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Download "Турники - разбойники | Уральские пельмени 2023"

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Video tags

уральские пельмени
азбука уральских пельменей
уральские пельмени последний выпуск
уральские пельмени 2023
стс
стс сериалы
юмористическое шоу уральские пельмени
уральские пельмени лучшее
уральские пельмени премьера на стс
уральские пельмени новое
ксения корнева
дмитрий брекоткин
вячеслав мясников
дмитрий соколов
сергей рожков
уральские пельмени новое 2023
роман постовалов
турники-разбойники уральские пельмени 2023
турники разбойники уральские пельмени
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  • ruRussian
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00:00:02
a Well settled Watch and manage
00:00:06
Beeline TV in the Up tariff and it’s profitable Add
00:00:08
home Internet cartoons online games
00:00:11
live broadcasts and all this in one of my
00:00:14
tariffs
00:00:16
Beeline is on your side
00:00:21
[music] [
00:00:40
music] [music
00:00:47
] [
00:01:25
applause] [
00:01:29
music]
00:01:49
let's go hands up
00:01:52
hands below hands to the left hands to the right above and
00:01:58
below
00:02:02
together
00:02:07
[music] it’s
00:02:10
always nice to start concerts
00:02:13
especially Our new sports concert horizontal
00:02:15
bars robbers have gone
00:02:17
[music]
00:02:53
[applause]
00:02:58
[music]
00:03:06
[applause]
00:03:10
man, I saw that you are not blind
00:03:15
I was just blinded by your beauty
00:03:19
original Thank you I also have
00:03:24
one
00:03:25
incurable disease I need a
00:03:28
heart transplant because my heart belongs to
00:03:31
you
00:03:32
how interesting
00:03:48
[applause]
00:03:55
What is Dimon The place is busy come on come on
00:04:24
Oh what an interesting dog what kind of
00:04:28
breed is this
00:04:31
Russian greyhound
00:04:40
ate a mushroom and went potty Opana
00:04:51
close both sides at all
00:04:55
Yes, no question
00:04:58
[music]
00:05:03
[applause]
00:05:06
[music]
00:05:11
man man,
00:05:18
how did you end up here Come on, you
00:05:21
don’t know this is our story, the
00:05:24
navigator took me through the forest for 40 minutes until it
00:05:26
brought me to this clearing,
00:05:28
a girl, I need you a grandiose business
00:05:30
proposal, yes, let’s
00:05:34
do your sports things with your body like this And I
00:05:36
’ll put up a kiosk with drinks
00:05:38
for those with dry throats from you, we
00:05:43
’ll share very honestly 80 percent
00:05:46
of course for you Well, the rest 120 to me
00:05:51
80
00:05:52
80 to 120 also doesn’t happen, believe me
00:05:56
under pressure, this is how a
00:06:30
sports party happens Yes, that’s why
00:06:33
I want to introduce you to someone
00:06:35
Dima, come in
00:06:37
[music]
00:06:45
Meet me It’s me, I
00:06:49
mean, I hired a person who will
00:06:52
play sports instead of me
00:06:54
and the bench Well, how do you like me?
00:06:59
What is cute
00:07:04
Now I’ll keep an eye on behind you in the literal
00:07:08
sense of the word
00:07:15
[applause]
00:07:31
Come on,
00:07:41
where did you run?
00:07:44
Try to catch up with
00:07:52
Ksyushenka Who was
00:07:55
my coach? They
00:07:58
didn’t train. We stood here in the woods and sharpened them,
00:08:01
so this is the coach
00:08:11
[music]
00:08:17
[applause]
00:08:21
what kind of bunch of mine is this here?
