00:27:47

of male and female behavior

00:27:51

I don't want to classify it according to gender,

00:27:54

so there are feminine men

00:27:56

and people who Women and so on but I

00:27:59

want the characteristics because they

00:28:01

also emphasized it so of

00:28:03

course you have to perform but the

00:28:08

question is do you perform out of an inner

00:28:12

need I want to fulfill myself in some way

00:28:15

or out of an

00:28:18

obligation to a task or a

00:28:21

social situation

00:28:24

That's okay, but we live in a

00:28:27

performance society where a

00:28:30

performance success

00:28:33

is called into question if it is not immediately

00:28:34

increased again, which means that

00:28:36

performance becomes an addiction and not

00:28:38

a satisfaction and that is the

00:28:41

significant difference and that is what

00:28:43

many people are advised to do early on easily into this

00:28:48

performance addiction, yes,

00:28:50

that is very important to know, there is

00:28:52

not only alcohol addiction or

00:28:54

overeating or there is also

00:28:57

performance addiction, there is also the

00:28:58

lack of representation

00:29:01

so yes the addiction and just yes so yes

00:29:05

again go into this feminine and

00:29:07

masculine Because I understand

00:29:09

what you mean, there are

00:29:10

of course feminine men and

00:29:12

masculine women, but there are

00:29:14

still certain characteristics that can

00:29:17

be described as feminine and masculine,

00:29:19

so I would say masculine is

00:29:22

very solution-oriented, very

00:29:25

linear,

00:29:26

always on a mission, you need a

00:29:29

task, responsibility or it is that

00:29:31

would be the optimum these are now the

00:29:32

positive characteristics and of course they can

00:29:34

also be reversed into the toxic toxic

00:29:36

from my point of view and with

00:29:39

women it is very much about communication

00:29:40

relationship from very gentle very

00:29:44

it-capable which of course also in

00:29:46

that again It can go negatively, which

00:29:48

can have a lot to do with manipulation.

00:29:52

Would you agree with me that

00:29:54

these classic characteristics for

00:29:56

the feminine and masculine also exist in

00:29:58

a society, simply because there are

00:30:01

also these biological differences

00:30:03

that are essentially hormonal

00:30:08

and there There is the whole range, so there are

00:30:11

men with a lot of

00:30:14

testosterone and with little, there are also

00:30:16

women with quite a lot of testosterone and

00:30:19

so

00:30:21

there is this biological difference

00:30:24

and testosterone, for example, is

00:30:27

of course a hormone that

00:30:30

drives activity or enables it when you it

00:30:33

says positive and

00:30:36

female hormone oxidation, for example,

00:30:39

or yes, it's more for

00:30:44

trust and loving feelings and so

00:30:48

on, it also exists in men,

00:30:49

yes, so

00:30:51

for me it's crazy

00:30:55

if you claim that gender is a

00:30:58

social construction I think it's

00:31:01

perverse and even dangerous. Yes, I find

00:31:04

it interesting because we've now

00:31:05

also talked about biological genders

00:31:06

and that certain

00:31:08

characteristics are simply there and

00:31:10

I completely agree with you. Women

00:31:12

come into the world with a certain package.

00:31:13

Men or boys and girls

00:31:16

come into the world with a certain package to

00:31:17

the world and they now said that

00:31:19

gender is socially constructed, it's

00:31:21

crazy, but isn't it? I dare to

00:31:25

express this thesis that it's not

00:31:27

just socially constructed, so a

00:31:29

certain proportion, for example, that

00:31:30

women now absolutely think pink is great

00:31:33

I would say that it could actually

00:31:37

be socially constructed and influenced in some way but that

00:31:40

women tend to prefer community

00:31:41

communication and

00:31:44

I would say it is

00:31:47

biological so it is then the

00:31:50

question to what percentage or so

00:31:52

what are you born with and what becomes

00:32:03

In my experience, the absurd dispute that has arisen through which society has constructed that one could change one's gender at will is

00:32:06

justified by this, if one leaves the

00:32:08

ideological madness

00:32:11

completely aside, because this

00:32:14

biological

00:32:17

determination of gender in

00:32:19

different ways So there are

00:32:21

men with few male hormones and with a lot of

00:32:25

male hormones and women as well, so

00:32:27

first of all there are the biological

00:32:30

differences and now

00:32:32

basically the social environment comes into play. So

00:32:36

for me, gender or

00:32:37

personal rights, even better said, is

00:32:39

always a combination of genetics

00:32:43

is then called the communities and social

00:32:47

experiences and

00:32:49

developmental psychology and this is how

00:32:51

the diversity of personal

00:32:54

differences arises in the end: very feminine

00:32:56

men or very masculine women everything

00:32:59

in between everything everything in between yes and

00:33:01

that's actually what makes them so beautiful and so

00:33:03

exciting yes that's just that you You

00:33:06

can't say that is more male, that is

00:33:08

female, but that you can value every person

00:33:12

according to their possibilities and

00:33:15

abilities.

