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  • ruRussian
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00:00:00
today's video is a recap of am i the
00:00:02
jerk videos you might have missed you
00:00:03
could throw this video onto the
00:00:04
background next time you play games go
00:00:06
to sleep or just want to chill out you
00:00:08
can also leave timestamps down below in
00:00:09
the comments so that way people can use
00:00:11
it if they've already heard a story and
00:00:12
want to skip past that one remember you
00:00:14
can always submit your own stories to be
00:00:16
featured here on the channel via the
00:00:17
link down below in the description make
00:00:19
sure you're subscribed to the channel
00:00:20
hit the bell to turn on notifications
00:00:22
and follow am i the jerk on instagram
00:00:25
with all that said let's jump straight
00:00:27
into it a karen comes into the
00:00:29
restaurant that my parents own and
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claims that she is the owner's wife i'm
00:00:34
an 18 year old male my parents own a
00:00:36
little restaurant where we sell snacks
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cakes candies and various fast foods it
00:00:41
was named after my grandparents so let's
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just call it joe's whenever i get free
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time i usually hang out there with my
00:00:47
friends to have something and i do pay
00:00:49
which also encourages my friends to pay
00:00:51
up too which i earn by working at joe's
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especially on the weekends as it becomes
00:00:56
a bit busy then like serving people or
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taking orders from them and yes we do
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have employees my dad allows me to keep
00:01:02
the tip money which customers give after
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eating and anyways my dad also pays me
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for the hours i work very few of the
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regular customers know that i am the son
00:01:12
of the owner and my parents the owners
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also work there themselves but people
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often tend to think of them as employees
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one day on a weekend a woman i don't
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know she might be in her 30s or 40s
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entered with her bratty kid who i
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suppose was around 13 years old or so
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now as it was a weekend it was a bit
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busy she was told to sit on one of the
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waiting chairs around 20 minutes or so
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later a table was ready for her she sat
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there and i went to ask her for her
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orders now i don't exactly remember what
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she ordered but it might have been a
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sandwich or something and i went to the
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kitchen to give her the order now i was
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just standing near the register to look
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for someone if they needed anything and
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her bratty kid was running around
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screaming running into people stepping
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on people's feet and even touching their
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food the mother as usual didn't seem to
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care and was now on her phone now i was
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very annoyed by this and i held the kid
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by his hand while he was running i told
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him not to run around in a pretty harsh
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voice and the kid started crying and ran
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back to his mother his mother was fuming
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because of this and came to me stomping
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and this is how the conversation went
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down the entitled mother said how dare
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you touch my child me he was running
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around and was annoying other people i
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didn't you see he was touching their
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food entitled mother well he's a child
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he can do whatever he wants to do me
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well yeah but not in my supervision
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entitled mother do you even know who i
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am me thinking here we go again i knew
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what was gonna happen so i thought of
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playing along me no ma'am i don't
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entitled mother well then you should
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know i am the wife of the owner and you
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have made a huge mistake and i will make
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sure your face will never be seen here
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again cause you're getting fired me
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thinking in my mind i thought she would
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go for a sister or a friend but she went
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for a wife and now we're gonna have some
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fun ma'am i don't think you even know
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his she cuts me off entitled mother says
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his name is insert my dad's name here i
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was kind of shocked that she knows my
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dad's name very few people knew that
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anyway me ma'am i'm very sorry i acted
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rude towards your son but please don't
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get me fired it's the only job that i
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have entitled mother oh you should have
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thought about that before you touched my
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son me but ma'am he was annoyed she cut
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me off again shut up she went to the
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register and asked for the manager my
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dad came out and talked to her about
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what happened your employee has been
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harassing my son i want him fire now my
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dad looked at me and said uh i'm sorry
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for the inconvenience but i can't just
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fire him without any reason the entitled
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mother said do you even know who you're
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talking to i'm the wife of the owner of
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joe's and i can't stand the employee
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here my dad got the biggest grin on his
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face
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why are you laughing i'm serious dad
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says i'm telling you again i'm sorry for
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the inconvenience caused would you like
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to have a refund the entitled mother
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went into total rage mode and said you
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know what i'm calling my husband and
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complaining about you and your employer
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we'll get back to you fired now the way
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that she got my dad's phone number is
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because we had it on a board outside as
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we gave home delivery so that people
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would order on call and you would get it
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dropped off so she called that phone
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number and my dad's phone rang karen the
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entitled mother was shocked he picked up
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the phone and said hello this is the
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owner of joe's how can i help you
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karen's face went red to complete white
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like if blood was drained from her he
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then said yes i am the owner and the
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manager of joe's and you are in no way
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my wife and the employee you want to be
00:05:00
fired is my son she looked at me and i
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just could not hold back my laughter
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anymore and just then her order was
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ready but until then she was already
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embarrassed enough with the whole time
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her kid crying in the background she
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dragged her kid crying by the arm didn't
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even take the order and we still have a
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great laugh about it to this day man i
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can't believe how long the op let this
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go on before actually saying anything
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and in fact didn't really say anything
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at all the only reason the entitled mom
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in this case ended up finding out that
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he was the owner's son and she was not
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the owner's wife was because she called
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the number outside and talked to the
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owner directly it is pretty surprising
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that she went straight for the wife role
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instead of all the other roles that the
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op thought she might have gone for a
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sister or a friend or something she just
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straight up said that she's the owner's
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wife the most funny comment said i
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wouldn't have been able to resist
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shouting something to the effect of mom
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you finally came home and then tried
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hugging her while faking tears of joy
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and somebody followed this up by saying
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that would be epic and hilarious and
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also say and i have a little brother is
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he a half brother or were you pregnant
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by dad when you left the bigger a scene
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is made the better that's when people
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start pulling out their phones and
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recording the whole thing if you had to
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rate this entitlement level 1 out of 10
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let me know what you would rate this
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down below in the comments a karen yells
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at me in a walmart over apple juice a
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few days ago my mom had to go to walmart
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to pick up a prescription and grab a few
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groceries she hates walmart so we always
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tried to hurry while she waited in line
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for the prescription my brother and i
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went to go look for the few groceries
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that we need we reach the grocery part
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of the store and start shopping when we
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finally go down to the drinks we see
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that there are two gallons of apple
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juice left i go to grab them when a
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woman comes up she sees me take them but
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i turn around and ask her if she was
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also coming to get apple juice she says
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yes so i offer her one of them and we
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can take the other i don't know how or
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why she escalated this so fast but she
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tells me to give her both of them
