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Геннадий Хазанов "Шедевр" (1990)

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Фитиль, выпуск № 19 (1964) смотреть онлайн

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Channel: Киножурнал Фитиль (официальный канал)

Фитиль "Коварство и любовь" (1965) смотреть онлайн

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Channel: Киножурнал Фитиль (официальный канал)

фитиль

сатира

СССР

все серии

смотреть все выпуски

комично

1990 год

сборник

ссср

киножурнал фитиль

фитиль смотреть онлайн

смотреть онлайн

юмор

сборник 1990 год

сатирический киножурнал фитиль

Беспокойное хозяйство

Воры в законе

Демонстрант

Кормилец

Накололся

Подарочек

Простая история

Сильнее смерти

Террорист

Чужая родня

00:00:18

[music]

00:00:23

[applause]

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[music]

00:01:05

[music]

00:01:13

Vasily Petrovich, well,

00:02:24

let’s say you remember this or forget it,

00:02:34

and by the way,

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what words are written down for the whole country, please,

00:02:46

we will take all measures and we will be able to feed the people

00:02:49

tomorrow he, well, so what?

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tomorrow has already come

00:02:57

and the strong feeder of the soul is

00:03:01

this leader I know how to keep my word

00:03:04

well done everything is fine everything was delicious you

00:03:12

give

00:03:15

think when you promise to be rude to the

00:03:18

people tomorrow an assistant is no longer an assistant and this

00:03:21

was to find a metaphor well figurative

00:03:25

expressions you know this Afro hummed his

00:03:28

metaphor to explain to them

00:03:31

[music ]

00:03:41

[music]

00:03:49

[music]

00:03:57

read

00:04:01

[music]

00:04:15

[music]

00:04:26

[music]

00:04:41

come here

00:04:42

[music]

00:04:47

in general, comrade comrade, listen to you

00:04:53

here again,

00:05:12

I saw how the accountant pressed how the

00:05:17

chairman of the cooperative was smeared on the wall,

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remember I I will be twice

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once for you the second time the tires of your

00:05:27

coffin according to the law according to what law 60 60

00:05:37

pieces

00:05:41

so what is the godfather’s law that one

00:05:46

inspector didn’t understand that you read the

00:05:49

tax law here I

00:05:54

wait guys and then what should we do

00:05:59

by the way and how much will you collect

00:06:01

three pieces three pieces submitting then fill out

00:06:05

the declaration and tomorrow you pay tax on

00:06:08

three pieces Pavel

00:06:10

you finally for what and

00:06:14

individual labor children

00:06:21

[music]

00:06:28

accidents Stepan

00:06:30

good afternoon hello hello

00:06:38

congratulations to you well we’ll put a

00:06:42

reactor in your apartment like you’re a reactor I’m

00:06:46

you called the plumber

00:06:48

nuclear reactor on underground water

00:06:54

went crazy

00:06:55

on 8 also alive to me it’s not that

00:06:59

underground water is stones and I’ll put it on don’t

00:07:02

do this to them neighbors we

00:07:04

agreed on everything they object to letting

00:07:06

underground water pass through not

00:07:09

allowing them cold water will be so convenient for the world

00:07:15

and from above from the reactor it’s

00:07:20

hot from, well, why in my apartment,

00:07:24

well, first of all, these are apartments not in your

00:07:27

state and the one in which he built

00:07:30

everything, our road belongs to

00:07:33

the state,

00:07:34

it’s a great honor they called us from the center and

00:07:38

said that there is an opinion to build it in

00:07:42

your city,

00:07:45

why? in the set of gas it is a great

00:07:50

honor,

00:07:51

I understand we agreed with the city

00:07:53

authorities, they named the currency,

00:07:55

but why exactly in my apartment we

00:07:59

agreed from the building management, we did not

00:08:00

name the Second World War and regularly pay for the

00:08:02

apartment ourselves, we must understand,

00:08:03

I understand, interfere with the work, you must

00:08:06

understand that this is an excellent reactor, the

00:08:10

last word science and technology or

00:08:17

in your center, yes, are you crazy,

00:08:24

you know how our system is,

00:08:29

then I’ll take care of God, we’ve

00:08:38

all provided for an

00:08:40

excellent reactor, but everything can be,

00:08:44

live in peace, our main concern is about

00:08:48

people

00:08:50

[music]