00:33:17

There are two things

00:33:20

that I would like to address and on the one hand, of

00:33:22

course, a main

00:33:25

topic for you is the narcissistic

00:33:26

society and the term narcissism

00:33:29

really if you look on YouTube

00:33:32

it is used in a totally inflationary way,

00:33:34

yes everyone is a narcissist in some way

00:33:35

and in fact everyone has

00:33:37

certain narcissistic patterns, I would

00:33:39

also say and I think to a certain

00:33:41

extent that is perhaps even normal and

00:33:43

healthy. You are welcome to contradict me

00:33:45

also means, as they say now, the

00:33:48

narcissistic society is it true

00:33:50

because somehow there

00:33:51

are narcissists everywhere we are all

00:33:53

narcissistic how exactly

00:33:55

yes how exactly is that how it turns out that way

00:34:01

the term is actually

00:34:03

used a lot and to put it quite simply

00:34:07

there is a healthy narcissism

00:34:11

Narcissism then as a term for

00:34:14

self-love, self-affirmation, yes,

00:34:17

basically it is the wish of every person

00:34:19

that they

00:34:21

can have the experience in their childhood that

00:34:24

you are my child, okay, I

00:34:27

like you both, you are my child and that

00:34:30

and that and that is wonderful and

00:34:32

you don't need the other thing, so you

00:34:35

have a narcissistic saturation, which means that your

00:34:38

self-worth is confirmed at the beginning

00:34:41

and then it's part of my

00:34:44

self-affirmation, yes, and that's

00:34:48

unfortunately

00:34:49

not that common or rather rare.

00:34:52

Most children experience the opposite

00:34:54

not right not good

00:34:58

enough the way the parents

00:35:00

study society expected it

00:35:02

leads to a narcissistic

00:35:04

damage that means

00:35:07

a damage to one's self-esteem or a feeling of

00:35:10

inferiority feeling of

00:35:12

insecurity I am not the way

00:35:15

I should be

00:35:16

the language of the parents in the

00:35:19

performance school in society the

00:35:22

certain Values like that and now

00:35:26

basically fate with this

00:35:28

narcissistic disorder is that the

00:35:29

actual narcissistic disorder has to be

00:35:32

compensated for. Aha, I'm not good

00:35:36

enough

00:35:37

so I have to see what I can do to

00:35:40

become good. Now you're basically happy with

00:35:43

the parents' instructions the

00:35:46

school the society the institution

00:35:48

depending on which represent certain values

00:35:52

if you do that then you are

00:35:54

welcome with us then you can have a career with us

00:35:55

and that is how a

00:35:58

false life is created, always having to make

00:36:02

oneself important to oneself with the increased narcissistic demands

00:36:08

Result that in the end you

00:36:11

are different,

00:36:13

stranger than you really

00:36:15

are inside or we say the

00:36:18

classic narcissist has more, is more

00:36:20

appearance than reality, so he has learned to

00:36:23

represent something because he has the feeling that the

00:36:26

way I am, I'm not

00:36:28

okay like that and now the whole

00:36:30

range is from poorly developed

00:36:33

to heavily developed and the real

00:36:38

big narcissist is then in the

00:36:40

big dipper who believes he

00:36:44

can do everything possible and the

00:36:47

dangerous thing about it is that the tendency to

00:36:55

overestimate oneself due to self-esteem problems and thus

00:36:57

to emerge narcissistically It

00:36:59

always goes

00:37:00

hand in hand with devaluation of others, so

00:37:04

I am the greatest, I am the best and

00:37:06

if you

00:37:08

want to be the winner you

00:37:11

automatically create losers if you

00:37:13

want to be the winner and you have to devalue others who

00:37:17

are worse when I do that, the

00:37:19

other person doesn't have that Well,

00:37:20

I immediately had the feeling that I was

00:37:22

better, so you then create a

00:37:26

relativization of the values, the exaggeration

00:37:29

goes with the devaluation of others and

00:37:32

now there is a special

00:37:34

narcissistic problem, which is

00:37:35

perhaps why there is also the confusion in the

00:37:38

variety of

00:37:41

descriptions that I call

00:37:44

sizes small narcissism so the same

00:37:49

basis

00:37:50

people who have not been validated for themselves

00:37:55

but now for

00:37:57

various reasons have not

00:38:01

got the drive to do more more more more

00:38:02

what is required of them

00:38:05

and they

00:38:06

may have had the experience

00:38:09

when they are now starting to give up

00:38:13

are needy as a child and are at a loss and

00:38:16

crying that reaches the parents and then

00:38:20

the parents start to worry about taking care of

00:38:21

the child and

00:38:24

the child has the experience of aha not

00:38:27

when I try hard but

00:38:30

when I remain needy I

00:38:33

receive parental attention and so

00:38:36

a personality gradually develops that

00:38:43

lives out the narcissistic self-esteem problem by emphasizing remaining small and needy.