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because she wants them i tell her again
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that i'll give her one of them and we
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will take the other she is not happy
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with this and starts demanding that i
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give her both again i tell her flat out
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no my brother isn't saying anything
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because he's not good with confrontation
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and just wanted to get apple juice i say
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ma'am do you want this one or not karen
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says just give me both how hard is that
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to understand i want them both so know
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then
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yes just give me them as she starts to
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progress into a scene my brother starts
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looking anxious but he chimes in and
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says look we're just trying to be nice
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karen says i don't care just give them
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to me you're wasting my time i
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eventually get tired of this and out of
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spite put both of them in our cart i
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turn around in motion for my brother to
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follow she starts yelling but we just
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head to the front it was seriously the
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stupidest thing ever so the op and the
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brother got there first could have
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easily just taken both of them without
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saying anything they offered to give one
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of them to this lady and the lady just
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straight up starts yelling at them so
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she wanted a 100 of the apple juice and
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she ended up getting 100
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of nothing i'm surprised actually that
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the karen didn't end up running after
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the op and the brother to try and do
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something further but it sounds like
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they're able to just walk away without
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having any issues beyond that let me
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know what you would rate the entitlement
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level in this one 1 out of 10 down below
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an entitled parent demands college
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refund money for disney world so all
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this first information is important to
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understand the rest of the story i work
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at a financial aid office for a local
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private university and i've only been
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here for a little over two months it's a
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stressful job because i'm forced to
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learn things about the financial aid
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process i never thought i would need to
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know such as how fafsa forms are
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processed the fafsa is a critical form
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that students fill out to see how much
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money you qualify for to pay for your
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college a lot of the time this means the
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students who have loans grant
00:09:03
scholarships may get a refund check
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these checks can vary depending on a
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variety of things like how much you
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qualify for and how much the school
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takes for tuition classes room board and
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other expenses sometimes students will
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get thousands of dollars in refund money
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for anyone who plans to get a refund be
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sure to never discuss how you're going
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to use it outside of class requirements
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because it's a policy to refuse to
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disperse funds if knowingly used for
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things outside of school use again this
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is all important to understand the story
00:09:30
so now on to the story so my job as a
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financial aid assistant is to be a basic
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office aide but with the knowledge of a
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financial aid counselor yesterday a
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young woman with her entitled dad come
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into the office before i could greet
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them the man says where is the person
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that's holding my kids money hostage i
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was terrified because this man was
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larger than me and angry i wanted to cry
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by the mere loudness of his voice i
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managed to say
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sir
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i can see if anyone's available to talk
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and he began barking at me about how
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this is a terrible university and how
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dare they keep his daughter's money like
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this it's a small office and with my
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supervisor who is the director of
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financial aid the dfa and the assistant
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director of the a.d and a student aid
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we're all females i turn to the open
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doorway and i see the assistant director
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looking unimpressed i can talk to you
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and your daughter about her money side
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note if you're looking for a refund call
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the billing department first not the
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financial aid office as we don't really
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control how it's dispersed the entitled
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dad and the girl went into the office
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but the door was kept open so i heard
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everything that was said if i wasn't
00:10:38
allowed to record things due to privacy
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reasons i would have recorded this
00:10:41
exchange the assistant director said so
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how can i help you what's going on
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entitled dad my daughter's refund was
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supposed to be released by the end of
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the week it's wednesday and it's not in
00:10:51
her account sir please calm down no she
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needs her money because we need it for
00:10:56
our trip daughter dad i'm not going on a
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trip entitled daddy yes you are remember
00:11:02
we're going to disney world assistant
00:11:04
director smirks knowingly so you're
00:11:06
using your refund to pay for a trip
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outside of school needs daughter no i'm
00:11:12
not dad yes she is she promised to pay
00:11:15
the deposit with that money and we need
00:11:17
it now assistant director sir i must
00:11:20
inform you that i cannot allow these
00:11:21
funds to be released as you have just
00:11:23
told me that your daughter will be using
00:11:25
them outside of school use this is not
00:11:28
allowed watch it's her money and she can
00:11:30
do whatever she wants without money
00:11:32
assistant director you can only use this
00:11:34
money for school related purchases this
00:11:36
is considered an improper use of funds
00:11:39
which is considered fraud the op
00:11:41
clarifies here you can use your refund
00:11:43
money however you want but you should
00:11:45
never tell the financial aid office your
00:11:46
vacation plans and be a total jerk about
00:11:48
it most people in financial aid don't
00:11:50
care how you spend your refund in
00:11:51
general so i was still at my desk trying
00:11:53
to look like i wasn't hearing this but
00:11:55
this man had a meltdown i swear i
00:11:58
learned more swear words from this guy
00:12:00
than in my entire 27 years of life the
00:12:02
girl was also upset but as she wouldn't
00:12:05
be getting her money i kept my head down
00:12:07
as they left the office i soon got up
00:12:09
and checked on my assistant director hey
00:12:11
are you okay she nodded but she clearly
00:12:13
needed a few minutes to herself i don't
00:12:15
blame her that guy was very intimidating
00:12:17
and i don't think it'll be the last we
00:12:19
hear of him anytime soon man it sounds
00:12:21
like they might have actually been able
00:12:22
to help them if they didn't just clearly
00:12:25
say that they were going to use all this
00:12:26
money on disneyland and it's also kind
00:12:29
of weird i mean they're going to take
00:12:30
the daughter's money to pay for the trip
00:12:33
for everyone else i kind of got the vibe
00:12:35
that they just made that decision for
00:12:38
her but either way regardless of who
00:12:40
made the decision the fact that the dad
00:12:42
is just straight up telling the office
00:12:44
that they need the money for disneyland
00:12:46
is such a bad idea even if it wasn't
00:12:48
against the policy why would you even
00:12:50
say that what does it matter what the
00:12:51
money is for in this case it seems like
00:12:53
it gave the financial aid assistant
00:12:55
director an easy out to not have to deal
00:12:57
with this situation at all they seem to
00:12:59
think that the dad is going to keep
00:13:00
coming back but there's a chance he
00:13:02
might be afraid of anything that has to
00:13:05
do with fraud because the assistant
00:13:06
director did say that this would be
00:13:08
considered fraud and that's a pretty big
00:13:10
deal in any case so let me know what you
00:13:12
would do if you're in this situation and
00:13:13
rate this one 1 out of 10 down below
00:13:16
entitled woman's kids steal our stuff
00:13:18
and refuse to give it back
00:13:20
so there was an ethiopian woman with
00:13:22
three kids and we lived in a collection
00:13:24
of units not apartments but sort of
00:13:26
separate houses but joined too this
00:13:29
woman's kids would always somehow get
00:13:31
into our house either one way or another
00:13:33
one day i even remember my mom leaving
00:13:35
the garage door open by sliver and those
00:13:39
kids wriggled their way through the
00:13:40
garage door then entered our house and
00:13:43
went straight to my bedroom then they
00:13:45
steal stuff like one day they stole my
00:13:47
dad's 20 aussie buck sunnies then they
00:13:50
stole a 30 buck watch i owned and a 50
00:13:54
dollar pair of my mom's best shoes and a
00:13:56
lot more they also raided our neighbor's
00:13:58
garden and stole multiple plants which
00:14:01
also cost money and they throw mud onto
00:14:04
their house but that's not the worst
00:14:05
part i mean they don't know any better
00:14:07
so we let the kids go but we confronted
00:14:09
the mother who is a single mom and her
00:14:10
reply was oh we'll give them back and us
00:14:14
being naive we accepted and went back to
00:14:16
our house a few weeks later we go ask
00:14:18
again but yet again they give the same
00:14:20
response to this day i dread what we did
00:14:23
but we brushed it off and it's not like
00:14:26
the aussie police would do anything
00:14:28
considering the value of the stuff they
00:14:29
stole and they were renters too i didn't
00:14:32
know what to do after this point and i
00:14:34
would have reported them to the landlord
00:14:36
and get them a warning but my second
00:14:37
thought said that would be too cruel and
00:14:39
just before we went to ask again sternly
00:14:42
this time they left with the stuff they
00:14:45
stole a message to the kid's mother if
00:14:47
you're reading this you should have
00:14:48
parented your kids you're lucky i didn't
00:14:51
report you whenever i hear about stories
00:14:53
like this the first thing i could think
00:14:54
is maybe that family was just really in
00:14:58
need and maybe they didn't need these
00:14:59
specific items but they were selling
00:15:01
them or doing something to get by the
00:15:03
hard part becomes when you have both
00:15:05
families in need i mean it sounds like
00:15:07
neither one of these families was
00:15:08
exactly a rich family and both of them
00:15:11
are just doing what they have to in
00:15:12
order to get by but obviously that
00:15:14
doesn't mean that it's okay to just let
00:15:16
people steal things from you it seems
00:15:18
like the opi's biggest regret was that
00:15:20
they were too naive and believe when
00:15:22
this other family told them that they
00:15:23
would give their stuff back i mean that
00:15:25
is weird i mean they shouldn't have the
00:15:27
stuff for any period of time i mean what
00:15:29
was the reason behind it they were going
00:15:31
to use it and then give it back to them
00:15:33
the kids broke into the house stole what
00:15:35
they stole they were going to use it and
00:15:37
