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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:03
foreign00:00:04
what are the commonalities among leaders00:00:07
who sustain Excellence over an extended00:00:11
period of time00:00:14
[Music]00:00:21
dondapani so great to have you here on00:00:23
the learning leader show welcome00:00:26
thank you Ryan thank you so much for00:00:28
having me00:00:29
I was rereading your book this morning00:00:33
on the elliptical and this this passage00:00:37
passage in the book00:00:39
stuck out to me as both a son and a00:00:43
parent and that is you'll often hear00:00:45
parents say to their kids quote we just00:00:48
want you to be happy and you write00:00:51
happiness should never be pursued rather00:00:56
one should pursue a lifestyle where the00:00:59
byproduct of living that lifestyle is00:01:02
happiness can you share more about that00:01:06
lifestyle in the pursuit00:01:08
where some have this goal of happiness00:01:11
and that may be misguided00:01:16
I think like you I've I've heard it from00:01:19
my parents I've heard my mom say to me00:01:21
countless time mom and dad only want you00:01:23
to be happy you know it's a very common00:01:25
phrase and uh but happiness is a00:01:28
byproduct of an experience right so if I00:01:30
spend time with my family I feel happy I00:01:34
play with my daughter on the beach I00:01:35
feel happy uh if I spend time with my00:01:39
best friends doing something I love I00:01:42
feel happy so how do we craft a00:01:44
lifestyle where the majority of the00:01:47
byproduct of the lifestyle results in00:01:50
the feeling of being happy and for that00:01:53
we need Clarity or purpose what is my00:01:56
purpose in life and everyone should have00:01:59
a solitary purpose a corporate what I00:02:02
Define as a core purpose in life00:02:04
same way that a company might have a00:02:07
purpose that defines its vision and00:02:08
Mission we should have a core purpose in00:02:10
life your purpose then defines your00:02:12
priorities00:02:14
and when we can focus on the priorities00:02:17
the byproduct of that is we feel happy00:02:20
so my daughter is a priority my wife's a00:02:23
priority a project here in conestrika00:02:25
where I am right now that we're working00:02:27
on is a priority when I focus on those00:02:29
three things for example00:02:31
I feel happy that doesn't mean there's00:02:34
no stress or challenges involved like my00:02:37
wife and I don't argue or there's no00:02:40
stress challenges at the project we're00:02:42
having in Costa Rica we do00:02:44
but generally those things bring me a00:02:47
lot of contentment and happiness so I00:02:50
think00:02:51
you're the and 490 plus of these you're00:02:55
the first00:02:56
Hindu priest and former monk of 10 years00:03:00
I've spoken to can you share a little00:03:03
bit more about your background and00:03:06
quite frankly even defining what it00:03:09
means to be a former monk of 10 years00:03:11
where you study what that was like as as00:03:14
well as being a Hindu priest00:03:16
yeah for sure so I'm Sri Lankan of DNA00:03:20
that's the Brown you see on me I was00:03:21
born in Malaysia I grew up in Australia00:03:23
I studied electrical engineering in00:03:25
University and when I graduated from00:03:27
University I moved to Hawaii where I00:03:30
lived with my Guru in his cloistered00:03:32
traditional Hindu Monastery and what00:03:34
that means is00:03:36
um that only lungs and the vows can live in00:03:40
there so I spoke to my parents twice a00:03:42
year on the phone and never emailed or00:03:45
wrote to them00:03:46
um I never talked to any of my friends00:03:48
relatives again so among sleep on that00:03:51
we lived a strict disciplined life I00:03:53
lived there for 10 years and my vows00:03:57
came up for Renewal I decided not to00:04:00
renew it so I left the monastery I'm no00:04:02
longer a monk anymore I'm a Hindu priest00:04:04
just to explain the difference between00:04:07
priests and monks so people have Clarity00:04:09
around that Hindu monks are very similar00:04:11
to Catholic monks for example or00:04:13
Christian monks where they lead celibate00:04:16
lives they lived with other monks in00:04:17
Cloisters and monasteries or sometimes00:04:19
by themselves00:04:21
uh Hindu priests uh householders they00:04:24
can actually get married have a family00:04:26
work at McDonald's be an entrepreneur so00:04:29
I'm an entrepreneur I work as an advisor00:04:32
to other entrepreneurs and uh athletes00:04:35
and I live with my wife and daughter00:04:37
here in Costa Rica and and that's what I00:04:39
do and what I'm wearing right now is a00:04:41
traditional uh outfit or Gob of a of a00:04:46
Hindu priest00:04:47
wow okay and you have three white lines00:04:50
across your forehead with an and also a00:04:52
DOT below them what does that symbolize00:04:55
so in Hinduism the Hindu religion there00:04:58
are four primary sacks uh the same way00:05:00
that for example in other religions you00:05:02
may have Buddhism has three00:05:04
catholicisms in Christianity of00:05:06
Catholicism Protestants methodists and00:05:09
born again00:05:10
so enough for sex in Hinduism I belong00:05:13
to one particular sect uh00:05:15
our symbol is the three white lines to00:05:18
cross the forehead they're made out of00:05:19
Ash the first line represents your ego00:05:22
and quite often you know around in00:05:24
spirituality you hear people say that00:05:26
people often refer to Ego as a bad thing00:05:29
it has a negative connotation and and we00:05:32
should get rid of our ego our philosophy00:05:35
is that everyone has an ego the very00:05:37
fact that you have a personality that00:05:39
you have preferences you prefer thin00:05:42
crust preset Pizza of a thick crust00:05:44
pizza you like this you don't like that00:05:46
means you have a personality you have an00:05:49
ego the goal is to not get rid of the00:05:51
ego but rather to cultivate a positive00:05:53
ego someone who's kind who has empathy00:05:56
compassion who's industrious who's uh00:05:59
generous who's loving00:06:02
that's the goal to cultivate a positive00:06:04
figure because you can't live without an00:06:06
ego the second line represents Karma00:06:10
every thought word and deed has a00:06:14
reaction now if I can be very00:06:16
intentional about what I think what I00:06:18
say and what I do I can control a lot of00:06:21
what happens in my life00:06:23
the other part of it that's only 50 of00:06:25
karma the other 50 of karma that people00:06:27
don't talk about Ryan is the the00:06:30
reaction00:06:32
if someone comes up to me and says hey00:06:35
John The Bunny The shawl you're wearing00:06:36
is quite ugly I have a choice to Hidden00:06:39
or say what a great opportunity to go00:06:42
shopping and if I how I react determines00:06:46
so much of my outcome in life so karma00:06:49
has two sites we can control our actions00:06:51
and reactions we can control so much of00:06:55
what happens in our life and then the00:06:57
third line is uh delusion meaning that00:07:00
quite often in life we get caught up00:07:02
with people and things that don't really00:07:04
matter and we forget the people and00:07:08
things that do matter in our life so it00:07:10
encourages us the third line to Define00:07:13
our purpose00:07:14
have our purpose in life Define our00:07:17
priorities in life00:07:19
then cultivate unwavering Focus so that00:07:23
we can focus on our priorities00:07:25
the byproduct of that is we lead a happy00:07:29
life for a joyous life a purposeful life00:07:32
a Content life so that on a death bed we00:07:36
can look back on our life and go that00:07:38
was an amazing life I led but but there00:07:42
needs to be a structured systematic00:07:45
approach to it and if there's no00:07:47
structure in a process then00:07:49
quite often we don't get to where we00:07:51
want to go yeah what what is a day in00:07:55
the life like of a monk so you did this00:07:58
for 10 years it sounds like you're00:08:00
you're in a way blocked off from the00:08:03
rest of the world your friends your00:08:05
family for the most part and you spent a00:08:08
decade that's a long time it's been a00:08:09
decade doing that so what's a typical00:08:11
day like when you were doing that00:08:15
uh the general schedule for Monks at00:08:18
least in our Monastery was a we had to00:08:21
gather in the temple at 5 30 in the00:08:23
morning so I typically woke up between 400:08:25
AM and 4 or 10 a.m depending on how00:08:28
tired I was I would shower I would do my00:08:31
own morning routines and then at 5 10 500:08:34
30 I would gather with the monks in the00:08:36
