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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:02
[applause]00:00:04
Well, that’s how I decided that I would die00:00:08
a virgin Oh, I’m sorry Plato, this is00:00:11
all very interesting, of course, but it’s somehow00:00:14
strange that you’re telling me all this on the00:00:15
first date. And what am I saying like00:00:19
e and that there’s never been a00:00:23
girl there at all? They hinted to Nati, I’m00:00:26
always close by, but I don’t love me yet.00:00:29
I’m00:00:32
Kola. It’s clear. Well, I’m doing design00:00:36
now, I’ve got a new firm, even if00:00:38
she herself is suitable for Dorofeev, I’ll say00:00:40
no, okay. Well, I understand, I was00:00:44
recently in Paris with my friends, two00:00:46
twins will say Plato We yours I don’t understand in00:00:49
any way I understood the Universe itself will say00:00:52
come to my place I’ll take a shower and sleep00:00:55
well Well I respect your position Let’s00:00:59
choose something and let’s have a cocktail Yes let’s have a00:01:02
cocktail bloody ri lon kain like Varman00:01:08
that I’m like Vaserman that like Vaserman well00:01:11
he, too, has been a virgin all his life There are two of us00:01:13
like that in the00:01:15
world Well, stop it Choose already da00:01:18
lon Kan bloody ri Shalinsky monk00:01:22
Shalinsky monk Yeah, I'm a Shaulin monk00:01:24
only without movies and without primas so00:01:28
please laton I believe you seriously Well, of00:01:33
course, that's how00:01:35
you take it on the first date and you believe me Well, yes, I’m sure that00:01:37
you are an honest person and you00:01:42
check. Yes, no, well, you said Miss00:01:45
Universe will try to approach you, you will00:01:47
refuse anyway. Well, why should I care about her?00:01:49
Why are you00:01:51
giving up so quickly? Well, listen, well, you chose this kind of00:01:54
life. I if Honestly, I even admire00:01:56
you, of course Well, I couldn’t do that,00:02:00
you’re so interesting, tell me something00:02:02
else about yourself. Why tell an ordinary00:02:04
guy, I work 18 hours a day, so00:02:08
much, and that’s a lot of energy, if I00:02:11
had sex, then yes then 1200:02:14
I’d work for hours and spend the remaining 6 hours on00:02:16
sex,00:02:18
let’s choose something to00:02:21
eat. I’ll have water and that’s it. Why do I need00:02:25
these calories? If I had sex in the evening,00:02:27
I’d devour it, I’d gain it here.00:02:30
That’s all the fatty stuff. I think that00:02:34
my name is to blame for everything Plato And what is she00:02:36
to blame for, that it’s all because of him Plato -00:02:39
this is in honor of a platonic relationship,00:02:42
as if my parents knew that I was created00:02:44
for them, yes Well, okay, stop Plato Well,00:02:49
I even really like you seriously Well,00:02:51
of course, well you know, you’re such an interesting,00:02:54
such a versatile person, yeah, let’s00:02:58
just be friends,00:03:01
well, don’t, don’t, let’s, yes, I’m very glad that00:03:06
I’m also very easy to be friends, let’s just be00:03:09
friends. It’s a pity that it won’t last long. What is it?00:03:12
Why do I have a00:03:15
fatal disease? Yes, as much as possible,00:03:19
Lord, parasitic00:03:22
protrusion of the fifth,00:03:25
embarrassment, embarrassment The doctor said that well, a week00:03:28
at most and that's it. What a nightmare00:03:31
that nothing can be done. Well, maybe there is00:03:33
some kind of medicine. Well, it00:03:36
costs 3 million dollars. Damn, it's true that00:03:40
grandmothers say that sex can00:03:42
help. Maybe somehow we'll have time to00:03:44
collect the money. Already I’ve been collecting for a year and a half Well,00:03:47
I have 1,500 dollars almost00:03:52
left, it turns out only sex, yes,00:03:56
it turns out only sex, such a life,00:03:59
wait, I remembered My dad has an00:04:02
acquaintance, Well, he knows Renata Akhmetova, we00:04:05
will save you, there is a way out, we will save you00:04:07
Plato Why is it so difficult00:04:11
today, girl my You hear me I say00:04:15
there is another option yes well if you00:04:18
weren’t so stubborn00:04:21
so let’s go with the principles without them Plato00:04:25
No this is the first time I’ve seen such a00:04:27
principled person don’t betray yourself00:04:29
Go let’s go to the end yeah go to the end00:04:34
you say go to the end you know how00:04:35
scary I have00:04:37
Dimka Kolya, let Kolya be my best friend00:04:41
abstain from sex00:04:43
abstain00:04:45
from here00:04:47
died What a pity, it’s a pity Tartarus that I00:04:53
will be00:04:56
Tartarus Please tell me the person00:05:00
had the opportunity to save the life of another00:05:02
person and he00:05:03
did not take advantage of this opportunity and that’s all So he is considered00:05:05
here this man, this one, is a murderer I don’t even00:05:08
know the difficult00:05:10
question Yes, my life is not even worth00:05:13
this conversation I’m a loser in life I00:05:17
’ve never been first second place at the00:05:20
mathematics Olympiad second place in00:05:22
swimming second place in the world00:05:28
under me sometimes it seems to me if I00:05:31
ended up in bed with someone I would be good00:05:34
you think so Well I guess it’s a pity that00:05:38
we will never know Yes it’s a pity that00:05:41
we will never00:05:46
know this but you are a curious person I think00:05:50
so keep your curiosity to yourself00:05:52
you understand didn’t say yes If I don’t need to00:05:54
wink and namika And if a person00:05:57
speaks, then maybe the person’s principle does00:05:59
n’t even stutter to me about it, yes, I understood everything, I00:06:02
respect your position, so you’re talking, A00:06:04
curious person, and so quickly you00:06:06
give up, oh yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!00:06:13
What are you talking about, there’s such fear here, half an hour left, he’s00:06:17
telling me,00:06:19
you live far away, an00:06:23
hour’s00:06:26
drive, you know, another hour and a half, he’s telling me,00:06:30
there’s an hour and a half left,00:06:33
so little time, And I haven’t learned so much,00:06:36