then the op said okay sure just give it
00:15:39
to me later let me know what you would
00:15:41
do if this was your house and you had
00:15:43
these things taken and then the family
00:15:45
took off moving somewhere else don't
00:15:47
forget to subscribe to the youtube
00:15:48
channel with notifications turned on
00:15:50
follow on instagram and check out the
00:15:53
podcast if you're into that kind of
00:15:54
thing linked down below thanks a lot for
00:15:56
listening and we'll see you next time
00:15:58
am i the jerk for banning my mom from my
00:16:01
house after she stole my wedding dress
00:16:03
my mom has a tendency to be very
00:16:05
reactive she is also extremely
00:16:07
superstitious and sentimental i am not i
00:16:11
am currently planning a wedding and we
00:16:12
are both broke students so our budget
00:16:14
for the wedding is very low my
00:16:16
mother-in-law asked if i wanted her
00:16:19
wedding dress she got married in 2019
00:16:21
and it lasted nine months i'd refer to
00:16:24
the wedding as some type of internal
00:16:26
crisis where she believed she had to be
00:16:28
married by 40 and was trying to make
00:16:30
another man jealous she cried the
00:16:32
morning of the wedding and kissed her
00:16:34
boss on the lips right in front of the
00:16:37
groom she is now very bitterly divorced
00:16:40
but living happily with her boss my
00:16:43
mother-in-law offered me this dress and
00:16:45
it's a beautiful dress we are the same
00:16:47
size and it is from a bridal boutique i
00:16:50
can never afford i'm happy and not at
00:16:52
all worried about her failed marriage my
00:16:54
mom told me she thought it was a
00:16:55
horrible idea and that the dress would
00:16:57
bring bad energy i said i'm not into
00:17:00
that stuff and i'm going to wear it she
00:17:01
called me spoiled and materialistic and
00:17:05
cited that my mother-in-law doesn't even
00:17:07
like me my mother-in-law doesn't really
00:17:09
like anyone but her boss but i'd say she
00:17:11
likes me well enough and that my
00:17:13
mother-in-law disapproves of the wedding
00:17:15
she thinks we are too young but she
00:17:17
isn't that invested i told my mom that i
00:17:19
get where she's coming from but i'm
00:17:21
wearing the dress well my mom came over
00:17:23
recently and she stole the dress i
00:17:26
called her and confronted her and she
00:17:28
said that she is disappointed that i am
00:17:31
a shallow woman and want to wear a dress
00:17:34
from an adulterous with a failed
00:17:36
marriage i told her she had two hours to
00:17:39
return it or i was calling the cops she
00:17:41
did return it intact but i said she is
00:17:43
banned from my house forever my mom did
00:17:46
apologize and she cried she feels like
00:17:48
since the dress is okay i'm being too
00:17:51
harsh she decided that if i have kids it
00:17:53
wouldn't be fair to keep her banned
00:17:55
instead i should understand this is hard
00:17:57
for her and when your kids grow up there
00:17:59
are always growing pains so am i the
00:18:02
jerk from banning my mom from my house
00:18:04
after she stole my wedding dress the op
00:18:06
is an adult and it doesn't sound like
00:18:08
the mom is paying for the dress or
00:18:10
paying for this or paying for that but
00:18:12
yet she's used to kind of just running
00:18:13
wild and doing whatever she wants and in
00:18:15
this case she thought that she could
00:18:17
just steal the dress without any
00:18:19
reaction from her daughter i wonder if
00:18:21
she just thought she would steal the
00:18:22
dress and the daughter would be like
00:18:24
okay no big deal and then just be fine
00:18:27
with it it also seems like her pointing
00:18:29
out all these aspects about the
00:18:30
mother-in-law are really just a way to
00:18:32
weaponize these scenarios into getting
00:18:35
what she wants which is for her to
00:18:38
either not have the wedding for her
00:18:39
daughter or to have it exactly in the
00:18:41
way that she wants to have it with the
00:18:42
good energy and spirituality and all
00:18:44
that stuff i mean the mom could just buy
00:18:47
her a dress but it sounds like that's
00:18:49
not an option so what's the problem with
00:18:51
wearing a second hand dress if you the
00:18:54
op doesn't mind the whole history of
00:18:57
that dress even though it's not stated
00:18:59
anywhere here i kind of get the sense
00:19:01
that the op's mom maybe doesn't want her
00:19:04
to get married to this guy for some
00:19:06
reason that we don't know beyond the
00:19:08
context of this because she even points
00:19:10
out that the mother-in-law disapproves
00:19:12
of the wedding because she thinks we're
00:19:13
too young and that she isn't that
00:19:15
invested as the op wrote it in the post
00:19:18
so maybe the mom does feel the same way
00:19:20
and she's kind of just trying to mirror
00:19:21
project that on to the mother-in-law so
00:19:23
that she doesn't have to be the one that
00:19:24
says that but let me know what you would
00:19:27
do in this situation and do you think
00:19:28
the opie is a jerk or not for banning
00:19:32
her mother for stealing the dress am i
00:19:35
the jerk for walking out on my date i
00:19:37
went on a date with a guy last week he's
00:19:39
someone i've been talking to for about
00:19:41
six months online we met in a star wars
00:19:44
fan group on discord the only meat that
00:19:46
i eat is fish so i checked out the
00:19:48
restaurant beforehand and saw a salmon
00:19:50
dish i would like i have told this guy
00:19:52
this and i have no problem paying for
00:19:53
myself i was excited to meet him and
00:19:55
talk about star wars and the new boba
00:19:58
fett series he seemed off when i met him
00:20:00
there and was kind of rude he ordered my
00:20:03
meal for me the black bean in lentil
00:20:06
burger don't get me wrong i love a good
00:20:08
impossible burger but lentils make me
00:20:11
i told him i wanted the salmon and he
00:20:14
said i could get a salmon next date i
00:20:16
can have the burgers now at this red
00:20:19
flag i was like nope i went to the
00:20:22
restroom told my server i was leaving
00:20:24
and gave her a 10 cash tip she said she
00:20:27
cancelled the meal and let me out the
00:20:29
back door about 20 minutes later i got
00:20:31
an angry text from him calling me a
00:20:34
floozy and a coward it got around my
00:20:37
star wars group what i did and most
00:20:39
people feel like i should have handled
00:20:40
it differently i was feeling very
00:20:42
uncomfortable i'm probably going to
00:20:44
leave this group for this reason most of
00:20:46
them agreed with the man that i went on
00:20:47
the date with some agreed with me but
00:20:50
now i can't even enjoy my group without
00:20:52
feeling blamed so am i the jerk for
00:20:55
walking out on my date this is kind of
00:20:57
one of those don't eat where you work or
00:21:00
whatever the expression is but in this
00:21:01
case it's don't eat where you have a
00:21:03
group that you really care about because
00:21:06
this is what might end up happening if
00:21:08
she was really worried about a lot of
00:21:09
the backlash maybe it could have been
00:21:11
lessened if she just let him know
00:21:12
straight up instead of what sounds like
00:21:14
kind of snuck away because i think the
00:21:17
sneaking off probably had a lot more of
00:21:19
a reaction in his retelling of the story
00:21:22
than it would have if she just would
00:21:23
have said hey i'm not feeling this i
00:21:25
just want to go but with that said this
00:21:27
guy does not sound like a good guy that
00:21:28
is really weird she already told him in
00:21:31
advance that she wanted the salmon and
00:21:33
that she didn't mind paying for herself
00:21:35
but he force ordered her into burgers
00:21:38
and lentils i mean that is weird
00:21:40
regardless if this was a date or not
00:21:42
it's weird to try and force somebody to
00:21:43
eat what they don't want to eat so i
00:21:45
totally get her wanting to leave this
00:21:47
date all together this guy just sounds
00:21:49
extremely controlling and if this is the
00:21:51
very first date you can only imagine
00:21:53
where this is going to go from here but
00:21:54
let me know what you would do if you're
00:21:55
in this situation and jerk or not a jerk
00:21:58
and why am i the jerk for backing out of
00:22:01
my dad's wedding because of a joke that
00:22:03
he made growing up it was pretty clear
00:22:06
that my parents weren't happy they have
00:22:08
nothing in common and my dad always
00:22:10
seemed miserable when he was home he
00:22:12
lived and breathed his job he was a
00:22:14
neurosurgeon he was an okay dad a pretty
00:22:17
bad husband and when i was a senior in
00:22:19
high school he left my mom for his
00:22:21
affair partner abby who was also a
00:22:24
surgeon at the hospital my mom was
00:22:26
humiliated and it took her a long time
00:22:28
to heal emotionally my brother and i
00:22:30
didn't talk to my dad for about a year
00:22:32
and slowly have resumed contact he
00:22:34
proposed to abby nine months ago and
00:22:36
while i saw it coming it still felt like
00:22:38
a blow and i was upfront about how i
00:22:41
didn't know if i wanted to go to the
00:22:43
wedding or not he's been with abby for
00:22:44
almost three years and he acts like a
00:22:46
totally different person he's like a
00:22:48
giddy teen which is really weird to
00:22:50
watch objectively i get that she is much
00:22:53
better for him than my mom he had
00:22:54
nothing in common with my mom and he
00:22:56
needed someone who was more driven and
00:22:58
passionate as he put it also my mom
00:23:01
hated all of his hobbies camping hiking
00:23:03
going to the beach because she didn't
00:23:05
want to get dirty and they just weren't
00:23:06
compatible abby is a bit more of a
00:23:09
tomboy and they do everything together
00:23:11
he's really happy and i guess i'm happy
00:23:13
for him i recently visited them and
00:23:15
agreed to go to the wedding my dad and i
00:23:17
had a private talk and i said i will
00:23:19
never fully forgive him for cheating but
00:23:22
i can see that he is really happy now he
00:23:24
said he wishes the best for my mom he
00:23:26
didn't understand how important
00:23:28
compatibility was when he was younger
00:23:30
and then he laughed and said if they
00:23:31
didn't want him to cheat he wouldn't
00:23:34
have a bed at work this pissed me off
00:23:37
because from other jokes i've heard from
00:23:39
a mutual friend not him the two of them
00:23:42
were fooling around at work hopefully
00:23:45
not in the hospital but it just reminded
00:23:47
me of my mom being the last one to know
00:23:49
and how he always couldn't wait to go to
00:23:52
work i snapped at him that he is such a
00:23:54
jerk and how he can never resist the
00:23:56
urge to make dumb jokes he teased way
00:23:59
too much when i was a teen and it
00:24:00
affected our relationship and i said i
00:24:03
wasn't going to the wedding i stormed
00:24:05
off and he just texted me sorry and
00:24:07
nothing else abby sent me a long message
00:24:10
about how it was a pretty tame joke and
00:24:12
just his personality and i'm being too
00:24:14
sensitive she asked me to reconsider the
00:24:16
wedding is at the end of january so i
00:24:18
don't have much time to decide so am i
00:24:20
the jerk for backing out of my dad's
00:24:22
wedding because of this joke how can
00:24:24
abby not realize that the worst possible
00:24:27
thing to do in this situation is to try
00:24:30
and belittle the concerns of the sun
00:24:32
here by saying oh it's just a tame joke
00:24:35
i mean maybe she's got that 200 iq big
00:24:38
brain status and she's playing 3d chess
00:24:41
where she knows many steps ahead that by
00:24:42
saying this it'll piss off the op even
00:24:45
more so he won't go to the wedding and
00:24:47
maybe that's what she ultimately wants
00:24:48
because if she was really trying to help
00:24:50
the situation why would she text him at
00:24:52
all that's a matter between the father
00:24:54
and the op and if she absolutely had to
00:24:56
text him trying to reclassify how he
00:24:59
interpreted the joke as just a pretty
00:25:01
tame joke when this is obviously
00:25:02
something that's very emotional to the
00:25:04
op is not the play here if your goal is
00:25:07
for him to actually go to the wedding it
00:25:09
sounds like the father just straight up
00:25:10
doesn't understand even after all this
00:25:12
time that his wife his former wife the
00:25:14
op's mom was humiliated and devastated
00:25:18
in a way that he just doesn't seem to
00:25:19
understand i mean the op is getting his
00:25:22
one last piece out before he
00:25:24
symbolically approves of this marriage i
00:25:26
guess you could say he has to get out of
00:25:28
his system and somehow the dad doesn't
00:25:31
know that it's a sore subject even after
00:25:32
all this time so much so to the point
00:25:34
that he would say this thing about
00:25:36
having a bed at the hospital so bottom
00:25:38
line it just sounds like the dad's
00:25:40
living in his own reality and he's not
00:25:41
really super concerned who he hurts in
00:25:43
the process whether it's his ex-wife or
00:25:45
his kids but maybe you have a totally
00:25:47
different take on this let me know what
00:25:49
you think and what would you do if you
00:25:51
were in this situation jerk or not a
00:25:52
jerk and why am i the jerk for not
00:25:55
giving my younger siblings anything out
00:25:57
of my inheritance my dad suddenly passed
00:25:59
away i was close to him and his only
00:26:01
child after my parents divorced my mom
00:26:04
got married to a man who was a total
00:26:06
jerk he always bullied me for playing
00:26:09
video games and because i'm fat i'm not
00:26:11
going to sugarcoat it i moved in with my
00:26:13
dad at 10 years old i'm now in college
00:26:15
and the money in house will come to me
00:26:17
soon my mom wants me to split it with my
00:26:20
two soon to be three younger siblings he
00:26:22
wasn't their father and their dad made
00:26:25
my life a living hell i was at my lowest
00:26:28
point when living with him i'm no longer
00:26:30
close to any of them my grandma keeps
00:26:32
saying a little something won't hurt me
00:26:33
financially but i don't want any of them
00:26:36
thinking they can ask me for money in
00:26:37
the future so i'm saying no so am i the
00:26:40
jerk for not giving my younger siblings
00:26:42
anything out of my inheritance i thought
00:26:45
going into this it was maybe that they
00:26:47
all had the same dad and that only he
00:26:49
got the inheritance for some reason
00:26:51
because i feel like that would be an
00:26:52
even more sticky situation but in this
00:26:54
case even that not being the scenario
00:26:56
it's probably going to cause some
00:26:58
resentment in the future or some
00:27:01
general tension about what he has and
00:27:03
what they don't have if the younger
00:27:05
siblings actually want this from what
00:27:07
he's saying here it sounds like his
00:27:08
grandma and his mom are the ones that
00:27:09
want him to spread the money amongst the
00:27:12
siblings but the siblings themselves we
00:27:14
don't actually even know how old they
00:27:15
are and we also don't know if they even
00:27:17
want this at this point the difference
00:27:19
here is that the op no longer has that
00:27:22
parent to help him with anything in life
00:27:24
anymore whereas the younger siblings
00:27:27
have both parents to help them in life
00:27:29
so it isn't really fair to take away the
00:27:32
last and final gift from his father to
00:27:34
give it to siblings that do have another
00:27:37
parent their own father he talks about
00:27:39
hating the stepfather but really i think
00:27:41
it just comes down to keeping the money
00:27:43
and dealing with any resentment if that
00:27:45
comes up or spreading it out and knowing
00:27:47
that he will never have another final
00:27:49
gift from his own father one really
00:27:51
important note that somebody responded
