Download "Joueur du grenier - Les jeux de COMICS #1"
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Russian
00:00:02
The time of the heroes is over...00:00:11
The new generation has given up the ideas of justice to fall into the ease of crime and violence...00:00:18
... and those who were facing the darkness had to resolve to abandon.00:00:27
In the ruins of a dying world, new threats are rising up... unknown threats...00:00:43
The world now awaits for a new hero... but will he be a savior ?00:00:48
Or will he be a destroyer ?00:01:46
It's duckin' cold today...00:01:49
What is the menu today, detective Magret ?00:01:52
A duckin' tiff has turned dirty00:01:54
The poor guy got shot like a sitting duck, and has let some feathers.00:01:57
What a brain-bird...00:02:01
Well, well, well...00:02:03
Anyway, someone's already handling this.00:02:09
An eagle ?!00:02:10
No ! A "pygargue"00:02:11
I know it is a classic mistake that people make00:02:13
because in english they're called "eagles",00:02:15
but look at those two pictures:00:02:17
This is an eagle. This is a "pygargue".00:02:18
See ! It's totally not the same !00:02:20
Stay out of my business !00:02:22
The Eagle of the Night...00:02:25
Well. Where's the victim ?00:02:26
You're stepping on it...00:02:28
Oh shit.00:02:33
Hum. This is a suicide.00:02:35
That's what we thought too, at first...00:02:38
Then we found this in his pocket...00:02:40
I thought it would be important.00:02:42
A video gaaaaaaame...00:02:44
What an astonishing and unexpected finding...00:02:51
It opens !00:02:54
You're a genius !00:02:56
I'll put ths in my Canard-PC...00:02:58
You know, the games based over comics,00:03:00
we barely touched the surface of it.00:03:01
There are so much !00:03:02
But, when you're a video game developper00:03:04
it's just perfect !00:03:05
A license already exists, you don't need to think00:03:07
There are the good guys, the bad guys, and because there is some fight,00:03:08
the gameplay is all made up.00:03:10
We already saw some games from the DC Comics license,00:03:13
but first, we haven't seen everything00:03:14
and then, we haven't seen games from the Marvel license yet.00:03:17
And I don't know why, but there are much more Marvel games !00:03:19
And this time they forgot no characters at all00:03:21
Even the the most unlikely heroes00:03:22
like Howard The Duck, on Commodore 64...00:03:23
Wow...00:03:27
Released in 1986, in this game,00:03:29
you reach a lost island to beat the shit out of some natives.00:03:31
" Your natural ressources are now mine !"00:03:33
I'm sure he asked for this !00:03:35
Like the Indians !00:03:37
Well, the majority of comics games are pretty mediocre00:03:39
or even correct, but not much00:03:41
Generally, it's horizontal platform, we beat up some foes00:03:43
and we progress, like Spiderman Web of Fire, on 32X.00:03:47
The 32X, if you don't know what it is, it's just a desperate attempt00:03:50
to extend the lifetime of the Megadrive (Genesis, in North America)00:03:52
The game starts with a really badass screen00:03:54
which uses the 32X technical capacities, but...00:03:58
What's happening with the intro sound ?00:04:02
"And with the drums, Ossama bin Laden"00:04:05
So ! Daredevil has been captured00:04:07
and the city is invaded by a... fucking giant rave party...00:04:12
Well then, we... we... we... we're gonna talk about the game...00:04:16
The first thing we notice is the beauty of the graphics00:04:20
and... and the quality of the animations !00:04:22
Spiderman really looks like Spiderman, the controls are smoothly responding00:04:27
but we can notice some trivial hitbox troubles, which doesn't affects the playing pleasure !00:04:32
Concerning the ennemies, well I would say, that, well,00:04:36
it's not bad ! We can recognize the most know Marvel's bad guys,00:04:39
like, Pukinator, the first boss !00:04:42
An essential game for all the fans !00:04:45
Seriously, the game's not horrible,00:04:47
but it's full of problems. First, it's really really hard.00:04:50
You'll regularly take an ennemy you haven't seen in the face.00:04:52
And then, Spiderman is like "sucked out" by the surfaces00:04:56
Every time you're in front of a wall, he feels like he has to climb it00:04:59
Even when it's a deadly electric arc ! Fuck ! Come on !00:05:01
I mean, fine, we understood you can walk on the walls !00:05:04
Stop suiciding to show us !00:05:06
But it's not that kind of game that we'll be caring about today.00:05:08
And before we look at the Marvel licensed games,00:05:10
we'll see one of the last DC licensed games we forgot,00:05:13
a game that is often told being one the worst games with Superman 64,00:05:17
it is Batman Dark Tomorrow.00:05:19