00:38:50

In a welfare state you can

00:38:53

find many sizes of small narcissists who

00:38:56

then always

00:38:58

allow themselves to be retired accordingly. I

00:39:01

even

00:39:04

dared to generalize that in In the

00:39:07

former GDR, many more greats

00:39:11

were narcissists and in the

00:39:13

Federal Republic many more greats

00:39:14

were narcissists themselves and that this

00:39:19

was also a collision in the unification. Not the greats hoped that

00:39:22

they would now go to paradise, and the

00:39:25

greats themselves were narcissists in the West

00:39:29

looked down on the East,

00:39:30

devaluation that only affected the fencing

00:39:33

life, that's something that very

00:39:35

soon annoyed me because I had

00:39:37

a good life in the GDR, I was never close

00:39:39

to the state, never in the party, impossible,

00:39:41

but the personal values meant that

00:39:45

you had to survive that you had to have dignity,

00:39:48

that you didn't

00:39:50

follow hypocrisy and lies and

00:39:53

had to live relationships. That made me

00:39:55

stronger. I find this

00:39:58

point very interesting that you

00:39:59

have now brought up, also in the West and East

00:40:02

and sometimes I feel a bit tired of

00:40:04

talking about it because I Of course, I

00:40:05

grew up in the generation that

00:40:07

no longer had so much to do with it,

00:40:08

but only with the consequences of it

00:40:10

and that was originally what

00:40:13

she wrote to and said, yes, I

00:40:14

want to talk about complaining and the

00:40:15

complaining society, now we'll get

00:40:17

to it this topic and there is

00:40:19

this nasty nasty term

00:40:21

meckerosis I know I have it

00:40:23

actually I once heard that it

00:40:25

was used a lot I'm sorry now that's

00:40:32

the point I know

00:40:35

all these terms

00:40:38

better for greats Messi and Jammer the sizes are

00:40:42

small and that's something that I also

00:40:44

observe and I don't even know if

00:40:46

because I ca

00:40:48

n't see in the comment column whether they

00:40:52

come from the East or the West, I don't know, but I

00:40:53

really often notice that It's this

00:40:57

whining this complaining again and again so

00:41:01

instead of for so there's a lot of complaining there

00:41:03

's a lot of complaining about the

00:41:04

current situation and of course I understand that

00:41:06

to some extent I just ask

00:41:09

myself how can it be made better I

00:41:11

can understand that people

00:41:13

want to throw up Totally understandable, yes,

00:41:15

but I have the idea

00:41:17

that many people stay in this loop forever,

00:41:19

in this

00:41:21

eternal complaining, in this eternal complaining.

00:41:23

Now, of course, I don't want to attribute this to the

00:41:25

listeners in the East

00:41:28

as a sole

00:41:31

characteristic, but I notice that

00:41:33

I'm also the most

00:41:34

used to it and I've now moved to the East

00:41:36

and so I can see that I recognize it

00:41:38

a little bit there that this

00:41:41

whining and complaining is a bit more

00:41:43

dominant. I actually have to

00:41:45

realize that, yes, I want to first just

00:41:49

try to explain it again

00:41:51

that dressing in sizes

00:41:55

was also a special power in the GDR era or

00:42:00

clever at evading it, namely when I

00:42:08

always acted a bit, I would say stupid, towards the powerful people of the party or the Stasi

00:42:10

or

00:42:13

no I don't know, I can't, I don't want to, so

00:42:18

you automatically slipped into a size

00:42:22

small, but it also protected you

00:42:24

from an attack

00:42:26

and you knew that if you

00:42:30

acted so self-confidently during the GDR era and were

00:42:32

critical and obviously then it

00:42:34

usually went away not good, you would very

00:42:36

quickly be intimidated

00:42:39

or something like that, so it also has

00:42:43

an effect to protect yourself, yes and

00:42:47

say that even the big ones who

00:42:50

know better, that's just the result of

00:42:52

a western socialization where you

00:42:55

have to congregate wherever you are You

00:42:57

have to be a winner where you always have to get better,

00:42:59

so in American terms, both have

00:43:03

corresponding meaning or,

00:43:07

if you like, success in

00:43:14

fitting into the respective society or but

00:43:17

I'll tell you this complaining, honestly Matz, I do

00:43:18

n't see how that can be productive

00:43:20

I can understand the moment, so I

00:43:22

understand that sometimes you

00:43:23

need a moment like that, even if things are

00:43:25

n't going well at work, that you're

00:43:26

throwing up, I've already

00:43:27

said that, but I don't understand

00:43:30

how it makes you feel like that now The

00:43:33

current situation in the GDR is different,

00:43:35

but now I can understand

00:43:36

how it can help you

00:43:40

to stay in this constant loop, so I

00:43:43

have to try to explain something a bit,

00:43:46

so we had

00:43:48

already touched on the issue of the pent-up emotions,

00:43:51

yes, the pent-up

00:43:54

feelings are mostly aggressive

00:43:56

Anger but also mental pain

00:43:58

and sadness that you were

00:44:03

n't allowed to experience in childhood.