00:08:25
Indecent desires
00:08:27
are worth such a yummy
00:08:31
Good evening
00:08:40
[applause]
00:08:58
[applause]
00:09:00
Ilona,
00:09:02
I've been waiting in the car for two hours, let's
00:09:04
hurry up
00:09:05
[music]
00:09:06
yes, I'm coming I'm coming Dad, what does this
00:09:11
say,
00:09:14
actually, we're doing sports here And
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gawking is a nice bonus
00:09:27
[music]
00:10:04
[music]
00:10:05
[applause]
00:10:23
[music]
00:10:27
the most important thing is to work out in a T-shirt
00:10:34
[music]
00:10:38
[applause]
00:10:44
in the family of a teenager there is always someone
00:10:47
annoying
00:10:50
[music]
00:10:54
Well, I decided to go to the gym,
00:10:56
I want to go home and buy a subscription for my son. Well, where do
00:10:59
you think that kind of money goes? for sports,
00:11:01
to do
00:11:02
what we have at home for sports, a
00:11:24
health disk, a health
00:11:26
disk,
00:11:28
and what to listen to,
00:11:31
Dad, how to use it. Give me some
00:11:34
incompetent that you don’t understand. Look like
00:11:39
this. Once and there it is, here it is
00:11:43
[applause]
00:11:46
affects your health. Everything you do now,
00:12:06
what this is a
00:12:08
hardened donut, this is a
00:12:11
hardened donut, what is
00:12:25
how to use it, just like that,
00:12:27
you lock it again and you’ll save 20,000 dad,
00:12:34
okay, something else Wow, what is this? And the
00:12:38
wheel from the Car
00:12:41
is a press to pump Oh well, how does it
00:12:45
work, 50 percent works in
00:12:47
I mean,
00:12:49
you’re going forward like this, but it
00:12:55
doesn’t work,
00:13:06
two different things, I’m also
00:13:12
looking at an expander, you’re training, the most important thing is not to stand on the side
00:13:15
so that it doesn’t fly into your eyes, the
00:13:18
most important thing is to practice in a T-shirt
00:13:34
without a wire. Lord, you’re a fool, you’re
00:13:38
a jump rope,
00:13:40
you weren’t even in the world,
00:13:45
but after the eighth grade we as if after
00:13:48
the holidays they came to school physical education
00:13:51
mother Let's jump rope right
00:13:57
here
00:14:04
Nevermind Listen, I used to
00:14:07
be able to do all sorts of things, this is all this, well
00:14:09
Previously, too, all sorts of small
00:14:15
things, dad What is this And this is a tennis
00:14:18
ball
00:14:19
rackets
00:14:21
will come today today I’ll show you nothing like that
00:14:29
quietly quietly quietly don’t touch it
00:14:41
[applause]
00:14:55
and that’s it, you calmly study during the day And at
00:14:58
night there’s an anti-glutton alarm
00:15:02
Yeah, you’ll hear how it works now
00:15:05
[music]
00:15:08
Well, why did you hang it up during the day? At
00:15:11
night I understand, but during the day Can I
00:15:14
go to the kitchen in general please, what is this
00:15:17
bat atlas of highways
00:15:19
Kalmyks tutorial on playing the
00:15:22
ringed harp Dostoevsky War and peace is
00:15:25
all for tennis in the sense
00:15:34
and this is clear I know it’s a siphon Oh my God,
00:15:38
what kind of side does it have? What does it have to do with
00:15:40
sports? this is not for sports at all,
00:15:42
God, I lost it Three years ago, why did you
00:15:45
stuff it in there? It’s lemonade, make your
00:15:47
son lemonade, cool, what are you doing there,
00:15:49
why for sports, for sports, for
00:15:52
sports, of course you
00:15:54
won’t find these gas cans before
00:15:57
50 shops and run around until you buy them,
00:16:02
so they said now they say 5,000
00:16:05
kilocalories burned
00:16:07
And I understood this is an expander with a flashlight, you
00:16:10
know, an expander is needed so that
00:16:13
you can hold out for at least 5 minutes
00:16:17
still in the country, walk to the toilet and
00:16:20
fall into it
00:16:21
after that I started working out
00:16:25
Listen and this What is this for? Well,
00:16:29
guess, let's figure it out. No, I knew
00:16:33
that this was from the time of the Inquisition, but I didn't
00:16:36
know that plastic was already invented to
00:16:39
torture, what do you understand,
00:16:42
Kuznetsov's applicator, so Give it back to the Kuznetsovs,
00:16:48
Wow, what is this, this is a badminton racket,
00:16:52
right,
00:16:53
Oh, there's a whole lot of son there history of the sanatorium My
00:16:57
dad and I were relaxing Well, we were playing badminton and
00:17:00
we had a shuttlecock on a tree. My dad got stuck and
00:17:03
knocked the shuttlecock down.
