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Previous video: BEST Of Real Life WIZARD Next video: "Кривое Зеркало" №62. Спектакль «Круиз» (2008)

"Кривое Зеркало" №62. Спектакль «Круиз» (2008)

"Кривое Зеркало" №62. Спектакль «Круиз» (2008)

Channel: Петросян Live

BEST Of Real Life WIZARD

BEST Of Real Life WIZARD

Channel: Xavier Mortimer

Нокаут Омский боец Шлеменко против Melvin Manhoef

Нокаут Омский боец Шлеменко против Melvin Manhoef

Channel: много видео

Петросян

Степаненко

Смехопанорама

Страсти

мордасти

страсти мордасти

Кривое зеркало

Шутка

Аншлаг

Шутки

Юмор

Смех

Приколы

юмористы

юмористическая передача

смотреть

лучшее

камеди comedy

развлечения

прикольный

смешное видео

розыгрыш

ржач

lol

cool

joke

fun

humour

crazy

funny

LOL

laugh

humor

jokes

haha

00:00:00

[music]

00:00:12

hello Evgeny Petrosyan and that's all,

00:00:16

let the game smile and everyone

00:00:19

who wants to make a good joke, we can

00:00:22

rain, invite them, it will immediately become easier

00:00:24

to live, at least more fun, maybe a little

00:00:27

at the bottom and let Evgeny

00:00:31

Petrosyan and that's all- everyone won’t sit down

00:00:35

on the sofa, but everyone, everyone, with all my heart,

00:00:39

now I’ll show you

00:00:49

[applause]

00:01:04

the sedan

00:01:13

is bright and life in the world is easier for citizens who

00:01:20

love laughter, laugh like children, fool around

00:01:25

like children, joy, humor is not a sin,

00:01:30

death, good-natured business is not a hindrance,

00:01:33

only a helper always laugh and

00:01:39

cry merrily from laughter they are from troubles gentlemen, you are

00:01:45

Philip to the tracks

00:01:48

[applause]

00:01:56

[applause]

00:02:02

[music]

00:02:06

[applause]

00:02:08

[music]

00:02:11

why are the tables made and give, how

00:02:30

cool is it Lyokha, why are you so sad, what

00:02:34

happened? I have all the news, but there are good

00:02:40

trousers, there are good ones, there are bad ones tell me,

00:02:45

my mother-in-law, you know

00:02:49

paris, someone doesn’t know yourself either,

00:02:53

horror, flying on wings, well, Marcelino, everything,

00:03:05

everything, absolutely, absolutely, everything, well,

00:03:15

what’s the bad news

00:03:21

[applause]

00:03:23

wait, you didn’t understand, that was bad

00:03:26

news,

00:03:28

but I was in our hospital Today

00:03:31

I came to the hospital to see the

00:03:32

doctor, I’m asking for the map of Mary

00:03:34

Semyonna, she says Mary Semyonna has moved away, so

00:03:39

what, well, no, I didn’t like her as a person, after

00:03:42

all, but one piece of good news, what is the

00:03:50

test, we know him,

00:03:54

Petrovich, the

00:03:56

elephant, the

00:03:58

folder, I mean, you drank it, then wait, wait, that’s it,

00:04:03

go, that’s it it’s okay, he doesn’t know

00:04:06

about Mars yet, so listen, uncle, if he’s

00:04:11

helping out, well, you know, he’s an elderly man, early,

00:04:14

my husband, you’ll tell him and tell him

00:04:17

somehow, but it’s not convenient for me, you

00:04:19

know, well, you and your mouth where it’s easier

00:04:23

[music]

00:04:25

to make it easier, it’s necessary have a drink there, and

00:05:00

your wife,

00:05:02

Marya Semyonna, go to the border, well, here’s

00:05:09

your health,

00:05:12

here I live alone without a wife, it’s good

00:05:27

and Tatyana, don’t dig your brain,

00:05:30

drink, drank one card, we’re better than

00:05:37

everyone else, why are you telling me about this,

00:05:40

they’re married to yes yes yes Yes, what are our

00:05:47

years up to 1000 good and the earthly good one

00:05:51

will come across here

00:05:52

from and this one will come across like your pigweed

00:05:55

seed poke you howl you excuse me

00:06:00

of course but along the way it was harmful

00:06:08

why it was and I said it was

00:06:13

let’s not drink to what we’ll drink to her health

00:06:16

without clinking glasses

00:06:26

and why didn’t chekay

00:06:30

died so that it’s alive on you, why did he meet Lyokha,

00:06:36

he didn’t see today he’s alive,

00:06:41

alive, and the night of profit lived the kingdom

00:06:45

of heaven

00:06:50

oh, why are you, what am I saying, he lay down in time, he

00:06:55

today he I saw he’s lying down, she’s burning warmly, the

00:07:01

Greeks

00:07:02

about with the back it is so covered oh I feel bad oh

00:07:08

well you know what the main thing is don’t

00:07:11

worry wait until I call they say

00:07:23

the subscriber is outside the coverage area of the network the

00:07:25

date that reached maybe it’s

00:07:32

underground somewhere in the metro maybe you

00:07:35

wrote already he may have been buried

00:07:40

and what everyone start talking,

00:07:43

tell me honestly Pamir on the chair, I

00:07:45

speak to you in Russian, I’m alive and you don’t

00:07:50

speak Russian to me, you don’t speak in some

00:07:52

strange language, you know that don’t feel

00:07:54

sorry for me, say it like a friend, tell it like it is,

00:07:57

okay, she

00:07:59

said she blew up, you understand, you don’t

00:08:07

know, he lived you babu stink lawyer is

00:08:11

still warming up

00:08:12

Rakhov it’s time to get started I mean it’s time to

00:08:21

bury I’ll mix

00:08:25

up the gunpowder in the flasks

00:08:28

why are you liking to hell Loyko and now

00:08:32

he’s going to glue two flippers together at once to store

00:08:35

will come tell me honestly tell me how your friend

00:08:39

died Marie Senn she yes or no

00:08:44

yes no

00:08:48

if I mean, she’s alive, she’s alive in our

00:08:53

hearts, I’ll kill you as a friend, I tell her I

00:09:02

understand well where there where we are not

00:09:20

[applause]

00:09:25

well, that’s how it is at home

00:09:30

[applause]

00:09:39

Borussia report I don’t see joy on

00:09:43

your rector

00:09:45

dear gti belly

00:09:48

I asked the doctor says to Mars, he’s

00:09:51

gone,

00:09:53

well, I went to the toilet,

00:09:58

what did you think, well,

00:10:12

you’re an idiot, well, you’re an idiot,

00:10:21

well, you’re a new idiot 0 and torture raptor

00:10:38

[applause]

00:10:42

[music]

