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Jealousy (Quotation Subject)

ревность

как

побороть

ревновать

почему

психотерапия

ревнивый

ревнивыймуж

ревниваяжена

жена

муж

семья

дети

деньги

успех

ненависть

любовь

отношения

связь

женатый

замужем

бредревности

маразм

психология

00:00:01

Good afternoon, friends, let's talk about jealousy,

00:00:04

jealousy is a witch with green eyes

00:00:06

or a green-eyed monster, as Shakespeare wrote about

00:00:09

it. Let's take a little look at

00:00:12

what jealousy consists of. The roots of jealousy lie

00:00:16

in our beast in ancient times, yes. And in

00:00:20

our biology, it is our instinct, the instinct to

00:00:24

protect our territory.

00:00:27

I protect my male, my breadwinner, the

00:00:30

male protects his female, remember in

00:00:33

animals it is very clearly expressed how they

00:00:35

protect their mate, just like

00:00:38

monkeys protect Yes,

00:00:40

he won’t let anyone near

00:00:43

his female, his territory, exactly the same thing

00:00:45

happens to humans at the level

00:00:47

biology I will now talk about the fact

00:00:49

that this is a combination of

00:00:51

biological factors. Yes, jealousy is social, that is the

00:00:54

environment in which a person grew up and

00:00:56

psychologically, I will pay more

00:00:58

attention to this factor, the

00:01:00

psychological factor, they say

00:01:02

jealous means he loves. This does not

00:01:05

mean at all that he loves, this means the fact

00:01:08

that he is, in principle, a jealous person And

00:01:10

in general they say that if he loves, he

00:01:12

will not act like that even as he is greedy, he

00:01:15

will love like a greedy poet, he will

00:01:18

love like a poet due to his own

00:01:20

personal qualities, and some cattle

00:01:24

man will love like a cattle man. and

00:01:26

everything is as he knows how, that is, and

00:01:28

nothing like that happens to him when he

00:01:31

falls in love, his personal qualities

00:01:33

do not change because of this, he just fell in love. But

00:01:37

let’s say, as before, he remains greedy, and

00:01:39

so on and so forth about jealousy,

00:01:41

where it is very important, jealousy is important as a

00:01:44

seasoning in a relationship this is

00:01:46

completely understandable Yes, it is very understandable and

00:01:48

jealousy is very important in a family in order to

00:01:50

maintain this small social group, the

00:01:53

family and set these boundaries, people are

00:01:55

jealous of each other in this way they

00:01:57

outline the boundaries, this is what is allowed and what is

00:02:00

not allowed in a Jewish family, these

00:02:02

will be the same boundaries in a Russian in a family, these

00:02:04

will be other boundaries. And in an Arab family,

00:02:07

these will be third boundaries, that is, some kind of

00:02:10

non-nesting

00:02:30

If we talk about jealousy, then all the

00:02:32

children are jealous of each other, they are jealous of brothers and

00:02:34

sisters, of mom and dad, even

00:02:37

animals are jealous, and a friend of a friend

00:02:43

is jealous, this can spread

00:02:45

almost I’m jealous of my car for everything

00:02:49

Let’s look at the psychological aspect

00:02:52

What does it consist of and very often I hear

00:02:54

from a psychologist low self-esteem low

00:02:56

self-esteem certainly low self-esteem is

00:02:59

one of the factors in the manifestation of this

00:03:02

jealousy of occurrence one of the factors is

00:03:04

not always a person with low self-esteem

00:03:07

but will be jealous and a jealous person will not always

00:03:10

have low self-esteem;