00:17:08
I had a shuttlecock from the tree and a racket
00:17:18
on the other side, a memory if a racket
00:17:21
was possible for you and there was no reason in the world. Well, there’s nothing else to do with just
00:17:24
one racket
00:17:28
and there’s nothing else to do,
00:17:35
what is it? his new ones are coming carry the most
00:17:40
convenient and popular exercise machine in the Soviet Union
00:17:42
What kind of exercise machine Now you will see
00:17:45
the neighbors
00:17:47
here is such a machine
00:17:50
here for you
00:17:53
deadlift and tenacity of the fingers
00:17:56
calf muscles Let's arrange Well that's it
00:18:00
dad I'll probably go Yes this is the end of
00:18:02
our sports Well educational program what the
00:18:04
end is just the beginning What the beginning of the
00:18:07
self-instructional tennis tournament
00:18:32
[applause]
00:18:34
[music]
00:18:38
[applause] [
00:18:40
music]
00:18:51
By the way, your door is open and you
00:18:55
opened it on purpose to make it easier to carry you out
00:18:59
[music]
00:19:03
[applause] [
00:19:07
music]
00:19:17
By the way, your door is open, you
00:19:21
opened it on purpose to make it easier to bear with you,
00:19:25
Yura
00:19:28
brought it there in the kitchen, standing for the kittens, they
00:19:33
entered, they want to take Kuklachev
00:21:21
[applause]
00:23:37
[applause] [
00:24:36
music]
00:24:57
scary unusual [
00:25:05
music]
00:25:09
[applause]
00:25:11
[music]
00:25:15
some girls, having waited for the prince on a
00:25:19
white horse, subsequently choose a horse,
00:25:23
so here from the table where the newlyweds will
00:25:27
sit above them there will be such an arch, an arch
00:25:30
right there means
00:25:32
clouds, hearts made of paper and swans And as a
00:25:36
gift we will sit Yeah, I got it So
00:25:39
you know, actually, we are parents We usually
00:25:41
seat them on the right side of the table, it’s
00:25:43
great
00:25:46
for drinking so that the kids would be interested in
00:25:49
watching the wedding
00:25:55
and somehow I understood that you are getting
00:26:00
married,
00:26:01
I’m getting married, that’s what I wanted to say. It’s just that you’re
00:26:04
such an old adult, scary, unusual,
00:26:12
like blue cheese,
00:26:15
that you’re disgusting, it’s not an acquired taste
00:26:20
and I don’t bother making coffee for me, just make it without
00:26:23
mold, I understand, don’t add mold
00:26:26
[music]
00:26:56
something like this girls,
00:27:15
Lord, it was when they still
00:27:17
sold cigarettes without diagnoses.
00:27:19
Let's see what's there. So that
00:27:23
means, and there's an
00:27:26
agreement. So we have a reservation. Three friends
00:27:33
promise to be on Ksyusha T9, you'll be in the seventh
00:27:37
grade, didn't bother me, let's hurry up before the
00:27:40
notebook is stained with blood,
00:27:42
we promise that if the first one of us
00:27:46
will get married
00:27:49
at the wedding
00:27:57
[applause]
00:28:01
but what can we promise
00:28:05
Ksyukh, everything is serious here, the vow in
00:28:07
DiCaprio’s photo
00:28:10
I would girls fulfill their vows if
00:28:13
one of you got married first I have
00:28:16
never refused you anything, I’m
00:28:17
always there was you remember Ksyukha when
00:28:20
you were deprived of your license for drunkenness toast Drank
00:28:22
I was
00:28:27
breathing into the phone and sent the traffic police when they
00:28:31
arrived
00:28:34
you didn’t break your arm
00:28:41
because already at 14 she looked like her
00:28:46
friends now, well wait eleo
00:28:50
Nora no one is more
00:29:00
serious than just the prices of teeth
00:29:04
[applause]
00:29:08
Well bye no, I decided to pay you to consult with you.
00:29:12
So look, well, I
00:29:30
don’t know, they’re all the same.
00:29:37
If I were getting married, I’d
00:29:40
go in mine, especially since Eleanor White
00:29:42
makes you look fat, honestly
00:29:43
[music]
00:29:50
Listen, I can’t do this in three
00:29:53
days I’m working on this,
00:29:59
okay, you’ll just transfer the money to the card
00:30:01
and everyone will go.
00:30:35
So girls, I also wanted to consult with you
00:30:37
about the cake. Well, I don’t know.