00:44:05

You were warned and disciplined and you do

00:44:07

n't have to be cheeky. I'm loud and

00:44:10

controlled

00:44:17

Event

00:44:19

of the human being with feelings associated with

00:44:22

joyful or even depressing ones and

00:44:25

if these are not expressed

00:44:28

the body holds back yes

00:44:31

and makes muscles tense,

00:44:34

breathing becomes shallower and so on and

00:44:38

every person then has the tendency to

00:44:42

somehow react off these pent up feelings

00:44:48

they are not

00:44:49

reacted to the situation Where they were

00:44:52

created, that wasn't allowed, so

00:44:54

now you look for others and that's one of

00:44:57

the disastrous reasons why you

00:45:00

suddenly need scapegoats, you

00:45:01

need enemy images, it's your fault that

00:45:04

I'm feeling bad or a

00:45:06

famous example that the

00:45:08

fly on the wall suddenly makes you incredibly

00:45:10

upset These are symptoms of the

00:45:12

pent-up emotions, pent-up effects of

00:45:15

anger, which are then used by some

00:45:18

small thing that is

00:45:20

happening and now

00:45:24

there is the violent reaction, so socially

00:45:28

speaking, with the scapegoat and

00:45:30

the projection, it is very dangerous, but let's

00:45:32

take football for example, yes,

00:45:35

I am not a football opponent I

00:45:38

also really enjoy watching, but when you

00:45:39

sometimes see the

00:45:40

uncontrolled enthusiasm with which

00:45:43

a goal is celebrated or the

00:45:46

abject pain with which a defeat is

00:45:49

dealt with, it

00:45:52

no longer has anything to do with the game and

00:45:53

most people

00:45:56

no longer even know that They are so enthusiastic about football

00:45:59

because they

00:46:00

get rid of some of their feelings there and, by the way,

00:46:03

many men can vent the accumulated emotions there too.

