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литературное чтение

сатира

моноспектакль

Старое Радио

ГосТелеРадиофонд

00:00:03

Retired Major General Buldeev

00:00:07

had a toothache.

00:00:09

He rinsed his mouth with vodka and cognac,

00:00:12

applied tobacco soot to the sore tooth,

00:00:15

opium turpentine, kerosene,

00:00:20

smeared his cheek with iodine, in his ears he had cotton wool

00:00:24

soaked in alcohol, but all this either did not

00:00:28

help or caused nausea;

00:00:37

hina, but it didn’t help, when

00:00:41

asked to pull out a bad tooth,

00:00:45

the general refused, all the household,

00:00:50

wife, children, servants, even the cook Petka,

00:00:53

offered every remedy, by

00:00:57

the way, and the clerk was a tree, Ivan

00:00:59

Evseevich came to him and advised him to undergo treatment

00:01:01

with a conspiracy

00:01:03

here in our district, your representative office

00:01:06

said he was 10 years old ago he served as an excise officer,

00:01:10

Yak Vasilyevich spoke with his teeth, first

00:01:14

grade, he used to turn to the window, whisper,

00:01:17

spit, and like a hand of strength He has such food

00:01:21

Where is he now,

00:01:24

and after he was fired from the excise

00:01:27

in Saratov, you generally live now

00:01:30

only with his teeth, if a

00:01:32

person has a toothache then they go to him, the

00:01:34

local worker from the Arabs helps him at home, he

00:01:38

uses it, and if they are from other

00:01:40

cities, then by telegraph

00:01:43

Send him your plus dphal that you are so little,

00:01:48

so God’s servant Alex’s teeth hurt,

00:01:51

please use it And send money for the treatment of the

00:01:54

post office is

00:01:56

nonsense

00:01:58

quackery and you try

00:02:01

to join yours before vodka, a very hunter

00:02:05

lives not with his wife, but with a German woman, a scolder, but

00:02:10

you can say a

00:02:11

miraculous gentleman, let’s go Alyosha

00:02:15

begged with the general, you don’t believe in the

00:02:18

conspiracy, I experienced it on myself Although you don’t

00:02:21

believe it, but don’t send anything, your hands won’t

00:02:24

fall off from this

00:02:26

Well, okay agreed there were gays here, not

00:02:30

only that as a cisdum, to hell

00:02:34

send a message

00:02:35

about there is no urine Well, where do your activists live

00:02:39

how to write to him, the

00:02:42

general sat down at the table and took the pen in

00:02:45

his hands in Saratov, every dog knows

00:02:48

the clerk said the execution of writing your faces in the

00:02:53

city of Saratov So it became to his honor

00:02:57

Mr. Yak Vasilyevich

00:03:02

Vasily

00:03:04

but

00:03:07

Vasily what to

00:03:09

Yakov Vasilyevich

00:03:11

and by last name

00:03:14

and last name you forgot

00:03:18

Vasily a little Damn what is his last name Just now

00:03:22

I remembered how I came here, Let me,

00:03:26

Ivan Alekseevich raised his eyes to the ceiling

00:03:28

and moved his lips

00:03:30

Buldeev and the general were waiting impatiently

00:03:33

But what rather think now

00:03:37

Vasilyevich Yakov Vasilich

00:03:42

forgot such a simple surname as if there were

00:03:46

horse mares there is no one

00:03:50

Wait

00:03:52

Stallions something No I don’t remember the

00:03:56

surname horse Which one

00:03:59

knocked the

00:04:00

foals out of my head No way, no Wait kobylin

00:04:05

kovyryatniki males it’s

00:04:08

a dog’s horse they are horse

00:04:13

fryers no and not stallions horses

00:04:19

horses are rare it’s

00:04:22

all wrong,

00:04:24

but how am I going to write to him,

00:04:27

think about it

00:04:29

now,

00:04:31

horsey Kobylkin,

00:04:35

a native

00:04:36

Karenikov, asked the general’s wife. No,

00:04:41

three Styazhkin, no, I forgot. So why the

00:04:47

hell are you bothering with advice, if you forgot,

00:04:52

the general got angry? Get out of here,

00:04:59

Ivan Evseevich slowly walked out and the general

00:05:02

grabbed him himself by the cheek and walked through

00:05:05

the rooms of my father

00:05:07

Babylon oh mother

00:05:11

Oh I don’t see the white light

00:05:16

the clerk went out into the garden and raising his eyes to the sky