00:30:40
If I were getting married, I would have
00:30:42
refused the cake altogether; it still
00:30:44
never comes to me. It’s just a waste of money,
00:30:46
wait a minute, but how to sell
00:30:48
the first piece no cake needed Let's
00:30:52
decide how many cakes in height we'll
00:30:54
make one
00:30:55
and we'll bake everything ourselves
00:31:01
changed my mind Hello which bank is shorter doesn't matter
00:31:06
What's your name in short Vyacheslav Let me give
00:31:09
you three numbers on the back of the card and you
00:31:10
marry me Where are you
00:31:13
lying now where to go the
00:31:18
sailor is in Sochi somewhere
00:31:22
What three years Do you need me tomorrow in
00:31:25
three years
00:31:39
42 to 58 you are marrying a dwarf with
00:31:43
huge feet where we
00:31:46
will find such huge shoes from the Lenin monument
00:31:48
we will take off on the square 58 suit 42 shift shift
00:31:52
he is like a schoolboy
00:31:55
Yes, he has a noble profession, he’s a
00:31:59
teacher, he’s working on
00:32:06
the seventh day and didn’t even change his clothes, he
00:32:12
ran. So okay, what are
00:32:16
you doing here? I’m working until what time.
00:32:20
Although it doesn’t matter, your plans for the evening
00:32:22
have changed, let’s go
00:32:24
where you’ll find out your passport,
00:32:27
great, girls, we invite you to
00:32:31
our wedding tomorrow, yes, yes
00:32:51
Kalugin What are you doing? I didn’t understand for the
00:32:53
solution to my wedding issue, it was
00:32:56
I who brought them together with Ksyukha
00:33:01
And now I have unlimited here, he also
00:33:03
works here as a waiter
00:33:06
Hello Ernest Karlovich Yes, I know that we have
00:33:09
a session only next week But I
00:33:12
need it now because your tranquilizers are not helping me
00:33:29
[applause]
00:33:31
[music]
00:33:49
[music]
00:33:59
Seryoga was
00:34:01
bald,
00:34:02
thin, bearded and drinking
00:34:07
[music]
00:34:11
[applause] [
00:34:12
music]
00:34:16
now I'll go out
00:34:19
and here I am Hello friends, why did I
00:34:23
say hello because I'm the only one here, a
00:34:25
strange habit of saying hello to a chair
00:34:28
and a table
00:34:30
Well how are you doing? Why did I ask? They
00:34:34
still won’t answer me. Oh well, I’ll
00:34:37
do what I know best; I
00:34:39
’ll write an autobiography. So let’s start.
00:34:43
I grew up as an ordinary boy. I was ordinary and
00:34:48
grew up. One day I left my house
00:34:52
on the street and there on the street I met with a
00:34:56
guy
00:34:58
Hello,
00:35:00
what's your name Seryoga
00:35:04
Seryoga was
00:35:06
bald,
00:35:07
thin, bearded,
00:35:13
except for the
00:35:24
rutabaga,
00:35:25
I was poorly dressed at the time and was cold,
00:35:29
then Serezha stood up and gave me his
00:35:31
jacket.
00:35:38
I was still cold, and then
00:35:40
Serezha reluctantly gave me his pants,
00:35:45
took off his pants and gave them to me. to me
00:35:52
you are tough Seryozha
00:35:55
Unfortunately he took his phone out of his pants
00:35:57
and didn’t give it to me
00:36:01
or was it wrong But it’s definitely not like that
00:36:06
Ah Childhood childhood you don’t remember everything
00:36:11
but then then I grew up my
00:36:14
hair grew longer I decided to go to
00:36:17
the barbershop and get a haircut
00:36:26
And then I I met her
00:36:29
[music]
00:36:32
she was standing
00:36:35
not far from the trash can and she brought me
00:36:39
my wig but it was
00:36:41
his own job
00:36:45
Yes, I thought straight from the trash can and onto my
00:36:48
head
00:36:51
she was shaking from the cold and jumping up
00:36:55
to warm up
00:36:57
But I didn’t understand
00:37:00
that You were bitten by a tick,
00:37:03
what’s your name
00:37:05
Yaroslava Her name was Emilia,
00:37:10
I immediately wanted to amaze her to the depths of my
00:37:13
soul, so I whispered rutabaga loudly in her ear,
00:37:18
we stood for a long time and looked at each other,
00:37:22
she seemed smart and well-read to me, and
00:37:25
I asked the museum What is it called?
