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Video tags
Subtitles
Russian
00:00:00
that means if I’m little, everyone can teach me,00:00:02
maybe someone00:00:03
taught me, then you smoke cider in the toilet00:00:05
and where else to smoke, what the hell do you00:00:09
want me to smoke in class, I generally00:00:12
want you not to smoke your own cigarettes and00:00:14
they’re yours and other people’s smoking,00:00:16
stop being rude sharpener tomorrow00:00:19
you'll come to school with your father tomorrow I won't be able to00:00:21
father is busy when he gets free in00:00:23
two years it's clear mother that mother00:00:27
mother is free not she's married I understand that00:00:31
she's married opposite the school maybe00:00:33
but won't come it'll lead to something else she'll go00:00:35
from one smoking school to stomping 10 each and00:00:38
who broke it or poured water on the director's pants00:00:40
or do you want to sit down, I00:00:43
crashed the cow's chair on the floor why did the mother00:00:46
come to school senor screams the teacher so that the00:00:49
mother will be at school tomorrow00:00:51
okay vario you asked for it, I00:00:53
warned you for tomorrow we'll come with the00:00:55
mother the teacher says your son smokes during00:00:57
recess, the00:00:58
kids are ready, what do you want him to00:01:00
smoke in class, teach who is the stuffing00:01:04
to fly his filthy cigarettes, his mother would00:01:06
give him kind, he didn’t smoke his own, he always shoots00:01:09
whoever he shoots, but he shoots at no one cigarettes, he00:01:11
shoots everyone, listen to the glide teacher, your00:01:13
son is behaving outrageous, he said00:01:15
that his father will be freed in two years,00:01:17
he said so, yes, the bastard is in run scoundrel with00:01:22
a folder, in just a year he will be freed00:01:24
from I won’t choose, oh, I’ll hit you, in fact, I00:01:27
connected him to no need to rip him out00:01:29
and hit him, he doesn’t need anything, as he should00:01:31
screams mother maternity hospital father a year added00:01:34
this even the prosecutor didn’t allow himself00:01:37
she grabs me starts drinking on the00:01:40
head the teacher begins to defend me tries to00:01:42
tear me away from my mother fly the teacher is00:01:44
left with a black eye at the end of00:01:48
the match he calms down he says00:01:49
why exactly did you call me00:01:50
how he smokes in the toilet in this the chick is00:01:53
ready, the devil, even though he lived in the classroom, he smoked,00:01:55
people need to be watered and everyone asks the mother,00:01:57
everyone wants to go to bed, says the mother, I thought00:02:01
that’s what he really did, well, he00:02:03
punched the director in the face or did something with you,00:02:05
tell me honestly, he smoked weed or00:02:08
tobacco, in my opinion tobacco, you see, you know,00:02:12
weed has already stopped seeing and yet00:02:15
the boy is straightening out what to manage00:02:18
Cupid mom is free in a year no mom is00:02:20
married Juliet the decree will wait for another year when00:02:23
he takes the deadline for00:02:25
this one pulls where the mother says00:02:26
Katuni there well okay there’s nowhere I00:02:29
can’t agree with you To send me to send00:02:30
his brother to prison to broadcast the program means00:02:33
that if he’s in prison, he’ll actually make00:02:35
a call, what kind of phone do you have, teacher00:02:37
phone 02, you don’t know the person, and I still wo00:02:41
n’t have time to sit down, and most importantly, I wouldn’t kill00:02:43
anyone except you, we’ll go, we’ll go and00:02:46
the teacher was left pale, shaking, what to00:02:49
do, doesn’t know anymore, they didn’t00:02:50
bother me anymore, they didn’t pester me when that’s what it means,00:02:52
my neighbor is an actress, only 500 rubles,00:02:55
and my mother may never go to school, they00:03:04
started to know with this humor to make it00:03:07
stupid, I remember this from childhood, I remember being00:03:12
bullied as a child00:03:13
you call someone you don’t ask this bathhouse he’s a00:03:15
bastard, not that you pick up the phone then you pick up the00:03:18
parachute we had before00:03:20
and after the low and in the middle of the night they’ll ask for the stadium00:03:22
he’s asking no but it’s a miracle you’re standing in shorts and a T-shirt like that’s what00:03:25
we had for 24 hours as a00:03:28
friend in childhood you’re calling at night too00:03:30
picks up the phone, you say, goes to the00:03:32
doorbell, they haven’t tried it, try it, it works00:03:37
very well, they can catch up and beat you,00:03:39
by the way, but they’ve grown up and become tricky jokes, you00:03:42
call a friend in a00:03:44
female voice, his wife picks up the phone, you00:03:46
ask the army, this will dawn on you, then00:03:50
you say, tell me to come in, what’s on abortion,00:03:52
I don’t agree, they didn’t come up with the reports,00:03:57
you call the room, you say it’s apartment 1000:03:59
to ai, go to the next apartment, otherwise00:04:01
their intercom doesn’t work like that, and my00:04:05
friend got milk here to the point of insanity00:04:07
for no, someone, yes, Galya, you can not00:04:10
and not at home, yes I have her, I’ll ask her,00:04:12
can I have00:04:16
this kind of humor Katyusha days are not a prince, that’s00:04:19
how I’m resting with the same Volodya, I’m resting with00:04:21
his wife, his boat with his mistress, we’re sitting00:04:23
like on the beach, wine volume, barbecue,00:04:26
we’re going well, we’re sitting, but something is missing00:04:28
from the course somehow I went to the beaches for the sake of the knot I00:04:30
agreed with the radio operator directory we00:04:32
will hear the announcement attention gentlemen00:04:34
Vladimir Statsenko you have arrived00:04:36
looking for you on the beach00:04:37
your wife mother-in-law and children the girl fainted00:04:41
smile swimming trunks ran to the airport00:04:44
I ran for half a kilometer after him pumped it was a00:04:47
joke00:04:48
then he beat me for half an hour pumped a joke for00:04:51
joke so Conan another day to clean00:04:55
his wife and mother-in-law arrived, he didn’t00:04:58
react at all and just said, well, jokes,00:05:04
couldn’t you come up with anything better and everyone had fun in general, people00:05:07
who are smarter than him humor00:05:08
doesn’t help live, can’t00:05:10
help someone on only the story was an00:05:12
artist unfamiliar to me, would go with him as00:05:14
friends to a restaurant and, as I00:05:16
had prepared in advance, asked one of the parodists00:05:18
to record the text on tape in the voice of an announcer; we were00:05:20
sitting in a restaurant; we would have a snack; did00:05:29
n’t deserve any further surnames,00:05:31
some kind of plan, when I heard the00:05:34
boat got excited, champagne for everyone, caviar and crabs00:05:37
kori kul, we had eight people00:05:39
walking until the morning, he paid for everyone, the next day I00:05:41
immediately went on vacation in Antalya, oh, he00:05:44
was rampant near my house for a week he00:05:46
was guarding the car with an ax, he wanted to run me over00:05:48
in cases and then dismember me00:05:51
well so that after two months they00:05:52
really didn’t deserve it, I00:05:54
called him, I just asked him to celebrate,00:05:58
and he hung up, not the guys, I’m done with these00:06:01
jokes, I’ll just make one more joke00:06:03
and it’s all a painful joke good,00:06:06
you call one person, a guy, in00:06:09
different voices and when is the hour and00:06:12
asks, can Stanislav00:06:13
Sigismundovich and he is in the evening just vision00:06:16
then the phone of the day is not here Stanislav and00:06:18
Sigismundovich but or at home at night00:06:20
you call him for the last time and say00:06:22
excuse me, it’s Stanislav Sigismund tell00:06:24
me no one called00:06:30
[ applause]00:06:33
it actually happened in life, or00:06:36
at least it could have been so00:06:37
plausible, this is a story about00:06:40
our great musician, composer00:06:42
Dmitry Shostakovich, once in the 70s,00:06:45
his hand hurt,00:06:46
he went to the city of Kurgan, you know there00:06:48
was such a thing Elizarov's clinic where00:06:50
they corrected00:06:51
various ailments, which means they were00:06:54
related to the joints, which means00:06:57
he came to the mound, there was00:06:59
not enough food in this clinic and everyone was running to the00:07:03
nearest grocery store00:07:04
to buy something for themselves, and now Shostakovich, the great00:07:07
composer, in a00:07:08
hospital robe, comes to the store00:07:11
just now - I wanted to buy, two guys come up00:07:13
and say he’ll be the third for a year,00:07:17
I’ll be interested in him, come on, the ruble,00:07:21
why is the ruble there, remember, how much did it00:07:24
cost Natalya, the specialists are sitting on 8 700:07:30
correctly chipped in a ruble, took00:07:32
a bottle, went to the next door for00:07:34
batteries, 3 glasses are already ready00:07:36
it means but the soul is burning,00:07:37
they mean right away, so the main one spilled it, it00:07:40
means they drank a third of the glass and grabbed zeros and did00:07:50
n’t drink to eat under the apple, why would someone like that00:07:56
die? what is the name00:07:57
that Dima will finish this for me, they drank another third of00:08:01
a glass, this main one00:08:03
says, well, whose turner is he a mechanic and00:08:07
what are you doing su-100 k vich says and I’m the00:08:09
composer they were silent, the main thing was said,00:08:12
well, you don’t want to talk, and to hell with you00:08:18
now it means Vaike connected with another00:08:21
great musician or lunch and list00:08:23
Mstislav Rostropovich he really loved00:08:27
to work a lot worked wherever he00:08:29
performed wherever he went, then00:08:31
one day he and a pianist with00:08:33
an accompanist arrived in a remote00:08:35
town, some regional center, went to00:08:38
check the00:08:39
piano at the cultural center I’m not upset,00:08:42
it’s clear that the concept will take place, the00:08:43
tuners are nowhere close, but00:08:46
Rostropovich realized he says this00:08:49
accompanist and you know how to play the button accordion,00:08:51
he when I finished music school on the00:08:53
button accordion for a year, well, everyone went and00:08:55
got the button accordion, the padre dived, they came,00:08:58
the evening begins, the concert begins,00:08:59
Rostropovich sits and grants in Lonchels next to him on a00:09:02
chair start accompanist on the button accordion00:09:04
accompanies everything well 20 minutes00:09:06
pass some spectator approaches00:09:08
the stage says Rostropovich listen man00:09:10
shut up give me the button accordion then listen a00:09:16
long time ago in the late 50s at the00:09:20
Mayakovsky Theater staged by People's Artist00:09:22
Okhlopkov, chief director of the00:09:24
Mayakovsky Theater staged the play Hamlet and the00:09:27
whole beau monde, all the best people came00:09:31
invited to this performance for the00:09:33
premiere and one cameraman came with his00:09:36
wife, his00:09:37
wife had a gorgeous, stunning fur coat,00:09:40
which they not only recently bought, but00:09:41
just00:09:42
pride, they came and handed over the fur coat to the wardrobe,00:09:45
everyone was sitting in the first department and that’s all00:09:47
thinks about how the fur coat was not stolen and the00:09:50
fur coat is running to the wardrobe during intermission, the fur coat is not00:09:54
stolen, the fur coat is a nightmare, they called the police00:09:57
protocol sleepless night in the morning the bell00:10:00
rings00:10:01
Sergei Vladimirovich Mikhalkov and talks about00:10:05