temple we'd do a traditional Hindu00:08:38
ritual worship ritual for half an hour00:08:41
and then we only meditated from six to00:08:43
seven so country to what most people00:08:44
think that monks meditated all day we00:08:47
meditated for an hour in the morning my00:08:49
group believed in quality as opposed to00:08:52
quantity00:08:54
and we'll dive into some of that maybe00:08:57
in a little bit and then after that you00:08:59
know we exercised for half an hour that00:09:01
was a very important part of our routine00:09:02
that all the monks had to exercise and00:09:05
we had breakfast and then the months we00:09:07
divided into five groups five00:09:09
departments00:09:10
um one Department looked after the00:09:12
grounds and The Organic Farm we had and00:09:16
the livestock cows another department00:09:20
managed the digital publishing and print00:09:24
publishing we had so all the moments had00:09:26
Max we flat screen monitors we published00:09:29
we had podcasts we had blogs published00:09:32
books we had one of probably the last00:09:34
largest website in the state of Hawaii00:09:36
for a long time probably still with us00:09:38
uh and then another group amongst your00:09:41
care finances so we would do that and00:09:44
then one o'clock we break for lunch for00:09:46
half an hour then we took a 90-minute00:09:48
siesta a little nap since we woke up00:09:50
early went back to work from about three00:09:52
to six then we would take another break00:09:55
uh watch a little TV at 7 pm all the00:09:59
months with what's in a in a whole room00:10:01
we'd hang out and watch some TV and then00:10:02
go to bed at night00:10:04
wow all right yeah and you do that for00:10:07
10 years00:10:09
10 years yes wow okay what made you00:10:12
wonderful team was a little bit00:10:14
different uh in the last six and a half00:10:17
years that the monastery had a temple a00:10:20
house at the pool where we have a vigil00:10:23
system so uh every three hours one Monk00:10:27
had to be in the temple doing practices00:10:30
and rituals and things like that so00:10:34
um for about six and a half years me and00:10:37
another Monk alternated during the00:10:39
midnight routine so I was awake from00:10:41
Midnight to 3 A.M during my ritual so I00:10:43
would go to bed around 8 30 wake up at00:10:45
11 30 at night come in to the main00:10:48
building shower change get in the temple00:10:51
then from Midnight to 3 A.M I would do00:10:54
my practices00:10:55
and then go to bed at 3 20 and then wake00:10:58
up again at 7 30 and carry on with my00:11:00
day00:11:01
wow what made you not want to continue00:11:06
um my Guru died three years after I00:11:10
joined the monastery and that was a very00:11:11
difficult time fault amongst a lot of00:11:14
things changed I felt after that we were00:11:17
not completely aligned I stayed for00:11:19
seven more years and I felt our paths00:11:23
were different and when my vows came up00:11:25
for Renewal I decided not to renew it so00:11:28
what are the vowels it sounds like00:11:30
something like a marriage in a way like00:11:32
you you that's what we do yeah is it00:11:34
like that or what's it like00:11:36
yeah we we take formal vows where we we00:11:40
read out loud the vows we're taking we00:11:42
you know there's a few page description00:11:44
for each of the vowels we sign in a00:11:47
monastic book acknowledging we're taking00:11:49
those vowels there's a formal ceremony00:11:51
uh that's about humility for example00:11:54
um bow of obedience you know uh not00:11:58
something people like to do in the00:12:00
outside world obedience uh uh about00:12:04
confidence00:12:06
and things like so we take a few vows00:12:09
celibacy is one of them and so that's00:12:12
part becomes and then those vowels get00:12:14
renewed every two years00:12:18
and then you reinstate your vows again00:12:20
same way that people would reinstate00:12:22
their marriage vows sometimes for00:12:24
example we in a lot of the people I00:12:27
speak with here Don napani's talk about00:12:30
the00:12:32
importance and power of mentors and00:12:35
their life and how influential whether00:12:38
it's a coach a teacher a parent a friend00:12:41
and in your book you write the numerous00:12:44
points of the dedication and the00:12:46
acknowledgments it's all over the place00:12:48
and you quote him00:12:50
um I'm not going to try to say his name00:12:52
because I'll butcher the pronunciation00:12:53
so I'll let you do that but can you00:12:55
share the importance and the power uh00:12:58
you called him your Guru of the your00:13:01
Mentor slash Guru in your life00:13:05
yeah no I think it's highly important uh00:13:07
we don't know what we don't know right00:13:09
so it's easier to have someone guide us00:13:11
and train us and my Guru super Municipal00:13:15
I mean it's his name of gurudeva as we00:13:17
call him as I referred to him in my book00:13:20
uh is my teacher who trained me you know00:13:24
a lot before I joined the monastery00:13:26
while I was there he ordained me as a00:13:28
monk uh and and he trained me00:13:32
I mean he he he is and I think will00:13:35
always be the biggest influence in my00:13:37
life uh he is completely changed my life00:13:40
but the importance of having a mentors00:13:42
having someone who's walked down the00:13:44
path who knows the path really well and00:13:47
can guide you along the way uh his role00:13:50
is not that it's solve my problems his00:13:53
role is that to Empower me with tools to00:13:57
help me gain a better perspective00:14:01
to support me in using the tools00:14:05
correctly answering my questions but00:14:07
then the burden of responsibility should00:14:10
always be on me00:14:12
and I think that's an important part00:14:14
quite often in in spirituality with so00:14:18
many gurus around nowadays like they're00:14:20
all over the place a student can put the00:14:24
responsibility on the guru the group00:14:26
takes all the responsibility he's the00:14:28
all-knowing enlightened being that can00:14:31
wave his hand and solve all your00:14:33
problems my Guru never took that00:14:35
approach he he placed 100 of that00:14:38
responsibility on me and I'll give you00:14:39
an example Ryan you know he he would00:14:41
share tools with us some of the tools I00:14:43
mentioned in the book00:14:46
teaches how to practice the tools I go00:14:49
away to do it I come back you know a00:14:52
month later you know I'd be in the00:14:54
monastery you know I have a problem I00:14:56
come to see him I sit down with him and00:14:59
I say gurudeva I'm having these problems00:15:01
blah blah blah I spend five minutes00:15:02
explaining to him my problems he'll look00:15:04
at me and he goes are you practicing00:15:06
what I taught you and 99 of the time my00:15:11
aunt says no I would say no and then I00:15:13
would get up and leave00:15:14
and what is that he talked about right00:15:18
yeah00:15:19
he gave me a tool I didn't practice it00:15:22
so why am I coming back to him and00:15:25
that's when I knew he he was a great00:15:27
teacher for me because he he empowered00:15:31
me00:15:32
with the responsibility to take charge00:15:34
of my life and create the changes I want00:15:37
and not leave on him00:15:38
he was merely a guide yeah but God I00:15:42
feel like the best mentors don't give00:15:44
you the answers they pose questions to00:15:47
you that then helped you find the answer00:15:52
on your own because you're much more apt00:15:53
to follow the advice if it's your own00:15:55
advice or you figured it out like you00:15:57
got it yourself that's what I feel like00:15:59
the best of the best00:16:01
and the mentors that I've had that's00:16:03
what they're good at they don't just say00:16:04
hey do this00:16:06
they'll start posing questions and they00:16:08
make me think00:16:10
and in that regard then when I'm able to00:16:13
find out or figure it out on my own with00:16:16
obviously their prompts and their00:16:18
questions that's so much more powerful00:16:20
than just telling me what to do00:16:23
for sure one of my favorite books of all00:16:26
time is uh Think and Grow Rich by00:16:28
Napoleon Hill I don't know if you've00:16:29
ever read that book but you know I think00:16:33
it was written like almost 100 years or00:16:35
so ago but he in that book doesn't give00:16:38
away his his secret he numerous times00:16:41
says and I'm not going to tell you the00:16:43
answer is in these Pages you have to00:16:45
figure it out yourself and if you figure00:16:46
out yourself00:16:47
through that experience of figuring it00:16:49
out it will change you00:16:51
but it doesn't outline and tell you in00:16:54
bold is what I'm trying to tell you he00:16:56
