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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
hello today we're doing face palm00:00:03
it's really that simple when i was five00:00:05
i found out my grandpa had a twin when i00:00:07
saw him after my grandfather's funeral a00:00:09
[ __ ] heads up would have been nice00:00:11
that was so cheeky like00:00:14
grandpa you're still alive i'd be doing00:00:15
like triple take like what's happening00:00:17
oh my god he should have just [ __ ]00:00:18
with him the twin oh that would have00:00:20
been the greatest prank right really00:00:22
really inappropriate way to deal with00:00:25
the alzeburg you know yeah00:00:27
i can have some more years up here with00:00:29
my beautiful grandson my daughter was00:00:32
just offered a teaching position for00:00:33
16.25 per hour she has two masters in00:00:36
education that's 32 000 800 annual no00:00:40
wonder they can't find a teacher she was00:00:42
making 55 000 us as a bartender our00:00:45
priorities are [ __ ] up when people go00:00:47
to school to teach you have to i thought00:00:50
like teachers just became teachers you00:00:52
have to go to school and get like a more00:00:54
than just a general bachelor's degree00:00:57
you have to get like actual teaching00:00:58
degree then i say00:01:00
kids just go be a bartender make that00:01:04
have you seen kids maybe uh maybe00:01:06
alcohol could be a better choice but00:01:08
this is also weird because i know my00:01:10
french teacher literally told me he made00:01:12
a hundred thousand dollars a year00:01:14
yeah so like i guess it's like a level00:01:16
up kind of deal right like maybe you00:01:18
might start at 32.8 but if you do it for00:01:20
like five ten years you might reach six00:01:23
figures so maybe it's not all that bad00:01:25
but i also lived in new york so maybe00:01:27
they paid their teachers more there just00:01:29
laying maxwell slept with girls as young00:01:30
as 15 and trained the victim as this00:01:33
she raped 15 year old girls it's she00:01:36
made them raped not slept with00:01:39
she slept with them herself00:01:41
epstein's uh wife oh ew what so she also00:01:46
wanted to sleep with the girls that00:01:47
epstein had so that's why they jointly00:01:49
together worked on getting 15 year old00:01:51
girls oh my god so even lesbians can be00:01:54
pedos as well because like usually when00:01:56
you talk about pedos it's usually like00:01:58
you know either men or like high school00:02:00
teachers00:02:02
there's never really like older women00:02:03
raping younger girls like you don't00:02:05
really hear that right can still happen00:02:08
i'm sure yep anything's capable of00:02:10
anything honestly what a time to be00:02:12
alive i'm literally locked inside00:02:14
24-hour fitness right now they closed00:02:16
the doors and went home while swimming00:02:17
my laps in the pool this is the name00:02:19
suggested stay open 24 hours00:02:21
walking around trying to figure out how00:02:22
to get out i called sandy dispatch they00:02:24
told me they called me back i called my00:02:26
wife she said find a comfortable place00:02:28
to sleep wait that is true it's called00:02:30
24 hours that door should never be00:02:32
locked i feel like places that call for00:02:35
24 hours are never really 24-hour wait00:02:37
is a 24-hour fitness 24 because actually00:02:39
now that i recall i don't think it was00:02:41
24.00:02:42
they closed00:02:44
it i freaking knew it especially in00:02:46
seattle you really think anything's00:02:48
gonna be open past ten impossible i00:02:50
don't think it doesn't exist how00:02:53
anti-immigration policies are leading00:02:55
prisons to lease convicts as field00:02:57
labors this is called slavery you lease00:03:00
property not people and when people are00:03:02
property they're slaves wow but isn't it00:03:04
the same thing how like they're required00:03:06
to do community service isn't that kind00:03:08
of slavery because you're forcing them00:03:10
to do something that they don't want to00:03:12
do for free so isn't that slavery and00:03:15
you're not paying them this is like too00:03:17
big brain for me00:03:18
when i was a kid my sister told me that00:03:20
the paper strip that's in the chocolate00:03:22
kisses were edible and i eat them with00:03:23
the chocolate for like a year they are00:03:26
wait for real why would you believe in00:03:28
this again00:03:31
that's so mean and that's exactly why00:03:33
your sister says these things because00:03:34
she knows you'll believe anything dude00:03:36
