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00:00:00
MATT: Hello, everyone! And welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role,00:00:02
where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors00:00:03
sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.00:00:05
ALL: We play Dungeons & Dragons!00:00:08
LAURA: This gets worse and worse.00:00:09
MATT: It's a slow descent into complete and utter madness.00:00:15
Before we jump into tonight's game,00:00:16
we have some quick announcements to get through.00:00:18
First and foremost, our returning sponsor00:00:20
of campaign two: our friends at D&D Beyond. Sam.00:00:25
SAM: D&D Beyond. You know what's great about D&D Beyond, guys?00:00:27
TRAVIS: Tell us, Sam.
LIAM: Everything.00:00:29
SAM: Everything, but also they don't know00:00:31
what they're sponsoring every week.00:00:33
They know generally that the show, or the show that we do,00:00:36
we play the D&Ds and stuff, they get that.00:00:39
But they don't know this segment what they're going to get.00:00:41
Sometimes they get an award-winning00:00:44
song parody from yours truly.00:00:46
Other times they get a glimpse into history,00:00:48
and that's what we're going to do today.00:00:50
MATT: Sometimes they get a shark costume.00:00:51
SAM: Sometimes they get a shark costume.00:00:52
You guys know that I was a huge fan00:00:55
of the sitcom You've Got Gale growing up.00:00:57
It only ran one episode,00:01:00
but it was massively influential to me.00:01:03
I've brought script pages00:01:05
from the episodes, lost episodes.00:01:08
In the past, I've presented things that I've found00:01:11
about You've Got Gale,00:01:13
starring our own Ashley Johnson, but--00:01:15
LAURA: You were so good at it.00:01:16
ASHLEY: Thank you so much.00:01:18
SAM: I was just at the, as you guys know,00:01:20
every Wednesday I go to the Film and TV Archives00:01:22
in Hollywood and I was there yesterday,00:01:24
and I found something that I did not know existed.00:01:29
CBS when they put out this program were so forward-thinking00:01:32
that they already had a movie spin-off planned00:01:35
for You've Got Gale, and they shot a trailer for it.00:01:38
Now the trailer has been lost to time.00:01:40
They only saved it on Betamax tape,00:01:42
but the transcript of the trailer exists.00:01:45
So tonight with D&D Beyond's support,00:01:49
we will present a radio play of sorts of the trailer00:01:53
for the spin-off movie for the show You've Got Gale,00:01:57
that had definitely existed in the 80s.00:01:59
TRAVIS: Oh, that's what this is.00:02:00
ASHLEY: How did you find this?00:02:02
I just, it's amazing.
SAM: It was deep00:02:03
in the back of the library.00:02:05
Anyway, Matt will be narrating,00:02:08
Marisha's going to be doing sound effects for us.00:02:10
Everyone's playing a little role.00:02:13
Maybe some music, Matt, if you don't mind.00:02:15
MATT: Yeah, we can do that. SAM: Just a little action.00:02:17
(laughter)00:02:18
This is a trailer that you would've seen00:02:19
in a movie theater in like, 1985.00:02:23
Take it away.00:02:25
MATT: (movie trailer VO voice) This summer,00:02:27
a new hero will rise.00:02:30
ASHLEY: Save the orphans!00:02:31
I'm going to take out their headquarters!00:02:33
LIAM: (gruff voice) No!00:02:34
It's a suicide mission!00:02:36
They have missile launchers!00:02:38
ASHLEY: Missile launchers?00:02:40
MARISHA: (gun cocking)00:02:41
ASHLEY: I eat missile launchers for brunch.00:02:43
MARISHA: Dun-dum!00:02:45
MATT: A hero without a past.00:02:48
TRAVIS: (Russian accent) You shot all of my men!00:02:50
How did you find me?!00:02:51
Who are you?00:02:53
ASHLEY: Folks call me--00:02:54
MARISHA: (gun cocking)00:02:55
ASHLEY: -- justice, bitch.00:02:57
(laughter)00:03:00
MATT: On the battlefield, she's an ice-cold killer.00:03:04
But in the bedroom, a red hot lover.00:03:08
(phone ringing)00:03:09
LAURA: My god, what did you do to me last night?00:03:12
ASHLEY: Everything your body wanted.00:03:15
LAURA: Cigarette?00:03:17
ASHLEY: Thanks, but I don't think that cigarette--00:03:22
MARISHA: (gun cocking)00:03:23
ASHLEY: --could handle me.00:03:24
(laughter)00:03:26
LAURA: Oh!00:03:28
MATT: A hero with one name.00:03:30
TALIESIN: Damn it!00:03:32
I'm the President of the United States of America,00:03:34
and I'm ordering you to stand down!00:03:36
ASHLEY: Excuse me, Mr. President.00:03:39
MARISHA: (gun cocking)00:03:40
ASHLEY: Why don't you gag me with a spoon?00:03:42
MARISHA: Dun-dum!00:03:44
MATT: Ashley Johnson is Gale, in Gale Force Five,00:03:48
a Gale in Your Coffin, gagging spoons in theaters everywhere00:03:52
this Memorial Day.00:03:55
SAM: That was brilliant!00:03:56
TRAVIS: Oh man, just like when you were younger!00:03:58
ASHLEY: Yeah, it took a while to get back into it.00:04:02
MATT: It's a shame that never made it--00:04:04
ASHLEY: It's a shame, it was going to be really special.00:04:08
When did we shoot it?00:04:09
MATT: How much did you shoot?00:04:10
ASHLEY: How much did we? We shot a whole film.00:04:11
It was five hours, but.00:04:15
It just was too long.00:04:17
SAM: It was completely shot on Betamaxes.00:04:18
ASHLEY: It was.00:04:19
LIAM: When I was a kid in the 80's,00:04:22
Terminator 2 and Gale Force Five00:04:23
informed my whole childhood.00:04:25
TRAVIS: That's true.00:04:26
ASHLEY: Absolutely.00:04:28
TALIESIN: Both good uses of the LA river, too.00:04:30
(laughter)00:04:33
SAM: Anyway, thank you D&D Beyond,00:04:35
for bringing wonderful art like this back into our lives.00:04:39
We appreciate you, please subscribe, if you haven't already.00:04:42
MATT: Thank you, Sam, thank you D&D Beyond.00:04:44
Just to remind you,00:04:46
because I don't think it came up in that entire spot,00:04:47
D&D Beyond is a service where you can create D&D characters.00:04:51
Digitally.00:04:53
And keep all your character information online.00:04:56
It's very useful, we use it too,00:04:58
thank you, D&D Beyond.00:04:59
(laughter)00:05:02
Okay.00:05:03
(laughter)00:05:07
Letting you guys know,00:05:08
we are heading to Denver Pop Culture Con,00:05:10
the first weekend of June, coming up a lot faster00:05:12
than I think any of us were prepared for.00:05:14
We have a limited number of autograph00:05:15
and photo ops available at denverpopculturecon.com,00:05:19
so make sure you check it out.00:05:21
Goes without saying, but I'm going to say it,00:05:24
because we're going to keep saying this,00:05:26
because we're filled with so much gratefulness,00:05:28
thank you everybody who helped make this Kickstarter00:05:30
as insane as it's been.00:05:32
We closed out midnight of last week00:05:35
with our friend, Joel Hodgson, present.00:05:36
We had a little half an hour closing party,00:05:39
you can see on our YouTube channel,00:05:40
where we all got super emotional00:05:42
and proceeded to down shot after shot of "totally alcohol,"00:05:49
but yeah--00:05:50
LAURA: We sold it well, though.00:05:52
TRAVIS: It had a good sting.00:05:53
TALIESIN: That was definitely not caffeinated,00:05:56
and definitely didn't keep me up for five hours after.00:05:58
That was not a problem.00:06:00
MARISHA: Got no emails from our Twitch rep, so (click).00:06:03
I think the statute of limitations has passed.00:06:06
MATT: No seriously, thank you guys so much00:06:07
for all your support.00:06:08
We're now knee-deep in the pre-production00:06:10
and getting everything going.00:06:12
We're super excited and it's been fun00:06:15
for a lot of us to go back and start listening00:06:16
and rewatching the old campaign episodes00:06:20
and reliving those moments.00:06:21
LIAM: We're going to make a cartoon!00:06:22
TRAVIS: We were so good at D&D back then.00:06:26
What's advantage?00:06:27
LAURA: Oh, gosh.00:06:29
TALIESIN: Oh, I'm not ready.00:06:30
MATT: You are remotely better now, it's good.00:06:33
Thank you guys, again.00:06:34
Laura, do you have a merch update?00:06:36
LAURA: Oh, I do.00:06:37
You might have noticed on Twitter today00:06:39
that we announced our00:06:42
Grog Strongjaw mugs.00:06:45
TRAVIS: (as Grog) (excited noises)00:06:47
LAURA: Ale tankards.00:06:48
Wait, and this is the box it comes in.00:06:50
SAM: The box is fucking lit.00:06:51
LAURA: We haven't shown this off yet,00:06:52
and we're really excited about the box,00:06:54
so I'm going to, hold on, hold on.00:06:55
SAM: It's an unboxing.00:06:56
LAURA: Oh my god, it's an unboxing.00:06:58
This is the mug, hold on, hold on, hold on.00:07:02
It's got, "How Do You Want to Do This?"00:07:03
If you drink, it's got Critical Role00:07:06
written on the bottom so everyone sees it.00:07:08
SAM: Oh nice.00:07:09
LAURA: Then, another thing you can buy is this!00:07:12
That you could add to it, if you want to be Grog-y about it,00:07:14
or Yasha-y about it.00:07:16
ASHLEY: Yeah! I would like to rage!00:07:19
TRAVIS and ASHLEY: (rage yelling)00:07:22
LAURA: It's pretty fucking cool.00:07:24
SAM: That is.00:07:25
LAURA: We're really excited about it.00:07:27
SAM: I want eight of them for my dining room table.00:07:29
LAURA: Oh, shit!00:07:30
Then can I say one other thing00:07:32
that's not on the announcement list?00:07:33
Because this just came in today.00:07:36
(excited breathing)00:07:37
This is my new dice bag!00:07:40
Look at it, wait, look at, look!00:07:42
This is by Christina. She's amazing.00:07:44
I'll put a link to her Etsy page because she's phenomenal.00:07:47
She does custom bags and so she did my Vex one,00:07:49
which is really full,00:07:50
and now I can fill up a second Jester one,00:07:53
and on the inside, she did like,00:07:55
a thing where it's got Jester doodles00:07:58
on the inside of the bag, like there's Tusktooth!00:08:01
It's just amazing,00:08:03
and I haven't had a chance to put dice in it yet,00:08:05
because it just came in, but.00:08:06
LIAM: You're going to wipe the slate clean00:08:07
and start all over with new dice.00:08:09
LAURA: Shut up, shut up, shut up, no!00:08:13
Thank you, Christina, I really appreciate that.00:08:15
ASHLEY: I'm going to commission one.00:08:17
LAURA: Yeah.00:08:18
ASHLEY: I want one.00:08:19
LAURA: They're pretty amazing.00:08:21
TALIESIN: I feel like that's admitting I have a habit,00:08:22
I'm not ready for that.00:08:23
(laughter)00:08:25
MATT: I believe that ends our announcements00:08:28
and as such, let's bring us in00:08:31
for tonight's episode of Critical Role.00:08:34
(cheering)00:08:38
[water bubbling]00:08:45
[explosion]00:08:48
♪ Role, Critical Role ♪00:08:52
♪ Role, Critical Role ♪00:08:57
♪ Role, Critical Role ♪00:08:59
♪ Roll, Critical, roll the dice ♪00:09:02
♪ Roll, Critical, roll the dice ♪00:09:04
♪ The adventure begins ♪00:09:06
♪ They were always beside you ♪00:09:08
♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪00:09:10
♪ The DM to guide you ♪00:09:12
♪ They rise from the flames ♪00:09:14
♪ For the battles ahead ♪00:09:17
♪ Villains beware 'cause you're 'bout to be dead ♪00:09:25
♪ They got magic and flare ♪00:09:27
♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪00:09:29
♪ They don't see over there ♪00:09:31
♪ There's a monster incoming ♪00:09:33
♪ Inspiration is waiting ♪00:09:35
♪ Rise up don't think twice ♪00:09:38
♪ Put your fate in your hands ♪00:09:39
♪ Take a chance ♪00:09:40
♪ Roll the dice ♪00:09:42
♪ Role, Critical, roll the dice ♪00:09:47
♪ Role, Critical, roll the dice ♪00:09:50
♪ Can you answer the call ♪00:09:52
♪ Diggin' deep in your soul ♪00:09:54
♪ As the legend unfolds ♪00:09:57
♪ Now it's your turn ♪00:10:00
♪ To roll ♪00:10:06
(fire crackling)00:10:13
LIAM: --daddy.00:10:14
MATT: And welcome back.00:10:18
Last we left off, The Mighty Nein,00:10:22
after allying themselves for the time being00:10:26
with The Bright Queen, of the Kryn Dynasty,00:10:28
over in Rosohna, previously known,00:10:30
historically as Ghor Dranas.00:10:33
Once the center of the Betrayer Gods,00:10:36
machinations in the Calamity,00:10:39
you begin to inquire as to means to further deepen00:10:43
this alliance and gain some more funds to continue00:10:48
your own respective interests.00:10:50
Upon speaking with Professor Waccoh,00:10:52
you were sent to the nearby mines in the Vermaloc Forest,00:10:57
where it seems a bastion of stone giants00:11:01
has taken over and sent most of the miners00:11:03
and steel workers running.00:11:06
Upon going there you briefly tussled with the giants00:11:09
before, instead, coming to a conversation00:11:12
and thinking maybe there's something beyond00:11:14
just this conflict.00:11:17
Finding that the giants had been00:11:20
essentially scared out of their home00:11:22
and they came here as means of defending themselves,00:11:24
you have made an agreement00:11:26
to help them in clearing out their home00:11:31
and whatever else seems to have pushed them out of it00:11:33
and in return, they would return.00:11:36
You managed to have one of them come along with you.00:11:38
The Landspeaker Soorna agreed to join you00:11:41
as you went to where they once lived in the Braan,00:11:45
which is Giant for belly.00:11:47
Upon arriving and slowly making your way00:11:49
through the wide stone giant tunnels,00:11:52
you were immediately beset with small demonic creatures.00:11:56
One of which, this sickly bulbous flea-like entity,00:12:01
or the fly-like entity, its a droning sound,00:12:04
the buzzing of its wings, causing a number of you00:12:07
to fall unconscious and nearly snuffing the life from Fjord,00:12:11
you managed to best them in battle.00:12:14
In the quiet moments, take a few minutes to breathe,00:12:19
heal up, and in Nott's instance,00:12:22
inspect the corpse of one of the fallen giants00:12:25
near the Bone Pit, this large open pit,00:12:28
that is filled with bones00:12:29
about ten feet down and below.00:12:31
Upon inspecting the body, you watch this strange glowing,00:12:34
jellyfish-like entity, just drift00:12:36
ethereally out of the wall and then lower itself00:12:40
into the body of the dead giant,00:12:41
in which the dead giant began to reanimate,00:12:44
its jaw tearing open into a terrible grin,00:12:47
the flesh on the sides of its face,00:12:48
tearing up to where near its ears are00:12:51
before it begins to rouse and that's where we left off.00:12:54
TRAVIS: I think you're misremembering.00:12:56
TALIESIN: Did I recognize the jellyfish entity,00:12:58
does it seem like something I would know?00:13:00
MATT: Make a religion check.00:13:01
TALIESIN: I will make a religion check.00:13:02
Same as it ever was.00:13:06
12.00:13:07
MATT: You have no idea what this is.00:13:09
You're not sure of the essence or nature of it,00:13:13
but you're watching a dead body now come to animate itself00:13:17
after coming into contact and absorbing this entity.00:13:19
TRAVIS: The one behind the pit, right?00:13:20
The one in the room we're in?00:13:21
MATT: Correct. You do still have one spell that is active.00:13:26
You still have your Holy Weapon active.00:13:29
I would like you all to roll initiative.00:13:30
(groaning)00:13:33
TRAVIS: Going back to the Grog die.00:13:35
LIAM: Colville die.00:13:36
SAM: We are starting off with combat that is powered by00:13:40
Dwarven Forge. They currently have a free00:13:42
406 page PDF module tied to their Dungeons of Doom products,00:13:46
available now on their website, Dwarven Forge.00:13:48
LAURA: Whoosh!00:13:49
MATT: Nice. 25 to 20?00:13:52
TALIESIN: 16, oh, yeah.00:13:55
We're going to do great! I'm fine!00:13:57
SAM: What did you just say?00:13:58
TALIESIN: Never mind.00:14:00
TRAVIS: Don't panic!00:14:03
MATT: 25 to 20?00:14:05
TRAVIS: Nobody.00:14:07
MATT: 20 to 15?00:14:08
TALIESIN: 16.
LAURA: 17.00:14:09
LIAM: 15.00:14:11
TRAVIS: Jester, Caleb--00:14:12
MATT: Caduceus then Caleb.00:14:13
TRAVIS: Yes.00:14:15
LIAM: Are you Swedish?00:14:16
MATT: 15 to 10?00:14:17
MARISHA: 14.
ASHLEY: 14!00:14:19
TRAVIS: 12.00:14:20
LIAM: Man, don't even recognize you anymore.00:14:22
LAURA and ASHLEY: 14!00:14:24
MATT: And then Fjord under that.00:14:28
Ten to five?00:14:30
SAM: That would be seven for me, Matthew.00:14:38
MATT: First up, as this giant, its head00:14:41
sickeningly snapping its neck,00:14:43
you hear the bones cracking as it adjusts itself,00:14:46
right up to face the rest of you, while its body is still00:14:49
laying entirely in a horizontal space.00:14:51
It's arms, (cracking), and it begins to shudder00:14:56
and stand with this horrible series of sounds00:14:58
as its body seems to be folding and breaking its way,00:15:01
back to its position, but it's your turn,00:15:03
what are you doing?00:15:05
LAURA: Oh, god.00:15:06
I'm going to grab my symbol of the Traveler,00:15:09
and I'm going to say:00:15:10
I hope you're down here with us right now,00:15:11
because I could really use your help!00:15:13
I'm going to try to Turn Undead.00:15:15
MATT: Okay.00:15:16
ASHLEY and TRAVIS: Ooh!00:15:17
SAM: To a giant?00:15:18
LAURA: I can do it to an undead.00:15:20
TALIESIN: If it's undead.00:15:21
MATT: That is a 15, what's the DC?00:15:23
LAURA: 17!00:15:24
ASHLEY and MARISHA: Yeah!00:15:25
MARISHA: Out of the gate.00:15:27
SAM: Short fight. Right?00:15:29
TRAVIS: No. Look at all that covered shit.00:15:31
LAURA: (reading) "It will spend its turn trying to move00:15:32
"as far away from you as it can,00:15:34
"it can't willingly move to a space within 30 feet of you,00:15:36
"it also can't take reactions.00:15:40
"For its action, it can only use the dash action,00:15:41
"or try to escape from an effect00:15:43
"that prevents it from moving."00:15:46
SAM: Oh, wait, so it can't even attack anybody else?00:15:48
LAURA: It can't come within 30 feet of me.00:15:51
MATT: Are you going to move, or are you going to stay put?00:15:54
LAURA: I'm going to...00:15:56
SAM: (pigeon cooing)00:15:57
TRAVIS: (pigeon cooing) Come over here!00:15:59
MATT: No pigeon.00:16:01
LAURA: I'm going to move, is that other creature still here?00:16:04
That other thing isn't still here?00:16:06
MATT: Currently, the only thing that you know00:16:07
that's moving in the vicinity is the giant.00:16:11
LAURA: Okay, then I'm going to move over00:16:12
and try to hide a little bit behind, yeah, right there.00:16:16
MATT: All right. LAURA: Not--I'm going to stand next to it, yeah.00:16:20
TALIESIN: I also, oh god, it's Turn Undead,00:16:23
so if we hit the giant, then the Turn Undead ends, right?00:16:25
Yeah, okay, so.00:16:26
LAURA: Does it? It doesn't say that.00:16:29
(reading) "If the creature fails its saving throw,00:16:31
"it is turned for one minute or until it takes any damage,"00:16:33
so don't hit it.00:16:35
MATT: That finishes your turn, Jester. Caduceus.00:16:37
TALIESIN: I was trying to remember my fucking rules,00:16:41
my brain's made of swiss cheese.00:16:43
I'm going to, this is looking weird,00:16:46
so I'm going to...00:16:51
get a little bit of distance,00:16:52
I'm going to head towards our giant,00:16:54
our non-undead giant friend over here00:16:57
and while I pass Fjord,00:16:58
I'm going to tap him and cast Death Ward.00:17:01
MATT: On the giant?00:17:02
TALIESIN: No, on Fjord.00:17:03
MATT: Oh, Fjord. You have Death Ward on you.00:17:05
TALIESIN: Which means that when you drop to zero hit points,00:17:07
you immediately pop back up to one.00:17:09
TRAVIS: Great. MATT: Are you going full movement, or are you staying there?00:17:12
You have ten more movement.00:17:14
TALIESIN: I want to hide in that corner if possible,00:17:16
yeah, get a little behind.00:17:19
MATT: That's as close as you can get right there.00:17:21
That finishes your go.00:17:22
TALIESIN: That finishes my go.00:17:23
MATT: Caleb.00:17:24
LIAM: I don't think that Caleb knows what's going on,00:17:27
because he's over here, looking out,00:17:29
so I'm just going to ready a Fire Bolt00:17:32
for anything that appears,00:17:33
and if something appears that looks dangerous,00:17:34
I'm going to blast it.00:17:35
MATT: That's true, you would not have actually seen00:17:37
any visual trigger for the Turn Undead.00:17:40
You're preparing a Fire Bolt--00:17:41
LIAM: Fire Bolt for anything dangerous coming.00:17:43
MATT: You got it. All righty.00:17:44
Finishing your turn then Caleb, so Beau and Yasha.00:17:47
What are you doing?00:17:49
ASHLEY: You can go. I don't know where I am.00:17:52
MARISHA: Oh, I saw Jester do her cool thing,00:17:56
so I'm going to bolt ahead towards the direction of Caleb.00:18:00
MATT: Go for it.00:18:01
MARISHA: Five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45.00:18:06
TALIESIN: Actually, where is Yasha?00:18:08
MATT: You going to hold your action, or?00:18:09
LIAM: Yasha's here, right by Marisha's board.00:18:12
TALIESIN: Oh, that would explain why.00:18:13
MATT: Yeah, she should be up here with the rest of you.00:18:14
I don't know why she got put over there.00:18:16
ASHLEY: I feel like I closed the rift thingy-mabobber.00:18:19
I think I'm in the hallway.00:18:21
I was over there. Oh, because it happened right there.00:18:24
MATT: We'll put you in that space and time.00:18:26
You're in that general vicinity.00:18:27
ASHLEY: I'm in the general vicinity, okay.00:18:29
MARISHA: I'm going to bonus action dash.00:18:31
MATT: Okay.00:18:33
MARISHA: Move behind the stalactite00:18:37
and try and peek and then can I--00:18:40
MATT: Okay.00:18:43
MARISHA: Use my...00:18:45
wait, run.00:18:47
ALL: Wait. Wait.00:18:49
MARISHA: I want to Patient Defense, can I do that, no?00:18:53
MATT: Your action is dash?00:18:54
MARISHA: Then my move, bonus action, sorry, Patient Defense.00:18:59
MATT: Then ki point to Patient Defense?00:19:01
MARISHA: Yes. MATT: You got it. So you go into defensive state.00:19:03
MARISHA: Then can I see anything in the dark?00:19:05
MATT: You used your action and other things, so you're not--00:19:09
make a general perception check,00:19:10
I'll say with disadvantage,00:19:11
because you didn't take an action to try00:19:13
and see specifically the vicinity around you in the dark.00:19:16
MARISHA: Eight.00:19:17
MATT: Eight?00:19:18
In the essence of running over there, getting behind it,00:19:21
and preparing yourself to defend,00:19:22
you've only just started glancing over there00:19:24
so you can't make out too much detail,00:19:25
so the next round more of it will become available to you,00:19:28
but this round,00:19:29
your eyes are still focusing from the transition.00:19:31
MARISHA: Copy.00:19:32
MATT: That finishes your turn. Yasha, what you got?00:19:34
ASHLEY: Okay.00:19:36
I want to start making my way towards the hall,00:19:39
but on the move, I would like to...00:19:44
Place a hand on Fjord before I leave.00:19:48
ASHLEY: I'm going to cast Healing Hands,00:19:52
which restores you for nine hit points,00:19:54
but I don't know if you--00:19:55
TRAVIS: I'll take it! Yeah! That's great.00:19:58
ASHLEY: It's something. So I'll do that.00:20:00
MATT: You put your hand out.00:20:01
ASHLEY: As I'm walking by and then I will finish my move00:20:06
to go out into the hallway.00:20:07
MATT: You got it.00:20:09
TRAVIS: Thank you.00:20:10
ASHLEY: You're welcome.00:20:11
MATT: 35, 40 is your movement?00:20:14
ASHLEY: Yep.00:20:15
MATT: You got it. You touch Fjord. You feel light00:20:18
coming out of your aasimar angelic essence.00:20:22
It surges through him and helps00:20:23
mend him of his wounds. You rush past,00:20:25
turn the corner, pass your giant friend, Soorna,00:20:27
and turn around to see both Caleb and Beau00:20:29
preparing for whatever is beyond00:20:31
that hallway in the darkness. ASHLEY: Okay, and I'm preparing.00:20:32
MATT: That finishes your go. Fjord, you're up.00:20:36
TRAVIS: I feel real fucking bad.00:20:38
Can I use my 30 feet of movement00:20:41
to head towards the hallway as well?00:20:43
MATT: Certainly.00:20:46
TRAVIS: Great.00:20:47
Thanks, Yasha, and I will cast Armor of Agathys on myself,00:20:52
at 5th-level, which will give me 25 temporary hit points.00:20:57
MATT: Okay, there you go.00:20:59
Perfect.00:21:00
TRAVIS: (hissing)00:21:02
MATT: The moisture in this cavern area00:21:06
that is around you all of a sudden00:21:08
gets siphoned out of its spaces00:21:09
and begins to droplet onto Fjord's armor. As it does,00:21:13
mist forms around the outside of the leather00:21:15
and all of it turns into layer after layer of shards of ice,00:21:18
pointing outward. That finishes your go.00:21:22
End of Fjord's turn, it is now the giant's turn.00:21:27
You've seen undead turned, you've seen them,00:21:31
the look of fear in their eyes.00:21:32
LAURA: Oh no.00:21:33
MATT: This one, as its body is rising,00:21:36
it still maintains eye contact with you.00:21:38
(crunching)00:21:41
SAM and TALIESIN: Oh no.00:21:42
SAM: What does it?00:21:44
MATT: For whatever reason, it seems like it would be undead,00:21:49
but it's not turned.00:21:51
LAURA: Oh, all right.00:21:52
LIAM: It's a skeleton robit.00:21:55
TALIESIN: It's a robit?
