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Russian
00:00:02
[music]00:00:07
hour our country's most powerful weapon is the00:00:10
poplar, but in the 18th century the most powerful00:00:14
weapon of our country was it,00:00:16
meet the greatest commander00:00:17
Alexander Vasilyevich Suvorov00:00:20
[music]00:00:27
and Alexander Suvorov hello,00:00:29
long ago I began to destroy Turkey for Russian tourists00:00:34
if the tourists captured the maximum slippers00:00:37
from the hotel then I captured Ismail I’m the00:00:40
coolest commander from Russia I had00:00:43
more than 60 battles in all of them I won I’m00:00:46
like that you know so that you can understand more clearly00:00:48
Khabib from the world of commanders and I’m00:00:52
sure that Khabib also once00:00:55
fought with soap00:00:56
so look at me there were 32 wounds,00:00:59
two of them were combat wounds and 30 when I made00:01:02
these wonderful curls because I had00:01:06
burns from the flesh, it was very painful, I00:01:09
had all the orders that00:01:12
were in the Russian Empire, everything00:01:15
can be said, I went through the Russian army00:01:17
on the dress, I have an order St.00:01:21
George Order of St. Andrew the00:01:22
First-Called00:01:24
Order of St. Alexander Nevsky Order of00:01:27
St. Vladimir Smith and in Russia were already00:01:29
ending I continued to perform00:01:31
feats00:01:35
in the end for the transition to the resolution they gave me a00:01:37
golden gramophone and00:01:41
1100 so to the heap the00:01:44
official title I have Suvorov00:01:46
Rybinsky Rem Yansky take why00:01:48
I’ll write down that this is generally ram dick this is00:01:50
unknown to those who kir no rybnik this is a00:01:52
river in Romania where I defeated the Turks and if00:01:56
I had known about this in advance I would have won and00:01:59
somewhere else I would have sent a00:02:01
messenger with news like His Excellency00:02:04
will deign to give you [ __ ] in Venice my00:02:11
patronymic is Vasilyevich, my name is Alexander00:02:13
Vasilyevich, I, like Maslyakov, are00:02:17
generally similar in sight and he, I00:02:21
control armies of loyal people, and he, too,00:02:25
I saw a glorious battle and a bunch of00:02:28
horse crap,00:02:31
by the way, my son also achieved nothing,00:02:37
there was no nickname general forward for my00:02:40
tenacity and perseverance,00:02:42
but my wife sometimes said the lieutenant00:02:45
whether his00:02:46
name was never children on the side00:02:49
because I was not only a general forward but00:02:51
also a field marshal during the time ago in00:02:56
general I was a good father so my wife00:02:59
said general forward a little to the left00:03:02
forward forward still forward forward forward00:03:07
thank you for the service, General00:03:09
they tell me that the name is Alexander00:03:12
Suvorov and every morning I got up00:03:16
two hours before dawn, doused myself with cold00:03:18
water, did jogging and exercises and was like00:03:20
these kids who00:03:24
douse themselves in basins in the snow in winter, like00:03:26
look at him, come out, he’s such a crazy mind00:03:28
broke my heart in the fold to the smoke, well, everyone,00:03:35
I’m the author of the phrase, it’s hard in training, easy in00:03:39
battle, cool phrases, agree, as if from00:03:42
some boy’s public, I really00:03:43
really regret it,00:03:45
I really regret that the use was of00:03:47
boys’ publics, because can00:03:48
you imagine I’m standing in front of a company of soldiers and00:03:50
it’s so crazy you can be the first and00:03:53
all the soldiers fly into battle not with a shout of hurray00:03:56
with a shout, but00:03:58
there is a legend that I taught the soldiers00:04:01
to march and how did I get attached to the left leg to the00:04:04
right straw and commanded00:04:06
hay-straw hay-straw it’s a pity that00:04:09
there is no legend where he taught00:04:10
Edward Bell to march on his left leg, would you tie it00:04:13
on the right, why are you schmuck, it wo00:04:16
n’t work out because you can’t00:04:18
tie anything to your right leg gorda00:04:20
bella because there’s a bracelet there,00:04:22
I’m cool, I took that commander’s glasses from the00:04:26
graves in 1590, although I would have been even smarter00:04:29
would take bitcoin 2016 would00:04:31
take Ismail it was Dessalines very00:04:34
difficult at that time they said that the00:04:37