First, let's talk about the good aspects00:05:21
the game has a really not bad scenario, and relatively well made cinematics00:05:24
for a GameCube game. The graphics are, well, not shocking for this period.00:05:27
But in fact, with that kind of games,00:05:29
we can see the typical example of00:05:30
a stinky piece of shit, placed on a pretty little red cushion.00:05:33
You start the game by facing three little thieves,00:05:35
you have to bring them down and handcuff them.00:05:37
Ok, we're good because we're in front the most polite bandits,00:05:41
you won't have too much trouble, at first.00:05:42
*Chit-chat* Oh ! My turn ! Ciao !00:05:50
Once the thieves are under arrest, Oracle tell you to go somewhere else,00:05:53
so you reach a rooftop, and here, the rectal purge starts.00:05:57
Holy fuck ! The grapple gameplay is horrible !00:06:00
A good game is supposed to be intuitive,00:06:02
I should be able to understand the controls easily.00:06:04
I mean, I know the grapple's button, so, holy fuck, why does he do that ?!00:06:08
"I am the justice. Can someone help me get down"00:06:11
Seriously, am I dumb or what ? How does it work ?00:06:14
"Alfred, can you come to push me ?"00:06:18
But in fact, there was a trap !00:06:20
Because I've mistakened !00:06:22
After more than 20 min trying, I finally discovered00:06:25
that I shouldn't use the grapple but the bat-cable,00:06:28
because in the strange world of Batman Dark Tomorrow,00:06:30
the grapple is the one that goes like this,00:06:31
and the bat-cable is the one that goes like this.00:06:34
Nothing in common !00:06:35
Yes ! It's like this shovel ! Look:00:06:37
This one is the one that fills up the holes,00:06:38
and this one is the one that digs them. Nothing in common !00:06:40
"Lucius, go fuck yourself in the ass !"00:06:42
Well it's not because you have the good cable that it will be better,00:06:44
between the crazy camera angles and the absolutely random invisible walls,00:06:48
Fuck ! But... Fuck ! It shouldn't be that hard for Batman00:06:53
to reach the nearby building !00:06:54
Half of the people from this one saw me crash on their window !00:06:56
And now that you've mastered this, you'll finally be able to start00:07:00
fighting against the other ennemy of this game, Jean-Michel Framing !00:07:03
"Camera 1 ! Camera 2 ! Camera 1 !"00:07:06
"Hum...I think he's not on the screen anymore, boss..."00:07:08
"I don't care ! Let the camera 1 !" "Hum... okay."00:07:11
"Woh ho ! Please !"00:07:14
Framing...00:07:16
Framing is an Art.00:07:19
So ! Finally, after 30 min of suffering, we reach the bat-signal to see the Commissioner Gordon00:07:25
"Commissioner Gordon..."00:07:26
"Batman..."00:07:29
So we start the real first mission which allows you00:07:31
to see the other part of the game: the infiltration.00:07:35
Did he just shot the camera ?00:07:37
Anyway ! It doesn't matter because Batman Dark Tomorrow,00:07:39
it's not only a bad action game, it's also a bad infiltration game !00:07:43
When you press Z, you walk slower.00:07:45
This mode is supposed to be the "infiltration mode"00:07:47
like in the recents Batman games, which would normally allow me,00:07:49
if it was well made, to silently bring the ennemies down00:07:52
But, I can't catch them up !00:07:55
How am I supposed to sneak in their back if they walk three times faster than me ?!00:07:59
And look, three quarters of the sneaking happens like this:00:08:01
You progress behind an ennemy and he outruns you !00:08:07
Fuck ! It's completely ridiculous, even me, I go faster than this by crawling !00:08:11
No ! No ! Fuckin' hell !00:08:14
And it's completely random, the ennemies are alternating00:08:17
between the blind old bint and the omniscient half-god !00:08:20
I mean, here, I run behind this guy, a car is exploding in my face00:08:24
20 meters behind him, he doesn't turn back,00:08:27
but these ones will hear me getting up behind a building00:08:31
with police sirens blaring everywhere !00:08:33
Anyway, we rapidly give up the infiltration to charge in.00:08:36
Because it's really faster, and infiltrating with this genius camera...00:08:40
Don't film me ! Fuck ! The ennemies are at the angle of the street, I see them on the map !00:08:45
Shoot them !00:08:46
And while we're talking about the camera, how am I supposed to interpret that ?00:08:49
I mean it's not a bug, we checked out, so it means it's an artistic choice ?00:08:55
You're serious ?!00:08:57
Who the heck programmed this ?!00:08:59
It is important to know...00:09:01
when, you have to...00:09:02
zoom.00:09:11
Anyway, I'm not gonna talk about the long moment like00:09:13
holy shit, where do I go ?00:09:15
which constitute the majority of the game.00:09:16
