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jürgen von der lippe
comedy
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  • ruRussian
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00:00:02
[Applause]
00:00:20
What can I say,
00:00:22
not
00:00:30
Berlin at all,
00:00:41
now
00:00:43
I think
00:00:46
I think that's enough, thank you, nice
00:00:49
jacket,
00:00:50
I hate colorful shirts,
00:00:54
that's the first thing she's done in the
00:00:55
past 25 years when
00:00:57
I'm on duty, I'm given a shirt and then put
00:01:00
on something fancy hatched do
00:01:03
n't you think yes that's great
00:01:05
I can say whatever I want people
00:01:07
think he
00:01:08
could have said thank you very much for
00:01:10
this overwhelming applause it was
00:01:12
very convenient for me it's incredibly flatulent
00:01:18
yes that's the great thing about my
00:01:20
job that's why I do it Because
00:01:22
we can always say what we want,
00:01:23
other professional groups have this
00:01:25
privilege, don't take it, my hairdresser
00:01:30
comes in and says I want
00:01:32
to get to know the same hairstyle, I need
00:01:34
a photo
00:01:36
because the hairdresser wants to say
00:01:45
look, that
00:01:48
's a misunderstanding
00:01:51
that there is a professional model
00:01:56
beautiful person
00:02:00
you
00:02:04
are a whim of nature
00:02:07
in your new from evolution
00:02:10
maybe god has lost a bet
00:02:15
your picture what maybe in the butcher
00:02:18
time
00:02:19
as an advertisement for chopped yes that's what
00:02:23
he wants to say what he says but is there so
00:02:26
will be very excellent truth that
00:02:30
you the excellent will do what
00:02:32
she knows weak strengths he is
00:02:34
not gay at all but he only has to
00:02:36
because he was special choir
00:02:38
top class is not accepted I
00:02:41
could say there were also ten beautiful women
00:02:44
in the first two rows alone that
00:02:47
mathematically makes 20 boobs
00:02:54
ok 18
00:02:58
yes a doctor can't do that either
00:03:02
they see doctor yes
00:03:06
when the patient comes she
00:03:09
definitely looks like julia roberts is
00:03:11
hanging there the doctor can't say oh
00:03:13
[ __ ]
00:03:15
undress
00:03:18
lie down
00:03:20
on your face
00:03:25
there they are yes we've already
00:03:27
started should I
00:03:29
summarize again what
00:03:33
or teacher
00:03:35
when parents come to the consultation
00:03:37
the teacher can't say oh yes Mr.
00:03:40
and Mrs. Müller yes your son Willi is
00:03:44
a complete idiot
00:03:46
until I wonder how the child
00:03:48
finds the door in the morning to leave the house
00:03:51
my tip is this way from 10 euros
00:04:06
from me, it's more or less
00:04:08
expected. I
00:04:10
flew again recently. It was broken. Some of the
00:04:12
straps are coming. It's more like it shakes me. What's wrong
00:04:14
with his lip? Put your
00:04:15
backrest upright again and fasten your seatbelt.
00:04:16
We're expecting
00:04:18
violent turbulence
00:04:19
I'm telling you, I'm happy
00:04:22
here, I would have missed it, where would I have missed it?
00:04:29
Who would want to sleep when everyone around is
00:04:30
vomiting,
00:04:37
but there's
00:04:38
another reason for this somewhat
00:04:41
dignified little one. I hardly ever go to
00:04:44
bars anymore. Yes, I almost only go
00:04:47
to pastry shops
00:04:48
I would also like to be one of the
00:04:50
youngest in the room again.
00:04:55
It always takes a while.
00:04:57
You notice that the work is mostly from the back
00:05:00
to the front. You haven't been here yet,
00:05:04
then that's how it is in pubs there are two
00:05:07
types of audience, one half gets drunk
00:05:09
and She has to drive the others home
00:05:13
and remember this mixture of too loud
00:05:15
music, alcohol abuse, the sight of
00:05:18
potential sexual partners, the
00:05:20
certainty that you can't get to it, it
00:05:23
creates such an aggressive
00:05:26
atmosphere that we don't like anymore,
00:05:27
that's not the case in confectioners.
00:05:35
No, don't hear a single sentence about what
00:05:38
you believe You're so stupid
00:05:40
eating
00:05:44
They don't get rammed from behind
00:05:46
when they're just collecting the glass.
00:05:50
They get a dart in the
00:05:52
back of the head
00:05:54
because a misguided housewife believes she has to take
00:05:58
part in the new partner's leisure activities.
00:06:00
Nothing, it's just peaceful, you
00:06:04
sit there and eating cake
00:06:07
cakes makes you happy
00:06:09
sweets contain happiness messengers
00:06:12
not
00:06:16
cooking meatballs makes you happy and fat
00:06:18
and that's a good thing because
00:06:21
science doesn't
00:06:22
agree at all about whether we
00:06:24
expect global warming or not
00:06:27
maybe a new ice age and if we do
00:06:30
get a new ice age then we
00:06:32
chubby ones are way ahead
00:06:36
yes
00:06:47
I just say Titanic you saw the film
00:06:50
the little thin Leonardo
00:06:54
dead
00:06:55
he was freezing the fat Kate Winslet
00:07:01
turned over 100

Description:

Jürgen von der Lippe - Ehrlich aus dem Live Programm "So bin ich" ► Das komplette Programm: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywKpynn-ANQ&t=30s ► Abonniere jetzt den Kanal von Jürgen von der Lippe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBZXnHidY0rYhDprCBXNo9A?sub_confirmation=1 ► Instagram: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser ► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser Die DVD 3er Box hier bestellen: https://www.amazon.de/gp/product/B0018JD5YK?ie=UTF8&camp=1638&creative=6742&creativeASIN=B0018JD5YK

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