00:46:06

Well, that's

00:46:10

one explanation and the

00:46:15

other actually goes even

00:46:17

more into the

00:46:19

social side, i.e. complaining as an outflow of

00:46:23

pent-up feelings Feelings and socially,

00:46:26

anyone who is in a jam of emotions is looking for reasons to get

00:46:31

upset. I know you can

00:46:33

say that. I even know many couples who have

00:46:37

partnerships where they have chosen each other and I

00:46:40

know I live together or got

00:46:42

married because you

00:46:45

can get upset with the other because you are constantly over It

00:46:47

's crazy to complain to others,

00:46:50

but unfortunately that's how our subconscious works

00:46:52

and they stick together even though

00:46:55

they're constantly arguing or being

00:46:57

disappointed and the explanation is

00:46:59

because your partner helps you get rid of

00:47:04

some of the feeling of being stuck and

00:47:06

the tragedy is of course that Feeling stone

00:47:09

is not really processed, it is

00:47:11

now being reacted vicariously on an object

00:47:14

so that there is no

00:47:17

real awareness, no maturity,

00:47:19

so that would be

00:47:22

an important task in psychotherapy, for example, that

00:47:25

will always be the complainers or those who

00:47:29

suffer from their partner or the circumstances Wait a moment, what is a

00:47:33

real one? There are of course also real

00:47:36

problems with your partner that you

00:47:39

have to criticize in a society

00:47:40

socket view conditions and that

00:47:43

is our work what is realistic in terms of

00:47:48

justified anger but what is

00:47:51

buttered in from the gefischtown yes so

00:47:54

that in a different situation

00:47:57

so to speak, transferred to the current situation and you

00:47:59

also have to admit that of course

00:48:01

the current situation gives those in power

00:48:03

enough material

00:48:06

to react to, so I don't want to

00:48:09

say under any circumstances that the

00:48:10

problems that people have

00:48:12

are not real, of course that's clear

00:48:16

now I want to of course also the

00:48:17

better wessies, so old term but

00:48:19

I also look at them again because they

00:48:21

often talk about this topic of performance

00:48:23

and meritocracy,

00:48:24

competition and pressure and so on and

00:48:26

maybe my

00:48:28

personal biography also played a role. I

00:48:29

also spent a few years in the

00:48:31

Lived in the USA and was of course shaped there

00:48:32

and between 11 and 17 I would

00:48:35

describe that as a very formative time and I

00:48:38

actually really appreciate the Americans because

00:48:39

they

00:48:41

are or were actually very performance-oriented and

00:48:45

it doesn't play such a big role there either

00:48:47

You are now good at the sport of chess

00:48:49

or photography, it doesn't matter

00:48:52

what you do well, everything is supported,

00:48:55

so that's how I perceived the school system there

00:48:57

and when I

00:48:59

look around here now I have the

00:49:02

idea that

00:49:03

everything is done at the lowest level

00:49:06

common denominator corrected to

00:49:08

take everyone along, so very egalitarian and of

00:49:10

course no one should be left behind

00:49:12

and I also understand the

00:49:13

basic idea, so I of course it's

00:49:15

very empathetic and so on but then when

00:49:18

you see that, for example, that was

00:49:20

a new study that came out IQB

00:49:22

study that Fourth graders

00:49:25

in Germany have fewer skills in mathematics,

00:49:26

it has

00:49:27

deteriorated significantly and it doesn't just have something to

00:49:29

do with the corona pandemic, we have

00:49:31

A-level inflation, which

00:49:33

is not due to the fact that they have

00:49:35

all suddenly become so clever,

00:49:36

we have a lot Many students but

00:49:39

fewer

00:49:40

young people who are capable of studying and

00:49:43

I wonder whether it's so bad to

00:49:46

demand performance, what's so

00:49:48

bad about a meritocracy and

00:49:49

a so-called meritocracy where

00:49:51

performance is also rewarded,

00:49:53

actually nothing at all, so

00:49:56

we were already on that earlier Thoughts

00:49:58

came Performance is what is normal, what

00:50:01

is healthy, what is satisfying I have

00:50:04

a task to fulfill that I need to

00:50:09

fulfill myself, that I need to

00:50:12

secure my life, to earn my bread

00:50:16

or something like that, yes

00:50:18

and the

00:50:20

crucial question is whether it is then that's

00:50:23

enough so yes, now it's my

00:50:26

job and it's good. Now

00:50:30

I can take a break. Now I can

00:50:31

relax. Yes, and

00:50:36

in that sense, performance would

00:50:39

not only be good for the necessary, but also

00:50:43

performance that you do

00:50:45

n't really like doing But then I

00:50:47

only know if I want to

00:50:50

fulfill the task that you

00:50:51

have set yourself or that you have to

00:50:53

survive, yes, and

00:50:55

if this tendency, this curve of

00:50:59

tension and relaxation

00:51:08

is no longer adhered to for economic reasons for ideological reasons for political reasons

00:51:11

They are natural contact between

00:51:15

tension and relaxation between

00:51:18

inhalation and exhalation. Yes, when that is

00:51:22

required you have to

00:51:24

breathe in more and more, you have to do more and more,

00:51:26

otherwise

00:51:29

you will lose your job or your

00:51:32

career will not continue and so that

00:51:34

means for me there is the requirement for

00:51:38

performance Perverts it, important

00:51:41

degenerates, if you will, yes and that

00:51:44

is a symptom of a

00:51:49

financial capitalist development that

00:51:51

actually ends up placing the prophet and

00:51:55

even fraud, corruption more at

00:51:59

the center than human

00:52:02

relationships, although from my

00:52:06

point of view that changes a bit too With regard

00:52:10

to the issue of the environment, climate,

00:52:14

there are activists who

00:52:17

also

00:52:18

talk about the opposite of growth, which of course

00:52:21

also goes hand in hand with a

00:52:23

certain loss of prosperity,

00:52:24

or the issue of

00:52:27

citizens' money where the

00:52:29

bills actually go It's

00:52:31

no longer worth it to

00:52:32

go to work anymore, but you can get

00:52:34

the citizen's money and maybe

00:52:39

get a 400 euro job or 520 euro job, as it's now called, and

00:52:41

I'm wondering if

00:52:43

everything is easy for you now This is how it is handed out, so

00:52:45

there is no longer even a

00:52:46

minimum requirement required, what does

00:52:49

that mean for a society

00:52:53

if I didn't have the encouragement

00:52:57

and support and confirmation as a child

00:53:01

then I'm

00:53:04

in danger

00:53:06

later that finally now finally provides for me

00:53:10

yes so that performance could not

00:53:13

really be experienced as a natural need,

00:53:16

so

00:53:19

I think we are in this area of tension

00:53:23

between necessary and

00:53:25

satisfactory performance and the

00:53:27

addictive performance that is now for

00:53:29

political reasons for economic

00:53:31

reasons and

00:53:33

every person would actually have to

00:53:36

find their way in between but if, for

00:53:40

example is employed somewhere and is

00:53:43

constantly being asked to do more

00:53:47

and that

00:53:49

is associated with a threat to your existence if you don't do that

00:53:51

then we don't want you anymore so

00:53:52

then

00:53:54

it becomes difficult not to

00:53:57

follow this addiction to performance and the

00:54:00

counterbalance then is that you say, now

00:54:02

I finally want to Don't do anything anymore

00:54:04

and be cared for, yes, I always think so

00:54:07

when this

00:54:11

is brought to me individually about

00:54:14

a person's problem, of course I was always

00:54:16

how were you cared for in early childhood,

00:54:18

yes and

00:54:21

mostly not, so not, no

00:54:24

breastfeeding, no, no parents you've had

00:54:29

thoughts and worries and

00:54:31

then you just start to compensate,

00:54:35

now I do them and at some point you realize

00:54:39

I'll never be really satisfied, I

00:54:42

'll never really find peace, yes, and then

00:54:45

you can throw the baby out with the

00:54:47

bathwater and then get into that

00:54:48

Now and that's what happens when

00:54:51

you get depressed or the famous

00:54:54

burnout, what is that? It's

00:54:56

actually nothing other than the person

00:54:59

has given up or you don't know what to do,

00:55:02

at least you have the feeling that it's

00:55:04

all too much now and you try to label it

00:55:08

as an illness

00:55:11

[music]