And it's not the mini-map that will help you,00:09:18
because it's totally useless except to draw things on it00:09:21
with your character's road00:09:23
"Oracle, track my position !"00:09:24
"2 sec, Batman."00:09:29
"Lol ! I am Dickman !"00:09:31
Well, I won't really talk about the musics, most of the time00:09:34
it just sound like a relaxation music for massage salons.00:09:36
For the rest, it goes from the brutal panic when you cross an ennemy00:09:39
to a total stop without any transition.00:09:49
The game has a dozen levels, at first, it's chaining pretty fast00:09:52
but from the third quarter of the game, it becomes a real gut washing.00:09:55
From the drain level which last forever, the ennemies00:09:59
becomes stronger, 20 times more numerous.00:10:02
Look at this ! It looks like an aggression in the subway ! Fuck !00:10:06
"Take my phone and let me alone !"00:10:09
And the super idea of the handcuffs00:10:11
which becomes shitty because the ennemies beat you up during the handcuffs cinematics !00:10:15
The little bugs they've let everywhere.00:10:17
Like, here, I'm having a problem because they forgot to animate the getting down of the stairs !00:10:21
Get Down, fuck ! I'm trying to save Gordon !00:10:26
And obviously, the unavoidable deltaplan level ! Fuuuuuck !00:10:31
Come on ! Fly ! Fly to your fucking doom ! For fuck sake !00:10:36
Is their a reason, at least ? Is there a reason why I fall... Like this ! It's scientifically god damn impossible !00:10:42
At a point, you should stop to add some fucking deltaplan in video games.00:10:45
It never works ! I mean, Sonic on Master System... Batman Dark Tomorrow...00:10:50
Sonic on Master System...00:10:52
And the cake on the icing is that after hours and hours of playing to this horrible shit,00:10:56
turning around without knowing where to go...00:10:58
Whatever you do, Ra's al Ghul will destroy the whole planet at the end and you'll have a bad ending.00:11:02
The only way to have a good ending is to turn off a shitty signal where the entrance is00:11:08
hidden as hell when you enter into the room before the bad guy,00:11:10
which is ABSOLUTELY not indicated into the whole fucking game !00:11:15
Are you sons of bitches ? What is the goal behind this ? Except making "Nah nah nah, i screwed you over !00:11:19
You played for nothing !"00:11:20
So, game ending, the Ra's al Ghul manor blows up, and the three hundreds dudes that you handcuffed because00:11:24
you are the Dark Knight and you dont want to kill anyone, well they all die in the explosion.00:11:26
"Finally. Again, no victims for the Dark Knight !"00:11:31
"Hello, dear Duck-man. I see you did get through the first challenge.00:11:34
Now it's time to move on the next part !00:11:36
-Yeah. But first, give me a second.00:11:38
Seb, can you please stop dowloading ? My conversation is lagging.00:11:41
-Oh, oops sorry.00:11:43
-I'll wait you into my maze, Duck-man.00:11:45
But hurry faster, the guests are already here."00:11:51
*diabolic laugh*00:11:56
"Oracle, give me all you've got about this place !00:11:59
-Jupiter and Pluto will both have a good aspect, meaning that you will have a good luck potential ;00:12:04
which can help you to increase your pay.00:12:07
-Jupiter and Pluto...00:12:10
It worked ! Thanks Oracle.00:12:19
Well Duckman it looks like you fell in my trap once more00:12:22
You are in a special room00:12:23
To get out, you don't have a choice but to finish my challenge00:12:26
I have put a couch just like yours, you will find a remote to change the decoration as you wish and I have put a coke on the table00:12:32
Cool, you're actually a pretty nice guy00:12:34
I have licked it00:12:36
Monster, I will kill you00:12:39
Urrgh... I guess I have no choice. Come on.00:12:43
No...no...00:12:46
No, this is shit....00:12:48
Ah this is not bad but00:12:50
actually I'll keep the classic one00:12:53
Let's go for The uncanny X-men released on the NES in 1989 edited by...00:12:59
*sigh* ...LJN00:13:00
After the most austere level selection screen I've rarely seen00:13:03
the game starts and00:13:05
...ok so lifebars, indications, storyline, number of lives00:13:09
We don't give a fuck about all that *pfft* Who needs an interface?00:13:13
It's so much more practical to press Start everytime you want to see your lifebar.00:13:17
It's just like the story, I mean it's overrated. You can already guess it.00:13:20
From the floor texture I can clearly tell that for example this level is from X-men against the steaks.00:13:26
So the first thing is this game is a visual trash bin00:13:29
This is the graveyard of beauty. I mean look at this crudfest00:13:33
Every level is a work of art which redefines the concepts of ugliness00:13:37