00:03:11

as many times as you like, you can come across a case

00:03:14

with a completely adequate self-esteem, a

00:03:16

man is fine, but a crazy person is

00:03:19

absolutely jealous. Today, by the way, we will not

00:03:21

consider psychiatry,

00:03:23

psychiatry, delusions of jealousy, and so on and so

00:03:25

forth, because this can

00:03:27

go as far as

00:03:29

We will consider such serious dimensions precisely at the level of

00:03:32

such more or less

00:03:35

adequate jealousy, more or less some

00:03:37

kind of conditional health, after all, the

00:03:39

next point is low self-esteem as a

00:03:42

factor as not some factor of which

00:03:44

jealousy, egocentrism, that

00:03:48

is, everything can consist everything should revolve around me

00:03:50

everything should revolve around me yes the

00:03:52

person is so absorbed in his own

00:03:54

person especially one child in the family and

00:03:57

I am the only daughter in the family and I am so jealous

00:04:00

everything everything to me all attention should be to me

00:04:04

my my everything should belong to me

00:04:07

this I say as personally, I myself am

00:04:09

the only daughter my mother has a family

00:04:12

following the garden masochism This is the most

00:04:15

interesting component in jealousy,

00:04:18

those who now listen more deeply to this

00:04:23

information will reach them,

00:04:26

maybe someone will recognize themselves, I’m now talking about

00:04:29

those People who are tormented by this jealousy tormented

00:04:33

by what does She

00:04:35

consist of such an Sado-masochic Aspect?