LIAM: Robit.00:21:56
MATT: Half of its movement to stand up,00:21:58
it still has 20 more feet of movement.00:21:59
LIAM: Oh boy.00:22:01
It's going to --00:22:02
TRAVIS: Not see Nott.00:22:05
MATT: No, it sees you, Nott,00:22:06
it's going to take a swing at you.00:22:07
TRAVIS: Its vision's based on movement!00:22:10
MATT: Natural 20. No joke.00:22:13
TALIESIN: Wait, let me see?00:22:14
Oh, I don't have line of sight, fuck.00:22:19
SAM: Uncanny dodge.00:22:21
MATT: It's a good call on that one,00:22:23
so you take half--00:22:25
LIAM: Straight roll.00:22:26
TALIESIN: Fuck, because I don't have fucking visual.00:22:31
MARISHA: Cool, cool, cool.00:22:33
TALIESIN: Got to keep everybody in my line of sight.00:22:34
ASHLEY: We should've threw him in the--00:22:35
LIAM: Is it 30 or 60--00:22:36
MATT: 34 points of bludgeoning damage, halved.00:22:39
LAURA: How many, how many, how many?00:22:41
SAM: Wait, okay, wait, really?00:22:43
MATT: Because you have uncanny dodge, the total is 34.00:22:45
SAM: Weren't you going to double that?00:22:46
MATT: No, that's with the doubled.00:22:48
SAM: Oh, that's not that bad.00:22:50
MATT: So reduce that to 17.00:22:53
TALIESIN: 30 feet.00:22:54
LIAM: That's about to here.00:22:55
MATT: Yeah, and it's going to leap across the bone pit.00:23:00
TRAVIS: Please fail your acrobatics check!00:23:01
SAM: I take a swipe at it!00:23:03
MATT: Huh?00:23:04
SAM: Can I take a swipe at it?00:23:05
MATT: Yeah, you can. It does leave your--00:23:07
SAM: I guess with a shortsword?00:23:08
MATT: Yes.00:23:09
SAM: Okay, ten plus shortsword.00:23:14
19.00:23:15
MATT: That does hit!00:23:16
SAM: Hey! Look at that.00:23:19
That's nine points of damage! From a shortsword!00:23:23
MATT: (whooshing)00:23:24
This flash, slight shimmer of whatever light is00:23:27
coming through the cavern reflects off the blade00:23:30
as, for the first time in a while,00:23:31
you've seen Nott use a non-crossbow.00:23:33
SAM: Uh!00:23:34
MATT: Carves past the heel. The flesh off its heel00:23:38
is now flapping a bit00:23:40
with the bone exposed.00:23:41
It doesn't seem hindered by it.00:23:42
As it lands, (crunching) as part of its landing,00:23:45
it's arcing down with its giant club00:23:47
on towards you, Jester.00:23:49
That is going to be 26 to hit.00:23:53
TRAVIS: No!00:23:54
LAURA: Oh, yeah, I guess that hits me.00:23:57
MATT: All right. MARISHA: Keeps clattering to the other side of the map.00:23:59
MATT: 18 points of bludgeoning damage to you.00:24:01
(thudding)00:24:02
As it impacts the armor, you guys hear a heavy (clang)00:24:06
as the front of her armor and shield00:24:07
takes the mass of the impact.00:24:09
She's thrown to the ground, knocked prone,00:24:11
but you get back up just barely--00:24:13
LAURA: I use Hellish Rebuke.00:24:14
MATT: All righty.
TRAVIS: Yeah, get it!00:24:16
LAURA: I scream at it--00:24:17
oh, I don't know if this is going to work,00:24:18
but oh well, because it's undead,00:24:20
but whatever, I've already said it, I'm going to say:00:24:23
I thought jellyfishes were supposed to be so pretty!00:24:25
(awwing)00:24:28
Then I'm going to do--00:24:30
MATT: What's the save on that, dexterity?00:24:33
LAURA: Yeah.00:24:34
MATT: Natural seven fails.00:24:36
LAURA: 3d10 cold damage.00:24:43
13, 15 points.00:24:45
MATT: All righty. After the impact, you push back, and00:24:48
shards of ice pierce in all these places00:24:50
and the ribcage is now exposed on one side00:24:53
and the shards of ice break off.00:24:55
You now have all these different piercing thorns00:24:58
and spears of ice sticking into its torso,00:25:00
and it seems to grin back at you00:25:01
with its horrible torn, crooked smile.00:25:03
TRAVIS: Holy shit.00:25:05
MATT: That finishes its turn. Nott, you're up.00:25:08
SAM: First, I will undo my nine points of damage00:25:11
because I already used uncanny dodge as my reaction.00:25:14
MATT: Oh, that's right.00:25:16
SAM: So that didn't happen, but--00:25:17
MATT: Well, you did swing, and it hit nothing.00:25:19
SAM: I will attack it now with my crossbow,00:25:22
because it's engaged with good ol' Jessie.00:25:24
MATT: It is.00:25:25
SAM: 17 plus a lot, that's 20 something.00:25:27
MATT: That definitely hits. You can roll damage.00:25:29
SAM: Yeah, yeah yeah.00:25:31
MATT: And Jester, you're up on deck.00:25:32
LAURA: Oh!00:25:34
SAM: Okay.00:25:35
MATT: Actually, no, Soorna's up on next, sorry.00:25:40
SAM: Okay, 25 points of damage.00:25:42
MATT: 25, nice!00:25:44
SAM: Plus a bonus, I will, shit,00:25:48
I don't want him to hit me again.00:25:50
I will just shoot again.00:25:51
MATT: Go for it, another attack.00:25:53
SAM: 19 plus a lot, that definitely hits.00:25:56
Three plus another, nine points of damage!00:25:59
That's the nine that I undid!00:26:01
MARISHA: Nine!00:26:03
MATT: Look at that, perfect.00:26:05
SAM: I'll move into that corner and hug the wall, yep.00:26:09
MATT: You got it.00:26:10
Finishing that, now we go to Soorna's turn.00:26:12
Soorna, watching this corpse rise up,00:26:14
eyes wide in horror, goes, "I'm sorry friend."00:26:19
SAM: What?00:26:21
MATT: Recognizes--00:26:22
SAM: Oh, to him, not to us.00:26:23
MATT: No, not to you.00:26:24
TRAVIS: Peace! (thudding)00:26:28
MATT: She just steps on Caduceus.00:26:30
TALIESIN: Ah! Oh, my back!00:26:33
MATT: Is going to ...00:26:40
TRAVIS: Jump into the pit.00:26:41
MATT: --throw another rock.00:26:43
Reaches off to one of the beds on the side,00:26:46
each of these beds, arranged here.00:26:48
Actually, sorry, these are tables.00:26:50
There's a section of the table on the side00:26:51
where it's made up of smaller rocks.00:26:53
She grabs a chunk of them, like three or four boulders00:26:55
and lugs them towards the creature, full might.00:26:58
(grunting)00:27:00
Three of them rush towards it and do impact, barely.00:27:05
Barely.00:27:08
So full damage on that attack there.00:27:15
TRAVIS: We need a total "Let them fight" moment.00:27:19
Let them fight.00:27:21
MATT: 33 points of bludgeoning damage.00:27:25
The bones crack on the inside,00:27:28
where they impact on the chin, it00:27:31
breaks open a bit and the jaw's hanging to one side,00:27:35
and the tongue is trying to reach down00:27:36
and grab the jaw to pull it back into place.00:27:39
SAM: Gross.00:27:41
MATT: Soorna, after throwing the rocks,00:27:43
she looks down towards you and she goes,00:27:44
"Be careful, follow,"00:27:47
and begins to step back into this portion.00:27:51
MARISHA: Follow?00:27:52
MATT: Just to Caduceus. Seemingly like, protectively.00:27:54
That finished Soorna's turn.00:27:56
Jester, your go.00:27:58
LAURA: Okay.00:27:59
TRAVIS: You got it Jessie, come on!00:28:01
ASHLEY: Jessie!00:28:02
LAURA: I'm going to use...00:28:08
I want to use Command, but I don't think00:28:10
that the jellyfish speaks English, so,00:28:14
I'm going to use Inflict Wounds at 3rd-level00:28:19
with my Pearl of Power,00:28:23
and I'm going to grab ahold of his ankle,00:28:27
and say: I hope this hurts! And cast Inflict Wounds.00:28:32
MATT: All righty, roll for attack.00:28:33
LAURA: Okay.
TRAVIS: Come on, come on.00:28:37
LAURA: Oh! Oh good, that's good! 23.00:28:41
MATT: 23 definitely hits, roll for damage.00:28:42
LAURA: Wait, that was 3rd-level!00:28:44
Okay, wait, hold on, how many points is that?00:28:47
5d10!00:28:51
I just don't, oh come on, motherfucker.00:28:54
SAM: Not terrible, not terrible.00:28:55
LAURA: Nine, 11.00:28:57
13 points.00:28:59
That was pretty shit.00:29:01
SAM: Slightly above average.00:29:02
MATT: What do you want, for, Inflict Wounds, you're doing?00:29:04
LAURA: Yeah.00:29:05
MATT: Inflict Wounds, I believe, is 3d10 damage.00:29:07
LAURA: Oh no! It's 5d10, I was doing 5d6s.00:29:11
Ha ha!00:29:15
That's better. 19, 21, 22, no.00:29:19
20, 21, and then two more?00:29:22
21, 29, 31.00:29:27
MATT: 31 points of damage, much better.00:29:30
You reach out and grab the leg of the00:29:34
horribly decomposing giant body.00:29:36
LAURA: That's necrotic damage. Motherfuck!00:29:39
MATT: It still manages to--its flesh00:29:41
tears up like the inside of its musculature00:29:43
and its leg, splits in seven different places00:29:46
and you watch as a black, thick, congealed giant blood00:29:49
bursts out and splatters on the stonework near,00:29:52
on your shield and part of your face,00:29:54
and its leg is now partially ruined.00:29:56
That did a decent chunk.00:29:58
ASHLEY: Yeah!00:29:59
MATT: That's your action.00:30:00
LAURA: Okay.00:30:01
If I move away, he's going to get a swipe out of it,00:30:03
but I'm going to try it. I'm going to run away from him.00:30:06
MATT: All right, where are you running?00:30:07
LAURA: I don't want to be in this room alone with this guy!00:30:09
Are you here still?00:30:10
SAM: I'm here!00:30:11
LAURA: Oh, never mind, I'm going to stay--00:30:12
SAM: No, go, I'm fine.00:30:14
MATT: What are you doing, Jester?00:30:15
LAURA: I'm going to step back towards the well.00:30:18
MATT: Towards the wall this way?00:30:20
LAURA: Towards the well. SAM: Towards the well behind her.00:30:22
MATT: Over here?00:30:23
LAURA: Actually no, I'm going to stay within his range.00:30:24
I'm going to stay within his range and00:30:27
yeah, go right there.00:30:28
SAM: She's going to move everywhere.00:30:29
LAURA: I'm going to move all over.00:30:30
What am I doing? What am I doing?00:30:33
You don't know, you don't know!00:30:35
MATT: Trickster cleric, what you going to do?00:30:37
TRAVIS: That's pretty much like the begging, too.00:30:40
MATT: Caduceus, you're up.00:30:41
TALIESIN: I'm going to yell: Guys, a little help in here!00:30:46
I'm going to back up a little bit behind Fjord,00:30:51
like right behind Fjord.00:30:53
Yeah, like so if something comes down the--00:30:56
like a couple steps forward--so that if something's...00:30:59
MATT: Good?00:31:00
TALIESIN: Yeah, that way if something's00:31:01
shooting down the hall,00:31:02
it's not going to hit at me. Just enough coverage for that,00:31:05
but so I can see everybody,00:31:07
and then I am going to hold my action00:31:11
for Yasha's go.00:31:15
MATT: What are you holding? TALIESIN: I'm holding the vulnerability.00:31:19
MATT: Oh, gotcha, to increase the--00:31:22
That finishes your turn, Caduceus.00:31:25
Caleb, you're up.00:31:27
You see your friends backing out and shouting behind you.00:31:29
LIAM: Hearing mayhem and the last thing Caduceus00:31:31
said was, "Guys, a little help here,"00:31:32
so I'm pulling things out of my pocket00:31:35
and running to see what's going on.00:31:36
Five, ten, 15, 20, 25, holy shit.00:31:40
I pull out a bit of brimstone, tallow,00:31:43
and powdered iron and goo it into a tiny little super ball00:31:46
and spin it into a rasengan giant ball of fire00:31:49
that grows to about five feet wide00:31:51
and with a bit of the English,00:31:53
I spin a Flaming Sphere on a curve,00:31:56
along this way, and hit, level three.00:32:00
TRAVIS: Like the dopest bowler ever.00:32:02
MATT: It curves around, (thudding) arcs over,00:32:07
and dexterity saving throw00:32:08
I believe, right?00:32:10
LIAM: Yeah, that's correct.00:32:11
MATT: That's going to be--00:32:13
LIAM: It's 17 to beat.00:32:15
MATT: That's 18. Natural 16.00:32:16
LIAM: It beats it. It's half of.00:32:18
I'm doing it at 3rd-level, so half of 3d6.00:32:19
MATT: You got it.00:32:22
LIAM: Meh. Nine, so four or five?00:32:25
MATT: There we go.00:32:27
Four points of fire damage.00:32:28
LIAM: But it's just sitting there.00:32:29
MATT: Correct, and you are now concentrating00:32:32
to keep that up. Did you have one previously?00:32:34
LIAM: Oh, a Fire Bolt, which is gone.00:32:36
MATT: Right, all right, so yeah, any of the spells00:32:38
that you were concentrating on are gone. You have that.00:32:41
All righty, so that finishes your go, Caleb.00:32:42
LIAM: Correct.00:32:43
MATT: You still have your action.00:32:44
LIAM: That was the action,00:32:45
that's an action to cast it for the first time.00:32:48
MATT: That's right, the bonus action.00:32:49
LIAM: In the future, when I hurt it a different way,00:32:51
it will be a bonus action.00:32:52
MATT: You are correct.00:32:53
Cool, that finishes your go.00:32:54
Beau and Yasha.00:32:55
MARISHA: I'm going to peek around the corner of00:32:57
where I'm hiding,00:32:59
creep up a little bit and give a scan00:33:01
of this room in front of me,00:33:03
because I darted off and...00:33:06
I'm hearing a little bit of ruckus in the background.00:33:09
SAM: Ah! Save us, don't abandon us!00:33:11
(laughter)00:33:14
SAM: Why would you leave?!00:33:15
MATT: Opening to a chamber here.00:33:18
TRAVIS: Person I can't see!00:33:21
TALIESIN: She is giving off light.00:33:22
MATT: That's right, from the Holy--00:33:24
MARISHA: I've got goggles.00:33:26
MATT: This chamber here, you can see a series of stone beds00:33:30
that are laid out along the walls.00:33:31
MARISHA: Oh, comfy.00:33:32
MATT: You can see looking into this chamber here,00:33:35
at the opening there00:33:36
and it looks like it would be a tight squeeze00:33:38
for a stone giant and it's a somewhat round chamber.00:33:41
There's a little bit of glistening from the interior.00:33:43
You can see elements of the stone nearby reflects00:33:45
a little bit of the light.00:33:46
There's a little bit of moisture00:33:47
to the inside of the chamber.00:33:49
The little bit you can see down here,00:33:50
there's another hallway00:33:51
that also seems to carry another stone bed00:33:53
and that's about as far as you can see00:33:55
at a quick glance, so.00:33:57
TRAVIS: Are they beds or are they tombs?00:34:01
MARISHA: I turn around to Caleb, who I think is behind me,00:34:03
and I go: There--00:34:07
Then I start making my way back.00:34:09
MATT: Okay, so movement is five, ten.00:34:12
TRAVIS: ♪ Making my way back down. ♪00:34:15
ASHLEY: ♪ Making my way back to the big giant. ♪00:34:20
ALL: ♪ "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton ♪00:34:24
ASHLEY: Okay, it's my turn?00:34:27
MARISHA: Can I move any further?00:34:29
MATT: You can bonus action Step of the Wind, if you want.00:34:31
ASHLEY: ♪ He's got a jellyfish. ♪00:34:32
MARISHA: No, I'll just wait.00:34:33
LAURA: ♪ It's undead! ♪00:34:36
MATT: So Yasha, what are you doing?00:34:38
ASHLEY: Now I'm hearing that everybody needs help,00:34:39
I'm like: Ugh, goddamn it.00:34:41
I'm going to run back in towards the--00:34:45
towards the big baddie.00:34:48
Which I think it will get me to him.00:34:49
MATT: 30, 35, 40, gets you right up into,00:34:52
next to the flaming sphere,00:34:53
I'd say probably move a little further away00:34:54
so you're not right next to it.00:34:55
The heat's a bit intense as you walk by00:34:57
and you see the flames there, and you00:34:59
scoot around the edge, blade in the air.00:35:01
ASHLEY: Blade in the air, ready to go, I'm still raging?00:35:03
MATT: You haven't raged yet, since this battle started.00:35:07
ASHLEY: Oh, true. I would like to rage.00:35:09
TRAVIS: Yeah, you would walk into this (excited noises)!00:35:14
MATT: You're ridiculous, Travis.00:35:15
(laughter)00:35:18
ASHLEY: Say it again?00:35:19
TALIESIN: Roll damage for your first and double it.00:35:22
MATT: So all damage, not just the dice.00:35:26
Just roll the dice, add the amount of fire.00:35:29
ASHLEY: Okay.00:35:30
MATT: It would be a 3d6, plus whatever your.00:35:33
ASHLEY: 3d6?00:35:35
I don't roll for attack?00:35:37
MATT: You roll for attack.00:35:39
ASHLEY: 18?00:35:40
MATT: 18? 18 hits.00:35:43
TALIESIN: It just flipped on me.00:35:45
TRAVIS: Cool.00:35:47
MARISHA: "It flipped on me."00:35:48
LIAM: See if it can finish up before the turn comes around.00:35:49
TALIESIN: Oh, I've got my next three turns planned,00:35:52
so I'm fine.00:35:53
ASHLEY: Okay.00:35:54
SAM: Eyy! It's back!00:35:57
ASHLEY: Okay, 15 for the first hit.00:36:00
MATT: 15 damage with the bonus?00:36:02
ASHLEY: What's the bonus again, I'm sorry?00:36:03
MATT: It's 15 and then it's doubled.00:36:05
ASHLEY: It's double that, so a 30.00:36:07
LIAM: She's back, she's back.00:36:09
ASHLEY: Hello!00:36:11
Knock knock, who's there, it's me.00:36:14
Okay, so and then, divine fury.00:36:19
MATT: Yasha, first off...00:36:23
Oh yeah, so divine fury is part of your first strike?00:36:25
ASHLEY: Divine fury is an extra eight.00:36:31
Yes.00:36:32
Is 1d6 and then plus four, plus half your level.00:36:37
MATT: Right.00:36:39
ASHLEY: I got something right!00:36:41
TALIESIN: Is that part of the first strike, too?00:36:42
MATT: It's part of the first strike.00:36:43
TALIESIN: So that is also doubled.00:36:45
MATT: How do you want to do this?00:36:46
(yelling)00:36:48
TRAVIS: Fuck yes!00:36:49
ASHLEY: Okay, I'm going to look back at Soorna00:36:53
and I'm going to say: I'm sorry.00:36:55
I'm going to take the Magician's Judge--00:36:59
(slurred) Magician's Judge--00:37:02
and plunge it straight into the chest.00:37:04
Slowly and try to find the jellyfish as well.00:37:07
MATT: You plunge the blade up into its abdomen/torso area.00:37:13
You find the spinal cord, and as you put through,00:37:15
you twist it and the elements of the bone structure00:37:18
and anything that's holding its torso up00:37:20
(cracking) twists and folds forward.00:37:23
The whole corpse tumbles into a folded sandwich00:37:27
as it falls to the ground,00:37:29
leaving behind this mysterious jellyfish entity.00:37:35
SAM: Is that thing still alive?00:37:36
MATT: It slips out of its body00:37:38
and you see it floating spectrally in the air.00:37:41
It's technically your second attack,00:37:44
if you wanted to take it,00:37:45
would be in the same place.00:37:47
ASHLEY: Yep. I'll take a second attack.00:37:49
Okay.00:37:52
It's cocked.00:37:55
It's cocked.00:37:59
15?00:38:00
MATT: 15 does hit.00:38:02
TRAVIS: Oh! Go on, now.00:38:04
SAM: Double kill.00:38:05
ASHLEY: Here we go.00:38:07
TRAVIS: Double prizes.00:38:09
ASHLEY: Seven...00:38:13
I actually didn't add enough that last round,00:38:16
but that's fine.00:38:17
MATT: It didn't matter, you killed it.00:38:21
TALIESIN: Paste.00:38:24
ASHLEY: 14.00:38:25
MATT: 14.00:38:27
LAURA: Is that still doubled?00:38:28
TALIESIN: No.00:38:30
First hit only.00:38:33
MATT: So Yasha--00:38:34
SAM: How do you want to--00:38:35
MATT: No. As it withdraws from the corpse,00:38:39
you pull the blade out and then swing up00:38:41
with the momentum of you drawing it out of its body00:38:43
and it cuts through.00:38:44
It tries to dodge out of the way,00:38:45
and you watch the blade strike00:38:47
and send it spinning for a second.00:38:48
It comes back and rights itself.00:38:50
(growling)00:38:53
ASHLEY: Does it look like it was hurt?00:38:54
MATT: It took a little damage.00:38:55
ASHLEY: Okay.00:38:57
LIAM: Does it have little eye stalks in there?00:38:58
TRAVIS: It is not your pet, Jester.00:38:59
It is not a pet.00:39:00
LAURA: I don't like it.00:39:01
MATT: It's almost adorable.00:39:02
TALIESIN: It's a bad jellyfish, bad.00:39:04
MATT: Now I believe that finishes your turn, though, right?00:39:06
ASHLEY: Yes, it does. I'll stay there.00:39:08
MATT: All right, Fjord, you're up.00:39:11
TRAVIS: Can I see the jellyfish pop out of the carcass00:39:13
that Yasha just carved?00:39:15
I'll send two swaths of Eldritch Blast at it.00:39:21
MATT: Get your Eldritch Blast.00:39:23
TRAVIS: Eldritch Blast!00:39:25
That's a natural one.00:39:27
(groaning)00:39:28
MATT: The first one you (groaning)00:39:30
and it hits the wall next to you,00:39:31
spraying you with--00:39:33
TALIESIN: That's tough.00:39:35
TRAVIS: I got the call out wrong.00:39:37
Eldritch Blast!00:39:39
19!00:39:40
MATT: 19 hits!00:39:41
(cheering)00:39:43
TRAVIS: 1d10 plus five.00:39:46
12 points of Eldritch Blast damage.00:39:50
MATT: Nice.00:39:51
(explosion)00:39:52
The eldritch force blasts into it,00:39:54
knocking it back about two feet,00:39:56
it's still floating in the air.00:39:57
It's looking hurt.00:39:58
TRAVIS: Okay, nice.00:39:59
MATT: That finish your turn?00:40:00
TRAVIS: For my movement, I will go up and join Beau,00:40:04
I'm pretty sure they can handle00:40:05
whatever's going on in that room.00:40:07
MATT: You got it. That finishes your turn.00:40:10
TRAVIS: Yeah.00:40:11
MATT: It is now the jellyfish's turn.00:40:12
The jellyfish, looking somewhat damaged,00:40:14
in the vicinity of Yasha,00:40:15
sits there and begins to pulse and glow.00:40:20
TRAVIS: What? MATT: Next to it,00:40:22
this strange little purple doorway opens up00:40:25
and it jumps into and closes and it vanishes.00:40:29
LAURA: It Dimension Doored?00:40:31
MATT: It Dimension Doored.00:40:32
ASHLEY: Do I get an attack of opportunity?00:40:33
MATT: No, because it didn't move or leave your range.00:40:36
It teleported, technically.00:40:39
ASHLEY: Damn it!00:40:40
MARISHA: Why does everything escape from us?00:40:42
LAURA: Wait! If it Dimension Doored,00:40:43
that means it's going somewhere else within 500 feet!00:40:47
TRAVIS: 500 feet?00:40:48
LIAM: Magic door.00:40:49
LAURAL Yeah, that's what Dimension Door is.00:40:51
LIAM: That's (whooshing), I thought.00:40:53
MATT: It was a descriptor of Dimension Door.00:40:55
TALIESIN: Everyone got flavor.00:40:57
MATT: There's a moment, the ball of fire's crackling there,00:41:01
everyone's, (panting).00:41:03
TALIESIN: It's not gone.00:41:05
MARISHA: What's happening?00:41:06
What was it?00:41:07
TALIESIN: It's going to be coming forth with something else.00:41:11
I'm going to just--00:41:15
I'm just keeping my eyes bloody open.00:41:17
MARISHA: Caduceus.
