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Download "The Insane Plot Armor of Cats"

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00:00:02
oh my God
00:00:05
Mama come here
00:00:08
oh Lord Oh Lord Oh Lord grab the girl
00:00:10
hand oh Lord oh
00:00:12
broken a term used to describe a
00:00:15
character so overpowered that they make
00:00:17
the Game Stop functioning as intended
00:00:18
and exploit the game's balance in their
00:00:20
favor well if cats aren't the most
00:00:23
broken animals on the planet God must
00:00:24
have discontinued first place I talk a
00:00:26
lot about animals that got shafted by
00:00:27
evolution in fact my most popular video
00:00:29
today was about 10 of them well if I
00:00:31
ever do a video on Nature's favorites
00:00:32
cats would surely be at the very top
00:00:34
cats are arguably the most successful
00:00:36
Predators we've ever seen with so many
00:00:38
overpowered abilities you'd swear it was
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plot armor I don't even want to make
00:00:41
this intro too long so here's 10
00:00:42
superpowers your cat has that you may or
00:00:45
may not have known and number one zero
00:00:47
fall damage you've probably heard that
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cats always land on their feet but the
00:00:50
real Flex is being able to fall from
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Heights that would have any human
00:00:53
Furnishing a coffin a 1987 study showed
00:00:56
that out of 132 cats that were brought
00:00:58
to an emergency vet in New York City
00:00:59
after falling out of a high-rise 90
00:01:01
lived and less than 40 percent required
00:01:04
life-saving treatment it gets even
00:01:05
Wilder when you realize that cats
00:01:07
actually have a better chance of getting
00:01:08
air dropped from a building and walking
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it off the higher the drop was and it's
00:01:12
all because cats on understand physics
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you see when you're in free fall you
00:01:15
accelerate towards the ground until you
00:01:17
reach terminal velocity where you
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literally can't fall any faster when
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cats reach TV they splay their legs and
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kind of just parachute the rest of the
00:01:23
way down and instead of landing on their
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feet they break their fall with their
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chest and abdomen obviously they don't
00:01:28
completely tank the hip but thanks to
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their relatively large surface area to
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weight ratio they maximize the points of
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contact that smack the ground and
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therefore minimize the damage Essence
00:01:37
cats apparently have lifelong beef with
00:01:39
gravity cats that reach terminal
00:01:40
velocity instinctively know not to tense
00:01:42
up but instead relax and basically turn
00:01:43
themselves into a kite on the way down
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the thing is if they don't have time to
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reach terminal velocity they end up
00:01:48
getting hurt way worse so like in a
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weird twist cats that fall from two to
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seven stories actually end up more down
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bad than the ones that touch Earth from
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10 stories up in fact cats have about a
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95 chance of falling from 10 stories and
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living meanwhile the average human has a
00:02:01
95 chance of getting outlined with chalk
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oh and don't think the cutoffs send
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stories either one cat named Sabrina
00:02:06
took a 32-story Express trip to the
00:02:08
ground and walked away with only a
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punctured lung and a chipped tooth not
00:02:11
to mention she was released and sent
00:02:12
home to two days later being impervious
00:02:14
to fall damage is how snow leopards can
00:02:16
not only make a living in the Himalayas
00:02:18
but can legit fall clear off a cliff and
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the only injury they take is to their
00:02:21
pride speaking of plot armor did you
00:02:23
know cats are actually built to predict
00:02:24
the weather you see cat hair attracts
00:02:26
static electricity so they can pick up
00:02:28
on the buildup of electrical charge that
00:02:29
often comes before a really bad storm
00:02:31
and the cat's inner ears are sensitive
00:02:33
to sudden drops in atmospheric pressure
00:02:35
which announce the arrival of a cloud
00:02:36
assault technically so can we it's why
00:02:38
our ears do the most and pop on a plane
00:02:40
but it's just that cat ears are that
00:02:41
much more sensitive and they can even
00:02:43
smell rain and lightning coming it's so
00:02:45
op that Sailors used to use cats aboard
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ships as a four-legged four cats for
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forecast
00:02:52
apparently a cat with the Zoomies means
00:02:54
you could expect strong winds a cat that
00:02:56
sneezed was warning you of heavy rain
00:02:58
and apparently if one licked their fur