wants you to figure it out you know but00:16:58
he guides you he creates all the00:17:00
framework for you to figure out and if00:17:01
you can pay attention and read it and00:17:03
understand it and I think that's you00:17:06
know my teacher took a lot of that00:17:07
approach of helping me to experience it00:17:10
within myself and00:17:12
and and he had a beautiful saying he00:17:14
said once you experience something you00:17:16
can't unexperience it and I really like00:17:18
that so once you have a realization of00:17:21
something you can't unrealize it and00:17:23
that's when true learning happens right00:17:25
when you have a realization of something00:17:26
it transforms you your lifestyle becomes00:17:30
different the way you live the way you00:17:32
think changes00:17:34
uh merely learning doesn't always change00:17:37
your lifestyle yeah well it's funny in00:17:40
the uh the the FAQ section of your00:17:43
website the last question is are you are00:17:47
you a guru and and the then it's a00:17:50
one-word answer no uh do you do but do00:17:54
you play that Guru role for I mean it's00:17:56
kind of your work isn't it you're an00:17:57
advisor you're like so do you think00:17:59
others that hire you that work with you00:18:02
they View at least as an advisor Mentor00:18:06
maybe a guru00:18:09
I never portray or convey myself as a00:18:13
guru because the00:18:14
you know I think maybe in Western00:18:16
Society it's not so clear what the00:18:19
definition of a guru is in the eastern00:18:21
Faith or in Hinduism a guru takes deep00:18:24
responsibility over a person's life uh00:18:27
there's a almost a form contract signed00:18:30
where00:18:31
you know we're in a guru disciple00:18:33
relationship now and that was00:18:37
when I got to know my Guru we spent a00:18:40
process of two years almost three years00:18:43
of getting to know each other before he00:18:46
would accept me as a student00:18:48
and he would allow me to accept him as a00:18:51
guru00:18:52
and then we signed a formal contract of00:18:55
working with each other in a very deep00:18:58
meaningful way00:19:00
wow so with with my clients I'm an00:19:04
advisor I look at myself as a school00:19:06
teacher you come to my class I teach you00:19:08
math one plus one equals two two plus00:19:10
two equals four00:19:12
and then after class you go home00:19:15
I don't take responsibility of your life00:19:18
what happens at home what are you doing00:19:19
with your wife with your husband with00:19:21
your kids that's not my role you know my00:19:24
role is to share with you insights on00:19:26
the Mind tools that can help you help00:19:30
you clarify the path the purpose the00:19:33
ability to focus help you practice Focus00:19:35
then you it's your responsibility now to00:19:38
to go and do the homework00:19:41
I think a lot of people take on the rule00:19:44
of the role of the guru where you've00:19:47
become almost like a messiah figure00:19:48
right of like I'm going to solve your00:19:51
problems for you I'm going to give you a00:19:53
mantra Orion that you can use now to00:19:55
solve your problems like it doesn't work00:19:57
that way00:19:58
but there's a lot of might need to be00:20:00
made that way00:20:01
yeah00:20:03
uh yeah certainly a lot of that out00:20:05
there your focus00:20:07
uh is on the power of unwavering Focus00:20:11
uh this this the book that's publishing00:20:14
now00:20:15
and one I first in the way the book's00:20:19
structured it's it's I think it's00:20:21
helpful because you're sharing kind of00:20:22
the importance of why that you should00:20:25
view this as being important and then00:20:28
some more stories as well as than tools00:20:30
and I love to dig into that right now to00:20:33
start in sequential order for one why is00:20:37
this something that's so important for00:20:40
people to learn right now00:20:43
because ultimately I think most humans00:20:47
want to live a happy life00:20:51
this is what I'm about to say is not00:20:54
based on any research or data but I'm00:20:56
assuming and I emphasize assuming most00:20:59
people don't get up saying I want to00:21:01
have a miserable day today00:21:04
I'm assuming most people don't say that00:21:06
most people wake up when you have every00:21:08
day a decent day you know so how do we00:21:12
have a good day we have we need Clarity00:21:16
of who and what's important in our life00:21:17
and we need the ability like I said to00:21:19
be able to focus on that00:21:22
because the byproduct of that is we feel00:21:26
we're living a rewarding life we can't00:21:29
discover our purpose in life our00:21:31
priorities in life if we can't focus00:21:34
if I wanted to get to know you Ryan I00:21:37
could Google00:21:40
stalk you online for a little while but00:21:42
if I really wanted to get to know you if00:21:45
every week you and I got together we00:21:46
hung out had a cup of coffee a glass of00:21:49
wine for an hour or two hours00:21:51
for a whole year after a year you and I00:21:53
would know each other really well00:21:54
because we spent a lot of intimate time00:21:56
together in in in in good conversation00:22:00
if you don't spend time with yourself in00:22:03
self-reflection00:22:04
how would you get to know yourself and00:22:07
if you did spend time with yourself00:22:09
every day in self-reflection but you00:22:11
couldn't focus long enough to keep your00:22:13
attention in yourself00:22:15
how would you get to know you00:22:18
so I take 10 minutes out a day or half00:22:21
an hour a day to reflect on myself but I00:22:25
can't focus Ryan and because I can't00:22:27
focus00:22:28
I can't even pause for a second to look00:22:31
inside my head to see what it is I want00:22:33
because after two seconds and then00:22:35
what's the noise artifact or maybe I00:22:37
should be doing this why am I sitting00:22:39
here should I have pizza for lunch today00:22:40
or should I have pasta I don't know I00:22:42
had pasta yesterday maybe I'll have00:22:43
something different today maybe a00:22:45
Chinese food I don't know I mean what do00:22:46
you think I should have00:22:48
and then what's happened all the way so00:22:50
that's why I start with photos in the00:22:52
book even though I empathize so much on00:22:54
the importance of discovering one's00:22:56
purpose in life defining one's00:22:57
priorities00:22:58
the ability to focus allows you to00:23:01
discover that which then allows you to00:23:04
live a purpose-focused life the00:23:07
byproduct you live a happy a rewarding a00:23:10
Content life which ultimately I feel a00:23:12
lot of people want00:23:15
there's a00:23:17
this amazing Johnny Ive video I don't00:23:20
know if you've seen this he was on stage00:23:21
it was a q a portion of a talk Johnny00:23:23
Ive was like the lead designer at Apple00:23:26
for many years he worked very close with00:23:29
Steve Jobs for a long time and they00:23:32
asked him about what made Steve so good00:23:34
and Steve would always pose these00:23:38
questions to him about00:23:40
Johnny how many amazingly awesome ideas00:23:44
and things you were excited about have00:23:46
you said no to recently because that's00:23:50
how I know you're focused and and Johnny00:23:53
said I've never seen anybody be as00:23:55
focused as him on on narrowing down and00:23:59
saying no to the really good stuff in00:24:02
order to say yes to the amazingly00:24:05
awesome stuff and I couldn't help but00:24:08
think of that video when I was reading00:24:10
your book on focus and just I love to00:24:13
hear kind of your high level00:24:15
feelings and philosophy on focus and how00:24:19
we can get better at it00:24:22
and just to before we dive into that00:24:24
just to add to what you're saying you00:24:27
can only say yes to something you can00:24:29
only say no to something sorry if you00:24:32
knew what you were saying yesterday00:24:34
um00:24:36
and how do you know what to say yes to00:24:38
you need to know your purpose00:24:42
you need to know your priorities you00:24:44
need to Define that first00:24:46
because how can I know what to say no to00:24:49
if I don't even know what I'm saying yes00:24:51
to00:24:52
how do I know what I don't want in life00:24:55
if I don't even know what I want in life00:24:57
if you take a teenager00:25:00
and Austin what do you want to do in00:25:02
school what do you want to study in00:25:03
college what do you want to be00:25:05
I don't know no idea and Society00:25:09
encourages that right it encourages that00:25:12
by saying you're so young you don't need00:25:14
to have it all figured out take your00:25:16
time discover travel explore do all00:25:19
these things00:25:21