I mean what is this place? What are these things? Does these kill me?00:13:41
And where am I? In the bad guy's anus?00:13:44
Even in the level where you kind of understand that it's supposed to be a spaceship00:13:48
it looks like it has been made by a crazy architect00:13:50
There's no game design... There's no design00:13:54
There's not much game actually00:13:56
I mean look at this shitty zone, it looks like my game glitched00:14:00
There's no transition between sceneries, I go from pasta zone to that00:14:03
So you can choose your hero before the level starts :00:14:06
you can choose between Wolverine, Storm, Colossus, Diablo, Cyclops and Iceman00:14:10
And of course they couldn't be arsed to create real characters00:14:14
we just have shitty palette swaps on Third-world sprites00:14:17
Colossus looks like Captain Planet, Storm looks like Tina Turner in Mad Max 300:14:21
and Wolverine without his fucking claws00:14:24
How can you manage to miss that ? I mean that the first thing you see on any image of Wolverine00:14:29
And how did they do in LJN ? What was their commercial skill ?00:14:33
I mean they screwed up all their licenses but they always managed to get them all.00:14:37
LJN guy : "Come on ! Sign !" License holder : "No"00:14:38
LJN guy : "Come oooooooooooon!"00:14:40
License holder : "Ok then"00:14:41
So the heroes are split in two groups : those who can shoot and those who don't00:14:45
Needless to say : in a game where the enemies appear infinitely, without interruption, in the middle of the screen ans jump everywhere00:14:52
what should I do with a hero who can only do melee fighting ?00:14:57
And when you add to that glitchy hitboxes on some monsters00:15:02
Look at that ! I'm not hitting it !00:15:04
Stop moving !00:15:07
Fuck ! I am Colossus and I can't kill a spring ! Shit !00:15:12
At the start you can choose to play with one or two players because the game can be played with a 2 players cooperative mode00:15:17
but which friend are you going to invite to play that? And if you do, what kind of friend are you ?00:15:22
JdG :"Hey do you want to go to my place to have a really bad time?"00:15:24
Seb : "Be my guest !"00:15:26
JdG : "Should I get you a big glass of piss?"00:15:28
That said don't worry! if you don't have friends, that's not bad!00:15:32
Actually yes...kinda00:15:34
In any case, the CPU can play the second character for you00:15:37
Ah there we go ! Ah I feel so much less alone now.00:15:41
It's a bit like my mentally handicapped friend who's missing an arm was playing with me.00:15:46
I have no words in french to describe the level of stupidity of the AI controlling the second character00:15:51
I mean you have to deal with it but it is unable to avoid enemies, unable to hit them, it walks on every fucking trap00:16:01
and it can't go through doors without dying00:16:04
Don't fucking stay there, you're gonna die at the door you buff-oh you...00:16:09
4 seconds ! 4 seconds ! That's the time it takes to go from the beginning of the game to the first door00:16:14
and notice that the AI can't go through doors !00:16:17
If there was a game tester who tested the game for 4 seconds, he would have noticed that there's a problem00:16:22
because yeah the enemies, the mutants, that's nice but we don't speak enough about the doors !00:16:26
The enemies does barely any damage by hitting me00:16:29
I can spend minutes getting my prostate massaged by groups of monsters00:16:32
but the doors kill me in one hit !00:16:34
Great idea ! Let's have AI that fall into every trap and doors that kill you in one hit.00:16:39
That's like making blind people participate in Survivor00:16:41
Fuck, I'm having the time of my life.00:16:43
Hey get out! What is he doing dammit?00:16:46
I can't believe this retard got me stuck on the door then suicided afterwards !00:16:50
By the way, of course the doors move randomly. No need to try to find the door's opening pattern, there's none.00:16:56
Thankfully the enemies regularly drops temporary invincibility items so you can go through doors.00:17:00
I use invincibility so I can go through doors00:17:04
And since we talked about the enemies, come on ! I mean let's be honest about it :00:17:07
you picked random sprites so you can have enemies huh?00:17:10
Watch out ! A wheel ! A butterfly ! A pineapple !00:17:13
Fucking leave me alone you fucking bubbles ! Can't you see I'm trying to save the world ?00:17:18
This game is so ugly that when testing it we didn't know how to communicate !00:17:22
Seb : "Watch out for the radiator with some sort of bra on his head."00:17:25
JdG : "Wait you mean the cyber-ladybug or the thing that looks like a fried squid?"00:17:29
In short we have all the roster of a lack of imagination : spiders, beetles ...springs...00:17:37