00:10:49

we call it almost after Chekhov,

00:10:53

why because the Czechs have Anton Polcha

00:10:57

there is a similar story, it was called

00:11:01

a diplomat, it’s the same plot, by the way, I’m

00:11:06

very upset that modern comedians

00:11:10

don’t read humorous stories and don’t

00:11:13

assume that this is yesterday sheath wo

00:11:15

n’t sound today, but I

00:11:18

’ll try now and you and I will find out whether

00:11:23

it’s modern or not, whether it sounds

00:11:25

or not I propose to conduct such an experiment

00:11:33

in the morning at the apartment of pensioner Maria Vanna,

00:11:37

the phone rang,

00:11:39

she put down her knitting and picked up the phone, a

00:11:43

man’s voice was chattering, your grandson

00:11:46

got into an accident, it’s his

00:11:48

fault, it’s broken, an expensive foreign car, her

00:11:53

victim is facing from 3 to 5 years in prison,

00:11:57

he faces to help his grandson to avoid

00:12:01

prison you will have to pay how much

00:12:05

Mary Ivanna babbled 300,000 now

00:12:09

our man will come to you, prepare the money

00:12:12

but no one else will talk about this, the grandson will go to

00:12:15

prison but I don’t have that kind of money at home said

00:12:20

Mary Ivanna and you

00:12:21

need to go to the bank but okay, go

00:12:25

outside and the silver ones will come to you Lada

00:12:27

and will take you

00:12:30

to the bank, having arrived at the bank, the driver pressed his finger to

00:12:33

Maria’s lips, a bath of flour in the new one,

00:12:37

half an hour later, he returned to the village, sighed, I forgot the

00:12:40

pin code from the card, I forgot

00:12:46

to go to the dacha, and he

00:12:50

wrote down in my notebook there the dacha, which was 40

00:12:53

kilometers from the city of Mary Ivanna left

00:12:56

with two huge bags of potatoes and a

00:12:59

net of onions, we're

00:13:01

loading them in the trunk, let's go, he told the

00:13:04

bored driver to go to the bank, he

00:13:07

asked again, he threw home and mari

00:13:10

Ivanna, well, it's not like he's going to the bank with potatoes

00:13:13

along the road near the supermarket,

00:13:16

he stopped, he needs to buy bread and milk,

00:13:19

the driver frowned but remained silent rather than

00:13:23

sitting idle, he would help his grandmother,

00:13:26

she noticed, getting out of the car at her

00:13:30

house, the fraudster obediently followed her to the

00:13:35

5th floor and there the police were already waiting for him,

00:13:38

but what about the grandson asked, they were detained,

00:13:42

I don’t have any grandson, as there was no

00:13:45

accident,

00:13:46

go, I’ll go to you I immediately figured out why there

00:13:51

was a need to go to the bank then, but to

00:13:54

pay for the apartment and phone,

00:14:04

and why did we go to the dacha, to

00:14:07

bring potatoes and onions home, I’m not your

00:14:11

grandmother with a cat, I’m a retired police major

00:14:22

[applause]

00:14:25

a story with political overtones

00:14:29

New York a modern hairdresser cuts a

00:14:33

client's hair and at the same time talks to him in

00:14:37

the kingdom, you are a brave person, you were not

00:14:40

afraid to go to Russia, they say

00:14:44

even in Moscow there is

00:14:45

garbage and dirt, bears walk the streets,

00:14:48

no, Moscow seemed to me much

00:14:52

cleaner and more beautiful than New York, it has become prettier,

00:14:58

new fairy tales in my opinion tell me,

00:15:01

what airlines did you fly with Aeroflot,

00:15:06

yes, this is a disgusting company, the cabin

00:15:09

smells of kerosene, the cramped

00:15:10

conditions are bad and the flight is always

00:15:15

late, I have to disappoint you,

00:15:18

this is one of the best

00:15:21

airlines today, new comfortable planes,

00:15:25

food from the best restaurants, beautiful

00:15:27

flight attendants, cool pilots, don’t

00:15:31

tell me fairy tales

00:15:33

I heard you were in the mausoleum

00:15:37

and you saw Lenin there, we see, by

00:15:41

the way, Russian scientists performed a miracle,

00:15:43

they revived Lenin,

00:15:46

and what did he say to you, and just a couple of

00:15:50

words, he said a shoe and who cut your hair so

00:15:53

badly

00:16:02

the theater came to a man to get a job as an

00:16:04

administrator for him the director says, you

00:16:08

know, our former administrator

00:16:10

recently died tomorrow, my funeral was so

00:16:13

loved, so loved, he could get everything,

00:16:15

settle everything, agree on everything, let's

00:16:18

do this if tomorrow you

00:16:21

manage to get him a place at the Novodevichy

00:16:25

cemetery, consider that you are accepted

00:16:28

in the morning the director's phone rang, there are

00:16:32

two places on Novodevichy 8 on Khovansky

00:16:36

3 near the Kremlin wall

00:16:39

cooking people urgently

00:16:50

easier rumble baby playing in the sandbox

00:16:54

from the window of a multi-story building from the third

00:16:59

floor a man flew out and fell flat in the

00:17:03

sandbox the boy got scared the man

00:17:06

stood up and shook himself off and said so the boy

00:17:09

look from this window from the third floor

00:17:12

now the men will fly out and you

00:17:15

understand, I understand, and indeed 5

00:17:20

minutes a man flew out of the window and plopped down

00:17:24

in the sandbox, the boy said once the man

00:17:29

stood up and shook himself off, he said come and

00:17:31

the boy don’t count it again, I the

00:17:43

doctor examined my grandmother, he fell

00:17:46

ill and told his grandfather that your old lady is

00:17:50

lying down doesn’t eat or drink, the case is very serious,

00:17:55

I’ll advise you, my dear, pay

00:17:58

attention to her,

00:17:59

remember and youth, have sex,

00:18:06

suddenly it will help, after all, positive

00:18:09

emotions that you allow yourself,

00:18:13

grandfather was indignant, how are you talking to me, I’m old

00:18:16

and spoiling in my hands Lenin died but

00:18:20

another there is no way, try it anyway,

00:18:23

the grandfather groaned, he threw a handful of Viagra,

00:18:27

he fulfilled his marital duty, he was tired, he fell asleep

00:18:32

in the morning, they were watching granny in the kitchen, their

00:18:37

lips were busy, they touched up the

00:18:40

song, they were humming, they were already dancing,

00:18:44

they were thinking, they were dressed in their hearts, they exclaimed,

00:18:47

the floor turns out, then I go out and

00:18:51

Lenin could be saved

00:18:55

[applause]

00:19:04

one more 5 times

00:19:08

the price asked her husband

00:19:11

to go to the bachelorette party, promised or the fly at

00:19:16

12 will be like a bayonet, she

00:19:18

returned home only at 4 in the morning, drunk,

00:19:24

she quietly opened the door, went in and

00:19:29

heard the cuckoo clock

00:19:32

crowing four times,

00:19:35

then she cuckooed herself, and

00:19:38

now the disk crowed eight more times 12 at night

00:19:43

we have an extra day, my husband asks, did you

00:19:46

come back in a hurry 12 my word is the law

00:19:51

when I came in the cuckoo just

00:19:55

crowed 12 times I heard but we will have to

00:20:00

change this cuckoo she is crazy

00:20:04

yesterday when you came to cuckooed and

00:20:07

four times then said damn

00:20:13

under the enemy barked, she hoped twice

00:20:19

than she sneezed about praise twice to

00:20:25

steal the plan to

00:20:28

see who you are from four more times for

00:20:32

donuts boredom

00:20:34

she stepped on the cat

00:20:38

with a crash fell to the floor and cooed

00:20:42

even to fear

00:20:46

[applause] [

00:20:51

music]

00:21:02

[applause]