I'm I'm not aligned with that because I00:25:25
am more of the belief that if I can00:25:30
discover sooner in life what it is I'm00:25:33
truly passionate about00:25:35
that drives me that wakes me up in the00:25:37
morning00:25:38
it's better for me to spend most of my00:25:40
life living that life than to spend a00:25:43
majority of my life looking for00:25:45
something that I'm passionate about and00:25:47
I give a very simple analogy if a girl00:25:49
wants to buy a beautiful dress to wear a00:25:52
beautiful dress is it better for the00:25:54
girl to spend00:25:55
five and a half months looking for that00:25:58
dress and then two weeks wearing it or00:26:01
spend two days looking for the dress and00:26:03
then spend five and a half months00:26:04
wearing the dress00:26:07
I think people would rather find the00:26:09
dress and enjoy have the experience of00:26:12
wearing it same with life we are here00:26:14
for a finite time Ryan on this planet we00:26:17
don't have infinite amount of time and00:26:19
if we had infinite amount of life we00:26:21
wouldn't have this discussion our life00:26:23
is finite so get clear right away as00:26:26
early as possible00:26:28
what drives you what wakes you up in the00:26:31
morning what do you love what are you00:26:32
passionate about and then spend your00:26:34
life living that life the byproduct of00:26:37
that is like you live an amazing life so00:26:40
I think00:26:42
there are Skeptics to this that say good00:26:45
for you Don deponie and even even for me00:26:47
because I I feel like I'm I'm doing this00:26:49
I left Corporate America in 2017 to do00:26:52
this full-time and it's it's created a00:26:54
lot of Happiness the the day-to-day00:26:57
action has created a lot of Happiness00:26:59
kind of what you're talking about00:27:00
but for the person that has a mortgage00:27:03
and two car payments and there's the00:27:06
four 529 accounts for their kids and all00:27:09
the other stuff that goes along with00:27:11
that and they have a job as a VP of00:27:14
sales at a big company and they're00:27:15
making pretty good money and they feel00:27:17
very good about the fact that they're00:27:20
providing for their family and they're00:27:22
setting setting their kids up to to00:27:24
hopefully you know to support them00:27:26
they like their job they don't love it00:27:30
they like their company they don't love00:27:32
it but they don't also hate it so that's00:27:35
the person who's living like I I had00:27:37
Colin O'Brady odd we talked about living00:27:39
life of with ones and tens meaning like00:27:42
ones are the worst things and tens are00:27:43
the best and a lot of people are living00:27:45
like fives every day just fives five00:27:48
five five so for that person who's doing00:27:52
fine or even doing well but yeah not00:27:56
necessarily like00:27:58
you know the not not saying like you00:28:00
know I don't need to find my purpose00:28:02
dude I'm fine like I'm good I'm taking00:28:04
care of things but they also have this00:28:05
little thing in their mind and their00:28:07
hearts thinking00:28:10
there's got to be something more or else00:28:12
other than just this what do you say to00:28:14
that person00:28:17
okay I'm gonna make an assumption that00:28:19
the people that have that little thing00:28:21
in their mind saying they need to find00:28:23
their purpose are the only people00:28:24
listening to your podcast if they're00:28:26
interested in interest in learning about00:28:28
discovering their purpose they wouldn't00:28:30
be on the show or listening to this show00:28:32
because they go like this is a waste of00:28:34
time your show is about learning and00:28:36
growing about discovering so00:28:38
I think if you have a a job you're00:28:41
working for a company you're a senior VP00:28:43
of sales you're making good money00:28:44
there's absolutely nothing wrong with00:28:46
that but if that's an including there's00:28:49
an inclination inside of you that00:28:51
there's more that I could be doing in00:28:53
life there's something different I could00:28:54
be doing in life then start making a00:28:57
plan you know making an Exit Plan where00:28:59
you say okay00:29:01
first step00:29:03
let's take it system and accept00:29:05
how well can I focus00:29:08
if I can't focus00:29:10
I'm not trying to sell my book you can00:29:12
learn from somebody else buy my own00:29:14
wavering Focus book learn how to focus00:29:17
why because when you can learn to focus00:29:20
you can reflect00:29:22
long enough on yourself to figure out00:29:25
what it is you're passionate about00:29:26
because that's why ultimately we want to00:29:28
get to right what drives you every day00:29:31
so spend commit dedicate time over the00:29:36
next six months yeah a year and a half00:29:37
two years every day spend 15 20 minutes00:29:42
reflecting on your life of what it is00:29:45
you think drives you if you need get a00:29:48
mentor find someone who can help you00:29:49
discover your purpose and then build an00:29:52
exit plan if that's what you want to do00:29:54
you said you worked in Corporate America00:29:57
until 2017.00:30:01
but you found out that you wanted to do00:30:03
something different so you I'm assume00:30:06
came up with an Exit Plan came up with a00:30:08
strategy and shifted your focus to doing00:30:10
this and now you love for doing this it00:30:13
brings you Joy I'm not saying other00:30:15
people can't can't do that as well and00:30:17
I'm not saying that everybody should00:30:18
leave the corporate America world and00:30:20
start the podcast to do something but00:30:22
you need to ask yourself what drives you00:30:24
in the morning what wakes you up and if00:30:26
you feel that yes you're happy doing00:30:28
this job it provides your family and all00:30:29
of that is good I'm not saying it's bad00:30:31
but if that's like you're saying Ryan an00:30:34
inclination inside of you that says00:30:37
something more that I want to be doing00:30:40
then pursue that Define that articulate00:30:43
that really really clearly00:30:45
and begin the process of Shifting your00:30:48
focus to that but make sure that00:30:51
whatever it is you're going to do can00:30:52
sustain00:30:53
everything you've created which is a00:30:55
home your kids your family your spouse00:30:58
provide for them as well right yeah00:31:00
that's critical I had a good friend of00:31:02
mine sorry Ryan one last thought a good00:31:04
friend of mine said to me00:31:07
um who was very successful at what he00:31:08
did he said it's important to do in life00:31:11
what you're passionate about but what00:31:12
you're passionate about should also be00:31:14
able to make you money00:31:16
that was a big part of my decision to00:31:19
leave was00:31:21
listening to what the market told me you00:31:25
know I was maximizing every PTO paid00:31:27
time off every vacation day to go give00:31:31
speeches and to work with other with00:31:33
people that were not eventually became00:31:35
clients and at that point you're I was00:31:37
kind of like hey the market has actually00:31:39
giving me these very positive signals it00:31:42
wasn't like oh I'm gonna cross my00:31:43
fingers and hope for the best the market00:31:45
had told me for a while now if I went00:31:48
all in I felt like there was a chance so00:31:50
that's it wasn't just a hope and a00:31:52
prayer it was there was there was real00:31:54
evidence there that I think was helpful00:31:59
yes and you know sometimes when I say00:32:02
this people go like oh you don't00:32:03
understand we're busy we have so many00:32:05
things going on and I I think what a lot00:32:08
of people do is is complicate we00:32:10
complicate our lives we are doing too00:32:13
much you know there's a common phrase00:32:15
Ryan that people say oh we just need to00:32:18
slow down00:32:20
I don't think that's the right words00:32:22
choice of words it's not like we're00:32:25
eating faster or peeing faster00:32:28
which is doing too many things I had a00:32:31
lady come up to me and say at an event00:32:33
on the pony you don't understand you00:32:35
know I take my kids to school and I pick00:32:38
them up and then off to school I take00:32:39
them to uh basketball clubs and after00:32:41
basketball they have piano and after00:32:43
piano he has extra math class and the00:32:46
next day after school I take him for00:32:47
archery and after archery is kayaking I00:32:50
pause and I said are you training your00:32:51
son to be James Bond she goes what do00:32:54
you mean I said well Gene Swan's the00:32:55
only person I know who can do everything00:32:57
right he's good at archery he can fly a00:33:00
plane he can shoot a gun he can dance00:33:01