he stuttered and says but but but but but but00:10:08
you now you understand that Hamlet this00:10:13
tragedy00:10:18
also sent a great man I00:10:19
will tell a story about this Mikhail Svetlov is a00:10:22
wonderful poet and also a00:10:23
very witty person once in the house of00:10:26
writers there was an epigram competition00:10:28
but such amateur non-professionals00:10:30
competed00:10:31
and they had a prize of roast goose and it was light at00:10:34
that time serving a buffet I heard that there is00:10:36
a competition of these same ones00:10:38
and the tiger come to play, can I also00:10:39
participate wash away no Michal00:10:42
arcade draw you are welcome to participate there00:10:44
only the figure itself you are professionals00:10:45
well okay he went and added00:10:48
Igor came then can I00:10:50
just read my tiger and volt without any prize no00:10:52
prize please, he said I really want00:10:55
a goose and a pi gram of Usi-Pusi they gave away a blind man,00:11:02
but of course I’m not only talking about great people,00:11:05
I have one taxi driver in the00:11:08
city of Kislovodsk, let’s intensify the rollout,00:11:09
some amazing stories maybe, I’m00:11:12
taking Minvoda from the city of00:11:13
Kislovodsk like this aksakal I’ll talk00:11:16
where he will be in Kislovodsk00:11:17
I say where in Kislovodsk this00:11:20
sanatorium Turma00:11:21
I don’t have such a lie in the city I say00:11:24
visa sanatorium Turma a00:11:27
ticket from yours I take a ticket and it00:11:29
says sanatorium fortress00:11:34
he told me such a story00:11:36
gazers village two women 1 so in strictly he00:11:39
says to me so listen here it means so00:11:43
first and and then he understood me but he00:11:47
understood to lie and why are you sitting then you look like you00:11:51
yourself understood what they told you well and the very00:11:54
qualities denying stories are usually00:11:55
told to me it means doctors00:11:58
well with this nothing can pages from00:11:59
only doctors can tell such it’s00:12:01
worth one not a doctor I’ll tell you how00:12:03
the patient walks I say sit00:12:05
down she’s a year who am I, well, I’m already sitting,00:12:09
that means you’re sitting down he’s sitting down a year her last name is00:12:12
actually mine00:12:14
I speak with my last name I know it means00:12:17
Petra he’s a bastard undress to the waist from below00:12:20
or from above and also the doctor, since I already have a00:12:25
completely unsurpassed story, then the00:12:27
patient comes and says the doctor, I00:12:29
don’t have children, we have these hereditary ones, my00:12:32
grandfather didn’t have children, my father didn’t have children, and00:12:35
where are you from? I’m from Minsk00:12:38
and [applause]00:12:41
you come for a walk, no, I love it,00:12:45
listen, here’s who’s going abroad for what,00:12:47
some for clothes, some for00:12:49
impressions, and I’m looking for adventures on my00:12:51
sore head, so I started, you know, to00:12:54
Poland, I started back in Soviet times,00:12:57
back when Poland and I were dragging out a common deadline00:12:59
in the socialist camp listen paleo Poles they are the00:13:03
night they will be like they are the same as the00:13:06
Ukrainians only they are sober and don’t swear and00:13:11
their women are just beautiful but only00:13:13
splash a lot Yak-1 drove up about potatoes and00:13:16
firewood pajero said who do you00:13:19
like better burda or madan only or00:13:21
wild boar she tells me with all her heart, I’m00:13:24
rude, everything is on the table, but I was coming from here,00:13:28
you can explain,00:13:30
let’s talk, but the Germans are different, but for the Germans, the00:13:33
most important thing is00:13:34
cleanliness and order, with the Germans on00:13:37
the street, you’ll spit the same, I’ll take it again, you’ll spit, they’ll take00:13:41
you away, and the main thing is with them the00:13:45
only order they can hear is ain zwei dry they are00:13:47
the center and schnell-schnell00:13:49
you think they are marching, that’s not what they do,00:13:52
they have sex once a week on Thursdays for 1500:13:57
minutes with a smoke break,00:13:58
they also call it das ist00:14:01
fantastisch,00:14:04
but England is a country of unlimited00:14:07
possibilities, can you imagine? where00:14:10
even a simple Chukchi has his own football00:14:14
team and the woman mesh proud drove up to00:14:18
one about potatoes for firewood to fry00:14:20
such a thing I heard a lot now as a lady with a face00:14:23
about the table said in English but I00:14:26
understood everything they are English they don’t know their language well,00:14:30
just think I lived with them for a month for00:14:33
a month spoke English at least someone00:14:36
understood how American somehow pages they00:14:41
always think that someone is harassing them,00:14:42
so they go straight to court and immediately to MSU, you won’t00:14:46
believe in America half of the men00:14:49
live with their wives by court verdict and all with00:14:57
money from the mayor’s office, mercantile you see, here00:14:59
I am in one mountain of passives nail this is 2000:15:01
dollars went to the restaurant and this is 20000:15:04
dollars when I went to, 30000:15:06
dollars Japan Vlad the country is served by the00:15:11
Japanese but these are aliens right from them00:15:14
everything is bad refusal gone awry00:15:15
from not Fuji this is a pit on our way this00:15:19
mountain is correct now look they drink a00:15:23
hot booth,00:15:24
well, that’s what they call it,00:15:29
they snack on frozen fish, that’s what they00:15:31
call sushi, and not in one eye,00:15:35
so try to drink00:15:37
hot vodka here in the summer and eat frozen00:15:40
flounder and00:15:42
rose khasis, and at least they that they were the same as they were00:15:44
before drinking, so on topic remained and00:15:51
what is interesting and what is interesting is that everything is similar00:15:56
to each other like two peas in a pod,00:15:58
you can’t tell anyone apart from each other Yak-100:16:00
drove up there about the cards, a Russian friend of00:16:02
Pajero followed her for a week the result when00:16:05
home and came to meet their friends, I00:16:07
realized that she was a man and got to00:16:12
Israel acutely in case one side00:16:15
listen to what kind of00:16:18
touching relationship the Israelis have with money, one00:16:23
non-Israelis says he found a wallet00:16:25
and there wasn’t enough, you need to imagine and the00:16:30
law they have is an interesting law You00:16:33
can’t do anything on Saturdays, you can’t even00:16:35
take money, you can even take money,00:16:39
as soon as I found out about this, I borrowed money to00:16:42
give it back on Saturday, I went, listen, I didn’t00:16:47
take it alone, well, you should have seen their faces, but on00:16:50
Sunday they caught me at the bar portal,00:16:52
not only theirs, but they took mine as well It’s not00:16:54
better in the whole country, we don’t have the00:16:56
most beautiful women, and the most important thing is that00:17:00
our main wealth is our children,00:17:03
our children are beautiful, one Japanese man, leave00:17:05
our country, said because you are00:17:07
wonderful, but everything else that00:17:09
you do with your hands is still not00:17:11
working out for you a00:17:15
bulldog, a wolfhound with a pedigree, a00:17:21
beast, a dog, whoever you want in return,00:17:24
a waste for the breeds of such a country,00:17:26
squat, some kind of long,00:17:29
wraps his body around the corner, so this is my bobby, you won’t00:17:32
understand what the breed is,00:17:33
and what’s the name of the year, Vasilich, by his first00:17:37
name and patronymic, and name is aule start00:17:39
responds fedr vasil let me be00:17:42
careful about that so00:17:44
he grabs half of his hand after a dead hour before afternoon tea he is00:17:47
angry always recently offended by a rabbit00:17:50
once and no rabbits wasp that he00:17:53
was offended by a rabbit and00:17:55
did this like that but rabbits are always like this guy does00:18:00
n’t do any more work, it’s necessary for me to do everything,00:18:04
and the man did everything to me in00:18:06
the morning; he brings me a newspaper in the morning, and00:18:08
your newspaper will be easier; he’ll make small change out of one00:18:11
newspaper; every morning he puts00:18:13
the postmen in bed with all the00:18:16
newspapers, and even forces him to read00:18:18
out loud. my my roller but he can00:18:22
watch TV just like a person sitting00:18:23
opposite00:18:24
from and Halsey the TV is turned off everything is00:18:27
watching looking torn 100 why did he00:18:30
bring the glass described the place to which00:18:33
he said yes without turning it over then the policeman00:18:35
will fall out00:18:36
and my god but go caress you speak to00:18:40
us once a thief climbed in00:18:41
and his Bobby he rubs his leg, rubs himself to play00:18:43
with him, asks, but also that the lint is with him and00:18:46
plays with him, he sits with one hand00:18:48
holding things with the other, stroking Bobik, the police have already00:18:52
arrived, everyone is stroking them, they pay him as a child, we’ll00:18:55
probably remember that he was imprisoned for three00:18:58
years, he became a completely different person; he hasn’t been00:19:01
stealing Bobby’s letters there for two years now.00:19:04
sends writes that he will return00:19:06
immediately to us, how did the pairs get in for you, I don’t00:19:11
know, maybe they got in, I’m sleeping soundly,00:19:13
the answer is you have your own things to do, only he knows,00:19:15
even no traces remain once, only a00:19:18
belt buckle and shoe laces, that’s all, just like00:19:20
that scary without a00:19:23
muzzle, why don't they have a set of00:19:25
declasse yawned and there is no muzzle personnel00:19:27
network I told someone, well, give me a request to00:19:29
let the person go out of town there00:19:31
that ruffles doesn't like foreign cars, things00:19:33
requests can be chewed up, but if you00:19:36
drive at a competition, he's such a smart girl and00:19:38
gets medals it’s just that he lags behind the run00:19:40
and mine is always the first to come and the00:19:43
only one leave will gobble up00:19:47
the distance he will gobble up, well, he’s scary,00:19:50
how scary but fair on the verge of00:19:53
congress only if he wants to eat and if he00:19:56
always wants, oh, there’s a00:19:58
place like that at the border,00:20:00
the border guard didn’t add it at the border complains that there are00:20:02
spies and catches catches catches00:20:04
interrogate then Peter lets00:20:09
you through, well, let go of the arc of the rosary, the tram00:20:12
is stuck, well, what are you going to gnaw on the tram again,00:20:14
and I have you, my so00:20:17
picky crabs,00:20:20
why, I don’t know, maybe because they00:20:22
never presses, and your honey not only sniffs00:20:27
sniffs and snores,00:20:28
but my cat gets drunk with songs and then bawls,00:20:33
they love them about him, not a single [ __ ] and00:20:37
lets him eat, he loves them,00:20:39
this photo, but she’s easier from your bobby,00:20:42
now only medals will remain, we’ll still00:20:44
build this watch squares osago00:20:46
one year old bring bobby no dress00:20:49
defending and bobby fedor pack well what is00:20:52
it he will load a bulldog wolf the00:20:55
goods came ruined by such and such a robbery and00:20:57
until the tail was blown by a crocodile00:20:59
it was called00:21:02
[applause] the00:21:07
ball I’m sitting like in Antalya on the beach and in front of00:21:13
me step by step a trick of women such a young,00:21:15
pretty bra, Stella, and so without00:21:18
a bra, and sits for a day, suffered 200:21:25