00:21:16

hello, I'm here you get a patent to tangle the squirrels

00:21:19

well,

00:21:22

hello, I was beaten with Lex cream for the patent, you

00:21:24

get it,

00:21:26

hello, I am for the patent, it separates

00:21:28

Vashikov,

00:21:30

it turns out great, thank you, next and

00:21:33

hello, comrade Mr. General

00:21:36

Professor,

00:21:40

here you are, we’ll talk about it a

00:21:45

family of beer beer bar and came to

00:21:52

get impotent you wanted to say

00:21:58

patent patents don’t don’t need impotence

00:22:02

but who should they tell me about which work

00:22:08

let’s do it before Belle don’t need to feed and

00:22:11

transfer to the patent I don’t have money like

00:22:15

money

00:22:17

at all, not at all then yours is ruled by money not

00:22:20

at all that is, you want to say that you

00:22:25

will take the exam o

00:22:28

[music]

00:22:30

both of course and you will answer

00:22:33

my questions clearly and clearly and also vaguely until

00:22:37

well then sit down thank you well how do

00:22:41

you like Moscow in general Moscow is very good I

00:22:45

especially like it so go sing

00:22:48

buried under the ground this is to be

00:22:53

buried underground and buried under fellow countrymen

00:22:55

depois belt consumed not pois pois

00:23:03

sunset baths under fellow countrymen day metro metro

00:23:09

up to as if you are driving, well, okay, let's

00:23:12

start with questions on the Russian language, then

00:23:15

your professor

00:23:16

can I please have the easiest

00:23:18

questions for getting to know each other

00:23:21

why because Russian is so

00:23:25

difficult

00:23:26

if you study a lot the gloss grows greatly from it

00:23:31

and my neighbor is a bully back a b c d e learned to lose

00:23:38

consciousness

00:23:43

and such depths, I think we won’t

00:23:45

reach such depths, let’s start with the simplest one,

00:23:48

choose the correct answer go to the

00:23:51

dentist go to the dentist go to the

00:23:53

dentist and what do you want from where places and

00:24:00

let's just say go slower go to the

00:24:04

dentist

00:24:05

go to the dentist go to the dentist also

00:24:09

professor Moscow teeth 0 teach no need

00:24:12

at all I when the dentist went to the doctor this me

00:24:16

cress also gays and even no one Rinat Kura

00:24:19

said so how fast is my

00:24:22

mouth I open my own

00:24:27

calculation

00:24:28

good so I say let's give another test

00:24:32

and choose the correct answer

00:24:35

make a joke at the person make a joke under the

00:24:37

person make a joke at the person the wars

00:24:40

professor my boss is a joke with business tying

00:24:42

hands on the roads with a

00:24:46

broom and said I saw each other on the side of the road until the road

00:24:49

ends and this road turned out to be the

00:24:54

Moscow ring road

00:24:58

[ applause]

00:24:59

this is cute me the broom has erased

00:25:03

the atom where it ends you don’t even know that

00:25:07

it’s a cable seal like this on the first of April

00:25:13

ok I’m asking you a very simple question about

00:25:17

ok what does a

00:25:21

diminutive derivative of a

00:25:23

proper name mean in Russian give food

00:25:28

let’s what yes let’s ask a simple

00:25:31

question come on,

00:25:33

it was a simple question, where

00:25:36

separately, she’s just asking, I’m

00:25:41

a little Russian, I understand everything, I’m okay,

00:25:44

the sign says don’t instruct,

00:25:47

listen slowly, what does a diminutive derivative of a name actually mean in

00:25:49

Russian? a diminutive

00:25:53

derivative of a proper name,

00:25:58

comrade professor,

00:26:01

it’s beautiful you speak and you're Russian,

00:26:15

here's your name, my name is

00:26:19

Maksud, that's what your

00:26:22

diminutive calls you, your

00:26:24

mom, mom, mom, don't call me now,

00:26:29

mom, village, my

00:26:30

place, mom, now, the shores,

00:26:33

you call this

00:26:37

diminutive,

00:26:40

but like Maksudi, us this is me if sand

00:26:47

solution is forgotten added

00:26:52

max rod

00:26:54

is if cement is hammered in there

00:26:58

add

00:27:00

and if you forget to add cement and sand

00:27:02

then like maksuda ringing

00:27:16

I like this I

00:27:19

think the boss likes it too

00:27:22

I’ve already started to get tongue-tied with you so

00:27:24

good let’s make the question simpler what kind of

00:27:26

polite words you know vertov hung up

00:27:29

words I know a lot the goods cope

00:27:32

a lot I know for example for example

00:27:41

why do I actually whisper louder

00:27:44

speak so loudly these polite words

00:27:47

only

00:27:48

the shores of der you can shout and if I am

00:27:51

the police will arrest me

00:27:55

so happy in general has anyone

00:27:58

ever said thank you of course

00:28:01

the boss at the end of the month, when he

00:28:07

divides my salary in half and give me my

00:28:12

half, he always says and

00:28:16

thank you Maksud for having you, he does

00:28:20

n’t ask, but when he says

00:28:29

thank him for answering, I serve the

00:28:33

city sewer, so let’s

00:28:40

get out of the sewer and onto the ground

00:28:41

Let's go through history, you know who

00:28:43

Minin and Pozharsky are and how Minin collects

00:28:49

everything prophetic Oleg

00:29:10

Oleg things are collected collected what kind of Oleg

00:29:17

on Pozharsky is

00:29:23

another question who is Emelyan Pugachev

00:29:27

Pugachev about this is the husband Alla Borisovna

00:29:36

he was born in 1742

00:29:40

this is their first husband and someone until the last one

00:29:47

and the last one is not yet rejoice

00:29:51

God bless her

00:30:00

this is our love caries essence board you are

00:30:03

very much in literature

00:30:04

and what kind of Russian folk tales do you know

00:30:07

fairy tale I love love cattle your

00:30:11

professor I love that kind of frost frost to

00:30:14

I don’t like why because when it

00:30:21

turns frosty it’s very difficult but we have ice by night

00:30:28

[applause]

00:30:33

I don’t understand the logic I’m in Russian

00:30:37

zyxel we have a strong husband’s tongue in Schalke and

00:30:40

why doesn’t the boat drown out the boat with a crowbar Lena

00:30:51

wait then your professor doesn’t like me

00:30:55

frost old woman with a broom someone-o-o it’s a woman

00:31:03

very angry 0 and a messenger to the herd finally

00:31:06

right fairytale hero right well

00:31:08

for the role of senior janitor wife dad

00:31:17

means fairy tales you don’t know mine either I know

00:31:20

fairy tales I know that your professor boss at

00:31:23

the end of the year always tells us such

00:31:26

a fairy tale

00:31:29

that he tells you about a laptop in

00:31:31

our kingdom in our state and

00:31:34

soon there will be a new year and I will give you all figs of

00:31:40

exceptions the field of your salaries so that

00:31:49

everyone lives happily ever after and dies on the

00:31:53

same day, which means you haven’t answered a

00:32:03

single question for us protection and it’s me but you

00:32:09

will receive a patent a patent has been received and we

00:32:16

can’t go out and get a patent, yes, yes, for everything,

00:32:23

because without being rude in appearance,

00:32:31

because Hitler Wernitsa Order big bowl

00:32:33

glad Vakhtanga salon all clear beads that’s

00:32:36

so

00:32:44

good,

00:32:45

you’re also ours,

00:32:49

we migrant workers should help tubes

00:33:00

[applause]

00:33:11

[music]

00:33:22

how always in our show we are looking for a new 1

00:33:28

rub

00:33:30

drum juggler Konstantin Kulik

00:33:33

[applause]

00:33:36

[music]

00:33:39

[applause]

00:33:46

[music]

00:33:55

[music]

00:34:05

[music]

00:34:20

[music]

00:34:29

[applause]

00:34:32

[music]

00:34:35

[applause]