00:37:29
I wasn’t there, I went to another one,
00:37:41
she resisted for a long time,
00:37:44
but
00:37:46
I wasn’t an ordinary woman for long, I was sitting at a
00:37:49
concert of Ural dumplings, a
00:37:52
huge man came up to me, he
00:37:54
smelled strongly of garlic and confidence,
00:37:57
it was my favorite smell. When I was
00:38:00
in the zone
00:38:03
on an excursion with the school,
00:38:06
at that time the whole school put us
00:38:10
on a bus and took us to the zone there. We
00:38:15
stayed for 10 years because the zone is the
00:38:18
best school, you can learn a lot from it,
00:38:20
we had a strange school, but
00:38:23
not as strange as this guy,
00:38:32
she said something, I didn’t understand what we
00:38:36
took with her
00:38:40
[music]
00:38:54
[music]
00:38:55
I just tried to remember
00:38:58
one line
00:39:01
only Senya sucks his eyes
00:39:05
my favorite lines I also decided to
00:39:09
answer with Tyutchev’s poems I
00:39:12
was silent for a long time how is this so I’m a person with a
00:39:16
higher education I can’t remember
00:39:18
a single poem by Tyutchev Well okay
00:39:21
Byron so Byron
00:39:25
Anyway, no one will understand anything in German
00:39:28
Guten like that
00:39:30
I immediately understood everything, she was an ignorant
00:39:37
Englishman
00:39:39
and I went back to the educated and
00:39:46
well-read No, she never remembered And we were
00:39:50
surprised
00:39:59
It’s strange that she forgot the word
00:40:22
and sailed away and she shouted to me goodbye
00:40:33
But there was no time, the
00:40:36
steamer had already blown its whistle, it
00:40:42
began to boil the water
00:40:48
started the engine,
00:40:59
I decided not to interfere. Apparently they were busy with something
00:41:07
in the hold
00:41:11
and the ship sailed, I moved away from her, she
00:41:16
stood on the shore crying and waving at me
00:41:19
with a handkerchief or whatever it was, his
00:41:22
hand did
00:41:25
not turn into a fat point
00:41:39
[applause]
00:41:47
[music]
00:41:54
[ music]
00:42:00
David Is it possible to find out Why you came to me
00:42:03
They will guess
00:42:05
that I will be so happy for this You will be so
00:42:08
happy that you are so quick-witted
00:42:11
[music]
00:42:16
[applause] [
00:42:18
music]
00:42:29
[applause] I
00:42:31
came to you for a reason
00:42:34
Dear David I know that it’s
00:42:38
not customary to do anything in our culture for a reason
00:42:40
Just
00:42:43
because why did you come to me
00:42:54
Okay, I’ll try to guess it has to do with
00:42:58
money No, it has nothing to do
00:43:00
with money at all then I have no more
00:43:02
options
00:43:04
Okay, I’ll give you a little hint You tell me
00:43:07
Could you sit with the child for a little while?
00:43:08
Tell me, Dear David,
00:43:11
how long should I sit with the child,
00:43:14
ideally 13 years of age? If
00:43:20
you don’t mind, then at least 7 days. As you see it, I see myself very clearly,
00:43:23
you are sitting with the child. And I’m going on a
00:43:25
business trip.
00:43:27
I understand that money is not included in this chain,
00:43:31
I reported to you so that someone who is absolutely
00:43:33
quick-witted can
00:43:37
find out. Can I go to Saratov? Tell me,
00:43:40
dear David,
00:43:42
he plans to pay money for work in Saratov. By
00:43:45
this question, you are getting in the way of a
00:43:48
difficult, long and absolutely
00:43:50
useless conversation,
00:43:55
that is, we are excluding money from our
00:43:58
negotiations. Tell me more, it didn’t even
00:44:00
include
00:44:06
everyone except the Jews.
00:44:14
Please tell me. What will we
00:44:16
do with this child then if we have
00:44:18
completely excluded the subject of the dispute? Everything is the
00:44:21
same as at the beginning of the conversation. You
00:44:23
will sit with the child. And I will
00:44:25
go on a business trip without the child.
00:44:27
Tell me. what's your baby's name Music
00:44:30
come here Your name is finally
00:44:32
Wait Nobody's calling anyone Let him
00:44:35
stand where he was standing He can
00:44:37
sneak somewhere to hide and then
00:44:39
I won't find him We can just sit on the couch and have
00:44:42
something to eat because-
00:44:44
brought something with us
00:44:47
No, we were counting on you
00:44:49
well, we can just sit on the
00:44:51
couch and watch TV No, no
00:44:53
need to put pressure, let’s not exchange
00:44:55
conversation furniture, food, household
00:44:57
appliances
00:44:58
Please tell me your child can
00:45:00
do some work for a small
00:45:03
financial fee Of course you can,
00:45:06
here’s ours the conversation returned to its usual
00:45:09
course
00:45:13
What types of work can this child do,
00:45:19
pay hourly But I will say from experience it’s better to
00:45:22
pay I
00:45:24
would like to know the prices very simply
00:45:27
you send me a photo I exhausted
00:45:29
you with prices plus your percentage
00:45:34
So let’s summarize you leave me
00:45:37
the baby so that I can sit with him and for it’s
00:45:40
me who will pay you money, I
00:45:45
absolutely definitely caught that we are with whom
00:45:49
something about it confuses you. The only thing that confuses me is that
00:45:52
I am your brother.
