Download "Игорь Маменко-5"

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Валерий Жидков: Монолог о религии и депутатах | Квартал 95 ЛУЧШЕЕ

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ТАКОГО ОН ТОЧНО НЕ ОЖИДАЛ🤣 #анекдоты #приколы #юмор

ТАКОГО ОН ТОЧНО НЕ ОЖИДАЛ🤣 #анекдоты #приколы #юмор

Channel: Анекдоты категории Б

Сергей Крылов

Игорь Маменко

юмор

анекдоты

монолог

кока-кола

помог соседу

два украинца в армении

00:00:05

Good evening dear

00:00:07

friends Thank you for the Applause Well, I’ll start

00:00:10

with an anecdote, as usual,

00:00:13

imagine two people had a good

00:00:16

drink, went to rest in the morning, woke up with a

00:00:19

severe hangover, one of them

00:00:22

practically cannot speak, he has a

00:00:24

severe drought in his mouth, he

00:00:27

works there in a dark factory,

00:00:30

drinks an aquarium, drank it at night, trying

00:00:33

turn to your friend for help it turns out it

00:00:43

doesn’t matter

00:00:50

Coca-Cola now Coop went to the store

00:00:54

teas in a couple of hours this

00:00:56

half-man is sitting

00:00:58

half-finished lips like a cutlet in a

00:01:00

terrible state

00:01:02

trying to ask He probably had

00:01:04

Coca-Cola

00:01:12

Coca-Cola

00:01:14

is over I bought you

00:01:18

cookies yesterday the doorbell rang

00:01:23

I open the door, two

00:01:25

policemen say they need witnesses for

00:01:28

your neighbor,

00:01:30

and my neighbor Boris Markovich is such a

00:01:33

guy, our family just

00:01:36

adores my son Andryukha, for only

00:01:38

15,000 dollars in a vocational school he got

00:01:42

my wife to study as a welder in the American language, she

00:01:46

teaches night

00:01:48

courses, she returns from him, all the

00:01:52

lipstick is on lips I speak like a tongue She

00:01:55

says ate

00:01:57

howl Well, he helps like a neighbor,

00:02:00

disinterestedly I think how I can at least

00:02:03

once help him, this is the case, well, let’s go

00:02:07

Markovich is sitting happy,

00:02:09

smiling, hookah, smoking

00:02:11

these, they say

00:02:13

a search, information has reached us that you

00:02:16

sell

00:02:18

moonshine I I understand I need to help out my neighbor.

00:02:21

He wanted to say something. I tell him

00:02:23

calmly, I’ll tell him. I say, shame on you. If

00:02:26

only you could discredit a person.

00:02:30

Well, think for yourself. Why should he sell

00:02:34

moonshine if he has two of

00:02:36

his own

00:02:38

clandestine distilleries outside the city, that he’s your boy?