I haven’t tried, I want so much to00:06:39
have a woman nearby who will comfort me,00:06:41
calm me down, I understand Plato, I understand everything I00:06:44
understand perfectly well, you understand, of course I understand, go00:06:47
to your mother, she will00:06:51
console your mother, to your mother’s mother, well, but I still00:06:55
don’t understand what sex is, of course I00:06:58
watched the video, but everything is so00:07:00
complicated, it’s not clear, well, Plato, time is running out,00:07:02
let’s go to the hedgehog, she’s waiting for food come on,00:07:05
I'm going to go to my mother now, I say there is an00:07:08
hour and a half left and she lives in Uman that they will die00:07:10
in my Zhashkov00:07:19
What's okay Now I'll go to my mother But00:07:23
before I leave I'll tell you one00:07:25
parable okay Listen carefully I will Once upon a time there00:07:29
lived a wise man who gave Lunch00:07:32
celibacy and somehow a young young Virgo came to him and00:07:35
asked the sage how you live00:07:38
Without frivolous pleasures and took off her robe And in the00:07:43
morning with the first rays of the sun he called00:07:45
her a taxi she became a billionaire How do you like the00:07:48
plan the00:07:50
parable is simply this is just a00:07:53
delightful parable Yes she is simply00:07:55
beautiful Tell her mom she's00:07:58
high00:07:59
That's what you're like And you figured it out a long time ago00:08:02
on Varman And why did it take00:08:05
so long and my friend00:08:07
was telling me about you I honestly wanted to00:08:11
wait for the parable I have to change the restaurant00:08:14
everyone knows me here waiter She00:08:19
[music]00:08:22
will pay Listen this is a mask made of oloy This is00:08:25
the bomb I completely agree Give me five00:08:35
and listen after these paraffin gloves it’s00:08:39
twice as pleasant for you to give a bird the00:08:42
skin of your palm is so tender00:08:45
I agree And peeling And this is a fairy tale in general, why do00:08:50
we need that fishing if there’s the same fish here, it’s00:08:53
just also00:08:54
nice I I don’t understand at all why We00:08:57
haven’t done this with you before, I now00:09:00
change my toothbrush once every 3 weeks, you know what And00:09:03
that the gums don’t bleed Come00:09:06
on bro Don’t take this as a tackle,00:09:11
of course,00:09:15
but you can shave00:09:19
perfectly, thank you very much. That’s00:09:21
how I found out that it’s a trimer00:09:24
It’s not a disease, now it’s the only thing I00:09:28
use,00:09:29
everything, everything, everything, it’s time for me to00:09:33
detox, you’re with me, no, no, I shouldn’t lie down for another 1000:09:36
minutes,00:09:41
and I’ll find out now what’s00:09:44
going on there. I’m explaining to you.00:09:47
Actually, we can’t go here VI client. And I00:09:49
’ll find out now. Because of what kind of client00:09:52
I haven’t been able to make an appointment at the salon for 2 months,00:09:54
man, well, get out of here, I’m a woman,00:10:02
that’s00:10:03
the problem, woman, you don’t care that they00:10:05
serve men here. Well, what’s wrong with that? Have00:10:09
you gone crazy? Why are you interfering in something other than your00:10:13
own territory? And I’m00:10:16
repeating to you again If you don’t leave, I’ll00:10:18
call security00:10:20
right now Look, look at the nails, manicure, what kind of style00:10:25
no, no, no, they00:10:28
should be exactly like00:10:33
this. This is how a real man’s nails should look like,00:10:36
I’m not00:10:38
going to go to the salon, a man is sitting in a salon, men are in a00:10:41
solarium, men are in cosmetologist men Yes,00:10:43
what is this? And when women started00:10:46
wearing trousers, it wasn’t so bad that00:10:47
men didn’t00:10:50
have enough trousers. What next? What Next? They’ll00:10:53
take00:10:55
Meladze’s piece-piece swimsuits from us. They00:10:59
’ll drive a Mini00:11:03
[music]00:11:07
Cooper00:11:09
please. Sorry, I’ll call you back00:11:12
later.00:11:16
quietly, come on, little mask, then00:11:19
dream of all the boundaries, I'm calling the security,00:11:22
man-woman,00:11:23
your00:11:27
meme,00:11:30
you're a bastard And I was walking, passing by, Let me think I'll00:11:35
come in and come in. I'm done. I'm already00:11:37
home, passing by. You passed by, yes. Well, yes, guys. We00:11:40
came in. I decided to try. In case00:11:44
you like it I liked it Well then00:11:49
[music]00:11:54
bye Vladimir your herbal tea00:11:57
jiba00:12:01
maybe you could also make a smoothie as00:12:06
usual smoothie As usual00:12:11
Vova I’m sorry can I offer your dad00:12:15
something too00:12:19
I’m his00:12:22
wife I’m00:12:24
sorry Vladimir I also wanted to remind you of00:12:27
your annual subscription00:12:34
Oh, you're an annual subscription Yes, an annual00:12:37
subscription What, like, men00:12:39
should only look after women? And men00:12:42
should only be looked after when they00:12:44
suit themselves and their relatives are not recognized by00:12:48
DAI. Isn't that the kind of equality we00:12:51
sought, and we fought for equal00:12:54
working conditions, and now with it You also00:12:56
have to fight for beauty, Vova, and I’m not00:12:59
going to be scary from the00:13:03
noise. And what did you do to your legs, what am I00:13:08
saying, what did you do to your legs, you’re a bastard, you’re00:13:10
beautiful And you’re talking about00:13:16
sugaring, sugaring, Vova, you00:13:20
shouldn’t know such words,00:13:21
sugaring, Irochka, you’ll freeze.00:13:24
now everything has been taken off, you00:13:29
don’t need to buy second ones for your pants, I bought myself00:13:32
thermal underwear Vova, these are your00:13:36
underpants Irochka Well, I00:13:39
look much better now and we can have00:13:41
sex in the00:13:43
light Yes, what a fellow, what a good00:13:47
idea Vova, how will you do it so00:13:49
that the light falls only on00:13:53
you. And I also gave myself an intimate00:13:57
hairstyle,00:14:00
mother, the main thing is that I00:14:04
can’t sign up for a regular hairstyle, but you gave yourself an intimate one, yes, that00:14:07