00:34:40

[music]

00:35:38

[applause]

00:35:58

[applause]

00:36:41

[music]

00:36:51

[applause] [

00:37:02

applause]

00:37:09

[music] [

00:37:18

applause]

00:37:22

[music] [applause

00:37:25

] [

00:37:27

music] [

00:37:28

applause]

00:37:39

[music]

00:38:07

a

00:38:09

[applause] [applause] [applause

00:38:49

]

00:38:51

[music]

00:38:56

[music]

00:39:09

[ applause]

00:39:19

[music]

00:39:20

[applause]

00:39:21

[music]

00:39:26

[applause]

00:39:34

two masters,

00:39:38

well done,

00:39:51

why are you watching me and we are

00:39:55

familiar with arthritis poisoning no

00:40:05

Semyon Timofeich not crying and not

00:40:17

[music]

00:40:21

citizen investigator

00:40:25

no why are you looking at me so intently

00:40:29

look, tell me honestly, you are having an affair

00:40:35

with my wife

00:40:39

light and

00:40:42

no

00:40:46

with Vika no faith andron

00:40:55

no nazir oika bibula and vny

00:41:02

no

00:41:05

sanatorium

00:41:11

[applause]

00:41:12

no with him

00:41:15

and his wife is mine

00:41:21

she is such a blonde blonde and

00:41:24

not a brunette and a

00:41:30

redhead no gray-haired then I don’t know, but think

00:41:42

about it, think about it, she’s also wearing such a

00:41:48

short T-shirt, it also

00:41:50

says second hand in gold letters on her chest,

00:41:55

she doesn’t have such beacons, she doesn’t have a neckline, the skirt is like this with a

00:41:59

large neckline and the neckline

00:42:01

ends here, no, it doesn’t reach this place,

00:42:05

maybe then the cut was snatched

00:42:13

whole I checked

00:42:16

and what size is she 2 no 3 no 4 not

00:42:28

her like me 52

00:42:34

but she is so tall and slender yes no and

00:42:42

not tall and thick

00:42:46

no ninety-sixty-ninety no 60

00:42:54

90 60

00:42:59

no

00:43:01

48 5313

00:43:06

not her then I'm sorry, I don't know,

00:43:09

wait, wait, I ask you to

00:43:11

think again, I was sure it was you,

00:43:16

okay, it's not, it can't be, it looks

00:43:25

like it, but it's not her, Anatoly,

00:43:38

just a friend, tell me, can you

00:43:43

look at everyone, please, please, please,

00:43:51

please, it's still too much

00:43:56

no unfortunately

00:44:03

no more sorry I can’t help you in any way

00:44:06

she’s sorry I really liked you

00:44:10

right before the hospital sorry sorry for

00:44:15

even 50 men asked

00:44:19

no one needs it and why I

00:44:23

married someone like that I don’t understand

00:44:29

wait wait wait maybe it’s

00:44:32

her he

00:44:40

[applause ]

00:44:43

[music]

00:44:49

Yuri Galtsev and artists of the

00:44:51

St. Petersburg State

00:44:53

Variety Theater

00:44:54

excerpt from the performance of the cabaret bear

00:44:57

[applause]

00:45:14

[laughter]

00:45:29

[music]

00:45:39

mehri

00:45:41

nefro and mini flap

00:45:46

outside they have rick in it of a red tap 3

00:46:01

[music]

00:46:14

[music]

00:46:29

[applause]

00:46:52

and

00:46:58

[music]

00:47:10

I

00:47:11

[music]

00:47:29

[music]

00:47:41

[music]

00:48:05

[applause]

00:48:14

[music]

00:48:33

our people love everything clouds white-maned

00:48:42

horses

00:48:46

open Russian mail

00:48:51

telegram to you sign Russian

00:48:56

mail we trust the word

00:49:01

telegram but they render it

00:49:03

looks cool interesting so

00:49:06

this one is so this is this baby baby baby.

00:49:14

you'll soon become a dad

00:49:18

zpt

00:49:20

nadya fish to Vasya

00:49:25

okay I didn't understand, they probably messed up

00:49:29

something with this mail forever

00:49:31

some of his tricks no no no this is

00:49:34

our address 3 tarny dead end there are

00:49:36

four apartments there

00:49:38

then we'll figure it out let's already feel like eating

00:49:41

not even wait for the rains all

00:49:43

son this is this is also your friends

00:49:45

something

00:49:46

mantu that they are not at all in the subject with these

00:49:48

telegrams now I’m on Instagram or they’re

00:49:50

sitting the most important thing is the weather

00:49:56

and why are you looking at me like that

00:50:06

clean up the publicity, what’s with that intense

00:50:11

look and why are you hand Dad stuck it in the meat grinder for

00:50:16

you, what’s going on, but I don’t know, it’s almost

00:50:19

happening that we two need to explain what kind of

00:50:22

little baby this is.

00:50:26

let's turn on the logic, here's the son of the cabin,

00:50:30

for example, a baby doll fapsi that I'm already an

00:50:33

adult, here I'm not a baby doll, maybe

00:50:38

you're dear baby doll, you're still kidding me, come on,

00:50:40

you're also not a baby doll, two baby dolls have

00:50:44

disappeared, I'm left asking the question, I'm a

00:50:51

baby doll, otherwise, no, consider yourself a baby doll,

00:50:54

you called yourself

00:50:55

when you're on our anniversary got drunk, I

00:50:58

couldn’t lift my head up on the hill normally, it’s

00:51:03

old to stir up, well, as they say, whoever

00:51:05

remembers the old, then I’m not only your

00:51:08

voice now, I’ll tear off everything else now,

00:51:11

come on, please explain to me what kind of

00:51:14

fish this is, so tall,

00:51:19

this is your masterful trip to Gelendzhik

00:51:23

fish

00:51:26

service will help you take me fishing

00:51:28

together it hurts come on. take him,

00:51:31

teach him like a fish,

00:51:34

don’t start, I’m starting to throw it, it means

00:51:40

the old man is completely yum with his own,

00:51:42

and now the whole family should and crust

00:51:50

[music]

