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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
Hello, my dear viewers,00:00:03
Olga Demchuk is with you, a researcher of the00:00:04
inner world of personality, today we00:00:07
will talk with you about the fear of exposure,00:00:09
the fear of expressing oneself, these two fears00:00:12
grow from the same place and we will try00:00:14
to understand why each of us has00:00:19
something to hold back,00:00:21
undoubtedly Each of us can be00:00:24
so overwhelmed emotions that if00:00:27
we begin to show everything that we feel,00:00:30
then there00:00:31
will be scorched earth near us We will00:00:34
ruin our reputation, we will stay for days, and00:00:37
so on and so on, and this is00:00:40
the problem that people restrain themselves only00:00:41
because of fear, not because they00:00:44
are guided by what -moral00:00:46
principles understanding the consequences of not00:00:49
choosing such behavior in them there is00:00:52
only fear Oh God there will be punishment either from00:00:55
others or from oneself that is, the actual00:00:59
person remains an animal in a circus00:01:01
trained they are trying to understand themselves00:01:04
not trying to understand the cause of their own00:01:06
emotions containment and control00:01:08
containment and control Let's00:01:11
Let’s imagine that we have something to restrain, and00:01:15
that which is00:01:16
restrained can really00:01:19
cause00:01:20
trouble, when something happens, when the00:01:24
police stop fulfilling their function,00:01:27
or, on the contrary, the police become00:01:30
bandits, then this00:01:34
chaos and permissiveness sets in, then those people00:01:37
who are restrained only by fear00:01:39
cease to be restrained, cease to be restrained00:01:42
to hold back begins to rob to fight00:01:44
to kill and so on and so on00:01:47
and for individuals in whom there are many Beasts in00:01:52
whom there are many children, all are permitted00:01:55
and for example the police are needed and fear of00:01:59
punishment is needed and when a person who is restrained00:02:03
will feel like a victim, they do00:02:08
n’t allow me to live freely, this is not00:02:11
they give Freedom they don’t give Freedom there is a00:02:14
feeling of constant being locked in; an00:02:17
adult00:02:19
is someone who has evolved to the level where I00:02:24
can take care of others where I can00:02:27
think in cause-and-effect relationships00:02:30
will understand the need to restrain00:02:34
his emotions his effects00:02:37
self-esteem and he does not00:02:40
want to talk like an animal with bared fangs00:02:44
with loved ones, for example,00:02:48
in fact, you and I have a cage, we have them00:02:53
restrained there. But it will depend on the angle of view00:02:57
how we perceive it as a00:03:00
necessity, understanding the necessity,00:03:04
understanding that this allows us to00:03:07
communicate in a civilized manner. And even if00:03:09
I have aggression regarding my00:03:11
opponent, then I understand that this is00:03:14
something subjective of mine and00:03:17
processes aggression, I go out into the field of00:03:20
ideas and try to be civilized, not00:03:25
because I am being judged, but because it is00:03:27
my choice. I want to be a smart,00:03:29
civilized adult,00:03:33
but this cage can be looked at as a00:03:38
place where I was locked up, I endure it all the time00:03:40
not only do I endure,00:03:43
I also perceive this patience as a sacrifice not00:03:46
of myself, many people are sure that if they00:03:48
do not behave00:03:50
everything is permissible, then they are sacrificing themselves,00:03:55
these people have not yet acquired another as a00:03:57
value plant about society, caring about00:04:01
space, caring for other people they00:04:04
have only his desire for all00:04:07
permissions and his restraint is00:04:11
actually the fear of exposure, it00:04:13
stems from this fear of00:04:16
punishment. That is, if I show00:04:22
myself00:04:24
the way I want,00:04:27
then00:04:29
no one will be left around,00:04:34
this fear of exposure always comes00:04:36
with a00:04:38
broken contact with myself00:04:43
and then we are masters00:04:47
while a person is in the state of a00:04:51
victim and is in the state of a child00:04:54
when dancing, it is pretentious,00:04:57
that is,00:05:00
even if00:05:01
we restrain the effect, he will perceive it as00:05:06
suffering00:05:07
as something for which others owe him,00:05:13
for an adult, restraint is an00:05:18
understandable, logical necessity.00:05:22
He says Yes. This allows us to00:05:25
develop the implementation for the child of00:05:28
restraint. this is confinement, this is00:05:32