is, are you serious? You are now00:14:10
more beautiful here than I am,00:14:13
here you have to00:14:15
[applause]00:14:23
look at me that's enough, let's go00:14:26
home I have something to do,00:14:29
you have something to do, I'm going on00:14:32
braces, where are you00:14:35
going to put braces on your teeth now?00:14:39
Very00:14:40
fashionable And where was I when everything was00:14:45
chmyri for at school now it has become fashionable00:14:49
braces on teeth horn frames on glasses00:14:52
socks in00:14:53
Sanda Tell me00:14:56
honestly, they definitely paid off the loan on the apartment. I00:15:00
mean, yes, you’re just00:15:02
trying to change your appearance, as if you00:15:03
want to hide. Well, of course, they paid off00:15:07
what you’re worried about. I’ve started to00:15:09
look better, I’ve started to earn more, and00:15:12
we, too. If you’re interested, of course, we00:15:14
We're flying to Dubai for the New Year,00:15:16
of course. Now we00:15:19
need to show the same beauty to people.00:15:21
Yes, listen. If you buy me a camera,00:15:25
you'll go out onto the balcony. I'll take pictures of your bare ass just00:15:27
like that. So00:15:28
everything has calmed down, I'm stopping this00:15:30
conversation, my psychologist forbids me to00:15:32
communicate with toxic people00:15:35
[applause]00:15:39
people00:15:41
who is a psychologist Yes Nina00:15:44
Nikolaevna man here your00:15:48
psychologist took a liter went to the00:15:51
Shevchenko monument said everything that she was sick00:15:52
closed the stahl went00:15:55
home cold you immediately a man man Maybe I’m a00:16:00
metrosexual Vova you00:16:05
Metrostroy you’re digging a tunnel just like00:16:08
you’re now going to do it with a00:16:10
manicure for half a thousand I don’t understand and you’re00:16:13
really offended, all the men are now00:16:14
taking care of themselves, Petrovich is a drunk, he did00:16:17
n’t cut his own hair for the first time in his life and the00:16:21
saleswoman at the kiosk doesn’t recognize and started00:16:26
keeping a notebook from scratch Ava used to give up a seat on the trolleybus00:16:29
because he looked 36 on00:16:32
62 And now He’s back again now he’s not00:16:35
Ivanovich00:16:38
Stas It’s clear you’re not going to give in. Well,00:16:41
okay. I’ll go at you with your own weapon. I’ll00:16:44
sign up for a00:16:46
barbershop because there’s never any queues. I00:16:48
’ll sit with the men in a magazine and leaf through the00:16:50
whiskey. I already have a mustache.00:16:55
Yes, here you go. this woman is interfering with00:16:59
our VIP client This is a woman Yes, this is a00:17:01
woman on00:17:03
the way out I’m not a00:17:06
beautiful woman So girls, let’s00:17:09
quickly eight00:17:11
smoothies, four peelings and 22 sugarings00:17:15
Lord, why so many [ __ ] knows00:17:17
when I’ll get to you again let’s work quickly00:17:20
[music]00:17:27
work00:17:29
Hello00:17:31
hello And you, what are you doing here? You00:17:33
should have been in the hospital for another 5 days,00:17:35
not when you should be treated. The repairs need to be completed.00:17:38
Like the leg is normal, they removed this screw00:17:42
to everything I stopped at there Nastyukha.00:17:46
Well, you screw the screws into the parquet. Surely00:17:50
Let's oh Wait, wait, wait, maybe no00:17:53
need just healed it needed repairs00:17:55
won’t00:17:57
do it on its own Nastya, what about the screws Here00:18:01
they are on the kitchen table Well, I guess I was cleaning up and00:18:05
rearranging Nastya, I asked you not to00:18:08
touch anything so that everything would be in its place00:18:19
Nastya And you called someone to do the repairs00:18:24
No you what where did you00:18:27
take it lies exactly00:18:30
Well, this is it. It leveled out over time. As00:18:33
you said, it’s suspicious, it’s00:18:41
all00:18:43
fresh putty, Nastya, you think I’m an idiot. Where is he? Where is he who who00:18:46
who I don’t understand what you’re talking about00:18:49
you don’t understand what a screwdriver is00:18:54
I have in there was no life of a screwdriver And this00:18:57
smell,00:18:58
this smell, what a smell, the smell of wallpaper00:19:01
glue And so I mixed00:19:05
your glue a little so that it doesn’t00:19:07
dry out,00:19:08
not my glue smells like a wet dog, but this00:19:13
glue smells like glue, where is it in00:19:18
the closet, don’t00:19:20
open00:19:26
it, open it,00:19:30
I knew it, Nastya, God how00:19:33
painful Vova Vova This is not what you were00:19:37
thinking about, it’s so weak Nastya that you didn’t00:19:40
order a banner for the whole house, my husband is a00:19:43
crooked brute00:19:45
and this is after 5 years of marriage and after 3 years of00:19:50
renovation, don’t cling to Vova’s words Well,00:19:53
listen, he didn’t do anything he just00:19:55
looked and that’s it, yes, the00:19:59
wallpaper00:20:00
pasted itself, I mean, what are you talking about? It’s not mine. The00:20:03
wallpaper is butt-butt, and I have an overlap, butt-to-00:20:06
butt, overlap.00:20:08
I remember everything because I did it with00:20:10
these hands, I did it with all my heart. Well, okay, I00:20:13
admit, yes, he glued00:20:17
wallpaper Nastya It would be better if you slept with him00:20:20
Well, I would sleep with him Vova Well,00:20:24
there’s nowhere You can’t put together a bed for six months, what are00:20:27
you saying, I mean, I can’t put together a00:20:32
bed, I Give it here,00:20:34
gave it00:20:37
here, don’t stand on your soul Oh Vova00:20:40
Just don’t be offended. Well, where are you going to00:20:42
collect the furniture if you have00:20:44
extra parts from the Kinder Surprise toys?00:20:57
here so sick or something Vova is00:21:00
already holding hands Read that there is part P1 in puzzle P200:21:06
Oh00:21:13
Vova is super you don’t have a damn thing Vova doesn’t00:21:18
understand00:21:19
something about repairs I don’t understand I’ve watched 153 videos in the tube I00:21:23
know everything I understand Yes00:21:26
let’s check okay here this is a00:21:28
tool on top, the steering wheel is00:21:31
lying down there Valya, good, this is Shul Vova, damn it,00:21:36