00:51:58

openly openly

00:52:03

hello Russian mail, you have a letter

00:52:07

about a

00:52:09

letter in pursuit of your fish from

00:52:13

Gelendzhik,

00:52:15

thank you, goods postman, what a

00:52:19

joy to bring people, this is our job,

00:52:22

Russian mail is always good news,

00:52:28

well, open it, come on, let's read, let's

00:52:34

read out loud, let our little seed hear us like

00:52:37

this, our fishing daddy, by the way,

00:52:42

letter, airmail, chains from Paris, Paris,

00:52:48

fishing in Gelendzhik for smoking herring in

00:52:52

Paris,

00:52:56

postcard Banjour, my bird, hello to you

00:53:03

from sunny Paris and

00:53:06

I miss your loving Jean-Claude

00:53:11

Jean-Claude Jean-Claude Van Damme wrote it

00:53:22

seems like this or our mother has

00:53:26

other versions

00:53:32

and you just look at me like that and what are you

00:53:37

also worried about

00:53:39

she's suspicious intonation I didn’t

00:53:41

understand who is this in our family bird

00:53:44

bird

00:53:46

let's figure out who this

00:53:48

bird is here. you're a bird,

00:53:50

he's you, why am I an adult, that means maybe

00:53:53

daddy is our bird that flew to

00:53:56

warmer climes ornithologist Khrenov I

00:54:00

don't answer stupid questions Dustin you want

00:54:02

to say that I'm a bird and what's your

00:54:05

maiden name

00:54:06

but Perepelkina and now I'm Kuritsyna

00:54:12

he's a chicken dash Kuritsyn I'm a chicken and a

00:54:16

chicken is not a bird take these don't know who

00:54:19

you are and who the

00:54:20

woodpeckers are you tired of swearing they often

00:54:23

Cossacks words in the neck you'll get and I'll

00:54:25

add you don't have to don't have to I'm a

00:54:27

chicken I'm a bird openly vita

00:54:35

you're sorry we have an incident here at the post office

00:54:39

in general A telegram from

00:54:41

Gelendzhik and postcards from Paris

00:54:43

were sent to you not now, how can I

00:54:46

say this, but a little earlier

00:54:48

the seams were coming, well, I mean, not since 1900,

00:54:52

sorry 97, now it turns out you haven’t cheated on

00:54:58

me yet, the aliens have not cheated on me, they will give you

00:55:01

under Peter the Great, Russian mail is always on

00:55:04

time, by the way you also wo

00:55:08

n’t receive a package, let your father go ahead and

00:55:10

get yours today 7

00:55:20

Russian mail

00:55:22

qq

00:55:26

well, how God, open you have lost weight a gift

00:55:30

from a Gelendzhik fish, they spotted it, and

00:55:35

maybe Claude’s father is from Paris,

00:55:37

no, really, the Dyatlov family, that’s

00:55:41

okay didn’t understand or what, well, you yourself

00:55:44

told me as a child how you

00:55:46

met in

00:55:47

1997, you met in Moscow, then

00:55:53

dad went to France to exchange experiences,

00:55:56

but he himself told you how you wrote letters to your mother

00:55:59

from Paris

00:56:00

and also wrote how you deftly

00:56:03

knock down an empty roundhouse beer can, that’s why he

00:56:07

called himself Van Damme, although for my mother you

00:56:10

were always a baby, it’s true that something

00:56:17

completely

00:56:18

fell out of my memory, well, of course it fell out, and

00:56:21

then my mother went to my grandmother in Gelendzhik,

00:56:23

where I was actually born,

00:56:26

well,

00:56:28

everyone forgot you were there,

00:56:32

how long ago was it it was coming out edge we ourselves

00:56:38

wrote to each other like this stop and the package

00:56:43

before the package I

00:56:45

remember you gave me money for the New Year,

00:56:48

well, I decided to

00:56:50

order gifts for you on the Internet, here’s the pub, this is

00:56:53

lesson 3 for you, thank you and go vema

00:56:57

oh what a wonderful piece of garbage just

00:57:02

on time 15th Russian mail me

00:57:08

time

00:57:14

dear you

00:57:16

are sitting on August 15th our

00:57:20

wedding anniversary happy new year

00:57:23

bird happy new year

00:57:28

on

00:57:31

[music]

00:57:43

[music]

00:57:47

section read Petrosyan volume 16 edition

00:57:52

8 expanded

00:57:54

idiot that's what it's called

00:58:00

idiot

00:58:07

what are you talking to yourself and saying and you're

00:58:10

standing in line, kids, oh

00:58:14

well done, you always come to me, so that the

00:58:20

next one is bolder and bolder, come on in,

00:58:28

come on in, take a seat,

00:58:35

what are you complaining about, the doctor and everyone sends me, there's

00:58:44

no boss, but I'm not allowed to,

00:58:48

why am I a real

00:58:56

yogi?

00:59:08

also a

00:59:13

pioneer rib, the thing is that it goes and

00:59:16

they don’t happen like that, it’s just going to think

00:59:19

that they are completely normal people, yes,

00:59:22

what a great fellow, but I have such a

00:59:25

rare clinical case, and not only am

00:59:30

I an idiot, I also admit it,

00:59:33

admit it, admit it, okay let's

00:59:39

do a little experiment, let's play a

00:59:41

game with you, I'll tell you words

00:59:42

and you tell me their opposite concepts,

00:59:45

for example, morning-evening day-night, you

00:59:53

understand what you're looking for, get ready, let's

00:59:58

try morning-evening day-night sister

01:00:06

brother wife is a fool,

01:00:14

my dear, you're wrong and why this is I'm

01:00:17

wrong, I know my wife well,

01:00:22

tell me, give me a

01:00:24

boost once more, like let's look, wife, I'll

01:00:26

tell you, wife, cow, or something, darling, this is

01:00:40

not about your wife, it's about

01:00:44

yours, so you don't understand, I don't understand,

01:00:50

doctor, give me a certificate, I'll go, light up,

01:00:52

let's try one more time,

01:00:54

subscribed boss give about

01:00:55

the boss

01:00:56

look here boss donkey end

01:01:03

boss cancel this

01:01:07

is the boss donkey who are the hamsters ideas

01:01:15

no it’s you people we

01:01:17

can’t do with you I

01:01:18

would like other concepts more

01:01:20

neutral for example water sushi earth

01:01:27

sky attic basement ceiling leaks

01:01:38

theme 100 where is my home the second year

01:01:42

to fix his interest. stops

01:01:46

flowing away I'm interested in the songs at the top the ceiling then at the bottom

01:01:49

that which is worse if at the top there is a

01:01:54

ceiling then at the bottom the floor the floor in the

01:02:00

retro best is now completely out

01:02:04

of place in don't tell the doctor half a liter is

01:02:08

always in place logical logical let's

01:02:15

try one more time with a booster I

01:02:17

'll talk about other concepts more

01:02:19

neutral, for example, look here

01:02:20

driver passenger seller buyer

01:02:27

doctor doesn’t accept why doesn’t he accept I do

01:02:34

n’t know I don’t know who he’s coming for the third time

01:02:37

they say there are no coupons I accepted accepted and

01:02:42

only in one and ask what the doctor the doctor

01:02:45

accepted gave in what you know best

01:02:50

and Are you rubbing alcohol all your life, you

01:02:57

know what, or you don’t say

01:02:59

the opposite of the concept and get out

01:03:02

morning-evening

01:03:07

day and night

01:03:11

white

01:03:14

black man woman and wonderfully

01:03:26

disgusting and I say bad I’ll be

01:03:36

enough I say come on bro

01:03:43

Putin on the lift

01:03:45

[applause]

01:03:48

the most a real idiot, well, doctor, I

01:03:52

told you right away, you write me a certificate,

01:03:55

I’ll go right, they said,

01:03:59

take the certificate there and so that I don’t see you again, you

01:04:05

need a certificate, you’re an idiot, but if you were smart,

01:04:12

you’d go to the subbotnik

01:04:17

[applause]

01:04:22

[music]

01:04:29

section reading Petrosyan I myself stage me,

01:04:34

after all, the overlay big john lies so

01:04:37

that people perform the audience rejoices

01:04:40

so I thought and made a section moderately,

01:04:44

mostly new numbers as you see, but

01:04:47

sometimes we use this section I

01:04:49

want to remember one of these

01:04:53

eccentric numbers of mine many years

01:04:57

ago I started this series and now I

01:05:00

have united them, look what happened

01:05:04

now, so many psychos have divorced here and the

01:05:11

university is nervous

01:05:13

than they are for seconds, just recently I was riding in

01:05:17

elevator

01:05:18

1 to me, as if they don’t smoke in the elevator, I don’t think I

01:05:22

offered you a break from the habit by the river, and I’m

01:05:27

inhaling like a leader I didn’t think about it, it will be

01:05:31

five rubles to take from you all and the

01:05:36

crazy ones are crazy to my

01:05:38

wife, I say, I’m leaving, I looked around, she’s already

01:05:40

packed my things, I’m getting ready for work,

01:05:44

the fool

01:05:46

will be with me at three o’clock in the morning, dear, my

01:05:50

head has passed

01:05:58

you by the matrimonial house,

01:06:05

I got up and walked the dog.