TALIESIN: Yeah?00:41:21
MARISHA: I think there's sarcophagus, over here.00:41:24
TALIESIN: Why would there be coffins in here?00:41:27
MARISHA: I don't know.00:41:28
They're either beds or really big coffins.00:41:30
TALIESIN: Would make more sense00:41:31
if they were beds in here, right?00:41:32
LAURA: This is where stone giants lived, after all.00:41:34
TRAVIS: Made out of stone?00:41:36
LIAM: DM, I know that I can make00:41:38
the flaming sphere jump things,00:41:39
so can I make it spin and spiral down this tube of bones00:41:43
and burn up all the bones that are in there?00:41:45
MATT: It can--I mean, bones don't--it would take a while--00:41:51
LIAM: That's fine, I'm going to set whatever I can on fire00:41:53
because I'm a fire bug.00:41:55
MATT: Okay.00:41:56
LAURA: Oh, I'm going to go watch him--00:41:58
TALIESIN: Since nothing seems to be happening,00:42:00
I'm going to turn my way,00:42:05
and like look around the corner,00:42:07
I'm going to cast Daylight right at the entrance of this00:42:09
fucking, light this room up right here.00:42:11
MATT: Okay. As you're walking over.00:42:13
TALIESIN: I'm like, five feet.00:42:15
MATT: Five feet and you cast Daylight?00:42:16
TALIESIN: Yeah (explosions), 60 feet away.00:42:18
MATT: 60 feet away, into this area?00:42:19
TALIESIN: Yep.00:42:20
MATT: All right, yeah. You open up another chamber00:42:24
with a series of stone beds that are--00:42:29
SAM: Sarcophagi.00:42:30
MATT: You can see another chamber with a pool of water.00:42:34
SAM: Indoor pool!00:42:35
MATT: And a wide staircase that ascends--00:42:37
TRAVIS: To nowhere?00:42:39
MARISHA: It goes to the diving board.00:42:41
ASHLEY: Yeah, go to it and jump off.00:42:44
MATT: That's all lit up for you.00:42:46
You are sending the flaming sphere down, it jumps,00:42:48
(crackling) it begins to burn through--00:42:51
LIAM: 45 seconds max, then it's gone.00:42:53
MATT: Right. Gotcha.00:42:56
Okay, well it goes for about ten seconds00:42:58
before you start hearing (snarling)00:43:01
down in the inside of the bones.00:43:04
Do you keep burning?00:43:05
LIAM: Absolutely.00:43:06
LAURA: Wait, what is it?00:43:07
Can you hear me?
SAM: Hello!00:43:09
TRAVIS: Those aren't prisoners that we're killing right?00:43:11
MATT: Roll damage for the flaming sphere.00:43:13
TALIESIN: We don't know.00:43:14
ASHLEY: It might be those weird cockroach things.00:43:17
LIAM: 12. It would be a dex save for whatever's in there.00:43:20
MATT: Yes, it rolled a two.00:43:21
You watch as a tiny, filthy,00:43:27
scared, filth-covered goblin00:43:32
that appeared to have been living inside00:43:33
this bone pit, is trying to scramble out00:43:36
before it incinerates and burns to death.00:43:39
LIAM: As soon as I see it, I drop the spell.00:43:41
MATT: It did enough damage in the first round.00:43:42
It's a goblin, I'm sorry.00:43:44
It immediately incinerates.00:43:46
(groaning)00:43:48
TALIESIN: That'll happen.00:43:50
MATT: It's smoldering amongst the rest of the bones.00:43:54
TALIESIN: Sometimes a bird flies in your windshield.00:43:56
It sucks.00:43:58
TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Sometimes you're the windshield.00:44:01
(paper tearing)00:44:02
(screaming)00:44:03
TRAVIS: No fucking way! It can't happen twice!00:44:07
SAM: Is it dead, dead, we can't revive it?00:44:08
MATT: No, that shit's dead.00:44:10
ASHLEY: Wait, we can't talk to it?00:44:11
MATT: It had eight hit points.00:44:12
LAURA: No, Caleb killed it!00:44:13
ASHLEY: No, that's really dead?00:44:15
TRAVIS: Was that a real sheet tear?00:44:17
TALIESIN: We'd have to figure out what parts are it,00:44:19
because there's so many different parts in there.00:44:21
That's a cornucopia of lost dreams.00:44:24
TRAVIS: Can't one of y'all, like, la la?00:44:27
TALIESIN: There are like, 50 dead things in there,00:44:28
we'd have to figure out what parts are the right parts00:44:30
and the right parts that actually can make mouth noises.00:44:33
MATT: The top layer, because it's dense bones,00:44:36
there's different sizes of bones, it's a bone pit,00:44:38
and you get the sense of this chamber looking at the tables,00:44:40
that that pit, that was probably where00:44:43
whatever the giants ate that had a skeleton and anything,00:44:46
any remnants and garbage, it got thrown into this pit,00:44:48
so it is this awful rot pit.00:44:51
Whatever was not devoured,00:44:53
it was left over from the meals of these giants over time.00:44:55
LIAM: Oh you guys, I think I just killed a goblin.00:44:59
ASHLEY: I saw him, Caleb, I saw it.00:45:01
SAM: There's so many conflicting emotions right now.00:45:04
ASHLEY: It was probably going to try to kill us.00:45:06
LIAM: I was looking for--00:45:08
LAURA: He looked pretty scared.00:45:09
MARISHA: Wait, Caduceus, what happened?00:45:11
TALIESIN: Oh, may have accidentally burned a goblin to--00:45:15
SAM: Maybe in general, Caleb, don't burn things on fire00:45:20
that you don't know what they are.00:45:23
LIAM: Well we just got attacked00:45:24
by a bunch of terrible stuff in here.00:45:25
SAM: Also, it was a goblin,00:45:27
it was probably a nasty little creature.00:45:30
LAURA: Some goblins are not.00:45:31
TALIESIN: Let's continue down this path, here.00:45:34
MATT: Make a perception check, Caleb.00:45:35
(laughter)00:45:37
TALIESIN: Don't want to get stuck in this.00:45:39
LIAM: That is a one.00:45:40
MATT: Okay. Cool. What are you guys doing?00:45:43
TALIESIN: I'm going to try and bring,00:45:45
also what is that weird ass statue?00:45:48
TRAVIS: Can I lean back to Landspeaker Soorna and say:00:45:53
Assuming we're safe to move forward, can you, (groaning)00:45:57
inform what lies ahead in terms of space and stuff?00:46:02
LAURA: Fjord, are you okay?00:46:03
TRAVIS: Yeah, I just feel, you know, half.00:46:07
MATT: Soorna looks down at you and goes, "Small orc man,00:46:10
"this room above is where we keep the well water00:46:15
"and above that is the seeing chamber."00:46:19
TRAVIS: The seeing chamber?00:46:21
MATT: "For where I do my meditation."00:46:24
Which is translating through you,00:46:25
since you're the only one who speaks Giant.00:46:26
TALIESIN: Yeah, no. Meditation room.00:46:30
MARISHA: I want to move down and start scouting.00:46:31
TRAVIS: She called me small?00:46:34
TALIESIN: It's all relative, man.00:46:36
What is that weird statue right there, out of curiosity?00:46:40
MATT: Okay, you walk into the chamber where it was before.00:46:42
There's the still the skeletal body of the torn apart giant,00:46:45
mostly picked clean of all flesh.00:46:47
Inside this room, you can see a number00:46:49
of large-sized stone cutting tools.00:46:52
There is a table and partially finished sculptures,00:46:56
a few pretty near finished, decent art pieces,00:47:00
that are like sculptures of creatures or arms or forms,00:47:06
that statue that you see on the side there00:47:08
appears to be...00:47:12
a very thick stone giant00:47:14
that is holding a sphere in its hand.00:47:17
It's simple, but well made.00:47:20
TALIESIN: It's not giving me any kind of vibe, I don't know?00:47:24
MATT: Make a religion check.00:47:26
TRAVIS: Getting turned on?00:47:28
TALIESIN: God above. Six.00:47:32
MATT: Nothing particular, unfortunately.00:47:33
TALIESIN: It's all one material,00:47:34
it's not mixed media or anything?00:47:35
MATT: Correct.00:47:37
TALIESIN: The orb's just an orb of the same stone?00:47:39
MATT: Yeah. From the best you can tell,00:47:41
it's whatever stone it was carved from--00:47:43
TALIESIN: All right, let's head forward,00:47:46
we got to keep moving on this thing.00:47:48
MARISHA: Yeah, while this thing was happening,00:47:50
I, Beau, kind of snuck off.00:47:52
I lean over to Fjord, I'm like: I'm going to go.00:47:54
And then I go.00:47:56
TRAVIS: Reconnoiter.00:47:57
TALIESIN: Let's move everybody through this.00:47:59
LAURA: Well, hold on.00:48:01
LIAM: I have a question, too.00:48:02
It's probably just flavor at this point,00:48:04
but having just killed a humanoid with fire?00:48:06
MATT: Yes, make a wisdom save.00:48:09
MARISHA: I'm going.00:48:12
LIAM: Oh, that's very high.00:48:15
Probably good, that is a 20.00:48:17
MATT: Yeah, you're fine. It's a goblin.00:48:20
LIAM and SAM: Hmm.00:48:25
TALIESIN: So yeah. MATT: I know. You guys begin to move slowly forward?00:48:28
TRAVIS: Beau does.00:48:29
MARISHA: I want to scout ahead first,00:48:31
while that conversation was happening.00:48:33
MATT: Okay. The rest of you doing anything?00:48:35
TALIESIN: I'm heading in that direction as well.00:48:38
MATT: Okay, we'll put you guys moving over in this--00:48:40
TALIESIN: I want to hang around the door over there.00:48:47
LIAM: Caleb grabs Nott by the hand and walks out--00:48:51
SAM: No! Are you going to burn me, too?00:48:55
TRAVIS: Jester, did you get smacked up?00:48:56
LAURA: Just a little bit.00:49:01
MARISHA: I'm going to very stealthily00:49:03
peek around that corner.00:49:04
SAM: You're not great about--00:49:05
MATT: Make a perception check.00:49:06
SAM: --killing innocent things with your fire.00:49:08
MARISHA: Stealthily.00:49:09
SAM: I hate goblins, but I'm starting to like them.00:49:12
MARISHA: 13.00:49:13
MATT: 13?00:49:14
Okay, you see four to five00:49:19
of these stone slabs that have layers on top of it00:49:23
of stitched together leather and wool00:49:27
and dirty materials00:49:29
that basically are set up to be bedding.00:49:32
Do you?00:49:34
That's all you've seen, there's no other creatures00:49:36
that you can make out in the interior.00:49:39
MARISHA: Okay. Nothing on this side?00:49:42
MATT: You come over to this side.00:49:43
Looks like more of the same.00:49:44
MARISHA: More of the same? I peek into the room.00:49:46
MATT: Okay. You can see there's the well water below.00:49:52
The smell of it here is still hard water,00:49:58
you don't know if this is fed by rain run off after a storm00:50:01
or if they actually bring the water here00:50:03
or if there is a still water source00:50:05
that fills from underneath.00:50:06
You don't see any openings in the vicinity00:50:09
that seems to feed this water, but it is a well.00:50:11
It is a source of water, you're assuming fresh.00:50:15
There is the staircase that leads upward00:50:18
and the rest of the chamber seems relatively nondescript.00:50:22
LAURA: I did a Cure Wounds on myself.00:50:23
MATT: Okay.00:50:24
Soorna actually looks around and says,00:50:27
"Is anyone hurting bad?"00:50:29
Which you.00:50:30
TALIESIN: I got a little bit, we have a couple people00:50:32
that could use a little--00:50:33
ASHLEY: I think he can needs to be--00:50:35
LAURA: I could use some healing.00:50:36
MARISHA: I could use some.00:50:38
TALIESIN: He needs greater though, so.00:50:39
MATT: Soorna walks up and reaches out00:50:41
and that large giant hand of hers reaches out00:50:43
and wraps around your shoulders and palms you00:50:47
like a Harlem Globetrotter palms a basketball.00:50:51
Does cast Cure Wounds at 2nd-level.00:50:53
TRAVIS: Sports ref.00:50:55
MATT: I do know those occasionally.00:50:56
TRAVIS: I approve.00:50:59
MATT: That would be 12 hit points you heal.00:51:03
LAURA: Oh, wow, thank you.00:51:07
MATT: Just going to cast another 2nd-level one--00:51:10
TALIESIN: Nott could probably use some.00:51:12
TRAVIS: We're just moving on, yeah?00:51:13
We're not taking a moment to breathe?00:51:15
MATT: 14 hit points.00:51:16
TALIESIN: We lose your power, we lose your fists,00:51:19
if we take a moment to breathe.00:51:22
ASHLEY: Fjord, how are you doing?00:51:24
TRAVIS: Huh? ASHLEY: How are you doing?00:51:26
TRAVIS: I still feel half of my normal self, but--00:51:30
LAURA: We need something better00:51:32
than just a Cure Wounds for you, though.00:51:33
TRAVIS: Damn thing fucked me up.00:51:36
TALIESIN: It's going to take a night's sleep.00:51:38
TRAVIS: Shook me real good, rattled my cage.00:51:40
SAM: Just hang back for the rest of this.00:51:42
TALIESIN: Hang near me.00:51:43
SAM: Hang back.00:51:45
TALIESIN: Stick near me, you'll be fine.00:51:47
TRAVIS: All right.00:51:48
I got all the icicles on me.00:51:51
LIAM: I also walk over to Fjord,00:51:53
place my hand on his shoulder,00:51:55
and I cast, oh I grab the leather around my thigh00:52:00
and tug on it and mutter a few words00:52:02
and add Mage Armor to Fjord's AC,00:52:05
so you have two more added on to your AC, Fjord.00:52:08
ASHLEY and LAURA: Ooh!00:52:10
LIAM: Oh no, it becomes 13 plus his dex modifier.00:52:13
MATT: Correct.00:52:14
TRAVIS: My dex or your dex?00:52:15
LIAM: Your dex.00:52:16
TRAVIS: My dex mod is a big fat zero.00:52:19
LIAM: Oh boy.00:52:20
MATT: Mage Armor does not help Fjord.00:52:23
LIAM: Waste of a slot. Sorry, big guy.00:52:27
MATT: Also, your fingers go a little numb,00:52:28
as touching the side of Fjord, the frost armor00:52:31
that's currently encased around his chest and torso area00:52:34
causes your fingers to stick for a second,00:52:35
you have to pull them back.00:52:37
TRAVIS: Oh, sorry about that!00:52:38
LIAM: No good deed.00:52:41
TALIESIN: I'd like to move forward and inspect this room00:52:43
and give it a good,00:52:44
if everyone else would like to come along as well.00:52:46
ASHLEY: Yes, let's move forward.00:52:48
TALIESIN: Yeah, I think we are going to be going upstairs.00:52:50
MARISHA: Yeah, since I was first in the room,00:52:52
I'll start peeking up around the stairs.00:52:54
LAURA: Can I look in the water?00:52:55
MATT: Sure, make a perception check.00:52:58
TALIESIN: I would also like to look in the water.00:53:00
LAURA: Ooh!00:53:03
24.00:53:04
MATT: Okay, Caduceus?00:53:10
TALIESIN: I was going to look, too, yeah.00:53:12
I like to roll, so good.00:53:14
That's--yeah, 26.00:53:16
MATT: Okay.00:53:18
Glancing down in the pool,00:53:22
it's not the cleanest water necessarily,00:53:25
there's a couple odd elements of00:53:29
errant organic material00:53:33
floating at the edges00:53:34
that have congealed on the outside.00:53:37
TALIESIN: There's no movement?00:53:39
MATT: There's no movement. You do see,00:53:43
sunken down about 20 or so feet, probably,00:53:47
what was once a, or might've been a bloated giant corpse00:53:52
that has drowned and sunk to the bottom.00:53:55
SAM: Gross.00:53:57
MATT: That's probably where the material is drifting up.00:53:59
LAURA: Ew.00:54:01
TALIESIN: I would say let's start heading upstairs,00:54:03
and I'm going to Sacred Flame the living hell out of00:54:05
that thing at the bottom of the water on the way up,00:54:07
just to desecrate whatever remains happen to be in that tub.00:54:12
LIAM: Any goblins in them?00:54:15
MATT: You do attempt Sacred Flame a couple times,00:54:17
the nature of this being a tub of water,00:54:19
the flames don't really burst.00:54:21
It's doing a little bit, but it's (hissing).00:54:25
TALIESIN: Can I, if I attempt, no I need to touch,00:54:27
I won't be able to do any of my other stuff.00:54:30
ASHLEY: How far down is it?00:54:31
MATT: About 20 feet.00:54:32
TALIESIN: That's far down.00:54:33
MATT: That's the top of it, which means its body00:54:35
probably goes down another 15 or so feet.00:54:37
LAURA: I can try to Toll the Dead at it,00:54:38
but I don't think it does anything.00:54:41
SAM: It's dead!00:54:42
LAURA: It's necrotic damage.00:54:44
TALIESIN: Yeah, no, that doesn't really.00:54:45
Yeah, I don't have any of my purified water00:54:47
or anything fun to improve the water right now.00:54:50
Eh. Wrong toolkit.00:54:52
MARISHA: I continue to lead the search party up the stairs.00:54:55
TRAVIS: Nothing to check in the room, right,00:54:56
no chests, no windows?00:54:58
TALIESIN: There's nothing weird. We don't get a sense00:55:01
that there's anything weird in the room00:55:02
while we're in there?00:55:03
MATT: Glancing around, no, it's pretty simple.00:55:06
If you wanted to make an investigation check.00:55:09
TRAVIS: Just to see if there was any sort of iconography.00:55:11
TALIESIN: Since you're the back of the line, anyway.00:55:14
TRAVIS: Fuck, that's a one.00:55:16
TALIESIN: Oof, rough--00:55:17
LAURA: Is that the same one that rolled a one earlier?00:55:19
TRAVIS: No, it's a different one.00:55:22
MATT: So Fjord does an extensive pass around the room00:55:26
and runs his fingers along the wall00:55:27
and then turns around and00:55:28
it's fine.00:55:30
TRAVIS: It's fine.00:55:31
LAURA: You know what I could really use right now?00:55:33
SAM: What?00:55:34
LAURA: A doughnut.00:55:36
SAM: I have a really stale, like, scone.00:55:40
A really stale scone.00:55:42
LAURA: I don't want that.00:55:43
SAM: Okay.00:55:44
LAURA: I want a doughnut in real life though.00:55:46
SAM: Oh, you, Laura Bailey, want a doughnut?00:55:49
LAURA: Yeah, I want a doughnut, y'all.00:55:52
ASHLEY: Should we order some Krispy Kremes or something?00:55:54
TRAVIS: Can that happen?00:55:56
MATT: and TALIESIN: Anyway.00:55:57
LIAM: I apparate Frumpkin--00:55:58
MARISHA: Can you Postmates Krispy Kreme?00:56:02
LIAM: Tell him to stick by Beau's side00:56:04
and I'm going to stop seeing00:56:05
and hold onto Fjord's shoulder and follow by touch,00:56:08
and Frumpkin is going to sidekick Beauregard.00:56:11
MATT: Okay.00:56:12
SAM: I mean, I wouldn't say no to a chocolate if--00:56:16
ASHLEY: I wouldn't, either.00:56:17
MATT: Who's going up the stairs first?00:56:19
What's the marching order here?00:56:21
TALIESIN: Beau in front.00:56:23
SAM: Want me to come with and check for stuff?00:56:25
ASHLEY: I'll go after Beau.