00:45:55
Don’t worry, the tariffs are made taking into
00:45:58
account our relationship. I
00:46:00
hope the prices will be lower.
00:46:05
our parents,
00:46:07
if they were here, they said that they would be
00:46:10
here when we fully pay for the fact
00:46:13
that they gave birth to us.
00:46:16
It’s so good that there were two of us. David
00:46:18
definitely didn’t get one loan
00:46:22
at all. He should sit with this child.
00:46:24
Dear Joseph, because this child
00:46:45
[music]
00:47:03
[music ]
00:47:15
Mom Kolya I donated blood today, but Tamara
00:47:18
Igorevna, not all of it, you drank the blood out of me,
00:47:21
I donated blood to
00:47:23
the veterinarian or something
00:47:27
[music]
00:47:31
[applause] [
00:47:34
music]
00:47:37
Petrov’s wife ate so much that from his
00:47:41
other half she turned into 5/6
00:47:49
[music]
00:47:50
[applause]
00:48:19
wait, what happened then, somewhere
00:48:21
I took money for groceries. Well, I
00:48:24
gave something valuable to people, they gave me money for it. If
00:48:29
you weren’t wearing panties,
00:48:32
Natasha, that I donated blood, I donated blood.
00:48:37
Why did I
00:48:38
want to prove to you that I have a lot of good things in me,
00:48:41
Lord? proved Come on, let's have dinner at the table That something
00:48:47
bad happened, so
00:48:52
what should we do? Tell me what the Doctor said, if it
00:48:55
gets bad, I need to drink a glass of
00:48:58
red wine. But where do we get the Wine? Is there
00:49:03
such a case
00:49:06
now? Is it
00:49:09
possible
00:49:16
that if I drink a little now? -I’ll
00:49:19
be under your thumb for a
00:49:21
little bit [applause] yes, yes, you will be
00:49:25
like that a little, but what are you choosing, then what? Well,
00:49:35
the doctor said one glass. I didn’t donate a glass, then the Doctor said
00:49:37
if it gets bad, then you need to drink wine
00:49:40
as much as you donated blood And how much you donated there are
00:49:43
two in a bottle
00:49:49
and then we’ll see, okay, where did you even
00:49:52
get the wine, what was it given at work, well, that
00:49:55
is, while I’m here getting food with sweat
00:49:58
and blood, someone gives you wine If
00:50:01
it’s just a little bit Well,
00:50:21
I share the same blood with someone.
00:50:25
What can I do? I'll hunt you Bagheera
00:50:32
[applause]
00:50:37
don't miss
00:50:41
Hello Tamara Sherkhanov this is
00:50:46
Hello inhuman
00:51:07
So you're getting closer and closer
00:51:10
every day about my wake he jokes about what's
00:51:13
unreal What kind of holiday is it, I don't understand
00:51:15
what it is
00:51:17
What kind of holiday they ask
00:51:18
professional day of the quitter
00:51:20
Taking day on loan
00:51:24
Kolya Today I donated blood, yes Tamara
00:51:27
Igorevna, not all of it, you drank
00:51:29
the blood from me, I donated to
00:51:32
the veterinarian or something,
00:51:48
no one takes the blood, the syringes
00:51:50
corrode
00:51:58
this type of blood, it’s so
00:52:01
negative
00:52:14
[applause]
00:52:30
our sergeant Krivoruky caught it, which means
00:52:33
the cable was pulled incorrectly, the cable broke and it’s
00:52:36
right for me hand with an
00:52:38
iron cable early, it seems like a
00:52:41
small one, but apparently blood got into a vein,
00:52:44
it’s gushing all over the forest, but they stitched me up. Everything’s
00:52:47
fine, I’ve already gone home. There’s a
00:52:49
sister there, says Sergei Gennadievich, you’ve
00:52:51
lost something in blood. Let’s pour it in for you,
00:52:52
we’ve got some fresh here.