00:27:53
by saying is that if i can offer advice
00:27:55
put the money in a trust this helps you
00:27:58
avoid paying a large amount of tax right
00:27:59
out the gate rely on the executor of
00:28:02
estates poa that your father named to
00:28:05
set that up for you not only is this a
00:28:07
great idea for you financially it also
00:28:08
legit allows you to say that it's out of
00:28:11
my hands honor your father's wishes i'm
00:28:13
very sorry for your loss so for those of
00:28:15
you that know about estates and
00:28:16
inheritance you can chime in in the
00:28:18
comments but for everyone else let me
00:28:20
know what you would do in this situation
00:28:22
and jerk or not a jerk and why am i the
00:28:25
jerk for not wanting to apologize to the
00:28:27
guy who kissed my husband i was away
00:28:30
visiting a friend and my husband and his
00:28:32
good friend were drinking and his friend
00:28:34
grabbed his head and kissed him on the
00:28:36
lips my husband told me a few days later
00:28:38
while he was sloshed i wasn't too mad at
00:28:41
all but after a few days my husband
00:28:42
tells me he is going to his friend's
00:28:44
house around 8 30 p.m he said don't
00:28:47
worry i'm only gonna be gone an hour i
00:28:49
promise whenever he gets together with
00:28:51
his friend he never comes home when he
00:28:53
says he will and they get way too
00:28:56
sloshed but it never bothered me up to
00:28:58
this point and he never promised
00:29:00
technically what time he would come home
00:29:02
i called it 12 30 a.m and he was clearly
00:29:05
sloshed and had no plans to get home our
00:29:08
water pipes were frozen and there was
00:29:10
poo in the toilet that we couldn't flush
00:29:13
and he said he was only going to be an
00:29:15
hour so he could fix it until then we
00:29:17
were told to go to the bathroom outside
00:29:19
while there was a foot of snow outside
00:29:22
when i called i was really mad and i
00:29:25
yelled what are you doing making whoopi
00:29:28
with him
00:29:29
well his friend heard me say that and is
00:29:32
now really mad my husband came home an
00:29:36
hour later we live a few blocks away and
00:29:39
he was really mad at me and he could not
00:29:42
believe i would say something like that
00:29:44
to him on the phone and now he is
00:29:46
demanding that i apologize to his friend
00:29:50
i don't want to would that make me the
00:29:52
jerk for not apologizing my husband now
00:29:54
says the kiss didn't mean anything and
00:29:57
he is worried his friend will never
00:29:59
trust him again and his friend has a
00:30:02
girlfriend so am i the jerk for not
00:30:05
wanting to apologize to the guy who
00:30:08
kissed my husband the opie says he never
00:30:11
technically promises when he'll be home
00:30:13
but he does say that he'll be back for
00:30:16
an hour so she probably has to plan
00:30:18
everything around that so he's leaving
00:30:19
at 8 30 and says he'll be back in an
00:30:21
hour 9 30 is probably when she would
00:30:23
expect him to be home when obviously it
00:30:25
was past midnight when she called him
00:30:27
not even when he got home and she wasn't
00:30:29
able to poop that entire time it sounds
00:30:31
like so i think having to go to the
00:30:33
bathroom that bad probably compounds
00:30:35
with the fact that she's frustrated and
00:30:37
it doesn't really sound like she thinks
00:30:38
the kiss is that big of a deal she kind
00:30:40
of just said it as a jab in the moment
00:30:42
because she wanted to get home so she
00:30:43
didn't have to go out to the snow to
00:30:44
poop but let me know what you do from
00:30:46
this situation and issue the jerk or not
00:30:49
here am i the jerk for forcing my son to
00:30:52
wait to marry his then high school
00:30:54
girlfriend i'm a 50 year old mom and i
00:30:57
have two sons dan who's 22 years old and
00:31:00
sam who's 27 years old dan started
00:31:02
dating fran in their junior year so dan
00:31:05
and friend towards the end of their
00:31:07
senior year dan came to me and said that
00:31:09
he wanted to marry fran at the time dan
00:31:12
had multiple college options which she
00:31:14
was going to decline to stay in our town
00:31:17
and marry fran i obviously did not
00:31:20
support this i wanted my son to go to
00:31:23
college and knew he wanted that too he
00:31:26
had always been ambitious i told my son
00:31:28
that he had his whole life ahead of him
00:31:30
and that he could get married later but
00:31:31
didn't need to rush it i told him that
00:31:33
if he went to college and waited even
00:31:35
just a year or two i would pay for his
00:31:37
tuition at the time i didn't know how
00:31:40
serious the relationship was as they'd
00:31:42
been together for a little over a year
00:31:43
and was scared it wouldn't work out and
00:31:45
he'd waste his opportunity my son
00:31:47
happily accepted this offer and agreed
00:31:49
with me that it would be best to wait
00:31:52
this year my son graduated college but
00:31:54
maintained a long distance relationship
00:31:56
with fran and they announced their
00:31:58
engagement a couple of months ago we
00:32:00
were all ecstatic about it sometime
00:32:02
between then and now my son told fran
00:32:04
that i was the reason he waited until
00:32:07
now to propose i wasn't aware until
00:32:09
christmas when during dinner fran said
00:32:12
that she wanted to say something she
00:32:14
began saying i paid my son not to marry
00:32:18
her and actively tried to ruin their
00:32:22
relationship she then said she was
00:32:24
blessed that evil hadn't won and
00:32:27
couldn't wait to have a long and happy
00:32:30
marriage everyone was silent and didn't
00:32:33
really know what to say my son
00:32:34
approached me later to apologize and
00:32:36
said she had twisted his words but it's
00:32:39
been constantly weighing on my mind as
00:32:41
friends and family presents all have
00:32:43
different opinions the op also clarifies
00:32:46
by saying if my son had married fran out
00:32:48
of high school he wouldn't have gone to
00:32:50
college my son chose to go to a school
00:32:52
so far away there were closer options
00:32:54
but he liked the school he chose i will
00:32:57
be showing him this thread and update if
00:33:00
he responds and also fran currently
00:33:02
works at her mother's bakery she wants
00:33:04
to be a stay-at-home mother once they
00:33:06
get married and was waiting for dan to
00:33:08
come back home so am i the jerk for
00:33:12
forcing my son to wait to marry his then
00:33:16
high school girlfriend really there's no
00:33:18
way the mom could have known the
00:33:19
relationship was going to work out one
00:33:20
way or another and if you're going just
00:33:22
based on the stats it would seem like
00:33:24
it's more likely that the relationship
00:33:26
wouldn't work out so she's probably just
00:33:28
doing this originally in the best
00:33:30
interest of her son because if they got
00:33:32
together and it was more likely for them
00:33:34
to break up anyway at that point in
00:33:36
their lives then at least he would have
00:33:37
gotten his college out of it at the
00:33:39
college he actually wanted and not
00:33:41
regretted that for the rest of his life
00:33:42
because she figured if they really
00:33:44
wanted to be together they still would
00:33:46
be and
00:33:47
look what happened they ultimately ended
00:33:48
up being together but i can definitely
00:33:50
see how fran would hold this type of
00:33:52
resentment knowing that her goal was to
00:33:54
become a stay-at-home mom and really she
00:33:57
probably just saw this whole college
00:33:58
thing as a long waiting period but i'm
00:34:00
not really sure what would have kept her
00:34:02
from just moving out to where he was if
00:34:04
that's what she wanted to do all along
00:34:06
it is pretty shocking that she stood up
00:34:08
in front of the whole family and just
00:34:10
awkwardly tried to roast the op the mom
00:34:13
here by saying that evil had not won
00:34:15
that's the most dramatic part of this
00:34:17
whole thing i mean she could have felt
00:34:19
some type of way about this but the fact
00:34:21
that she put her on blast by saying that
00:34:23
she was the evil and she did not win
00:34:25
because now they're getting engaged is
00:34:26
kind of wild some of the top responses
00:34:28
said your future daughter-in-law showed
00:34:30
to the entire family that you were
00:34:32
correct and that your son was wise to
00:34:33
delay marriage by evil defran means
00:34:36
stopping her from getting pregnant at 18
00:34:38
and raising a baby she's obviously not
00:34:40
ready for opie was correct fran was
00:34:42
definitely not ready to get married at
00:34:44
18 and probably still isn't now opie's
00:34:47
son should rethink marrying her now or
00:34:50
ever friends treating her partner's mom
00:34:52
like an obstacle to their love story
00:34:54
even though she's just looking out for
00:34:55
them calling her mother-in-law evil
00:34:57
might be the precursor to a very
00:34:59
strained and potentially toxic
00:35:01
mother-in-law daughter-in-law
00:35:03
relationship so let me know what you
00:35:04
would do if you're in this situation and
00:35:06
jerk or not a jerk and why am i the jerk
00:35:09
for not wanting to participate in a
00:35:11
risque photo shoot and being an
00:35:13
unprofessional model i'm an 18 year old
00:35:16
female model with an agency me and
00:35:18
another girl who's 20 years old were
00:35:20
assigned a job for a lingerie ad which i
00:35:22
was initially fine with on the set i was
00:35:24
informed that it was an lgbtq themed
00:35:27
photo shoot meant to celebrate the queer
00:35:29
community i was told by stylists and
00:35:32
other photographers to do lots of risque
00:35:34
things with the other model they wanted
00:35:35
me to crawl across the floor toward her
00:35:38
and lick her from navel to the chest
00:35:41
they also said i had to make out with
00:35:43
her with tongue involved i was not
00:35:45
comfortable with doing this to another
00:35:46
girl since i'm straight especially the
00:35:49
kissing grossed me out i did not want to
00:35:51
do that and the photographer was furious
00:35:54
that i ruined the photo shoot he raged
00:35:56
at me saying i'm queerphobic that i hate
00:35:58
lesbians i'm an embarrassment to my
00:36:00
agency and i don't have the grid to
00:36:02
succeed in the modeling agency he said i
00:36:04
should work at mcdonald's even though
00:36:06
i'm already in college am i the jerk for
00:36:08
being an unprofessional model the fact
00:36:10
that none of those requirements were
00:36:11
communicated before going to the photo
00:36:14
shoot makes it seem like this is some
00:36:16
sort of trap where they were trying to
00:36:17
get somebody to do this just by peer
00:36:19
pressuring them into it to make sure it
00:36:21
was going to happen regardless if that
00:36:23
person wanted to or not i mean even if
00:36:26
they had sent all this stuff in advance
00:36:27
you still have the right to walk away
00:36:29
from something that makes you feel
00:36:30
uncomfortable no matter what the
00:36:31
situation is who cares a photographer is
00:36:34
furious as somebody pointed out in
00:36:35
response to this their advice was call
00:36:38
your agency tell them what happened let
00:36:40
them know what he did this is not okay
00:36:43
it really does sound like they were
00:36:44
trying to con her into something that
00:36:46
was way more frisky than she was
00:36:48
comfortable with otherwise she probably
00:36:50
wouldn't have come to this thing in the
00:36:51
first place if she had known what she
00:36:52
was walking into i think the tactic of
00:36:54
calling her anti this or anti that was
00:36:57
meant to be something that would make
00:36:59
her overcome her own uncomfortableness
00:37:01
with this whole situation and give into
00:37:03
it but that shouldn't work on you no
00:37:04
matter what the situation is if you
00:37:05
don't feel uncomfortable but let me know
00:37:07
what you would do if you're in this situation and is the op a jerk or not in
00:37:10
your mind for not wanting to participate
00:37:13
in this photo shoot am i the jerk for
00:37:15
sharing my daughter's university fund
00:37:18
with my stepson my husband and i are a
00:37:20
couple in our 40s we've been married for
00:37:21
10 years now we both have 17 year old
00:37:24
children he a son with his ex-wife and
00:37:27
me a daughter from my husband who passed
00:37:29
away when we married we chose to keep a
00:37:31
portion of our finances separate due to
00:37:34
both having children already previous
00:37:36
real estate investments and he having
00:37:38
expenses like alimony and child support
00:37:40
payments we do combine our incomes for
00:37:42
our mortgage and household expenses our
00:37:44
retirement major purchases etc the
00:37:46
college funds we have set up for our
00:37:48
children have always been part of our
00:37:49
separate finances and as a result
00:37:52
neither one of us have had terribly
00:37:54
in-depth discussions with the other
00:37:56
regarding the amount put into each
00:37:57
child's fund i never expected both
00:37:59
children's funds to be penny for a penny
00:38:02
equal but i did expect them to be closer
00:38:04
than what i recently discovered both
00:38:06
children have now applied to and both
00:38:08
been accepted to university as it's
00:38:09
their senior year now that a majority of
00:38:11
scholarships are in tuition and housing
00:38:13
etc are more concrete for each of their
00:38:15
school options we've started the
00:38:17
specifics of the budget conversations my
00:38:20
daughter's college graduation fund is
00:38:22
worth roughly 150 000 while my stepson
00:38:25
has approximately a 15 000 amount so
00:38:29
that's a difference of 10x the daughter
00:38:32
with 150 000 versus 15 000. here's where
00:38:37
the argument happened with her
00:38:38
scholarships my daughter will have more
00:38:40
than enough for undergraduate school and
00:38:42
likely her graduate work as well
00:38:44
assuming she maintains her traditionally
00:38:46
good grades in fact she'll likely have a
00:38:48
good bit left over fine i say she can
00:38:50
use it for a down payment on a home or
00:38:52
whatever after scholarships and the
00:38:54
fifteen thousand dollars from his dad my
00:38:56
stepson will still owe for undergraduate
00:38:59
my husband feels like we should just
00:39:00
combine the funds when we married we
00:39:04
very specifically kept certain things
00:39:05
separate and this was one of them so i
00:39:08
can't help but feel unwilling to just
00:39:10
scrap that and mix things together now
00:39:13
it doesn't feel fair or right but my
00:39:15
husband thinks i'm a jerk to not give
00:39:17
the kids the same thing it's never been
00:39:19
a problem my stepson has had extras due
00:39:22
to having another parent and household
00:39:24
also contributing to his clothing his
00:39:26
car his spending money etc but now
00:39:28
suddenly we have to be even and just to
00:39:30
be clear being even actually means
00:39:32
giving my stepson even more of the money
00:39:35
due to the fact that my daughter's
00:39:36
scholarships are more comprehensive the
00:39:39
kids are close and i'm sure my stepson
00:39:41
will realize there's a difference in
00:39:43
university money but if my husband
00:39:44
wanted to change things like this i feel
00:39:46
this should have been brought up sooner
00:39:48
than this so am i the jerk this is a
00:39:53
hard situation because the daughter from
00:39:55
what it sounds like actually earned the
00:39:57
scholarship so in a way she's kind of
00:40:00
almost being punished for doing so and
00:40:03
yet she's the one that only has one
00:40:05
parent the other kid the stepson has two
00:40:09
parents so the first question that comes
00:40:11
to my mind is what is the contribution
00:40:14
of the stepson's mother who is currently
00:40:17
alive and presumably working because
00:40:20
