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Download "РЖАКА про АРМИЮ угар прикол порвал зал - ГудНайтШоу Квартал 95"

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стендап
шутки
власть
армия
standup
приколы
ржака
ржач
угар
до слез
рвань
истерика
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приколы 2018
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смешное видео
пранк
приколюха
шоу
гуднайтшоу
квартал 95
вечерний квартал
лига смеха
валерий жидков
тамбовский волк
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00:00:01
when for five whole years
00:00:04
you are surrounded by people who are either students or
00:00:07
teachers, you get the feeling that the
00:00:09
whole world around you is busy with
00:00:11
greedily striving for knowledge and at the
00:00:14
same time the edge of your brain understands that somewhere out there there
00:00:16
are mysterious
00:00:18
assistant who, for some
00:00:21
reason understandable only to them, did not go to 10th grade,
00:00:23
but this is what it is, it is rather an exception to the
00:00:25
rule, the whole world lives according to my
00:00:27
institute law, the return from this
00:00:30
idyll to real life
00:00:31
happened quite abruptly, I delayed with my
00:00:33
diploma, defended vol on December 5 and on December 7th,
00:00:38
early in the morning, I was already bald and in military
00:00:40
uniform, but in those years it was somehow
00:00:44
not fashionable to serve and the doctors found all my peers
00:00:47
some terrible diseases and
00:00:51
inexpensively, but I don’t regret it at all, this year
00:00:55
taught me a lot firstly, I
00:00:58
saw that in mascara these are not
00:01:00
fantasies, there are very real people, there are
00:01:04
many more of them than there are of us in the institutes. I was
00:01:07
surprised to learn that there are people who
00:01:09
could not finish because and even those
00:01:13
who could not get there was the most
00:01:17
vivid impression of this year for place
00:01:20
in one soldier Misha Borin I want to give
00:01:24
him a few minutes of our show in my
00:01:28
opinion he certainly deserves it
00:01:34
[music]
00:01:40
perhaps initially the surname Goren
00:01:42
came from the word mountain but as for
00:01:45
Misha but definitely the chambers of the word grief he
00:01:50
came from some tiny force he
00:01:52
had to walk several kilometers to school,
00:01:53
and somewhere around the fourth
00:01:56
grade, his dad, the wisest man,
00:01:59
decided that it was enough for his son to trample his
00:02:01
shoes in vain, let him help with the
00:02:04
housework, and from the fourth grade
00:02:07
until the age of 20, Misha Gorin dutifully did what he did in the
00:02:10
summer a supply of provisions in the winter and
00:02:14
consumed sleep developed in the end, the
00:02:19
military registration and enlistment office workers dug up a
00:02:21
method nugget in the rich rural black soil and delivered it in its
00:02:24
original form
00:02:25
to the service of the fatherland
00:02:28
who served to know that at first the young
00:02:31
were kept separately from the main forces and in the so-
00:02:35
called quarantine and training camp I
00:02:37
him called the training rabble that I had never met so
00:02:41
many completely different people
00:02:43
in my life, the only thing
00:02:45
that united us all at least somehow was their
00:02:48
frightened faces and the uniform was not the right size;
00:02:52
in general, the army uniform has only two
00:02:54
sizes, so that they know it is small and large
00:02:59
3 it is simply not clear what in such
00:03:05
conditions, the recruit showed himself in grief, they did
00:03:08
not immediately notice mine about
00:03:11
two weeks later when all our rabble in full
00:03:13
force marched on the parade ground in
00:03:15
30-degree frost in May they were preparing to take the
00:03:18
oath in the army there is such a
00:03:21
psychological technique collective
00:03:24
education you know when someone
00:03:26
one thing doesn’t work, everyone
00:03:27
else must repeat it with
00:03:30
him until he hone his
00:03:34
skills; this technique has its main effect
00:03:37
not during use, but in the
00:03:39
evening
00:03:43
when the officers leave the unit, and even this
00:03:47
unfortunate man is left alone with those who have been around
00:03:49
all day helped him learn to march in this
00:03:52
case, so the first day of
00:03:56
drill Misha Goren attracted
00:03:59
attention by the fact that he stubbornly did not know where
00:04:01
right was where left,
00:04:02
and even after being older by a full
00:04:05
four hours, he forced our entire platoon to
00:04:08
practice these most complex commands with him I
00:04:11
still don’t remember the bears, but
00:04:15
everyone remembered Misha, and when I
00:04:18
woke up at night, Misha was standing on the bed in the
00:04:21
toilet vertically on the back, the owner of the
00:04:25
bed was tied to it with three
00:04:27
belts, moved to the wall on the tile
00:04:32
in front of Misha’s nose, only two words were written with a marker:
00:04:38
left and right and two arrows the night passed
00:04:46
interfering with sleep and the next morning it
00:04:53
was simply unrecognizable, he literally
00:04:55
read the foreman’s thoughts, turned where he
00:04:59
needed to even before he had time to
00:05:01
finish the command and but before we had time
00:05:04
to relax, another surprise awaited us, it
00:05:06
turned out that when we were on the first day
00:05:08
received the uniform in the storeroom,
00:05:11
Misha asked for boots of size 42,
00:05:15
just in front of him someone took 42, the name Misha
00:05:19