he's an animal in bed why is your son00:33:04
doing five million things00:33:05
right00:33:07
pick one or two things and train to be00:33:10
good at that00:33:11
we we create such complicated lines so00:33:16
for the VPO sales in the company who has00:33:18
three kids a spouse00:33:21
simplify your life if you need time for00:33:24
reflection and you say you don't have00:33:26
time that means you have too many things00:33:28
going on in your life simply find a00:33:30
number of people in your life simplify00:33:32
the number of things you're doing make00:33:34
choices I hardly watch TV00:33:37
not because I feel out of some moral you00:33:41
know righteousness I love TV it's just00:33:44
it's not a priority for me I watched a00:33:46
movie on the weekend with my wife and00:33:48
that's pretty much about it because I00:33:50
have other things that are bigger00:33:51
priorities in my life and I simplify my00:33:54
life to the most important things00:33:56
because I know I have a finite amount of00:33:58
time and finite an amount of energy each00:34:00
day and I need to proportionately invest00:34:04
them into those things and I emphasize00:34:06
the word proportionately00:34:08
so if self-reflect if pursuing a purpose00:34:14
is important in discovering purpose is00:34:15
important then you need to00:34:18
dedicate a portion of that time and00:34:20
energy towards self-reflection and00:34:22
seeing yes to that means saying no to00:34:24
someone or something else00:34:27
um okay let's get practical00:34:30
somebody who has not done a ton of00:34:33
self-reflection00:34:35
and doesn't fully understand their00:34:37
purpose00:34:38
what's the first few things they should00:34:41
do00:34:43
okay and and I I I'll repeat things and00:34:47
I always repeating first step learn to00:34:49
focus right because you can't focus you00:34:52
can't self-reflect you can't stay on00:34:54
something long enough to actually00:34:55
understand it which is you it's what00:34:57
you're trying to understand the second00:34:58
step is I would say uh dedicate some00:35:01
time in the morning and my00:35:03
recommendation is the first thing in the00:35:04
morning so as soon as you wake up answer00:35:06
the call of nature find a quiet space in00:35:09
your house spend 10 minutes or five00:35:12
minutes even and00:35:14
in self-reflection so a few things here00:35:18
Ryan don't listen to music because music00:35:20
will guide your awareness in different00:35:22
areas of the mind don't read any books00:35:24
this is a time for you to get to know00:35:26
you how do you spend time in00:35:28
self-reflection the same way if I was00:35:31
going to get to know you and we were00:35:32
hanging out for coffee every week I00:35:34
would ask you questions Ryan you said00:35:36
your dad how many kids do you have00:35:39
how long have you been married you know00:35:40
do you like your kids you know uh what00:35:43
do you enjoy doing with your kids and00:35:46
initially the questions are going to be00:35:47
a very surface level of like you know00:35:49
what you like eating whether you like00:35:51
traveling as we get to know each other00:35:53
more and more every week we might start00:35:55
getting into much deeper profound00:35:57
questions of like you know you're happy00:36:00
in life what does life really mean to00:36:01
you what do you want out of life00:36:05
same thing if I never spend time with00:36:08
myself how would I get to know myself00:36:09
most people won't commit that time in00:36:13
having a conversation this is not a00:36:15
meditation Ryan00:36:16
it is a simple conversation the same00:36:19
conversation I would have with you to00:36:20
get to know you I'm having with me00:36:23
and now people will say oh you don't00:36:25
understand I have kids well if you have00:36:28
a spouse have your spouse duct tape your00:36:31
kids together for like five minutes so00:36:33
you can go sit down by yourself I have a00:36:36
daughter00:36:37
but you know what if I asked to my wife00:36:39
hey can you keep you and my daughter can00:36:42
you guys hang out just for 10 minutes I00:36:44
just need 10 minutes by myself in the00:36:46
morning or five minutes she's gonna say00:36:48
yes she's not gonna say no00:36:51
so it's not hot we just have to be00:36:53
making a priority and we have to make it00:36:55
something we want to do and most people00:36:57
fail Ryan because they don't have the00:37:01
patience the perseverance to stick with00:37:04
it until they find the answer they do it00:37:06
for a week or two weeks and they go like00:37:07
I'm not getting anywhere but it's like a00:37:09
more important things to do and then00:37:10
they wander off00:37:12
but unless you have Clarity or purpose00:37:14
everything else in life becomes very00:37:16
blurry00:37:19
what are some of the prompts the00:37:21
questions you should ask yourself if00:37:24
you're going to start this practice00:37:25
tomorrow morning let's say and like wait00:37:27
when I'm done to party what am I00:37:29
supposed to do like what do I say what00:37:30
do I answer like what are what are what00:37:32
do we actually do during that alone time00:37:36
okay so ask yourself questions a simple00:37:38
question am I happy00:37:40
do I love what I'm doing what drives me00:37:43
and you may not have answers right away00:37:46
and you can ask yourself the same00:37:48
question every single day and maybe00:37:51
sometimes you need to prompt your mind00:37:54
over and over again with the same00:37:56
question before it gives an answer00:37:57
you've all seen Hollywood movies in the00:38:00
interrogation room00:38:01
the guy keeps asking the same question00:38:03
and what does the person say I already00:38:05
told you I don't know what you're00:38:07
talking about and then you know an hour00:38:08
into the movie they break and they go00:38:10
like okay I'll tell you everything right00:38:13
the mind works the same way by asking00:38:15
yourself the same question over and over00:38:17
again what's important to me what what00:38:19
do I really love what brings me joy when00:38:22
I do it what brings me joy or happiness00:38:26
when I spend time with him who brings me00:38:28
that happiness who lights me up who00:38:31
invigorates me what integrates me00:38:34
and if you don't have analysis that's00:38:36
okay ask yourself the same question the00:38:38
next day and the next day and the next00:38:40
day if you do it month after month you00:38:42
will start to find an answer00:38:44
all the answers are inside of you you00:38:46
just haven't spent enough time digging00:38:50
to discover it00:38:52
and and to be able to focus long enough00:38:55
to actually see if I picked a thousand00:38:57
page book Ryan and I just flip through00:38:59
fan through the pages00:39:01
I would get no information whatsoever if00:39:04
I picked a thousand page book I randomly00:39:06
opened it focused on one page and read00:39:09
it I would actually see00:39:11
get some value from it and your mind is00:39:14
like a thousand page book00:39:16
you're just Fanning through it all day00:39:19
long because that's what you've been00:39:21
trained to do let's not make Instagram00:39:23
reels longer than 90 seconds you know00:39:25
because that's how long people can pay00:39:27
attention everything needs to be quick00:39:28
tidbits quick little bites00:39:31
so now we were trained to think that way00:39:33
so when we look at our mind we just see00:39:34
little pieces of things we don't stay in00:39:37
one place long enough to actually go in00:39:40
narrow and deep and discover something00:39:42
and this is what this whole process of00:39:45
self-reflection and having a00:39:46
conversation is going narrow deep inside00:39:48
of yourself to discover Who You Are00:39:51
it's the greatest gift you can give00:39:53
yourself00:39:55
and then what's the next step let's say00:39:57
you get you get a good habit you're00:39:59
you're starting to find some answers00:40:01
you're you're getting somewhere you're00:40:03
doing something you've never done before00:40:05
and it's been a few months let's say00:40:06
you're like all right I think I love00:40:08
this or that I mean that that that00:40:10
doesn't mean you quit your job or you00:40:12
start something else like what's the00:40:14
next step then after let's say you start00:40:16
to get good at focusing on00:40:18
self-reflection and you're actually00:40:20
doing it what's next00:40:23
so for example you say you know00:40:25
something that really I'm passionate00:40:27
about and I love doing is carpentry00:40:30
right so then that's do what Ryan did00:40:33
test the market00:40:35
make furniture try selling it you know00:40:39