01:06:10

[applause]

01:06:13

under the hail, what fools, stupid,

01:06:17

how did I know that I had to take out the trash? A

01:06:23

physicist with a left-hand thread,

01:06:27

you say so, said business to

01:06:29

calm down,

01:06:35

elevate the air. I recently forgot

01:06:37

the keys to the apartment, but I don’t know where I forgot it,

01:06:40

maybe I left the folding one at home at work,

01:06:42

I went to a neighbor’s wife from work

01:06:45

wait

01:06:47

you are a thin upload a note at the door

01:06:54

I left at the neighbor's hug the whole

01:07:03

tour smart

01:07:06

now I'll calm down

01:07:12

analysis for this took a candle to a psychiatrist

01:07:18

. Close your proud eyes, I

01:07:24

closed my eyes to him and it still doesn’t

01:07:29

open, taught me a good thing

01:07:32

when it’s on fire, you’re nervous, they read 10 to 1

01:07:35

in the opposite direction, that’s the essence,

01:07:38

concentrate and calm down, I was flying on the

01:07:40

plane, we grabbed onto the briefcase,

01:07:43

hardness, and I’ll ask you for a briefcase like this

01:07:45

you grabbed me so much peace on 10 9 hijacking

01:07:50

[music]

01:07:55

everyone had a taste for evacuating me to the police

01:08:03

crazy plane or because of the flu

01:08:10

it was the case that many people began to wear masks

01:08:13

in our institutions, everyone wore masks,

01:08:16

you also had to come to the pharmacy

01:08:18

they say no, Masha, you’ve run out

01:08:21

and it will do, I took a knitted cap,

01:08:27

pulled the holes for the eyes up to my chin,

01:08:32

it will pass, I come to the bank, the

01:08:38

salary from the book is sleeping

01:08:41

to my heart, he saw me, he shouted, what are

01:08:44

your requirements for you, not everything that is

01:08:50

if it’s a magnet, but I meant my

01:08:54

salary, it’s for me brought two bags of

01:08:56

money, I looked, I think no way they will

01:09:01

increase my salary

01:09:06

[applause]

01:09:12

then the security hit me on the head, hit me with

01:09:18

a cap

01:09:26

that you are rivers of schizos

01:09:30

in our burial ground, fools are not smart,

01:09:33

crazy now calm,

01:09:37

well, I drove through a red light,

01:09:40

well, choir of the act, if such a drunken soul

01:09:43

even thought about food on the train,

01:09:46

and when I saw the traffic cop, I asked for

01:09:52

bed linen and waited for the conductor

01:09:56

to bring tea. In general, many people are now out of their minds. It’s just the mother-in-law

01:10:01

celebrating the

01:10:06

anniversary,

01:10:08

or rather, not the mother-in-law, I’ll tell you

01:10:11

how to say it, I don’t know, I’ll tell her mother’s

01:10:15

battery

01:10:18

on the mother’s side before the boss, they

01:10:22

left me for the anniversary. actually, there are a lot of flowers,

01:10:26

a lot of them,

01:10:27

well, the anniversary is over, the guests have gone home, she

01:10:30

started cleaning up, she collected all the flowers together

01:10:33

and put them on the sofa,

01:10:37

laid them out neatly, but she didn’t notice that he was sleeping on the sofa

01:10:39

and her mother’s mother, I came home, I saw her mother’s

01:11:01

mother lying on the sofa

01:11:07

we will be tormented by Mateya, his mother

01:11:12

called his relatives, he called his relatives, he told the news,

01:11:16

it’s now about a chip with a mathematician, the

01:11:20

fools ruined the holiday, the father-in-law

01:11:24

got into a fight, his mother’s mother

01:11:28

shouted, don’t touch him, and about Serezha, he called us a hundred

01:11:31

rubles dollars again, I called the relatives again, I’ll

01:11:37

tell the news, it was not confirmed, I could have

01:11:43

my faces in the plant schizophrenics

01:11:48

those rocket smart ones, he jumped out of the

01:11:52

steam room right in the snow,

01:11:54

jumped, but I didn’t think about the door on the flap latch,

01:12:02

he drummed for a whole hour while I was

01:12:05

talking to him on the phone,

01:12:07

HIV or cold,

01:12:11

not saving the killer, then I had to

01:12:15

rub him with alcohol, they

01:12:17

rubbed him all up, he lit a cigarette, asked me to

01:12:22

light Peterhof

01:12:27

[music]

01:12:31

I found out that alcohol is burning, well, who is it anyway,

01:12:39

crazy in Kiev, all of

01:12:43

our neighbors are so crazy, horror, who

01:12:47

got a skull sochka, who got

01:12:50

Khomichenko, who got a cat, a dog, a lizard,

01:12:55

Yasopp, don’t waste time on trifles, immediately started a daredevil

01:13:01

ludovika,

01:13:02

I don’t know, you won’t understand there, a gut is a gut,

01:13:07

well, he called him Galina Petrovna,

01:13:11

well, in honor of her mother and mother and because the

01:13:17

creeping creature, the

01:13:20

first blow was looking for where to eat something, crawled

01:13:25

into the toilet and swam away,

01:13:32

they told me later how on the floor

01:13:34

below the neighbor, Baba Zina,

01:13:41

went to the toilet

01:13:47

and what was her surprise

01:13:51

when she saw a huge thing

01:13:56

sticking out of the water is capable of starting to

01:14:00

slowly rise from the stores of the report

01:14:05

back to the classroom

01:14:07

and waited for it to appear maybe with silicone

01:14:16

[applause]

01:14:18

and the thing opened its mouth,

01:14:20

hissed the woman 17, they were taking the psychiatric hospital now

01:14:25

the neighbors without an ax to the toilet are not kugi

01:14:29

oh yes, didn’t you find them with this ax

01:14:33

after me and are chasing degrees we are little,

01:14:38

at our work, everyone was also crazy, the

01:14:41

boss had this anniversary, everyone was freaking out about what to

01:14:45

give, what to give, they turned to me

01:14:48

between against and then 30,000 rubles

01:14:50

they said they came up with a shan so

01:14:55

that the puck would be stunned for life, I

01:15:00

came up with the idea and ordered a stripper for his office, the

01:15:05

boss for life I was stunned when I saw

01:15:08

that it was his wife

01:15:12

[applause]

01:15:15

the character and the charade spoils your nerves but

01:15:18

I started making a birthday cake but

01:15:21

wrote a birthday on it, sorry the

01:15:24

year of her birth today is the year between

01:15:29

them dash faq fight so

01:15:35

normal everyone has become they are for them

01:15:38

normal people should suffer that's what

01:15:49

[music]

01:15:57

[applause]

01:16:12

[music] do

01:16:17

n't you think, dear friends, that

01:16:20

Petrosyan's show is not enough Petrosyan,

01:16:23

it would be good if there were more than one

01:16:26

crucian carp for say 2 Petrosyans,

01:16:28

or even better 3 Petrosyans, then it would

01:16:31

be a real Petrosyan show and we can

01:16:33

do this, get to know

01:16:35

Sos Petrosyan, Victoria Petrosyan and

01:16:38

with them

01:16:39

Evgeny Petrosyan, hello, it’s impossible to

01:16:45

fool around with you a little, but of course on

01:16:48

todos the price is here in the evening they’re playing pranks [applause

01:16:51

]