even I know that this is a spatula. I just00:21:39
learned from Moldavian YouTube and there everything is00:21:42
called Vova. Well, explain to me. Well,00:21:44
explain. Well, why are you stubborn? Well, that’s what00:21:47
’s wrong with that that the repairs will be done by a00:21:48
professional and I’ll explain to you, come here,00:21:52
remember you once wanted to00:21:54
surprise me? What did Yarekon do in the middle of00:21:58
the dance didn’t call a stripper to00:22:02
dance everything for you So So man, we’re00:22:06
professionals here ourselves, goodbye So00:22:09
stop stop stop man Wait, Vova, well,00:22:12
you understand, I care about you, you00:22:14
drilled your own leg. If you cared about me,00:22:17
you would say that it’s a sin to work on this day of00:22:19
Trinity. So man,00:22:22
goodbye, come on, no, Vova, no, so I went to00:22:24
make a battery, Vova, please, just not a00:22:26
battery. This only00:22:30
le What does it have to do with the glue to the batteries,00:22:33
even though you Look, Come on, you00:22:36
do everything yourself, he’ll just help you, I do00:22:39
n’t need any help here It’s just00:22:41
cosmetics left Yes Dada you00:22:43
said that six months ago Yes, I’m a little00:22:45
behind schedule, how did I know that 200:22:47
I’ll be in a coma for a month and then for another00:22:49
month the right side will only work.00:22:51
And you tried to glue the wallpaper only with your00:22:53
right hand. By the way, if you knew that00:22:55
I’d hit someone, I’d have a screed now, then the whole room would be00:22:58
dry. You understand, yes00:23:00
Nastya, this repairman will cost us three dearly00:23:03
Well, you understand, it00:23:04
will still be cheaper than two of your MRIs.00:23:07
Oh, but we know where our zero is and where our00:23:11
phase is. And in general, I always have everything under00:23:14
control. It’s00:23:17
[music] a00:23:19
solvent, it tastes like00:23:23
Bob’s limoncello. Please put it in00:23:26
its place. I ask you not to do anything. touch00:23:28
please Well, I don’t want to remain a widow00:23:30
at 30 years old, you’ve already been shocked, beaten with water,00:23:34
beaten with cement. It seems to me that everything you00:23:36
touch hits you, that’s normal.00:23:39
Bova. Well, what’s normal? Well, what’s normal?00:23:41
Explain to me that you started doing repairs00:23:43
on the balcony and and what and where is the balcony, what are you doing00:23:49
to me with this balcony all the time, do00:23:51
n’t turn the arrows, call the company, let them00:23:53
take him away, I won’t call anywhere, but I00:23:55
called, and I won’t call anywhere, I wo00:23:58
n’t, I won’t call anywhere, I’ll00:24:01
just leave it,00:24:02
I called quietly, otherwise I won’t speak for you00:24:06
I guarantee calmly man man man00:24:09
calmly calmly calmly Yes, he's bluffing Yeah he's00:24:13
bluffing, look at him, he's00:24:15
crazy And look at the plinth, how00:24:17
he put it down, it's00:24:19
crazy quietly quietly quietly quietly00:24:21
quietly quietly man calmly Put it down, look00:24:23
at me, I'm leaving Put the tool down,00:24:25
bye-bye I I'm leaving, I'm leaving, and you'll excuse00:24:28
me, here's the prepayment Sorry for that Yes, no,00:24:31
wait, but he'll be connecting the lights now,00:24:33
and it's either a burn or a00:24:36
bruise. Hospital. So see you00:24:41
tomorrow overnight quarter00:24:52
[music]00:24:55
tunka Hello, name is00:24:59
Vova, where00:25:01
were you, what did you decide to me? arrange an interrogation I00:25:05
ask noisily where have you been so teach00:25:08
me these games will not work I00:25:10
had the first category in chess at school and that And00:25:13
you won’t be able to make me00:25:16
guilty I see all your claims00:25:19
five moves ahead You are a fool So I knew00:25:23
that you say so I say00:25:26
chess or let's play Now five moves00:25:29
you'll go to the bath and cry Give me your00:25:33
claim I'm asking where were you as00:25:37
flat as E2 E4 I also look standard then00:25:41
I was at00:25:45
work You actually looked at the clock 5 am00:25:48
Listen you Would you at least at school, too, I00:25:52
was like some kind of chess group, so that00:25:54
at least there was something there. I asked in00:25:56
general, I’m bored, I’m interested so far, only00:25:59
with pieces, we’re blaming games at all, Ima. So,00:26:01
let’s00:26:02
go like that, too. It’s just that00:26:05
I was late at00:26:08
work. Why are you drunk, at least you00:26:13
gave something away? You have to00:26:15
think so drunk Drunk Why am I00:26:18
drunk And the whole master's move I'm drunk because00:26:24
I00:26:26
drank00:26:30
Okay I'll ask differently,00:26:32
why did you drink attention I drank to00:26:38
be00:26:41
drunk How do you like castling00:26:44
Listen noisy, why are you so drunk So00:26:48
here you need to think a little if I I’ll tell00:26:51
her that I celebrated the boss’s birthday, she’ll00:26:54
beat me because the boss’s birthday was a00:26:56
week ago, if I say Today is00:26:59
Friday, I have the right to beat her because00:27:02
today is00:27:03
Wednesday. And if I tell the truth that00:27:05
I celebrated Accountant’s Day with00:27:07
the accountant, she’ll just00:27:11
beat me, so here’s my move: Today Friday00:27:14
I have the right idiot Today is00:27:18
Monday not even Wednesday00:27:21
yes well I’m interested in how you defended00:27:26
neovi then Nemi owl will confirm you can’t say00:27:30
what you’ve been drinking for a month without00:27:32
fishing to attack00:27:35
went for a fork I decided to make two00:27:39
pieces for battle at once so to save those two00:27:42
you have to sacrifice the third00:27:45
piece is yours Mom can come whenever00:27:49
she wants, great, you can go on your00:27:53
fishing trip, ugh, at least you saved the fishing, this00:27:56
party was00:27:58
noisy, who were you00:28:01
drinking with, so uninteresting, so you need to quickly00:28:04
seize the initiative. Get away from me,00:28:09
[ __ ], are you out of your mind, what00:28:13
happened just now, the child’s swearing didn’t work,00:28:17
but then let's go with the00:28:21