captivity00:05:34
and this feeling of being in prison,00:05:42
each of us needs a social image in00:05:46
which we appear among people at home,00:05:49
we can scratch ourselves00:05:52
shaggy with bells, but we00:05:56
understand that Society imposes00:05:59
certain things on us00:06:01
and the00:06:04
further our social image is from the real Self,00:06:07
the more in it is a pretense of00:06:09
artificiality,00:06:11
unnaturalness, the more control will be needed,00:06:14
the greater will be the fear of00:06:16
exposure and the less there will be00:06:17
any manifestation of00:06:20
each of us had some problems in00:06:24
childhood, believe me, no, for people from00:06:26
cloudless childhoods, those whose even00:06:28
it was Cloudless is still a child00:06:30
he is strives for permissiveness, we00:06:34
still have little praise, little attention, and so00:06:36
on and so on, even if the parents are00:06:38
quite protective,00:06:42
they have not taught the child to think, he00:06:46
will still have the impression that he has a00:06:48
huge number of traumas and more in00:06:52
this childhood,00:06:54
so00:06:55
we have something to restrain a beast00:06:59
that strives all the time for00:07:01
dominance, that perceives00:07:03
others as competitors,00:07:05
that00:07:07
perceives others as those who have already00:07:11
squeezed out He has some kind of territory and00:07:14
paying attention to others as if00:07:17
attention was stolen from me, which should00:07:19
belong to us, in fact, we have00:07:23
something to restrain But this holding back can00:07:26
be like a00:07:29
reluctance to see what I’m holding back00:07:33
and twisting the reality of my brain So00:07:37
you come up with this image for yourself and00:07:39
start believing with it That is, everything that00:07:44
you don’t like about yourself you simply don’t00:07:46
notice And even if it’s somehow00:07:50
exposed in your behavior00:07:52
you give a huge number of reasons00:07:55
why it was all logical, or you00:07:58
constantly blame others00:08:02
instead of looking for an acceptable00:08:05
form for your manifestation, a person00:08:08
always plays a role.00:08:11
Let’s take a closer look at what00:08:13
it is00:08:17
actually in order00:08:21
not to play a role,00:08:23
but00:08:26
a person needs to manifest himself objectively00:08:29
perception for many00:08:32
was said with their clients with the group00:08:35
to be real yourself means to be00:08:38
some kind of wild beast,00:08:40
that is, not to restrain yourself, it is to fight, to00:08:43
conflict, to00:08:44
dump everything, to express everything, to express, to00:08:47
dominate, to close your mouth, says,00:08:50
only I will speak, that is, such a00:08:53
strange primitive idea as00:08:56
if00:08:57
Manifest yourself cannot be reasonably00:09:02
appropriate when you00:09:06
separate your subjectivity is charged with00:09:10
common sense when you understand that00:09:12
now Indeed this is inappropriate00:09:14
you are really wrong00:09:18
you are a00:09:20
sane person who can00:09:22
already objectively understand what is happening00:09:25
I hope among my viewers there are no those00:09:28
who believe that there is no objective00:09:30
subjective everything is subjective00:09:35
because00:09:37
the facts00:09:39
and many people00:09:43
want to give up their subjectivity precisely because they00:09:45
can wave a magic wand there like a Fairy,00:09:47
she can designate any people as bad00:09:49
as good. But calling this phenomenon00:09:52
such I understand that it’s hard00:09:54
to give up this if there is no objectivity,00:09:57
then there is fear of exposure and fear00:10:00
Showing yourself00:10:03
will make this beast in a cage a prisoner00:10:06
forever,00:10:07
so we need objectivity precisely00:10:09
as an opportunity not to be afraid of exposure00:10:13
as an opportunity Showing yourself to be a00:10:16
Personality,00:10:19
original, unique, how people00:10:23
twist reality, I’m not angry, I was00:10:26
driven to it, this is a favorite topic, that is,00:10:29
a person cannot actually understand what he is now00:10:34
raging here cruel00:10:36
primitive embittered toxic he00:10:40
always wants to find a reason for the00:10:43
excuse that00:10:45
others will write out you can be00:10:50
I don’t envy these animals anything to show off00:10:56
I don’t want to dominate00:10:58
you say that I want to dominate I don’t00:11:01
want to I really know what’s00:11:03
best for you00:11:05
and this there is for each of us I for myself Although a00:11:10
person who has been working on himself for many years00:11:13
also notices this like fleas00:11:17
But here, too, we must treat00:11:20
