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Subtitles
Russian
00:00:01
when for five whole years00:00:04
you are surrounded by people who are either students or00:00:07
teachers, you get the feeling that the00:00:09
whole world around you is busy with00:00:11
greedily striving for knowledge and at the00:00:14
same time the edge of your brain understands that somewhere out there there00:00:16
are mysterious00:00:18
assistant who, for some00:00:21
reason understandable only to them, did not go to 10th grade,00:00:23
but this is what it is, it is rather an exception to the00:00:25
rule, the whole world lives according to my00:00:27
institute law, the return from this00:00:30
idyll to real life00:00:31
happened quite abruptly, I delayed with my00:00:33
diploma, defended vol on December 5 and on December 7th,00:00:38
early in the morning, I was already bald and in military00:00:40
uniform, but in those years it was somehow00:00:44
not fashionable to serve and the doctors found all my peers00:00:47
some terrible diseases and00:00:51
inexpensively, but I don’t regret it at all, this year00:00:55
taught me a lot firstly, I00:00:58
saw that in mascara these are not00:01:00
fantasies, there are very real people, there are00:01:04
many more of them than there are of us in the institutes. I was00:01:07
surprised to learn that there are people who00:01:09
could not finish because and even those00:01:13
who could not get there was the most00:01:17
vivid impression of this year for place00:01:20
in one soldier Misha Borin I want to give00:01:24
him a few minutes of our show in my00:01:28
opinion he certainly deserves it00:01:34
[music]00:01:40
perhaps initially the surname Goren00:01:42
came from the word mountain but as for00:01:45
Misha but definitely the chambers of the word grief he00:01:50
came from some tiny force he00:01:52
had to walk several kilometers to school,00:01:53
and somewhere around the fourth00:01:56
grade, his dad, the wisest man,00:01:59
decided that it was enough for his son to trample his00:02:01
shoes in vain, let him help with the00:02:04
housework, and from the fourth grade00:02:07
until the age of 20, Misha Gorin dutifully did what he did in the00:02:10
summer a supply of provisions in the winter and00:02:14
consumed sleep developed in the end, the00:02:19
military registration and enlistment office workers dug up a00:02:21
method nugget in the rich rural black soil and delivered it in its00:02:24
original form00:02:25
to the service of the fatherland00:02:28
who served to know that at first the young00:02:31
were kept separately from the main forces and in the so-00:02:35
called quarantine and training camp I00:02:37
him called the training rabble that I had never met so00:02:41
many completely different people00:02:43
in my life, the only thing00:02:45
that united us all at least somehow was their00:02:48
frightened faces and the uniform was not the right size;00:02:52
in general, the army uniform has only two00:02:54
sizes, so that they know it is small and large00:02:59
3 it is simply not clear what in such00:03:05
conditions, the recruit showed himself in grief, they did00:03:08
not immediately notice mine about00:03:11
two weeks later when all our rabble in full00:03:13
force marched on the parade ground in00:03:15
30-degree frost in May they were preparing to take the00:03:18
oath in the army there is such a00:03:21
psychological technique collective00:03:24
education you know when someone00:03:26
one thing doesn’t work, everyone00:03:27
else must repeat it with00:03:30
him until he hone his00:03:34
skills; this technique has its main effect00:03:37
not during use, but in the00:03:39
evening00:03:43
when the officers leave the unit, and even this00:03:47
unfortunate man is left alone with those who have been around00:03:49
all day helped him learn to march in this00:03:52
case, so the first day of00:03:56
drill Misha Goren attracted00:03:59
attention by the fact that he stubbornly did not know where00:04:01
right was where left,00:04:02
and even after being older by a full00:04:05
four hours, he forced our entire platoon to00:04:08
practice these most complex commands with him I00:04:11
still don’t remember the bears, but00:04:15
everyone remembered Misha, and when I00:04:18
woke up at night, Misha was standing on the bed in the00:04:21
toilet vertically on the back, the owner of the00:04:25
bed was tied to it with three00:04:27
belts, moved to the wall on the tile00:04:32
in front of Misha’s nose, only two words were written with a marker:00:04:38
left and right and two arrows the night passed00:04:46
interfering with sleep and the next morning it00:04:53
was simply unrecognizable, he literally00:04:55
read the foreman’s thoughts, turned where he00:04:59
needed to even before he had time to00:05:01
finish the command and but before we had time00:05:04
to relax, another surprise awaited us, it00:05:06
turned out that when we were on the first day00:05:08
received the uniform in the storeroom,00:05:11
Misha asked for boots of size 42,00:05:15
just in front of him someone took 42, the name Misha00:05:19
decided to sort it out, apparently a good foreman,00:05:24
so by eye, just in case, he gave him 43,00:05:27
but it turned out that despite your short00:05:28
height, your leg is at least 45 and00:05:32
naturally what running for two weeks,00:05:34