put it on eBay maybe create a little00:40:41
business on the side yes you have a00:40:43
nine-to-five job you have kids you work00:40:45
hard but you know start making stuff try00:40:48
and see what the market says if they00:40:50
like how they respond to it how did you00:40:52
do it Ryan you tested it right you00:40:55
tested and tested it and see how people00:40:56
responded well and and especially with00:40:59
me I left the monastery yeah I had to00:41:01
test as well yeah what did you do like00:41:04
how did you find the market because00:41:06
there's no guarantee just because of00:41:07
your history that people are going to00:41:09
want to start paying you so you had to00:41:12
you had to figure out like what did you00:41:13
do00:41:14
yeah I test I tested first with you know00:41:18
I mean look I I had gone from the00:41:20
University to a monastery so no real00:41:24
world experience I never worked in a00:41:26
business before I never worked for00:41:27
anybody a nine-to-five job in my life I00:41:29
mean I did I worked as a dishwasher and00:41:31
things like that to earn money but uh so00:41:35
I went to the first natural place I00:41:37
thought people would listen it would00:41:38
probably be a yoga studio you know so I00:41:41
would do weekend workshops at Hugo00:41:44
Studios teaching about the mind and00:41:46
focus and saw how people responded and00:41:49
reacted and adjusted my content to help00:41:52
people because my training was different00:41:54
so I needed to adjust what I learned to00:41:58
how people in the world needed them and00:42:00
you know after after a few years I you00:42:02
know I then I started speaking to00:42:04
entrepreneurs and I realized that they00:42:07
were my audience they were my clients00:42:09
they we were most aligned I found00:42:12
greater attraction with entrepreneurs I00:42:15
found I was reacting better responding00:42:18
better they brought more out of me and00:42:21
then I just kept refining and refining00:42:23
but this is over a period of years it00:42:26
didn't happen overnight this took you00:42:28
know eight nine years00:42:30
to the crystallize00:42:32
you know to to get that Niche and I'm00:42:35
willing to take time and that's where I00:42:37
feel people are not willing to take time00:42:38
they're not willing to dedicate time00:42:40
they expect to find their purpose of00:42:41
life right away00:42:43
you know give me a cheat sheet on how to00:42:45
find it all should find it by this00:42:47
weekend and then I can sign living my00:42:49
purpose it doesn't work that way00:42:52
when you have to want it right right and00:42:55
that's the other thing most people don't00:42:57
desire something badly enough and that's00:42:59
why they never get it how badly do you00:43:02
want it00:43:04
that's the question asked how badly do00:43:06
you want to find your purpose00:43:08
yeah what is your purpose00:43:12
my purpose in life is self-realization00:43:14
or Enlightenment and in the Hindu00:43:18
philosophy a simplified version of it00:43:21
would be00:43:22
we believe that God one aspect of God is00:43:26
pure intelligent energy that permeates00:43:28
everything so the energy inside of me00:43:30
you the trees the stones00:43:33
through deep meditation I go within me00:43:36
and experience that Divinity inside of00:43:39
me00:43:40
to realize that Divinity is inside of me00:43:42
as well as being in everything else that00:43:45
would be one aspect of that00:43:47
Enlightenment of self-realization00:43:51
so that would be my core purpose in life00:43:54
and I always tell people that everyone00:43:55
needs a core purpose in life and then00:43:58
everyone should have such purposes in00:43:59
life and core purpose should never be00:44:01
dependent on anyone or anything because00:44:04
if you make your call purpose dependent00:44:05
on someone or something and if someone00:44:07
or something goes away then you you have00:44:09
no purpose yeah00:44:11
this um00:44:13
again it could be said well sounds good00:44:16
but self-realization doesn't pay the00:44:20
bills and I got a lot of bills00:44:22
what about to that and I realize this is00:44:25
I'm not doing it just for the sake of00:44:27
doing it I'm doing it because I know00:44:29
these are questions I receive and00:44:31
questions that I have quite frankly00:44:32
about about yeah hey we also have to00:44:35
have to again provide Economic Security00:44:39
for our family and that's a huge00:44:41
priority uh certainly for me it is what00:44:44
about to that like hey that sounds good00:44:46
but to some people that sounds kind of00:44:48
woo-woo and not really dude how are you00:44:51
paying the bills00:44:53
that that's people00:44:56
assuming that I have no bills to pay I00:44:59
have a crapload of bills to pay every00:45:00
day00:45:02
even even yeah people people look at me00:45:05
and go like oh yes Pepper's00:45:07
self-realization like what about00:45:08
bill'sai are they assuming that I don't00:45:11
work that I don't have to buy food that00:45:13
food's delivered to my house for free00:45:15
every day and like just do this no I'm00:45:17
like what does self-realization lead to00:45:19
you know what I mean what does00:45:21
self-realization lead to00:45:23
self-realization leads to well again it00:45:26
comes down to what philosophy you00:45:28
believe right I I am a Hindu so in My00:45:31
Philosophy that I subscribe to the goal00:45:34
in life is self-realization or00:45:35
Enlightenment to being realizing the00:45:38
highest version of you which is Divinity00:45:40
so that's my core purpose in life but00:45:42
yes I do have bills to pay I I send my00:45:45
daughter to school I pay for her00:45:47
schooling I keep the lights on I have00:45:49
employees pay my Internet bill and00:45:52
crapload of bills yeah you know to to00:45:55
pay we have a big project here in Costa00:45:57
Rica which we're developing that cost a00:45:59
crapload of money you know so00:46:03
even though that's my core purpose I00:46:06
still have things that I do every day00:46:08
that helps me generate income right so00:46:11
that doesn't mean if you have a call00:46:12
purpose that's Enlightenment you go and00:46:14
live in a cave up in a mountain and you00:46:16
don't do anything else that's not the00:46:17
case you can still lead a life where you00:46:21
have a job you have a business you have00:46:23
a company you have employees and still00:46:25
pursue a deeper inner life that you want00:46:29
to pursue if that's your goal now00:46:32
someone who's agnostic or or atheist and00:46:36
uh may not be religiously or spiritually00:46:38
inclined their corporation purpose in00:46:40
life could be to be the best version of00:46:42
myself00:46:44
version version 2.1 of Ryan00:46:48
is a better dad it's about a son it's00:46:51
about a husband is a better00:46:53
uh00:46:55
employee then version 2.0 so that could00:46:59
be your purpose in life so that's00:47:01
something that you strive to be every00:47:03
day but at the same time you you have00:47:07
things that you do to generate income to00:47:09
support all the things that you want00:47:12
when when you think about the people in00:47:14
your life00:47:15
that have I mean you you're surrounded00:47:19
by people who have who are quite00:47:21
accomplished you have been for for many00:47:23
years00:47:24
the ones who have sustained Excellence00:47:26
over an extended period of time what are00:47:29
the what are a few qualities slash00:47:32
behaviors that they all have seem to00:47:35
have in common00:47:38
Clarity of purpose00:47:41
being Crystal Clear what it is you want00:47:46
unquenchable desire00:47:49
an absolute burning desire for it and00:47:52
without desire for it you're never going00:47:54
to get it00:47:58
then I would say00:48:01
discrimination00:48:03
and discrimination meaning the ability00:48:06
to wisely00:48:09
discriminate00:48:11
what and who00:48:15
isn't aligned with what you're pursuing00:48:18
and what and who are not aligned with00:48:22
what you're pursuing00:48:24
so my goal in life is Enlightenment and00:48:27
self-realization00:48:29
that is my core purpose in life it helps00:48:33
me make very clear decisions every day what00:48:37
is supportive00:48:38
towards that and what is not who are the00:48:41
people00:48:42
that they should surround with that help00:48:45
me get there now there are people that00:48:48
love going to the bar to a pub you know00:48:51
five days a week getting smashed00:48:54
uh you know and going home absolutely00:48:57
nothing wrong with that I'm not saying00:48:59
go and do that is it aligned and00:49:01
supportive of where I want to go not00:49:03
really00:49:04
their music that support me in where I00:49:08