this as normal Even if you are00:11:22
lying to yourself about something Even if you00:11:26
cannot lie in the moment stop00:11:28
okay Well then if you don’t admit00:11:31
the truth you won’t have an objective perception of00:11:32
yourself, you won’t be able to understand who00:11:37
you are or what’s happening to you and there will be00:11:38
eternal fear of exposure.00:11:41
I don’t want admiration,00:11:46
you can treat me normally, that00:11:49
is, a person considers it normal00:11:52
when with him always agrees with him,00:11:55
admires him, likes all his actions, and00:11:57
so on.00:12:00
I don’t want it in my opinion. I just want it to00:12:02
be right and good for me when00:12:04
he says someone is right and good. He00:12:07
says How good and right.00:12:11
That is, in fact, when we look at00:12:15
what happens in an invented image00:12:18
we have to control ourselves all the time00:12:22
which you didn’t understand we don’t understand we don’t00:12:26
know we don’t want to control00:12:29
others00:12:31
because they will be whistleblowers all the time00:12:33
if I control myself I don’t00:12:39
accept myself I control00:12:41
suppressing I force then I will be all the time00:12:44
check differently I have already00:12:46
been exposed, no, I didn’t suspect anything00:12:49
And believe me, only sleeping people can not notice anger,00:12:53
and even if you00:12:57
smile, this evil is readable But if you00:13:00
haven’t known yourself objectively, you can00:13:03
assign your anger to someone else, so what is00:13:06
needed here is an objective00:13:10
perception of yourself If it always00:13:11
seems to you that others are angry, you feel it,00:13:13
it means you’re definitely making it up. So, given by the00:13:18
Lord, the fear of exposure is an image in00:13:22
which you are suppressed all the time in which00:13:24
you do not recognize your emotions. You are00:13:26
constantly repressing them, squeezing them out, and this00:13:30
image demonstrated all the time will be00:13:33
formal, banal, and even I I think you all00:13:37
know this feeling of fear when you00:13:41
jump out into this doll00:13:43
format into this mannequin image where you00:13:48
cannot reach the depths of memory00:13:50
you become primitive people When they00:13:53
think in it they always speak in00:13:55
terms quotes great people all the00:13:58
time they want to00:14:02
produce some kind of much like one00:14:05
girl wrote, I studied better, better,00:14:08
this is an argument, I need to study better, but it’s00:14:15
impossible to learn to think independently and to think independently until it’s too00:14:17
late for me, until the process is removed from the00:14:20
unconscious consciousness,00:14:22
until I call a00:14:24
spade a spade And others in in this00:14:27
artificial image, they are always enemies,00:14:30
competitors, auditors, they are always00:14:31
whistleblowers. That is, in fact, in this00:14:34
image, the position is so precarious that you00:14:36
really get tired in it because00:14:39
you control yourself, you control others.00:14:42
And it’s all like in a vice,00:14:49
this fatigue can be present in a00:14:54
person by itself because00:14:56
Understanding the Truth to yourself, it00:15:02
allows you to think00:15:05
in depth and breadth,00:15:08
and if you try to prove that you are right00:15:11
all the time you go in circles, there are videos on the00:15:14
channel about this. Now you need to deal with00:15:18
this crystal image with this00:15:21
invented image that has nothing to do00:15:23
with yourself,00:15:29
the fear of being exposed is necessary00:15:31
first turn to appropriate to myself I am afraid00:15:34
to expose myself to myself Why00:15:35
Because I will punish myself That is,00:15:38
in fact, as an individual, in order to00:15:41
enter into an objective understanding of Who he00:15:44
is, he00:15:47
first of all needs to change his00:15:50
attitude towards himself, not to spread rot on himself, not to00:15:52
destroy himself for the shortcomings found,00:15:56
but to admit them00:16:00
and try to understand How can I00:16:04
evolve How can I get out00:16:06
of a being locked in,00:16:10
fixated on myself,00:16:12
restraining aggression, not understanding00:16:15
who I don’t understand Also, how the world works into a00:16:18
person who understands why00:16:22
I have certain emotions Why did a person00:16:25
do this,00:16:27
where do I have problems? places to which00:16:31
I crap, I react sharply if00:16:34
emotions are raging, if there is a lot of anger and a lot of00:16:38
hatred towards other people and competitors are not enemies.00:16:40
This suggests that the beast00:16:42
still00:16:44