endured for 3 people, I’m talking here with these00:21:28
naked people, then sit for00:21:29
a year, you can, I can’t, are they00:21:32
bothering you or something,00:21:34
the euro is calling out to them about the sea until you00:21:38
watch the game everyone watch punish so00:21:39
outrageously00:21:40
from a man from the same toplitse what the hell00:21:43
top avoid ir hay some topless arguse is to blame00:21:45
why are you still00:21:48
sitting drowned we are also not indignant one00:21:50
you seem to have just gotten off the00:21:51
general soap me00:21:53
well thought one on top of the other day came00:21:55
she was lying with her top in the woods, I took off my shirt, took off my00:21:59
pants, took off my swimming trunks, took off, remained in00:22:05
just a cap,00:22:06
she's like a man, why am I lying to the balls00:22:09
topless, this is not a top flying, rudeness,00:22:12
some interesting thing, you can have years, but I00:22:15
can't, and the skills of the world are other goals.00:22:17
By the way, swimming trunks, it’s time against the00:22:20
white cap, you00:22:21
want to put on flip-flops, but for a year,00:22:23
and not flip-flops, everything else is00:22:25
naked, the new carpet bothers you or something,00:22:29
sometimes it distracts me from the sea, you don’t00:22:31
look at the map, look when it’s so00:22:33
outrageous and all the work, why are you here00:22:36
with naked people? they hung it here, it’s called she00:22:38
will be and what a beauty, well, I’ll00:22:40
sunbathe in the winter, I’ll undress and look at how00:22:43
beautiful my breasts are and the enemy, which means I00:22:45
have to undress in the dark all winter,00:22:54
she’s you, that is, and galliani,00:22:57
and the woman is offended, last00:22:59
year he brought one00:23:00
stripped naked, anagram spat on me00:23:02
and generally left, maybe there was another00:23:05
paper, nothing there, no one else was00:23:07
richer, the wife left and they say he’s not00:23:09
tanned, so he didn’t burn against me, it’s disgusting to00:23:12
look at, but the doctor, oh look, it’s00:23:15
nice, well, when I get a tan in general, you00:23:18
can’t take your eyes off me as00:23:19
she will be 1 from your chest and no one is going to take your breasts off at all,00:23:23
about which we’ve been sunbathing together for 5 years already,00:23:26
she with her top forest, like a white cap,00:23:28
leg in the same bed, my00:23:38
husband and I are both middle-aged, we’re already under 5000:23:41
and weakened by various diseases,00:23:43
I have sciatica, he already has back pain, but00:23:45
we don’t want to give up sex,00:23:47
tell me what position would suit us00:23:49
best, and in Khokhlova, the city of Moscow,00:23:53
dear, and in Khokhlova, but we received your00:23:56
letter, glad that you subscribe to our00:23:59
magazine and that you are concerned about heart problems, we00:24:01
advise you to choose a position in which00:24:03
you are at the bottom, the left00:24:06
partner needs to lie on his back, then the second00:24:08
partner can sit astride and you can even00:24:10
put one leg next to the bed00:24:12
to relieve the partner of the load, in any00:24:15
case, the pushes of the Fritz should be performed by the00:24:17
fallen duck we wish you good luck with your health,00:24:21
respect the editors, thank you for the advice, we00:24:25
did everything as you advised,00:24:26
I lay down on my back and my husband Anatoly sat on00:24:29
horseback, but for some reason nothing00:24:31
worked for us, or radiculitis interfered with them, they’ve00:24:35
already gotten used to it for 30 years, because we were before this00:24:37
they knew only 2 positions lying down, this is when00:24:39
we got the apartment, the story was when we stood in00:24:42
line for the apartment00:24:44
and on horseback, well, after about half an hour, it didn’t00:24:49
work the old way either,00:24:50
then the next day we tried as you00:24:52
advised, husband Anatoly, and according to the silhouette, your00:24:54
foot is on the floor to relieve my00:24:56
sciatica and something even began to00:24:58
work out because at that time my00:25:00
husband’s health was better than mine,00:25:02
then all the pushes and fritzes as you advised were00:25:04
performed by him until he00:25:07
slipped, and since the dream because00:25:11
our cat Muska became rub against his00:25:15
leg and he doesn’t stop pushing and the Krauts00:25:20
tried to drive him away with the same leg, but00:25:25
I did it so unsuccessfully that I flew to00:25:28
the floor, pulled me with my00:25:30
sciatica, I’m friends from the bed to his,00:25:34
we couldn’t separate the hugs for a long time, although00:25:37
there was no time pushes and frictions are00:25:40
needed now, or maybe he’s already recovering00:25:41
from a fall, so I turned on the tension so that00:25:44
now my sciatica is worse than me00:25:46
and they put a plaster on,00:25:48
but despite the fact that he now walks with a00:25:50
crutch mad sex we are not going to refuse00:25:53
and we ask you to still tell you what00:25:55
else the pose now could be repeated for us,00:25:57
and his Khokhlov city of Moscow is00:26:03
dear, and the release of lava is nice to know00:26:06
that life’s adversities do not take away your craving00:26:08
for sexual composition. As for00:26:11
the pose, when your health weakens, it’s00:26:13
simple, what can I recommend to you?00:26:14
This is for the man to sit on a chair and the00:26:16
partner was on top, stimulating each00:26:19
other as much as possible, we wish success00:26:22
to the editors, dear editors, thank you for00:26:25
your concern, you will do everything as you00:26:27
wrote, Natalie sat on the chair and I00:26:30
tried to sit on top, for which Paul00:26:31
moved the chair-table, the00:26:37
man began to descend from him, sliding down the body At this time he was trying00:26:39
to stimulate and00:26:41
carry out the pushes of the Fritz, but it was at this00:26:44
time that our cat Muska, seemingly frightened of00:26:48
our composition,00:26:49
rushed to separate us and at the same time00:26:53
grabbed her claws into her husband’s stomach.00:27:01
my husband’s head, part of00:27:04
Kolya, I am writing you this letter, we00:27:05
are both in a cast, my husband feels like his arm,00:27:08
I have a slight concussion00:27:10
and a broken collarbone,00:27:12
however, we are not old yet, from the end of our hearts we are00:27:14
not going to00:27:16
all of you, just about one thing, tell us00:27:19
the benefit in which we could get00:27:21
pleasure window our music was not very00:27:24
frightening a and in x words city of Moscow00:27:27
dear a and in Khokhlova it’s nice that you00:27:30
wrote to us again on how life’s adversities00:27:33
were able to break your spirit and cravings for00:27:35
sex, I’m sorry, we hope they will grow together and you will soon00:27:38
be back in line with yours00:27:40
cat and mouse touches the pose,00:27:42
since you already have considerable experience,00:27:44
we can recommend you the waterfall pose,00:27:47
which we are sure will give you a lot of00:27:49
pleasure, this is the most exotically00:27:51
easy option, pose 69,00:27:53
the diagram is attached, and as for your00:27:56
cat and mouse on a lithium saucer of milk so that00:27:59
it no longer interferes with greetings guys,00:28:01
dear editors, we curse the day00:28:07
when we subscribed to your magazine,00:28:10
the best thing about you was that we didn’t know you or your00:28:12
sexual poses,00:28:13
you will do everything as advised, my husband00:28:16
stood over me, I hugged his neck with my legs,00:28:18
he threw away the crutch, he’s still00:28:22
walking, the crutches lifted me up,00:28:24
I Naturally, the UN jerked from the gravity of00:28:27
my weight, because I still don’t have the strength of00:28:29
the cast, I00:28:30
backed away with me, and then I asked for00:28:32
saucers of milk, which we, on your00:28:37
advice, are in the sky, cats beads00:28:39
are better by a ton, I stepped on the saucer with my foot and00:28:41
began to fall over,00:28:43
I understand that we are falling. I grabbed with my00:28:46
hand the first thing that came to00:28:47
hand, but I couldn’t hold on to it, the first00:28:50
last thing I came across,00:28:52
and then I hit it with my head and fell in. She did00:28:55
n’t go back, but she still managed to rest her00:28:57
head on the table and cursed and how to have a00:29:00
special one lying in the clinic anatoly with with a broken00:29:02
head and with my neck turned, I’m00:29:05
only looking to the left, thank you for your00:29:08
stupid advice, she’ll get well, we’ll come00:29:10
to your editorial office and give you such00:29:13
Tomsk Krauts who will forever forget about00:29:16
all your positions00:29:18
as a father, I’m going to,00:29:27
but just so you know, it gives two pleasures, the00:29:30
first is when you drink it00:29:39
second, this is when you have the opportunity00:29:41
to get rid of 1 and it is still unknown which00:29:49
of these pleasures I00:29:52
got more of, I mean, citizens have long been at a beer00:29:55
festival, that is, beer sea, everyone dives into this00:29:59
sea and for several hours do not00:30:01
come up on television, here, of course, the most00:30:04
worthy are filmed and then I’ll start the country00:30:06
will be shown, the presenter says, and00:30:08
now there is a competition especially for00:30:11
television, which means who can get00:30:14
more beer for free faster, then the prize is everything, I think00:30:17
my finest hour has come many times, there00:30:20
were fighters, but whoever fell behind after 5, then00:30:23
after 7 glasses, the choice is who, after 10,00:30:26
burst, in short, after an hour of stubborn struggle00:30:29
there are two of us left and who will win is unclear00:30:32
personally, I’ve already started walking on a glass for three seconds00:30:35
and he doesn’t lag behind and the main thing is that he’s so small, I don’t00:30:40
understand where he enters, I don’t understand the presenter said that00:30:42
we are not inferior to each other, we decided to00:30:44
conduct an interview between us asks 2 what is00:30:47
yours favorite drink and he00:30:50
started to stutter from drinking it, he says, I have00:30:57
pints of beer and00:31:01
you feel no, but I felt me in00:31:06
childhood, my mother00:31:10
forced me to take certain actions with these call signs, and00:31:15
this reflex was permanently ingrained in me since childhood,00:31:18
but here such a case is00:31:21
not forced you have to be here and so just to stay like that00:31:23
on you signed and the presenter again to00:31:26
him and where do you live that year pee-pee-pee00:31:29
Peter I was shifting from foot to foot00:31:33
and to the top grief why did you fix your peppy00:31:36
and what other name do you know that00:31:40
be aware of the sun00:31:42
and the feeling in my eyes of something00:31:47
like feeding him came forward and so00:31:49
I saw the right with my left eye and at the00:31:51
bottom at that time I felt the last day of00:31:54
Pompeii00:31:55
ranks leading changing the topic as much as possible the00:31:58
same thing right now both00:31:59
discussing00:32:01
but give it well and by the second you work00:32:04
where00:32:05
dear dad about the park00:32:08
well done I say so and further add and00:32:10
who is the presenter asking that year and with00:32:13
pyrotechnics I feel now00:32:16
I will respond to these call signs I00:32:18
feel in my soul and the foam has already gone to Aries not00:32:21
like Pompey the ninth wave is approaching00:32:23
and look the dam will break through a couple, maybe00:32:26
he has a spring here, that is, he is responsible for him,00:32:28