00:05:19

began to remember the name of the excise

00:05:22

stallion

00:05:24

Zherebkovsky foal of the

00:05:26

horses

00:05:34

Zherebkovich Kobylyansky

00:05:38

a little later he was called to the gentlemen

00:05:41

remembered asked the general No way your

00:05:45

Excellency maybe Konyavsky

00:05:49

there are no horse owners and in the house everyone

00:05:54

began to invent surnames during the break; they went through all

00:05:57

ages; the hollow breeds of horses; they remembered the

00:06:01

mane; hooves; harness in the house; in

00:06:18

his hoof,

00:06:24

Zherebovsky

00:06:27

No way,

00:06:28

Ivan Evseevich answered and, raising

00:06:32

his eyes, continued to think out loud Konenko

00:06:34

Konchenko

00:06:39

zherebev mares

00:06:41

dad

00:06:42

shouted from the children's troika

00:06:46

bridle

00:06:49

excited the whole estate

00:06:52

The impatient,

00:06:53

tortured general promised to give rubles to the one

00:06:58

who remembered the real name and

00:07:03

whole crowds of bays began to follow Ivan Evseevich

00:07:11

racist

00:07:13

horseman,

00:07:17

but evening came

00:07:19

and the last name was still not found

00:07:22

and went to bed without sending a telegram,

00:07:28

the general did not sleep all night,

00:07:31

walked from corner to corner and moaned

00:07:36

at three o'clock in the morning, he left the house and

00:07:38

knocked on the window of the clerk, did

00:07:42

he ask if he was crying?

00:07:46

there is no

00:07:47

hesitation to come with a voice

00:07:53

Yes, maybe the surname is not horse, but

00:07:57

some other

00:08:00

true word, your plus

00:08:03

horse. I remember very well

00:08:08

which one to take from the memoryless one.

00:08:12

Now this surname seems more expensive than anything

00:08:15

in the world. I was

00:08:17

tormented

00:08:22

in the morning; the general sent for the doctor again;

00:08:27

let him vomit; he decided

00:08:30

There is no more strength to endure, the

00:08:34

doctor came and pulled out the aching tooth,

00:08:38

the pain subsided immediately and the general

00:08:41

calmed down,

00:08:42

did his job and having received what follows for the

00:08:46

work, the doctor got into his river and

00:08:48

drove home. Outside the gates in the field he

00:08:52

met Ivan and Vsevich the clerk stood

00:08:55

on the edge of the road and looking intently

00:08:58

at his feet, he was thinking about something.

00:09:02

Judging by the wrinkles furrowing his forehead and the

00:09:06

expression of his eyes,

00:09:09

thinking he was

00:09:11

tense and

00:09:14

painfully

00:09:16

Bulanov through Sedelnikov

00:09:20

muttered

00:09:22

Zasuponina

00:09:24

horse Ivan Evseevich turned to him

00:09:28

the doctor can I darling buy you a

00:09:31

quarter of five oats they sell me ours

00:09:35

men sheep souls painfully bad

00:09:39

Ivan Evseevich

00:09:41

looked blankly at the doctor

00:09:45

as you

00:09:46

smiled wildly and without saying a single word in response,

00:09:52

clasped his hands and ran to bite without

00:09:56

such speed, as if a

00:09:59

mad dog was chasing him, he thought up your close,

00:10:04

he shouted joyfully, in a voice not his own,

00:10:07

flying into the general’s office, he thought up God forbid

00:10:18

the name of the excise officer

00:10:24

send you to show the sheep

00:10:30

for mowing, said the general with contempt and

00:10:35

raised two cookies to his face.

00:10:39

Now I don’t need your horse’s

00:10:43

name

00:10:45

for the jamb.

Description:

Запись 1981 года. У генерала Булдеева заболел зуб. Да так сильно, что ничего не помогало. Совсем отчаялся генерал - а рвать страшно. И тут заявился к нему приказчик, да и рассказал, что, дескать, живёт неподалёку один мужик, зубы заговаривает. И таким мастерством обладает - всякому поможет! Владимир Павлович Басов (28.07.1923г., село Уразово (ныне - пгт Уразово, Валуйский р-н, Белгородская обл.) - 17.09.1987г., г. Москва) - советский актёр, кинорежиссёр и сценарист. Народный артист СССР (1983). Лауреат Государственной премии РСФСР им. братьев Васильевых (1982).

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