occupies a greater share in the personality;00:16:50
objective perception of oneself makes it00:16:53
possible,00:16:55
at a minimum, not to feel like a victim00:16:58
and not to be afraid revelations Because you00:17:01
know what you are like I love to talk00:17:04
If they say the truth about me Then why00:17:06
be offended If they say something about me that what00:17:09
What upsets you is00:17:11
this objective understanding of yourself00:17:14
makes it possible to stand tightly on00:17:17
reality and then there is no such fear of00:17:21
exposure, fear of showing yourself you00:17:24
you understand00:17:26
where00:17:29
in which places more awareness is needed.00:17:32
And then it’s not control, it’s awareness00:17:35
and processing of one’s own emotions at the00:17:38
moment they appear inside, they’re00:17:40
holding back and denying that these00:17:43
emotions appeared when a person doesn’t00:17:47
recognize his reality,00:17:51
then he’s00:17:54
not predictable for himself and there’s this fear00:17:57
of exposure Also because I don’t understand00:18:00
how I can react to this and even00:18:03
when I react communication you understand that it00:18:05
was00:18:09
about finding a form about finding a form00:18:14
about the ability to understand we will00:18:16
talk at the webinar next Saturday00:18:18
and perhaps about the form of expressing oneself I00:18:23
will make an additional video00:18:26
So ladies and gentlemen, let's summarize So00:18:30
there are00:18:32
real people with their problems with their00:18:35
traumas with their delusions with00:18:38
their subjectivity,00:18:42
this image that I look at without00:18:45
judgment, trying to understand how I am structured00:18:47
inside, how this mechanism00:18:53
works, how this or that00:18:56
emotion is obtained, there is a lot of interest in this,00:18:59
acceptance and desire comprehend00:19:03
If I look from an invented00:19:06
ideal image that I hold on to with00:19:08
all my might, then I will look at myself00:19:10
realistically from this rotation of contempt, I am00:19:14
aggression, after some time I will be00:19:16
blinded because they00:19:19
punish themselves all the time, they will want to see And the00:19:21
further the image is invented this is real, the00:19:25
more disconnected I am, the more fear I have of being00:19:27
exposed, the less likely it is that I00:19:31
will be able to express myself, I’m00:19:34
finishing up. I remind you that on July 8th we are00:19:38
starting a project on how to00:19:41
realize yourself, I’ll ask you to answer the00:19:45
question. Try these00:19:48
last weeks or the last00:19:51
month to find those misconceptions which you00:19:54
previously thought was true, I later realized that00:19:57
it was a perverted truth And that it00:20:00
was actually such a difficult00:20:01
task, subscribe to my channel00:20:04
See you laterDescription:
✅ Вебинар "Запертые изнутри. Субъективность" https://olgademchuk.org/zapertye ✅"Дело". Реализация потенционала личности. https://olgademchuk.org/delo-2 ✅Книга "Ложное Я. Реальное Я. Исследование внутреннего мира личности" https://olgademchuk.org/book-ukr Страх разоблачения. Страх проявления себя. Эти два страха имеют общую причину - отверженное Реальное Я, которое личность не познаёт, а сдерживает, подавляет. Несомненно, каждому из нас есть что сдерживать, особенно в состоянии аффектов, переполненности эмоциями. Взрослые человек это делает с заботой о других людях, понимая последствия. "Ребёнок" это делает из страха быть отвергнутым. Чем искусственнее, несоотнесённее с Реальным Я образ личности, тем больше она ощущает себя запертой, пленённой и жертвой. ✅Станьте спонсором канала, и вы получите доступ к эксклюзивным бонусам. Подробнее: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG11A-xxB50Z2VIZ9nTppgA/join ✅так же можно оформить подписку на эти же видео на сайте https://olgademchuk.org/vitrina#!/tab/525836394-3 ✅Список вебинаров, лекций и школ Ольги Демчук, видео-запись которых можно приобрести https://olgademchuk.org/vitrina ✅ Если вы хотите поддержать развитие канала, то можете сделать это, пройдя по ссылке https://olgademchuk.org/donate Ольга Демчук - практикующий психоаналитик, автор многочисленных статей о глубинных процессах в психике, которые вы можете прочесть на её сайте: https://olgademchuk.org/vitrina Ольга Демчук организатор и преподаватель Школы интуитивного мышления "Шпионские игры", Школы холистического мышления "Игры разума", Школы психоаналитиков "Сталкер". Образование в психологии: магистратура по специальности психолог ✅Список вебинаров, лекций и школ Ольги Демчук, видео запись которых можно приобрести https://olgademchuk.org/vitrina ✅
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