00:52:55
they brought it to
00:52:56
me, here I am here
00:53:00
Seryozha,
00:53:06
in which hospital did you get a blood transfusion in
00:53:11
19
00:53:13
Nikolay, now think carefully
00:53:19
and say that you didn’t give blood in hospital 19. It
00:53:22
seems like I donated blood in this new one
00:53:26
opposite the park.
00:53:28
19
00:53:31
people donate blood. There are a lot of them, but there are
00:53:34
no such coincidences happens Listen,
00:53:36
what did you think, but cat food with
00:53:38
turkey and cat food with chicken, they
00:53:40
are different from each other,
00:53:43
read my thoughts
00:53:51
[applause]
00:53:53
look at me now, more
00:53:55
Sergei than Nikolaevich Go away vixen, what do
00:54:01
you think of me Or maybe it’s in him
00:54:04
now I’m not saying
00:54:08
that you need to drink red wine to
00:54:11
stop your bleeding, you’ll get red wine. Well,
00:54:14
if only with cat food, I
00:54:16
have it with chicken, yes it
00:54:31
worked. I
00:54:55
get it. So, of course, what do you have
00:54:58
there, cat food with chicken? I’m telling
00:55:04
Kolya, that’s not what this is for. I came up with everything for
00:55:08
what, for the fact that today you and I will
00:55:10
witness and a phenomenon much
00:55:12
more rare than arriving at lunchtime and the hall
00:55:16
today Tamara will beg me for a drink, you
00:55:22
know until how long we will smoke
00:55:27
[music]
00:55:33
Listen, I somehow don’t want something
00:55:37
after after
00:56:01
[applause]
00:56:08
Sergei Gennadievich
00:56:10
[applause]
00:56:13
another one
00:56:17
for sure Come on, we need it Seryozha please
00:56:26
Sergei Gennadievich
00:56:30
We came up with it together
00:56:35
I didn’t understand that you came up with anything
00:56:41
[music] [
00:57:04
music]
00:57:07
[applause] [ music]
00:57:23
with surprise
00:57:31
[music]
00:57:36
[applause]
00:57:37
[music] It’s
00:57:42
a paradox, if you’re running from a heart attack, you
00:57:45
don’t have to run too fast, otherwise it
00:57:48
might catch up
00:57:49
with you. Let’s be faster, boys. Let’s follow me [
00:57:53
music]
00:57:56
croak. Well done, my health group, legs are
00:58:00
higher, legs are higher, so I’ll go now and
00:58:03
call you. And you continue to work out
00:58:05
well,
00:58:59
she’s mine why is this table He's my
00:59:05
shoes they're mine
00:59:08
works pills Yes I remembered the conjugation
00:59:12
So live your pills Alber
00:59:15
Nikolaevna is mine Because you are simple
00:59:19
pensioners I am, after all, the director of a company, a
00:59:21
wealthy man,
00:59:24
when he comes he always looks at me with
00:59:27
surprise he looks at you
00:59:29
every training session in the intensive care unit they carry you
00:59:33
again Come
00:59:36
that we are kindred spirits because it
00:59:39
seems to me that she is swelling
01:00:23
Who has the phone guys What phone
01:00:28
simulator did my daughter give me
01:00:31
if there is pressure or he’s starting to get nervous
01:00:35
And why are you getting nervous I don’t
01:00:39
understand why you’re getting into this here
01:00:41
sexual race, then why do you need
01:00:43
an old man, leaves of the decrepit, you’re
01:00:46
not interested at all at all, but because there is
01:00:49
also a spiritual world, we’ll sit By the fireplace, she’ll
01:00:53
cover my feet with a blanket, I’ll read
01:00:56
Brodsky to her And why
01:01:02
an apartment in the center, a car of your own for
01:01:05
domestic ones, that’s an argument
01:01:09
Let me I’ll steal you a lot
01:01:38
What color was the round
01:01:46
[music]
01:01:48
green
01:01:50
Opana
01:01:52
green It was kefir white milk
01:01:55
white-yellow cream And there were no bifidocs in the USSR
01:01:59
round round
01:02:02
And how do you know such words
01:02:06
manta How many years No matter how old I am, I’ll
01:02:08
get married
01:02:14
I have a different proposal yes, maybe
01:02:16
let it go How it goes, but I mean, on
01:02:20
Monday, seven of us already came to training
01:02:22
Well on Tuesday, six
01:02:26
so today
01:02:29
you can scatter for the weekend and on
01:02:33
Monday who will come,
01:02:36
but there is another suggestion, maybe we can
01:02:39
still read the instructions from
01:02:41
electrophoresis Well and there won’t be
01:02:44
one less of us every day
01:02:53
I’m going on maternity leave,
01:02:58
I said that he’s less than seventy
01:03:03
and the maternity leave is about peace or about the earth
01:03:12
So until I’m replaced by
01:03:15
Ksenia Andreevna, please love and
01:03:17
favor Ksenia Andreevna, can you
01:03:20
[music]
01:03:22
Well, Roosevelt's peers, let's
01:03:27
go around in circles to be
01:03:31
eliminated.