wouldn't it be funny if that account is00:03:37
actually the sister yeah and she's just00:03:40
like debated again you've got debated00:03:43
you've been debated00:03:46
technically she's not wrong though you00:03:47
they are kind of edible henry it is00:03:50
extra fiber it's not maybe she's just00:03:52
like looking up her house imagine being00:03:54
one of the pricks in world war ii london00:03:56
that refused to turn your lights out at00:03:57
night in order to stop planes bombing00:03:59
your house because you didn't want to be00:04:00
told what to do by the government well00:04:02
they're going to be the ones paying the00:04:03
price right like they're just going to00:04:04
die so well but what if they live in an00:04:07
apartment00:04:09
yeah there's something like within human00:04:11
nature to like not want to do things00:04:13
when people tell you to do things like00:04:15
it's it's innate within certain people00:04:18
that they just don't want to be told00:04:19
things they want to do things by00:04:20
themselves hand me what00:04:23
bang00:04:24
come on i'm not a dog chief00:04:26
not00:04:28
no give me a kiss00:04:30
oh you wanted to do that quite quick for00:04:32
these people you tell them turn on the00:04:34
lights and they'll be like no [ __ ] you00:04:36
i'm turning off the lights now because00:04:38
you told me then00:04:43
so if i say like don't get the vaccine00:04:45
then they're like [ __ ] you i'm not i'm00:04:47
not taking all the vaccines harvard and00:04:49
yale scientists are proposing that we00:04:51
tackle climate change by dimming the sun00:04:53
it sounds crazy but according to their00:04:54
research it could actually cut the rate00:04:56
of global warming in half lol will fight00:04:58
the sun before we take on capitalism are00:05:00
we just gonna start chucking like frost00:05:02
grenades at the sun and wouldn't that be00:05:04
a bad idea because the sun is00:05:06
technically the energy of our known00:05:08
solar system so should you really be00:05:10
messing with the sun why do they sound00:05:12
like patrick star like we're gonna take00:05:15
earth and put it somewhere else we're00:05:18
gonna move it a little further from the00:05:20
sun trader joe00:05:22
oh fighter there's a traitor mine is the00:05:25
tree00:05:26
he's joe fighting trader joe i get the00:05:29
store now he makes some delicious ice00:05:31
cream my eyesight these guys are the big00:05:33
dicker germs00:05:35
cheater biden is secretly trader joe oh00:05:39
my god why didn't i think of it it makes00:05:41
so much sense start a business 999 too00:05:44
much buy a new iphone 999 no problem00:05:48
healthy groceries hundred dollars too00:05:50
much00:05:51
dinner and drinks hundred dollars no00:05:53
problem watch netflix two hours one more00:05:55
episode learn a new skill two hours no00:05:58
time life is about choices stop blaming00:06:00
the lack of opportunity ah yes one of00:06:02
those highly profitable businesses that00:06:04
can be started with 999 dollars in00:06:06
capital i mean i don't think that's what00:06:08
he means this is basically i think he00:06:09
just means like making the right choices00:06:11
right because a lot of people don't have00:06:13
self-control i mean you could start a00:06:15
business with 999. it's it is possible00:06:17
like youtube so like yeah technically if00:06:19
we all spend you know half the amount of00:06:21
time we spend watching netflix and tv00:06:22
shows like actually learning something00:06:24
we'd probably be pretty good at things00:06:27
but netflix shows00:06:29
or not netflix shows shows are just too00:06:31
entertaining so it's kind of hard being00:06:33
an adult and playing fortnite is cringe00:06:35
but the same guy i also made a00:06:37
life-sized rem jesus bruh i mean okay00:06:41
but like this is actually good though00:06:42
like do you see pretty skill do you see00:06:44
that though like i'm actually really00:06:46
impressed yeah i don't know if you use a00:06:48
kit or he actually made that by himself00:06:50
but to be honest that's a better use of00:06:52
your time than fortnite this was spotted00:06:54
on one of those dumb entrepreneur00:06:55
instagram accounts poor people00:06:57
apparently spends 2 500 on the necklace00:07:01
2 500 on pants 1 200 on headsets this00:07:05
isn't true for everybody but like the00:07:07
people that do spend like this kind of00:07:08
money and stuff typically tend to not be00:07:11
rich not for long i wish folks would00:07:13
stop telling young people how to manage00:07:15