jumping and marching in boots 200:05:37
sizes too small, he had little00:05:39
left from his feet from the combat service, older than00:05:42
Misha, he took off his shoes and put them in slippers and for00:05:45
several days he just lived in the barracks, washed the00:05:47
floors there and carried00:05:49
loaves of bread from the canteen as a sergeant, in general, like00:05:53
could have defended the homeland00:05:58
[music]00:06:03
but00:06:06
[music]00:06:07
as I already said based on keeping00:06:10
separately and the most terrible of the officers00:06:13
was the commander of our training rabble,00:06:16
you call a whole senior lieutenant and then a00:06:19
friend on the weekend the regiment commander himself came to us in00:06:21
person to conduct a00:06:24
lesson on the topic of the company on the offensive, when00:06:28
he entered the barracks, the first person who caught00:06:31
his eye was naturally our00:06:34
lucky guy who was wearing slippers to00:06:38
water the flower, Misha simply couldn’t find00:06:43
the mug and the order had to be carried out and so he00:06:45
removed the flowers one by one, carried them,00:06:47
watered them from the tap, and bring00:06:53
the colonel, Private Goren I limited myself to a stingy00:06:55
hello and shuffling with my slippers we00:07:03
continued00:07:04
our route until the colonel was very surprised from such00:07:08
combat readiness, as they say in the army, until he00:07:11
called the sergeant major from having him00:07:15
put them back in his boots in full, and all of our00:07:19
ford in full force went out for00:07:20
tactical exercises to00:07:22
attack, we had to attack somehow a00:07:24
small village about five meters from the unit,00:07:26
you went there on skis in full combat00:07:28
gear, body armor, helmets and shovels and00:07:31
some kind of gas masks, nude commandos, it would00:07:33
just take 24 hours for the guys to get to the00:07:36
place, everyone was led by a personal colonel00:07:38
foreman, knowing Misha, he understood that00:07:43
during the attack the main the enemy will not be in00:07:45
the village, but among us, so he showed00:07:51
real soldierly savvy, he00:07:53
gave Misha a responsible task while00:07:57
we advance,00:07:58
he will guard the skis, in general, Misha00:08:02
holds the rear, we are at the forefront of the company on the00:08:06
offensive, this is a terrible force,00:08:07
we offend the chains, like in a movie about the First00:08:10
World War yes, at the command of the fall, they tried to00:08:13
stand up, there was about one and a half00:08:15
meters of soft snow below us, we fell00:08:17
through every meter, and in general, if that00:08:19
village had been guarded by at least one guard with a00:08:20
hunting rifle,00:08:23
our attack would have been drowned in blood, that00:08:26
is, in half an hour we were wallowing in the snow We00:08:34
had covered at most a third of the distance and the residents had00:08:37
already begun to lose interest in our00:08:38
assault. They slowly went home.00:08:44
The colonel took it as capitulation until he gave the00:08:49
command to retreat. We returned to our skis.00:08:51
Misha, to the surprise of everyone, kept them and we00:08:54
returned to the unit with them, we begin to00:08:57
hand over the equipment, that’s00:08:58
all there, no one gas masks00:09:05
guess who lost him 80 people00:09:12
forty minutes of the trigger the00:09:14
forester was lying around carrion crawling00:09:18
one stood to the side near the skis and lost his00:09:21
gas mask naturally the colonel00:09:24
could not turn a blind eye to the loss of such an00:09:26
important element of the state's defense capability00:09:28
and he lined us all up, gave the00:09:31
command to attention and sent the foreman00:09:33
to search for a gas mask foreman 40 years old00:09:38
he had some awards he ran through the00:09:41
snow there00:09:43
rocks Mishin gas mask thank God he found it00:09:47
or maybe he bought it where I don’t know he returned00:09:52
in all the rules he handed it over to the armory the00:09:55
colonel went to the unit the00:10:01
colonel left but silence remained00:10:05
in this In complete silence, Misha Goren was silent the loudest of all, the00:10:08
foreman silently walked00:10:13
back to the weapons room, opened00:10:16
the door again, found Mishin opposite, he remembered where00:10:18
Misha’s gas mask was, and until two o’clock00:10:22
for all classes in all formations, Private00:10:24
Goren walked in a00:10:28
gas mask of Zhidkov I00:10:29
meters, I’m burning, I’m grateful to Mezhigorye, well00:10:35
at least for the fact that now there is one00:10:37
story and this year has not passed in vain,00:10:40
he taught me something and we probably00:10:43
taught him something too00:10:45
and he will let his child learn at00:10:47
least until the 6th grade00:10:51
[music]00:10:59
he00:11:02
[music]Description:
Ржачная история Валерия Жидкова о своей службе в армии ГудНайтШоу Квартал 95 - все приколы - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pORFL5gD7s&list=PLBkkJh-fP7I2S_Mkl9JtjKKoCMMEjvlBD СТЕБЕТСЯ над КАРЛИКОМ смешно стендап https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T9T5cqV4K4 Ставь лайки и подписывайся на канал https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9y68tJYkb38ZyXUiYOoGhQ
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