00:02:42

or something, Markovich stopped smiling

00:02:47

Drinking a lot of water they say Oops, we already

00:02:51

wanted to leave I say Where to stand,

00:02:54

stay, figure it out so that they know how to

00:02:56

believe in the priests

00:03:00

at this time something from yourself so a little

00:03:01

adj only I heard it again the flip flops

00:03:04

lies with the chair like a parcel doesn’t

00:03:06

move at all, they say

00:03:08

he’s kind of weak-hearted, like his wife

00:03:11

endures I continue to help out I say

00:03:16

don’t touch his wife, she can barely

00:03:18

carry her legs in the morning only she

00:03:20

returns home works so much they say

00:03:23

that the sky is a walking

00:03:25

[ __ ] You yourself are

00:03:27

walking, how to be a walker if she in the

00:03:30

center of the city Markovich keeps his night hangout

00:03:34

by this time he came to his senses

00:03:37

only heard this

00:03:39

again he’s lying there at all Well they

00:03:43

jumped up on Shatyr and give him a sniff

00:03:45

I say what are you giving him let him smell the

00:03:49

white powder that his

00:03:51

son is hiding in a soap dish

00:03:53

they say

00:03:56

Yeah So his son is dabbling in

00:04:01

drugs. I continue to help out. I

00:04:05

say his son is a wonderful boy, he doesn’t

00:04:08

drink, doesn’t smoke, and then what does that mean he’s dabbling in

00:04:12

drugs, he’s into drugs quite

00:04:16

seriously, otherwise, how did he get so many

00:04:19

dollars in the

00:04:20

mattress? They flogged the mattress, they say. It’s like there’s a ton of

00:04:23

currency. I’m probably

00:04:25

fake. I’m telling you. you are fake

00:04:30

How can it be fake if he

00:04:32

printed it himself Why slander them they

00:04:35

say where is the machine we are now going

00:04:37

to turn everything around here I say

00:04:39

calm down there is no machine here and there has

00:04:42

never been a machine in the basement When I do

00:04:45

n’t disturb anyone’s sleep at work Why

00:04:49

slander they wiped off the sweat they say Well

00:04:52

and the family, they have at least someone

00:04:55

normal, I say there are

00:05:00

loni, everything is mo on not these are burning that they

00:05:04

love me so much And you didn’t love all the

00:05:08

property

00:05:10

written on her and the dacha and the brothel and the

00:05:13

yacht they say that there is also a yacht I go

00:05:18

Zdra And at the World Cup, he transports weapons as a terrorist

00:05:22

here

00:05:28

after, because they never proved the trade in moonshine,

00:05:31

so

00:05:32

[applause]

00:05:42

So imagine

00:05:45

two friends had a good

00:05:48

drink, went to bed in the morning, continued

00:05:52

again, are in the same state,

00:05:55

one of them turns to the other one

00:06:04

hundred SOBR

00:06:11

y Tell me please,

00:06:21

you're

00:06:23

always official, there's a

00:06:29

yellow lemon on the table,

00:06:34

so it's you who squeezed my canary into the tea,

00:06:45

three of them are standing,

00:06:48

naturally, for three, they give one a glass,

00:06:50

he takes the glass,

00:07:01

a chance to vomit the second one, no, not a [ __ ], who

00:07:06

will vomit It's all

00:07:13

[music]

00:07:15

his two Ukrainians, being on a business trip

00:07:17

in Yerevan, a couple of hours before the

00:07:20

train's departure, purely by chance end up in an

00:07:23

ancient Armenian cemetery, a museum, it seems that

00:07:26

among the tombstones they read the

00:07:28

inscriptions Ara Balayan

00:07:31

1905

00:07:34

1988 alive for 5

00:07:38

years, probably a mistake about the rook Karapetyan

00:07:44

1911

00:07:47

1995 alive for 3

00:07:50

years What a mess Well, let's go to the watchman

00:07:53

let's find out what's going on in the direction of th

00:07:55

uncle you're sorry We are of course good at mathematics

00:07:58

but we don't understand the degree, we

00:08:01

thought so on the calculator We

00:08:03

can't understand there the man lived there for

00:08:06

80 years it is written five he lived for 70 years

00:08:09

it is written T explain it's not difficult to

00:08:12

explain rather than unclear You it’s an

00:08:14

adult man, it’s not like that, it existed there, it

00:08:19

existed there, it existed

00:08:22

abroad, business trips, girls,

00:08:25

beautiful cars, kids, when something like this,

00:08:29

everything else doesn’t count. Slava

00:08:32

Verchani, it’s

00:08:34

clear. Yes, it’s clear. What’s unclear? In short,

00:08:38

Valera, If I die, write to me

00:08:41

on the grave, being born

00:08:43

dead, Thank you

Description:

Игорь Маменко-5 В ролик вошли три монолога: "Кока-Кола", "Помог соседу", "Два украинца в Армении". _________________________________________________________________ СПАСИБО ВСЕМ ЗА ПРОСМОТРЫ, ЛАЙКИ И ПОДПИСКИ! ОБЯЗАТЕЛЬНО ЛАЙКАЕМ ВИДЕО! ПОДПИШИСЬ НА НОВЫЕ ВИДЕО https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDu3OcGYKlbL9wRyutJ00hA Поделитесь видео с друзьями: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdqJpTPGrffdes-gOG5w-FVz-vnXRn3vb Помощь каналу: Яндекс-деньги: 410011563874612 Qiwi: +79788372101 WebMany: Z179958623157, R349572222886 Вступай в группу https://goo.gl/haO7cF Мой Google+ добавляйтесь в круги https://workspaceupdates.googleblog.com/2023/04/new-community-features-for-google-chat-and-an-update-currents%20.html Мой Твиттер https://goo.gl/nIZX15 _______________________________________________________________ Получить прибыль с AliExpress без вложений: https://backit.me/ru/cashback?inviter=dfca0

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