otherwise I’m not responsible for myself, the00:32:30
leader, what’s the matter, I’m cooking, maybe it will00:32:33
explode, there will be victims, I can scald,00:32:37
especially among those who are like you00:32:40
standing next to him 2 got scared, he says there is a00:32:42
relative00:32:43
I I figured that the throws are not knappe, it seems that there00:32:45
should be no geeks, keep in mind I will show you in00:32:48
my hands, I hold it if you say it again,00:32:52
the idea is on yourself, he won, this is my uncle,00:32:54
I uncle, I think it went through,00:32:57
I say where he says, he is standing in front of the00:33:01
boat, I asked you, I want to check forget00:33:04
he cooks she aunt aunt ira leisurely by00:33:09
he says sharper where she is00:33:15
he shrank here she is which s&p00:33:19
cake I like zaroon lay down for everyone the00:33:22
shelters of the00:33:24
leading omegas don’t worry how it’s not a00:33:26
pie this pic pic pic00:33:29
cake pit be silent in taste so on a piece of paper the00:33:32
pen answers she has the keys so you00:33:34
don’t mind 2 she’s shaking to insure no I00:33:36
can answer them letter letter letter letter letter00:33:40
wine and here I felt that the second00:33:43
pleasure of beer is00:33:44
much stronger 100:33:54
ad changes the last name of the letters to a00:33:57
similar one out of 500:34:00
required cosmetics seller in the bakery00:34:03
department of the grocery store00:34:05
has disappeared dog growth among the rocks00:34:07
good-natured finder please get00:34:09
vaccinated against rabies00:34:11
reputable companies recreation provide00:34:13
wealthy people with the following services swimming00:34:15
pool sauna dinner massage of a beautiful00:34:18
girl ambulance intensive care funeral home00:34:20
after us boy no00:34:25
older than 40 years old owner of a commercial00:34:28
tent height 160 weight 17000:34:33
air defense colonel in the remainder with00:34:35
a little sclerosis, give away all military00:34:37
secrets if he remembers a wealthy woman,00:34:42
32 years old, pretty, intelligent, will marry00:34:44
any decent person except00:34:46
Kharitonov, seeds of Ivanovich, brute,00:34:54
guys, that's enough to live somehow, eat whatever you can,00:34:58
lie down, settle in 11, I'll start00:35:00
doing exercises,00:35:01
I'll go in for sports in the morning, I got up at seven in the morning00:35:04
doused myself with ice water and went to bed became00:35:09
10 hawks sang and put them in the closet so they did00:35:13
n’t take up space had breakfast carrots00:35:16
greens tomatoes pasta with meat00:35:18
worked from 10:30 to 10:40 at 10:4500:35:22
nothing more new sweets just tea00:35:24
without sugar and a loaf of liverwurst00:35:28
11:00 until eleven 30 and physical00:35:30
exercises lay down on the floor arms along the body00:35:33
stretched out my legs and fell asleep 4 hours of victories according to the00:35:38
blood test half a glass of kefir a pan of00:35:41
pea soup00:35:42
a map of the salon half a jar of pickles I00:35:45
remember well that you can’t drink after a meal00:35:47
so I drank half a liter of compote before meals00:35:51
15 hours in corbo why is he walking briskly00:35:53
to the sofa afternoon nap 16 hours00:35:58
running in place at 160500:36:00
rest from running until 1700 working with his head00:36:04
thinking about making00:36:07
1700 afternoon snack with donuts 190000:36:12
low-calorie dinner I remember I need to00:36:14
drink 2 liters of liquid a day I drank00:36:16
half a liter of vodka and liter of wine snacks00:36:20
low in calories herring00:36:22
jellied sauerkraut with horseradish00:36:23
piglet went to bed couldn’t sleep got up00:36:27
ate I00:36:28
give you my word tomorrow I’m going on a00:36:31
new diet00:36:32
not to eat after one in the morning advice to women00:36:40
if somehow he paid attention to you00:36:42
and was blowing all the time borrow00:36:46
more money from him and don’t00:36:48
give it back longer if you want your husband00:36:52
to look at00:36:53
strange women on the street, buy him a hat00:36:56
three sizes larger if you want00:36:59
all men to immediately pay attention to you,00:37:01
go out into the street wearing only a gas mask00:37:05
if you want nights before getting rid of00:37:07
freckles, put your face in an anthill for two or three hours00:37:10
if you want your husband to love00:37:14
you more than life itself, give him such a00:37:15
life00:37:16
if you want everyone around you to go00:37:19
crazy about you, buy yourself a dog,00:37:21
even a small one, but it’s definitely mad00:37:25
if you’re crooked legs, bulging eyes,00:37:29
sparse hair00:37:31
and a nasty voice, be proud of you, Masyanya,00:37:40
now only healers are divorced, so many of00:37:44
these doctors, not doctors, just the healer, are00:37:49
divorced, you know all these psychics,00:37:52
manuals, and then you can find these ones00:37:54
that look00:37:56
like carrion by hand, they call palmists00:37:59
the correct one, I didn’t even know before what00:38:01
is palmistry? I think it’s a monty, but00:38:03
not very good,00:38:04
but how do these palmists recognize everyone by the hand? I00:38:08
know where everything was, what will happen, and even in00:38:11
which store, and we now00:38:14
have a terrible number of geologists: every00:38:15
third oh every second swindler, my00:38:18
Toyota neighbor went to the session what did00:38:20
n’t they do there00:38:21
and walked barefoot on broken glass and00:38:24
lay on nails one there you add salt and I00:38:27
drank and also had another glass before00:38:29
dinner not with glasses on an empty stomach and in no00:38:32
way my neighbor went for this season came00:38:35
home to his mother-in-law imagine, try00:38:37
at least a glass of potassium cyanide, maybe you,00:38:41
too, are a yogi, well, you didn’t persuade her, but now in00:38:44
general they don’t even begin to treat a healer, but00:38:46
just our ordinary people,00:38:47
people gather on television and talk00:38:50
about how they cured someone or00:38:53
cured themselves00:38:54
and found some way treatment, one00:38:56
guy on TV told me that he00:38:58
came up with a new way to relieve00:39:00
nervous tension, a very00:39:02
original way, and in the morning he00:39:04
eats a pack of yeast, half a kilo of00:39:08
granulated sugar, washes it all down with a liter of boiled00:39:11
water and sits on a warm radiator for half an hour,00:39:15
he’s just as cheerful there avoided00:39:18
any nervous tension,00:39:20
one woman told how she00:39:22
got rid of creaking joints, her00:39:25
joints were so crowded, the dog was starting to be and00:39:27
that we only applied Liddell and hot sand to the00:39:29
area with alcohol, she00:39:31
rubbed it and turpentine didn’t help anything,00:39:34
this neighbor came up with the idea of the primate,00:39:35
the neighbor came and lubricated it with machine oil00:39:38
floorboards in the floor and nothing at all,00:39:48
one guy suffered terribly from impotence,00:39:50
suffered terribly, everything he didn’t do,00:39:52
listen and he took this Viagra, it didn’t00:39:55
help, and he already drank celery juice,00:39:58
you didn’t come out of the toilet, he did00:40:00
n’t do anything, his wife didn’t help00:40:03
I gave up hanging myself, I wanted to hang myself, then00:40:05
I got married to someone else and everything is fine, you00:40:07
representative live soul to soul, you will touch everyone00:40:09
and everyone is like the spitting image of a neighbor, one guy00:40:15
showed in front of all the honest people in the whole00:40:17
country how to treat stuttering, they took a stutterer, the00:40:19
stutterer was terrible, no one could00:40:22
wait until he at least one word you00:40:23
say, someone scared him as a child, he00:40:26
just couldn’t finish the phrase, that’s00:40:28
how he stuttered medals from a folk00:40:30
craftsman in a wedge, you have to knock them out with a wedge, he00:40:32
put this bunny in the middle of this00:40:35
studio, he crept up from behind and such a heavy00:40:38
wooden mallet when he hit himself in the head and00:40:41
still no stuttering lies in the intensive care unit00:40:44
and doesn’t even stutter, and the whole family came to00:40:50
teach them it’s scary to see acne on the body, to see the00:40:56
program and go there,00:40:59
the healer says why don’t you wait a year, I00:41:01
usually eat Dima’s pea soup,00:41:03
boiled beets, cucumbers then00:41:07
we wash it down with milk to filter normal Fedor does00:41:11
n’t even know the year of the closet to advise about a00:41:13
man one showed how to treat barley00:41:16
they took a man from the city00:41:18
they put me in the middle of this studio in the traditional way this00:41:21
healer runs away as fast00:41:23
as he can spit in the eye of this hit we blame him and00:41:28
he also didn’t expect it on a grand scale when I was able00:41:30
to, as a result, infuriate me, this one without an eye,00:41:33
but it was cured correctly, one woman00:41:39
told me, you know, he told me how to00:41:41
get rid of a sore throat in 10 minutes, a00:41:42
very simple way, it00:41:44
turns out you need to breathe on the toad often, often, the toad00:41:48
is fresh, the toad is terrible like war, she took00:41:52
this toad, her face is pushed towards the toad00:41:54
and her face is the sister of life than the toad and how00:41:57
she started breathing the toad how the site will squeal for00:41:59
10 minutes and the toad has no sore throat00:42:03
one girl told how to get rid of00:42:05
freckles00:42:06
very simply it turns out you need to lower the anthill to 23000:42:08
and no drawing00:42:12
one woman told how to get rid00:42:14
of wrinkles the wrinkles were terrible, just00:42:16
that for a week they smoothed out00:42:18
some threads with an iron;00:42:19
nothing helped; his signs came up with the idea;00:42:21
I was told by an old woman in the village; she00:42:24
started drinking00:42:26
three liters of beer every night at night; she wakes up in the morning,00:42:28
smooth and00:42:29
cool;00:42:30
1 wrinkles, but of course everything was amazing;00:42:38
diagnose he looks and immediately00:42:41
says what kind of diseases it means one00:42:43
woman comes to him and says but so far his00:42:44
fingers while he hurts here he00:42:46
hurts here he hurts here he is sick he00:42:48
looked no yes it’s just your finger00:42:50
is broken as I guessed the other’s pulse00:42:54
Igor measured your pulse is normal that one00:42:57
year, the doctor, believe me, on another river00:42:59
because it’s my prosthesis, oh, what ca00:43:02
n’t you see there in the captions, oh well,00:43:04
as long as he asks for benefits, even if he’s asking us, at least the00:43:06
TV people, what kind of money00:43:08
everyone makes from our health00:43:10
[applause]00:43:17
I came alone to my mother-in-law’s dacha, she’s as00:43:20
usual began to teach him how to live,00:43:22
screamed, screamed and fainted, the man00:43:25
got scared at night in the yard, he does00:43:27
n’t know anyone here in the village, grabbed his mobile phone,00:43:29
dialed the number of the hospital that was leaking in00:43:31
Russia, was recorded and ended up in the boiler room00:43:33
for the referee,00:43:34
who was used to his calling about00:43:36
gas furnaces, boilers and heating00:43:38
systems and there was such00:43:41
a conversation between him hello hello this is an ambulance00:43:43
but which one they think and the one on duty I can00:43:46
hear you can hear and maybe from00:43:48
only these the doctor would have left I need to contact I’ll00:43:50
get it today I’m draining the duty officer00:43:53
me a disaster it was clear there would be a00:43:56
bottle you would It’s unlikely that he called us and then00:43:59