01:17:02

[music]

01:17:05

I smiled

01:17:07

not bad there

01:17:08

[applause]

01:17:13

very nice jacket

01:17:19

we’ll have Evgeniy

01:17:21

Vaganovich

01:17:22

we have it to take it off you I

01:17:26

will ask you the novel will fall into your pocket and

01:17:30

such a slight movement it’s

01:17:33

very simple

01:17:36

[music]

01:17:47

now a magic wand

01:17:50

[music]

01:17:58

[music]

01:18:00

[applause]

01:18:06

[music]

01:18:10

you

01:18:14

and

01:18:15

[music]

01:18:25

many wanted to drown me out but they

01:18:27

can’t do it

01:18:28

[music]

01:18:31

now let’s see how beautiful we are

01:18:34

look in this mirror

01:18:40

and

01:18:42

[music]

01:18:45

1 answer

01:18:50

let’s see what’s in our pockets

01:18:53

[music]

01:18:54

[applause]

01:19:00

yes

01:19:03

[music]

01:19:10

[music]

01:19:17

on

01:19:18

[music]

01:19:30

back back

01:19:33

only

01:19:37

[music] ]

01:19:49

[music]

01:19:52

[applause]

01:20:02

[applause]

01:20:04

rock

01:20:05

they are not

01:20:06

me.

01:20:09

yes

01:20:11

[applause]

01:20:16

the Spaniards spared

01:20:23

attention concentrate

01:20:32

little

01:20:34

[applause]

01:20:37

[music]

01:20:44

and the last one

01:20:46

[applause]

01:21:00

[music]

01:21:03

on the bed

01:21:05

[applause]

01:21:19

101 us fractions of moments how do you like

01:21:22

Victoria’s dress great model just a second

01:21:27

but so

01:21:34

[music]

01:21:38

[applause]

01:21:48

[ applause]

01:21:53

thank you for

01:21:56

[applause]

01:21:59

in our show we try to present

01:22:02

only new numbers and even if an artist

01:22:04

performs a monologue, most often it is a

01:22:07

completely new monologue Honored Artist of

01:22:11

Russia Karen Avanesyan

01:22:14

[applause]

01:22:15

[music]

01:22:18

[applause]

01:22:24

my wife is an extraordinary woman

01:22:29

all normal people, when they wake up,

01:22:31

open their eyes, my wife opens her mouth

01:22:37

and immediately boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo

01:22:39

boo and doesn’t stop talking until she falls asleep and

01:22:43

well, during the day it makes me boo boo boo boo boo I

01:22:46

rest at work in the evening just went to

01:22:49

bed she's in my ear wah wah wah neighbor

01:22:53

furs everyone he he he and I'm wearing a coat in the winter

01:22:58

well me and in response blah blah blah there's no money for a fur coat

01:23:03

sometimes it's chains

01:23:10

and the night turns into some kind of

01:23:12

nightmare that's how Yesterday I just

01:23:15

got drunk, my wife is pushing me in the side, because

01:23:18

you’re sleeping, Yagra, I’m

01:23:20

sleeping, so they say women are

01:23:25

either smart or beautiful, I’m like a city and

01:23:33

two in one

01:23:38

neither this nor that to the

01:23:41

toes in any sense - thoughts neither this nor

01:23:44

that for I don’t feel sorry for you if you want, I’ll buy

01:23:47

you a

01:23:48

whole bunch of gifts for your entire salary, you don’t need to give it, you’ve

01:23:52

already bought a

01:23:54

whole bunch of clothespins for your entire salary in the store, all for 35,

01:23:57

and for the New Year some kind of

01:24:00

gift for my mother and I, I’ll take out such a gift I

01:24:02

organized for you a round the world

01:24:05

trip on a

01:24:07

round the world trip in economy class

01:24:11

around the globe and there's frying by

01:24:16

the way my husband gave me an awesome outfit with an

01:24:19

open bottom

01:24:24

I'm a pear with an open kitchen apron that's

01:24:29

just an outfit with an open bottom I'll give this fashionable

01:24:36

dress for evening receptions

01:24:38

I wonder what kind of reception Angelka will wear in it I'm a

01:24:41

coward with my butt open, she's going

01:24:46

to see a doctor, I'm going to give

01:24:48

injections, I'm not undressing, I'm modestly cut out

01:24:55

on the back, not like the lady you remember sitting in

01:24:57

front of us in the theater, I say, of course I

01:24:59

remember, I'm still dreaming,

01:25:07

and the modest one took me out with a mole on my buttocks

01:25:12

and stomach, here's the stairs, the tag, made in

01:25:16

Marseilles then Marseille, and then where am I lying, well,

01:25:20

look at the root of Marseille,

01:25:22

the root of Mars means Marseille is on

01:25:25

Mars, it looks like you’ll bring me exactly

01:25:28

the same yoga dress, what are you crazy about, how am

01:25:31

I going to get there,

01:25:32

wife Begum, computers, listen, they’re

01:25:34

offering to fly to Mars in just 500

01:25:37

rubles I’ll tell you I’m reading 3 smoothly and you’re on

01:25:44

Mars

01:25:45

and suddenly bam on the whole screen

01:25:49

you want to become Martynov there in the zone right

01:25:51

now for pensioners discounts

01:25:55

wife right away the hell everything will be mom let the

01:25:58

pension Arkasha get ready for max he

01:26:00

promised me

01:26:02

a surprise from there to bring your mother-in-law Dick your Arkasha

01:26:05

brought surprise yourself, a woman,

01:26:07

someone's bra in a suitcase and immediately

01:26:11

started snoring,

01:26:12

well, in general, I come to the Martian office

01:26:16

and tell them how to become a Mars, there they are, like a

01:26:19

parachute jump with a beer advertisement, a

01:26:21

Martian goat and you put the Mortons there,

01:26:26

I’m cooking, and they’ll show this jump on TV,

01:26:31

of course they will definitely

01:26:34

show in the disaster program of the week the

01:26:39

parachute

01:26:41

is normal, reliable, they are this

01:26:44

super powder, such parachutes do not

01:26:47

open immediately after hitting the

01:26:50

ground, but the Zeppelin parachute flew into me;

01:27:03

I’m

01:27:07

lying a million rubles or dollars, they’ve had a million

01:27:11

views on YouTube for a year and they’re talking about

01:27:17

three, you pull the ring and a

01:27:20

parachute with an advertisement opens and you pick me out of

01:27:24

the cornfield, well, I immediately pulled the ring

01:27:27

right there they have a parachute,

01:27:31

it’s good that the Christmas trees softened the blow,

01:27:34

I rolled into the bear's den and there the bear

01:27:36

woke up with its paws reaching out to me, as soon as I

01:27:39

scream, help

01:27:41

me out of fear, my name is gone, my breath stole and

01:27:44

instead of screaming, grunting, the bear went to the

01:27:48

board with its paw to the side and said in the voice of my wife,

01:27:51

stop snoring, I opened my eyes, I saw

01:28:00

the wife next to God pushing the short

01:28:03

bear in the den with bats Wake you up, turn on your

01:28:06

side and I was so pleased that my wife was next to

01:28:09

them, the bear turned around, I didn’t hug her,

01:28:14

grief dear, you will definitely have a fur coat and a new

01:28:19

evening dress because a real

01:28:22

man for his beloved woman is not

01:28:24

like a dress, see ansa, he

01:28:26

will get a star from the sky and not only in a

01:28:31

dream

01:28:32

[applause] a

01:28:45

strange woman, similar to the bird of her homeland,

01:28:52

red wings who have laid down the joy of flight,

01:28:57

who has forgotten

01:28:58

[music]