decided to sort it out, apparently a good foreman,
00:05:24
so by eye, just in case, he gave him 43,
00:05:27
but it turned out that despite your short
00:05:28
height, your leg is at least 45 and
00:05:32
naturally what running for two weeks,
00:05:34
jumping and marching in boots 2
00:05:37
sizes too small, he had little
00:05:39
left from his feet from the combat service, older than
00:05:42
Misha, he took off his shoes and put them in slippers and for
00:05:45
several days he just lived in the barracks, washed the
00:05:47
floors there and carried
00:05:49
loaves of bread from the canteen as a sergeant, in general, like
00:05:53
could have defended the homeland
00:05:58
[music]
00:06:03
but
00:06:06
[music]
00:06:07
as I already said based on keeping
00:06:10
separately and the most terrible of the officers
00:06:13
was the commander of our training rabble,
00:06:16
you call a whole senior lieutenant and then a
00:06:19
friend on the weekend the regiment commander himself came to us in
00:06:21
person to conduct a
00:06:24
lesson on the topic of the company on the offensive, when
00:06:28
he entered the barracks, the first person who caught
00:06:31
his eye was naturally our
00:06:34
lucky guy who was wearing slippers to
00:06:38
water the flower, Misha simply couldn’t find
00:06:43
the mug and the order had to be carried out and so he
00:06:45
removed the flowers one by one, carried them,
00:06:47
watered them from the tap, and bring
00:06:53
the colonel, Private Goren I limited myself to a stingy
00:06:55
hello and shuffling with my slippers we
00:07:03
continued
00:07:04
our route until the colonel was very surprised from such
00:07:08
combat readiness, as they say in the army, until he
00:07:11
called the sergeant major from having him
00:07:15
put them back in his boots in full, and all of our
00:07:19
ford in full force went out for
00:07:20
tactical exercises to
00:07:22
attack, we had to attack somehow a
00:07:24
small village about five meters from the unit,
00:07:26
you went there on skis in full combat
00:07:28
gear, body armor, helmets and shovels and
00:07:31
some kind of gas masks, nude commandos, it would
00:07:33
just take 24 hours for the guys to get to the
00:07:36
place, everyone was led by a personal colonel
00:07:38
foreman, knowing Misha, he understood that
00:07:43
during the attack the main the enemy will not be in
00:07:45
the village, but among us, so he showed
00:07:51
real soldierly savvy, he
00:07:53
gave Misha a responsible task while
00:07:57
we advance,
00:07:58
he will guard the skis, in general, Misha
00:08:02
holds the rear, we are at the forefront of the company on the
00:08:06
offensive, this is a terrible force,
00:08:07
we offend the chains, like in a movie about the First
00:08:10
World War yes, at the command of the fall, they tried to
00:08:13
stand up, there was about one and a half
00:08:15
meters of soft snow below us, we fell
00:08:17
through every meter, and in general, if that
00:08:19
village had been guarded by at least one guard with a
00:08:20
hunting rifle,
00:08:23
our attack would have been drowned in blood, that
00:08:26
is, in half an hour we were wallowing in the snow We
00:08:34
had covered at most a third of the distance and the residents had
00:08:37
already begun to lose interest in our
00:08:38
assault. They slowly went home.
00:08:44
The colonel took it as capitulation until he gave the
00:08:49
command to retreat. We returned to our skis.
00:08:51
Misha, to the surprise of everyone, kept them and we
00:08:54
returned to the unit with them, we begin to
00:08:57
hand over the equipment, that’s
00:08:58
all there, no one gas masks
00:09:05
guess who lost him 80 people
00:09:12
forty minutes of the trigger the
00:09:14
forester was lying around carrion crawling
00:09:18
one stood to the side near the skis and lost his
00:09:21
gas mask naturally the colonel
00:09:24
could not turn a blind eye to the loss of such an
00:09:26
important element of the state's defense capability
00:09:28
and he lined us all up, gave the
00:09:31
command to attention and sent the foreman
00:09:33
to search for a gas mask foreman 40 years old
00:09:38
he had some awards he ran through the
00:09:41
snow there
00:09:43
rocks Mishin gas mask thank God he found it
00:09:47
or maybe he bought it where I don’t know he returned
00:09:52
in all the rules he handed it over to the armory the
00:09:55
colonel went to the unit the
00:10:01
colonel left but silence remained
00:10:05
in this In complete silence, Misha Goren was silent the loudest of all, the
00:10:08
foreman silently walked
00:10:13
back to the weapons room, opened
00:10:16
the door again, found Mishin opposite, he remembered where
00:10:18
Misha’s gas mask was, and until two o’clock
00:10:22
for all classes in all formations, Private
00:10:24
Goren walked in a
00:10:28
gas mask of Zhidkov I
00:10:29
meters, I’m burning, I’m grateful to Mezhigorye, well
00:10:35
at least for the fact that now there is one
00:10:37
story and this year has not passed in vain,
00:10:40
he taught me something and we probably
00:10:43
taught him something too
00:10:45
and he will let his child learn at
00:10:47
least until the 6th grade
00:10:51
[music]
00:10:59
he
00:11:02
[music]

Description:

Ржачная история Валерия Жидкова о своей службе в армии ГудНайтШоу Квартал 95 - все приколы - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pORFL5gD7s&list=PLBkkJh-fP7I2S_Mkl9JtjKKoCMMEjvlBD СТЕБЕТСЯ над КАРЛИКОМ смешно стендап https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T9T5cqV4K4 Ставь лайки и подписывайся на канал https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9y68tJYkb38ZyXUiYOoGhQ

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