cutting that hundred and fifty thousand
00:40:21
dollars in half is giving 75 000
00:40:26
that the op has been squirreling away
00:40:28
for all these years to the stepson i
00:40:31
mean maybe more or less depending on
00:40:33
what percentage of that is scholarships
00:40:35
from the daughter directly but roughly
00:40:37
75 000 let's call it that's a lot of
00:40:40
money to just on a whim throw out there
00:40:42
like that especially when they already
00:40:44
had an agreement in place before they
00:40:45
got married that these specific finances
00:40:47
would be separated i mean it's not like
00:40:49
they didn't talk about this at all they
00:40:50
kind of already had a plan about this
00:40:52
but the husband wants to scrap this at
00:40:54
this point when he realizes that the
00:40:56
daughter has 10x the amount that the son
00:40:58
has so like i said this is a sticky
00:41:00
situation and people seem to be somewhat
00:41:03
split on this someone said aside from
00:41:05
the fact that he only wants to combine
00:41:07
now because you have more money than him
00:41:08
why can't slash isn't his son's other
00:41:10
parent contributing that's what i was
00:41:12
thinking as soon as i read this as well
00:41:13
it sucks for the sons but this is
00:41:15
literally what his dad wanted and you
00:41:17
obliged and from someone else i just
00:41:19
want to say please do not do anything to
00:41:21
split the money now a your daughter
00:41:23
earned her scholarships the fact that
00:41:25
there will be excess money is due to her
00:41:26
hard work and b it sounds like she did
00:41:29
without a lot from not having a second
00:41:32
parent to not getting as much money and
00:41:35
luxuries as a young teen don't penalize
00:41:37
her for that now by taking what your
00:41:40
sacrifice is accumulated to and c do not
00:41:43
teach her that she has to sacrifice
00:41:44
herself and her security to maintain a
00:41:47
relationship with a man her brother and
00:41:49
father figure or that her security and
00:41:51
comfort shouldn't be her number one
00:41:53
priority indeed college is a tough
00:41:56
transition for a lot of kids she could
00:41:57
lose those scholarships if she falters
00:41:59
her first semester or if she figures out
00:42:01
this isn't the right school for her
00:42:02
taking her funds now puts additional
00:42:04
pressure on her to never have a misstep
00:42:06
or change in heart major school because
00:42:09
her financial security is at stake this
00:42:11
is a hill to die on i usually don't
00:42:13
recommend to stop communicating in a
00:42:15
marriage but this subject matter is
00:42:17
closed so with all that said where do
00:42:20
you stand on this and jerk or not a jerk
00:42:23
and why playing as a woman i think i got
00:42:26
the tiniest taste of real world sexism
00:42:29
i've been playing dungeons and dragons
00:42:31
on and off for 15 years now in multiple
00:42:34
campaigns that got to level 20. but
00:42:36
three years ago i did something new i
00:42:38
played a female character where a five
00:42:41
person party three men and two women in
00:42:43
real life in character it's three women
00:42:46
and two men because of me as the years
00:42:48
have gone by i've started to notice
00:42:50
little things here and there in how the
00:42:52
npcs treat me i'm trying to play this
00:42:54
character as kind of the take charge
00:42:57
type person but the npcs tend to brush
00:43:00
me off when i feel like they shouldn't
00:43:02
i'm a powerful sorcerer with a kind of
00:43:04
dark reputation so i would expect that
00:43:07
they would show me some respect but
00:43:09
often they just don't and it feels like
00:43:12
certain other playable characters get
00:43:13
just a little more recognition a little
00:43:16
more respect for reasons i can't quite
00:43:18
put my finger on i've brought it up to
00:43:20
the dungeon master a couple of times and
00:43:22
he's always had a reason like well this
00:43:25
npc talked to you like that because of x
00:43:27
reason or when the barbarian in that
00:43:30
group did x they really earned the
00:43:32
king's respect because of y reason it's
00:43:35
like each individual instance had a
00:43:38
reason that could be valid and no one
00:43:40
instance is a big deal but it's just
00:43:43
that it kept happening i've played with
00:43:45
this dungeon master before and never
00:43:46
felt like this before so it was kind of
00:43:48
baffling to me then some more time went
00:43:51
by and i started noticing that the
00:43:53
the non-playable characters would talk
00:43:55
to the other female characters like that
00:43:57
too and it was always the male
00:43:59
characters who seemed to get the respect
00:44:01
and at first i was like nah that's crazy
00:44:04
the dm is an old friend of mine and i
00:44:06
know he's not sexist or anything but
00:44:08
once i noticed it i kept noticing it and
00:44:11
i didn't say anything because come on
00:44:13
how whiny would it be for a straight
00:44:15
white dude to complain about low-grade
00:44:18
fantasy sexism honestly sometimes i'd
00:44:21
notice a little thing and be sure it was
00:44:23
sexism but then next time i'd be sure i
00:44:26
was imagining it like a non-playable
00:44:28
character might talk to one of the male
00:44:30
characters before us or he might give
00:44:32
them more respect than us i mentioned to
00:44:35
one of the other guys who i've been
00:44:36
friends with since high school that i
00:44:38
felt my character was getting
00:44:39
shortchanged sometimes not mentioning
00:44:41
sexism as the cause and he kind of
00:44:42
shrugged it off so i let it drop this
00:44:45
sunday as everyone was leaving i found
00:44:47
myself alone in the parking lot with one
00:44:49
of the real-life women of the group yet
00:44:51
another non-playable character had low
00:44:54
level disrespected our characters in
00:44:56
favor of one of the guys in this game
00:44:57
and it was on my mind i said something
00:44:59
like is it just me or does person a and
00:45:02
person b the guys though i didn't say
00:45:04
that get a little bit more respect than
00:45:06
we do she just shrugged and said it's a
00:45:08
man's world we talked a little more
00:45:11
because i wasn't sure if she was serious
00:45:13
at first but she was and she didn't seem
00:45:15
particularly upset or bent out of shape
00:45:17
about it as far as she was concerned
00:45:19
this is just how it goes first i felt
00:45:21
immediately relieved i'm not crazy it
00:45:24
wasn't all in my head like i said
00:45:26
earlier i didn't bring up sexism to her
00:45:28
she brought it up first and it felt
00:45:29
great to have my perceptions validated
00:45:31
but i've really been dwelling on it
00:45:33
since like she was so matter-of-fact
00:45:34
about it it bothers me that it must
00:45:36
happen all the time to women and i just
00:45:38
don't notice it i mean obviously this is
00:45:40
a really small sample size the dungeon
00:45:43
master whose npcs act that way and the
00:45:45
other guy players who don't notice it
00:45:47
and obviously i don't really understand
00:45:49
what a woman goes through i don't
00:45:50
pretend like my little thing here is on
00:45:53
the same level of what real women
00:45:54
experience every day it's really her
00:45:57
reaction that stuck with me the sword of
00:45:59
welcome to the club vibe that i got
00:46:01
honestly if this is the norm for women i
00:46:03
don't know how they deal with it i find
00:46:05
it low-grade infuriating and i only have
00:46:08
to deal with it every now and then when
00:46:10
i'm in a fantasy world am i the jerk for
00:46:12
bringing this up it's interesting that a
00:46:14
role-playing game of all things can make
00:46:17
you see into the life of someone else
00:46:18
that you would normally never get to see
00:46:20
this side of the experience and i mean
00:46:23
it makes sense because you're
00:46:24
role-playing as that character but i
00:46:26
think what's probably more surprising to
00:46:28
the op is the fact that now that he sees
00:46:31
this happening all around him just
00:46:33
because it's very subtle others don't
00:46:35
seem to notice it and the ones that do
00:46:37
in this case the other woman of the
00:46:39
situation in their party she's just so
00:46:41
used to it that it's not even something
00:46:43
worth really talking about or getting
00:46:45
worked up about but yet the dungeon
00:46:47
master here it sounds like he has no
00:46:49
idea what this guy is talking about i
00:46:51
think a lot of times people don't
00:46:52
consider what it feels like to be in
00:46:54
someone else's shoes because you've been
00:46:55
living in your shoes your entire life
00:46:57
and this could be applied to any person
00:46:59
in any situation ever but when it comes
00:47:01
to this specific situation with women
00:47:03
there was actually a top response that
00:47:06
says i've gotten a taste of that from
00:47:07
work i'm a male but my name could be
00:47:10
easily mistaken for a woman's name
00:47:12
there's a definite difference in emails
00:47:15
that i get from people who assume that
00:47:16
i'm a woman versus those that know who i
00:47:19
am or outside of the case of women an
00:47:21
interesting example that was brought up
00:47:23
a bit later on was about sounding
00:47:25
non-american while you're in america
00:47:27
someone said that they watch a
00:47:29
documentary about the discrimination of
00:47:31
italian americans back in the day and in
00:47:33
order to get a decent job at all a lot
00:47:35
of italian americans would americanize
00:47:38
their last name so prospective employers
00:47:40
wouldn't reject them out of hand this
00:47:42
whole situation is kind of a glimpse
00:47:44
into the lives of others but let me know
00:47:46
if you've ever had a situation like this
00:47:47
in your own life and what would you do
00:47:50
if you were in this situation this is
00:47:52
how my ex-boyfriend outed himself as an
00:47:54
abuser through dungeons and dragons i
00:47:57
was raised by a very strange crazy lady
00:48:01
i was told fantasy sci-fi comic books
00:48:04
basically anything not barbies or easy
00:48:06
bake was not for girls among a lot of
00:48:09
worst stuff that may have something to
00:48:10
do with why i was 18 years old dating a
00:48:13
26 year old man so the second she was
00:48:16
out of my life i dove head first into
00:48:18
all of it and maybe got a little bit
00:48:20
obsessive at some point my boyfriend at
00:48:22
the time ended up telling me that a
00:48:24
friend of his wanted to be a dungeon
00:48:26
master for a short beginner campaign for
00:48:28
new players obviously i was all in but i
00:48:31
had no idea how to proceed the players
00:48:33
were me 17 or 18 years old my
00:48:36
ex-boyfriend who was 26 ish years old
00:48:39
and then dungeon master somewhere in his
00:48:41
30s plus one other player who i did not
00:48:43
know or remember very much of but i do
00:48:46
remember he played a home brewish monk
00:48:48
the dungeon master worked very closely
00:48:50
with me on my character an elf cleric a
00:48:53
homebrew religion her name was asha and
00:48:56
she was very shy quiet nun-like with
00:48:59
immense amount of devotion to her home
00:49:02
brew goddess he had helped me make a low
00:49:05
maintenance rp character who also had
00:49:07
very strong ties to the lore the world
00:49:10
in the planned plot it was great for my
00:49:12
personality and honestly a very nice way
00:49:14
to slowly wade into the waters of
00:49:16
dungeons and dragons especially role
00:49:18
playing the dungeon master also told me
00:49:20
in private that i was going to be
00:49:22
something of a mcguffin as asha's
00:49:25
goddess would commune with her through
00:49:27
dreams and visions but i would have the
00:49:29
final say on what to share with my party
00:49:32
both in game and out of character the
00:49:34
basic plot was that a sect of asha's
00:49:37
religion was becoming a cult and warping
00:49:39
the religion so asha's goddess sent her
00:49:42
on a mission to squash the heretics my
00:49:45
ex-boyfriend rolled a tiefling warlock
00:49:48
who he named after his own gamer tag
00:49:50
let's call it steven so asha and monk
00:49:53
meet up and they have the same goal
00:49:55
turns out the cult has taken over the
00:49:57
monk's temple and killed his best friend
00:49:59
asha doesn't trust strangers who are not
00:50:00
of her religion but her goddess tells
00:50:03
her to do the work with the monk okay
00:50:05
cool then we meet seven asha instahates
00:50:08
him he's a warlock and she's a religious
00:50:10
fanatic monk convinces asha to let the
00:50:12
warlock join us as he has some secret
00:50:15
mission from his patron that at least
00:50:18
somewhat aligns with asha and the monk
00:50:21
she doesn't like it but she trusts the
00:50:22
monk because her goddess said she should
00:50:24
seven instantly starts to hit on asha
00:50:27
she's rejecting awkwardly both in game
00:50:30
and out of character but it's not too
00:50:32
bad it kind of makes sense that an evil
00:50:34
warlock would get a kick out of making
00:50:36
this goody two shoes feel uncomfortable
00:50:38
we have a few fun fights meet a playable
00:50:41
character who asha really likes and gets
00:50:43
a great vibe off of but can't convince
00:50:45
to join us because i fail the charisma
00:50:47
checks she's mad shy and timid as she's
00:50:49
expressing this affection to the nbc
00:50:51
seven gets mad and tries to steal from
00:50:54
him in his own home asha gets mad and
00:50:56
calls him out i never said she was
00:50:58
subtle and instead of dropping the
00:51:00
random thing he stole seven decides to
00:51:02
attack the npc guards get called and the
00:51:04
dungeon master goes easy on us and
00:51:06
instead of total party killing us has us
00:51:08
kicked out of the city this is when
00:51:09
seven kicks it up he begins making much
00:51:12
harder stronger moves on asha and out of
00:51:15
character i'm beginning to feel really
00:51:16
uncomfortable i'm new to role playing
00:51:18
and also at that time i was very
00:51:20
uncomfortable with pda public displays
00:51:22
of affection so this was not great for
00:51:24
me we make camp after a rough goblet
00:51:27
encounter and seven immediately says
00:51:29
that he wants to sneak into my tent the
00:51:31
dungeon master pauses and asks why my
00:51:35
ex-boyfriend says i'm gonna do her the
00:51:37
dungeon master says um asha i quietly
00:51:41
and uncomfortably respond asha wouldn't
00:51:43
do that the dungeon master says that's a
00:51:45
no seven so monk ex-boyfriend cuts him
00:51:48
off and says i sneak in man dungeon
00:51:51
master takes a long pause and says to
00:51:54
talk to her ex-boyfriend says nope
00:51:58
the dungeon master takes a longer pause
00:52:00
actually asha has taken a vow of
00:52:03
celibacy sorry i almost forgot this
00:52:06
wasn't on my backstory but also wasn't
00:52:08
far out of the realm of possibility i
00:52:10
did note on the backstory that she was
00:52:11
somewhat prudish so a vow of celibacy
00:52:14
doesn't seem that much of a stretch
00:52:15
ex-boyfriend says so what my character
00:52:18
doesn't care about that dm says so
00:52:21
you're going to
00:52:22
force yourself on her ex-boyfriend says
00:52:25
if i have to
00:52:26
he is literally grinning as he says this
00:52:29
monk looks disgusted and shocked dm just
00:52:32
looks confused i'm starting to feel
00:52:34
myself shake and go into a panic attack
00:52:37
i can't say anything i'm just focused on
00:52:39
trying to breathe dm says i'm not
00:52:41
allowing that 7 doesn't do that just no
00:52:45
he pauses for a long time takes off his
00:52:47
glasses and rubs his face then he sighs
00:52:50
and says you know what guys i've got a
00:52:52
headache let's end this session early as
00:52:54
we pack up dm says he has a new dream
00:52:57
frasha and it's the norm for us to
00:52:59
discuss those in private away from monk
00:53:01
and the ex-boyfriend so we move to a
00:53:03