00:55:12

but it's

00:55:14

practically just the symptom of the

00:55:18

wrong life that has fallen into crisis. I have

00:55:20

another question that came from the community,

00:55:22

so to speak, and that is that they would like to

00:55:26

know how to raise children to be responsible,

00:55:29

relational citizens

00:55:31

and I think they would have that who would like

00:55:33

practical help so what can you

00:55:35

do practically

00:55:38

read my book and read my books

00:55:41

would recommend them specifically for this,

00:55:43

perhaps for parents it

00:55:45

is false life and the narcissistic

00:55:47

society

00:55:48

but basically it is

00:55:54

fundamental that the children are different from the start

00:55:57

are treated as they are

00:55:59

usually treated, so they

00:56:01

need

00:56:02

recognition, confirmation, love and

00:56:05

should not

00:56:07

[music]

00:56:08

be alienated from themselves

00:56:11

in what they should do so that they

00:56:14

get recognition, well, that would

00:56:16

actually be the big socio-political

00:56:19

goal to

00:56:20

ensure that the children are better

00:56:23

are treated, there are better parents,

00:56:26

that there is no too early separation of

00:56:29

mother, father, child and these are

00:56:32

things that are good from a socio-political point

00:56:34

of view, you can't

00:56:38

decide for yourself now, so you assume

00:56:41

that most people

00:56:44

are affected are

00:56:46

themselves alienated, traumatized

00:56:49

and They just had to learn to do what was

00:56:54

expected of them and in the end they would

00:56:56

become exhausted or unhappy

00:56:59

and yes,

00:57:01

therapy would of course be a way but that

00:57:04

is not possible for everyone

00:57:07

then I tried to

00:57:12

help develop something like that, what kind of

00:57:15

relationship cultures are called a

00:57:18

special form of helpful

00:57:21

communication also includes

00:57:24

dialogues like those developed by Michael Lukas

00:57:26

Müller in

00:57:29

partnership conflicts,

00:57:31

a special form of communication that is relatively easy

00:57:35

to learn and understand:

00:57:40

dialogues, i.e.

00:57:43

you sit together and agree, now

00:57:46

we'll talk for half an hour or an hour

00:57:48

Hour so there is a time limit is

00:57:51

important

00:57:52

and then the agreement is everyone

00:57:54

only talks about themselves, not about the

00:57:58

other and not about anything outside,

00:58:00

but I'm telling you, I'm feeling like this now, I'm happy

00:58:04

about it or it's something that

00:58:07

annoyed me or it scares me

00:58:09

or so and

00:58:11

so you can

00:58:15

tell the other person something about

00:58:20

what is depressing or burdening you, also

00:58:22

the content of the emotional jam and the other person

00:58:24

only has the task of

00:58:26

listening, accepting, receiving, not

00:58:29

evaluating, not criticizing, but

00:58:32

with the way you think and, best of all, through

00:58:36

dialogue and then It goes back and forth,

00:58:40

which has the advantage that

00:58:43

everyone can understand it. When there is a

00:58:47

conflict, I am always the

00:58:50

problem, not just the other person,

00:58:52

but I can communicate and

00:58:53

be understood and can also

00:58:55

understand the other person, so

00:58:58

basically the affects be reduced in the

00:59:01

end you can communicate well but

00:59:04

you can also have different

00:59:05

opinions but still put

00:59:07

up with each other or even like each other because I know

00:59:10

aha you think that way because

00:59:13

your story is your situation that's how

00:59:16

I understand now and I'm in

00:59:18

a different

00:59:19

situation of the opposite gender or

00:59:21

different age and have different

00:59:23

experiences with it, so you can

00:59:27

be different and still understand each other.

00:59:30

I don't have to recommend it. You can

00:59:32

always set the clock to five minutes

00:59:34

so that everyone has time to

00:59:37

speak, otherwise the topic will be

00:59:39

interrupted, that's what I do I'd also

00:59:40

like to, it's very difficult that would

00:59:44

also lead me to another

00:59:45

question from the audience, namely how one

00:59:47

can talk to adults if the

00:59:49

other person finds the other person's opinion threatening,

00:59:51

although of course that's also an

00:59:53

interpretation, we don't know,

00:59:55

but

00:59:56

we definitely have one Definitely established, even

01:00:00

within the corona crisis,

01:00:02

we haven't touched on this topic at all, but it

01:00:03

doesn't matter. There's enough discussion about it

01:00:05

that it's very, very difficult

01:00:08

to talk about different opinions

01:00:09

and that since people's minds really

01:00:12

get heated very quickly, they would say

01:00:13

these Also recommend a form of dialogue

01:00:16

that would be the basis yes,

01:00:18

I have to say first and I also say that

01:00:19

now as a

01:00:21

psychotherapist and psychiatrist.