knight really the letter G00:28:24
went dear let's go to the bedroom00:28:28
Well I can't remove my hands properly I can't remove my hands I00:28:31
the chess player took hold of the piece00:28:36
walk Can you hear the thunderstorms Jägermeister you00:28:40
just can't walk anymore come on Go sit down00:28:42
We haven't finished playing00:28:44
well then the gambit Yes I drank a bottle of00:28:48
beer opened00:28:50
bam this is an excuse Old as the world00:28:54
because chess is the oldest game00:28:57
so that's enough I'm tired from00:28:59
tomorrow no fishing no00:29:02
football and no get-togethers with friends00:29:04
we're quiet and quiet We're not00:29:07
playing checkers here you can kill one piece at a time00:29:10
everything's fine okay let's start with fishing What's00:29:13
fishing for you? I'm selling your00:29:16
inflatable00:29:18
boat. It's a pity for the00:29:20
rook, but there are also options, of course00:29:23
you can go fishing, but without00:29:25
friends and without alcohol,00:29:28
but on the other hand, why do I need a useless00:29:31
blocked00:29:33
Rook, lock me up? I'm saving the queen and00:29:38
about I can’t drink the queen and I00:29:43
took it, I’ll wash the dishes anyway, no,00:29:46
clean up the house, walk the dog,00:29:49
no Nastya, I’m just pushing a pawn to the end of the00:29:52
board. Return00:29:55
[music] the00:29:56
queen, you’ll give up, grandmaster, no, I think00:30:00
I have a great position. And I’m even00:30:03
winning seriously. Well, let’s continue playing well.00:30:06
A I also rummaged through your phone and00:30:13
decided to attack from the other flank00:30:15
interestingly interesting Gena’s work Who’s00:30:19
Gena’s work it’s good that she saw not a00:30:26
chess player herself Geno’s work is Geno’s00:30:32
work I’m sure yes it was like yes And I00:30:36
called that’s why the phone number there00:30:38
was a woman’s voice that’s the move I I didn’t00:30:40
see So, my favorite gene work This is00:30:44
who so00:30:50
wait So so Gena’s00:30:53
work is Gena’s00:30:56
work So listen noisily to00:30:59
me please with the Subject without jumping off now Yes00:31:01
you were a00:31:02
woman what what wait So we need to00:31:05
analyze the situation with perfume I don’t00:31:09
smell of lipstick on me I don’t have hickeys either Well, it00:31:14
must be a simple move, I wasn’t a00:31:17
woman. How can you prove that you have women’s00:31:19
underpants sticking out of your pocket? That’s what I’m00:31:24
called, so I need to defend myself, so00:31:28
Kramnik’s defense won’t work. Fischer’s defense is also00:31:35
Ivanov’s defense, these are my00:31:39
underpants noisily. Listen, do you think if00:31:42
your friend Ivanov has something like that about the channel? the00:31:44
king is in danger too, you need to00:31:48
save the king I’m in the toilet so it’s00:31:51
standing if starting from today I00:31:54
see you drunk at least once again I00:31:59
didn’t have time to walk My move you idiot Well00:32:02
what’s your move It’s 7 am you00:32:04
have to get ready for work You’ve just arrived00:32:06
What the hell -we're playing too hard. Where did we00:32:08
stop at that bastard, that you00:32:10
showed up at 5 am drunk and you have00:32:13
women's panties sticking out of your pocket? Let's00:32:16
remember this combination and continue in the evening.00:32:18
Thank you for the game, it was nice00:32:21
to play with a worthy00:32:23
opponent whoosh whoosh00:32:30
[applause]00:32:36
portal good afternoon00:32:39
Hello Sveta Pirogova Yes, ninety00:32:43
school, yes, remember me,00:32:47
no, well, Sanya boots who Well,00:32:53
your classmate00:32:55
Yes, my dad also worked as a technician for Santa,00:32:57
you and the guys were making fun of me,00:32:59
they called me Sasha stinky And Sashka stinky,00:33:03
come on in. What are you standing for? How are you, how are00:33:06
you? Thank you Thank you light everything is00:33:08
fine yeah uh I was thinking E Do you remember00:33:12
we were 16 years old Yes it was a00:33:16
warm May outside Yes I didn’t dare for a long time and then00:33:21
confessed my love to you Yes you said00:33:24
let’s go kiss in the toilet yes and there00:33:27
our classmates were already waiting and wetting00:33:29
me head in the toilet Well, yes Well, it00:33:32
was such a joke, this00:33:34
prank and then with a wet head I once again00:33:36
confessed my love to you00:33:39
Yes and you said that you would sleep with me00:33:42
only for a million dollars Yes here is Money00:33:51
Take off your clothes I00:33:52
mean In the00:33:55
sense of the years I went to work to the factory in00:33:59
two shifts on weekends I went to00:34:02
work in Poland on holidays in the00:34:05
Czech Republic in my free time I did00:34:08
tutoring I dug people's gardens for00:34:11
money I bred kings so as not to00:34:13
waste my sleep time I combined it00:34:16
with begging in the00:34:20
Metro I saved on00:34:22
everything I I ate light once a week, then I00:34:27
started selling stolen apples,00:34:29
then I started stealing the same apples and00:34:31
selling them to the same people, they beat me, but00:34:34
they bought apples like that, Sveta, and I earned00:34:38
part of a million. Well, then, purely by chance,00:34:41
I became a deputy and earned the remaining00:34:43
999,000 dollars. So that Sveta, take off your00:34:45
panties, now there will be00:34:53
sex, you know that that during my life a bunch of00:34:58
men tried to buy me like this for a00:35:03
box of chocolates for a bouquet of flowers for a car00:35:05
for earrings and I told everyone no no yes00:35:11
no If you think that I’ll just00:35:15
take it now and be like Wow00:35:22
Hello00:35:25
you agreed a million dollars00:35:28
candles this is real00:35:31
Red million million00:35:34
ot Well, it’s not in vain that we dunked your head into the toilet00:35:38
Well, look how the character is00:35:42
hardened big in the refrigerator for me or the00:35:44
dog Although I already ate00:35:50
it And who are you Lesh, what are you Well this is00:35:55
Well, this is our Sanya Odnoklass00:36:01
under under under under under under under under under00:36:05