different room dm gives me his wife's
00:53:05
cell phone number and says to please
00:53:07
call her if i ever feel unsafe he tells
00:53:10
me i have lots of friends who care about
00:53:12
me and i don't have to put up with
00:53:13
anyone mistreating me when we get in the
00:53:15
car my ex-boyfriend starts ranting about
00:53:18
monks saying that when they were alone
00:53:20
monk made a comment about how gross he
00:53:22
had been and that ex-boyfriend had said
00:53:24
his character was just as entitled to
00:53:26
asha's body as he was to mine the
00:53:29
dungeon master never invited us to
00:53:31
another session though him and his wife
00:53:33
did call me a few times to check on me
00:53:35
something that sent my ex-boyfriend into
00:53:38
rages looking back on it i can see that
00:53:40
this game was the first time anyone had
00:53:42
to put words to what was happening in
00:53:44
real time to me and hearing it from an
00:53:46
older man really began to fit pieces
00:53:48
together in my head about how unhealthy
00:53:51
that relationship was yes the things he
00:53:53
tried to do to my character were similar
00:53:55
to things he did to me it took a dungeon
00:53:57
the dragons campaign to make me and his
00:54:00
friends realize how nasty he actually
00:54:02
was this was six or seven years ago but
00:54:04
i've been thinking about this lately
00:54:05
because a friend of mine has encouraged
00:54:07
me to try out dungeons and dragons again
00:54:09
this time with him as a dungeon master
00:54:11
and a male character inspired by a cross
00:54:14
of dick grayson and a character from the
00:54:16
feist novels hopefully second time is
00:54:19
the charm this story is just sad i mean
00:54:22
at least there's a silver lining that it
00:54:24
sounds like she got out of this whole
00:54:26
relationship a long time ago and on top
00:54:28
of that she was in a situation where she
00:54:30
was able to have someone that seemed
00:54:32
like they cared about her even if they
00:54:34
didn't know her super well which was the
00:54:37
dungeon master and not only that the
00:54:39
dungeon master not only reached out to
00:54:41
say to call him if she ever needed him
00:54:43
presumably even more comfortable for her
00:54:45
by saying hey why don't you call my wife
00:54:47
here's my wife's number so that way she
00:54:49
didn't have to feel like she was going
00:54:50
from the pot to the frying pan i think
00:54:52
that was very smart the way that the
00:54:53
dungeon master did it subtly and safely
00:54:56
and not only that but both him and his
00:54:58
wife actually called to check in on her
00:55:00
it sounds like from time to time after
00:55:02
that point somebody noticed that a lot
00:55:03
of these rpg horror stories have made me
00:55:06
realize that my partner is a horrible
00:55:08
monster and i wonder why that is the
00:55:10
case i mean maybe it's because rather
00:55:12
than role-playing some people are just
00:55:14
revealing what they really feel or what
00:55:16
they really want to say i'm not really
00:55:17
sure let me know what you think down
00:55:19
below in the comments and also what
00:55:21
would you do if you were in this
00:55:22
situation my girlfriend couldn't catch a
00:55:25
break at the local game store so i
00:55:26
managed to get my girlfriend into
00:55:27
dungeons and dragons last summer after
00:55:29
playing a few games with friends to play
00:55:31
more we checked out two different game
00:55:33
stores both times random men would make
00:55:36
her super uncomfortable the first time
00:55:38
it happened she was just checking out
00:55:40
the store with me before i sat down to
00:55:42
play she had a time constraint as i was
00:55:44
saying goodbye when one of the men spoke
00:55:46
up and said to her i bet you don't even
00:55:49
want to play
00:55:50
you just want to go do girl stuff
00:55:53
the rest of the table laughed and it was
00:55:55
totally uncalled for since she did want
00:55:57
to play we both ended up leaving shortly
00:56:00
after the next time we were in a
00:56:01
different game shop waiting to play just
00:56:04
sitting at the table a really quiet guy
00:56:06
had been listening to her and i decide
00:56:08
what snacks to buy and the guy says well
00:56:10
would you rather have pleasure in your
00:56:13
mouth or in your stomach i immediately
00:56:16
say take it easy dude you're over the
00:56:17
line needless to say i end up becoming a
00:56:20
dungeon master myself so things worked
00:56:22
out in the end but please show respect
00:56:25
to your fellow gamers at the game store
00:56:27
this is strange because you would think
00:56:30
that people would want other people to
00:56:33
want to play their games or to at least
00:56:34
feel welcome to playing their games i
00:56:36
mean if you're playing something
00:56:37
theoretically you would want as many
00:56:39
other people to play that thing
00:56:40
especially if it's at a game store so
00:56:42
that it doesn't die at the game store if
00:56:44
you guys ever played a game series
00:56:45
before usually if a particular game is
00:56:47
not popular enough they'll stop having
00:56:49
events for it they'll stop selling stuff
00:56:51
for it they'll stop having a community
00:56:52
based around it so anything to pull away
00:56:54
from that seems like a very
00:56:56
counter-intuitive way to go and i'm
00:56:59
guessing that these guys are just not
00:57:01
thinking that far ahead they're just
00:57:03
saying weird stuff because they're not
00:57:06
socially calibrated to a normal
00:57:08
environment with a girl i guess maybe
00:57:10
they've just been so long since they've
00:57:11
seen a girl they don't know how to act
00:57:13
so they say weird stuff like this which
00:57:15
unfortunately ends up making the girl
00:57:17
very uncomfortable and this doesn't only
00:57:19
apply to girls or one gender or the
00:57:21
other this is for anyone who is
00:57:22
uncomfortable for any reason because
00:57:24
you're saying things that would make
00:57:25
them feel like that someone said in my
00:57:27
experience open groups like the sessions
00:57:29
played at game stores also attract
00:57:30
people who might be too socially inept
00:57:33
to be accepted by closed groups it's
00:57:36
always a gamble that's an interesting
00:57:37
point that somebody else wanted to
00:57:39
follow up on by saying this right here
00:57:41
game shops smell like onions because
00:57:43
some dungeon master got tired of his pad
00:57:46
smelling like onions the local shop
00:57:48
dweller who complains about the lack of
00:57:49
women probably lost his seat at a
00:57:52
private game because he made other
00:57:53
players uncomfortable shops are resupply
00:57:56
spots for me and nothing more i've had
00:57:58
better luck filling my table with people
00:58:00
i larp with since i can vet them way in
00:58:03
advance so anyways don't be like these
00:58:05
guys just be cool but let me know what
00:58:07
you would do if you were in this
00:58:08
situation or if you ever have been what
00:58:10
did you do you steal my identity i steal
00:58:14
your cars our 40-something-year-old
00:58:16
neighbor frank smith has a brother three
00:58:19
years older named fred with the two
00:58:21
similar in looks and in build apparently
00:58:23
these boys were not obedient children
00:58:26
and got into trouble a lot frank mostly
00:58:29
straightened up by the time he reached
00:58:30
21 years old but fred kept at it with
00:58:33
the drinking the pills and multiple
00:58:35
dui's while the two were still living at
00:58:37
home with their parents in their early
00:58:38
20s frank happened to leave his wallet
00:58:40
on the kitchen counter one night after
00:58:41
coming home from a night out the next
00:58:43
morning he discovered his id wasn't in
00:58:45
his wallet thinking he must have left it
00:58:47
at the bar the night before he tried
00:58:49
locating him with no luck not thinking
00:58:51
much about it he just got a new id fast
00:58:53
forward a year or so and frank gets a
00:58:56
phone call it's his uncle whose son
00:58:58
works at the county jail fred has been
00:59:00
arrested and their cousin happened to
00:59:03
see him when he was getting booked under
00:59:06
the name frank smith it turns out fred
00:59:09
had given the police frank's name and id
00:59:13
and was going to jail under frank's
00:59:15
identity needless to say frank was
00:59:19
pissed he went down to the jail to prove
00:59:21
he was frank and that fred was the liar
00:59:24
fred was ultimately sentenced to serve
00:59:26
time and stay put during that time fred
00:59:29
was in jail frank received a letter in
00:59:32
the mail from the state bmv it said that
00:59:35
his two vehicles an audi sedan and a vw
00:59:38
bug were due for emission checks frank
00:59:41
was confused because he only owned a
00:59:44
truck he went to the bmv and discovered
00:59:46
that these two vehicles were indeed
00:59:49
titled in his name that's when frank
00:59:52
realized his brother fred who had lost
00:59:54
the right to own a vehicle due to
00:59:56
excessive duis used his identity to
00:59:59
register these cars so now for the
01:00:02
revenge frank asked how much it would
01:00:04
cost to get duplicates of the titles
01:00:06
eight dollars each so he paid 16
01:00:09
and walked away with title documents for
01:00:12
two cars he knew enough of his brother's
01:00:14
friends to start calling around in
01:00:16
search of the cars lo and behold he
01:00:18
located them at different locations
01:00:20
frank is a knowledgeable mechanic and
01:00:22
could start these cars without keys but
01:00:24
he knocked on the door of each house
01:00:26
where the cars were he explained to each
01:00:28
person that he owned the title to the
01:00:29
car showing them the document and gave
01:00:31
them the opportunity to remove their
01:00:33
belongings from the vehicle before he
01:00:34
took it they understood and didn't push
01:00:37
back taking their things out of the car
01:00:38
and handing him the keys frank proceeded
01:00:40
to sell both the cars and pocket around
01:00:43
three thousand dollars for all his
01:00:45
troubles the good news is after his
01:00:47
stint in jail fred got sober and became
01:00:50
someone frank could actually be friends
01:00:52
with a brother doing this to his own
01:00:54
sibling is pretty sad i mean he
01:00:56
obviously wanted to own cars and lost
01:00:58
the ability to own any cars but if it
01:01:00
was really that big of a deal he
01:01:02
probably could have talked to his
01:01:03
brother and figure something out instead
01:01:04
of just stealing his id and then going
01:01:07
through an entire life like this
01:01:09
ultimately ending up in jail and even in
01:01:11
that moment he still could have said oh
01:01:13
i don't have my id or my name is this or
01:01:15
whatever but he still tried to throw his
01:01:17
own brother under the bus which
01:01:18
ultimately backfired because i'm sure
01:01:20
there must be some sort of further
01:01:22
penalty for lying about who you are and
01:01:24
trying to get out of it and now he's
01:01:25
gonna be sentenced to serve however much
01:01:27
extra time because of that selling the
01:01:28
cars for the three thousand dollars
01:01:30
although it is a lot of money doesn't
01:01:32
really set everything right here because
01:01:33
you still have to live knowing that your
01:01:35
brother would do something like this to
01:01:36
you which is just sad but let me know
01:01:38
what you would do if you're in this
01:01:39
situation and is frank the jerk or not
01:01:42
for doing what he did here my cousin
01:01:44
stole loads of jewelry so i stole his
01:01:47
inheritance first off i do not speak
01:01:50
lawyer so please forgive me for what i'm
01:01:52
about to say this is the backstory 25
01:01:54
years ago my aunt passed away when i was
01:01:56
a baby leaving my two cousins who were
01:01:58
both in their early 20s alone to fend
01:02:00
for themselves my grandparents who were
01:02:02
very wealthy put a clause in their will
01:02:03
that grandkids will receive half of
01:02:06
their share of inheritance if a parent
01:02:08
passes before the children reach age 30
01:02:10
and then the other half when my
01:02:12
grandparents eventually pass away both
01:02:14
my cousins received a very sizable
01:02:17
inheritance coupled with the money they
01:02:19
got from selling my aunt's house the
01:02:20
younger of the two paid off her college
01:02:22
loans and was able to buy property she
01:02:24
still lives on the same plot of land the
01:02:26
older sibling blew all of his money
01:02:28
straight out of a book of the bible
01:02:29
within six years he was back to living
01:02:31
in a condo working as a police officer
01:02:33
everyone in our small family knew he had
01:02:36
a substance issue so he was barely
01:02:38
making ends meet with his officer salary
01:02:40
and buying copious amounts of drugs the
01:02:42
next four years my cousin went to rehab
01:02:44
three times sponsored by my grandparents
01:02:46
he sobered up after getting his
01:02:48
girlfriend now wife pregnant she is an
01:02:51
absolutely wretched woman she saw my
01:02:54
grandparents as a payday and essentially
01:02:56
baby trapped my cousin thinking it was
01:02:58
her ticket within seven years they had
01:03:00
three kids so she is locked in tight
01:03:02
she's a nurse with three kids around
01:03:03
they always need a little boost guess
01:03:05
who they would always ask you got it my
01:03:08
grandparents being the kind spirits they
01:03:10
are they always landed a hand my father
01:03:12
mother sister and i got sick of it very
01:03:14
quickly my grandmother unfortunately
01:03:16
passed away when i was 17 leaving my
01:03:18
grandpa as the last remaining i was
01:03:20
undoubtedly my grandfather's favorite
01:03:22
among the grandkids which left a real
01:03:24
sore spot in the mouth of my cousin and
01:03:26
his wife i had two more years at home
01:03:28
before college so i live with my grandpa
01:03:29
to keep him company and help take care
01:03:31
of him my cousin and his wife hated this
01:03:34
so much that whenever they came to visit
01:03:36
and i was not home they would send their
01:03:38
three gremlins into my room to destroy
01:03:40
it my room had double doors so it could
01:03:42
not be locked this was the start the
01:03:45
longer i lived there the more they would
01:03:46
mess with me my cousin even went as far
01:03:49
as to place one of those little
01:03:50
mechanical noise makers in the cabinet
01:03:52
in my room the ones that play sounds at
01:03:55
random intervals to make you think that
01:03:56
you are insane thankfully my german
01:03:58
shepherd would always hear it after a
01:03:59
week or so she finally found it they did
01:04:01
this to distance me and deter me from
01:04:03
taking care of my grandpa so they could
01:04:05
swoop in and be the heroes this
01:04:07
continued until one of the kids
01:04:10
found in quotes my gun by this time i
01:04:13
was 18 in possession of a firearm i use
01:04:15
quotations because my grandfather has
01:04:17
guns but cannot aim and shoot them
01:04:19
anymore due to his arthritis and nerve
01:04:20
degeneration so when i moved in he
01:04:22
placed all the weapons in my hands
01:04:24
should the need of self-defense arise
01:04:26
but should he see them out for any
01:04:28
reason other than cleaning there would
01:04:29
be hell to raise being very well trained
01:04:31
with guns and having a sense of pride in
01:04:33
defending my home i took this
01:04:34
responsibility very seriously i always
01:04:37
kept a handgun in a locked container in
01:04:39
my nightstand with the key on a high
01:04:42
shelf out of reach of the gremlins one
01:04:44
fateful day i am out getting my
01:04:45
grandfather food when i come in and my
01:04:48
older cousin and his wife and my
01:04:49
grandfather are staring at a gun on the
01:04:51
table it was my gun that i kept in the
01:04:53
lock box it was loaded and had one
01:04:56
chambered i always kept a magazine in