we let it drain and it switched off, then do it, let’s00:44:01
double the drain and it’s clear to you that00:44:04
nothing good can be done, but that the00:44:06
whole system has switched off or the air is just00:44:08
not getting through from the bullets, I know I’m a doctor or00:44:12
something, well then, sniff and smell it it seems00:44:15
like no, well, if it means there is a00:44:20
gas leak, not00:44:21
when you take a hammer and knock on the head,00:44:25
but when it moves, turn the neck 18000:44:28
degrees and fart, it doesn’t resist,00:44:31
but it won’t not buzz, yeah, well, then it means00:44:36
you need to remove the plug and throw it on00:44:39
surge is there as it should be, swearing at everyone with00:44:42
his head, I ask Rudi Polka, take00:44:45
a poker,00:44:46
and as a joke, fill the nozzles deeper and00:44:49
only after that, clean the neck, in00:44:52
what sense in the literal sense, the brush is sm Artem, it’s00:44:56
fat, and I’m00:44:58
studying here and there, of course, try Pratt, I don’t understand00:45:01
where there the brush will go from our00:45:04
grease paint, it will slip00:45:08
past with a handkerchief around the entire perimeter,00:45:10
they are very light and then become00:45:13
a flap so that not today life00:45:16
1 toy blowing department I thought where where from00:45:20
below of course the00:45:22
previous knee, check if it00:45:25
goes awry, so the knee is extinct00:45:28
I turned it out, so it turned off and it00:45:32
furiously furrows but weakly yeah, well, that means we’ll drain the00:45:36
water, how to put it00:45:39
in an album without a nozzle through Belgium, which00:45:42
means pull out the pan and unscrew it and00:45:45
the buffer,00:45:47
how to unscrew it clockwise and as00:45:51
soon as you let go of the peony post, dad00:45:54
to the girls here dad I’ll find it00:45:57
well, you can’t, you need to take it on00:45:58
the highway and clean it all over the body and00:46:01
in the back for a day to the front valve00:46:05
what kind of cable how to clean it and00:46:08
told the dunce a plug and made it,00:46:09
yes there’s no plug for the notes thunder00:46:12
although wait a minute, although in general the fitting works00:46:14
for me and for my horse, apparently00:46:18
for a long time, you haven’t thought of it,00:46:20
these tundras themselves, the pain forgot to00:46:23
sell everything, then you need to eye 8 because of him with00:46:25
both hands for someone for no one for00:46:29
what for the fitting for yours now rest your00:46:32
feet firmly and move it from there to00:46:34
here to the left00:46:35
to the right up the rice is served in00:46:38
general, yes, and you look at it completely, you don’t00:46:41
tear it off, keep00:46:42
in mind the fitting must fit tightly00:46:45
into the cuff, and it dangles your medal all over00:46:47
the neck, which neck is which cuff,00:46:51
my mother-in-law is00:46:53
completely passed out, I have a cigarillo couture, the carnage00:46:56
inside went down axes and cola and00:46:59
can’t she herself St. Petersburg affairs00:47:02
ketchup table and sanal what the scoundrel00:47:04
did to me while he passed out and00:47:06
why did the camp brush poke his ear00:47:10
and then Wednesday put my nostrils in,00:47:13
arched to take it and so he didn’t find out where00:47:16
she thought and where the damper was I I never00:47:22
cease to be amazed by the folk story, this is00:47:24
what an unknown folk poet wrote00:47:26
yesterday, why can’t my son00:47:29
sleep next to his mother, why, and the00:47:31
fact that his mother is 30, and his mother is not his, only00:47:38
in his favorite folk could00:47:40
such a wonderful joke arise, would you like to00:47:42
have a drink now, no, but now, but with This00:47:47
also echoes the people's Lyosha, let's go00:47:49
buy a copy, how strange it is today00:47:51
you pronounce the words vodka will not end00:47:56
this triptych so you want to drink this is not what it00:47:57
will be yes you have no idea honestly a00:48:02
good accountant has but he still00:48:03
has two years to serve this is also folk humor00:48:07
you understand yes it is so unexpected00:48:10
folk humor, for example, such a powerful00:48:12
laxative, but in life you00:48:14
will not guess00:48:15
the most powerful laxative and an00:48:17
unexpected meeting with a bear such an00:48:22
author can compose such an elegant00:48:23
reprise there are two news, one is bad, I will be00:48:25
fired good, you too,00:48:29
this is a consequence of where you work, not00:48:31
where and I’m nearby folk00:48:35
women's humor is especially good. Yesterday I asked my husband for 20000:48:37
dollars for a beauty salon,00:48:39
he looked at me carefully and gave me00:48:41
thousands of dollars,00:48:43
and you know how women meet, one00:48:46
says to another, Mary Ivanna, that they00:48:48
went to the beauty salon until it was closed,00:48:56
of course, all this humor is someone's life - then00:48:59
he told what happened went to the people as an00:49:01
anecdote, I believe that it was so, the husband left00:49:04
for 10 days on a business trip, the wife00:49:06
decided to go to her mother for the same 10 days in another city,00:49:08
they parted and cried, the meeting was no00:49:10
less stormy on the beach in Egypt and in this00:49:15
situation I believe my conversation, berries, I’ll00:49:17
get drunk, I’m not afraid of anyone, I’m not even afraid of my wife, I’ve never tried to00:49:21
achieve this to such an extent,00:49:23
once I was faithfully refueled, I00:49:25
was struck by the sign that said there was no gasoline.00:49:29
at all !00:49:31
I asked why such a strange phrase00:49:33
sells, but what if we just use gasoline and00:49:36
no, everyone asks a generally normal00:49:42
conversation between two women, not meant to00:49:43
joke, do you think the car from the00:49:45
army will wait for it, given it and it will work, they00:49:48
always waited about the situation in life, 200:49:52
mechanics on the pole below, granny is coming,00:49:54
granny says about Dima Terk, pick up the00:49:56
ground wire and which one is red and yellow, well,00:49:59
let’s pick up the red one, thank you, put it in00:50:01
place, well, you see, I told you that he’s in00:50:03
phase, phase,00:50:05
and you won’t understand this, either there was00:50:10
an anecdote in Canada, they held a00:50:11
deforestation competition who is faster and bigger you are a00:50:14
ruby and suddenly a small man00:50:16
with a small hatchet appears and00:50:18
overtakes everyone and where are you working with00:50:20
passed that edge of an omelette in sugar, but there is a00:50:23
forest there and no, well, there00:50:24
will be no00:50:27
life situation here the woman met a00:50:29
guy they liked decided to rent00:50:31
an apartment in half a year later I find out that the00:50:34
apartment is his property,00:50:43
there is no foreigner, we can never be understood in00:50:47
any way, we live not how we work and how00:50:48
we relax, they will never learn our language00:50:51
thoroughly in their lives so that they can understand our00:50:53
humor and what about the distant neighbor who doesn’t00:50:56
understand us at school the Georgian teacher00:50:58
speaks to the children the Russian language is a very difficult00:50:59
language,00:51:00
look at them Nastya this girl00:51:04
they Nastya it’s bad weather many00:51:11
saints it’s very difficult for a foreigner to study00:51:13
our language here I have a friend my Joseph is an00:51:15
American who lives in Moscow to study a00:51:18
decent language here every time I know it I’m00:51:20
perplexed by ordinary Russian00:51:22
expressions, for example, I once00:51:24
told him that my hands couldn’t reach to see what was wrong with00:51:30
him, I was tormented by questions about what my00:51:33
hands were on and how they looked closer, how00:51:37
foreigners are used to00:51:39
learning a language, so that a sentence must00:51:41
have a subject predicate and an object of00:51:42
the definition, and we have a sentence00:51:45
entirely made up of predicates, how00:51:47
can a foreigner understand the phrase go buy a00:51:50
drink or a snack? for us it’s normal I00:51:55
the phrase is correct00:51:57
and the phrase00:52:00
yes no probably the questionnaire confuses00:52:06
then or no yes probably or no00:52:09
probably but with us everything is clear if00:52:12
you want a drink yes no probably you will be00:52:14
and which one on the pages will understand why the husband on the00:52:19
springs where are you going answers00:52:22
will be back soon there is no connection between these two00:52:26
sentences00:52:27
well there is no like I once Joseph so I00:52:30
read a joke from a magazine to my friend00:52:32
about laughter not someone very simple00:52:34
police girl met he did not00:52:35
He says let’s stay with me for the first time00:52:37
and go home in the morning. I laughed00:52:42
until I saw him Josie Pie, he took out00:52:45
some kind of notebook and wrote with the00:52:48
Russians for the first time, this is one night,00:52:51
one day we were in a company of more people of00:52:54
different nationalities, among others,00:52:56
I was moaning. especially for him, he told00:52:57
a joke about the Estonian metro in the Estonian00:53:00
metro, the carriage driver00:53:02
announced the station, the next station, and00:53:06
here we were,00:53:11
everyone was laughing except the Estonians, about fifteen minutes later00:53:15
he also laughed, I was looking, I00:53:17
understood why it was funny because in00:53:19
Tallinn there is no metro00:53:24
here already and the rest all died hundreds of00:53:27
one day a German got stuck in front of him, they00:53:30
told them dot how one military man00:53:32
returned from a business trip and sees his wife's00:53:34
best friend lying in bed, he took out a00:53:37
revolver and shot his lover, his wife00:53:39
says you're still crazy, you'll00:53:41
end up with no friends at all,00:53:42
they're a rock, I realized she only cheated on him00:53:45
with his friends00:53:49
told an Englishman an anecdote about00:53:50
how one of our people went to London on00:53:52
a business trip to call from London to my00:53:54
wife, my wife says how the palms are there, he says00:53:57
London could she says you are a goat only00:53:59
in London you can,00:54:04
the Englishman was terribly indignant why she00:54:08
told him so rudely, I can confirm00:54:10
in London it really happens that one00:54:15
American came to our country, he is00:54:18
the owner of a network, a00:54:19
computer scientist, and he came and met with00:54:22
our computer, they didn’t sit down here, they began to00:54:24
remember the modus, the American said we00:54:27
started in the garage with a soldering iron, ours00:54:29
said not with us, except for the soldering iron, there00:54:31
was also an iron, that’s all for you it’s clear, yes, but he00:54:37
still thinks, then in the production of00:54:38
computers, an iron is needed, the00:54:42
meeting of a foreigner with our medicine is00:54:45
generally a shock for any foreigner, one00:54:47
foreigner had an attack of appendicitis, it00:54:49
means they brought him to the hospital,00:54:51
they put him on the operating table,00:54:54
an anesthesiologist performs magic over him, suddenly you00:54:57
notice a foreigner from that the other one smells like alcohol,00:54:59
then you’re drunk and she’s slimy foam00:55:03
food surgeons didn’t see the other00:55:08
foreigner’s head was spinning contact00:55:10
our doctor the doctor gave him two pills00:55:12
he said take one pill at night and00:55:14
if you wake up take a second00:55:16
pill one of our new Russians00:55:21
took his partner on business,00:55:23
foreigners sat in a restaurant, drank and ate,00:55:25