01:00:24

Unfortunately, there are always situations with people

01:00:26

you can't talk to, so

01:00:28

if I'm accused of not

01:00:32

having an understanding of something, yes

01:00:34

always that's my job yes I my

01:00:38

job is to listen and understand

01:00:39

no matter even a murderer I want to

01:00:43

understand or do I have to understand him

01:00:45

if I want to help at all yes but

01:00:49

that also happens in therapy I

01:00:53

'm not in a position to be with a person

01:00:56

He doesn't want to have a conversation, of

01:00:59

course

01:01:00

I would always ask myself why

01:01:02

he doesn't want to now, why he can't

01:01:05

or something like that and then you can always

01:01:07

try again, but it's a reality

01:01:09

that it doesn't work, but that's

01:01:13

the therapy anyway It's already a

01:01:15

special protected space when it's

01:01:17

in public,

01:01:21

I tend

01:01:23

to recommend not talking to each other

01:01:27

unless there's a

01:01:29

willingness to communicate, so

01:01:31

at a demo, for example, it's very

01:01:34

difficult, yes,

01:01:37

and you can now I want to talk to you,

01:01:40

yes, we've

01:01:43

fallen out or so we're

01:01:45

not talking to you in the café, do you want that

01:01:47

too and if you get a no then

01:01:51

it doesn't make any sense, yes you can

01:01:53

try to make it easier again

01:01:56

so I would be happy or or I'll

01:02:00

offer that to you so you can do

01:02:04

things like that but

01:02:06

you can't force a person and

01:02:09

then I recommend

01:02:14

leaving the field because it's

01:02:17

always just a voice, you just get stuck in and then

01:02:19

it gets harder and harder, yes and

01:02:22

the main basis would be dialogues, yes

01:02:27

I have that, for

01:02:28

example, I have At the end of the

01:02:32

GDR there were a lot of discussions with Stasi leaders and their

01:02:35

victims, there were those who

01:02:37

were ready to reveal their EM and

01:02:41

after the fall of the Wall

01:02:43

we brought East and West Germans

01:02:46

together. There was also Michael

01:02:47

Lukas Müller who

01:02:49

developed these dialogues, that was

01:02:53

high interesting, yes, East Germany

01:02:56

is already starting to talk about itself,

01:02:58

not just about politics

01:03:00

but how they live, what they think, what

01:03:03

they feel and for me that was really

01:03:05

impressive. At the beginning it was always completely

01:03:08

clear who was from the East but it was in the West

01:03:11

after half an hour of conversation,

01:03:13

the people no longer have more

01:03:15

in common than what separates them, they

01:03:17

were suddenly much closer in their very

01:03:20

individual problems

01:03:22

and and can't be so

01:03:24

different and

01:03:27

value was mentioned again before with

01:03:30

the prosperity

01:03:32

Thought occurred to me,

01:03:34

what do we actually mean by prosperity these days?