under Sanka stinky hello How are you I would00:36:11
n’t make you so happy This man00:36:14
offered me to sleep with him for a million00:36:21
dollars I Ponya00:36:25
SS take a shower and00:36:29
lie down Alexander Come in00:36:33
please wait That is, you don’t mind00:36:37
that I’ll sleep with your wife San,00:36:41
while you come in, take off your shoes, I’ll tell you, like a man, an00:36:44
excellent choice00:36:47
San Lyosha I told you I won’t sleep with him00:36:50
even for a million dollars00:36:53
Even for a million dollars So, let’s go00:36:54
to the bath I have a conversation with you Oh00:36:58
so Lyosha I told you I won’t sleep with him00:37:01
Svetochka Svetulya with my pendant00:37:06
Listen, for the sake of our children we don’t have00:37:09
children Well for a million you can buy00:37:12
whatever you want as many as you want If you want redheads, if you00:37:14
want smart ones, but if you want, buy yourself a00:37:18
twenty-year-old pumped-up boy, you00:37:21
will raise him as you want. I wo00:37:23
n’t say a word to you, I told you, I wo00:37:26
n’t be fine, we won’t give up now.00:37:30
Let’s take that scheme of my first date, take it00:37:32
in short, buy one and a half from00:37:34
Chernigovsky, only dark, this is important,00:37:38
take a pack of minke, only yellow, this is00:37:40
important. take a pack of Orbit only00:37:42
strawberry scheme Working No, it’s00:37:45
important for me that she agrees00:37:48
San, I know All she can do is I didn’t00:37:52
teach Why do they need a00:37:55
copy if00:38:02
there is an00:38:06
original in the sense So what’s the noise oh What’s the00:38:10
noise Elizaveta00:38:14
Mukhtarovna imagine to our world00:38:16
A classmate came and offers her sex00:38:20
for a00:38:23
million Wait, offering wine to her I'm00:38:29
sorry sex for money00:38:36
Yes,00:38:38
God, thank God Father Don't00:38:42
wait, it's still more profitable for three than getting it,00:38:46
yes So what are we all worth, that we're not00:38:52
lying like that yet, mom, I said, I won't sleep with him, that's00:38:54
all00:38:58
my character00:39:00
breed, you know, I also, by the way, had00:39:03
a case when a man tried to buy me00:39:05
for expensive00:39:07
gifts Elizaveta Mukhtarovna, firstly,00:39:11
two heart sticks It’s00:39:14
inexpensive, and secondly, I almost bought it00:39:17
when it didn’t work out and not when00:39:19
it turned out better than00:39:25
the floor and I won’t cough he’s00:39:31
coughing I’m looking at you now and I have00:39:36
the feeling that I’ve dunked my00:39:38
head in the toilet for the second time.00:39:39
I’ll probably go, you wait,00:39:43
wait, wait, wait, let’s do it like00:39:45
men, let’s sit down and drink Chernigov00:39:48
dark beer, this is important, one and a half ha, yellow00:39:50
striped whale, thank you, I don’t want to Yes, wait00:39:53
stop You don’t know mom What kind of massage00:39:55
to give mom ma mom that we are standing00:39:57
foot massage and this is a special technique right00:40:00
through the shoes so that your feet don’t get dirty on Mom’s hands00:40:02
Yes yes no no no no Save Yes no00:40:06
no I’ll go yes stop Yes, it’s00:40:09
dishonest So I’m already set on this00:40:12
million, you’ll leave now, what should I do with this00:40:15
financial erection00:40:17
Okay, you don’t want Svetka Okay,00:40:21
mom Well, okay, I just asked me,00:40:27
buy an apartment from us, buy with00:40:31
us Are you morons and you should be morons,00:40:34
so we’ll be00:40:38
morons So that's enough Lesha that's enough mom I00:40:43
saw you I heard you I recognized you00:40:46
Thank you for opening my eyes to my00:40:48
closest bastards So00:40:52
Alexander now you take00:40:54
this suitcase and leave here so that00:40:58
I never see you here again00:41:01
in 15 minutes we meet near00:41:03
the entrance Hearing, they moved away from here, I told you00:41:08
[music]00:41:18
So on stage there is a women’s quarter and we only00:41:21
joke about those that worry00:41:25
everyone,00:41:27
you know, if men need to plant00:41:29
trees, give birth to a son, build a house, then for a00:41:31
girl to be happy, she just needs to find00:41:33
such an ideal man and of course00:41:36
share this news with my best00:41:40
friend Irochka00:41:43
come here is my Vova’s apartment Listen00:41:48
class two00:41:50
rooms the balcony is so huge yes And00:41:54
now we will live here00:41:58
together seriously Olya I’m so happy for you00:42:02
finally finally you’ve found yourself a boyfriend00:42:05
Thank you Yes no no you I don’t understand I00:42:09
mean that in our time this is a00:42:10
rarity. In short, I recently read00:42:12
it turns out that 30% of all men are gay, you00:42:15
understand, every00:42:19
second, every second - that’s not00:42:22
30%, they’re gays, they didn’t give a damn. You00:42:27
think you don’t give a damn about the laws of mathematics. Listen,00:42:30
where are you from anyway?00:42:32
I got all this, I read it in one very00:42:34
authoritative publication on00:42:36
Facebook, so look at how it00:42:39
was written there: if a man00:42:41
has never been married before the age of 30, it’s all in any case a00:42:43
latent gay But your Vova How many00:42:47
years has he00:42:49
been married for 30 years,00:42:55
no, but I started congratulating you00:42:58
sorry friend So wait, you recently read00:43:01
that Nastya Kamenskikh is a transvestite and00:43:04
has been looking for evidence in videos for a year and00:43:07
the investigation is not over yet And there is00:43:10
no need to change the topic at all You better00:43:11
tell me how Vova is in00:43:14
bed Well, actually, we have only known each other for 200:43:17
weeks Well, everything is correct According to my00:43:19
calculations, you've been here for a week 6 days How00:43:21
should we00:43:22
sleep we're not in a hurry he00:43:26
offered to move in but didn't offer to00:43:29
sleep strange, it's just that in my life00:43:32
the opposite usually00:43:33
happens Well, maybe My Vova is strange00:43:36
but he's definitely not gay Ir Good00:43:41
good Look what I found oh-oh -oh-oh-oh00:43:44