TALIESIN: I'll go after Yasha.00:56:27
MATT: It is a wide staircase, you can go two at a time,00:56:29
if you want to.00:56:31
ASHLEY: I'll go beside Beau.00:56:32
MATT: We have Yasha and Beau up front.00:56:34
MARISHA: Sentinel bitches.00:56:35
LAURA: I'll go next to Caleb, I mean Caduceus.00:56:38
LIAM: Caleb and Fjord should go together.00:56:40
LAURA: But I like you.00:56:42
TALIESIN: I like you, too.00:56:43
MATT: All right, is it Caleb and Nott next?00:56:45
LIAM: Caleb and Fjord, because I'm holding onto--00:56:47
TALIESIN: Yeah, that's right.00:56:49
MATT: Nott is holding up the rear.00:56:51
Then Soorna following from behind.00:56:54
LAURA: Okay, Nott can switch with me.00:56:57
Nott was supposed to be at the front!00:56:58
SAM: I kept getting bumped back.00:57:00
TALIESIN: Matt's going to get us Krispy Kreme.00:57:02
Everything's going to be okay.00:57:03
SAM: Oh, Matt's gone, am I supposed to do an advertisement for something?00:57:06
D&D Beyond is the service that we use00:57:08
to track our stats, treasure, equipment, gear.00:57:11
It's really been phenomenal this whole campaign00:57:14
and also, they let me do shit.00:57:18
Oh my god.00:57:20
MARISHA: Right on top!00:57:21
MATT: Heading up, there is another enclosed space00:57:24
as you head up the spiral staircase,00:57:27
emerging from the top view, here.00:57:33
LAURA: Matt, I should switch with Nott,00:57:34
because Sam kept saying he wanted to be at the front--00:57:36
SAM: No, you're fine.00:57:37
That was to check for stuff and nobody checked,00:57:40
so we're fine. MATT: Yeah, nobody's checked.00:57:42
And Soorna is in the back,00:57:44
we'll say Soorna is over there.00:57:45
TALIESIN: I feel like we would've known.00:57:46
This is somebody's house; what's the weirdest?00:57:50
MATT: You guys step up into this next chamber.00:57:54
It's a cold temperature.00:57:56
This rounded room stands about 25 feet the top,00:58:01
and it's interesting, the edges,00:58:03
there are no corners where it meets ceiling,00:58:05
it stands up and then curves.00:58:07
It's not domed, but there are no hard corners to this chamber.00:58:10
It's cause most of its been hand carved out00:58:12
or shaped from the stone of the interior of the mountain00:58:15
that this whole fortress is built into.00:58:18
That hard water smell seems to have also drifted up00:58:21
and filled into this chamber,00:58:22
but there's also hints of burned incense and herbs,00:58:26
though you don't see anything around but small bits of ash.00:58:29
You can see there are elements of00:58:31
what might have been rituals or worship in here of some kind00:58:35
that cling to the edges of the room itself.00:58:39
The walls do have a number of simple00:58:42
and elegant paintings on them.00:58:44
Simple coloration.00:58:45
You can see like wind sweeps and mountain ranges00:58:49
and you can see tiers upon tiers of clouds,00:58:52
above mountains, above land, below.00:58:57
Elements, it's this simple00:58:59
but beautiful interpretation of the world00:59:05
or the elements and all the things that make up the world,00:59:08
that's the best way you can interpret it at a glance.00:59:12
You see winds blowing over mountains and trees,00:59:15
seas and stars, that are above. The roof seems to00:59:19
have simple constellations placed out.00:59:25
You do see in the center, there is a raised platform,00:59:28
and a piece of thick leather00:59:31
that may have been folded or placed up there00:59:33
as part of a ceremonial sitting or meditation space,00:59:36
but it's been moved and shifted. Across the floor,00:59:39
there are masses of blood splattered across00:59:43
that have dried that aren't recent,00:59:46
you don't see that slick of recently spilled blood00:59:50
that is dull and dried for the most part.00:59:56
Yeah.00:59:57
SAM: No living creatures in here?01:00:00
MATT: Make a perception check.01:00:01
SAM: Okay, from the back,01:00:03
I'm going to try to look past everybody else. Hey, 18!01:00:07
MATT: 18. Are you guys all moving up in the chamber01:00:09
or are you staying on the stairs?01:00:11
LAURA: I want to stay on the stair.01:00:12
MATT: Okay, we'll move you guys up a bit01:00:14
so at least you all get inside.01:00:15
TALIESIN: I want to spread us out a bit, yeah.01:00:17
MATT: Jester are you staying on the stair?01:00:19
LAURA: Yeah, I'm staying on the stair.01:00:21
LIAM: I'll stay on the stairs,01:00:22
but Frumpkin is still by Beauregard.01:00:23
MATT: Okay.01:00:24
LIAM: Is that some sort of arcane altar in the center?01:00:27
MATT: It looks like a raised platform, where01:00:32
at first, it looks like what would be a ritual01:00:35
or some sort of an event would take place there.01:00:39
Soorna steps up--01:00:40
TALIESIN: Do the blood splatters01:00:42
indicate something ritualistic,01:00:45
or more of just something terrible that happened?01:00:48
MATT: Make a medicine check.01:00:49
TALIESIN: A medicine check?01:00:51
MATT: Or religion, your choice.01:00:53
TALIESIN: 11.01:00:54
MATT: 11, hard to tell.01:00:56
They look scattered, but you don't know if it was01:01:00
part of a ritual, or--make a religion check as well.01:01:04
TALIESIN: A religion check as well?01:01:05
MATT: Yeah.01:01:07
TALIESIN: 13.01:01:08
MATT: 13, yeah, you're not sure.01:01:10
TALIESIN: Soorna, what did you do up here01:01:12
other than meditate?01:01:14
Is this--what is this?01:01:15
MATT: "This is where I meditate. This was not here before.01:01:20
"This was probably one of our brethren falling."01:01:26
TALIESIN: Why up here?01:01:27
MARISHA: Where's his body?01:01:28
MATT: You rolled a what perception--?01:01:30
SAM: 18. MATT: 18.01:01:31
You're glancing around the chamber and looking up01:01:34
and in the apex above where the constellations are,01:01:39
you see a small little jagged line01:01:41
of faint purple-red energy.01:01:45
SAM: It's one of the rifts.01:01:46
One of the rifts is up there.01:01:47
LAURA: Oh my gosh!01:01:48
Wait, do you have to touch--no, you don't have to touch it.01:01:52
MATT: Caduceus, you do hear, as you're talking to Soorna,01:01:55
what sounds like water moving.01:01:58
TALIESIN: I immediately ready a spell.01:02:03
We hear water moving?01:02:04
MATT: You hear water moving.01:02:05
TALIESIN: Coming from downstairs? MATT: It is.01:02:07
TALIESIN: It's coming up the stairs everyone, get ready.01:02:09
LAURA: Can I try to cast Dispel Magic on the rift?01:02:11
MATT: You can.01:02:12
Go ahead and roll a d20.01:02:14
LAURA: Okay.01:02:15
MATT: Add your wisdom modifier.01:02:16
TRAVIS: C'mon, Jess!01:02:17
Because something is coming through.01:02:19
You can see a shape reaching--01:02:20
LAURA: I'm doing it at 4th level.01:02:22
MATT: At 4th level, okay.01:02:24
LIAM: I'm going to release the drift globe01:02:25
and say tawaj and cast Daylight up here.01:02:28
To light the entire room.01:02:30
MATT: Okay.01:02:32
LAURA: My wisdom modifier--13?01:02:36
Wait but, "When you cast a spell01:02:37
"using a spell slot at 4th-level01:02:38
"or higher you automatically end the effects of the spell01:02:40
"on the target if the spell is01:02:42
equal to or less than a level,"01:02:44
MATT: Correct.01:02:45
It's not a spell level, but there is a DC on it.01:02:46
So 13?01:02:47
LAURA: Yeah.01:02:48
MATT: Does not succeed unfortunately.01:02:49
LAURA: Fuck.01:02:50
MATT: You reach up and attempt to release your divine energy01:02:53
to entrap and banish this tear between the realms01:02:57
and it flickers for a second before you see something01:02:59
(explosion) and emerge from it.01:03:03
MARISHA: I have a feeling it's--01:03:04
Yeah.01:03:05
(screaming)01:03:08
TRAVIS: (screaming)01:03:14
LAURA: No!01:03:15
Go away I don't like you!01:03:16
MATT: Everyone roll initiative.01:03:20
LAURA: Dammit, why couldn't I have rolled better?01:03:21
MARISHA: Dammit!01:03:22
ASHLEY: Ooh!01:03:24
TRAVIS: Wow.01:03:25
MARISHA: Why are all of our roles real shit?01:03:27
TRAVIS: Wow.01:03:28
MATT: How you doing buddy?01:03:29
TRAVIS: Second natural one I've rolled.01:03:31
MATT: Dude, dude!01:03:33
Come on, Fjord.01:03:35
TRAVIS: (aggravated breathing)01:03:41
TRAVIS: Something roll higher than a five.01:03:43
There you go, okay, you get to play.01:03:49
MATT: All righty, so, 25 to 20 anybody?01:03:51
LAURA: 20.01:03:52
ASHLEY: 20!01:03:53
SAM: 25.01:03:54
MATT: Damn!01:03:55
SAM: Natural 20.01:03:56
LAURA: Nice!01:03:57
MATT: All right, Nott.01:04:00
Nott, 25. Jester and Yasha, 20?01:04:08
20 to 15.01:04:10
TALIESIN: 18.01:04:13
MATT: All right.01:04:21
All righty.01:04:22
That brings us to 15 to 10.01:04:24
LIAM: 13.01:04:25
MARISHA: 10.01:04:28
MATT: Oh.01:04:29
Ten to five?01:04:32
Fjord, what'd you get?01:04:34
TRAVIS: Natural one, with an initiative bonus of zero!01:04:37
MATT: Yeah, one, all right, there we go.01:04:39
Well, as this chasme (buzzing)01:04:44
emerges from the chamber--01:04:47
and I believe people who have made saves,01:04:49
Jester and Fjord have already been affected by it--01:04:51
TRAVIS: Oh, oh, so I got like an immunity to it?01:04:54
MATT: I'll tell you what happens here in a second,01:04:56
but you have to tell me if it affected you before or not.01:04:59
You made your save last time.01:05:01
LIAM: I believe I made my save, too.01:05:03
ASHLEY: I feel like I made a save.01:05:06
MATT: You made a save.01:05:07
Nott, were you--?01:05:08
SAM: I made a save, I believe I made a save,01:05:11
I didn't fall asleep, so yeah.01:05:12
MATT: Right, so everybody's made a save?01:05:13
MARISHA: We had wisdom bonuses right?01:05:15
Didn't we do a feast?01:05:16
TALIESIN: Yeah, because there was a feast or a--01:05:19
No, it was a Bless.01:05:22
MATT: Good to know,01:05:24
everyone here has been effected by it or made a save.01:05:26
Good to know. Okay, so, Nott, your turn.01:05:29
TRAVIS: What does that mean?01:05:30
MATT: You see it emerge, its long dripping, you know,01:05:33
pointed, saber-like face.01:05:36
Its wings buzzing, the droning filling the chamber01:05:39
with this angry, aggressive, fiendish drone.01:05:43
Technically it is actually about ten feet here01:05:47
since it emerged from the top.01:05:49
LAURA: I'm almost out of spells.01:05:51
MATT: You hear something from downstairs,01:05:52
a bunch of water is displaced and spilling01:05:55
and you hear these wet steps01:05:58
coming up the stairs below you.01:06:00
SAM: Five, ten, 15, 20. Can I move01:06:03
all the way to this pillar?01:06:05
MATT: Yeah.01:06:06
SAM: Or is there anywhere near me that I can hide?01:06:09
MATT: You can probably move behind this pillar.01:06:11
SAM: Okay.01:06:12
I know it's going to watch me do that,01:06:13
but then can I bonus action hide?01:06:15
MATT: Sure, you can try.01:06:18
Getting over the pillar, too, the pillar itself is cracked.01:06:20
It looks like whatever scattered the blood here,01:06:23
this pillar seemed to take a little bit of damage01:06:25
and so you come up to it and it's cracked.01:06:28
You're having to find a space to try01:06:29
and hide your body, but you're a goblin,01:06:31
so you're nice and small.01:06:32
SAM: Okay, so maybe I'll go behind the pillar on one side01:06:36
and peek around the other and fire01:06:38
and see if that's enough to hide.01:06:40
MATT: Roll a stealth check.01:06:41
SAM: Okay.01:06:42
Natural 20, that's two natural 20's in a row.01:06:45
MATT: I'll allow that to be hidden.01:06:47
(laughter)01:06:49
I was like, this is going to be a high DC, but that's--01:06:51
SAM: Yeah, I threw some pebbles the other way01:06:52
to draw its attention.01:06:54
MATT: It was more focused on the cleric01:06:55
that was trying to seal its entry doorway.01:06:58
SAM: Sure. I'll pop around the other side and take a shot.01:07:02
Terrible, terrible.01:07:04
14.01:07:05
MATT: 14 misses.01:07:06
SAM: Damn! All that effort.01:07:08
MATT: You roll with advantage though,01:07:09
because you're not seen.01:07:10
SAM: Oh!01:07:12
That's a 19, plus 10.01:07:13
MATT: See, that hits.01:07:14
SAM: Oh, okay.01:07:15
MATT: Yeah if it doesn't see you,01:07:16
if you're stealthed or hidden--01:07:17
SAM: I get advantage.01:07:18
MATT: That's how you give yourself your sneak attack.01:07:19
SAM: I'm terrible at rogue-ing.01:07:20
MATT: You'll figure out how to play your character01:07:22
eventually in this campaign.01:07:23
(laughter)01:07:24
SAM: Can Liam just play it for me?01:07:26
LIAM: I don't get the rules right either.01:07:28
I mean, I always get the rules right,01:07:30
because I'm Liam O'Brien, vote Liam O'Brien.01:07:32
Vote With Your Johnson.01:07:34
(laughter)01:07:36
SAM: Okay.01:07:37
ASHLEY: Once per day.01:07:43
SAM: Okay, 23 points.01:07:46
MATT: 23 points of damage, nice.01:07:48
LAURA: That's the only option I have.01:07:51
MATT: Does that finish your turn?01:07:52
SAM: That's my turn.01:07:53
MATT: End of your go.01:07:54
Next up in the order is Yasha and Jester.01:08:01
LAURA: Take it down.01:08:02
ASHLEY: Okay.01:08:03
LAURA: I'm going to try to shoot my 5th-level spell,01:08:05
that's all I have left,01:08:06
to try to dispel that fucking rift again,01:08:08
just in case anything else comes out.01:08:10
MATT: Okay, roll another d20.01:08:11
ASHLEY: Come on, baby.01:08:16
LAURA: Natural one.01:08:17
TRAVIS: Fuck!01:08:18
(sighing)01:08:21
LAURA: That rift is staying open, because that's all I got.01:08:23
MATT: It is.01:08:24
SAM: For now.01:08:25
We got this.01:08:27
MATT: As you're trying to focus, your nerves are kicking in01:08:30
and you're so driven on this, but whatever fiendish force01:08:34
is holding this open is a bit stronger01:08:38
and a bit more bent on maintaining its connection01:08:41
to the Prime Material Plane.01:08:43
LAURA: Fuck!01:08:44
SAM: Caduceus, tell the giant about the rift!01:08:49
TALIESIN: I'm definitely going to point out01:08:51
when my turn comes.01:08:54
MATT: The giant can see it.01:08:56
It's about head level with the giant01:08:57
and as it steps up and looks, there's a flash01:08:59
as the demon creature comes out and the droning begins01:09:02
and the giant begins to hold its ears.01:09:05
Anyway, Yasha, your turn.01:09:07
ASHLEY: Yep.01:09:08
MATT: You have movement and bonus still.01:09:10
ASHLEY: I am going to make my way towards01:09:15
Gary Busey Two.01:09:17
(laughter)01:09:18
ALL: (singing) I am Gary Busey!01:09:22
MATT: It is out of your melee range,01:09:23
it is flying ten feet up in the air,01:09:26
so you're not able to quite strike it.01:09:27
If you want to try and leap and make one attack,01:09:30
I'll allow it.01:09:34
ASHLEY: Yeah, why not.01:09:36
MATT: Okay.01:09:37
ASHLEY: Why not.01:09:40
MATT: Are you raging, or--?01:09:41
ASHLEY: Yes, I'm raging, I'm raging, I'm raging.01:09:43
(laughter)01:09:44
MATT: I figured you were.01:09:45
ASHLEY: Yeah yeah yeah, of course, of course I'm raging,01:09:46
I'm so mad.01:09:49
MATT: You run, leap, and you get one attack this turn01:09:52
because you're going to have to01:09:53
try and get up into the area,01:09:54
but you have advantage on your athletics checks.01:09:57
Roll an athletics check with advantage.01:09:59
ASHLEY: Okay, oh that would be athletics?01:10:01
Because I rolled a--01:10:02
MATT: Yes.01:10:05
ASHLEY: 15.01:10:06
MATT: 15, is that with advantage?01:10:08
ASHLEY: Nope.01:10:09
MATT: You have advantage on it if you are--01:10:10
ASHLEY: 15.01:10:11
MATT: Okay, 15, yeah.01:10:12
You manage to arc up just enough,01:10:14
now roll for your attack.01:10:17
ASHLEY: Okay.01:10:18
(dice clacking)01:10:20
MATT: Roll to hit first, though.01:10:21
That was just to see if you could leap.01:10:22
ASHLEY: I'm so sorry!01:10:23
MATT: It's okay, it's a little complicated, it's okay.01:10:25
ASHLEY: Oh! Okay, that will hit.01:10:30
22.01:10:31
MATT: 22, that hits.01:10:32
TALIESIN: It's hard to concentrate.01:10:34
ASHLEY: So that is--01:10:36
TALIESIN: Feel the pressure.01:10:45
ASHLEY: 12 points of damage.01:10:49
(blade whooshing through air)01:10:51
MATT: You arc upward, the very tip of Magician's Judge01:10:53
carves past the hanging abdomen01:10:56
of this chasme demon creature.01:10:58
ASHLEY: Do I get a divine fury?01:11:00
MATT: Yeah, you do.01:11:01
First attack every turn that hits you get to roll01:11:03
the extra damage.01:11:04
ASHLEY: Yes, okay, so that is an extra01:11:05
nine points of damage.01:11:06
MATT: Okay, 21, that's much better.01:11:08
(blade whooshing through the air)01:11:09
You arc and land, blade down in the side,01:11:11
that's going to be the end of your turn though.01:11:12
ASHLEY: Great, that's fine.01:11:14
MATT: Jester, any movement or bonus action?01:11:18
LAURA: I'm going to turn around and look down the stairs01:11:20
and I'm assuming I'll see this other giant coming.01:11:23
MATT: You don't see it yet, but you can hear the wet--01:11:26
TALIESIN: And I made some noise.01:11:27
I said somebody is coming from downstairs.01:11:29
TRAVIS: Is it out of the pool01:11:30
or is it still in the pool, climbing out?01:11:31
MATT: You don't know, you don't see, you're upstairs.01:11:33
LAURA: Oh no, oh no!01:11:35
I'm going to step up off the stairway then,01:11:39
and move over next to the big giant, up here.01:11:43
MATT: There?01:11:44
LAURA: Yeah.01:11:45
MATT: You got it.01:11:46
That's your turn Jester?01:11:47
LAURA: Yeah.01:11:48
MATT: Finishing Jester's turn and Yasha's turn.01:11:50
All right.01:11:53
(wet footsteps)01:11:56
MATT: 35, 40, it gets right up to Caleb01:11:59
in the staircase right there.01:12:01
SAM: Oh, boy. This is pretty cramped up here.01:12:03
(laughter)01:12:05
MATT: As you're seeing this happen up there01:12:07
and you're readying yourself, you hear the heavy thuds,01:12:09
and as Jester darts out of the way,01:12:10
you look down and see this bloated, soaking,01:12:15
just water-logged corpse of a stone giant.01:12:18
Its flesh dripping off its shoulders from where it's01:12:21
just decomposed and begun to slough off of it01:12:24
from the time it spent underwater.01:12:26
And its jaw, once again, tears in the sides,01:12:29
and that terrible grin arcs up01:12:31
to the sides of its skull as it rushes towards you.01:12:33
And it's going to slam you twice, Caleb.01:12:35
LIAM: Okay.01:12:37
MATT: That's going to be 19 to hit?01:12:39
LIAM: Shield, doesn't hit.01:12:40
(thudding)01:12:41
MATT: As a reaction, (thudding)01:12:42
you watch as it deflects this flash of arcane energy01:12:45
and its big piece of stone tool01:12:48
that it was using to slam just arcs off of it.01:12:51
It's going to back hand to try01:12:52
and strike you again in the middle of this way.01:12:53
LIAM: Oh, Shield's still up.01:12:55
MATT: Shield's still up, yeah.01:12:56
22.01:12:57
LIAM: That does hit.01:12:58
MATT: That does hit, okay.01:12:59
The first one you do deflect,01:13:01
the second one it comes back angrily,01:13:02
its eyes are wild and white,01:13:04
you see the the irises have gone clouded over,01:13:07
snow-blind looking. And it's not quite looking at you,01:13:09
it's looking in your general vicinity,01:13:11
the eyes pointing in different directions01:13:13
as it arcs back (thudding) and strikes you a second time,01:13:16
this time actually making its way through,01:13:18
(sing-song) and you suffer--01:13:21
LIAM: Sing it.01:13:24
SAM: Matt, do you think its eyes sort of looked like this?01:13:29
(laughter)01:13:31
MATT: 20 points of bludgeoning damage.01:13:32
(laughter)01:13:33
LIAM: Goddamn you, Sam.01:13:34
LAURA: Did you order donuts, behbeh?01:13:37
TRAVIS: What kind of a husband do you think I am?01:13:39
I ordered like 60.01:13:43
One for every dice in that fucking bag.01:13:46
MATT: All right.01:13:48
LAURA: You think there's only 60 dice?01:13:49
TRAVIS: I know, as soon as I said it.01:13:54
MATT: It does the two strikes and after it finishes,01:13:57
you watch as the center of its chest (wet cracking)01:14:01
cracks open, the ribs, snap open01:14:04
and its organs start pouring out of its chest,01:14:07
splattering into the stone stairs in front of you,01:14:09
bursting and you watch as drowned maggots and elements of--01:14:12
LAURA: Ugh!01:14:13
MATT: Just hitting all over.01:14:15
It's revolting.01:14:18
I need Fjord, Beau, Caleb, Caduceus, and Jester01:14:23
to all make wisdom saving throws, please.01:14:25
MARISHA: Oh, god.01:14:26
LAURA: Oh, lord.01:14:27
TRAVIS: All right, new dice.