walked around, everything was fine until00:55:27
ours decided to joke,00:55:29
he said, you know, our waiters get insolent,00:55:32
like what, you understand, I00:55:34
say why are your napkins so and00:55:36
greasy,00:55:37
he knows that he answered me that he here, you00:55:39
stop wiping your face with pancakes00:55:41
and he wanted to, the foreigner turned pale and00:55:46
asked why you were wiping your face with pancakes,00:55:49
came the second one, so she turned even more pale on the page,00:55:52
he said, so we ate napkins00:55:55
with caviar, one foreigner00:56:01
bought a watermelon on our street, they nicknamed him and00:56:04
what happened to him ask the seller00:56:06
the watermelons are good, he said who took them,00:56:09
none have returned yet, well,00:56:14
I want to finish this collection with an anecdote that00:56:16
Yuri once told, owners00:56:18
Nikulin 1 diary entry, Italians00:56:20
drank with Russians yesterday,00:56:22
almost died next entry in Mecca,00:56:25
Italians drank with Russians again today00:56:27
It’s better in I died yesterday00:56:39
I want to tell you to myself that’s all00:56:41
in spirit, but I’m a tall, handsome00:56:43
blond with blue eyes, I have a first00:56:46
rank in boxing, 2 according to the plan, a third in00:56:48
chess, I really like women and00:56:50
I have only one flaw, I’m terribly00:56:52
fond of lying.00:56:58
to be serious, I’m not tall,00:57:00
not blond, with blue eyes, I do00:57:02
n’t do sports at all now, and women00:57:05
really love me, but only pregnant women,00:57:06
someone told them that during this period they need to00:57:08
communicate with tall, beautiful blond,00:57:10
blue eyes,00:57:11
see me again, yes, I am, but I00:57:16
merged child, of course you are interested in00:57:18
my relationship with Mur Yama, I want to say right away00:57:20
that my humor, in my opinion, comes00:57:22
from my grandfather’s girl and had very00:57:24
good such subtle humor, I myself00:57:28
don’t remember about the report, he told me00:57:30
that every evening he sat at the table drinking00:57:32
tea and saying sentences what a good tasty00:57:35
and healthy tea, if you drink this tea for00:57:37
120 years in a row you can live a long time and it00:57:43
gives good humor and when he got sick and the00:57:46
doctor came to him, he sat down on the bed and00:57:48
said, well, what’s hurting us, you know how00:57:50
doctors sometimes say what’s hurting us00:57:51
they know that you have a leg00:57:53
on which you sat, like all normal00:57:59
children, graduated from school there, would have graduated from an00:58:01
aircraft engine technical school, then studied at the00:58:03
Moscow Aviation Institute, as00:58:05
one famous writer announces me,00:58:08
he says, here is a strange man, Izmailov00:58:10
taught his host of studios for 6 years before I still00:58:13
can’t understand why planes fly but do00:58:15
n’t flap their wings00:58:16
in our honor. I haven’t worked a single day00:58:21
in the aviation industry,00:58:22
and at the same time, even you will be very grateful to me00:58:30
right after I graduated from stood and00:58:33
I started writing for00:58:36
pop artists and for the radio nanny00:58:39
and I even wrote the first story with which the00:58:41
mess began, we wrote together with my00:58:44
co-author Valery Chudey, you probably00:58:46
remember such a plot was with which the00:58:48
mess began there is such00:58:49
Spartak Mishulin and such a red-haired boy00:58:52
they are talking by the elevator cool Dnepr00:58:54
in calm weather when wander around00:58:56
show off in front of him through the forests and mountains00:58:58
cool waves his books knits and won’t be00:59:00
covered was rested his zenki you open your00:59:02
mitten and don’t know in front of him and only00:59:04
Pandora a rare bird sage Nobel that00:59:07
cup to the middle of the Dnieper Isis amuses00:59:09
Friday and threw away his hooves00:59:16
that’s why you and I know each other a very long time ago, not00:59:19
only because you sometimes see me00:59:21
on television and because the best00:59:23
artists of our country, I mean00:59:25
comedians, performed fights, immortal00:59:27
works, you probably remember the00:59:29
monologues of this idiot from the culinary00:59:31
college, remember yes, and then you probably00:59:33
remember the monologue with which00:59:35
real popularity began now a very00:59:37
famous actress Elena Stepanenko00:59:39
letter damn Clinton remember yes war and00:59:48
peace remember00:59:52
also one good author wrote it so00:59:55
happened that in addition to writing00:59:57
for the stage00:59:58
I was also published in a literary newspaper I01:00:00
wrote stories there and then woof with01:00:03
whom we were friends then wrote I have a01:00:04
program too, you know woof, they write such01:00:06
kind, affectionate, very laudatory01:00:10
programs for me, they wrote the same one, it01:00:11
sounds like you’re so lucky, idiot, that you01:00:14
got into literature,01:00:20
but it’s disgusting, applause, and when I01:00:23
received the third Golden Calf Prize,01:00:25
and there was such a Golden Calf Prize,01:00:27
by the way the only three times winner of the01:00:29
Golden Calf Award I wait,01:00:31
applaud each and the only one 3 for01:00:33
all the others four times 5 loves well, that01:00:40
means I started traveling with the team of this01:00:42
club 12 chairs we performed everywhere we01:00:44
went we were paid naturally money01:00:46
and such good money was paid01:00:49
how much the writers went here and This01:00:52
improved financial situation01:00:53
allowed me to get married01:00:55
very nicely in the magazine and01:00:57
we have a family so that it wouldn’t be my01:00:59
fault, one day I’m sitting without touching anyone at all,01:01:02
she enters the room with a cup, the01:01:05
cup suddenly falls out, the sound of people01:01:07
breaks, she looks at me so angry01:01:09
and I haven’t come up with anything yet, I’m01:01:11
sitting in silence when she screams, you’re silent here01:01:14
by the arm,01:01:18
well, that’s how we wrote for literature,01:01:22
newspapers were published, whoever read knew our01:01:24
names, no one knew our finger, but in01:01:27
1178 a program began to appear01:01:29
around laughter, a satirist writer01:01:31
got tired of showing on television01:01:33
they began to recognize us on the street, but my01:01:35
recognition is somehow strange,01:01:37
it’s still the same. Recently, a woman came up to me and01:01:39
handed me a book of01:01:41
bobbins and said please write it down01:01:44
Arkady Mikhailovich,01:01:46
I realized that he confused me right away from the01:01:49
bobbins to them from arcanum at home okay, I’ll be01:01:51
at the same level, written by Semyon Altov,01:01:56
he blushed and said thank you, Semyon01:01:59
Altavich, but what else do I want to tell you?01:02:02
I went to different countries, spoke in the01:02:04
original language of the country, and everywhere I01:02:07
was understood, in Azerbaijan and in Kyrgyzstan and01:02:10
in Tajikistan and everywhere but kvass vangi there01:02:13
was some kind of hitch, of course01:02:15
the British know their native language very poorly,01:02:18
well, think for yourself, I lived there for a month,01:02:21
spoke English for a month, at least someone01:02:23
understood01:02:28
during this time I managed to write 15 books,01:02:31
wrote - 400 monologues for a variety of01:02:33
artists,01:02:34
even one new film now two plays01:02:36
are playing in Moscow and with you a popular01:02:40
work that I am one small01:02:41
miniature it was in Yalta I left the01:02:44
hotel at the entrance there were two men and a01:02:46
woman and it’s not visible that01:02:48
I’ve just met and the women are so flirtatious01:02:49
he says how old I am01:02:52
guess he’ll be even I01:02:54
can’t imagine, she’s cooking, I’ll tell you, my daughter01:02:57
goes to kindergarten, she knows that01:02:58
the managers work there, it01:03:05
was broadcast on TV that in Norway, an accident happened01:03:08
at a chocolate factory and this very01:03:11
chocolate spilled isotec over 150 meters, well, can01:03:15
you imagine a chocolate ribbon over 15001:03:18
meters, I don’t want to eat, but we there, no,01:03:23
I can’t seem to be in the right01:03:26
place at the right time, I always01:03:29
find myself in the wrong place, and somehow, past a01:03:31
construction site, some guys are sitting, falling, having01:03:33
a snack, I pass by, one of them says01:03:37
I can have a drink, if you want, well, who01:03:39
would refuse? That’s right, I agreed, I think01:03:42
so I found myself at the right time in the right01:03:44
place, he came here, I walked three steps01:03:48
and the hole fell with cement, well the01:03:52
cement was still dry when the dust settled,01:03:55
I saw three more people there in the hole, they also01:03:59
want a drink on the ball,01:04:00
I’ll hand it over to the men, they gave them a drink once again, just01:04:05
kidding, we'll have a bite, well, I had01:04:09
a mobile phone, I called the Ministry of Emergency Situations, they pulled us01:04:12
out, that's why it wasn't me, and we had dinner,01:04:14
maybe it means we were in the wrong place,01:04:16
once a man was walking down the street01:04:19
in front of me with a wallet, earlier I picked it up right01:04:22
there, 2 flew up and said, give me the money01:04:25
divide as soon as we started to select the01:04:27
first one comes back, well, what do you all01:04:29
know this story about, yes, they threw me at 3000,01:04:32
everyone knows this trap, and now I01:04:35
know it, here I am standing near a telephone01:04:38
booth, looking for a card to call, I01:04:41
rummaged through all my pockets, finally found a card01:04:43
some guy next to me seems to be rubbing himself, like he01:04:46
also wants to call, suddenly he picks up01:04:48
his wallet and tells me this is not your01:04:50
wallet,01:04:51
but I’m also a grated roll, I’m right, dumb,01:04:54
and don’t hope,01:04:56
he’s got money here, 4 thousand, someone01:04:58
lost it, let’s split it, I’ll get01:05:01
it right now on the head and in the intensive care unit with the doctors01:05:04
the bush is shared by01:05:06
him yes you are a crazy chest get out of here before01:05:08
he calls the police he blows from me and01:05:11
what do you think I come home rummaging through my01:05:14
pockets there is no wallet01:05:18
remembering 100 exactly 4000 I01:05:20
had a wallet in my wallet that was mine01:05:23
that idiot I wanted to return him, but I01:05:27
unleashed all the dogs on him, which means it’s not him, but01:05:29
I’m an idiot, and my01:05:32
wallet agreed to share him, so at least 200001:05:35
turned out 4 correctly, and so he started all four, it01:05:37
turned out to be at the right time, in the01:05:41
wrong place for me, but for me women are01:05:44
still the same all the time, I’m walking along the street of the01:05:47
Polingrad highway, I’m driving, as they say, I’m01:05:49
not touching anyone, I’m looking at a01:05:51
pretty girl, she’s standing, bending over and straightening her tights,01:05:54
I’m standing there, watching her straightening her01:05:56
tights, straightening her tights, she01:05:59
tells me that she liked the01:06:00
games, it’s not the word, but the people, and you men01:06:04
are nothing word for word01:06:06
she tells me how much I like you era01:06:09
how much you like me01:06:10
she’s here for 150 dollars I01:06:12
like you great good she even appreciated me in01:06:17
green ones they appreciated me in wooden ones the word01:06:19
for glory came to me and somehow01:06:22
I quickly gave in didn’t even eat, didn’t01:06:25
drink and had time,01:06:26