their money i paid 310 for my first00:07:17
apartment based on inflation it should00:07:19
go for 850 per month now but the rent is00:07:22
a thousand six hundred dollars you can't00:07:23
personal finance your way out of greedy00:07:25
landlords and depressed wages okay so00:07:27
the rent of 1600 is not greedy landlords00:07:31
the rate of 1600 is determined by the00:07:33
market and the demand for the housing00:07:35
it's capitalism isn't that greed if you00:07:38
can get more for no because the00:07:40
government appreciates his house at a00:07:42
certain value so he has to pay land00:07:44
taxes00:07:45
for that value of the house so it's the00:07:47
government's fault no it's just supply00:07:49
and demand i'm getting cancelled now for00:07:52
mentioning capitalism so what i'm saying00:07:53
is the government raised taxes hence he00:07:56
has to unfortunately but the government00:07:57
only raised taxes because the value of00:08:00
the land went up because if you want to00:08:02
sell that house and the government's00:08:03
like no it's not worth that much then00:08:05
you get [ __ ] so everybody needs to be00:08:07
on the same page of how much money your00:08:08
house is worth00:08:10
lonely eight the nft dating service00:08:12
canceled due to a lack of woman you00:08:14
won't say00:08:16
well yeah i mean the nft crypto space is00:08:18
basically 95 men especially nfts i don't00:08:23
really know any women that are in nfts00:08:24
at all maybe you'll find them on twitter00:08:27
but they don't exist in real life so how00:08:29
does an nft dating site work like hi i00:08:32
have an nft you have an nft ooh i like00:08:35
your nft and then it's based off that it00:08:37
was probably a money grant that's what00:08:39
most nft projects are yep so it's not00:08:42
really a surprise it was cancelled yep00:08:44
whoever thought owning the libs would be00:08:45
cheap never tried to acquire a social00:08:47
media company this you miyanla said00:08:50
before for twitter to deserve public00:08:51
trust it must be politically neutral00:08:53
which effectively means upsetting the00:08:55
far right and the far left equally but00:08:57
this guy doesn't understand that twitter00:08:58
is not elon musk elon musk is himself he00:09:02
can share whatever thoughts that he00:09:03
wants twitter on the other hand cannot00:09:05
do that you cannot say that twitter and00:09:07
elon musk are the same thing i follow00:09:09
elon musk on twitter and he complains00:09:11
about twitter all the time00:09:14
he says twitter is [ __ ] he is not the00:09:16
same as elon as twitter what aren't00:09:18
people talking enough about how 70 8000:09:20
year olds are generally regarded as00:09:22
unemployable due to mental decline skill00:09:25
and mismatch yet they're exclusively00:09:26
running the country that's true once00:09:28
you're old if you ain't the president or00:09:30
a politician you're like out of a job00:09:32
last time is here it's probably just00:09:35
because of experience00:09:36
although maybe a lot of the experience00:09:37
is probably irrelevant at that age but00:09:39
it's still experienced but if it's00:09:41
experienced then how come in other00:09:43
professions experience isn't appreciated00:09:45
it's a surprise party for my mother and00:09:47
we live together so please can the box00:09:49
not look obvious it's party supplies00:09:53
if that's the system they made for this00:09:56
it's not really up to the employee to00:09:58
have like a pen ready to scribble it out00:10:00
because you specifically put in the00:10:02
instructions and that's for00:10:04
the people like sending it and packaging00:10:06
it to be like okay got it but they can't00:10:08
you know unless you're like a higher up00:10:10
it's00:10:11
nobody's initiative to probably hide it00:10:13
you will never change what you tolerate00:10:16
research hashtag flatter when you look00:10:18
on the horizon there's no curve here can00:10:21
we agree on that i love flat earthers00:10:23
because they remind me that even though00:10:25
i'm a failure there are always people00:10:26
even more disappointing than me all00:10:28
these scientists prove like the earth is00:10:30
round they just show this picture it's00:10:32
like then why are my eyes telling me00:10:34
it's straight i don't see a freaking00:10:36
curve there is no curve at this point00:10:40
everyone that's still making these are00:10:42
just here for the memes00:10:43
girl 14 with severe nut allergy nearly00:10:46
died aboard va flight after passenger00:10:48