00:02:59
against a grain mid-sale then you better
00:03:01
make like God's golfing because it's
00:03:02
been at hail now to be fair months
00:03:04
surrounded by nothing but CNC man gives
00:03:06
you a lot of time to just make stuff up
00:03:07
I mean just how many sea monster stories
00:03:09
was just a whale freeing his Willy but
00:03:11
there might be some truth to the cat
00:03:13
thing cats will often spend extra time
00:03:14
licking themselves before a bad storm
00:03:16
since having Dan fur helps with the
00:03:17
static thing I told you about so
00:03:19
basically if cats could talk we'd see a
00:03:20
lot of meteorologists on unemployment
00:03:22
and speaking of no job cats really
00:03:24
managed to finesse their way into living
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in nearly 50 million homes in America
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rent free and one of the biggest reasons
00:03:29
is because cats are the best
00:03:31
manipulators nature has to offer and if
00:03:33
you think they aren't
00:03:34
you're probably a monkey you don't even
00:03:36
know it according to researchers at the
00:03:37
University of Sussex many cats will
00:03:39
exploit their owners with a soliciting
00:03:41
purr it's more high frequency triggers a
00:03:43
sense of urgency in humans and even
00:03:44
someone resembles the Cry of an infant
00:03:46
and we just have to assume that's
00:03:47
intentional and in experiments not only
00:03:49
did humans have a faster response time
00:03:51
when hearing that per compared to a
00:03:52
normal one it even affected people that
00:03:54
never owned cats this distress per
00:03:56
likely triggers a deep innate nurturing
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response in humans meaning you're
00:03:59
literally hardwired to answer to it no
00:04:01
matter what you were doing before so
00:04:03
apparently cats understand psychology
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too that's not even really a joke
00:04:06
because adult cats almost never meow to
00:04:07
each other but kittens do it with their
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mothers for food and water we have to
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assume they just figured out it works on
00:04:12
humans too and it's not just pet cats
00:04:14
with this Talent tigers have been known
00:04:16
to imitate the sounds of their prey to
00:04:17
lull them into a false sense of security
00:04:19
tigers have reportedly mimicked Sandbar
00:04:21
deer and black bears Brothers just
00:04:23
listen to this are you moving because
00:04:25
you want to be one with the cows
00:04:39
and it's not just Tigers the South
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American Margate will verbally cosplay
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as a baby monkey just to Mark its
00:04:46
parents like a Disney movie and clearly
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the manipulation tactics were passed
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down in fact cats are so good at working
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people that they'd actually be great
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politicians which is probably how mayor
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stops a talkina Alaska stayed in office
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for 20 years even surviving
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assassination attempts by dogs BB guns
00:05:00
and a deep fryer but there's another
00:05:01
special ability cats have and it could
00:05:03
arguably be the most overpowered of all
00:05:05
pretty privilege it's how Dolphins got
00:05:08
flipper orcas got Free Willy meanwhile
00:05:10
the best movie deal shark management
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could get them was being Typecast as
00:05:13
Jaws you see there's this thing called
00:05:15
Baby schema it basically means that
00:05:16
humans have an intrinsic bias towards a
00:05:18
certain set of facial features in people
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and animals so the point where it just
00:05:21
makes us want to protect them and with
00:05:23
their big head wide eyes and round
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forehead cats literally remind us of
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babies and even though it's a buff from
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nature cats will 100 play into this by
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figuring out what combination of ear
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wiggling whisker pointing and eye
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narrowing gets the best response from
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people now add the fact that slow
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blinking with your cat can trigger
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oxytocin in both of you the literal
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hormone that bonds a mother to her child
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and you can see how cats were basically
00:05:44
engineered to be irresistible it's
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pretty privileged on every steroid
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possible and it's wild because if any
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other animal had a reputation for cold
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indifference in global genocide it'd be
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cause a pause but because it's cats we
00:05:54
just let it slide cat cuteness virtually
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has us in a Chokehold and I said virtual