Danube would sooner flow backwards and the sky would fall to the00:04:39
ground than Ismail would surrender and to me Ismail00:04:42
surrendered since then the Turks stopped00:04:46
attacking the Russians the man did not understand that it was00:04:48
useless to compete with them they00:04:49
switched to Russian women began00:04:51
to attack them on Instagram wild for centuries,00:04:54
the most important achievement is undoubtedly the00:04:56
flight over the Alps, now I was not mistaken00:04:59
precisely the flight because even there I00:05:01
managed to integrate my aviasales advertising,00:05:05
what did I do, I mean, from the Russian army I00:05:08
crossed the Alps, we were both evolis in France at that time00:05:10
it really was00:05:12
somehow impossible it was very00:05:15
difficult how can I explain to you how00:05:16
difficult it was just imagine you00:05:18
are returning from Auchan you have 12 bags in your00:05:21
hands and the elevator is not working00:05:23
the most important thing the fight was over the damn00:05:26
bridge over the damn bridge and I didn’t call it00:05:29
that's what if I called it, I would00:05:31
call it differently, I would call it00:05:33
[ __ ] [ __ ], how can I live here?00:05:44
and we dismantled the hut00:05:46
and, with the help of silk scarves, tied00:05:49
the boards and crossed,00:05:51
so listen to your mother, wear a ball [ __ ]00:05:53
hat, this00:05:55
will help someone to capture they only00:05:58
live in bed for a day, then the overcoat from00:06:00
us from our ingenuity, if only we had00:06:02
blue tape in our hands, the bridge stood00:06:04
I would still be responsible00:06:09
for the campaigns, we did a devastating only00:06:13
one Swiss campaign, but we did it very00:06:14
quietly so as not to disturb the vacationing00:06:17
oligarchs from Russia, I won everything and I’m all00:06:20
happy that you are continuing this work,00:06:22
you are also winning, I’m now talking about the00:06:23
guys who are winning from Russia at the00:06:25
Olympiads in Physics, Chemistry, Informatics,00:06:28
it’s cool because you know the proverb:00:06:29
hard in learning, easy in battle, and I’m confident in00:06:32
your knowledge and an hour to beat00:06:33
anyone I’m glad that, in principle, the Turks00:06:37
can taste one more time Russian Yulya00:06:42
or Lyulya from the Russians,00:06:46
thank you all Alexander Suvorov General00:06:51
[music] the00:06:57
sex of the whole world should be grateful to00:07:01
Yuma for the provided00:07:03
assortment, meet the brands, they throw00:07:09
[music]00:07:15
as my name is Marquis de Sade,00:07:17
please don’t be the Marquis de Parc, don’t00:07:19
do this with the Marquis de00:07:21
forest belt, don’t confuse me, I00:07:24
beg you, by the way, if you didn’t like that00:07:25
joke, maybe they’ll tell me to spank the00:07:27
Marquis de Sade, but you probably00:07:29
know, but like stamps with BDSM, about this a little00:07:31
later, let me tell you who I am, I’m the00:07:33
person after whom00:07:35
sadism was named, you know what I’m00:07:38
telling the wind, I can’t suffer since you ask00:07:41
my little one to listen to everything about sadism,00:07:44
you get sexual pleasure from the00:07:46
fact that another person has bad morals00:07:48
or physically, my followers are00:07:51
semolina and kindergarten00:07:55
in this boredom, I was left alone, just at the00:07:57
age of 14, I was sent to war, but the00:07:59
seven-year war at the age of 14, you understand, and00:08:02
then he is surprised what is wrong with his00:08:03
psyche, well, you can just 16 years I00:08:05
was already a dowel, no,00:08:07
the girl left at 16, she still didn’t00:08:09
wait for another five years for me to wait for a new one00:08:12
at 19, just finish it00:08:15
when I came from the army, I immediately got married00:08:18
right away, I got married, that wasn’t enough for me,00:08:20
you understand so I went to a dating house, a00:08:24
beautiful name for dating years, but00:08:28
I just understood this in short, that00:08:31
’s why I went there as a wife type of00:08:34
dating00:08:36
because a small conflict is a bigger00:08:38
conflict, so I had to go back00:08:40
again to become a military man or they00:08:42
opened a Marseilles case against me, yes, yes00:08:44
they opened00:08:46
a year, in short, I’ll give with one girl,00:08:49
together with his servants, he did everything00:08:51