want to go and their music that don't00:49:11
support me where I want to go they're TV00:49:12
shows that support me where I want to go00:49:14
and some that don't books food drinks00:49:18
ways of living right so my purpose now00:49:23
helps me structure my lifestyle00:49:25
to go in the direction now go back to00:49:28
the nine to five VP of sales he can't00:49:31
change a lot of his environment because00:49:33
he's working for a company he has to00:49:35
work with people that are uplifting and00:49:36
not uplifting00:49:37
but he can certainly construct a lot of00:49:41
his life outside of work to help him00:49:45
support where he's going to go00:49:47
who are the people that are aligned00:49:50
what shows do we watch00:49:53
what music do we listen to what books do00:49:56
we read00:49:57
what foods do I eat is this food helping00:50:00
me to get to where I want to go are00:50:02
these drinks helping me to get to where00:50:04
I want to go00:50:06
where do I live being very intentional00:50:09
about everything but we can only be00:50:11
intentional if we know what we want00:50:13
now you hear people posting on Instagram00:50:16
all the time be present be intentional00:50:18
like how the hell are you going to be00:50:20
intentional if you don't even know what00:50:21
the hell you want you hot00:50:23
gotta start at the start which is learn00:50:26
how to focus to help you figure out what00:50:28
you want then you can be intentional00:50:31
and be present in those things00:50:34
can't be intentional if you don't know00:50:36
what you want00:50:37
that's why we have to start that and00:50:39
Iran you you you've worked with people00:50:42
you you've worked with entrepreneurs you00:50:44
have listeners clients or entrepreneurs00:50:47
tell me one company that's successful00:50:50
that has no Clarity of what they want in00:50:52
life in the in the company good point00:50:56
yeah every company tries so hard to00:50:59
figure out what is my product how can I00:51:02
better my product what are my services00:51:05
who are my clients what's my Niche00:51:08
client right and the more they can00:51:11
figure that out the more successful they00:51:13
become isn't set a fast statement00:51:16
so why don't we take that approach with00:51:19
our life somehow when it comes to00:51:21
entrepreneurship everyone's willing to00:51:24
do the work to figure all those things00:51:25
out get advisors get Consultants00:51:29
let's figure this out let's get it clear00:51:32
let's write it down a vision statement00:51:34
our mission statement our core values we00:51:37
all have to be aligned with this this00:51:39
direction we're going we're defined00:51:41
goals steps towards getting that when it00:51:43
comes to personal life spiritual and00:51:45
Problem whatever the hell Works life's a00:51:47
journey it's all about Discovery it's00:51:49
not about the destination who cares00:51:51
where you're going enjoy this your00:51:53
journey getting there00:51:54
and is it Carol Lewis Carroll that said00:51:57
if you don't know where you're going any00:51:59
road will get you that and that's how00:52:01
people lead their lives right00:52:04
it's a good point you think about it00:52:06
like there's a lot of time energy money00:52:09
spent on all of that stuff right the00:52:11
core values on the wall the creation00:52:12
division there's tons why do you think00:52:15
it is that way that there's so much of00:52:18
so many resources spent on that yet it's00:52:23
does you're right it seems like so00:52:26
little if any time money resources are00:52:29
spent on yourself00:52:32
not only on yourself on your family and00:52:35
your kids if your kids are 18 and00:52:37
they're lost and they have no idea what00:52:40
they want in life it's not their fault00:52:41
it's because in the first 18 years of00:52:43
their life nobody trained them gave them00:52:46
the respect the resources the money the00:52:49
time to help them figure out what they00:52:51
want in life your company would have no00:52:53
idea what it wants if you didn't spend00:52:56
the time the energy the resources and00:52:58
the collective group of Minds that sat00:53:01
together repeatedly over and over again00:53:03
to hash out what it is you want you00:53:06
don't do it as a family you don't have a00:53:09
collective group of people getting00:53:10
together every day the time the00:53:12
resources the energy dedicated to00:53:14
helping you figure out what you wanted00:53:16
live all your kids figuring out what you00:53:17
want in life so your kids get to 18.00:53:19
they have no idea what the hell they00:53:21
want so then all of a sudden you you cop00:53:23
out and give an AC experience that you00:53:25
don't have to have everything figured00:53:26
out at 18. that's just ridiculous you00:53:29
know enjoy life discover explore figure00:53:32
things this out why would you say the00:53:34
same thing with business00:53:36
I talk to entrepreneurs all the time in00:53:38
person I do workshops events with them00:53:40
I've asked this question this is an00:53:42
informal survey Ryan I'll say that a00:53:45
group of 100 entrepreneurs having00:53:47
successful companies sitting in with me00:53:49
in a room and I'll say to them I want00:53:50
all of you to go back to your companies00:53:52
today some have small companies 50 7000:53:54
people 100 people some have thousands of00:53:56
employees I want you to gather everyone00:53:58
together and say okay for the next one00:54:00
year I want you to go and do whatever00:54:03
you want to do our company is about00:54:06
good journey it's about discovering and00:54:10
having different experiences tomorrow00:54:12
you want to sell lawnmowers go ahead try00:54:14
that out see how it works for you00:54:18
we don't have to sell 3D printers once a00:54:20
lawn mowers go for it you want to sell00:54:22
washing machines tomorrow private00:54:23
experience let me know how it goes00:54:26
why don't we do that no one's ever put00:54:28
up their head and says okay I'm going to00:54:30
go back today I'm going to tell all my00:54:31
employees can do whatever the hell you00:54:33
want to do we don't have a Direction00:54:34
Just experience life experience our00:54:38
company no one does that so why don't we00:54:41
take the same approach with life because00:54:43
we don't want to dedicate time we don't00:54:45
want to do the hard work we don't want00:54:47
to sit down we don't get taught this in00:54:49
school our school system isn't built00:54:52
instead of teaching00:54:54
the freaking periodic table which I00:54:57
wasted so much so many years having00:54:59
freaking learned that dumb thing00:55:01
they should have been teaching me to how00:55:04
to focus how my mind works00:55:06
how to figure out what I'm passionate00:55:08
about00:55:09
how do I look at down the Pani and go00:55:11
what wakes him up in the morning it's00:55:13
all there if I'm focused I can be00:55:16
observant if I'm observant I can see my00:55:18
child what lights them up then I can00:55:21
start to nurture that instead of00:55:23
throwing 50 different things of the00:55:25
child saying Hey try this learn that do00:55:27
that do this I can say every time like I00:55:30
look at my daughter every time she hears00:55:32
music00:55:34
she wants to dance she loves having00:55:37
dance party at home three and a half00:55:39
years old so okay so we centered the00:55:42
dance classes she loves dance class00:55:45
right so now I start to nurture that00:55:49
then I see what else is interesting but00:55:51
I need to be observant right I need to00:55:53
stand back and observe in her00:55:55
what drives and then I start nurturing00:55:58
so instead of set instead of sending her00:56:00
to another class doing playing piano or00:56:03
or doing something totally random like00:56:05
tennis well why don't I invest time in00:56:08
sending how to dance because that's what00:56:10
lights up her eyes her life00:56:14
and we don't we don't spend any time00:56:16
Ryan00:56:17
to English for our kids for ourselves00:56:20
and then we'll wonder why we're lost but00:56:23
somehow when it comes to our companies00:56:24
we're willing to spend a crapload of00:56:26
money to do this in time and energy and00:56:29
resources00:56:31
that's a great point I I also think part00:56:34
of my motivation Don napani was in in00:56:38
doing this type of work was it you can00:56:43
in my house uh my wife and children you00:56:47
can feel the excitement and the love and00:56:51
the passion for what I do they can feel00:56:54
that energy versus the kind of trudging00:56:57
out oh God I gotta go to work and to me00:57:00
that's another big motivation that's a00:57:03