not to mention the fact that she01:06:27
resisted not at all didn’t01:06:29
resist in short than with not only they did01:06:32
n’t do anything there ended happily01:06:33
and even some cool guy told me01:06:36
and added and now01:06:40
I’m paying hot dresses for that’s what 15001:06:43
dollars I cut out that with my foot for01:06:45
the service01:06:46
I’m in a row you fell in love with me at first01:06:49
sight I looked at you in the mirror today in court01:06:52
and the fact that with part 101:06:56
will follow it’s difficult to fall in love yourself you have to01:06:59
live what then to give yourself up01:07:01
yes this is for big money I’m what big money you are01:07:04
eat, I said for 150 dollars yaga up to 15001:07:08
dollars and I have to wash the floors a month,01:07:10
cook, wash and satisfy the lawsuit, the aunt will01:07:13
quickly please, calls somewhere and the same01:07:16
two big guys appear01:07:17
and so you please me that you gave them all three hundred01:07:19
juice only they will never in their lives see the01:07:22
ball again hit the wrong place at the wrong01:07:25
time, right, and then somehow01:07:27
I’m standing near the toilet, I just came out, well, the01:07:30
public toilet on the street didn’t01:07:32
have time to leave, when a man runs out of the corner with a yellow01:07:35
briefcase and says, comrade, don’t hold01:07:37
the briefcase, I’ll go to the toilet,01:07:39
I’ll come fool, I take the briefcase, he hides01:07:42
in the toilet, I barely got the lid of the01:07:44
briefcase, I see wads of money there, I did01:07:47
n’t have time to look back when01:07:49
three cops run out from around the same corner, grab me with01:07:51
the briefcase and I give my word to say, they drag me, a01:07:54
car pulled up right there with the words,01:07:56
got caught bastard01:07:58
they take me to the cop station and on the01:08:00
way they hang me up, don’t indulge in01:08:03
cooking, demand that I call him01:08:05
an accomplice with whom he robbed the bank, again he does01:08:08
n’t hang me up and I name everyone with whom I01:08:10
quarreled over the last 2 years01:08:16
and in the evening they bring us all there to the01:08:19
cop station in a blizzard01:08:20
and then on the second day01:08:23
you realize that these are not the ones01:08:24
and they let you go, we go out, and all those with01:08:27
whom I promised over these two years01:08:29
begin to storm me on the way out again01:08:32
and then I understand that it’s not enough to be in the01:08:35
right place, but what else are you in this01:08:37
place there were no bandages and you’ll find it and01:08:40
you’ll spend the rest of your life going to bits and pieces01:08:44
among us, polite, cultured people,01:08:48
of course, sometimes a stranger will come up to01:08:50
me and they’ll say, but on the01:08:52
screen you look better not so01:08:54
scary, but this is rarely not more than once a01:08:57
day. so, according to the tactical people, they came01:08:59
up and asked how you were doing, and lasil01:09:02
didn’t answer, and then think impolitely,01:09:04
somehow muttered, the normal one went further,01:09:06
somehow it wasn’t good,01:09:07
so when the next time a guy came up to01:09:09
me with some kind of hand, perhaps he asked01:09:11
how are you doing, and I wanted to go further01:09:14
I grabbed his hand tighter ivory, right now I’ll tell you how it was01:09:16
last day, I got a runny nose with the01:09:20
flu in the winter, I was sick in the winter, and then in the summer I ate01:09:23
fish, they didn’t bring it to light, and he has such diarrhea,01:09:25
he’s trying to survive his hand and drink Zvereva, I01:09:28
have to go to work, I’m late, not palladium,01:09:30
seo analysis, I wanted to show no,01:09:33
he shouted issued a group to run away with everyone for the01:09:35
uninteresting my business and what did he ask01:09:38
correctly not our people are mostly01:09:39
polite not rude mostly they should01:09:41
step on they apologize just don’t even think about01:09:43
saying okay in response there’s nothing right there the01:09:46
other leg will be crushed by the blades our people01:09:48
even somewhere shyly, we are seven than01:09:50
you know who he calls who drink, he even01:09:52
holds on to the wall, there’s01:09:54
even a joke about this, there’s one guy who01:09:56
got there for a long time, he walks around the apartment01:09:58
by the wall, he holds on to the wall, and here’s the son, there’s candles, a01:10:01
selection, let’s go, the bike, dad got to01:10:04
know his son, he found out, and he says that’s it01:10:07
taxi from I'll give up everything and fix01:10:09
the bike a serious person will never01:10:13
give up important things because of trifles not01:10:15
in general our people are good kind if01:10:17
you people are on the bus how did you arrive everyone is01:10:19
so decent polite the woman one01:10:22
sneezed the guy standing next to him be01:10:24
healthy says she says thank you he’s01:10:26
here please, don’t show off in appearance, yes, screw01:10:28
you, she went, although you had to go further, you01:10:33
had to do everything so politely,01:10:36
be kind, don’t take it for work out of the01:10:37
blue, one aunt01:10:41
asked the man, without suspecting anything, are you asking01:10:44
us to leave easier, he and I'm going crazy and the one01:10:48
getting off the bus is01:10:49
the one whose task correctly asked is01:10:51
that the bus is very down how crazy yes01:10:54
you look at yourself swamp kikimora01:10:57
she and fashionable Tedu embodied themselves01:11:00
looked diarrhea01:11:01
unhappy01:11:02
he told her it's me sailboat baby's laxatives01:11:05
toilet we don't go01:11:06
right It’s immediately clear that a01:11:08
premature one01:11:09
who is premature, you’re a victim of an abortion,01:11:12
he actually made test tubes for me over01:11:16
the homeland, an unwashed test tube, there were people01:11:20
around here, you’re a goat,01:11:22
and you appeared as an inventory of the zenka, hatched, Patrick01:11:25
didn’t want to be here, I bought enough of what or who you click with your01:11:28
beak, it will close the basement, it won’t01:11:30
siphon maybe you guys are01:11:31
younger today without a set of dicks salt01:11:33
released what a noise a friend made one shorn01:11:36
like a charge you are damn crazy01:11:38
all or something you are driving a blizzard like a decree the01:11:41
loaf crumble someone no post press and01:11:45
spread surayo01:11:48
stood up and went to the exit turned and01:11:50
said excuse me, my nerves were shaken and01:11:53
I came out ready to tie up the intelligent01:11:55
people, they are quiet, friendly, don’t bother, and01:11:57
so they will destroy something,01:12:00
they will organize a revolution, and they won’t touch anyone with a finger, they wo01:12:02
n’t hurt a fly01:12:08
[applause]01:12:15
I just read in the newspaper that an English01:12:19
farmer instantly and lari didn’t give me anything01:12:23
I’m making this up and in fact it was01:12:24
written Mecca and Lari, by the01:12:27
age of fifty-six he had been in 3801:12:30
accidents, and once he01:12:33
stepped on a potato, fell and broke his01:12:36
arm, another time he stepped on a cat,01:12:40
fell and broke two ribs,01:12:42
one of us touched them 38 he was riding a horse01:12:45
and fell and broke his skull only01:12:50
because the horse's hoof got into a01:12:53
plastic bag, but can you imagine, yes,01:12:56
I didn't make anything up, it's really01:12:57
a case, there's nothing funny there, well, it01:12:59
's just a clutter, all the most interesting thing is01:13:01
that this man, this farm, he's alive01:13:04
and well and he feels great in a01:13:08
cast,01:13:11
but I’ll tell you honestly, of course, I’m01:13:15
far from this English farmer, but I’m01:13:17
also such a lucky guy01:13:19
that I need to look for more, so I01:13:21
stand in line at the store at the checkout, and everything01:13:23
goes through knocking out, only I walk up, bam, the01:13:26
braids are ruined, this happens to you01:13:32
I have it all the time, but here you have01:13:35
someone like that in a car, what01:13:37
nonsense I didn’t drive, the neighbors are going faster,01:13:41
let’s live like that and it’s so easy to live, but I’m driving on the01:13:44
left to the right and01:13:49
overtakes me on the right, he stops altogether01:13:52
but it happens that you are in the park, you01:13:54
want to shoot a cigarette in the distance, not like01:13:57
God, but just a crowd came behind the bushes and everyone was with01:14:00
cameras,01:14:02
but the trouble is just to give it now look,01:14:05
once in the park a girl leaks, and then01:14:07
a man takes pictures with an eagle noir l'eau he01:14:10
puts you on your shoulder,01:14:12
he takes pictures, but this one is an eagle with a girl01:14:15
and the eagle is so proud, I’m still so proud of him for this01:14:17
photographer, he won’t do anything to me that01:14:21
you laugh at the level of01:14:24
the maxim, once a year this happens,01:14:33
an opinion, but I,01:14:35
well, I believed them, they put me in an eagle, a girl, an01:14:39
eagle like that proud and you can imagine the01:14:42
distance on this very day, but how proud and01:14:47
even in such a Czech Republic that I’ve been waiting for me all my01:14:50
life and now no eagle, no photos, no01:14:55
costume, no girl, but how will she01:14:57
meet with me if she01:14:58
starts laughing every time this is our last night a01:15:01
girl went to the army, she saw me off, she01:15:05
said that she would wait for me and wait for me01:15:08
and gave me photographs so that I would not forget her, my01:15:10
father received a letter for six months in the army, I fell01:15:13
in love with another game, I got my photo,01:15:15
I went to all the guys from the platoon, I01:15:19
took photos from all of these guys put their fiancees01:15:22
in an envelope, put a01:15:24
photo there to his girlfriend and wrote a01:15:27
letter, sorry, forgot what you look like,01:15:29
take your photo, give the rest01:15:32
back,01:15:37
begged me to come back,01:15:41
came from the army, went to work as a01:15:43
security guard at a large supermarket,01:15:46
well, I’m getting tired, I’m guarding, I’m walking, suddenly I look01:15:48
around the sports department, some01:15:51
guy on a bicycle he gives circles,01:15:54
of course I went broke for a year and found a place where to01:15:55
ride, well, out of here with his01:15:57
bike, he left,01:16:01
guess01:16:04
what, he paid for the stolen bike,01:16:08
paid the money well, went to his01:16:10
relatives, Rostov-on-Don, with two01:16:11
friends, came to the station, it was still time in the01:16:14
village, drank and had a bite, added more drinks,01:16:18
watching my train is already leaving,01:16:21
threw a pose after this, you won’t believe it,01:16:24
only those who saw me off managed to jump on the train,01:16:26
well, I’m so lucky01:16:30
if I’m traveling on a train in a compartment, a01:16:31
person with a ticket always comes to take01:16:34
my seat, or a neighbor snores like that that the01:16:38
passengers in the neighboring cars wake up,01:16:41
but once you know, once in a lifetime,01:16:43
lucky,01:16:44
come to Egypt, I come to a hotel room, a01:16:47
luxurious room, all inclusive, all01:16:49
work, I think, am I really that lucky,01:16:52
but it can’t be that everything01:16:54
fits together so well and as I looked into the water now01:16:57
I’m returning on my bed, lying drunk and a01:16:59
German and bawling songs,01:17:00
well, I couldn’t stand it, I grabbed him in my arms and01:17:03
threw him down the stairs01:17:04
half an hour later, he returned with the police,01:17:07
it’s me who mixed up the number,01:17:10