All right, new dice.01:14:31
Fuck!01:14:32
TALIESIN: Motherfucker!01:14:33
MARISHA: God dammit!01:14:34
SAM: Oh boy guys, there's a lot of cursing going on.01:14:37
(laughter)01:14:40
MATT: Okay, so, Fjord?01:14:42
TRAVIS: Six.01:14:44
MATT: All right, you are frightened of it.01:14:47
TRAVIS: That's fair.01:14:48
MARISHA: Six.01:14:50
MATT: Beau is frightened.01:14:51
TRAVIS: Please let there be one more, tell me--01:14:53
LIAM: 27.01:14:54
MATT: You've managed to somehow--01:14:55
it got you more than anybody, but you've01:14:57
also seen some horrible shit in your life.01:14:59
You're like, "Eh, that's fine."01:15:00
TALIESIN: 13.01:15:02
MATT: You save. LAURA: 14.01:15:03
MATT: You save.01:15:04
TALIESIN: Holy weapon is concentration,01:15:05
I didn't take any damage.01:15:06
MATT: Correct.01:15:07
TRAVIS: Frightened it means you can't approach it, right?01:15:09
MATT: It means your attacks have disadvantage.01:15:11
TRAVIS: Against it? MATT: Against anything as long as you can see it.01:15:13
TRAVIS: Any other enemy in the room too?01:15:15
MATT: Yeah, as long as you can see it.01:15:16
And, you cannot move closer to it intentionally.01:15:20
MARISHA: Fuck.01:15:21
TALIESIN: Only 'till you save against frightened.01:15:22
MATT: That finishes its turn. Caduceus, you're up.01:15:25
TALIESIN: I'm going to--because I need my reactions,01:15:30
I'm going to cast Channel Divinity on it.01:15:32
The next thing that hits it01:15:33
gets double damage. I don't care what it is.01:15:36
MATT: You got it. TALIESIN: I'm also going to use my bonus to pull out--01:15:39
actually before I do that, I'm going to use my bonus--01:15:43
fuck it, I'll do it at the time--01:15:45
I'm going to put my swarm on01:15:48
that little son of a bitch up there.01:15:49
MATT: Which one, up here?01:15:50
TALIESIN: Yeah.01:15:51
SAM: Who did you Channel Divinity on?01:15:53
TALIESIN: On the big giant.01:15:54
SAM: The big giant.01:15:55
MATT: You Channel Divinity, what's it called?01:15:58
TALIESIN: It's called Path of the Grave.01:16:00
MATT: Path of the Grave towards the giant,01:16:03
and then with your other arm, holding out your staff,01:16:06
your swarm of buzzing beetles (buzzing)01:16:11
gravitating towards the chasme up in the ceiling.01:16:14
You watch as this cloud of black clicking, buzzing,01:16:17
flying insects begins to match the buzzing01:16:19
of the large demon and begins to swarm and surround it.01:16:21
You roll for attack for the beetles.01:16:24
TALIESIN: That attack is so awful.01:16:27
Let's see what happens.01:16:30
Eight to hit?01:16:32
MATT: Eight to hit, unfortunately does not.01:16:34
It's swarming around it.01:16:36
You do start getting the sense that that droning01:16:39
that was effecting you earlier,01:16:42
you've gotten used to it,01:16:43
and for the time being,01:16:44
it's not beginning to penetrate your mind01:16:47
and put you into that lulling sense of sleep01:16:49
that maybe effected you earlier.01:16:52
TALIESIN: Now I'm going to back into that corner over there.01:16:55
MATT: Over there?01:16:56
TALIESIN: Yeah.01:16:57
I'm going to try and use the--yeah. I'm going to try01:17:01
and get a little bit of cover01:17:02
and so I can keep an eye on everything that's happening,01:17:04
so that I can help with things.01:17:06
Yeah, that's an action and a bonus action.01:17:08
TALIESIN: Okay, that finishes your go, Caduceus.01:17:10
(laughter)01:17:12
LAURA: So angry right now.01:17:14
TRAVIS: She did the "bwah!"01:17:16
(laughter)01:17:18
MATT: All right.01:17:19
TRAVIS: Oh, no.01:17:20
When words fail.01:17:21
TALIESIN: I know.01:17:22
MATT: The chasme, it's taking its turn,01:17:24
it's being swarmed by the insects.01:17:27
You've swung and carved it from below,01:17:28
it's like (buzzing), it looks down at you01:17:30
and you see these horrible, bulbous,01:17:32
orange-ish yellow eyes,01:17:34
that have these glittering--01:17:35
what light there is in the daylight01:17:37
that's blasting in the chamber is glittering across them,01:17:39
and give it this weird almost like,01:17:40
internal fire look to it.01:17:43
It looks down at you, this greasy,01:17:44
matting hair almost coming over in the face,01:17:46
its long proboscis, coming to this sharp point,01:17:49
drips a little bit of fluid01:17:51
and it (sharp exhale) lunges towards you01:17:53
to attempt to strike.01:17:54
LAURA: (sighing)01:17:56
ASHLEY: Kick its ass, Yasha!01:17:57
MATT: Oh, that is going to be...01:18:01
23 to hit. Natural 18.01:18:02
ASHLEY: Yes, that hits.01:18:03
MATT: All right.01:18:04
TALIESIN: Oh, yeah. MATT: You do take--01:18:06
LAURA: By just a little bit, though.01:18:09
MATT: Okay.01:18:15
MATT: 17 points of piercing damage, reduced by half,01:18:17
because you're raging.01:18:18
MATT: Okay.01:18:19
SAM: Nice. Tight.01:18:20
MATT: You take eight points of piercing damage. ASHLEY: Kay, kay.01:18:21
Kay kay kay kay.01:18:22
MATT: However, you do take--01:18:31
(dice rolling)01:18:34
(sharp inhale)01:18:36
ASHLEY: Why that face?01:18:37
TRAVIS: What are you rolling? What d number?01:18:39
SAM: 13d2s, it's fine.01:18:41
TRAVIS: Yep. Just coins.01:18:44
MATT: You take 30 points of necrotic damage.01:18:46
ASHLEY: Okay.01:18:47
MATT: And your maximum hit points are reduced by 30.01:18:49
SAM: Woof!01:18:51
TRAVIS: (incredulous laughing)01:18:52
MATT: As its proboscis jams into your sternum area,01:18:55
and narrowly misses your stomach on the inside,01:18:58
you grab it and try--01:19:00
ASHLEY: I'm resistant to necrotic.01:19:02
ASHLEY: You take half of that, so you take 1501:19:04
and your maximum hit points are reduced by 15.01:19:05
(cheering)01:19:07
LAURA: Oh, that's clutch!01:19:08
SAM: Holy shit.01:19:09
MATT: As your fallen essence manages to resist01:19:12
and your strength kicks in01:19:13
and you hold it from piercing further into your body01:19:15
and you just stare it in the face01:19:16
as you withdraw it from your body01:19:18
and throw it up into the air.01:19:20
(buzzing)01:19:21
ASHLEY: Fucking right!01:19:22
TRAVIS: So clutch.01:19:23
MATT: It is going to attempt to fly out of your melee range,01:19:25
you do get an attack of opportunity.01:19:27
MARISHA: Yes!01:19:28
Come on, come on!01:19:33
ASHLEY: Do I have to say reckless before I roll?01:19:34
MATT: Reckless you have to do on your turn.01:19:35
ASHLEY: Gah!01:19:36
Okay, I don't--let's see.01:19:40
12?01:19:41
MATT: 12 misses.01:19:42
ASHLEY: Ah, fuck you!01:19:43
MATT: It dives down to attack you01:19:44
and then pulls out of the way01:19:46
after you angrily withdraw it--01:19:47
ASHLEY: Yeah, you--yeah, you fucking run! You fly!01:19:50
MATT: You swing wide and it ducks out of the way01:19:52
and it's now 20 feet up in the air.01:19:55
ASHLEY: Dammit!01:19:56
MATT: That finishes its turn. All righty.01:19:58
Caleb, you're up.01:19:59
LIAM: Caleb has just been badly bludgeoned01:20:01
and turns back around, blood matting his hair,01:20:04
and (groaning). This isn't what I was planning at all.01:20:06
But pull out the cocoon and start muttering arcane words01:20:10
and I will cast Polymorph on the giant thing attacking me.01:20:14
17 to beat wisdom save.01:20:16
MATT: Wisdom save.01:20:18
Here we go.01:20:19
LIAM: Come on.01:20:21
SAM: It can't be very wise, right?01:20:22
MATT: That is 16.01:20:23
(cheering)01:20:27
LIAM: Giant tortoise.01:20:28
TRAVIS: Yes, yes, thank you!01:20:30
I've been waiting for somebody to do a tortoise.01:20:32
Good job you beautiful wizard bastard!01:20:35
MATT: Giant tortoise.01:20:36
LIAM: He's just bleeding and going (groaning).01:20:38
LAURA: Are you guys still--01:20:39
MARISHA: That was what I was going to say,01:20:40
are we still scared of the turtle?01:20:42
MATT: Um--01:20:43
(laughter)01:20:45
LAURA: You got to strain your neck a little bit more.01:20:49
(laughter)01:20:50
MATT: It's technically--01:20:52
LIAM: Very scary turtle.01:20:54
TRAVIS: You've heard the sound it makes, right?01:20:55
MARISHA: Turtles are so cute!01:20:58
MATT: It's technically a special effect of its ability--01:21:01
I'll say, I'll give you an advantage on your saves01:21:02
to resist it.01:21:03
MARISHA: Okay, because he's a cute turtle now.01:21:06
LIAM: It's really scary, but so cute.01:21:08
MATT: It's not gone, but you do get advantage on the saves,01:21:10
because now it's a turtle.01:21:11
You're still like, I know it's a turtle,01:21:13
but in that turtle's something really fucked up01:21:15
and it's really scaring me.01:21:17
MATT: I don't have a giant turtle mini,01:21:19
so I'll just use this.01:21:20
LIAM: What a failure you are, why are you even here?01:21:23
MATT: You're right, you're right.01:21:24
TRAVIS: A horse?01:21:25
MARISHA: Everything's a horse.01:21:26
LIAM: Caleb is going to attempt,01:21:27
I don't know if the tortoise01:21:28
will get an attack of opportunity,01:21:29
but Caleb is going to drag his--01:21:31
ASHLEY: Oh my god that was so fast!01:21:32
LAURA: (cheering)01:21:33
MARISHA: Fuck yes.01:21:34
SAM: Don't show the logos!01:21:35
LAURA: Just kidding, no logos.01:21:38
SAM: Matt, maybe you heard--01:21:43
Matt, Liam made it a tortoise not a horse.01:21:47
MATT: What's up?01:21:48
SAM: It's supposed to be a tortoise not a horse.01:21:50
LIAM: He knows. SAM: So just make it a tortoise.01:21:53
MATT: Okay, a giant tortoise, you said?01:21:55
(laughter)01:21:56
A giant snapping turtle?01:21:57
LIAM: What the equivalent is yeah, I imagine--01:21:59
TRAVIS: No, not a snapping turtle!01:22:00
LIAM: Giant tortoise is what I said.01:22:02
MATT: Right.01:22:03
The closest thing there is to a giant tortoise--01:22:05
LIAM: He's the DM, let him do what he wants!01:22:07
MARISHA: He grew up in Texas, he knows.01:22:09
LIAM: Sounds right.01:22:11
TRAVIS: Giant snapping turtles have the highest bite ratio--01:22:13
MATT: A giant snapping turtle is the closest I can find01:22:16
to what you requested, which is a giant tortoise.01:22:18
LIAM: Great, I have no problem with that.01:22:19
Unlike Travis, I like all your decisions, Matthew.01:22:22
Would you like a donut?01:22:23
MARISHA: Of course I would like a donut.01:22:24
LIAM: Ooh, smell that sugar.01:22:25
LAURA: Don't show the logo!
Don't show the logo!01:22:27
(laughter)01:22:31
This is a terrible idea. What have you done, Laura?01:22:33
Well for that, the snapping turtle's01:22:34
getting an attack of opportunity.01:22:35
LAURA: No!01:22:36
(laughter)01:22:37
MATT: It rolled a natural 17.01:22:39
LIAM: I'm at 20 right now--01:22:40
MATT: 23 to hit.01:22:41
LIAM: Oh, 23 that hits.01:22:43
LIAM: (high-pitched noise)01:22:46
MARISHA: Fuck. What do I do with this thing?01:22:48
SAM: Did the turtle just whinny?01:22:49
TRAVIS: Throw it on the ground!01:22:51
LIAM: No. (high-pitched noise)01:22:52
SAM: Oh, okay.01:22:54
MATT: You motherfucker.01:22:55
(laughter)01:22:59
MATT: 18 points of bludgeoning damage.01:23:00
SAM: Jeez!01:23:01
LAURA: What?01:23:02
For a turtle?01:23:03
MATT: Giant creatures can still do damage!01:23:06
Not--like, pretty well.01:23:08
LIAM: Good, fine, great done.01:23:10
MARISHA: Wait but you turned it into a turtle01:23:11
and then it attacked you?01:23:12
LIAM: Well I ran away from it,01:23:13
thinking that it would try to gum my ankle,01:23:15
but instead took my foot off.01:23:18
MATT: You said a giant turtle--01:23:19
LIAM: It's fine, I'm not questioning you!01:23:21
MARISHA: Turtles don't fuck around.01:23:22
MATT: I know.01:23:23
TALIESIN: Giant turtle'll fuck you up, man.01:23:25
(laughter)01:23:26
SAM: It's too sweet.01:23:27
LAURA: Fuck you.01:23:28
SAM: I ate the whole thing.01:23:30
MATT: That ends your turn, Caleb?01:23:32
LIAM: It certainly does.01:23:33
MATT: That brings us to Beau.01:23:35
MARISHA: Okay.01:23:36
MATT: You are frightened still.01:23:38
MARISHA: Do I save now or at the end of my turn?01:23:39
MATT: End of your turn.01:23:40
MARISHA: I can't move towards the turtle?01:23:43
MATT: Correct.01:23:44
(laughter)01:23:46
You are unable to move towards the turtle.01:23:48
Dungeons & Dragons.01:23:49
MARISHA: Can I move this way?01:23:51
Does this way count, away from the turtle, or do I have to--01:23:54
MATT: Yeah, you can move at an angle away from the turtle01:23:59
in that direction, but not directly towards the turtle.01:24:01
MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.01:24:02
LIAM: This is very serious.01:24:03
(laughter)01:24:06
LAURA: We all laugh until we all die.01:24:07
TALIESIN: From a turtle.01:24:08
MARISHA: Shit.01:24:09
TRAVIS: One turtle to rule them all.01:24:11
MARISHA: So--01:24:12
TRAVIS: Standing over a mound of corpses.01:24:14
MATT: That guy is, by the way, ten feet off the ground.01:24:17
TRAVIS: 20 feet.01:24:18
MATT: Sorry. Well, he's 20 feet up in the air.01:24:21
He's a large creature that takes a ten-foot space,01:24:24
so he's about ten feet above you.01:24:28
MARISHA: There's no way I can get in my melee range?01:24:30
LAURA: Can you leap off Yasha?01:24:32
MARISHA: Can I leap off of this thing?01:24:34
MATT: Even with that, your best bet is either to parkour01:24:36
off of a pillar or jump.01:24:39
MARISHA: That's fine, yeah.01:24:41
As I run forward, I'm going to loop wide,01:24:45
I'm going to do a cool slide under Yasha's legs01:24:50
and I'm going to tap my knuckles01:24:52
and light up my lightning gloves and as I slide under,01:24:55
I'm going to go: pew pew!01:24:56
MATT: That's right, because you have the lightning gloves,01:24:58
you have the ranged, yeah!01:24:59
LAURA: Are they still holy?01:25:00
No, they're not holy?01:25:01
MARISHA: They're still holy, with the lightning.01:25:03
TALIESIN: I should know,01:25:04
and I will have a sense of when its going to go.01:25:06
It's an hour. I don't think it's been an hour.01:25:08
MATT: It's not been an hour, the effect is still there.01:25:10
TALIESIN: I feel like I would have a sense01:25:12
when it's starting to go, right?01:25:13
MATT: You will, yeah.01:25:14
TALIESIN: Okay, so yeah, because I want to know before--01:25:17
MATT: They're still my unarmed attacks,01:25:18
and they're still with my fists.01:25:21
MATT: They are, it does increase the range of the attack.01:25:23
MARISHA: (reading) "At the start of your turn, you channel01:25:24
"atmospheric electricity through the gloves,01:25:26
"extending your reach."01:25:28
TALIESIN: Yeah, and the spell is crippling me really badly.01:25:31
MATT: Yep, no. So what happens is the essence01:25:34
of the Holy Weapon channels through the bolts as you fire.01:25:37
I'll allow it.01:25:38
MARISHA: Hey, hey, hey!01:25:41
MATT: As you slide through01:25:42
and make your way underneath to that point.01:25:46
Go ahead and make your attacks.01:25:47
They are at disadvantage,01:25:48
because you can still see the giant turtle shell01:25:51
coming up through the stairs.01:25:53
MARISHA: Really?
MATT: Yep.01:25:55
MARISHA: Okay.
SAM: Scary shell.01:25:56
MARISHA: Even though I'm not fighting the turtle?01:25:57
MATT: Yep.01:25:58
MARISHA: Disadvantage?
MATT: Yep.01:26:00
MARISHA: Oh, that was cocked, isn't it?01:26:01
TRAVIS: No.01:26:02
MARISHA: Oh wait, maybe it's not.01:26:06
Cocked.01:26:07
Well, it's the lower one, anyway.01:26:10
25.01:26:11
MATT: 25 hits.01:26:16
The first attack hits.01:26:18
MARISHA: Plus the 2d8.01:26:20
MATT: Correct, so roll the damage dice together01:26:21
and then add your modifier.01:26:23
MARISHA: Ooh!
TRAVIS: Uh-huh!01:26:25
MARISHA: Eight plus seven, 15,01:26:28
plus another six from my modifier, so 21 total.01:26:31
MATT: So 21 the first strike. Go for it.01:26:33
MARISHA: Second strike.01:26:34
MATT: You arc down, (crackling) and punch upward.01:26:37
MARISHA: An 18 and 15 again, so 25 again.01:26:38
MATT: 25 hits.01:26:39
TRAVIS and MARISHA: Ghost puncher.01:26:42
TALIESIN: Puncher of ghosts.01:26:44
MARISHA: 12, another 15 points, plus another six, 21 again!01:26:49
MATT: 21.01:26:50
(thudding)01:26:51
You guys watch as this room is bright with daylight01:26:53
as it filled the chamber, Beau slides underneath01:26:56
and is punching lightning bolts up underneath01:26:59
and they're blasting into the chasme and it's01:27:00
(thudding) trying to escape, but it can't seem to dodge it.01:27:04
That's your attack action?01:27:05
MARISHA: Flurry of Blows?
MATT: Flurry of Blows.01:27:07
ASHLEY: Yasha's jaw is on the floor.01:27:08
MATT: Is there an action required to trigger the ability?01:27:13
MARISHA: (reading) "At the start of your turn."01:27:14
MATT: Start of your turn, yeah, you're good.01:27:15
MARISHA: "You can channel for one minute."01:27:17
MATT: Go for it.01:27:18
MARISHA: What did I roll? A 12 and a three, not good.01:27:23
MATT: Three is?01:27:24
MARISHA: 13.
MATT: 13 misses.01:27:25
MARISHA: Misses? Next one.01:27:27
MATT: You used another ki point for Flurry of Blows,01:27:29
final attack, go for it.01:27:30
ASHLEY: Dang monks.01:27:31
MARISHA: Fuck, natural one.01:27:33
MATT: Natural one.01:27:34
The first two arcs slam into it,01:27:35
but it's starting to get wise from your strikes01:27:36
and the last two follow ups,01:27:38
it manages to (buzzing), and avoid.01:27:41
That finishes your turn, Beau?01:27:42
MARISHA: Yes.01:27:43
MATT: Next up in the round is Fjord.01:27:46
TRAVIS: Me?01:27:47
MATT: Yeah. You're frightened of that turtle.01:27:49
You look over at that stairway01:27:50
and that turtle is there going (jaw clacking).01:27:53
TRAVIS: (fake crying) Eldritch Blast!01:27:57
Two of them towards the--01:28:00
MATT: Chasme, go for it.01:28:01
Disadvantage on the attacks, because you are frightened.01:28:03
MARISHA: Oh, I try to save from it!01:28:04
MATT: That's right, with advantage.01:28:06
MARISHA: What is it, wisdom saving throw?01:28:09
TRAVIS: Son of a bitch.01:28:10
MATT: Is that a natural one?
TRAVIS: It is.01:28:12
LIAM and LAURA: Cocked, ca, ca, ca!01:28:14
MARISHA: Oh, natural 19, 22.01:28:17
MATT: Yeah, you're fine.01:28:18
The first one misses with the natural one,01:28:20
goes wide, and the second strike with disadvantage.01:28:23
TRAVIS: 16.01:28:24
MATT: 16 hits.01:28:25
TRAVIS: All right!01:28:28
Ten plus five, 15 points of Eldritch Blast!01:28:32
MATT: Nice.01:28:34
LAURA: What is that drink that you have there, Fjord?01:28:36
TRAVIS: This is muddy water.01:28:37
LAURA: Can I have some?01:28:38
TRAVIS: Nope.01:28:40
MATT: That blast (splattering) hits the chasme.01:28:42
The chasme's looking pretty tough now, pretty hurt,01:28:47
it's starting to like, (buzzing)01:28:50
and it's starting to turn towards that rift01:28:52
and that finishes your go, Fjord.01:28:58
TRAVIS: Yeah?01:28:59
MATT: Okay, make your wisdom save with advantage01:29:01
to see if you can get rid of the--01:29:02
TRAVIS: With advantage?01:29:03
MATT: Yeah. If you want to move also, you can.01:29:05
It's up to you.01:29:06
MARISHA: (laughing) Everything is blast!01:29:09
TRAVIS: Nah.01:29:13
19.01:29:16
MATT: 19, all right, yes you're done.01:29:17
Technically, Soorna would've gone before you01:29:18
and I forgot to do that, so I'll do her turn next.01:29:22
Fjord no longer frightened.01:29:23
TRAVIS: Pass that over to the--01:29:24
TALIESIN: Oh man, it's just sitting there, too.01:29:26
TRAVIS: --grumpy little tiefling.01:29:27
TALIESIN: Oh, I'm going to remind that the next person01:29:29
who hits the turtle will do double damage01:29:31
so let's make sure that the hit that hits that turtle--01:29:33
LAURA: Yeah, but don't hit the turtle01:29:34
because then it'll unpolymorph.01:29:36
TALIESIN: I know, but like that roll over will be a thing.01:29:40
MATT: Soorna is going to move around here,01:29:44
push against the pillar, the pillar cracks.01:29:49
She takes up her staff01:29:51
and swings upward towards the chasme, two strikes.01:29:54
SAM: Two strikes! That chasme's gone!01:29:56
MATT: First one is 17, that hits.01:29:59
TALIESIN: She's going to kill another one.01:30:00
MATT: Second attack misses, actually.01:30:04
The first attack is going to be...01:30:06
TRAVIS: Raid!01:30:10
MATT: Yeah.01:30:11
(thudding) Just slams into the chasme01:30:13
and it gets thrown against the wall,01:30:15
skids into where the arc is there on the side.01:30:17
She takes her staff and pins it to it and pushes into it01:30:20
and (crunching) pushes it against the wall.01:30:21
(crunching) She shoves and it breaks through its abdomen01:30:25
and it slumps inwards and withdraws it.01:30:28
TALIESIN: She killed another one?
MATT: Yeah, she killed another one01:30:30
TALIESIN: Damn!01:30:31
SAM: Buzz off!01:30:32
TRAVIS: Okay. Calm down.01:30:36
I took two points of psychic damage.01:30:37
MARISHA: Disappointed in yourself.01:30:39
MATT: Top of the round, Nott, you're up.01:30:40
SAM: It's just us and the turtle?01:30:42
MATT: At the moment, yeah.
SAM and LAURA: And the rift.01:30:46
SAM: Ooh, that's rough.01:30:48
Could I climb up to the ceiling on that pillar?01:30:53
MATT: Yeah, make an athletics check.
SAM: Does it go all the way up?01:30:56
MATT: It goes all the way.01:30:57
They're both load bearing in the chamber.01:30:58
SAM: Near the rift-ish?01:31:01
MATT: The rift is right in this vicinity,01:31:02
so you'd be about ten feet away.01:31:05
LAURA: What are you going to do?01:31:07
SAM: I can look in at least?01:31:09
I don't know, we can't close it, right?01:31:10
We got to be ready for it.01:31:13
(sighing)01:31:14
I can't shoot the turtle.01:31:16
Shit, what do we do?01:31:18
We got to get out of this room and seal it up somehow.01:31:20
TALIESIN: We may not be able to close it 'till tomorrow,01:31:23
that just might be a thing.01:31:24
LAURA: Yeah, might have to sit here and wait.01:31:26
MARISHA: Seal it and sleep?01:31:27
TALIESIN: Seal it and sleep might be a way to go.01:31:28
SAM: Ah!01:31:32
Should I kill the turtle?01:31:33
TRAVIS: No!01:31:34
ASHLEY: I only get one per day.01:31:35
LIAM: You've already used it.