01:04:58
the lock box but never loaded it the
01:05:00
lock box was nowhere to be found my
01:05:02
cousin claimed one of the children had
01:05:04
found it and was playing with it i was
01:05:06
100 certain that he either found the key
01:05:09
or broke the lock box open to get it and
01:05:11
a six-year-old would not be able to
01:05:13
reach the key that i could barely grab
01:05:14
and figure out what it was for load it
01:05:17
and chamber it i tried my best to
01:05:18
explain what my cousin had said was
01:05:20
nonsense and that i would never keep my
01:05:22
arms loaded in the house but my cousin
01:05:24
who is a cop scolded me on gun safety
01:05:27
and threatened to have me arrested if i
01:05:29
didn't leave and hadn't arrested me yet
01:05:31
because we're family i was asked to
01:05:33
collect my belongings and go back to my
01:05:34
parents my cousin had won or so he
01:05:37
thought the next day i apologized to my
01:05:39
grandpa and explained to him that there
01:05:40
was no way that one of the kids could
01:05:41
have gotten the key he agreed with me
01:05:43
and then he apologized but he thought it
01:05:45
was best i move out until things cooled
01:05:47
down but once they do i would be
01:05:49
welcomed back our relationship was a
01:05:50
little fractured due to disinformation
01:05:52
provided by my cousin a month later my
01:05:55
grandfather died of a heart attack at 86
01:05:57
years old and i was devastated i was
01:05:59
just beginning to get back into the
01:06:00
rhythm with him rebuilding the trust
01:06:02
that was somewhat shattered and to this
01:06:04
day i'm still unsure what kind of man he
01:06:06
saw me as due to my cousin immediately
01:06:09
my cousin and his wife began sucking up
01:06:11
to my dad as they had sealed a payday
01:06:14
with grandpa it was time to move on to
01:06:15
the uncle this persisted for a month or
01:06:17
two and i wouldn't stand for it then
01:06:20
came time for the will my grandfather's
01:06:22
lawyer read out the will to me my father
01:06:24
my mother and my sister in our home our
01:06:26
two cousins would be briefed
01:06:28
individually on their share of the
01:06:29
estate per my grandparents request then
01:06:32
the miracle line in the will comes to
01:06:34
fruition and this was it if anyone
01:06:37
attempts to claim any part of the estate
01:06:40
that is not assigned to them they
01:06:42
forfeit any assets they are supposed to
01:06:45
receive and will be divided equally
01:06:47
among the remaining family members this
01:06:49
was basically their way of saying if you
01:06:51
try to claim more than you're given you
01:06:53
will get nothing my father is supposed
01:06:55
to receive every piece of physical
01:06:57
property aside from two or three items
01:07:00
that he set aside for me from my
01:07:01
grandparents as he is the only remaining
01:07:03
child so here is the revenge i hatched
01:07:06
my plan i called my cousin and told him
01:07:09
all of my grandma's jewelry was to be
01:07:11
donated to a charity auction grandma's
01:07:13
collection of gems and medals was
01:07:14
extensive to say the least so a charity
01:07:16
event wouldn't care if a few pieces
01:07:18
didn't make it right it was lure of
01:07:20
gargantuan proportions that my greedy
01:07:23
jerk of a cousin could not resist he bit
01:07:26
right on it and headed over to my
01:07:27
grandparents house asap determined to
01:07:30
snatch up as much as he could a handful
01:07:33
would send his kids to college
01:07:34
regardless of what i said the jewelry
01:07:36
was never going to go with him anyways
01:07:39
so his actions were purely his own since
01:07:41
none of it was destined to be his
01:07:43
coincidentally dad was on his way with
01:07:46
the lawyer to my grandparents house to
01:07:48
overlook everything all the formalities
01:07:50
according to my dad's testimony my
01:07:52
cousin had three shoe boxes worth of
01:07:54
grandma and grandpa's jewelry piled on
01:07:57
the kitchen counter ready for loading in
01:07:59
his car my dad and lawyer stood in the
01:08:01
kitchen wondering why it was all there
01:08:03
when my cousin walks in from my
01:08:05
grandparents room with a fourth and
01:08:07
final shoe box the jig was up and he put
01:08:10
two and two together that i set him up
01:08:12
which was true but there was no penalty
01:08:14
against me for exploiting my cousin's
01:08:15
greed that would eventually screw
01:08:17
himself over it's worth noting that
01:08:19
between the 18 years from my aunt's
01:08:22
death and my grandpa's death their
01:08:23
wealth had increased several times over
01:08:25
so my cousin felt cheated and expected
01:08:27
to receive just as much as my sister and
01:08:30
i despite receiving half of his already
01:08:33
and blowing it throughout this whole
01:08:34
ordeal his younger sister my other
01:08:36
cousin has not had a problem at all and
01:08:38
is still weeping over our grandpa's
01:08:40
death like the rest of us however just
01:08:42
like that my cousin lost enough money in
01:08:45
the course of 30 minutes that made him
01:08:47
contemplate his sanity over greed my
01:08:50
cousin's cruel wife
01:08:52
apparently filed for divorce a few weeks
01:08:54
later we haven't heard from him in
01:08:56
nearly six years and he is all but
01:08:58
disgraced now you can call this a fairy
01:09:00
tale ending and on this particular part
01:09:02
of the story it somewhat is there is a
01:09:04
massive lawsuit by an unknown family
01:09:06
member involving the irs and fbi later
01:09:09
on but honestly i would rather have my
01:09:11
grandparents so was i the jerk for
01:09:13
setting up my cousin and making him lose
01:09:15
his inheritance this sounds like a very
01:09:18
dysfunctional family all the way back
01:09:20
from the cousin had his kids supposedly
01:09:23
find the arms in his house in order to
01:09:25
disgrace the op in front of his
01:09:26
grandfather all the way to what the opie
01:09:28
had to do to his cousin with this whole
01:09:31
setup situation with the jewelry it
01:09:33
seems like in all these inheritance
01:09:35
stories there's always something that
01:09:36
goes wrong it feels like inheritances
01:09:38
themselves tend to break up a family
01:09:40
more than most things do family members
01:09:43
in these situations tend to turn against
01:09:44
each other when they would normally
01:09:46
never do something like that but the
01:09:47
idea of getting money oftentimes changes
01:09:50
people some of the top responses said
01:09:52
imagining your cousin walking into the
01:09:53
kitchen with that box of jewelry and
01:09:55
seeing everyone standing there makes me
01:09:56
smile so much this is referring to the
01:09:58
fourth shoe box of jewelry of course and
01:10:00
then i'm sorry you weren't able to live
01:10:02
with your grandfather in his last
01:10:03
moments but it sounds like he knew what
01:10:05
was going on you're lucky to have had
01:10:07
such a close relationship with him and
01:10:08
that's true at least the grandfather
01:10:11
seemed like he was on the same page as
01:10:13
the op because that really seems like
01:10:15
what is what's painting the op the most
01:10:17
that is how his grandfather saw him in
01:10:19
his last moments of life but based on
01:10:21
what we saw here the grandfather
01:10:22
basically said hey i know what's going
01:10:24
on just wait for things to cool down and
01:10:26
you're welcome to come back and then
01:10:27
from there somebody else said that and i
01:10:29
love the thought that if he wasn't so
01:10:30
greedy he could have gone out of there
01:10:32
with a shoebox or two full of jewelry
01:10:35
before anyone arrived that is so true i
01:10:37
mean he had to go get all four of these
01:10:40
shoe boxes when i think the op said that
01:10:42
if you had one or two of these boxes it
01:10:43
could have paid for his kids college but
01:10:44
he wanted all of them still a hefty
01:10:46
payday and they would have kept their
01:10:48
inheritance but he had to just keep
01:10:50
going back for more and more and more
01:10:52
until he got caught i think there is
01:10:53
some animal i forgot what it was but
01:10:55
it's an animal that the way you trap it
01:10:57
is by putting something that it wants
01:10:59
and it gets caught because once it gets
01:11:01
the thing that it wants maybe it's food
01:11:02
or something it just won't let go it's
01:11:04
not that it's stuck it just won't let go
01:11:06
of the thing so if you guys know what
01:11:07
animal this is i just can't remember it
01:11:09
let me know down below and lastly to
01:11:11
kind of speak to the actions of that
01:11:13
shoebox that he just couldn't keep
01:11:15
getting somebody broke down a little bit
01:11:16
of the math or they said that he
01:11:17
probably thought that he could get away
01:11:19
with the four boxes so why stop adjust
01:11:21
the two let's think about the value of
01:11:23
these shoe boxes op said a handful would
01:11:25
be enough to send the kids to college
01:11:26
let's assume for exaggeration and that
01:11:28
it would be enough for one kid's college
01:11:30
a shoebox worth would be more than
01:11:32
enough for all three kids now if this is
01:11:34
the united states then that would have
01:11:36
been hundreds of thousands of dollars
01:11:37
per shoebox we can rule out most
01:11:39
european union countries since college
01:11:41
tuition is mostly free in my country it
01:11:43
isn't free but it is heavily subsidized
01:11:45
for three kids if they are local that
01:11:47
would run you about a hundred thousand
01:11:48
dollars without any further subsidy
01:11:50
that's still one hundred thousand
01:11:51
dollars per shoe box now for most people
01:11:53
an extra 400 000 is a lot of money if
01:11:56
it's the us that's a few million and
01:11:58
lesser in countries with cheaper
01:11:59
education i don't know what jewelry
01:12:01
would be that expensive still but greed
01:12:03
is one hell of a motivator so with all
01:12:05
that said let me know what you would do
01:12:07
if you're in this situation and is the
01:12:09
op a jerk or not am i the jerk for
01:12:12
leaving my son outside on christmas eve
01:12:16
night i have four children and i'm
01:12:18
pretty easy going they don't have a lot
01:12:20
of rules they have to abide by it's
01:12:21
simple be respectful do your chores and
01:12:24
for the two teenagers 15 and 16 years
01:12:26
old be back home before 10 pm well my 16
01:12:29
year old son came home at 11 pm last
01:12:32
night when the house was already locked
01:12:34
up after missing about 10 phone calls
01:12:36
from me he knocked to get in and i just
01:12:38
called him back and told him he could
01:12:40
sleep in the tree house and that there
01:12:42
were already blankets up there in the
01:12:43
tree house and hopefully this would be a
01:12:45
lesson to stick to curfew he was
01:12:46
apparently on a date with someone whom
01:12:48
we haven't met and didn't realize his
01:12:50
phone was set an hour behind to me
01:12:53
that's all excuses i told him he had the
01:12:55
rest of the night in the cubby to reset
01:12:57
his time and we'd see him in the morning
01:12:58
i opened the doors at six nice and early
01:13:01
and he came in and went to bed slept
01:13:03
until lunchtime holding his siblings up
01:13:05
from opening their gifts because we all
01:13:07
do it together as a family he thanked
01:13:09
everyone for his gifts and went back to
01:13:10
sleep after lunch my husband said that i
01:13:13
completely overreacted there was an
01:13:15
honest mistake and he's exhausted from
01:13:16
not being able to sleep in the tree
01:13:18
house he would have been able to it was
01:13:20
warm enough i put enough bedding up
01:13:21
there still my husband says it was a
01:13:23
complete jerk move so am i the jerk i
01:13:27
mean first off this is a kid this is not
01:13:31
an adult child that is out and about and
01:13:33
they locked him out this is a kid it
01:13:35
sounds like he didn't even complain
01:13:37
about this he just came into the house
01:13:39
at six a.m slept and then opened the
01:13:41
presents said thank you to everyone who
01:13:42
went back to sleep so it sounded like
01:13:43
the kid was pretty normal about this
01:13:46
hopefully it wasn't snowing or something
01:13:47
outside i think she probably would have
01:13:48
mentioned that she said that there was
01:13:50
enough bedding to be warm up there but
01:13:52
man this is pretty strange a lot of
01:13:54
people in response to this mentioned cps
01:13:56
which if you don't know is child
01:13:58
protective services and that this could
01:14:00
be a situation that child protective
01:14:02
services would do something about the
01:14:04
big question though is why didn't the
01:14:06
dad let the kid in if he was so against
01:14:09
this and the only thing i could think is
01:14:11
maybe the dad was actually asleep and
01:14:12
the mom was the one who answered the
01:14:14
phone he didn't but that part is unclear
01:14:16
since we don't have that information but
01:14:17
let me know what you would do in the
01:14:18
situation and is she the jerk or not for
01:14:21
leaving her son to sleep outside in a
01:14:24
tree house on christmas eve night am i
01:14:27
the jerk for gifting my boyfriend things
01:14:29
i got for free slash made myself and not
01:14:32
something with my own money i'm a 26
01:14:34
year old female and i've been dating my
01:14:36
27 year old boyfriend for about 10
01:14:38
months or so and this was our first
01:14:39
christmas together for context we both
01:14:42
make a good income i also have a hobby
01:14:44
passion of making candles which i often
01:14:47
give to friends and family for my works
01:14:49
christmas party at the end of november
01:14:50
we had a raffle with the prize being a
01:14:53
nintendo switch my boyfriend was
01:14:55
considering getting himself i ended up
01:14:57
winning and immediately thought he'd
01:14:59
love it i also wanted to make him two
01:15:01
candles one with the main sense of the
01:15:03
perfume that i wear that he likes and
01:15:05
the second of the sense that he likes i
01:15:07
thought that these would be great
01:15:08
presents when opening my presence he was
01:15:11
excited about the nintendo switch but
01:15:13
didn't seem that excited about the
01:15:15
candles i wrote a little note with the
01:15:16
candles but he barely even glanced at
01:15:18
them i opened my presents and was super
01:15:21
grateful but then he said he had
01:15:23
something to say because it was
01:15:24
upsetting him and wanted us to be able
01:15:26
to communicate with each other he was
01:15:28
upset that i had only gotten him one
01:15:30
real gift and he got me three which made
01:15:33
him feel underappreciated i was confused
01:15:35
because i thought the candles were real
01:15:37
gifts but i asked him what was a real
01:15:39
gift he said something you put money and
01:15:41
thought into then it shouldn't just be
01:15:42
something that he could get if he asked
01:15:44
me for free i was kind of offended and
01:15:46
said that the nintendo must not be a
01:15:48
real gift because i didn't pay for it
01:15:50
but got it from work he got upset
01:15:52
insinuated that i'd left his gift for
01:15:54
last minute and was getting defensive
01:15:56
over it before leaving we haven't spoken
01:15:58
since am i the jerk in the first part
01:16:01
you can't force somebody to be excited
01:16:02
about something that you give them even
01:16:04
if you are very excited for it so it
01:16:06
doesn't really make sense to be upset
01:16:08
that he isn't as excited as you want him
01:16:10
to be about that particular thing but
01:16:11
that said the rest of this gets very
01:16:14
strange the fact that he was upset that
01:16:17
she had only gotten him one real gift
01:16:19
was kind of ridiculous i mean he thinks
01:16:22
that he got her three year old gifts but
01:16:23
maybe she doesn't see it that way and
01:16:25
he's just defining it based on that
01:16:27
because he spent money on them which is