00:04:38

Let's see, but in my work I

00:04:41

came across a huge number of

00:04:43

men for some reason, well, men came with this

00:04:46

who wanted

00:04:49

his wife to have sex with

00:04:53

other men, and by the way, this is

00:04:56

the basis of a swing party, that's all This is That

00:05:00

feeling I I ask the question what kind of

00:05:02

feeling is jealousy jealousy This is what

00:05:05

excites him Yes, remember very often in

00:05:07

sexual games A man says Oh, you’re a

00:05:09

dirty [ __ ] That is, he wants

00:05:12

you to be a dirty [ __ ], that you

00:05:14

seem to have slept with someone, this excites him,

00:05:17

what’s in his head there is jealousy Yes,

00:05:19

he has jealousy and so he writes And besides,

00:05:22

many men come to correspond Well,

00:05:24

he’s ashamed, he’s so ashamed to turn on the

00:05:26

webcam and say that he

00:05:28

prefers to write, but that he creates

00:05:32

all sorts of social pages supposedly for his

00:05:35

wife, attaches these endless

00:05:37

photographs of her with corresponds with someone on her

00:05:40

behalf in order to experience this powerful feeling of

00:05:43

jealousy. Yes, jealousy, he wants to beat her for this,

00:05:47

but not only to beat her, and he

00:05:50

also wants to flog Nava. That is, everything here in

00:05:53

totality, the next man writes that

00:05:55

here I am, I married a [ __ ] so that without the end of

00:06:00

experiencing this

00:06:01

and this passion out of jealousy And now it

00:06:05

comes I want her to meet

00:06:07

another man she comes

00:06:09

sperm flows out of her and I suck this sperm from her

00:06:14

work with him Perhaps

00:06:17

this is some kind of latent form of

00:06:18

homosexuality and he wants And to suck the

00:06:21

sperm, he is trying to join

00:06:23

some man through it And I had one

00:06:26

like this, as if such a hypothesis no no It

00:06:30

turned out that jealousy is the

00:06:33

main Aspect in all this passion of theirs,

00:06:37

that he is constantly trying

00:06:39

to slip it to some peasant maybe to

00:06:42

even look into the well and listen in and

00:06:44

here he is disturbing it, I ask what kind of

00:06:47

feeling are you Bura, what is this jealousy,

00:06:50

jealousy, I say at first, he doesn’t

00:06:52

understand that Oh, this Aspect

00:06:54

of jealousy here is like a game of two Sado-

00:06:57

masochists, she’s like a masochist and he’s like a

00:07:00

sadist, only this doesn’t happen at the level of a

00:07:03

specific beating. Although now I

00:07:05

’ll also cite this case as an example. But at the level of

00:07:07

moral such psychological

00:07:09

suffering and torturing oneself. So they

00:07:12

torture each other. This game is also a very

00:07:15

tight connection that happens between a

00:07:16

man and a woman, the next one is like this

00:07:19

moment I remembered a couple I had,

00:07:21

she tells him I cheated on you, I

00:07:23

went there to the south in Evpatoria, I cheated on you there,

00:07:25

she admitted it to him, how

00:07:28

she cheated on him, and they agreed

00:07:30

together that she would serve her sentence, the

00:07:33

punishment was that he tied her with

00:07:35

handcuffs to the radiator and that means I beat

00:07:38

her, she had it once a week or

00:07:40

some kind of ritual, that is, for

00:07:42

a year or I don’t remember two, they had to

00:07:45

go through this. This is the punishment And so

00:07:47

she absolutely could not track her

00:07:52

interest in this That is, she

00:07:54

she saw herself that she was simply

00:07:55

married to such a freak who was making fun of her as a

00:07:58

friend, she was deprived of this

00:08:01

opportunity to see that it was her choice,

00:08:04

her desire to sacrifice herself to

00:08:07

feel this

00:08:08

masochism, this mockery of gravity,

00:08:11

these above herself This is

00:08:14

jealousy This is what it consists of Why is

00:08:16

this such a feeling There is a lot of pleasure in it

00:08:20

in addition to suffering Exactly like

00:08:22

in depression, in depression there is also a

00:08:24

lot of pleasure Yes, depression It is

00:08:27

terrible But there is a lot of pleasure in it,

00:08:29

just like in jealousy there is a lot of

00:08:32

suffering in it and if you look a little

00:08:35

deeper there is a lot of pleasure in it

00:08:38

because ask a jealous person what you

00:08:41

want to do with the object of jealousy, he wo

00:08:43

n’t tell you I want to get rid of him,

00:08:45

he won’t tell you I want us to

00:08:48

get divorced, he won’t say I want so that he

00:08:52

is happy Or that he will say

00:08:54

one thing to himself: I want him to suffer, that is, there is

00:08:59

very powerful sadomasochism here.

00:09:09

But if he thinks deeply, he will

00:09:13

most likely

00:09:14

agree with me, so so so so so so I

00:09:18

told you And now about the main thing, what to do

00:09:20

here A lot of people ask: Well, what should

00:09:22

we do, what should we do, in the end with

00:09:24

this jealousy, what to do means what to

00:09:26

do here is a very important point,

00:09:29

firstly, this is happening for real,

00:09:32

she really is cheating,

00:09:35

she’s really wagging her tail. It’s really

00:09:37

worth it to be jealous.