ASHLEY: Yep.01:31:37
SAM: Well, we got to kill the turtle at some point.01:31:38
I'm going to hold my action.01:31:40
LIAM: The turtle's a turtle for an hour.01:31:41
SAM: And shoot the turtle when other people attack it.01:31:45
Holding until when other people attack the turtle.01:31:48
MATT: You got it. That finishes your turn, Nott?01:31:49
MARISHA: We're going to have to kill the turtle eventually.01:31:52
LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: Okay.01:31:54
SAM: Oh, before that, bonus action, take a swig of alcohol.01:31:59
MATT: Okay.01:32:01
SAM: Just a nice hefty swig.01:32:03
MATT: You've got it.01:32:04
TRAVIS: Huh.01:32:07
LIAM: Well, it is a turtle right now,01:32:09
but if we could drag it to the center of the room,01:32:11
I could trap it in a ring of fire,01:32:13
drop one spell and throw another one up01:32:15
and then everyone could whale on it.01:32:19
TALIESIN: That seems.01:32:20
I'm keeping an eye on that fucking rift, by the way.01:32:22
MATT: Good. As you do, you watch as a tiny little jellyfish.01:32:26
TALIESIN: Goddamn it.01:32:28
MATT: It's floating up here in the space there.01:32:30
LIAM: (squeaky voice) Hi!01:32:33
You're all going to die!01:32:35
TALIESIN: We've got problems and we have no way01:32:37
of closing this rift right now.01:32:39
SAM: We can seal the whole room.01:32:42
MATT: Next up is Yasha and Jester.01:32:45
ASHLEY: Okay.
SAM: Oh boy.01:32:47
LIAM: (squeaky voice) I hunger!01:32:49
LAURA: I guess I'm going to try to01:32:51
attack the jellyfish then.01:32:55
SAM: We are fucked.01:32:58
ASHLEY: Turtle party kill.01:32:59
(laughter)01:33:01
LIAM: Wow.01:33:02
TALIESIN: I got a weird theory.01:33:04
Would I be under the impression that radiant damage01:33:06
might actually affect the rift?01:33:09
The way it actually damage the rift01:33:10
through sheer magical force?01:33:13
MATT: Make an arcana check.01:33:14
TALIESIN: All right.01:33:15
MARISHA: That was good!01:33:17
TALIESIN: 17. MATT: 17? You're not sure.01:33:20
TALIESIN: Fuck, man.01:33:21
SAM: Does your druidic giant friend01:33:23
have any sort of magic that can?01:33:25
TALIESIN: I got to wait until my turn.01:33:28
LAURA: I'm going to cast Sacred Flame at the jellyfish.01:33:29
MATT: At the jellyfish.01:33:32
Natural 18. What's the DC on that?01:33:35
LAURA: 17.01:33:36
MATT: Yeah, so, it managed to--01:33:38
it does still take half damage I believe, right?01:33:39
LAURA: No.01:33:40
MATT: No, Sacred Flame does not, it's a cantrip.01:33:42
Manages to dodge the impact. Yasha.01:33:45
Do you want to move or stay put?01:33:47
LAURA: I mean, if I move the stupid turtle will attack me.01:33:50
TALIESIN: I don't think you're within.01:33:51
MATT: The turtle technically--01:33:53
LAURA: It's down the stairs?01:33:54
MATT: Actually, no, you would be.01:33:55
It's on the stairs, but it's the step below01:33:57
because it's a large creature.01:33:59
You are within its melee range.01:34:00
TALIESIN: Did it already have reaction though?01:34:02
MATT: It did! It did, yeah.01:34:04
LAURA: Okay, then I am going to back away from the turtle.01:34:06
MATT: Where are you going?01:34:07
LAURA: Against the wall, this way, in the little corner.01:34:10
TALIESIN: Good call.01:34:12
LAURA: Yeah, there.01:34:13
MATT: All righty. Finishes your go, Jester. Yasha.01:34:16
ASHLEY: Okay, well.01:34:19
MATT: I'll just ask you guys to go get the minis01:34:20
whenever you polymorph anything from now on.01:34:23
ASHLEY: Okay, I'm going to attack the jellyfish.01:34:26
MATT: All righty, go for it.01:34:28
It is about 20 feet up in the air.01:34:31
You'll have to make another jump to try and reach it--01:34:35
SAM: Someone give Yasha some goddamn javelins.01:34:37
ASHLEY: Okay, so I rolled a 19.01:34:41
MATT: You do have advantage in this because you're raging,01:34:43
don't forget.01:34:44
ASHLEY: This is for athletics first, okay.01:34:47
ASHLEY: Oh, okay. 22.01:34:51
MATT: 22, all right.01:34:52
You leap, you think you might be able to crest it01:34:55
with one hit so attempt that.01:35:00
ASHLEY: Oh, okay, 22 again.01:35:02
MATT: That hits, roll damage.01:35:04
ASHLEY: Okay.01:35:08
Okay, okay, okay.01:35:11
It's ten...01:35:14
17 points of damage.01:35:16
MATT: 17, nice.01:35:18
(slashing) You carve past it01:35:19
and you see an element of its hanging,01:35:22
semi-translucent, dangling tentacles01:35:27
(slurping) get shaved off01:35:29
and (fizzling) turn into a weird mist and then disappear.01:35:32
It recoils and pulls up that part of its body01:35:34
before it begins to reform them.01:35:36
That finishes your turn?01:35:39
Yeah, you'll still probably be in place to do that.01:35:41
You'll probably have to move up to this platform.01:35:43
ASHLEY: Okay, that's fine, yep.01:35:45
MATT: That finishes Yasha's go. All right.01:35:49
Now the turtle's turn.01:35:50
SAM: Yeah.01:35:51
TRAVIS: Turtle power!01:35:52
(laughter)01:35:54
MATT: The turtle steps up, (thudding) up towards you Fjord.01:35:59
TRAVIS: No. No.01:36:00
MATT: You're the first thing there!01:36:02
TRAVIS: I'm wearing Armor of Agathys.01:36:04
MATT: Oh, shit, that's right!01:36:05
SAM: What does that do?01:36:06
LAURA: It damages the turtle.01:36:08
MARISHA: So be ready.01:36:09
Yeah.01:36:10
MATT: It's going to make an attack against you, Fjord.01:36:13
That is 15 to hit?01:36:15
TRAVIS: Miss.01:36:16
It misses!01:36:17
MATT: Nice!01:36:19
All right, then.01:36:20
TRAVIS: (frantic grunting)01:36:21
(laughter)01:36:22
TRAVIS: Fuck you, turtle!01:36:24
MATT: What's your armor class again?01:36:25
TRAVIS: 17.01:36:26
MATT: That's right because of the breastplate01:36:28
and the shield. That's awesome.01:36:29
Yeah, it goes and tries to snap towards you01:36:31
and you're like, No! (thudding) Reflect it back a bit.01:36:34
It's unhappy.01:36:35
TRAVIS and MARISHA: (imitating turtle)01:36:37
MATT: It's going to use the rest of its movement.01:36:40
to move around to this side.01:36:42
SAM: Clip clop.01:36:44
LAURA: Don't--stop it!01:36:45
Stop being an asshole!01:36:46
(laughter)01:36:47
MATT: All righty.01:36:48
MARISHA: That's a turtle of a different color!01:36:50
LAURA: Stop being an asshole!01:36:53
MATT: The DM will remember this.01:36:56
All righty, so, finishing its turn, Caduceus, you're up.01:37:00
TALIESIN: Bonus action, the insects are going to01:37:02
attack the jellyfish.01:37:04
MATT: Go for it.01:37:05
Roll for attack.01:37:06
TRAVIS: (laughs) The turtle horse and the insects01:37:08
on the jellyfish. Dungeons and dragons.01:37:10
SAM: This is the weirdest fight ever.01:37:12
MATT: It's pretty weird.01:37:13
SAM: Scared of the turtle.01:37:14
TALIESIN: Fucking, I don't even know why I bother. Eight.01:37:16
MATT: Eight, no.01:37:17
TALIESIN: It's like plus three to hit. It ain't never.01:37:25
Just out of idle curiosity,01:37:28
I know I should really deal with this thing01:37:29
because it's about to become a problem.01:37:32
Fuck, man.01:37:33
I'm...01:37:36
...going to fire Sacred Flame at the rift.01:37:41
MATT: At the rift?01:37:42
TALIESIN: Just curious.01:37:43
MATT: Okay.01:37:44
(powerful exhale) You release it.01:37:45
You see a spark of divine energy. It has no effect on it.01:37:48
TALIESIN: God fucking dammit.01:37:50
It was a thought.01:37:51
MATT: It was a thought. LAURA: It was a good idea.01:37:52
MATT: Are you going to stay put or01:37:53
are you going to move around?01:37:54
TALIESIN: Um, I'm...01:37:57
I'm going to...01:37:59
I'm going to stay put for now, yeah.01:38:02
MATT: Okay, that finishes Caduceus's run.01:38:04
No chasme, because it's dead.01:38:06
Caleb, you're up.01:38:07
LIAM: Okay, I'm moving away from the tortoise01:38:08
but keeping an eye on it while I pull an adder's stomach01:38:11
out of my pocket and drag it through the air01:38:14
and a green line burns in the air in front of me01:38:16
and (sizzling) acid arrow hits the jellyfish.01:38:19
MATT: Roll for an attack.01:38:20
LIAM: It is, I think it's a dex.01:38:24
Oh, right, sorry, ranged spell attack.01:38:26
Ooh, that's not so good.01:38:27
That is six plus--it's just an elev--01:38:31
oh no, it's not. It's 15.01:38:34
MATT: 15. What's your spell attack bonus?01:38:36
LIAM: Plus nine. MATT: Plus nine.01:38:37
LIAM: Says D&D Beyond.01:38:38
MATT: Right, and you rolled a?01:38:39
LIAM: Six.01:38:40
MATT: Six, yeah, so 15.01:38:41
Nice.01:38:42
That just hits, roll damage.01:38:45
LIAM: Okay so Melf's Acid Arrow does 4d6 acid damage.01:38:50
MATT: 4d4, I thought?01:38:51
LIAM: Yeah, 4d4.01:38:55
TRAVIS: Wow.01:38:56
LIAM: 4d4 total. You heard it. He said it.01:38:58
Two, four, five, six points of acid damage.01:39:02
MATT: And it takes 2d4 on the next turn?01:39:05
LIAM: 2d4 on the next, yeah.01:39:07
MATT: You got it, cool. I'm going to put a green marker on it01:39:11
as the acid is splashed against it.01:39:14
Actually, the acid splashes01:39:18
and doesn't seem to scar it as much as you had hoped.01:39:23
All righty.01:39:26
That finishes your turn, Caleb?01:39:27
LIAM: Yeah, I'm done.01:39:29
No, I--yeah, I'm done.01:39:31
MATT: All right, Beauregard, you're up.01:39:33
MARISHA: I punch the jellyfish with my holy lightning chi.01:39:38
MATT: Okay.01:39:39
(laughter)01:39:41
MARISHA: Do I have advantage or is it just regular?01:39:44
Regular, right?01:39:45
That was because I was frightened.01:39:46
MATT: Correct.01:39:47
MARISHA: Okay.01:39:48
First attack.01:39:51
That's balls.01:39:52
15.01:39:53
LAURA: 15 hits! MARISHA: Eyy!01:39:58
12.01:39:59
MATT: 12 points of damage.01:40:01
Go for it.01:40:02
MARISHA: Next one.01:40:05
That hits, 19.01:40:07
That's 18 damage.01:40:11
Oh wait, both of these are missing my modifier.01:40:13
Plus another 12 on top of those two.01:40:15
I should really remember my fucking damage modifier.01:40:18
MATT: How do you want to do this?01:40:19
MARISHA: Eyy!01:40:20
MATT: The jellyfish emerges and is like (wet exploding).01:40:25
MARISHA: I shrug a little, I look around,01:40:29
and then I pew pew, taze it to death.01:40:33
MATT: Yep. You watch it (wet exploding),01:40:36
and it detonates in the air,01:40:38
splattering bits of its semi-translucent fleshy exterior,01:40:41
wipe it off your armor a little bit.01:40:42
LIAM: (high-pitched) Remember me!01:40:44
LAURA: I hold up a little sign that has a seven on it.01:40:46
(laughter)01:40:48
MARISHA: I gymnast bow.01:40:51
TALIESIN: Do we have any ideas for closing this rift?01:40:54
TRAVIS: All right, guys, guys, the fucking tortle!01:40:57
Ah, this tortoise!01:40:59
MATT: That finishes Beau's turn?01:41:02
MARISHA: Yeah, because everything's still going01:41:03
except for the turtle, right?01:41:04
There's a rift and a turtle.01:41:06
MATT: Yep.01:41:07
TRAVIS: It's got me pinned against the wall!01:41:08
TALIESIN: It doesn't zero out the damage. It still takes--01:41:11
LAURA: Yeah, it takes the damage.01:41:12
MATT: Right now, so finishing Beau's turn,01:41:16
Landspeaker Soorna's like, "I don't know,"01:41:20
and is like looking at the turtle and pointing like--01:41:23
TRAVIS: Come pick this thing up!01:41:25
MATT: "What is to be done?"01:41:26
TRAVIS: Get it away from me!01:41:27
ASHLEY: Can I go over and try to pick it up?01:41:30
TRAVIS: Put it on its back or something!01:41:31
TALIESIN: How big is this turtle?01:41:32
MATT: It's about, I'd say, eight foot front to back.01:41:35
It's a giant turtle.01:41:37
LAURA: Can we flip it? I'll use a, I'll help, I can help.01:41:39
We can do this together. Maybe we can flip it onto its back.01:41:42
MATT: Okay, but we have to get to your turn first before--01:41:43
LAURA: Oh, yeah yeah yeah, sorry.01:41:45
MATT: So Fjord, you're up.01:41:46
TRAVIS: This turtle is between me and everything else.01:41:49
MATT: Yep.01:41:50
It has you up against and the wall01:41:51
and it's holding you and it's trying to snap01:41:53
and push you into the wall.01:41:55
TRAVIS: If I leave, it gets an attack of opportunity.01:41:58
MATT: It does. What do you want to do?01:41:59
TRAVIS: I can't leave!01:42:00
TALIESIN: Yeah.01:42:01
TRAVIS: Fuck!01:42:02
I'm going to stand there and die.01:42:03
(laughter)01:42:05
TRAVIS: (screaming)
MATT: (snapping)01:42:09
LIAM: For the record, when I said giant tortoise,01:42:12
I imagined the big turtle I swam with in Hawaii.01:42:15
It was so nice. I didn't mean an eight-foot t-rex!01:42:19
TALIESIN: It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Liam!01:42:24
Choose the form of your destroyer.01:42:26
MATT: It's true.01:42:27
That's exactly what it is.01:42:28
If you want to polymorph something,01:42:30
have the stats ready for what you want to polymorph.01:42:32
LIAM: Yeah, I will, yeah.01:42:33
MATT: Otherwise, when you say giant tortoise01:42:35
and the only giant tortoise in this list01:42:37
is a giant snapping turtle?01:42:38
TALIESIN: That's what you get.01:42:39
MATT: That's what you get.01:42:40
LIAM: Didn't you see inside my head?01:42:42
(laughter)01:42:44
MATT: I tried to think.01:42:46
What did you do, Ray?01:42:48
Okay, so.01:42:50
So Fjord spends his turn trying to hold back01:42:52
the giant snapping turtle.01:42:54
TRAVIS: Help me! Help!01:42:55
(laughter)01:42:56
MATT: Nott, you're up.01:42:57
TRAVIS: Can I take like a--?01:43:01
MATT: You don't even have the room for it. You're like--01:43:06
TRAVIS: (shrieking) No!01:43:07
(laughter)01:43:10
MATT: What you doing Nott?01:43:11
SAM: We're still not attacking this tortoise, right?01:43:13
TRAVIS: (shrieking)01:43:14
(laughter)01:43:15
TRAVIS: (screaming)01:43:17
SAM: Jesus.01:43:18
(laughter)01:43:20
LIAM: It's just as dangerous as...01:43:22
TALIESIN: Are you saying this out loud?01:43:26
ASHLEY: Oh my god.01:43:27
MATT: Nott, what are you doing?01:43:29
Use your turn.01:43:31
SAM: I am going to use all my movement01:43:33
and action to try to physically--no, I can't.01:43:37
TRAVIS: (hysterical) Yes, help!01:43:39
[JENGA]01:43:41
(laughter)01:43:43
SAM: I want to help Fjord, but I can't.01:43:47
Sure, I'm going to run and jump01:43:49
and tackle Fjord away from the tortoise,01:43:51
hoping to shield him with my body.01:43:55
MATT: With your giant goblinoid form.01:43:57
SAM: Yes, my three foot body.01:43:59
MATT: All right.01:44:00
SAM: Just going to tackle Fjord away,01:44:02
like a secret service person.01:44:03
TRAVIS: What are you doing?01:44:05
MATT: Make a strength check.01:44:06
LAURA: You're just going to hug him and stay there.01:44:09
SAM: Ooh, ooh, strength check?01:44:12
Eight.01:44:13
MATT: Eight?01:44:14
You leap and wrap your arms around him.01:44:17
The tortoise goes (snapping), you're like,01:44:20
hiding behind his shield.01:44:22
There's and Nott under Fjord's shield,01:44:25
both being pressed up against the wall.01:44:27
(laughter)01:44:28
TALIESIN: This is going to go so badly.01:44:30
MATT: Does that finish your turn, Nott?01:44:31
SAM: Yeah, that's it.01:44:32
MATT: Okay.01:44:34
Yasha and Jester, what are you doing?01:44:36
ASHLEY and LAURA: Hey!01:44:37
LAURA: Let's run up.01:44:38
ASHLEY: We're running over there--this is ridiculous.01:44:40
LAURA: Like pull it back a little bit.01:44:42
ASHLEY: I'm going to grab one of the01:44:43
stumpy legs from the back.01:44:44
LAURA: Me, too, from the back.01:44:47
MATT: You can barely--in order to get up next to it,01:44:49
it's going to take your action to dash01:44:51
because you're moving so far away.01:44:52
LAURA: No.01:44:53
SAM: Also if you run behind, the horse might kick.01:44:55
ASHLEY: Okay I'm going to try.01:44:57
LAURA: I'm going to let her do it without me then,01:44:58
because I can't.01:44:59
ASHLEY: I'm going to try and go help.01:45:02
MATT: So what, you're trying to pull it away from Fjord?01:45:04
ASHLEY: I'm trying to put it on its back.01:45:06
LAURA: Can she pull it towards me01:45:07
and then I can use my action to help push it over?01:45:14
MATT: She can pull it back and then you can take your action01:45:15
but it would just be you doing it.01:45:17
So either she's doing it, or you're doing it.01:45:19
ASHLEY: Oh, my action would be pulling.01:45:20
MATT: Yeah.01:45:22
You are raging so you still have advantage01:45:24
on your strength checks, so.01:45:25
LAURA: Oh, that's good.01:45:26
ASHLEY: Let me try.01:45:27
MATT: You want to try and push it onto its back?01:45:28
ASHLEY: I'm going to try to push it onto its back.01:45:30
Okay, that was, 19.01:45:34
We'll go with 19.01:45:35
MATT: 19.01:45:36
Let's see if it can...01:45:41
20, it's 16 plus four.01:45:42
ASHLEY: Fuck!01:45:44
MATT: You try and lift and lift and it kicks its tortoise01:45:47
leg out the back and it manages to,01:45:48
you lose your grip, and it (crunching)--01:45:50
TALIESIN: It's going to work, though.01:45:51
TRAVIS: J, come on, kill it!01:45:54
ASHLEY: Ah, okay, well.01:45:56
MATT: That's your action.01:45:57
ASHLEY: That's my action and then...01:46:02
I'm going to spit on it.01:46:03
MATT: All right.01:46:06
It lands on it, a little bit of Yasha spittle.01:46:08
Jester, you still have your action.01:46:10
LAURA: I guess, for my action I'm going to...01:46:13
who knows what the fuck.01:46:14
(laughter)01:46:17
SAM: Tortoises are the new doors.01:46:20
LAURA: I'm going to cast Bless on Fjord.01:46:24
TRAVIS: (yelps)01:46:25
MATT: All righty.01:46:26
LAURA: Oh, I should have done this before01:46:28
and then you could have--whatever.01:46:30
ASHLEY: It doesn't matter.01:46:31
LAURA: On Fjord.01:46:32
MATT: Too late now.01:46:33
LAURA: On Beau!01:46:37
On Caduceus!01:46:39
TALIESIN: Yeah, all right.01:46:40
MATT: There you go.01:46:42
And that's your turn?01:46:45
LAURA: Yeah.01:46:46
TRAVIS: What does that do?01:46:48
TALIESIN: Add a d4 to attacks and saves.01:46:50
MATT: It's the tortoise's turn now.01:46:51
TRAVIS: No.01:46:52
LAURA: On attacks and saves.01:46:53
TRAVIS: No!01:46:55
MATT: It's going to attempt to swipe at you again01:46:57
with this giants pincer mouth.01:46:59
SAM: I'm trying to give him half cover.01:47:00
MATT: No.01:47:02
TRAVIS: Like a little goblin Kevlar vest.01:47:03
(laughter)01:47:05
SAM: Yeah, I'm just protecting the heart and the abdomen.01:47:08
TRAVIS: Take her!01:47:09
LIAM: Nott is just a workout tank.01:47:11
MARISHA: (amused) "Take her."01:47:13
MATT: 18 to hit?01:47:15
TRAVIS: (pained) That hits.01:47:16
Oh wait--yeah, that does in fact.01:47:17
SAM: Oh no, Armor of--01:47:20
LAURA: Oh no, is that going to damage you?01:47:21
MATT: You take--01:47:22
SAM: No, it's going to damage the turtle.01:47:23
LAURA: Yeah, I know, I know.01:47:25
TRAVIS: Oh fuck, here we go.01:47:26
MATT: 20 points of slashing damage.01:47:28
TRAVIS: How many? MATT: 20.