okay, I continue to live quietly in this room,01:17:13
the incident was settled, I live without harming anyone,01:17:16
but every 15 minutes someone calls and01:17:19
says you don’t want to spend time with01:17:21
girls, we have girls for every01:17:24
taste, I kept refusing 25 times, I can’t01:17:28
stand it and screamed, I want to spend time with a01:17:31
girl, chest number eight, style, cute01:17:34
and on skates, a black woman,01:17:37
and in response there is silence my wife called to01:17:39
find out how I was relaxing here,01:17:49
but once I was really lucky, you01:17:52
know, I won the lottery a million but not01:17:56
dollars rubles, well, a million faces,01:17:58
I checked the numbers on the ticket twice and01:18:00
everything fits on the newspaper, I was absolutely01:18:02
happy to do everything I’ve dreamed of in01:18:04
recent years, first of all I sent wife to01:18:07
mother-in-law forever and went to work,01:18:10
spat in the boss’s face and put in a01:18:12
letter of resignation, after that he went to01:18:15
the savings bank to get money, the newspaper01:18:17
turned out to be from last year, he wanted to commit suicide,01:18:23
he came home, he01:18:24
climbed onto the windowsill, he wanted to jump off the01:18:26
seventh floor, his wife came into the room and01:18:28
said, and take the trash with him grab01:18:32
this lucky one, so now when on01:18:34
the plane the stewardess starts talking about01:18:36
this belt, how it is then a life-saving belt01:18:39
and the whistle from sharks, I don’t even listen to her and01:18:42
they know very well that the train will be older and01:18:44
the whistle, even if the01:18:47
shark whistles, you will still come across deaf-mute01:18:56
artists popular people This01:18:58
popularity is sometimes associated with some01:18:59
funny ones. Jacobson said that in01:19:01
Tajikistan a01:19:02
woman stopped him on the street and01:19:04
said I know who you are when he became who are01:19:06
you TV01:19:09
I was in Kislovodsk some time ago to01:19:12
become there on the central one on May 7th, an01:19:14
excursion suddenly goes for me a woman from01:19:16
some excursion comes up to me to let me01:19:17
take a picture with you,01:19:19
ghoul, please, of course they just01:19:21
stood up, it means they’re in a row, and suddenly they01:19:23
come up 3 can I also go with you, the legate,01:19:26
please, yes, in general, they took a picture,01:19:28
I just walk away and hear 3 says listen01:19:31
this who is this was a holiday after the concert01:19:37
I 2 Siberia how can I01:19:39
take a picture of the game please me and01:19:40
Vata Russia but now everything is fine for you01:19:43
when they are all waiting for you and you are also01:19:45
friends sometimes people say something like that well they say it does01:19:54
n’t suggest that it will be01:19:57
funny will pay funny I for example watched01:19:59
one talk was on television and there was one01:20:01
woman in a fit of impulse means what kind of01:20:03
debate is there she said no I don’t wish him harm01:20:06
but it would be better if he died a lot of01:20:10
forest reached out of course it happens in01:20:13
Odessa well such a city in humor my city01:20:15
Nadya like 1 visitor from Odessa01:20:18
asks if I go there there will be a01:20:20
train station and to reach even if you don’t go there it01:20:22
will still be there01:20:25
at the market the link is like this tell me this01:20:27
basket for how much for ten and for01:20:29
five I’ll give those three rubles I’m taking01:20:31
the basket take it and run faster there's the01:20:33
owner, the basket is coming, you know, I myself was a01:20:38
witness, one comes up and says there in the01:20:40
fish aisle gal tell me the fish is fresh,01:20:43
the seller says it's01:20:44
alive, my mother-in-law is also alive at my house, I'll ask if the01:20:48
fish is fresh, but it's only from Odessa,01:20:51
maybe it's from Odessa, don't you know, they won't detract from it from them the01:20:54
mentality of this means one is01:20:57
suitable as a person to look for I how to01:20:59
attract Deripaska how do I find out I'm on my way from01:21:01
work well,01:21:03
amazing of course people are in the throne at the01:21:06
point the case was brought for the second time by01:21:08
the guys who cut his wrists no sister01:21:11
this is already enough she says in an hour they01:21:13
go to the client she tells him this guy01:21:15
and I’ll tell you how to cut your veins01:21:17
so that you don’t end up here again,01:21:25
here’s the situation: 1 is to split the husband01:21:28
comes drunk at one in the morning, don’t turn on the light,01:21:30
go to bed, start doing such things there,01:21:32
then it means he01:21:34
gets up silently without turning on the light gets dressed and01:21:36
leaves, returns after 20 minutes, doesn’t01:21:39
turn on the light, says sorry for work,01:21:42
was late, goes to bed and begins to sleep and01:21:45
snore, and his wife lies there until the morning and thinks who is he the01:21:48
first time you came, such are01:21:54
life situations, it means we were01:21:57
enthusiastically sitting in a restaurant having dinner.01:21:59
I tell the waiter to give me01:22:01
a toothpick, please, and the Duma didn’t look at me at a01:22:04
high price and they have it at the next table01:22:05
when you’re free, bring it to us,01:22:07
okay, but the waiter turned out to be no mistake,01:22:10
at the end of dinner he bowed so politely01:22:12
and said to shortchange you or you yourself will let01:22:20
Andrey Grad tell the story I was01:22:23
filming such a story about a film about the war in01:22:25
Western Ukraine, and there was filming01:22:27
and they were playing fascists in the slots of01:22:29
some SS men, and here they were filming in one01:22:31
village,01:22:32
they were in trouble and they were taken to a completely different01:22:34
force, and now imagine in this new01:22:36
village which is nothing knows about the shooting, a01:22:38
car, a truck, is leaving and01:22:40
20 SS men are sitting in the back, they converge, the cars are01:22:46
building, they are going to the dining room at the meeting dude01:22:48
with01:22:49
aunts 1 with a basket, she sees their01:22:52
basket, the eggs do not fall into the crumpled rosary,01:22:55
picking up the hem and shouting war and running01:22:57
down the street, this is a group of fascists kite01:23:00
dining room man1 carried spoons of March the01:23:04
Germans screamed in his throat even though everything was in the village01:23:06
and ran down the street like that in01:23:09
zigzags Huerta is from the bullets they sat down01:23:12
went completely into the snipe the drunk man01:23:13
saw the Nazis tore off his vest and01:23:17
pumped up everyone you can’t shoot and hit the01:23:20
chicken with his fist 1 one of these01:23:22
fascists,01:23:23
the last one came, a handsome, gray-haired01:23:25
village accountant with bread and salt, an01:23:29
idol, a notebook where they were copying all the01:23:32
communists of this village,01:23:35
and the last thing that shows up is the [ __ ] of01:23:38
our friends, this is of course01:23:42
a prank, I have one friend01:23:43
who calls, here he is just a special01:23:47
number for me does he call who are you01:23:48
talking to Nadya, can they tell him to put it on,01:23:50
I know I have it, I just ask,01:23:52
can we find some subtle humor like that,01:23:57
or is he calling the same person from morning to night01:24:00
and asking Pyotr01:24:02
Ivanovich, can they shout to him there that he doesn’t have01:24:05
it? They shout to a guy like that that there are01:24:08
no such people here at all, you are in the wrong place,01:24:09
stop, you know, all day01:24:11
every hour he calls like that and asks01:24:12
Peter I want the last time he calls 1201:24:15
o'clock and says excuse me please this is01:24:17
peter wants no one called me01:24:24
I have 1 friend not a bruise under the eye,01:24:27
ask why yes, a friend01:24:31
decided to get married, he and his fiancée had been01:24:33
dating for two months and were invited to the bride's party,01:24:35
that is, the family was invited to01:24:37
dinner, so01:24:38
he came to me for advice on how to01:24:40
behave there, I say panic dota, also01:24:43
one came to a friend for advice and a friend01:24:46
says you ask three questions there, one01:24:48
they ask so that everyone can see how you don’t01:24:50
care, one question about one of the01:24:52
relatives so that everyone can see that you01:24:54
care about the family and the third question is01:24:56
philosophical so that it can be seen that you are01:24:58
smart and understand and it comes and immediately 101:25:02
just for the bride to poke cutlets, do you like them, she01:25:06
doesn’t 2 it’s just a family, your brother01:25:09
likes cutlets, she says I don’t have a01:25:12
brother, but then the last question is01:25:14
philosophical, but if you had a brother, would he01:25:17
love cutlets, well, my friend and I laughed,01:25:22
he and I, so how can I be there?01:25:24
some kind of economics doctor, mom, well, it was01:25:26
normal to talk to dad about economics,01:25:29
talk to mom about medicine, about the01:25:31
girl, ask about01:25:32
the cost of Osovsky so that they know that01:25:34
you are the moon, otherwise you can’t tell correctly from you,01:25:36
so prepare01:25:39
properly, in general, I went to visit01:25:41
everyone comes to the table and sits down, he immediately, without pausing,01:25:43
tells dad what to keep the money in01:25:45
rubles, dollars or euros, and pasha, of course,01:25:49
was crazy, but still answered in rubles and01:25:51
in dollars and in euros in odzak, my friends01:25:53
and Lubny economists advise you to01:25:56
keep all your savings in gold it’s getting more expensive01:25:59
dad looked and muttered that I01:26:01
advised everyone in my last article to01:26:03
keep gold, my friend, you say it’s01:26:06
interesting for everyone to keep the site or in gold and01:26:07
keep the currency itself and dad scowled,01:26:11
my friend decided to further develop the01:26:12
economic topic since you are so smart,01:26:15
tell me economically01:26:18
I have been tormented by this question for a long time, why is it that01:26:20
if eggs are cheaper than chicken, then why is caviar01:26:22
more expensive than fish01:26:30
and Pasha was completely stunned at the hands of the war, the01:26:33
doctor turned to his mother to survive, she, well,01:26:36
yes, answer me this question: why,01:26:38
as you eat, you want to sleep so much01:26:41
because the blood rushes to your stomach my01:26:43
head is draining and I want to sleep, but01:26:44
smart people say that the skin on01:26:48
the stomach tightens and the eyes01:26:49
close and then it’s mom’s turn01:26:56
to get bored and then my daughter brought cutlets to the table,01:26:58
a friend, we were delighted,01:27:00
she says, why do you like me so much, she01:27:02
says yes he says, and you have a brother,01:27:05
she’s here for a year, oh, it’s a pity, if01:27:09
you weren’t married, I would01:27:10
have asked such a philosophical question from01:27:13
such a question, if you didn’t have01:27:15
a brother, I would have asked you what if you have01:27:17
if there was a brother, he would love cutlets, dad01:27:22
coped with himself,01:27:23
and some other problems besides cutlets are01:27:25
worrying about your life here and mom sat there and01:27:28
said, are you sure that you are01:27:29
consulting with a good psychiatrist, well, the01:27:33
girl added, in my opinion, it’s good for you to01:27:35
break it up and go to me they said that you were01:27:37
smart, but01:27:39
let’s all leave so muchDescription:
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