00:09:40

reasons, if they exist, then here it is important

00:09:42

to trace where these reasons are because a

00:09:44

very large number of women do it

00:09:47

out of insecurity in relationships. This is what

00:09:49

she flirts with other men very

00:09:51

imperceptibly and he seems to understand that she is

00:09:53

not doing anything special, but he

00:09:56

reads these reasons because if I

00:09:59

don’t want men around me to

00:10:01

look at me, they won’t look at me no matter how

00:10:02

beautiful I am, they won’t But

00:10:05

if I want men to look at me

00:10:07

They will all look at

00:10:09

me I will send them something,

00:10:12

send something and my man will

00:10:16

read this and be jealous of me Yes, and I beat you

00:10:18

for it, that’s all So very often she

00:10:21

says I don’t know, like she’s not

00:10:23

doing anything to me, she’s not cheating on me And I’m so

00:10:25

jealous of her because she broadcasts

00:10:26

these sexual vibrations of hers because

00:10:29

She wants her husband to be jealous of her so

00:10:31

she wants to receive the attention of

00:10:33

these men in this way she amuses her raises her

00:10:37

self-esteem nurtures her pride I am in demand I am in demand

00:10:40

this is a very common one I’m

00:10:41

saying now The most common

00:10:43

case here by the way is also about Sado-

00:10:46

masochism Please note attention, and jealous

00:10:49

women often take a handsome

00:10:51

husband as their husband. So she will take him, this

00:10:54

handsome man, and she is jealous, jealous and

00:10:56

jealous. Well, you knew, yes, that is, that

00:10:59

is, this is about the unconscious choice

00:11:01

to experience this feeling. Why

00:11:03

was there something like that in childhood? it

00:11:05

was a traumatic story with mom and dad,

00:11:07

something like that happened in childhood,

00:11:09

she pulled it out from there and now she’s trying to

00:11:11

act out this scenario in adulthood,

00:11:13

work it out, live it. Yes, so

00:11:16

she chooses this handsome guy,

00:11:17

suffers with him, suffers or does not

00:11:20

handsome and some kind of ladies' man, let's say obvious,

00:11:22

she didn't take for herself such a

00:11:24

passive boring man who

00:11:26

clung to her skirt and hangs on this

00:11:28

skirt, it's impossible to be jealous, she didn't

00:11:31

take for herself such a thing, she took for herself such a

00:11:33

hoho, he ran and twirled his tail, that's

00:11:36

all, that's hers there was a choice, there was a need for

00:11:38

some kind of

00:11:40

suffering. So, as for what

00:11:42

to do, she said, if there is a reason,

00:11:44

then we’ll figure out what it is. What kind of reason? How do things need

00:11:46

to be changed? the

00:11:51

third family lives, you

00:11:53

need to look And if it’s much more important

00:11:57

here if there is no reason there is no reason And

00:12:00

I’m an insanely jealous person, well, it’s crazy

00:12:03

what to do about it, firstly, change jobs

00:12:06

Well, you say, Well, now should I

00:12:08

change jobs If this is very important for you

00:12:10

and you jealousy is exhausted, you need

00:12:14

to change jobs because you work

00:12:16

in a team where there is a lot of your gender

00:12:19

and you need the opposite sex. Here she

00:12:22

works as a woman in this

00:12:24

endless group of women where she has all the

00:12:26

teachers, of course she will be

00:12:27

jealous of this man of hers, of course

00:12:30

she will think about him endlessly how is he

00:12:32

there, what is he there, who is he calling? And if she

00:12:35

works in a male team, then

00:12:37

this racial jealousy will focus on everyone and

00:12:41

everything and she will come home

00:12:43

calmly, plus on top of everything, she will

00:12:45

receive a bunch of bonuses in the form of praise, she

00:12:47

will groom or damage her self-esteem yes,

00:12:49

and everything will be fine, she will be

00:12:52

satisfied to come there, they told her

00:12:54

something there, kissed her hand here,

00:12:56

gave her a gift here, the door was opened, she

00:12:58

will come home calmly. This is a

00:13:00

very important moment to dilute yourself with the

00:13:03

opposite sex so that there are

00:13:05

a lot of them around, a lot of them, that is, if you

00:13:07

a man and you are jealous of your woman, then in

00:13:09

your team there should be many

00:13:11

beautiful women. You must touch it.

00:13:28

Sometimes it happens like an attack of jealousy,

00:13:30

even like this.

00:13:38

tyry-tyry tyry

00:13:40

you need to look not thoughts strengthen but

00:13:43

feelings and sensations immersed, immersed

00:13:46

your inner gaze deep into yourself and

00:13:48

strengthened strengthened strengthened strengthened

00:13:50

even some kind of Scream will go like this, such a heart-rending one

00:13:53

because it’s really some kind of

00:13:54

Green Witch sitting this heart-rending Scream

00:13:57

you can take here so here's a pillow

00:13:59

here Take a pillow and scream into the

00:14:03

pillow even press it directly tightly and

00:14:06

scream into the pillow this heart-rending

00:14:08

Scream

00:14:10

And yes, this is what I said strengthen strengthen

00:14:14

strengthen strengthen strengthen strengthen This is the

00:14:17

next moment -

00:14:19

very few people in a couple can do this frankness maintaining

00:14:22

frankness, openness

00:14:24

means absolutely, and this needs to be demonstrated

00:14:26

starting with oneself, so few people know how to do this, you

00:14:29

need to learn everything, here I am, I

00:14:32

speak openly, I openly express

00:14:34

my feelings, I walk around the apartment naked, I

00:14:37

don’t hide my computers, my phones,

00:14:40

everything is open. and I’m open I’m

00:14:42

open and call on your partners

00:14:45

to show us we’re being demonstrated We’re open

00:14:48

Because when it starts here it’s closed

00:14:49

here it’s closed There it’s closed here it’s hidden here there’s a

00:14:51

pin code here a pin and here we are all

00:14:53

classified like that then everything

00:14:56

becomes unclear behind the awnings Yes a

00:14:59

Mystery appears, some question there shouldn’t be a

00:15:02

special question, please, everything

00:15:05

is open, everything is

00:15:06

open, everything seems to be like this, I

00:15:08

told you everything quickly, quickly,

00:15:11

quickly, I told you about everything, I’m waiting for

00:15:13

you at my consultations on Sky. All the

00:15:15

best,

00:15:17

goodbye

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