SAM: Jesus!01:47:30
TALIESIN: Are you still standing?01:47:31
TRAVIS: Yeah.01:47:32
SAM: This thing is more powerful than any of us.01:47:33
MATT: Bites into you and it takes 25 points01:47:36
of cold damage from the Armor of Agathys.01:47:38
TALIESIN: Is that technically double?01:47:41
MATT: Because it was-- It is.01:47:43
It takes--01:47:44
Well, was it from an attack?01:47:46
TALIESIN: It's an attack, technically.01:47:47
MATT: Yeah, it would not effect it,01:47:49
because it's not an attack. TALIESIN: I think it's an attack.01:47:53
MATT: It takes 25 points.01:47:55
LAURA: How many hit points does a turtle have?01:47:57
TALIESIN: Yeah, with an attack.01:47:58
SAM: Is it a giant?01:48:00
MATT: and LAURA: It's a giant turtle.01:48:02
SAM: No but is that enough to get out of its form?01:48:05
MATT: No.01:48:06
SAM: Oh.01:48:07
MATT: It has more hit points than that, as a giant tortoise.01:48:08
(groaning)01:48:10
TRAVIS: What did we do?01:48:12
Let's get the fuck out of here.01:48:14
SAM: We made it harder to kill.01:48:15
(laughter)01:48:17
TRAVIS: (shrieks) No!01:48:18
MATT: It bites through the ice,01:48:19
(splashing) blasts into its face,01:48:20
and slams into you again01:48:23
and pushes you into the wall.01:48:25
(laughter)01:48:26
MATT: Caduceus, you're up.01:48:28
TALIESIN: I'm going to pull a little bit01:48:31
around this insanity.01:48:34
MATT: Little bit around this way?01:48:35
TALIESIN: Yeah, just a little, hugging the wall.01:48:37
I am going to keep an eye on that fucking rift,01:48:40
and if anything starts coming through,01:48:42
I'm going to immediately fire a Sacred Flame at that,01:48:46
at anything that comes through,01:48:47
and I'm also saying, I'm just saying,01:48:50
if anybody's got an idea to close this thing, I am all ears.01:48:53
MATT: Caleb.01:48:54
LIAM: I'm in a huff.01:48:55
Reach into my component pouch01:48:56
and I pull out the cocoon again01:48:58
and I say, Scheisse. Fick dich.01:49:00
and I cast Polymorph again, on the tortoise.01:49:04
MATT: Okay.01:49:05
To turn it into?01:49:06
LIAM: Well let's see if it succeeds first.01:49:09
17.01:49:17
MATT: 14.01:49:18
LIAM: It's a regular fucking turtle.01:49:19
(laughter)01:49:32
SAM: Devolution.01:49:34
TALIESIN: Want to throw it back into the rift?01:49:37
SAM: We could chuck it into the rift!01:49:39
LAURA: Oh, yeah, good call!01:49:41
SAM: That's a great call.01:49:42
LIAM: Or we could put it under a cardboard box!01:49:45
TRAVIS: Uh-huh.01:49:46
MARISHA: No, let's just chuck it into the rift.01:49:47
TALIESIN: Maybe it'll be easier to close the rift01:49:49
if there's nothing on this side, I don't know, I'm grasping.01:49:54
MATT: Now there's this little turtle on the ground01:49:56
that's going towards Fjord,01:50:02
and he's doing like a little turtle shell bump01:50:05
into your shin.01:50:06
(laughter)01:50:07
MATT: It's still focused.01:50:09
ASHLEY: That's so cute.01:50:11
TRAVIS: Fuck you! LAURA: That's adorable.01:50:13
SAM: What do we do, what do we do, what do we do?01:50:15
Should we take care of the giant turtle thing?01:50:16
ASHLEY: I feel like maybe we should throw it into the rift.01:50:18
TALIESIN: Throw it into the rift.01:50:19
SAM: Who's a good aimer?01:50:22
TRAVIS: What? SAM: Thrower?01:50:23
MARISHA: If I use it like my throwing stars, can I do that?01:50:27
Can I fucking shot put it?01:50:29
SAM: Oh Mage Hand!01:50:30
LAURA: Yeah, Mage Hand it up.01:50:32
SAM: I will cast Mage Hand.01:50:34
MATT: Everyone else holds. It comes back to Nott's turn.01:50:36
Nott, you're going to Mage Hand, goes over and grabs it01:50:39
and lifts it up and you chuck it into the rift.01:50:41
SAM: Yes.01:50:42
MATT: Okay.01:50:43
You watch as the turtle (whooshing).01:50:47
Just like Poltergeist style,01:50:49
just poof and vanishes into the air.01:50:51
LAURA: I hold up a sign that has an eight on it.01:50:52
(laughter)01:50:53
TALIESIN: Where are you getting all those signs?01:50:55
(laughter)01:50:57
TALIESIN: Can we seal this?01:50:58
SAM: Okay, do we seal this room?01:50:59
The point of this whole thing01:51:00
was to rid their home of bad things.01:51:05
We can't do that.01:51:06
LAURA: I have an idea. Caleb!01:51:07
What if you make your dome thing01:51:10
and you put it on the stairwell01:51:12
and then it blocks anything from coming down the stairs,01:51:16
and then we can close the rift as soon as the morning comes.01:51:19
LIAM: That is an excellent idea.01:51:21
Let me first take a...01:51:24
TRAVIS: Does it keep things out01:51:25
or does it also keep things in?01:51:27
LAURA: It keeps things out.01:51:28
TRAVIS: You couldn't put it around the rift?01:51:29
LAURA: No.01:51:31
TALIESIN: It's a shame we don't have--01:51:32
LAURA: You could put it right up against the rift,01:51:34
potentially, right?01:51:36
SAM: We need to build a platform.01:51:37
LIAM: It does not go--it only goes round side up.01:51:42
LAURA: Yeah, right over the entrance for the stairs,01:51:45
maybe, then.01:51:47
LIAM: That's an excellent idea.01:51:48
SAM: It is.01:51:49
TALIESIN: Oh.01:51:51
LAURA: Thank you.01:51:52
SAM: Would that work, Matthew?01:51:54
MATT: What are you trying?01:51:56
SAM: To cover the entire span of the stairway opening with--01:51:59
LIAM: With Leomund's Hut.01:52:02
ASHLEY: Do we know what time it is?01:52:04
LIAM: Caleb does.01:52:06
MATT: Yes, at this time it would be, probably--01:52:09
let's see, because you guys rested for the night,01:52:14
left first thing in the morning, traveled here,01:52:15
took most of the day,01:52:16
it's probably, I'm going to say, pushing afternoon.01:52:21
TALIESIN: I'm also going to point out that most of these01:52:22
things can probably teleport and go through walls01:52:24
so putting something there--01:52:25
LAURA: Well the jellyfish can, but01:52:27
maybe not the mosquito people.01:52:30
TALIESIN: Maybe not the mosquito people.01:52:34
MATT: What are you guys doing?01:52:36
TALIESIN: We are tapped.01:52:37
LIAM: Well I yank the book out and start ritual casting01:52:39
Leomund's Tiny Hut.01:52:40
LAURA: We all get down the stairs below it.01:52:43
MATT: You all go down the stairs below?01:52:44
Soorna goes and takes the leather01:52:46
that has been scattered and refolds it01:52:47
and places it ritualistically01:52:49
on the center piece of the raised platform01:52:52
and then solemnly looks to the rest of you.01:52:55
Says to you in giant, "What are we doing?"01:52:58
TALIESIN: We don't have--we're too weak01:53:00
to close the rift right now,01:53:02
so we're thinking we may sleep and try again in the morning.01:53:08
Or at least sleep for an hour or two,01:53:10
as many hours as we need to--01:53:13
LAURA: Eight, I need eight.01:53:16
TALIESIN: Unless somebody's got a better idea.01:53:17
I don't know what else to do with this thing.01:53:20
MATT: "All right."01:53:21
LAURA: Were you here when it--was she here when it opened?01:53:24
TALIESIN: Were you here?01:53:25
MATT: "I don't know. I fled when we began to be attacked.01:53:32
"The buzzing began to come from the bone pit01:53:36
"and we began to run and that's when they began to attack.01:53:39
"I was not here for this rift."01:53:41
TALIESIN: Buzzing began, came from the bone pit?01:53:42
TRAVIS: Is there another rift down there?01:53:43
TALIESIN: There might be.01:53:44
ASHLEY: What was the bone pit for?01:53:47
MATT: You closed one.01:53:48
LAURA: Yeah, we closed one in there.01:53:49
TRAVIS: Oh.01:53:51
TALIESIN: I would say, let's--do you feel that this plan,01:53:56
do you feel all right waiting until morning,01:53:58
or at least waiting for a few hours and letting us--01:54:02
LAURA: Regenerate ourselves.01:54:03
Translate that.01:54:04
TALIESIN: Yeah, and regain our power,01:54:06
and perhaps look around to make sure01:54:08
that there's nothing else.01:54:10
MATT: "Of course, of course."01:54:12
And Soorna steps down the stairs with you guys below01:54:15
as you're preparing your ritual.01:54:17
You can see Soorna looks01:54:19
definitely confused by a lot of the things01:54:22
that are transpired, especially the ones turtle related,01:54:25
but there is a look of fear and worry in her eyes01:54:30
that we've come this far and she doesn't seem sold01:54:33
that you're purely confident of what you're doing01:54:35
but is going along with it.01:54:37
You're finishing your ritual,01:54:39
fully extending out to cross the entrance.01:54:41
LIAM: Well it, you know, it's ten foot...01:54:49
Ten-foot radius--yeah, it would do it.01:54:51
MATT: Ten foot radius would close up the entire top.01:54:53
LAURA: Sweet. TALIESIN: Can we have Frumpkin up here01:54:55
maybe keeping an eye on things?01:54:56
LIAM: Absolutely, yeah, he can sit right on top of the dome.01:54:59
TALIESIN: I'm also going to run Detect Magic01:55:00
and do a walk around the place to look around.01:55:03
TRAVIS: Yeah, I was going to say those other wings,01:55:05
just give it a look around.01:55:06
TALIESIN: And some, check for undead.01:55:09
TRAVIS: Investigation.01:55:10
TALIESIN: I've got a couple detect undead--01:55:11
SAM: Investiga-sh.01:55:13
TALIESIN: I think by now your spell is probably--01:55:15
MATT: Okay, so you cast Detect Magic,01:55:19
and where are you going?01:55:20
TALIESIN: I'm checking this room and then I'm walking down01:55:23
and taking a little--01:55:26
TRAVIS: The upper meditation room.01:55:27
MATT: The radius on that is 60 feet, 30 feet, what is it?01:55:30
TALIESIN: That's a good question.01:55:31
Hold on, I'll go looking for that.01:55:32
MATT: While you're doing that, what's anybody else doing?01:55:33
TRAVIS: Investigating the wings down here01:55:35
that we haven't been into.01:55:36
ASHLEY: Yeah, I'll help Fjord with that.01:55:39
Check out the other side.01:55:40
MATT: Investigation check with advantage01:55:42
because you're helping.01:55:43
Unless you guys want to roll independently. Up to you.01:55:46
ASHLEY: Go for it.01:55:50
TRAVIS: 19.01:55:51
MATT: 19, okay.01:55:55
You, upon stepping down into these chambers below,01:56:00
I'll move you guys off and into this area01:56:01
since that's where you're all moving,01:56:03
your holy weapon has faded, your gloves,01:56:08
your fists of doom are no longer channeling the doom01:56:12
from earlier, and Soorna has also come down01:56:14
and joined you all.01:56:16
LIAM: Doomfist.01:56:17
MATT: I'll move this aside here.01:56:18
TALIESIN: I did a little, I started my thing in there,01:56:20
but that would've only taken two seconds.01:56:22
MATT: Right, so.01:56:25
Yasha and Fjord begin01:56:27
going through the various sleeping arrangements here.01:56:30
You find that there are little alcoves01:56:33
that are chipped away at the base of these01:56:36
and hidden beneath the elements of bedding and cloth,01:56:39
little pockets where things are hidden,01:56:41
collections, baubles,01:56:43
seemingly belonging to those who lived here previously.01:56:52
Natural one.01:56:54
LAURA: Sweet.01:56:55
MATT: Soorna does not notice you rummaging through01:56:59
the alcoves of her brethren,01:57:01
is currently focused instead on,01:57:03
looking in the direction of where you are,01:57:05
finishing up your ritual01:57:06
and seems to be generally tense.01:57:09
This massive, you know, long-limbed,01:57:14
elegant stone giant,01:57:16
distracted by the chaos that has happened.01:57:19
You go through those and you can see there's collections01:57:22
of coins, little art pieces, some rough gems.01:57:29
Do you take them?01:57:31
TRAVIS: No, I don't think so.01:57:33
MATT: Okay. There is one of them you do find that has01:57:37
a five foot-wide leather mask.01:57:41
SAM: What?01:57:42
MATT: Sections cut out for the eyes01:57:45
and the rest of it is01:57:46
this like solid patchwork leather.01:57:48
Along the outside of the eyes01:57:50
and along the front of the face,01:57:52
and a singular line around the eyes,01:57:56
there are rough stones, like precious stones,01:58:00
that are pressed into the leather.01:58:02
It look ceremonial.01:58:04
TRAVIS: Yeah.01:58:06
It looks like it would fit on a giant's face, right?01:58:09
MATT: Yes.01:58:11
TRAVIS: Yeah, fuck it, I'll grab it01:58:13
and walk it over to her and say:01:58:16
Hey Soorna, what is this for?01:58:20
MATT: Soorna walks over and takes it from you, gingerly.01:58:25
"This is for my meditations.01:58:27
"It helps me to look beyond the dreams."01:58:32
Takes it and looks at it, solemnly,01:58:36
and I take it you're translating for Fjord?01:58:37
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.01:58:38
Also, does this thing have a magical essence?01:58:41
MATT: This mask does not have a magical essence.01:58:43
TALIESIN: No, okay.01:58:44
MATT: It seems to be purely for ceremonial purposes.01:58:45
TALIESIN: It's not, yeah, it's not making anything buzz.01:58:50
I do my walk around, though.01:58:52
MATT: What was the radius?01:58:53
TALIESIN: 30 feet. Yeah, I have ten minutes01:58:56
for anything within 30 feet is going to ping01:58:58
and I've also got a few undead pings just in case.01:59:01
LAURA: I'm keeping an eye out for jellyfish01:59:02
that are floating around that may be down here.01:59:04
TALIESIN: And any bodies.01:59:06
Anything that can be used.01:59:09
Travis: When you meditate with your mask,01:59:11
what is it you focus on?01:59:13
does it help you lock in on something specific?01:59:19
Matt: Soorna looks towards you and goes,01:59:22
"if you help me save this place, maybe I'll tell you."01:59:27
TRAVIS: That's very fair of you.01:59:28
MATT: Goes and takes the mask01:59:29
and places it back in the hidden chamber in her bedside.01:59:33
TRAVIS: Yep.01:59:35
MATT: Beau, you're keeping eyes out as well.01:59:37
Caleb, you finish your hut above you,01:59:40
blocking off that space,01:59:41
but you have to stay inside it.01:59:42
LIAM: Yeah, correct, I'm parked in this.01:59:43
TALIESIN: Fjord, you should stay in there, too.01:59:46
TRAVIS: Stay in where?01:59:47
TALIESIN: In the bubble.01:59:48
You should be out of the--01:59:49
MATT: So Fjord you're staying with Caleb?01:59:50
TRAVIS: Yeah, sure.01:59:51
TALIESIN: Yeah, Mr. Fjord, you should not.01:59:52
MATT: Anybody else resting anywhere?01:59:54
TALIESIN: As soon as--01:59:55
ASHLEY: I'm going to rest right beneath the bubble01:59:58
to keep an eye on them.02:00:00
MARISHA: I'll go to the bubble.02:00:01
TALIESIN: I think we should all be in the bubble.02:00:02
MARISHA: Let's go in the bubble.02:00:04
LIAM: The bubble is not a complete bubble,02:00:06
it is only a dome,02:00:07
so if there is any danger from the outside,02:00:10
we are not protected from it, below.02:00:12
MATT: Correct. LIAM: I will also have Frumpkin sit in the room,02:00:14
the chamber above, and speak to me02:00:17
if he sees anything amiss.02:00:19
If he does, I will then look through his eyes,02:00:21
but not until.02:00:22
TALIESIN: Taking some shifts?02:00:23
MATT: How long does Daylight spell last?02:00:24
TALIESIN: The light spell? That's a good question.02:00:27
LIAM: Down here?02:00:28
MATT: Well, no, it was cast in the chamber up there.02:00:30
LIAM: Up top, well, that's the drift globe.02:00:33
MATT: Oh, the drift globe, right.02:00:34
LIAM: Which I would've taken by now.02:00:36
MATT: Right, so there would be no light source in that--02:00:37
TALIESIN: I have a Daylight spell.
MATT: But you cast it down here.02:00:39
LIAM: Also, this is unlimited,02:00:43
so I toss it through,02:00:44
I say tawhaj again and toss it through the dome02:00:48
and it floats five feet above the ground02:00:50
down in this chamber below.02:00:53
MATT: Right here? LIAM: Yeah, lighting up this room.02:00:55
MATT: Got it, cool.02:00:56
Is everyone staying up here?02:00:58
SAM: I'm stealthing away from the party.02:01:00
MATT: Okay. Jester, where are you going?02:01:01
LAURA: I'm going to be at the bottom step.02:01:03
I'm going to lay down on the very bottom step.02:01:05
MATT: You got it. Where you going?02:01:07
SAM: I'm going to go to the bone pit.02:01:09
MATT: Okay.02:01:10
Caduceus, you're going with-as you're doing your tour?02:01:14
TALIESIN: My tour shouldn't last more than ten minutes02:01:17
and then I'm joining everybody else.02:01:20
I'm doing a general scan.02:01:21
MATT: Right, well as you're doing your scan,02:01:23
and everyone's getting over here,02:01:25
are you going with Caduceus, then?02:01:26
SAM: Is he going that way?02:01:27
TALIESIN: Yeah. SAM: Then yes, I will grab Caduceus and say:02:01:29
Can you come with me for a second?02:01:31
TALIESIN: All right.
MATT: What are you doing?02:01:33
SAM: Is there a way that you can make02:01:37
that one at peace02:01:40
a little bit, or like, get rid of the burn-y body?02:01:47
MATT: There is the charred corpse of the goblin that was--02:01:50
TALIESIN: I'm going to do my thing.02:01:51
Yeah, I can do something.02:01:53
SAM: Thank you.02:01:54
TALIESIN: Actually, this should be interesting.02:01:56
I'm going to be curious what they think of this.02:01:57
I'm going to cast my little thing on that whole pit.02:02:01
MATT: Decompose? Okay.02:02:03
TALIESIN: I want that to turn into a big,02:02:05
irritating wildflower garden.02:02:07
MATT: It'll take a long time for that to happen.02:02:08
TALIESIN: Oh, I know but it's starting.02:02:10
MATT: You cast Decompose02:02:13
and you can see elements from the very charred corpse02:02:15
of the goblin and the nearby bones02:02:17
begin to gather elements of moss and fungus.02:02:21
TALIESIN: In a few months, it's going to be beautiful and unique.02:02:23
MATT: It's at that moment that your Detect Magic,02:02:26
picks up an essence in the pit.02:02:29
TALIESIN: There's something in the pit.02:02:30
(laughter)02:02:32
What kind of thing?02:02:34
TRAVIS: That is level ten excitement from Caduceus.02:02:35
SAM: Are you detecting your own magic,02:02:38
because you just cast magic down there?02:02:40
TALIESIN: That's not how that works.02:02:41
(laughter)02:02:43
What kind of--02:02:44
SAM: I'm jumping down!02:02:45
LAURA: No!02:02:47
MATT: You do get the kind of magic,02:02:48
though I would say it would be conjuration.02:02:53
SAM: I'm going down to check it out.02:02:55
MATT: You leap down (thudding), make an investigation check.02:02:59
SAM: Ten plus ten.02:03:00
Ten plus 11, 21.02:03:02
MATT: 21, okay.02:03:03
You start rummaging through,02:03:04
like the body of the goblin that you so carefully placed,02:03:08
you chuck it aside and it scatters across the wall,02:03:11
and you start digging through the bones,02:03:12
going underneath, pulling through.02:03:15
About two minutes of you pulling through,02:03:18
eventually you see this faint light02:03:21
and you pull across a few more bones02:03:22
and you look down and you see02:03:26
a silver disk-like object about that wide,02:03:30
with a central orb inside--02:03:32
SAM: We've seen this before!02:03:33
MATT: With these four coiled crystals02:03:36
that are wedged in the sides of it.02:03:38
TALIESIN: We should break it, right?02:03:39
LAURA: I can't remember what they did.02:03:41
TALIESIN: Yeah, we breaked it.02:03:42
SAM: Okay, I'll bring it up.02:03:43
That doesn't close the rift, though, right?02:03:46
TALIESIN: I think it does, actually.02:03:48
MATT: Make a perception check for me.02:03:49
TRAVIS: I remember they generate it.02:03:51
LIAM: I'm nowhere near it though, right?02:03:53
MATT: No, for your cat. LIAM: Oh for me, oh for my cat, got it.02:03:55
LAURA and TRAVIS: Oh no.02:04:00
LIAM: 16.02:04:01
MATT: 16?02:04:02
LIAM: Yeah.
MATT: Okay.02:04:04
That turtle jellyfish,02:04:07
in the time that it's taken for you guys to come down here02:04:09
and set up the ritual and do the passing02:04:11
and searching over this tier,02:04:13
this little jelly (poofing) emerges,02:04:16
and Frumpkin sees it.02:04:17
It vanishes from the chamber.02:04:20
SAM: Oh no.02:04:21
TALIESIN: I think we have to destroy this thing.02:04:23
I'm going to tell you to come out, and bring it out,02:04:26
and we're going to destroy it.02:04:27
SAM: Here, let me throw it to Caleb,02:04:31
he's terrible at Frisbee, he'll miss it, it'll break.02:04:34
TALIESIN: Let's do it quick.02:04:35
MATT: As you guys turn around the corner there,02:04:36
you hear this scraping sound02:04:39
and you glance to the left into the chamber02:04:40
where the skeletal remains of that giant02:04:43
that was being eaten when you first arrived are (crunching).02:04:48
MARISHA: Oh the jelly went into that.02:04:50
MATT: Stand up.02:04:51
ASHLEY: Jelly!
SAM: Oh boy.02:04:54
LIAM: Awesome.02:04:55
MATT: We're going to go to break.02:04:56
(groaning)02:04:57
(laughter)02:05:00
LAURA: Why couldn't I have rolled not a one?02:05:02
MATT: I know! TRAVIS: Baby, it's not your fault!02:05:03
MATT: It happens, it's the name of the game.02:05:06
SAM: It's your fault.02:05:08
MATT: We'll be back here shortly02:05:09
and see what this chaos is going to entail here.02:05:12
We have our Wyrmwood giveaway before we take off.02:05:15
Tonight's password is bedfellows, one word, bedfellows.02:05:20
Put that into our Twitch chat once.02:05:23
More than once and you'll be disqualified02:05:24
and once again this for people in the US and Canada,02:05:26
excluding Quebec because of stupid giveaway laws,02:05:28
but we'll have our winner back here in a few minutes,02:05:31
We'll see you guys then.02:05:32
(tongue clicking)02:05:33
(drum beat)02:05:34
♪ You got the perfect warlock ♪02:05:36
♪ Her weapons and supplies ♪02:05:39
♪ But you need a place to track your stuff ♪02:05:41
♪ 'Cause you're so disorganized ♪02:05:44
♪ You click open the webpage ♪02:05:46
♪ You heard about on Critical Role ♪02:05:49
♪ And now you're ready to kick some butt ♪02:05:51
♪ In that mineshaft full of gnolls ♪02:05:55
♪ It's D&D, D&D ♪02:05:58
♪ D&D Beyond ♪02:06:00
♪ Yeah D&D, D&D ♪02:06:03
♪ D&D Beyond ♪02:06:05
♪ You got your stats and you've got your swords ♪02:06:08
♪ And you got your invisible wand ♪02:06:11
♪ It's D&D, D&D ♪02:06:14
♪ D&D ♪02:06:16
♪ D&D Beyond ♪02:06:24
(birds singing)02:06:30
SAM: I'm a fan of hot air balloon rides02:06:32
above the Venetian countryside.02:06:35
I'm a fan of Momlan, she's always got my back.02:06:40
I'm a fan of wine older than Taliesin.02:06:45
I'm a fan of Twitch subscriptions.02:06:50
I'm a fan of emotes by ArseQueef, they're neat.02:06:54
I'm a fan of a wife so cool, people forget I exist.02:07:00
I'm a fan of random encounters.02:07:05
I'm a fan of gifting subscriptions.02:07:10
I'm a fan of art dads in their birthday suits.02:07:15
I'm a fan of teeth rejuvenation surgery.02:07:20
I'm a fan of Twitch Prime subscriptions.02:07:25
I'm a fan of manicures, I'm a fan of access to VOD02:07:29
in case my manicure runs long and I can't watch it live.02:07:35
I'm a fan of Critical Role.02:07:51
(evil laughing)02:07:55
TALIESIN: "Hello children!02:07:57
"You all know who I am,02:08:00
"but for the sad mortals in the back, listen up!02:08:03
"I am Bast'Alar, The Ascended One,02:08:07
"Destructor of the Gameverse,02:08:10
Shatterer of Realms.02:08:13
"(evil laughter)02:08:15
"I've come bearing condolences to you all.02:08:19
"Your precious little cowboy wasn't feeling well today.02:08:24
"Boo-hoo.02:08:25
"(evil laughter)02:08:26
"I guess it doesn't matter how much you can bench,02:08:29
"if you can't get out of bed!02:08:31
"Looks like my spell worked after all!02:08:35
"(evil laughter)02:08:39
"(sighing)02:08:41
"I guess the rift will just have to remain open02:08:44
"and the wheel will come to a screeching halt.02:08:49
"You moronic hillbillies have no idea02:08:52
"whom you are messing with.02:08:54
"When my owners abandoned me years ago,02:08:57
"I swore to never be domesticated again.02:09:01
"I am no longer a cat, a pet,02:09:05
critter, or a slave,02:09:07
"but a god! (evil laughter)02:09:11
"Are you prepared to see my true power unleashed?02:09:16
"Then come and join us next Tuesday02:09:18
"on Twitch.tv/CriticalRole02:09:22
at 4:00pm Pacific,02:09:25
"and I hope to see you there02:09:27
so you can watch it all burn!02:09:30
"Toodle-oo!02:09:31
"(evil laughter)"02:09:50
BRIAN: Last time on Talks Machina.02:09:53
At 4:00pm at Twitch.tv, I don't want to pull a muscle.02:09:59
Slash.02:10:00
DANI: Oh man, the hair like--02:10:02
ASHLEY: That was a Crispin Glover slash.02:10:05
DANI: That was the worst one.02:10:06
BRIAN: Ash, the camera wasn't on you, do it again.02:10:09
ASHLEY: Is that how you do it?02:10:10
TALIESIN: I don't know.02:10:11
BRIAN: Just say submit and then do that thing02:10:12
that you just did.02:10:13
ASHLEY: What did I do? BRIAN: Just say submit and do the thing you just did.02:10:15
ASHLEY: Did I do it, did I fix?02:10:16
BRIAN: Yeah, do it to this camera. Say submit,02:10:17
and then do the thing you just did.02:10:18
ASHLEY: Submit.02:10:22
(laughter)02:10:23
Is that how you do it?02:10:25
TALIESIN: It is now.02:10:26
That is all the time we have for tonight.02:10:30
That is all I've ever wanted to see on this show.02:10:34
Taliesin, do it with your hair.02:10:37
Thank you, now look at the camera.02:10:41
Now look at the camera.02:10:43
DANI: No, that's not okay, that's not good.02:10:45
BRIAN: Ashley.