01:03:37

Not most people mean money

01:03:39

that can buy what they can afford

01:03:42

and so on and

01:03:45

we can see where that leads to what

01:03:48

we destroy in terms of natural

01:03:50

resources and so on and what we do

01:03:52

n't need and so on and

01:03:56

and still buy and I have had the

01:03:59

experience, for example,

01:04:01

if such dialogues can be held

01:04:04

or people can

01:04:05

understand each other better, I

01:04:07

can understand each other better, that is a high value of

01:04:10

wealth, not a materialized

01:04:14

wealth value, but an

01:04:16

individual, a psychological, a

01:04:18

social

01:04:19

wealth value, so that You should

01:04:23

keep in mind that a society that

01:04:27

only sees prosperity as material prosperity

01:04:28

has to get into a crisis and have to be

01:04:32

addicted. Yes,

01:04:34

that's the idea. I think

01:04:36

you've already said that, that

01:04:39

it may be inevitable that

01:04:42

we end up in this crisis scenario

01:04:44

because we now find ourselves again

01:04:46

with war, with

01:04:49

a scarcity of resources, with

01:04:52

environmental problems and that's just

01:04:55

the way the problem

01:04:57

is, it's almost inevitable that it leads to it, so there

01:05:00

's probably so there's

01:05:02

something else to say about it, let's get

01:05:04

to the point again

01:05:06

I think that's exactly how I think

01:05:08

when the majority of people

01:05:11

are forced into a wrong life,

01:05:13

that we have

01:05:14

n't even mentioned the term yet, i.e. that of

01:05:16

normopathy, a social

01:05:19

aberration that declares the disturbed, the

01:05:22

pasical to be normal just because the

01:05:26

majority then thinks and acts that way and

01:05:28

of course that is very often heavily

01:05:32

propagandistically charged and only the

01:05:35

values of society, so that for a long

01:05:38

time you don't notice that you

01:05:40

are living with lauromopathy, i.e. a

01:05:44

disturbed society, simply a

01:05:46

misdeveloped society and

01:05:50

yes, it has to come into crisis, which I

01:05:55

know is wrong life and the crisis There's

01:05:57

always an opportunity, that's what you

01:05:58

said and I think that many people

01:06:01

perceived it that way, even

01:06:04

because of the corona crisis. Many people

01:06:06

have changed their lives. Many people

01:06:08

have quit their jobs and said

01:06:10

no, I don't really want to

01:06:11

do that anymore and that is actually

01:06:12

a very good example of how

01:06:15

a crisis can also lead to something positive

01:06:17

or I

01:06:19

keep repeating myself saying that

01:06:21

the corona crisis has really

01:06:22

brought with it a really great thing and that

01:06:24

is revolutionization of the

01:06:25

labor market and it really benefited the

01:06:29

employees, in fact the

01:06:32

flexibilization of course only if you

01:06:34

work in a job that allows it,

01:06:36

I realize that this

01:06:37

is not possible for everyone, but that would

01:06:39

not have been possible

01:06:42

under any circumstances without this health crisis and

01:06:44

That's why,

01:06:45

perhaps in my still

01:06:49

youthful naivety, I see some

01:06:52

positive things in this time and

01:06:54

I just accept that it

01:06:56

is difficult sometimes, so the situation is

01:06:58

not easy and it will probably

01:07:01

stay that way for a while and

01:07:02

those are the challenges which

01:07:05

my generation and the

01:07:06

following generations now have to bear is a

01:07:08

very simple matter, so that's true, of course

01:07:12

I see every day in my

01:07:15

work

01:07:17

that the crisis

01:07:20

and the illness, for example, is an

01:07:22

opportunity to pause, what

01:07:24

have I done wrong or

01:07:26

what does it have to do with together until that

01:07:29

came into being, yes and

01:07:31

in relation to society

01:07:34

I also see that there is an opportunity to

01:07:37

pause and say, wait a minute, what has

01:07:40

become normopathic here and

01:07:43

where should one have to use it?

01:07:46

So to see the crisis as an opportunity

01:07:51

and perhaps not to resign I

01:07:53

know you didn't give up, you

01:07:54

said you were a bit

01:07:55

pessimistic and you certainly have a

01:07:57

lot more life experience than me and

01:07:59

I would like to thank you for speaking to me

01:08:02

and sharing your experience

01:08:03

with me. I

01:08:05

of course hope that we can be optimistic about the

01:08:07

future but

01:08:09

maybe I have to do that too

Description:

WOLLT IHR MEINE ARBEIT UNTERSTÜTZEN? PAYPAL: [email protected] ÜBERWEISUNG NAME: Jasmin Dantas Kosubek IBAN: DE46 5001 0517 5423 7119 78 BIC: INGDDEFFXXX Dr. Hans-Joachim Maaz ist Psychiater und Publizist. Geprägt durch die Vertreibung seiner Eltern aus dem Sudetenland und sein Leben in der DDR hat Maaz sich ein Leben lang mit der Gesellschaft aus psychoanalytischer Sicht auseinandergesetzt. Sein bekanntestes Buch "Der Gefühlsstau: Ein Psychogramm der DDR" erschien 1990 kurz nach der Wende, darauf folgten zahlreiche Publikationen darunter, "Das falsche Leben" oder das aktuellste Buch "Angstgesellschaft". In diesem Gespräch gehen wir auf das aktuelle Thema Krieg ein, das Maaz persönlich berührt, wie auch die gesellschaftliche Diskussion um den Begriff "toxische Männlichkeit". Fragen aus der Community werden am Ende beantwortet. KAPITEL 04:11 Was führt eine Gesellschaft in den Krieg? 10:40 Wird der Krieg gebraucht? 14:14 Wie konnte die russische Gesellschaft in den Krieg geführt werden? 20:58 Der Begriff "toxische Männlichkeit" – Können Männer das Mannsein noch ausleben? 25:20 Leben wir in einem Patriarchat? 29:05 Das Feminine und Maskuline 33:50 Sind wir alle Narzissten? 39:57 Die Mecker-Gesellschaft oder warum jammern wir? 48:20 Ist die Leistungsgesellschaft per se schlecht? 55:20 Fragen aus der Community WERBEPARTNER Affiliate-Link "Hörner-Group": https://hoerner-group.de/?wpam_id=5 10% Rabattcode: JASMIN10 FOLGT MIR Odysee: https://odysee.com/@JasminKosubek:a Twitter: https://twitter.com/JasminKosubek Insta: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Telegram: https://t.me/jasminkosubek

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