that Pierre Woodman did, you know, well, there,00:08:53
when the judge read out the verdict three00:08:56
times, he went out to smoke00:08:57
there, all the jurors were sitting with pillows on their00:09:00
knees, there the prosecutor shouted, I protest00:09:03
and give me napkins, please, important ones and00:09:07
more,00:09:10
so they beat the living room with sticks we00:09:14
also hit nettles with sticks and00:09:16
don’t trap mistresses, you’re also white, in00:09:19
general, the joke there was that you can00:09:22
hit with anything, the main thing is love00:09:24
to listen to a lot of things, I was00:09:26
put in prison and in prison I wrote a00:09:27
book 120 days of sodom or school of debauchery00:09:30
by the way while I I was in prison, I washed it00:09:32
too, I came up with the idea of staying00:09:37
home, this is a city that00:09:40
was destroyed by God for the sins of the inhabitants of00:09:43
this city, you know, and by chance00:09:45
this is a village in the Kirov region00:09:48
where the chairman also wants this00:09:51
village to be destroyed because the inhabitants00:09:54
sin a lot under the sins of him means00:09:55
that residents very often record a video of00:09:57
Putin’s appeal,00:10:00
the plot of the book is very simple, now a man is00:10:03
locked up in a deputy for 4 months with 38 people and00:10:06
they do things there that even Volochkova would00:10:09
say, the boys are overkill,00:10:17
many emperors can come to you, and when they00:10:20
rule the state, they are inspired00:10:22
books, let’s say, when Catherine the00:10:25
Second ruled the Russian Empire, she00:10:27
read ru her Voltaire to understand what is00:10:29
happening in the world now, it seems to me that00:10:31
Zelensky re-read 120 days of sodom00:10:34
so bothered you know such Altai00:10:36
erotic improvement00:10:41
what were you in00:10:44
short, she also came up with it, I was00:10:47
sentenced to the gallows and I I was thinking about00:10:49
what not to try to give it, it’s like there’s00:10:51
no way, it’s very cool, my daughter is00:10:54
cool, she advises everyone, I’ll just say right away00:10:55
with the guillotine, it won’t work for the00:10:57
guys, I didn’t finish the job,00:11:00
and00:11:01
besides the fact that I’m a pervert, I’m also a00:11:04
participant in the great French revolution,00:11:06
but I don’t read the great one because it00:11:08
wasn’t sexy, after that I was00:11:10
appointed a juror in a revolutionary case00:11:12
and00:11:14
everyone was afraid of me because everyone read00:11:17
my books, they knew that I knew how to punish00:11:19
for the entire time I was a juror, I didn’t00:11:22
execute a single criminal, all00:11:24
because they knew the safe word, look,00:11:27
all my life I’ve been trying to convey to people that there are00:11:30
no limits, no laws,00:11:32
do what you want, have fun,00:11:34
relax, do what you want, as long as00:11:38
it works locally only at the00:11:40
birthday party of the head of the State Traffic Safety Inspectorate of the Stavropol Territory,00:11:43
only00:11:45
me so rarely someone insulation tell you to00:11:48
experiment more00:11:49
then I thought it was dangerous I’ll tell00:11:51
you another thought guys under no00:11:53
circumstances under no00:11:55
circumstances don’t forget the safe word of the00:12:01
majors’ firmware scrap this is the end00:12:05
of you was the end of the Marquis de Sade00:12:10
[ music]00:12:16
his operas last at least 5 hours you're00:12:19
lucky and his ones are much shorter00:12:22
the greatest German musician and00:12:25
composer and not the lead singer of the Ramstein group00:12:27
meet Richard Wagner00:12:33
[music]00:12:37
[applause]00:12:42
annoying music in this advertisement who00:12:45
even writes such a thing but it's me and00:12:48
wrote by00:12:49
Wilhelm Richard Wagner you have all heard00:12:53
my music, it’s a pity that 99 percent of the00:12:56
people who now listen to my music are00:12:59
usually on the phone yes of course [ __ ] my00:13:01
call is important for you00:13:04
who likes opera if anything I’m not talking about00:13:07
the browser00:13:09
although it’s not by chance that they called it that00:13:12
way it’s very easy to confuse the slow one with00:13:15
opera, I carried out an opera reform, I00:13:19
understand the opera reform sounds as00:13:21
if I renamed the police into the police,00:13:22
but00:13:24
I didn’t make it so that the opera was00:13:27