00:05:58
for a reason it's said that 50 of all
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internet traffic is driven by cat
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content that's 50 of all the stuff on
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the internet
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I want you to think about that during
00:06:07
this ad matter of fact and I'm willing
00:06:09
to put money on it for some of y'all
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this ads about to be cat related
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oh you're back oh by the way was it was
00:06:14
it cat related I'm actually curious but
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the thing that almost always gets
00:06:17
forgotten is that cats give back as much
00:06:19
as they take which leads to their next
00:06:20
Flex healing powers and not just for
00:06:23
them science says having a cat living
00:06:25
under your roof easily extends your
00:06:26
subscription to life studies show that
00:06:28
cat owners are 40 less likely to suffer
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a heart attack and have a 30 less chance
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of getting clapped by cardiovascular
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complications and since cardiovascular
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disease is one of the leading causes of
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preventable death today cats are like a
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real life one-up not to mention kids
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that grew up around cats have less of a
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chance of getting folded by allergies
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especially if the exposure started in
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early infancy or even while they're
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still in the womb waiting room and then
00:06:50
there's the fact that just petting a cat
00:06:51
can Nerf stress levels and blood
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pressure but if you really want to get
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literal about it Casper at a frequency
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that's said to improve bone density
00:06:57
repair attendance and promote healing I
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never really fully understood it but
00:07:01
apparently cats pro at a frequency that
00:07:03
transmits vibrations throughout the body
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vibrations that help increase blood flow
00:07:06
to the affected area thereby bringing
00:07:08
more nutrients it's also believed that
00:07:10
those same vibrations can help with soft
00:07:11
tissue injury like sprains and strains I
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know I said they live rent free but
00:07:15
considering all they do to carry our
00:07:17
health again I I feel like we can let it
00:07:19
slide it's not just a buff to your
00:07:20
health either I vividly remember seeing
00:07:22
a bunch of surveys that said that women
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on dating sites actually find men with
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cats more attractive something about
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seeming more nurturing or emotionally
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intelligent on an unrelated note I want
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y'all to meet my editor and content
00:07:32
manager Aslan say hi Ashley say hi
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oh good boy I tried to find the articles
00:07:41
online but apparently there was a switch
00:07:42
up and now women find cat owners less
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attractive so on another unrelated note
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yeah he isn't mine I'm actually just cat
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sitting for a friend shout out to you
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Yusuf yeah but anyway cap plot armor is
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so strong that it might just be able to
00:07:53
save you from cancer we've all heard the
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stories of feline Physicians detecting
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it in people before anyone else could
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cats have a sense of smell about 14
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times stronger than humans with their
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200 million odor receptors to our
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pitiful almost embarrassing five five
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million tumors produce volatile organic
00:08:09
compounds and these vocs leave the body
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through sweat and breath and there's a
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lot of respected researchers out there
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that will die on the hill that cats can
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sniff it out the same way dogs can in
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2018 rescue cab Mia climbed on owner
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Michelle Pearson's chest and wouldn't
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get off for anything sniffing and pawing