00:08:57

[music]

00:09:10

girl hello girl, here are my

00:09:13

documents, I’ve had them for a few days,

00:09:15

have you been silent, have you received a postcard, you should have

00:09:18

received a phone check, the girl sees

00:09:24

that the look is distracting, because I’m silent, typhus,

00:09:27

and they didn’t tell you anything, nothing, and

00:09:30

a postcard, I received what happened to you

00:09:34

from the department, they called you poison, strange, what

00:09:39

happened to you changed 0

00:09:42

and for what

00:09:46

why well how do you still don’t know where it

00:09:51

happened we don’t write no telegraph

00:09:56

everything has been correct for a long time already a month since you

00:09:58

changed the address of the

00:09:59

whole house they changed the address no only you

00:10:04

what to do even storm I’m already

00:10:07

waiting for telegram letters and a summons

00:10:12

to arrive Krasyuka where do you send them,

00:10:17

wait, they really didn’t

00:10:20

say anything and that’s why the girl

00:10:30

changed her last name in connection with the introduction of a new

00:10:32

camp,

00:10:33

but I have a list that is opposed by a bird

00:10:39

warned or a full check,

00:10:45

excuse me, Pierce girl, your last name is

00:10:48

Semyon Ivanovich Krysyuk

00:10:52

no no that’s all left here is the birth of 26

00:10:55

I am typing and now we are 64 Jewish

00:11:01

again you are a salesman in the vegetable department I

00:11:07

rolled out what I could now but without work

00:11:09

we have consequences here for little things for two years

00:11:12

you have no relatives there I have to and

00:11:15

now there is also here it is written that you

00:11:17

served some - then the documents

00:11:18

asked for something that horror stories, well, it’s not clear here, but

00:11:21

you were denied bandages, we’re writing telegrams and

00:11:25

that they’re beautiful so that the wheels are in trouble,

00:11:27

answer the same for you to put on coal, there’s

00:11:35

now a

00:11:38

march-march, I watched the attack, there are

00:11:43

two children, a son, 18, a daughter, 27, to his uncle, he asks

00:11:48

where they are We left on the

00:11:51

1st, I’m writing mash, it’s clear to them from yours and to me

00:11:56

a message that you died in Dezh.

00:12:03

I can’t change we you give who can

00:12:06

change your appearance without your

00:12:08

consent, thank God we have a rule of law

00:12:29

[music]

00:12:41

[music]

00:12:46

for mom don’t come here bystrov

00:12:51

somewhere in October

00:12:56

why are you standing there and dad isn’t

00:12:58

[music]

00:13:04

I was there in the morning and now I’m gone

00:13:08

[music]

00:13:10

alas, nothing could be done age

00:13:20

[music]

00:13:22

[applause]

00:13:25

hello

00:13:29

[music] that’s right,

00:13:36

here I am saying age is age

00:13:39

what

00:13:41

what age all move away please

00:13:45

because

00:13:59

[music] it does

00:14:17

n’t get any more alive than that dial a

00:14:21

little bit

00:14:27

let's hurry up in half an hour roll call

00:14:31

but that's the point about strength that the veterans will not

00:14:34

die to choose when we

00:14:37

still need to take the refrigerator today

00:14:39

[music]

00:14:44

buy they must save the rest of the

00:14:47

water drink wherever you go

00:14:50

just because it's your closet for childbirth for some reason it

00:14:57

was necessary to give it back to the wall

00:15:00

later

00:15:02

and we won’t give you veterans, Dad, life is

00:15:09

just beginning, so our economy,

00:15:12

without pampering the centenarian, will

00:15:14

bathe the yard, or else

00:15:24

58

00:15:25

[music]