deeper, more meaningful, so that you00:13:30
wouldn’t have a single chance of not falling asleep in the hall,00:13:33
I wrote opera cycle the Ring of the Nibelung00:13:37
which lasts 16 hours will disappoint00:13:40
some women we are not talking about a00:13:42
promotional ring00:13:44
no the ring of the Nibelung this is an opera cycle00:13:48
consisting of such epic operas as00:13:51
Gold of the Rhein00:13:53
Valkyrie00:13:55
Siegfried doom of the gods00:13:58
justice league00:14:01
styles finale00:14:03
even this list is very boring to listen to,00:14:06
let alone poker00:14:08
the death of the gods this morning lasts 6:15 the00:14:13
longest work in the world although00:14:15
in short the gods partied all night did not sleep00:14:19
then they went to classes and died there 6:1500:14:24
until they bought a blazer the blazer00:14:26
emphasizes that everything was a very long time ago00:14:28
indeed, initially I wrote a00:14:31
version that lasted 12 and a half00:14:33
hours I just repeated the first part00:14:36
twice but then I got caught because00:14:39
someone decided to listen to the works to the00:14:41
end,00:14:42
yes, such people are the same people00:14:46
who read every00:14:47
user agreement to the end,00:14:50
you also call them [ __ ] nerds, I00:14:54
avoided the number 13 in every possible way I never00:14:57
scheduled a premiere on the 13th at once on the00:14:59
14th my house didn’t have 13 rooms at once 1400:15:04
even in love affairs superstition is00:15:07
great you can always say Katrin I’m00:15:09
very superstitious so only 1200:15:11
centimeters forgive me I00:15:12
moved very often I had00:15:15
big financial problems and I was00:15:17
stressed by collectors your time it was fashionable to00:15:19
write on walls Tsoi is alive in my time00:15:22
they wrote on walls in Europe in agnar rat00:15:24
give back your money I was married twice my00:15:28
first wife was several years older than00:15:29
me the second was normal00:15:33
by the way she was the daughter of also the famous00:15:37
composer Ferenc sheet00:15:39
so in fact I [ __ ] A4 from my00:15:43
second marriage I have three children two00:15:45
daughters made of ice and his and son Siegfried I00:15:50
adored my son only because of him I00:15:53
didn’t leave the family I didn’t want to quit the ridge00:15:56
after my death some kind of thing started00:15:58
worshiping me, for example, in my honor00:16:01
they built Neuschwanstein Castle,00:16:04
excuse me, by the way, from German this00:16:07
translates as a new swan stone in00:16:10
my honor they laid a stone it sounds as00:16:12
if in honor of Wagner they made the most00:16:14
expensive bookmark in the world in00:16:17
the year you were envious of me, usually for a00:16:20
woman a man can’t for several months00:16:22
nail an ordinary stick in the house, they made00:16:24
a lock for me and didn’t even give anyone a00:16:27
prostate massage, but they did it for me00:16:30
I inspired a huge number of00:16:32
talented composers and 1 completely00:16:35
mediocre artist I was00:16:38
Hitler’s favorite composer yes yes I also thought00:16:40
that morgen stern00:16:43
is indicated even Hitler has a principle of00:16:45
this00:16:50
flight of the valkyries was the official00:16:53
anthem backlash of the board00:16:56
then everyone worked with adolf i made a00:17:00
gem for the luftwaffe hugo boss was the00:17:01
designer of the nazi uniform if adik00:17:04
were alive now one hundred percent worked with00:17:06
tim cook00:17:07
well, selling an iphone without charging is00:17:10
not genocide,00:17:12
by the way the flight is already close Valkyries quite00:17:14
disturbing music is much more pleasant when00:17:17
you are bombed because we are00:17:21
from the flight of the Valkyries the film apocalypse00:17:24
today the American Air Force is pouring00:17:28
napalm into Vietnam in general in terms of the number of00:17:30
murders with my music I can compete00:17:33
with music for Rey if my music00:17:36
was put on the alarm clock it would be ideal00:17:38
association that my music is death00:17:41
in general, I was a radical anti-Semite,00:17:43
anti-Semitism was very popular at that00:17:45
time in Europe, almost like syphilis,00:17:48
then anything could stick to you,00:17:51
any rubbish,00:17:52
yes, I am a great composer, but it seems to me,00:17:55
according to Earl, they will overtake me because00:17:58