01:03:36
I, too, on maternity leave, I want to
01:03:40
talk on the phone,
01:03:46
listen. Guys, let
01:04:13
's do it better for
01:04:15
you, and what does it matter to me? What difference does it make to you
01:04:19
who will cover you in front of many? So you
01:04:23
read Brodsky to her, I wanted to read
01:04:26
Brodsky, they let's see him
01:04:36
[music]
01:04:53
[applause]
01:05:04
[applause]
01:05:14
[music]
01:05:19
friends, even for
01:05:21
joke numbers of
01:05:38
ugly women, they are all beautiful,
01:05:41
only each one is different
01:05:54
I'm just pawing
01:06:02
[music] [
01:06:13
applause] [music] [
01:06:25
applause]
01:06:32
[music]
01:06:38
[ music]
01:06:44
[applause]
01:06:48
[music]
01:06:49
dear friends This is sport Yes, in my opinion, it’s
01:06:53
damn similar to married life
01:06:56
in general, to relationships between a man and a
01:06:58
woman, it’s just like a sports
01:06:59
relationship, that’s serious, it’s easy, just to
01:07:02
draw parallels, you’ll be amazed at
01:07:05
how closely it’s just connected
01:07:07
someone starts early finishes late
01:07:11
someone starts late finishes early someone has a
01:07:13
beach doping someone understands
01:07:16
Where were you yesterday He says during
01:07:17
training he doesn’t believe him just like he doesn’t
01:07:19
believe Kuznetsov Washington because
01:07:21
where it starts is unclear in training
01:07:23
it doesn’t exist Who knows Kuznetsov,
01:07:25
please, you can applaud or maybe
01:07:28
not [
01:07:29
applause]
01:07:30
Yes And in general, you understand,
01:07:35
and this is what you need to do because Well, it’s
01:07:37
like, even if you’re not an Olympic
01:07:39
champion, you need to play sports even
01:07:42
if you’re golden You won’t live to see the wedding. Well,
01:07:44
somehow you have to somehow understand how to
01:07:46
go about establishing a relationship by sight, and the
01:07:48
main principle is the same and ruin it here and
01:07:50
there, and in a relationship the main thing is not
01:07:53
victory,
01:07:58
and for example, the same thoughts only
01:08:02
rhymed and under music friends, I ask
01:08:06
you
01:08:08
[music]
01:08:13
women are like gymnasts, the weaker sex is
01:08:17
not so weak, they
01:08:19
exercise without fear who is Who is
01:08:23
on the goats and lies like a whistle on the field
01:08:27
only with them you get into an argument,
01:08:31
you will definitely get away from football, such a
01:08:35
weak-sex sport
01:08:43
[music]
01:09:00
and the sides
01:09:04
and the men have a lot of fighting
01:09:08
in them and a garage and fishing, all the more so to
01:09:14
figure out for three When the phone
01:09:17
hears
01:09:20
[music]
01:09:24
and on foot
01:09:35
[music] there is
01:09:41
no need No Winners We all have our own
01:09:47
family,
01:09:54
we have a bet for all the increases there
01:09:56
are no notes there Slovakia women love
01:10:00
chess and men, wives
01:10:05
love synchronized swimming and husbands love
01:10:09
parachuting, new,
01:10:13
we don’t need this stupid sport, we run the
01:10:18
distance, we can’t sit. Wind in the head
01:10:22
in love
01:10:42
[music]
01:10:45
[applause]
01:10:51
today’s sports concert
01:10:53
was not attended by Handsome men, somewhat
01:10:56
unsportsmanlike, not sporty maybe
01:10:59
be behavior but a wonderful
01:11:01
sports future
01:11:04
But these people are musicians
01:11:07
Whose music you hear without amplifiers
01:11:10
because they themselves amplify it And of
01:11:16
course our wonderful
01:11:19
sports spectators are friends
01:11:21
[music]
01:11:43
[music]

Description:

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