big part of like my purpose I think to00:57:05
let them know00:57:07
that that is possible it doesn't have to00:57:10
be the other way where it's like well I00:57:11
just got to go get a job like no you can00:57:14
build something you can do something00:57:16
that you're genuinely Juiced about every00:57:19
day I want them to know that like it's00:57:22
right there there's a living breathing00:57:24
example right next to them doing that00:57:26
that's a huge motivator too and so if if00:57:29
for those people who are thinking like00:57:30
oh I just need to do whatever because00:57:32
maybe they feel unselfish and they're00:57:34
they're putting others in front of00:57:36
themselves just know that that feeling00:57:40
that energy you give off to those around00:57:43
you they can sense that they're smart00:57:45
your spouse your kids they can feel if00:57:49
you have this love of The Craft or of00:57:51
the work and I think that gives them00:57:55
I could be wrong but I feel like that00:57:58
gives them a lot of inspiration and00:58:02
motivation to figure that out for00:58:04
themselves and so that it kind of starts00:58:06
with us as leaders in our households00:58:08
before anywhere else00:58:10
it does and and the other thing is00:58:14
giving them the training right right the00:58:16
resources the guidance when I'm a00:58:19
business owner when I don't understand00:58:20
something I hire someone to teach me or00:58:23
I have a mentor or a guide to help me00:58:26
understand how to run my business better00:58:28
all companies do that they no company is00:58:32
expected to know every single thing they00:58:35
hire people to help them in different00:58:36
areas so why don't we have guides why00:58:40
don't we take time out and say like okay00:58:42
who can help me figure out my purpose00:58:44
who can help my children figure out00:58:46
their purpose and player gain Clarity00:58:48
around these things00:58:50
we don't take that approach how are we00:58:53
supposed to know something we don't know00:58:57
so true uh00:58:59
thank you for for your work man I I00:59:02
really appreciate it like I obviously00:59:04
I'm trying to bring up all points of00:59:06
views and even some of the skepticism00:59:08
because I think it's good to cover those00:59:09
questions when we talk but so too yeah00:59:12
but I I appreciate the manner and the00:59:14
style in which you've written your book00:59:15
it's called The Power of unwavering00:59:18
Focus I encourage people to read it00:59:21
because it's got again that good combo00:59:24
of the stories some of the biographical00:59:26
Parts as well as some of the science and00:59:29
then certainly there are tools there are00:59:31
practical application for you to00:59:33
implement right away which we tried to00:59:35
hit on right now so thanks so much for00:59:38
for doing this Don napani it's it00:59:40
certainly was um I wasn't really sure00:59:43
what I was going to get but I'm so glad00:59:45
I got to meet you and I would I would00:59:46
love to continue if you're good with it00:59:48
I'd love to continue our dialogue as we00:59:50
both progress man00:59:52
for sure that would be wonderful that00:59:55
would be really great thank you so much00:59:56
is there anywhere else you'd send send a00:59:58
viewers listeners to learn more about00:59:59
you online01:00:02
website's the best place uh which is01:00:04
dangapani.org that's01:00:07
d-a-n-d-a-p-a-n-i dot org01:00:10
um from there you can connect to my01:00:12
different social channels and everything01:00:13
that I have on my app or books and01:00:15
things like that yeah awesome more than01:00:18
anything else you know I I would say01:00:20
just to listen to this long potting01:00:22
final thing is01:00:23
there needs to be an impetus for leading01:00:26
a focused life and and in the book I01:00:28
talk about the three great impetus in on01:00:31
one of them is that the fact that our01:00:33
life is finite that you have one life01:00:36
and you only have X amount of time I01:00:38
don't say life is short I say life is01:00:40
finite01:00:41
there's a clear definitive end to it so01:00:43
we don't know how long that is but we01:00:45
know it's going to end01:00:48
that should drive us to have Clarity or01:00:52
purpose Clarity of focus so that on that01:00:55
we're so blessed to be on this planet to01:00:57
be able to have a life01:00:59
uh at that time that we have this life01:01:02
can be the most amazing one01:01:04
and everyone can have that they just01:01:06
need to dedicate some time and commit01:01:09
time and energy to discovering that and01:01:12
then living it Go and spend your whole01:01:14
life searching for it spend a minimum of01:01:17
time searching for it Discover it and01:01:19
then spend the rest of the time living01:01:20
it because that's what you're here to do01:01:22
you're here to live an amazing life01:01:25
perfect thanks so much again man the01:01:27
power of unwavering Focus look forward01:01:30
to talking with you more in the future01:01:32
you're most welcome thank you Ryan01:01:44
[Music]Description:
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY WORK: Podcast: The Learning Leader Show: https://learningleader.com/podcast/ Book: The Pursuit Of Excellence: https://learningleader.com/the-pursuit-of-excellence/ Book: Welcome To Management: https://learningleader.com/welcome-to-management/ MY WRITING: Book: The Pursuit Of Excellence: https://learningleader.com/the-pursuit-of-excellence/ Book: Welcome To Management: https://learningleader.com/welcome-to-management/ Mindful Monday: https://mailchi.mp/learningleader/mindfulmonday299 Twitter: https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12 Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser MY PODCAST: The Learning Leader Show: https://learningleader.com/podcast/ RECOMMENDED INTERVIEWS: Daniel Pink: https://learningleader.com/danpink456/ General Stan McChrystal: https://learningleader.com/mcchrystalhawk357/ Kat Cole: https://learningleader.com/episode-078-kat-cole-from-hooters-waitress-to-president-of-cinnabon/ Seth Godin: https://learningleader.com/sethgodin390/ Simon Sinek: https://learningleader.com/sinekhawk348/ MY ONLINE SCHOOL: The Learning Leader Academy: https://learningleader.com/academy/ MY LEARNING LEADER CIRCLES: https://learningleader.com/leadership-circles/ GUEST NOTES: Dandapani is a Hindu priest and a former monk of 10 years. He originally got a degree in Electrical Engineering, then left it all behind and spent a decade studying under the guidance of one of Hinduism's foremost spiritual leaders. He gave a TEDx talk that has been viewed over 5.6 million times and his GoalCast videos have been watched more than 75 million times. He’s also written a book called, The Power of Unwavering Focus RECOMMENDED ESSAYS: The Difference Between Top Performers & Everybody Else: https://learningleader.com/kipchoge/ 2021 Year In Review & Goals For 2022: https://learningleader.com/2021review/ WHO AM I? I’m Ryan Hawk and I’m a writer, podcaster, advisor, and teacher. My favorite thing to do is have a deep, long-form conversation with a thoughtful person. Fortunately, I get to do that often on my podcast, The Learning Leader Show. I created The Learning Leader Show in 2015 as a way for me to follow my curiosity about leadership and excellence with great rigor. It has since been listened to by millions of people in more than 150 countries. Additionally, I’ve written and published two books. My first: Welcome To Management was named “the best leadership book of 2020” by Forbes. My second: The Pursuit of Excellence ranked at the top of the Amazon charts and Patrick Lencioni said, “this is a must-read book if you care to live an excellent life.” When I’m not recording podcasts or writing books, I try to help leaders be more effective. Some of the ways I do that: Hosting Learning Leader Circles (paid mastermind groups), 1:1 advising for executives, and my online school, The Learning Leader Academy. Additionally, I’ve delivered keynote speeches all over the world for thousands of people.
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This feature is available in the UDL Helper extension. Make sure that "Show the video snapshot button" is checked in the settings. A camera icon should appear in the lower right corner of the player to the left of the "Settings" icon. When you click on it, the current frame from the video will be saved to your computer in JPEG format.
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It costs nothing. Our services are absolutely free for all users. There are no PRO subscriptions, no restrictions on the number or maximum length of downloaded videos.