Hitler loved me and his more General Staff00:18:01
choose the right people thank you all00:18:06
[music]Description:
Первая StandUp-комедия от исторических личностей! Популярные комики в образах на сцене Исторического Стендап-Клуба! В сегодняшнем выпуске исторического стендапа выступают Рихард Вагнер, Александр Васильевич Суворов, Маркиз де Сад Вильге́льм Ри́хард Ва́гнер — немецкий композитор, дирижёр. Крупнейший реформатор оперы, оказавший значительное влияние на европейскую музыкальную культуру, особенно немецкую, в особенности на развитие оперных и симфонических жанров. Алекса́ндр Васи́льевич Суво́ров — русский полководец, основоположник русской военной теории. Донасье́н Альфо́нс Франсуа́ де Сад — французский аристократ, политик, писатель и философ. Был проповедником идеи абсолютной свободы, которая не была бы ограничена ни нравственностью, ни религией, ни правом. Так же, на нашем канале на сцене стендап-клуба вы сможете увидеть великих исторических деятелей: Пётр I, Толстой, Павлова, Чайковский, Иван III, Менделеев, Спартак, Лжедмитрий Чингисхан, Мерилин Монро, Фёдор Достоевский, Александр Первый, Никита Хрущёв, Христофор Колумб, Гай Юлий Цезарь, Исаак Левитан, Григорий Распутин, Жанна Д'Арк, Александр Сергеевич Пушкин, Алексей Михайлович Романов, Екатерина 2, Иван Грозный, Михайло Ломоносов, Пересвет, Михаил Кутузов, Александр Невский и многие другие. В ролях: Рихард Вагнер - Денис Смирнов Александр Суворов - Александр Копчёнов Маркиз Де Сад - Роберт Экке Проект связан не только с юмором, но ещё и с историей, поэтому выполняет развлекательно-просветительскую миссию. Подпишись на нас везде: Инстаграм: https://www.facebook.com/unsupportedbrowser ВК: https://vk.com/historical_standup ТикТок: https://www.tiktok.com/@historical_st... Яндекс.Дзен: https://dzen.ru/historical_standup Яндекс.Музыка: https://music.yandex.ru/album/16436996 Подкасты: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/csbs-stand-up Тайм-коды 0:30 Суворов про свои сражения и награды 2:37 Суворов про свое прозвище 3:36 Суворов про свои фразы и легенды 4:54 Суворов про свои достижения и победы 7:29 Маркиз про свою жизнь 9:10 Маркиз про любовниц 9:25 Маркиз про тюрьму и книгу Содому 10:35 Маркиз про удушение и стоп слово 10:39 Вагнер про свою музыку и оперную реформу 14:53 Вагнер про число 13 и переезды 15:25 Вагнер про свой брак и жён 15:56 Вагнер про свою смерть
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Which format of "ИСТОРИЧЕСКИЙ СТЕНДАП: Вагнер, Суворов, Маркиз де Сад" video should I choose?
The best quality formats are FullHD (1080p), 2K (1440p), 4K (2160p) and 8K (4320p). The higher the resolution of your screen, the higher the video quality should be. However, there are other factors to consider: download speed, amount of free space, and device performance during playback.
Why does my computer freeze when loading a "ИСТОРИЧЕСКИЙ СТЕНДАП: Вагнер, Суворов, Маркиз де Сад" video?
The browser/computer should not freeze completely! If this happens, please report it with a link to the video. Sometimes videos cannot be downloaded directly in a suitable format, so we have added the ability to convert the file to the desired format. In some cases, this process may actively use computer resources.
How can I download "ИСТОРИЧЕСКИЙ СТЕНДАП: Вагнер, Суворов, Маркиз де Сад" video to my phone?
You can download a video to your smartphone using the website or the PWA application UDL Lite. It is also possible to send a download link via QR code using the UDL Helper extension.
How can I download an audio track (music) to MP3 "ИСТОРИЧЕСКИЙ СТЕНДАП: Вагнер, Суворов, Маркиз де Сад"?
The most convenient way is to use the UDL Client program, which supports converting video to MP3 format. In some cases, MP3 can also be downloaded through the UDL Helper extension.
How can I save a frame from a video "ИСТОРИЧЕСКИЙ СТЕНДАП: Вагнер, Суворов, Маркиз де Сад"?
This feature is available in the UDL Helper extension. Make sure that "Show the video snapshot button" is checked in the settings. A camera icon should appear in the lower right corner of the player to the left of the "Settings" icon. When you click on it, the current frame from the video will be saved to your computer in JPEG format.
What's the price of all this stuff?
It costs nothing. Our services are absolutely free for all users. There are no PRO subscriptions, no restrictions on the number or maximum length of downloaded videos.