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at you know the right one while also
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meowing and looking at her as as cats do
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it wasn't until her husband checked for
00:08:29
himself that he felt The Telltale lump
00:08:30
and that's how the cat that was rescued
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from certain deaths ended up returning
00:08:33
to favor and saving her owner from stage
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2 breast cancer and that's not even much
00:08:37
of a rich considering there's also
00:08:38
stories of cats warning their diabetic
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owners of their potentially fairly low
00:08:42
blood sugar either that or cats can see
00:08:44
the future and they'll choose to keep
00:08:45
you in theirs if they like you enough
00:08:46
and even that's low-key valid
00:08:48
considering superpower number seven is
00:08:50
that cats have Ultra Instinct those
00:08:52
whiskers can detect sudden changes in
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air currents to figure out the size
00:08:55
shape and speed of nearby objects it's
00:08:57
like a whole radar system growing out of
00:08:59
their face and it's how a blindfolded
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cat is still hell on Earth for any Mouse
00:09:02
in the area bro I still don't think
00:09:04
you're understanding just how much of a
00:09:05
cheat whiskers are cats can even use
00:09:07
their whiskers to figure out what
00:09:08
direction their prey is trying to dodge
00:09:09
it in right before they pounce allowing
00:09:11
them to cut off any possible Escape
00:09:12
Routes now to us it's interesting and
00:09:15
pretty cool but to a mouse trying to
00:09:16
make it home to his family that's got to
00:09:18
be some and cats don't just
00:09:20
have them on their face they have
00:09:21
whiskers all over and you can't even
00:09:22
play dead with the cast since they have
00:09:24
carpal whiskers that allow them to tell
00:09:25
if their prey is playing or you know
00:09:27
actually past tense and honestly this
00:09:29
might be the most broken ability cats
00:09:31
have it's basically impossible to catch
00:09:33
a cat slipping they don't have to hear
00:09:34
you they don't even have to smell you
00:09:36
all it takes is a smallest change in
00:09:37
aircon turns to dry snitch on you but as
00:09:39
Predators cats are the ones that do the
00:09:41
sneaking which only makes their next
00:09:42
ability even more of a Jihad for their
00:09:44
prey superpower number eight cats are
00:09:47
athletic freaks of nature no seriously
00:09:49
cats are the most athletic group of
00:09:51
animals on Earth and imma stand on that
00:09:52
there might not be a single event at the
00:09:54
Olympics that one of the 40 flavors of
00:09:56
feline can Flex On Us in you want speed
00:09:58
cheetahs can go 0-60 in three seconds it
00:10:01
can Peak out at over 70 miles per hour a
00:10:03
cheetah on a Sunday morning jaw can
00:10:05
still get pulled over on the turnpike
00:10:06
ain't that crazy want to see some long
00:10:07
jumping cougars can clear 45 feet
00:10:10
horizontally on an off day you want to
00:10:12
see a cat get high minus the catnip the
00:10:14
serval jumps so high that their meal
00:10:16
prep literally involves pimp slapping
00:10:17
Birds right out of the air and for power
00:10:19
lifting here we have a literal deadlift
00:10:20
by a leopard using only its teeth yes
00:10:23
that is a rhino yes that is a giraffe
00:10:25
and speaking of leopards they're also
00:10:26
gymnasts on steroids that turn trees
00:10:28
into jungle gyms and if you think you're
00:10:30
safe from the smoke and water keep in
00:10:32
mind that the Cayman is part of one of
00:10:34
the most successful group of predators
00:10:35
in history and all it took was an
00:10:37
aquatic Equinox eyes are in the form of
00:10:38
a cat to wreck their entire game plan
00:10:40
not to mention Jaguars have been seen
00:10:42
swimming clear across the Panama Canal
00:10:43
yeah that one also they have a hydraulic
00:10:46
press for a job God help you if you get
00:10:48
caught in it and all you need to say
00:10:49
about tigers is that this is an Indian
00:10:51
gar and even this walking Red Bull logo
00:10:53
can get choked out by a 500 pound
00:10:55
striped gigglegar field and I don't even
00:10:57
need to say anything about lions those
00:10:58
triceps speak for themselves cats are
00:11:00
nature's population control and there
00:11:02
isn't anywhere on Earth outside of the
00:11:03
devil's ice rink that doesn't have some
00:11:04
kind of cat running it even the travel
00:11:06
size ones are a menace the deadliest cat
00:11:08
in the world is the African black-footed
00:11:10
cat because their metabolism not only
00:11:12
can they catch up to 15 bodies a night
00:11:14
they also have a hunting success rate of
00:11:16
60 not even lions tigers and leopards
00:11:18
can touch that there's a reason why
00:11:20
domestic cats put billions of animals on
00:11:22
shirts a year and sometimes they turn
00:11:24
entire species into history lessons and
00:11:26
unlike their wild cousins a lot of times
00:11:27
with domestic cats they do it just for
00:11:29
fun yeah you think it's cute but it's
00:11:31
bloodlust and if you're a mouse an OP
00:11:33
with whiskers is like Thanos they do be
00:11:35
inevitable especially when you factor
00:11:37
super Power number nine cats can
00:11:40
teleport I'm dead serious cats do this
00:11:42
thing where they just spawn wherever the
00:11:44
plot needs them the most as solitary
00:11:46
Hunters cats can cover insane amounts of
00:11:48
distance in times that really make no
00:11:50
sense take Mountain lines for example
00:11:52
young male cougars will often travel
00:11:53
hundreds of miles away from their