01:28:59

because this is childhood a powerful part yes

01:29:04

hello and you come to us yes just

01:29:07

please those who like to drink and lie

01:29:09

on the sofa please do not suggest

01:29:11

well what kind of husband you are interested

01:29:15

in me, I need him to take out the trash, get married,

01:29:17

make an iron, read homework for us schoolchildren, do

01:29:19

n’t give poetry, give flowers and also

01:29:22

read the elements of feet, enough, I see you are

01:29:25

romantic, you especially need a husband before and

01:29:29

what are there, sit down, the working

01:29:33

day is in full swing and now the first husband comes out

01:29:40

[ applause]

01:29:42

[music]

01:29:43

well, hello, stranger, hello, hello,

01:29:52

stranger, hello, fate brought us together for an hour,

01:29:56

so we usually pay after

01:29:59

an hour, but it’s better to pay in advance

01:30:02

that I’m working today, start by taking out

01:30:05

the trash, start getting acquainted with the trash, this is the

01:30:08

client’s wish, the wife

01:30:12

woke up late, why didn’t my husband she’s walking

01:30:15

and her husband just pulled

01:30:20

the garbage chute with a bucket, you’ll say about not volunteering

01:30:24

etiquette and personal experience to

01:30:28

go over repairing the iron,

01:30:31

my uncle had the most honest rules,

01:30:35

having started repairing irons without light, the house on

01:30:39

gold left you want, I’m also ready, you won’t

01:30:44

say communication with the child, we can

01:30:47

give him what’s better in the world there are more than 9 and 0 I

01:30:51

’ll tell you not jokingly

01:30:52

love the Puerto girl he’s more interesting than he

01:31:01

eats dew the nectar of magic lines

01:31:05

drinks but sometimes he also drinks sausage listen

01:31:12

make a sandwich tell me do you

01:31:17

even love anyone besides yourself I love

01:31:21

love maybe there’s

01:31:24

not a cold wind in your soul blew it out,

01:31:26

but don’t let it bother you anymore,

01:31:31

and your hour has passed, pay me, I’ll go, well,

01:31:36

let’s take it for me, this is

01:31:39

too sublime for me, you should do something simpler, he’s

01:31:41

energetic, he’s a fool, and that

01:31:46

is, you wanted that he was energetic and I’m

01:31:48

glad I should eat you warn

01:31:50

this is an exclusive option, he is very

01:31:53

expensive for himself, we keep it dear, please

01:32:00

[music]

01:32:07

[music]

01:32:14

thank you, be careful, yes, oh, like a rock in the form of a

01:32:20

bear, first work, work has already begun, the udder of

01:32:25

your quarrels is not a problem, I will give

01:32:29

you new trash cans

01:32:32

Lada Priora on I will give you a new iron

01:32:38

I will give you a new son I will now give you

01:32:43

all the flowers in the world only fight

01:32:46

cubase whom I

01:32:47

will buy a January whale I will give you the most

01:32:52

expensive restaurant or sides I will buy

01:32:56

you a kitchen

01:33:02

so that over a woman men’s black eyes

01:33:06

are not in an apartment or a car you can’t take them

01:33:12

black raven the

01:33:21

color with our money black helps us a lot

01:33:28

and it doesn’t matter in the morning the eyes of

01:33:33

steam are needed here

01:33:34

-

01:33:37

I live in my husband’s area and soon

01:33:42

it will be she who turns shorts

01:33:47

so that they look at me greedy

01:33:50

[music]

01:33:56

[applause]

01:34:04

[music]

01:34:09

restaurant as soon as you pay for,

01:34:18

of course, very expensive champagne for me

01:34:28

except new

01:34:29

and save a little more champagne, only

01:34:34

I will call you more economically than you

01:34:41

[applause]

01:34:44

[music]

01:34:45

tell me, but don’t you really have a normal

01:34:47

husband, well, without extremes,

01:34:51

every girl knows what she wants, she

01:34:54

never knows what and wants what you

01:34:57

want, holiday girl,

01:35:06

holiday husband

01:35:22

lift your eyes, go to the length and the sky,

01:35:29

wonder what you

01:35:31

dreamed of and Niro

01:35:34

songs you have a mix if you weren’t there for a

01:35:41

long time, you waited and now it’s come,

01:35:47

wait, life is a masterful hour, I love you.

01:35:54

[applause]

01:35:57

6 I

01:35:59

love

01:36:05

make here

01:36:09

embroidered

01:36:11

andI’ll sing

01:36:12

[music]

01:36:16

because

01:36:17

I’m talking about everything about this

01:36:19

[applause]

01:36:22

Erica

01:36:23

you’ll get a whole house

01:36:28

houses

01:36:29

both chevignon

01:36:32

[music]

01:36:34

three on a stake

01:36:36

here

01:36:41

[music]

01:37:10

[applause]

01:37:15

[music]

01:37:25

I also call nicknames I can embroider, not all of it, I

01:37:38

drank some water during the day, sit, sit quietly,

01:37:43

sit down,

01:37:46

come on

01:37:47

[music]

01:37:57

[music]

01:37:59

good luck, hello, this agency is a

01:38:03

husband for an hour, so definitely a wife for an hour, we

01:38:07

don’t have a wife for an hour, well, you see, the thing is that my wife

01:38:11

left me and the children with I didn’t want to take it with me,

01:38:15

so I’m left alone on the itil, any iron

01:38:19

can be repaired muse for a ruble, I can take it out, I

01:38:21

cook, I make good money, I have a decent

01:38:24

apartment, I’m big in the center, it’s empty,

01:38:27

somehow there’s a yacht in there, there’s no one to go for a ride

01:38:32

[music]

01:38:42

it’s you, it can’t be

01:38:46

[ music]

01:38:50

[applause]

01:38:54

[music]

01:39:02

[applause]

01:39:05

don’t look there don’t need it,

01:39:11

mediocrity people

01:39:15

nobody needs an artist for an hour

01:39:22

[music]

01:39:26

Mikhail Belov

01:39:31

bye Yevgeny Petrosyan and everyone, everyone, everyone

01:39:35

who adorned you with blood, everyone, everyone, everyone who

01:39:39

this evening he was in the mood with us,

01:39:42

he entertained us and joked, and he also

01:39:45

spoke with foam and wore decorations, and now

01:39:50

Evgeny Petrosyan is packing everything, everything, everything,

01:39:54

jokes, what is there, everything, all all these boards

01:39:57

always hits me, I say goodbye to the cars on the

01:39:59

other, see you food

01:40:04

[music]

Description:

Петросян-Шоу. 16-й выпуск (2017) Оформите подписку канала - https://www.youtube.com/user/PetrosyanLive?sub_confirmation=1 Плэйлист Большой бенефис - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3v1go9lDgZYkA_PKFKFo561 Плэйлист Большой бенефис: Миниатюры - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3sPYnzSGFsxZARsTekL9G4X Плэйлист "Страсти-мордасти" - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3tu85NzlzieiTl7JeCOLTVD Плэйлист Дураки мы все - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLnFzaYY29g3sFMQcDbh1eysWs6mzxqxdE

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