long blond hair I wonder whose00:43:47
it is and I’ll tell you whose I’ll tell you some00:43:52
Swede Ir this is my hair Are you sure you’re00:43:57
sure that this is your hair and not two00:44:00
Swedes of course mine look the ends are split00:44:03
oh Right now right according to Freud, she described the00:44:06
life of her Vova in one sentence,00:44:08
the ends are split Ira, I don’t00:44:12
like this topic at all. Let’s change it. Okay,00:44:15
let’s00:44:18
change it. Listen to a good sofa. Yes, I also00:44:21
like a strong one.00:44:29
with him the man in00:44:33
the photo is his father and the father Listen, well, a00:44:38
nice man, look at how he smiles, he does00:44:41
n’t know yet that there00:44:43
will be no grandchildren Peck on your tongue My Vova is a00:44:46
normal guy Normal yes And00:44:49
you haven’t noticed any oddities00:44:52
at all there is one oddity and he doesn’t00:44:56
like football But he loves00:45:00
boxing, of course. He loves boxing. Of course, can you00:45:03
imagine these half-naked men00:45:07
fighting for his heart? No, my Vova himself loves to fight,00:45:10
so he told how last week00:45:12
he kicked one guy’s ass in a club.00:45:17
And in which club exactly he didn’t specify,00:45:21
well, that he fought there exactly like that Ira00:45:24
good mo Vova is gay00:45:27
let’s say why should he live with me Well00:45:31
how do I know maybe he wants to00:45:33
sit on two chairs with one butt so to speak where one00:45:37
chair is you and the second is turned00:45:40
upside down Ira Oh my God I’m with these00:45:44
conversations I forgot about dinner,00:45:45
now everything is going to burn, yes, let00:45:47
your personal life00:45:49
burn, our00:45:51
favorite dish is on fire today, don’t say, don’t00:45:55
say now, I’ll guess that these are meatballs,00:45:57
not not, but smoothies, you didn’t guess chicken on a00:46:05
bottle, Olechka Have you heard the phrase00:46:09
that we - this is what we eat Olechka I'm at00:46:13
home00:46:14
Vova hello hi Well, meet00:46:18
Ira Vova Vova Ira hello I00:46:22
imagined this for you Hello But I can't say00:46:24
the same thing and why is it that it smells delicious here00:46:27
today your favorite00:46:30
chicken Chur Moya ass Who would doubt00:46:34
it Well, let's start let's start00:46:38
Valdemar Tell me where do you00:46:40
work I work in the theater please the00:46:44
theater is a nest of debauchery these these00:46:47
actors are all there for each other Yaksha they00:46:49
know how today the main role tomorrow00:46:52
secondary please tell me I00:46:55
work in the theater I work as a00:46:57
lighting technician, the right profession Yes, when I00:47:00
need to turn the lights on when I don’t need to turn them off,00:47:04
but I dream of a career as an actor And here comes the00:47:09
fireplace investigative00:47:11
experiment Oh, what an awkward knife00:47:15
she dropped now some guy will come,00:47:18
what kind of guy, you see how00:47:21
interested he is, answer my00:47:23
question but who do you like among the stars00:47:25
in show business and it doesn’t matter whether it’s a man00:47:28
or a woman Although this is what’s important to us,00:47:32
but if you don’t take Olechka, well, you’re00:47:35
not in a hurry to take Olechka, we know that,00:47:37
and then I like Nastya Kamensky Well,00:47:48
Ira solved two cases in one shot, it doesn’t mean anything, you’re completely00:47:51
crazy Oh, yes Well, that’s the most00:47:53
proven test Voldemar, do you00:47:56
want to sleep with me,00:48:00
no, yes, that’s normal You’re my friend, he’s00:48:03
my boyfriend Vova Well, you’re with me in general00:48:05
you want to sleep, well, yes, here’s a normal00:48:08
guy, yes, a very strange choice For a00:48:10
normal guy, girls, girls,00:48:14
nothing is00:48:16
happening, let’s calm down, sete,00:48:19
play a game, so to get to00:48:22
know each other better, relax,00:48:24
watch now, let’s write the word yes on a piece of paper,00:48:27
and you, Voldemar, try00:48:29
to guess who do you know this game Yes I know00:48:31
this game it's me Yeah oh00:48:39
yes We can start yes Yes Let's start let's start00:48:43
Well I'm a well-known person in narrow00:48:47
circles I'm a man purely outwardly00:48:51
Yes I'm alive if you can call it life00:48:55
I understand in my opinion I understand who I am so I’m00:48:58
not the only one, there are a lot of us, yes,00:49:00
more than anyone would like, yes, so, so,00:49:02
so, and we are all so bright00:49:04
pink, purple, yes, yes, yes, you00:49:06
just adore it all, yeah dadada, and00:49:08
most importantly and most importantly, if we something- then we do it00:49:10
together And one of the normal people comes in,00:49:13
we’re like OP, we don’t do anything, yes, yes,00:49:15
yes, and we have our own secret, our own00:49:18
secret, ox You’re scaring me Yes, wait, sit down,00:49:22
come on, sit down, and the main thing is to00:49:25
give birth, which means we communicate son that's00:49:29
enough already VS It's clear So it's00:49:31
clear Sit down I'm telling you And one of us00:49:34
is a screw and the other is such a nut and we're00:49:38
like this Why didn't you tell me right away00:49:41
that you're00:49:42
gay gay I thought I was00:49:48
Fixik, well, there are these screws bolts00:49:52
nuts boy DimDimych VS converges Vova, I'm00:49:56
sorry, of course Fixik Ira, you're also00:49:59
called a friend Guys, I'm over the wine, we'll00:50:02
celebrate that Vova Fixik00:50:11
Fixik Do you hear, the [ __ ] is red If you00:50:15
shoot me, I know what I'll do,00:50:17
I'll smear you, my Dim Dimo, they all pull out stalemates00:50:20
And in Dima Kamenskikh, you know00:50:22
what decorate you like this Mother dear,00:50:26
you00:50:27
understand00:50:29
Olya00:50:31
[music]00:50:34
Olya you know today in the women’s00:50:37
quarter we have a special guest, a man who is00:50:40
used to being constantly in women’s00:50:42
company and probably the only guest00:50:44
who, when he came to our rehearsal00:50:46
in the women’s quarter, said Oh, what do you have there are00:50:48
so few girls that’s why right now00:50:51
Meet the forever young eagle of our stage00:50:55