refused to stop eating peanuts despite00:10:50
twice being told by cabin crew he was00:10:52
putting the teenager's life at risk but00:10:54
she wasn't the one eating them okay so00:10:56
if you're near someone if you have a00:10:58
severe nut allergy i think that triggers00:11:01
it at least she didn't die and she00:11:02
nearly died yes is that why they stopped00:11:04
serving peanuts on planes yeah i've00:11:06
never seen peanuts get conserved yeah00:11:08
cause now they do pretzels because like00:11:09
nobody's allergic to pretzels right oh00:11:11
no00:11:13
you know what they should have done go00:11:14
ahead sir eat the peanuts and then he's00:11:15
like well then i don't want to eat the00:11:17
peanuts we don't one of these rejection00:11:19
here's hearsay00:11:21
you asked the question okay okay00:11:23
okay dude look at that look at everyone00:11:25
just bust laughs we didn't see this dude00:11:28
i feel like on amber hurt's legal team00:11:30
they said here's the game plan right if00:11:32
you feel like things are going south00:11:34
just say objection here say to00:11:36
everything objection here is sin00:11:38
objection00:11:39
and maybe we'll win why are it guys such00:11:42
dicks last week i drove two hours to00:11:44
push the power button on a server that00:11:46
three separate people assured me was00:11:48
already on honestly like i could i could00:11:50
see that because00:11:51
people are really bad of technology and00:11:53
most of the fixes are probably really00:11:55
simple but people just don't know [ __ ]00:11:57
it's frustrating for people who actually00:12:00
get technology yeah and aren't that00:12:02
stupid says a complete boomer with00:12:04
technology but i think you know i00:12:06
usually00:12:07
girl who didn't even plug in the wire00:12:09
and spent an hour being like why is it00:12:11
working yeah but like usually we've00:12:13
tried everything before we contacted00:12:15
them we ordered a grill got 300 ipads00:12:18
what's more expensive 300 ipads each00:12:21
ipad's a thousand right am i doing the00:12:23
math right that's like three hundred00:12:24
thousand dollars00:12:26
oh my god it's [ __ ] amazing thanks oh00:12:28
my god you're rich thanks apple okay but00:12:30
here's the thing can ipads cook my00:12:32
delicious backyard barbecue i wanted and00:12:35
i planned for condom sex does not count00:12:38
just hear me out okay my theory if you00:12:40
wash your hands with gloves on did you00:12:42
really wash your hands i see your point00:12:43
but let me ask you this if i strangled00:12:45
you the depths of gloves on did i really00:12:47
strangle you to death yeah shut the [ __ ]00:12:49
up00:12:50
you can't just like use something00:12:51
totally unrelated and be like i am right00:12:54
see the point00:12:55
like yes two things aren't covered but00:12:57
the the purpose of it i'm not inserting00:13:00
the piece into the vagina to wash it i00:13:03
guess like me00:13:04
no i don't think so i feel sorry for00:13:06
netflix era kids they will never know00:13:08
the high-stakes adrenaline of running to00:13:10
the bathroom fridge bedroom in a single00:13:12
ad break with a beckoning call of a00:13:14
sibling screaming it's on to send you00:13:15
hurling over furniture to get back in00:13:17
time can you just pause it oh my sweet00:13:20
summer child it's netflix era kid the00:13:23
easiest way to out yourself as as like00:13:25
14. does no one watch like the disney00:13:28
channel or nickelodeon or cartoon00:13:30
network anymore like no i don't think so00:13:33
they watch it on youtube they don't00:13:35
actually watch it on live people oh no00:13:38
still on duty as a nurse that's in00:13:41
you're not really doing your job but00:13:42
you're kind of00:13:44
chilling in the halls00:13:46
going the bath00:13:48
getting the vaccine00:13:52
wait that's not what you're supposed to00:13:54
do while you're still on duty wait i00:13:56
thought she was nervous was the delivery00:13:57
in the back yeah so i thought the end00:13:59
was gonna be like her just like cleaning00:14:01
a [ __ ] up right because that's what00:14:03
nurses do yeah do you think she's she00:14:05
got paid for that since she was still on00:14:07
duty or00:14:09
do you think she ever got covered ever00:14:10
since getting the backs all right that's00:14:12
it for our face palm hope you enjoyed00:14:14
all the feast palm today make sure to00:14:16
face palm the like bar and subscribe00:14:20
we'll see you guys next time peace00:14:30
[Music]Description:
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