00:15:44

dear passengers,

00:15:46

even the flight takes place at an altitude of 10,000

00:15:49

meters, the temperature is over desk

00:15:52

50 estimated time of arrival at the airport and

00:15:56

my screams 16 honestly

00:16:02

yes I’m

00:16:05

listening to you the girl knows something oh

00:16:09

my God again I know the bomb

00:16:11

how she guessed the job for me such a girl will

00:16:14

feed you hard the woman don’t bother you

00:16:16

see she’s busy they found out what Stockholm I

00:16:21

don’t advise you there ours usually I rent

00:16:23

back Yes, I understand that until New York there is kerosene and there won’t

00:16:26

be enough here, one was already interested in the

00:16:28

fog in London, Tel Aviv doesn’t accept

00:16:32

you personally, I don’t advise you,

00:16:35

yes, I understand in general that’s the way a girl, when

00:16:40

to feed for a minute means it’s difficult there

00:16:44

yamaha and it’s hard to break your tongue, why are you

00:16:49

yelling? Berlin remains far from the coffin to

00:16:53

beat him, well, don’t tell me there now it’s good, yes

00:16:56

I was just yesterday and today you are

00:16:58

where we want Mariupol, I want it clear to my

00:17:01

wife where the strawberries ripened there and I’m on the

00:17:05

third day that time is sweeter

00:17:07

more grandfather 1 thank you

00:17:14

myself 3rd day to live on a loan and ca

00:17:18

n’t wait, suddenly a girl comrades leaves me

00:17:25

for my irrigation I’ll give it to my

00:17:32

mother

00:17:44

[applause]

00:17:46

[music]

00:18:10

[music]

00:18:13

son

00:18:16

[music]

00:18:28

at the competition

00:18:30

wait on the fourth on the fourth I

00:18:35

graduated last spring like this I’ve been married

00:18:41

for two years

00:18:43

33 is good, nothing to say here, she didn’t

00:18:48

introduce anything new

00:18:50

until they introduce you to your house, there’s almost no

00:18:53

marriage during the day in the area in front and in

00:18:57

the evening in the frame you’ll earn extra money, but

00:19:02

I’d like to see my daughter-in-law Wilson

00:19:06

after the wedding only 3 times I saw it, then we have a

00:19:09

choice, then re-election, then I’m a trusted person

00:19:12

and I don’t have a nasty face, so

00:19:19

you don’t know what your own wife

00:19:22

looks like, why are there monographs, I

00:19:28

forgot

00:19:30

I always have 3 on her

00:19:35

and her name is oh that’s what I saw this girl the other

00:19:38

day she was washing the floors I’ll think about it later that

00:19:42

her mother called her from the company Zarya

00:19:44

Auto Boo Matilda and asked so she

00:19:49

knows you herself that you are your wife I think I know I’ll

00:19:53

leave a note

00:19:57

but I personally couldn’t say but I see her then

00:20:01

she’s running around shopping for groceries,

00:20:03

she’s singing at the rally due to the lack of goods

00:20:08

what a lovely creature, and my daughter

00:20:12

Sasha, come on, Sasha of the office,

00:20:21

sit down, what a girl, a boy, it

00:20:30

really turns out to be a boy, do

00:20:34

n’t you know who you have, how can I know,

00:20:38

who should know for the whole week in

00:20:40

kindergarten, and in the evenings, the people’s

00:20:41

squad is full-fledged whirling here so

00:20:46

the family has nothing to say, well, what can you do about

00:20:49

the time? I’m having a rally against

00:20:54

dumping waste into the country’s rivers

00:20:58

[music]

Description:

Сатирический киножурнал Фитиль. Цель создания киножурнала — борьба с негативными явлениями в жизни страны: взяточничеством, пьянством, разгильдяйством, бюрократией и расхищением государственного имущества и тому подобными. В советские времена киножурнал показывали перед сеансом в кинотеатре. Первый выпуск сатирического киножурнала вышел на экран 4 июня 1962 года. С 1962 по 1995 год журнал выходил в кинотеатрах перед сеансами, за это время вышло 393 выпуска по 10 минут, а затем с 14 марта 2004 года по 3 августа 2008 года выходил на телеканале «Россия». В 1993—1998 годах советские выпуски «Фитиля» показывали по ТВ-6, в 1998—2000 годах — на НТВ, в 2001—2003 годах — на РТР (позже — «России»). Всего за 46 лет существования киножурнала появились 432 выпусков. 187 новых выпусков было показано в телеформате. Последний раз «Фитиль» вышел 3 августа 2008 года. Сюжеты: Беспокойное хозяйство, Воры в законе, Демонстрант, Кормилец, Накололся, Подарочек, Простая история, Сильнее смерти, Террорист, Чужая родня.

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