Springs...seriously?00:17:40
How can a spring can become a bad guy in a comics?00:17:56
JdG : "What? You wanna play?"00:17:57
Seb : "No."00:17:59
And of course, this game is hard, the levels are maze-like and last forever00:18:03
I spent hours without encountering a boss going back and fourth00:18:08
picking up keys whom I have no clue of their usefullness since I've never seen a door with a keylock00:18:13
Not only is this game not amusing but it digs, it digs00:18:17
this is the speleology of fun, the death of joy...00:18:22
I'm sorry Magret00:18:24
Magret :"It's too late for me Duckman. I trust you to keep Duck city safe."00:18:27
JdG : "Magret you're starting to piss me off with these jok-"00:18:33
JdG : "The Night eagle ?"00:18:34
Pygargueman : "No, the pygargue dammit !"00:18:36
Pygargueman : "Look : dog, cat ,Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet, pygargue. That's not complicated !"00:18:43
Pygargueman : "Come on ! It's time to go !"00:18:46
Riddler : "You cheated ! You were not supposed to leave until you finished the game!"00:18:50
Riddler : "Cheaters !" (with varous pitches)00:19:02
Pygargueman : "He just sent his henchmen" Duckman : "What do we do now?"00:19:12
Kid : "Gotcha !"00:19:21
Pygargueman : "What? It's just rubber bullets."00:19:43
Riddler : "Are you crazy you lunatics? Those are not my men, it's a 4th grade class !"00:20:25
Riddler : "Well, it's about time!"00:20:27
Duckman : "First tell us who you are !"00:20:29
Riddler : "There are two doors in front of you : one will lead you to a slow and painful death, the other to your friend Magret."00:20:35
Riddler : "but only a superior intellect will be able to solve this riddle"00:20:42
Riddler : "I am a white-headed bird. I come from north america, symbol of the United States since 1789"00:20:48
Riddler : "I am a sort of diurnal bird of prey who feeds mainly on fish."00:20:52
Riddler : "My name comes from the latin word which means literally "who has white buttocks." Who am I?"00:21:11
Pygargueman : "The pygargue !"00:21:12
Duckman : "Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet?"00:21:14
Pygargueman : "Noooooooooooooooooooo"00:21:20
Greetings. If you watch this video, it's because you confused Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet with a white-headed pygargue."00:21:26
It's okay. This mistake is common. But look at this montage which will explain the subtle differences that you'd never noticed.00:21:34
Majestic bird which flies over vast snowy landscapes in north america,00:21:39
If this head is familiar, it's because it represents a symbol of the absolute power of one of the biggest countries in the world : the United States of America.00:21:47
However, it's not Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet.It's...00:21:52
the pygargue [TN : sea eagle in french]00:21:54
Often wrongly confused with the candidate for Paris mayorship in 201400:21:58
who yet shares little in common with it00:22:00
the pygargue is not even a politician.00:22:05
So remember now : when you'll see that yellow beak and that piercing stare,00:22:11
You will not think Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet. You'll think...00:22:13
PygargueDescription:
Vidéos réponses aux questions : Un aigle ? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffRUntstOdw Ou un pygargue ? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1zLNzVC_vw Nouvel épisode de JDG ! Un gros épisode du coup, désolé pour l'attente. On va commencer à retourner sérieusement les jeux basés sur les comics ! on en avait déjà fait, mais il en reste plein d'autres ! Début d'une nouvelle Saga à la façon RPG avec l'épisode 1 où on va aller voir Batman Dark tomorrow sur GameCube et X-men sur NES !
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How can I download an audio track (music) to MP3 "Joueur du grenier - Les jeux de COMICS #1"?
The most convenient way is to use the UDL Client program, which supports converting video to MP3 format. In some cases, MP3 can also be downloaded through the UDL Helper extension.
How can I save a frame from a video "Joueur du grenier - Les jeux de COMICS #1"?
This feature is available in the UDL Helper extension. Make sure that "Show the video snapshot button" is checked in the settings. A camera icon should appear in the lower right corner of the player to the left of the "Settings" icon. When you click on it, the current frame from the video will be saved to your computer in JPEG format.
What's the price of all this stuff?
It costs nothing. Our services are absolutely free for all users. There are no PRO subscriptions, no restrictions on the number or maximum length of downloaded videos.