Mikhail Mikhailovich Poplavsky00:51:00
Good evening Mikhail Mikhailovich00:51:02
hello00:51:04
Hello God Mikhail Mikhailovich You00:51:07
look great I know It’s a pity that you’re not00:51:10
my type I just like00:51:12
older men well rich men are never old00:51:15
Well everything will be Everything will Mikhail00:51:17
Mikhailovich feel from such a topic, we00:51:20
know that many graduates of your00:51:22
university have become famous artists, or rather00:51:25
not even so Many famous artists00:51:28
have become graduates of your university and so the00:51:31
girls and I were wondering if00:51:34
you could enroll in your00:51:37
university yourself, let’s do it now and let's check Mikhail00:51:40
Mikhailovich Please sit down like00:51:43
this and here, sit down but you00:51:45
understand the problem is obvious Because00:51:47
who can take the entrance00:51:48
exam from Mikhail Mikhailovich00:51:51
Poplavsky himself, of course, the one and00:51:54
only Mikhail Mikhailovich Poplavsky00:51:58
blood you are my00:52:01
blood know dyachny then00:52:05
I Oh my grass TM00:52:09
grass Carry me00:52:15
those Good day, I soar you above the post at the00:52:19
Kiev National University cult00:52:22
sts so so so so I’m calling you00:52:27
Misha,00:52:31
I’ll just say that Shan you are not rich, it00:52:36
would be a long-legged00:52:39
blonde with a gorgeous bust about such a rich thing for you it00:52:43
would be much easier I know well, good00:52:48
Let’s thread ticket Well,00:52:54
read ticket number 12, so I hear00:52:58
you, the creativity of the wine of the Ukrainian Vikonavit00:53:00
Mikhail Mikhailovich Poplavsky is significant00:53:02
for the Ukrainian00:53:07
culture, the theme is foldable, the00:53:10
bone Well, the good first is fed then in which00:53:16
Rob the first proy00:53:24
conr00:53:28
here 2008 2009 here so Well, I don’t00:53:34
remember exactly what’s more it was a lot of00:53:37
you know I'm like that Jew I'm leaving I'm leaving but I'm00:53:41
not saying goodbye00:53:43
you know yes you know your VPO is not accurate ade the00:53:47
first farewell concert of Mikhail00:53:50
Poplavsky vidbuvsya 12th birthday 2006 rock is00:53:55
very easily hushed up ade from that moment00:53:58
vlo 12 farewell00:54:10
concert V zagali before ispi00:54:13
got ready chi vi Do you think you will have children of your own00:54:16
[ __ ] and the exams will be00:54:18
closed00:54:21
so ours is not so00:54:24
good at the advance of asking for any00:54:28
motives for the clip of Mikhail Poplavsky buv00:54:32
shot film00:54:37
matri Come on, it’s important for00:54:41
me I’m not ashamed of you Aren’t you ashamed I’m not00:54:45
ashamed of not knowing such a clip on farewell00:54:49
farewell00:54:50
[music]00:55:03
[applause]00:55:05
such a good news Yamato demanded to00:55:10
get ready for the00:55:24
subject00:55:34
more important food tragedy is still00:55:37
silent And I want to say that I appreciate the00:55:41
optimism of marveling in Maybutna and the smut itself00:55:47
[music]00:55:51
sdtu we are in00:55:54
re without too much modesty modesty is the00:55:57
shortest Path to unknown poverty And00:56:00
you can normally say what you say and not Tina00:56:05
And let me help you, I know you’re in00:56:08
the material00:56:10
zero, let’s do the song you want to know How to00:56:13
sound Well, let’s know the whining00:56:14
Go to00:56:18
[music]00:56:23
go Orel you go dzherel to00:56:28
dzherel dzherel00:56:31
and prodovzhennya aha go for nothing00:56:36
VD heart to heart and yakshcho not where for nothing you00:56:39
will be00:56:41
completely00:56:43
screwed so I say go straight to the00:56:47
heart to hearts00:56:52
like that, what the hell, but00:56:55
I want to tell you that the tragedy is00:56:59
that Eagle00:57:01
Ptah Amu is required in dzherel to dzherel00:57:14
[applause]00:57:17
you00:57:18
have a small00:57:21
bottom00:57:23
atse morna to00:57:32
[applause]00:57:35
Truskavtsya dob zam od zata can vdg00:57:40
say and so Yah n about food grub food is00:57:46
mute in rea Khala00:57:51
Poplavsky mku00:57:53
about00:57:55
dumplings about lard about tsibulya about tsibulya00:58:01
correctly And vysnovok is very00:58:04
high Mikhail Mikhailovich still has prospects,00:58:12
not all is lost yet, ardently00:58:16
true, kindly00:58:19
leave00:58:23
God00:58:26
[music]00:58:34
poch vlet mute just especially hotv00:58:37
spitati00:58:39
you understand Irina Bilik phoned00:58:44
400:58:45
ranks and wrote Qiu writing I don’t know in00:58:48
what00:58:50
way Ana said Mikhail Mikhailovich matchmakers00:58:54
blues erotic before that c00:58:57
That is, I dreamed that I was a student and you00:59:01
will be matched with blues00:59:03
points, I am a student just zero matter,00:59:07
you don’t know anything about Mikhail Poplavsky and you know,00:59:10
I can’t make you a student Ale is the00:59:13
only thing I can tell you about the00:59:16
misce of the honorary president of the Kiev00:59:20
National University of Culture and00:59:23
St.00:59:25
CDescription:
(НЕ) первое свидание девственника - этот номер порвал зал до слёз! Добро пожаловать на канал "Юморok ua", где царят смех и приколы! Здесь ты найдёшь непрерывный поток юмора, который заставит тебя ржать до слез. Мы собрали лучшие шутки, приколы и забавные моменты, чтобы подарить тебе незабываемые моменты радости и смеха! На нашем канале мы стремимся доставить тебе настоящие веселье, с помощью разнообразных видео, анекдотов, комедийных скетчей и много другого. Мы уверены, что ты найдёшь здесь что-то, что поднимет тебе настроение в любой момент. Наша команда талантливых юмористов постоянно работает над созданием контента, который заставит тебя улыбнуться и забыть о повседневных заботах. Не важно, какое настроение у тебя сейчас — у нас есть приколы для всех! От лёгкой и ненавязчивой комедии до дерзкого и неожиданного юмора, мы гарантируем, что каждый найдёт что-то по своему вкусу. Подписывайся на наш канал, чтобы не пропустить ни одного забавного момента! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRMrz_FROkJLFZKlpTTDOMQ?sub_confirmation=1
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