00:11:55
mother's territory to find their own in
00:11:57
2009 a tag cougar took a walk that took
00:11:59
him from Black Hills South Dakota all
00:12:01
the way to Greenwich Connecticut
00:12:02
basically he hiked from Mount Rushmore
00:12:04
to 30 miles from Manhattan and it's not
00:12:06
just cougars that go cross-country a
00:12:08
tiger named T1 managed to walk 800 miles
00:12:11
across India in only a few months fueled
00:12:13
by nothing but the power of horny and of
00:12:15
course there's a story of El Jefe a
00:12:17
Jaguar that randomly showed up in
00:12:18
Arizona just outside Tucson I could
00:12:20
really keep going from June 2017 to July
00:12:23
2018 a young links Trek from a wildlife
00:12:26
refuge in Alaska all the way into the
00:12:28
heart of the Yukon a trip that totaled
00:12:31
2174 miles his name was hobo by the way
00:12:34
can't even make that up but the best
00:12:36
story of teleporting cats was Clement
00:12:37
time Jones she was a cat new yorker's
00:12:40
family left her behind because they were
00:12:41
moving and they figured the trip would
00:12:43
be too hard on a pregnant cat how little
00:12:45
did they know Clementine spent a couple
00:12:46
of months with her kittens and then one
00:12:48
day just headed out and popped up at her
00:12:50
old family's home 1600 miles away in
00:12:53
Denver and it's not even like the family
00:12:55
got tricked by a Duke Clementine was
00:12:56
born with an extra toe and had a burn
00:12:58
mark on her shoulder there was no
00:12:59
mistaking her there's only one Cat Power
00:13:01
that's arguably more impressive and you
00:13:02
saw it coming as soon as you clicked on
00:13:04
this video super power number 10 mind
00:13:06
control and it's all because of a little
00:13:08
parasite called you know the name
00:13:10
Toxoplasma Gandhi it all starts when
00:13:13
this parasite enters a cat because they
00:13:15
literally only reproduce in their bowels
00:13:17
and their eggs don't get passed until
00:13:18
the cat has a movement usually in a
00:13:20
litter box now here's the problem the
00:13:21
Toxoplasma Gandhi needs to find a way
00:13:23
back into the cat in order to hit
00:13:25
restart on its life cycle and the best
00:13:26
way to do that is by setting up shop
00:13:28
inside one of the animals on his grocery
00:13:29
list the only issue is no mouse that
00:13:31
values its life is going anywhere near a
00:13:33
death sentence with toe beans to make it
00:13:35
happen so the parasite which by the way
00:13:36
basically uses the mouse a layover they
00:13:39
begin to rewire its brain in order to
00:13:41
remove the fear of cats and I don't even
00:13:43
know how but infected mice can even
00:13:44
start feeding for cat pee with more
00:13:46
irrational confidence in a father of
00:13:48
four and Instagram model's comments it's
00:13:49
easier for the mouse to get body bagged
00:13:51
by its number one op thus repeating this
00:13:53
vicious Mouse murking cycle and of
00:13:55
course we now believe that when this
00:13:56
same parasite invades us they do the
00:13:58
same thing they would to a mouse which
00:14:00
is why popular opinion is that the
00:14:01
Toxoplasma parasite causes an
00:14:03
unreasonable attraction to cats and it's
00:14:06
possible that this factory reset of our
00:14:07
personality is due to the parasite
00:14:09
making enzymes that control dopamine and
00:14:11
it's not just humans that can get
00:14:12
infected turns out Afflicted hyena Cubs
00:14:15
end up Bolder in the face of lions which
00:14:17
is a great way for them to get invited
00:14:18
to a meet and greet with Mufasa it's not
00:14:20
100 proven that the parasites
00:14:22
responsible for all the cat people in
00:14:23
the world but hear me out there's proof
00:14:25
that this parasite was present in
00:14:26
ancient Egyptian mummies and these were
00:14:28
the people that straight up worshiped
00:14:29
them not to mention up to a third of all
00:14:31
people alive right now have it and most
00:14:33
have no idea and that's why I say cats
00:14:35
have the wildest plot armor I've ever
00:14:37
seen because real talk only Cats Could
00:14:39
spin a parasitic infection into a way of
00:14:41
living life for you trust me I would
00:14:43
know easy net rate me food and that's
00:14:45
why cats are the most broken animals in
00:14:47
nature with with cats being Nature's
00:14:49
cutest form of population control I talk
00:14:51
about the blot in my book hold on sorry
00:14:53
girl okay with cats being Nature's
00:14:56
cutest form of population control I talk
00:14:58
about them a lot in my book 100 animals
00:15:00
that can redact and kill you link in the
00:15:02
description if you want to see for
00:15:03
yourself but make sure you drink water
00:15:04
hug your mother hug a cat it might just
00:15:06
save your life and if he allows it I'ma
00:15:09
see y'all
00:15:11
um
00:15:12
in the next one
00:15:14
oh you're such a good boy
00:15:17
you said you you're such a good boy okay
00:15:20
okay you can go now ah there you go
00:15:26
I love that guy
00:15:28
foreign

Description:

Long story short, cats are broken. Also please don't throw your cat out a window, “zero fall damage” was an exaggeration Check out my new book Here: https://a.co/d/enrdHKK If you'd like to watch videos early, get bonus content and support this channel, consider joining my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HoodNature Music from: Watching the Clouds- Lakey Inspired Song of Storms- Smash Bros. Ultimate Documentary music- bdProductions Snowman- Smash Bros. Ultimate Battle in the Base- Smash Bros. Ultimate With Mila's Divine Intervention- Smash Bros. Ultimate The Dark World- A Link to the Past Ratchet & Clank- Metropolis Clips used: Mia saves owner from cancer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=YmhVMlL7wmns3eOc&v=Mw_edAM3ISI

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