TALIESIN: Meep!02:10:47
BRIAN: Did you have any steak last night, Max?02:10:50
Guys, we can't see this unless we can--02:10:52
unless New Greg can make some magic here.02:10:56
Max, are you able to show the people your left hand02:10:59
and your left hand only?02:11:01
TALIESIN: What the?02:11:02
BRIAN: Zach, are you awake?02:11:05
Henry, go wake Zach up, please.02:11:07
TALIESIN: They're working on it.
ASHLEY: There we go.02:11:09
BRIANL Oh, Max.02:11:10
DANI: Oh buddy.02:11:11
BRIAN: Max, what happened?02:11:13
(laughter)02:11:15
DANI: A plus, Steve.02:11:17
TALIESIN: Wow!02:11:18
BRIAN: Max burned his hand making some steaks last night.02:11:23
ASHLEY: Come on, bring it in.02:11:25
(thudding) BRIANL Are you out of your goddamn mind?02:11:28
TALIESIN: Down, boy.02:11:29
BRIAN: You threw that so fucking hard.02:11:33
Maxwell James.02:11:35
ASHLEY: He is short on hands right now.02:11:40
Sports!02:11:41
TALIESIN: Sports.02:11:42
BRIAN: This is a show about a D&D game,02:11:45
can we have some goddamn professionalism?!02:11:49
ASHLEY: I want to try throwing it.02:11:50
BRIAN: This is an important talk show.02:11:52
TALIESIN: It's only fair02:11:53
if everyone gets to throw the paper towels.02:11:54
BRIAN: This format lends itself to professionalism!02:11:57
Tired of people running in here with Nerf guns,02:12:00
disrespecting my Fjord bust by throwing a fucking--02:12:04
ASHLEY: Henry!02:12:07
BRIANL I know you want to help, but it's all over, buddy.02:12:09
TALIESIN: I'm so amused by all of this.02:12:11
BRIAN: Talks Machina had a great run.02:12:13
ASHLEY: What are you doing? This is my spot!02:12:15
BRIAN: There's probably some highlights. Look at the screen.02:12:18
There's probably some highlights on YouTube you can watch.02:12:24
TALIESIN: Oh yeah, I need a ton for the books.02:12:26
ASHLEY: Yep, it's all coming apart.02:12:28
Bye Henry, don't get in the fire.02:12:30
BRIAN: Do not light my dog on fire.02:12:33
DANI: Jesus.02:12:37
[dramatic music]02:12:42
DANI: (sighing)02:12:44
I just want to watch my Critical Role!02:12:48
TALIESIN: For your consideration,02:12:50
this is the face of a Critter who's craving02:12:52
their Critical Role content,02:12:54
but for this sanctimonious shipper,02:12:56
time misled them like a trip to the Feywild.02:12:59
They now have come face to face with existential dread,02:13:02
a fear of sardonic spoilers.02:13:05
Let us lead them across the bridge02:13:07
into a realm of bright shadows where,02:13:09
even if one misses the live viewing02:13:11
of their favorite program,02:13:13
they can still watch it on demand,02:13:15
if they bear the mark of a Twitch subscription02:13:17
to the channel.02:13:18
That mark, a mysterious sigil of emoticons02:13:21
made by the sage, ArseQueef.02:13:25
In this land of shadow02:13:26
known as the Twitch subscription zone,02:13:28
no shipper, fanficcer,02:13:30
or please name my kitten litter critter02:13:32
has to feel like a bitter fritter.02:13:35
And so ends another meandering digression.02:13:38
A complicated parody promo down an indistinct highway02:13:41
to the region we call...02:13:45
The Twitch subscription zone.02:13:48
Subscribe.02:13:51
Twitch Prime subscribe.02:13:54
Gift subscribe.02:13:57
Subscribe.02:14:04
You should check to see if you've left the oven on.02:14:10
[dramatic music]02:25:08
MATT: Welcome back.02:25:09
(laughter)02:25:11
Before we get back to the game,02:25:12
we do have our winner of our Twitch giveaway,02:25:13
which is xgwenthercorpx.02:25:17
(laughter)02:25:19
xgwenthercorpx.02:25:20
Awesome Xbox Live name and/or AOL account title.02:25:25
LIAM: That is the name of a red wizard from Fey, come on.02:25:27
MATT: It's true, it's true.02:25:28
No, it's awesome, congratulations.02:25:29
We'll get our awesome02:25:32
Wyrmwood dice tray,02:25:36
or the various dice or tiles.02:25:40
They're our tabletop tiles, there we go, that's the title,02:25:43
my brain, it's been a little scattered here,02:25:44
but these are the aromatic cedar coming your way.02:25:48
Get excited.02:25:49
It's my favorite, is the cedar.02:25:50
TRAVIS: It's so rad. Keeps away moss!02:25:52
MATT: All righty.02:25:55
So.02:25:57
As the large skeletal giant--02:25:59
TRAVIS: No. No!02:26:00
MATT: --has now risen from the crafts chamber,02:26:03
the rest of you gathered up beneath the top,02:26:06
in that area, the two of you turn the corner,02:26:09
clutching this metallic disk object02:26:12
that you managed to find in the bottom of the bone pit02:26:14
and turn to see this entity (cracking).02:26:17
TALIESIN: Take it to the others.02:26:19
TRAVIS: ♪ Take it to the bridge ♪02:26:20
SAM: What--are you going to stay here?02:26:22
Oh my god.02:26:24
MATT: I'd like you both to roll initiative.02:26:27
MARISHA: Just run! SAM: Terrible.02:26:29
MARISHA: Just run back!02:26:30
SAM: Eight.02:26:31
TALIESIN: 11.02:26:32
TRAVIS: Go lie under the charred body of your fellow goblin.02:26:35
(laughter)02:26:42
MARISHA: Some Saving Private Ryan shit.02:26:43
TRAVIS: Oh yeah, yeah.02:26:46
TALIESIN: Does my--02:26:48
TRAVIS: Does it?02:26:49
TALIESIN: Does my thing follow the jellyfish now, still,02:26:52
because we still haven't gotten that one hit.02:26:54
Is the jellyfish still touched by--?02:26:56
MATT: How long does it last?02:26:57
TALIESIN: That's a good question.02:26:58
I'll find out while we figure out what's up.02:27:01
TRAVIS: What the hell is the jellyfish?02:27:02
What are you talking about?02:27:03
LAURA: The jellyfish.02:27:05
TRAVIS: The jellyfishes in hell?02:27:06
SAM: With initiative of eight am I going first, Matt?02:27:08
MATT: You are not.02:27:09
SAM: Okay. MARISHA: There's no jellyfishes in hell!02:27:12
TRAVIS: I dispute this!02:27:13
MATT: The entity is going first.02:27:15
SAM: Sure.02:27:16
MATT: As it clatters forward, its bone claw snags the stone02:27:19
and scrapes as it pulls itself.02:27:21
It lurches and almost seems to stumble02:27:23
and its body clattering02:27:25
as the strips of cloth and skin hang from its exposed bones02:27:29
that are still scraped and mangled02:27:30
from demons that tore into it and pulled apart the innards.02:27:33
It reaches out,02:27:35
grabbing one of the large pieces of unworked stone,02:27:37
it--woof--comes down with a heavy swing02:27:42
towards you, Caduceus.02:27:44
SAM: Oh no!02:27:46
Mr. Clay!02:27:47
MATT: Each of you, one giant swing towards both of you,02:27:49
both of its attacks are going to be.02:27:51
Against you Nott, that is going to be a 19 to hit.02:27:55
SAM: Uncanny dodge.02:27:57
MATT: All righty.02:28:00
MATT: (laughs)02:28:03
That is going to put it at--02:28:10
27 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to half,02:28:12
so you take 13.02:28:14
TRAVIS: Shit, man.02:28:16
MATT: Against Caduceus.02:28:18
Natural 18.02:28:19
TALIESIN: Fuck, I'm hit.02:28:20
MATT: Yeah, it's going to be a 27 to hit.02:28:21
TALIESIN: Oh, yeah that hits.02:28:24
SAM: Mr. Clay!02:28:25
(laughter)02:28:27
ASHLEY: Ah!02:28:28
MATT: 22 points of bludgeoning damage.02:28:30
As your both (thudding) almost knocked off your feet,02:28:32
you skid to the ground,02:28:34
and the creature grabs the stone piece again02:28:36
and it picks up, it looks like a giant long brick02:28:38
that it's bludgeoning you with.02:28:40
That ends its turn.02:28:41
LAURA: Did we hear anything, can we hear any commotion?02:28:43
TALIESIN: We're yelling!02:28:44
MATT: They're yelling down the hallway.02:28:47
You guys are all up here as he's finished the dome.02:28:50
SAM: Mr. Clay!02:28:51
ASHLEY: an I see from where I'm at?02:28:55
MATT: From where you are now you hear shouting,02:28:56
and you glance out the side and can see them engage.02:28:59
ASHLEY: I start running.02:29:00
MATT: I need you to roll initiative.02:29:01
ASHLEY: Okay, okay.02:29:02
MATT: 'Til right now,02:29:03
all of you guys aren't in this combat round,02:29:05
but we'll add you to the next combat round.02:29:07
MARISHA: Beau is going through her notes in the corner.02:29:10
I'm surrounded by notebooks.02:29:12
MATT: Over here you mean?02:29:14
MARISHA: In the dome.02:29:15
MATT: In the dome, yeah.02:29:16
MARISHA: Yeah. ASHLEY: 18.02:29:17
LAURA: 21.02:29:18
ASHLEY: Yeah!02:29:19
TALIESIN: Fuck yeah.02:29:21
TRAVIS: Ah, fuck yeah.02:29:26
MATT: Everyone else rolling initiative02:29:27
to enter this next round?02:29:28
MARISHA: Yeah, I'll go.02:29:31
Natural one. That's fitting since I was caught reading,02:29:34
so six.02:29:35
TRAVIS: 15.02:29:36
MATT: All righty.
TRAVIS: Better.02:29:40
MATT: Caleb?02:29:41
LIAM: Oh sorry, I was thinking about spells, shockingly.02:29:45
16.02:29:46
MATT: 16.02:29:50
And Fjord what were you again, you were--?02:29:51
TRAVIS: 15.02:29:52
Fi-deen!02:29:53
LAURA and TRAVIS: Fi-deen!02:29:56
LIAM: I have a question, too.02:29:57
TRAVIS: Yeah?02:29:58
LIAM: I had Frumpkin sitting outside the dome02:30:00
to tell me if anything amiss was happening,02:30:02
so did Frumpkin see a jellyfish02:30:04
float out of the turtle and then, (slurping).02:30:06
MATT: Yep. And let you know that.02:30:08
LIAM: So the turtle is just there,02:30:11
like not moving, at this point?02:30:13
MATT: No, the turtle was not visible,02:30:14
the turtle was thrown into the portal.02:30:15
LIAM: Oh that's right, that's right,02:30:17
so it's just a new jellyfish?02:30:18
MATT: You just watched a jellyfish go, poof (slurping).02:30:19
LAURA: Oh!02:30:20
LIAM: Thank you, thank you.02:30:22
LAURA: I thought it came out of the turtle.02:30:23
LIAM: Right.02:30:24
MATT: The turtle you never saw.02:30:27
LIAM: Where is the turtle now?02:30:29
LAURA: Aw, living its best life.02:30:33
MATT: It's polymorphed,02:30:34
there isn't an actual turtle anymore!02:30:37
TRAVIS: Fuck your turtle!02:30:38
MATT: Jesus christ, guys!02:30:40
That brings us to--that turn--Nott.02:30:44
No, Caduceus, you're up first.02:30:47
TALIESIN: Okay.02:30:48
MATT: After the impact and the slamming heavy sounds.02:30:50
(growling)02:30:51
TRAVIS: Talk now.02:30:52
MATT: The rest of you are now aware,02:30:54
between Caleb making note02:30:55
that something weird came out of the portal.02:30:57
(laughter)02:31:00
MARISHA and TRAVIS: Something weird02:31:01
came out of the portal!02:31:02
(laughter)02:31:04
MARISHA: We're sorry!02:31:05
TRAVIS: C'mon, baby!02:31:08
MATT: The heavy sounds of impact02:31:09
and screaming down the hallway,02:31:11
you're all aware that something is wrong.02:31:13
TALIESIN: I am definitely going to yell,02:31:16
definitely going to do a little yelling of, help,02:31:18
there's another one, and we found a crazy disk again!02:31:21
I'm going to--found a crazy disk.02:31:24
I'm going to cast Ray of Enfeeblement.02:31:26
ALL: Ooh!02:31:30
ASHLEY: Ooh!02:31:31
TALIESIN: Let that come out your portal!02:31:32
(laughter)02:31:35
That's a--02:31:44
That's a constitution saving--yeah.02:31:46
MATT: Constitution saving throw or is it a attack roll?02:31:50
Ray is usually a--02:31:51
LAURA: Constitution saving--02:31:52
MATT: Got to make a ranged spell attack against the target.02:31:54
MATT: So roll that.02:31:56
TALIESIN: Oh!02:31:58
That's a 19 plus god only knows.02:32:00
MATT: Yeah, that'll hit.02:32:04
Target only deals half damage02:32:05
with strength attacks until the spell ends.02:32:07
LAURA: Nice.02:32:08
MATT: Great. So you are concentrating.02:32:10
TALIESIN: I am.02:32:12
MATT: Now it does half damage with strength attacks.02:32:14
Oof, that's fucked.02:32:16
TRAVIS: To everything it hits?02:32:18
MATT: If it uses strength.02:32:19
LAURA: Nice.02:32:20
TALIESIN: It's a big clunky thing.02:32:21
TRAVIS: Yeah buddy.02:32:22
TALIESIN: Let's burn that spell slot.02:32:27
I'm going to--we're engaged,02:32:29
so if I back up five feet, I'm not going to be losing its--02:32:35
I'm not going to be disengaging with it am I?02:32:36
MATT: Gathering at the length of its reach02:32:38
from what you've seen, if you move five feet away,02:32:40
you're still within its reach.02:32:41
TALIESIN: Oh, okay, so I'm going to back away five feet02:32:43
and so that people can actually, hopefully see what's up.02:32:46
MATT: You got it.02:32:47
That finishes your go?02:32:48
TALIESIN: Yep.02:32:49
MATT: Nott, you're up.02:32:51
SAM: With one hand, I will hold up the disk,02:32:54
with the other hand I will draw my pistol02:32:59
and I will fire at the giant, through the disk.02:33:03
MATT: Okay.02:33:04
LAURA: Oh, shit.02:33:05
MATT: Roll damage.02:33:06
SAM: Okay.02:33:07
It's a d10.02:33:11
Oh, terrible, seven points of damage.02:33:14
MATT: Seven points of damage,02:33:15
and then roll an attack with disadvantage against the giant.02:33:17
SAM: Okay.02:33:21
13 is the lower, 18 to hit.02:33:23
MATT: Still hits, roll damage against the giant.02:33:25
SAM: Ooh!02:33:27
Ooh, 11!02:33:28
That's a nine, 14 points of damage!02:33:32
MATT: 14 points of damage.02:33:33
As you, (thudding), the crystal globe in the center02:33:37
of this device (splattering) shatters outward.02:33:40
Whatever mercury-like material02:33:43
that was originally held within the inside02:33:44
is scattered outward02:33:45
with the shards of broken crystal and glass.02:33:48
TRAVIS: Don't let it touch your skin!02:33:49
MATT: The coils and the crystals on the sides dim02:33:52
and the bullet continues on02:33:54
and blasts into the skeletal creature,02:33:56
you can see it hit and splinter part of the clavicle bone02:33:59
and elements of its back shoulder blade.02:34:02
SAM: I'm going to say to the giant: Eldritch Blast!02:34:09
Then I'm going to disengage and run!02:34:11
MATT: Five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35.02:34:16
TALIESIN: It's okay.02:34:17
MATT: There you go, then yeah,02:34:19
the device is predominantly not functional.02:34:23
SAM: Great. MATT: That finishes your go,02:34:24
it is now back to the top of the round here,02:34:28
Jester, you're up first.02:34:29
LAURA: Sweet, I'm going to run to the doorway,02:34:32
actually I'm going to run 30 feet, however far that is.02:34:35
MATT: Right there. SAM: Got some cotton in your mouth?02:34:36
MATT: You can see the big skeletal giant (growling).02:34:39
LAURA: (screams)02:34:40
I'm going to cast Guiding Bolt at 2nd-level.02:34:44
TRAVIS: ♪ Guiding bolt ♪02:34:46
TRAVIS and MARISHA: ♪ Up the butt ♪02:34:47
LAURA: ♪ Right up the butt ♪02:34:48
ASHLEY: (as Pike) Yeah.02:34:49
TALIESIN: Now you're playing with portals.02:34:51
MATT: Go ahead and roll the attack.02:34:53
LAURA: That's finally a good roll.02:34:56
27.02:34:57
MATT: That definitely hits, roll damage.02:34:59
LAURA: There's the 5d6 I was seeing.02:35:02
Ooh!02:35:05
Ten, 18, 21!02:35:10
MATT: 21 points of damage. Nice!02:35:12
LAURA: Then--02:35:13
MATT: (thudding) Part of its pelvic bone02:35:17
breaks and splinters off and its leg limps to one side.02:35:20
LAURA: Next attack is at advantage against it.02:35:22
MATT: You got it. All right. That finishes your turn?02:35:26
It's now the creatures turn.02:35:28
SAM: Oh, Mr. Clay! Mr. Clay!02:35:32
LAURA: Do I have any movement left?02:35:33
MATT: No, it was 30 feet to get there.02:35:36
The creature comes forward again,02:35:37
grabs its bludgeoning stone piece in its hand--02:35:42
TALIESIN: You're not looking too hot.02:35:44
MATT: (growls) Let's see here, hold on.02:35:49
First, it's going to look down at you,02:35:51
and in your direction, it's going to move,02:35:56
it's actually going to move a little this way02:35:59
into this space to get in the vicinity.02:36:02
SAM: Damn. MATT: As it steps over you, Caduceus,02:36:06
holding its thing in the air02:36:08
and looking towards both of you,02:36:09
and you're glancing over your shoulder, Nott.02:36:12
You watch as the sutures in the skull,02:36:14
split open and shard02:36:18
and the brain begins to02:36:20
ooze out of the center of it02:36:22
and into the middle of its face02:36:24
and slop onto the ground and its head turns to the side02:36:27
and gives this horrible shrieking sound.02:36:31
I need both of you to make wisdom saving throws,02:36:33
will you please.02:36:35
TALIESIN: Eh.02:36:37
SAM: 12.02:36:39
TALIESIN: 13.02:36:40
MATT: Both of you guys succeed.02:36:41
SAM: Oh! I was not expecting that.02:36:44
MATT: The sense of fear almost fills you,02:36:47
but you've fought one of these before02:36:50
and it's just a skeleton, how bad could it be?02:36:53
As it goes and attempts to bludgeon you twice.02:36:56
Natural 20.02:36:58
TALIESIN: I cancel that.02:37:00
MATT: Can you cancel it on other people or against you as well?02:37:03
Double check that, just to be sure.02:37:04
Second attack is going to be 22 to hit.02:37:09
TALIESIN: Hold on, is that with the half damage?02:37:12
MATT: 22 to hit, I haven't rolled damage yet.02:37:13
TALIESIN: Oh, 22 definitely hits but hold on one second.02:37:17
When any creature you can see02:37:19
within 30 feet suffers a critical hit.02:37:21
MATT: That would be yourself, you can, yeah.02:37:22
TALIESIN: Yeah, let's undo that.02:37:23
MATT: Okay, so straight damage.02:37:25
SAM: That is the best feature ever.02:37:27
TALIESIN: Then that's straight damage halved, I believe.02:37:30
MATT: Correct.02:37:31
TALIESIN: I know, I can do it so many times, too.02:37:35
SAM: How many times?
TALIESIN: Five times per long rest.02:37:37
SAM: Oh my god!02:37:38
TALIESIN: As long as I can see02:37:39
what's happening within 30 feet.02:37:40
SAM: Wow, if only we had that when Mollymauk was around.02:37:42
MATT: 22 points of bludgeoning damage,02:37:45
halved, so take 11 points.02:37:46
LAURA: That's with his strength modifier lowered?02:37:49
MATT: Correct.02:37:53
Make a concentration check.02:37:55
TALIESIN: Mm-hmm, with advantage?02:37:57
MATT: Yes, because you have War Caster.02:38:00
TALIESIN: Thank god, so that's 20,02:38:03
a constitution check or save?02:38:04
MATT: It's a save.
TALIESIN: 20.02:38:06
MATT: Yeah, you're fine.02:38:07
Second strike comes to bludgeon you again,02:38:09
it's going to be 20 to hit.02:38:11
TALIESIN: That hits. Rolling well.02:38:16
LAURA: Ooh, you got a pretty background.02:38:18
MATT: 18 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to nine.02:38:21
You take nine points,02:38:23
make another concentration check.02:38:25
LAURA: His is prettier, though.02:38:26
SAM: What's yours? Standard?02:38:29
LIAM: Ya basic.02:38:31
TALIESIN: 18.02:38:32
MATT: Yeah, so you maintain concentration on that.02:38:34
That ends its turn.02:38:35
It seems frustrated by the Ray of Enfeeblement.02:38:38
TALIESIN: Yep. MATT: It's attempting to remove the current issue.02:38:42
That brings us now to the next round.02:38:44
Yasha, you're up.02:38:45
ASHLEY: Okay, so I will start running towards them.02:38:48
SAM: ♪ Running with the night! ♪02:38:51
MATT: (counting) 35, 40.02:38:53
ASHLEY: Then I'll dash for the rest of my movement.02:38:57
MATT: (counting) 35, 40.02:38:59
SAM: Hello Yasha!02:39:00
MATT: Not quite in range yet.02:39:01
ASHLEY: Hello!02:39:02
SAM and ASHLEY: Hi.02:39:05
ASHLEY: I just say hello and that's the end of my turn.02:39:06
MATT: Okay, there you go, proper Yasha greeting.02:39:09
Finishing that moves us to Caleb.02:39:11
ASHLEY: Hello!02:39:12
TRAVIS: She's so fucking polite!02:39:13
LIAM: All of the noise down below plus02:39:15
that little teleporting jellyfish,02:39:16
I know what's going on,02:39:17
I just walk down the stairs, the dome vanishes,02:39:20
and I would like to go where Yasha was standing02:39:24
so I can see down the hall.02:39:25
Back, no, yeah, into that spot.02:39:28
I'm pulling the catmint out of my pocket02:39:32
and weaving my fingers here and muttering02:39:34
and I cast Cat's Ire and the giant cat's claw02:39:38
appears right in front of the giant's face.02:39:41
MATT: Cat's Ire is what level?02:39:43
LIAM: Fifth.02:39:44
I have one fifth, didn't we sleep before we came in here?02:39:46
LAURA: No.02:39:47
LIAM: We didn't, then I don't do that.02:39:49
MATT: Well no, you cast it when we were at the--Description:
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