01:16:29
just a weird approach this all together
01:16:31
so if you don't spend money on something
01:16:33
then it's not a real gift which is kind
01:16:35
of the gotcha moment of the nintendo
01:16:37
switch being revealed that it was from
01:16:38
work and she didn't spend money on it
01:16:40
she probably said that to prove a point
01:16:41
but maybe he's gonna take that as being
01:16:43
well now you gave me zero real gifts
01:16:45
because you didn't spend any money on
01:16:46
them at all but let me know what you
01:16:48
would do in this situation and is the op
01:16:50
a jerk or not a jerk for gifting her
01:16:52
boyfriend things that she got for free
01:16:54
or made herself and not something with
01:16:56
her own money am i the jerk for snapping
01:16:58
at my boyfriend that i did not buy him a
01:17:01
woman's shirt for christmas i'm a 30
01:17:04
year old female and my boyfriend is a 36
01:17:06
year old male and like so many people
01:17:08
him and i exchanged gifts yesterday
01:17:10
morning on christmas one of the things i
01:17:12
got him was a hoodie from a kickstarter
01:17:14
that i had supported months ago the
01:17:15
hoodie is a full zip and is made from
01:17:18
sustainable materials lots of recycling
01:17:20
etc that we were both supporting of the
01:17:23
products are completely gender neutral
01:17:25
even in color options his is green it
01:17:27
was not cheap but i like supporting this
01:17:30
company for their business model he
01:17:31
loved the look and feel of the hoodie
01:17:33
and he couldn't wait to wear it he tried
01:17:35
the hoodie on and immediately said the
01:17:37
zipper is wrong and then fumbled around
01:17:38
trying to close it getting frustrated
01:17:41
because i guess it's a left-handed
01:17:43
zipper nowhere in the kickstarter info
01:17:45
did it say this that i noticed and to be
01:17:47
honest i don't know if i would have
01:17:48
noticed this meant anything he gets it
01:17:51
zipped and we head to his parents for
01:17:52
dinner he was explaining to everyone
01:17:55
there how it was a cool hoodie but the
01:17:57
zipper was backwards until his dad said
01:18:00
that's a woman's clothing and then
01:18:02
laughed at him a bit my boyfriend got
01:18:04
really quiet and on the ride home he
01:18:07
asked me why i thought it was a good
01:18:09
idea to buy him women's clothing and how
01:18:12
is he supposed to wear this now after
01:18:15
about 30 minutes of questions like did i
01:18:17
know this was a woman's and why wouldn't
01:18:19
they put the zipper on the right side i
01:18:21
kind of snapped and said it's just a
01:18:23
hoodie it's not a woman's hoodie who
01:18:25
cares what side the zipper is on now he
01:18:28
says he won't wear it anymore and is mad
01:18:30
that i bought him girl's clothes i've
01:18:32
looked through all of my clothes it's
01:18:34
about 50 50 which side the zipper is on
01:18:36
i don't get why this matters am i the
01:18:38
jerk for buying my boyfriend a gender
01:18:41
neutral hoodie with a left side zipper
01:18:43
and there's a little bit of added
01:18:45
information afterwards we just went to
01:18:47
my mom's house and my sister bought my
01:18:49
mom the exact same hoodie even the same
01:18:52
color we shared the kickstarter link but
01:18:54
didn't talk about the colors we were
01:18:56
ordering my boyfriend hasn't said
01:18:57
anything yet but i can tell that he's
01:18:59
even more upset i wish i was making this
01:19:02
up but this is getting ridiculous am i
01:19:04
the jerk the fact that the mom got a
01:19:08
gift in the exact same color of the
01:19:10
exact same hoodie does not help the
01:19:12
situation at all especially if he's in
01:19:14
this mindset that this is clothing for a
01:19:16
girl and he saw another woman in his
01:19:18
life get the exact same hoodie and the
01:19:20
exact same color although i don't know
01:19:22
anything about this whole zipper thing i
01:19:24
never knew that the zipper being on one
01:19:25
side or the other would make it more of
01:19:27
a girls thing or not a girl's thing i
01:19:29
don't think that's true but if you guys
01:19:31
know if there's anything to that let me
01:19:33
know i mean really the boyfriend's dad
01:19:35
kind of kicked this whole thing off i
01:19:36
think the boyfriend's dad is the one who
01:19:38
made the boyfriend insecure in the first
01:19:39
place by even suggesting that it had
01:19:42
anything to do with being clothing for
01:19:44
one gender or the other in fact one of
01:19:45
the top responses says the boyfriend's
01:19:47
dad is wrong special jerk bonus to the
01:19:50
boyfriend flying off the handle and
01:19:51
listening to his dad instead of you the
01:19:53
boyfriend's dad is mistaking the zipper
01:19:55
roll for the button rule men's wear
01:19:57
buttons on the opposite side of women's
01:19:59
wear the rule with the zipper is that
01:20:01
there is no such rule there's no rhyme
01:20:03
or reason for how stuff zips in menswear
01:20:05
versus women's wear kudos to the
01:20:07
boyfriend for being so super sensitive
01:20:09
that he allows some wrong and frankly
01:20:11
stupid perceived rule to ruin a hoodie
01:20:14
that he really liked and to hurt your
01:20:15
feelings and then there are some sources
01:20:17
that are included from a men's fashion
01:20:19
magazine about zippers in general and it
01:20:21
sounds like that's not really a real
01:20:23
thing this person is probably correct in
01:20:24
saying that the boyfriend's dad is
01:20:26
confusing the zipper roll with the
01:20:28
menswear button rule which i guess is a
01:20:30
thing so let me know what you do if
01:20:31
you're in this situation and jerk or not
01:20:34
a jerk for snapping at her boyfriend
01:20:37
that he did not buy him woman's clothing
01:20:39
for christmas am i the jerk for calling
01:20:41
out my mother-in-law for bringing her
01:20:43
husband a separate meal when i hosted
01:20:45
christmas we did christmas at our house
01:20:47
for the first time ever my mother-in-law
01:20:50
doesn't really like my cooking and it
01:20:51
has been a huge issue between me and her
01:20:54
and her and her son it is really just
01:20:56
the icing on the cake of a bad
01:20:58
relationship my mother-in-law called me
01:21:00
and told me that if we wanted her to
01:21:02
come to our christmas we had to accept
01:21:04
her bringing her own food because she is
01:21:07
pregnant she already struggles with
01:21:10
eating enough for the baby and she isn't
01:21:11
going to eat anything that she doesn't
01:21:13
want to and maybe throw up just to
01:21:15
stroke my ego i've never been pregnant
01:21:18
before i really don't know what it's
01:21:19
like so i gave her the benefit of the
01:21:20
doubt and told her to bring whatever she
01:21:22
needs my mother-in-law brought a
01:21:23
separate meal for herself and for her
01:21:26
husband that annoyed me because he is
01:21:29
not pregnant he can suck it up and eat
01:21:31
something that he isn't crazy about when
01:21:33
we sat down i made a joke about which
01:21:35
one of them is pregnant and my
01:21:36
mother-in-law said she was packing her
01:21:39
meal and he got jealous and was
01:21:40
complaining that it wasn't fair this
01:21:43
obviously hurt me he tried to laugh it
01:21:45
off and say he should get some perks too
01:21:47
because he's about to be a dad i looked
01:21:50
at them and said wow you both are super
01:21:52
rude i tried to be nice to you because
01:21:54
you're pregnant but wow maybe next year
01:21:56
just don't come my mother-in-law
01:21:58
shrugged he rolled his eyes but dinner
01:22:00
was kind of tense and they left right
01:22:02
after my husband said that i overreacted
01:22:04
and i should have just let him eat
01:22:05
whatever he wanted but am i the jerk for
01:22:08
calling out my mother-in-law for
01:22:09
bringing her husband a separate meal
01:22:10
when i hosted christmas for those of you
01:22:12
that are wondering how old the
01:22:13
mother-in-law is apparently she is 38
01:22:16
years old and her son is 21 years old
01:22:19
and to go back to the main purpose of
01:22:21
this whole thing it sounds like the
01:22:22
mother-in-law doesn't want to deal with
01:22:25
the wife's cooking the o.p is cooking
01:22:27
here and instead of explaining what is
01:22:29
it exactly that she doesn't like or
01:22:30
trying to help her make the decisions in
01:22:32
order to cook food that she does like it
01:22:35
sounds like she wants to opt out of that
01:22:36
and that can be understandable since she
01:22:38
is pregnant and i'm sure she has a lot
01:22:39
going on based on everything you need to
01:22:41
do when you're pregnant but it sounds
01:22:43
like handling it that way instead of
01:22:45
trying to actually get to the core of it
01:22:46
is what's hurtful to the op here and the
01:22:49
op is pretty hurt by this and something
01:22:51
about this really seems like it's not
01:22:53
just the food i mean when she said the
01:22:54
thing that she tried to be nice because
01:22:56
she was pregnant maybe next year just
01:22:58
don't come the mother-in-law shrugged
01:22:59
her shoulders and the husband rolled his
01:23:01
eyes i mean that could be somewhat
01:23:02
influenced by the perspective of the o
01:23:04
piece since she was already hurt when
01:23:06
this moment happened but if that's
01:23:08
really how everything went down which we
01:23:09
have to assume it is then it doesn't
01:23:11
really seem like the food is the only
01:23:13
issue at play here but let me know what
01:23:15
you would do if you're in this situation
01:23:17
and is the opie the jerk or not a jerk
01:23:20
am i the jerk for refusing to host
01:23:22
christmas and ruining my husband's dream
01:23:25
so my husband is a 31 year old and has
01:23:28
always loved christmas and everything
01:23:30
even remotely related to it while i
01:23:32
don't really care as a 31 year old
01:23:34
female since my family is not christian
01:23:36
nor do they live in this country we
01:23:38
usually end up spending the holidays
01:23:39
with his family he has always lived in a
01:23:42
large household and everyone there
01:23:44
shares the same enthusiasm for christmas
01:23:46
which has always made it fun the problem
01:23:48
is that now my husband said that he
01:23:50
wants us to host christmas at our house
01:23:53
the next year and i was like okay sure
01:23:55
until he clarified he meant that i got
01:23:58
to host it prepare the dinner and do all
01:24:00
the grunt work now i have no idea what
01:24:03
goes into christmas my family is from a
01:24:05
different religion and my childhood only
01:24:07
consisted of me and my dad so the
01:24:09
holidays have never been a huge deal for
01:24:11
me i don't know how to do all the stuff
01:24:13
required he has already told them that
01:24:15
we'd be hosting christmas and i got mad
01:24:17
and said how can you say that without
01:24:19
even asking so i told him clearly that
01:24:21
it's not my responsibility to host
01:24:22
christmas for your family since i don't
01:24:25
really care one way or another but now
01:24:27
he's accusing me of ruining his lifelong
01:24:30
wish and he ended up telling his mother
01:24:32
about it so i know my mother-in-law and
01:24:34
sister-in-laws are blowing up my phone
01:24:36
by saying why am i being such a grinch
01:24:39
he has been sulking ever since we came
01:24:41
back last night i am firm on my stance
01:24:43
but i'm still wondering since it's just
01:24:45
a one-time thing should i suck it up am
01:24:47
i the jerk so when she says she has no
01:24:49
idea what goes into christmas she's
01:24:51
probably talking about preparation for
01:24:53
christmas because as she said here she's
01:24:55
been too many christmases with him but
01:24:57
has never prepared one the most obvious
01:25:00
thing is if this is really his wish why
01:25:02
doesn't he help make this christmas
01:25:05
happen he and his wife can go together
01:25:07
and do the entire christmas event as a
01:25:09
team rather than trying to shove all
01:25:12
this onto his wife who's not really even
01:25:14
into christmas or more accurately
01:25:16
doesn't really have that much experience
01:25:18
with christmas like how he does i mean
01:25:20
if he's using terms like that that this
01:25:21
is his one wish that she ruined for him
01:25:23
it kind of just sounds like he's trying
01:25:24
to guilt-trip her into doing what he
01:25:26
wants her to do for this thing without
01:25:28
having to do any work himself i mean
01:25:29
she's already viewing this as grunt work
01:25:32
so why not take some of that burden on
01:25:34
with her or if she doesn't want to do it
01:25:36
all the op his wife then just host a
01:25:38
christmas on his own if it's really his
01:25:40
wish so let me know what you would do if
01:25:42
you're in this situation and is the op
01:25:44
the jerk or not a jerk am i the jerk for
01:25:48
destroying family christmas i've been
01:25:50
with my wife for about five years
01:25:52
married for two and we have a
01:25:54
one-year-old son my mom is the type of
01:25:56
person who doesn't like change and
01:25:57
doesn't like new people and keeps to
01:25:59
herself that being said she isn't
01:26:01
controlling and doesn't seem to care
01:26:02
what her kids do with their lives but
01:26:04
she doesn't like when she feels things
01:26:06
are pushed on her she is also someone
01:26:08
who will keep doing what she does
01:26:09
without thinking so when we continue to
01:26:12
buy me lavish gifts but nothing for my
01:26:14
wife or baby i didn't think it was
01:26:16
malicious but it hurt my wife that even
01:26:19
after marriage my mom wasn't buying her
01:26:22
gifts i sat down with my mom and i
01:26:23
explained this my mom was totally
01:26:26
shocked and couldn't believe that my
01:26:27
wife expected a gift i try to explain
01:26:29
that my wife is part of the family now
01:26:31
but my mom was upset and said that she
01:26:33
has three kids and shouldn't have to
01:26:35
pretend my wife is her kid she seemed
01:26:38
really surprised so i do think that that
01:26:40
was genuine and she kept saying how
01:26:42
mortified she would be if her husband
01:26:44
expected gifts from her parents and that
01:26:46
she wouldn't be with such a quote
01:26:48
entitled child finally i told my mom to
01:26:51
stop it is okay if she has a difference
01:26:54
of opinion but she is hurting my wife
01:26:56
and it needs to stop my mom thought
01:26:58
about it for a couple of months talked
01:27:00
to my sisters who said she should just
01:27:01
suck it up and buy gifts for our
01:27:03
partners and her ultimate decision was
01:27:05
that she didn't want to host christmas
01:27:08
anymore i thought she was bluffing so i
01:27:10
ignored it for months i realized she was
01:27:13
being serious and said fine we can do it
01:27:16
at my house but she didn't want to come
01:27:19
i mailed her a small gift as a test she
01:27:22
mailed it back finally i was like screw
01:27:24
it and did christmas with my wife
01:27:26
sisters and their partners both of my
01:27:29
sisters were miserable the entire time
01:27:31
and one cried which i thought was
01:27:33
crazily dramatic my mom was on vacation
01:27:36
and had her phone off the sister who
01:27:38
cried finally blew up that my wife and i
01:27:41
ruined christmas and ruined our family
01:27:45
and she left early her and my other
01:27:47
sister called on my mom later and
01:27:49
finally got her to answer and begged her
01:27:52
to do a normal christmas again and my
01:27:54
mom said she feels like now that we are
01:27:57
all getting married and having kids it
01:28:00
shouldn't be her problem anymore and she
01:28:03
will think about it but she is leaning
01:28:04
towards me now my sisters are angry and
01:28:07
feel that i ruined family christmas am i
01:28:11
the jerk rewinding back all the way to
01:28:14
the op's wife getting and receiving
01:28:16
gifts is probably her love language if
01:28:18
you guys have heard of this concept some
01:28:20
people have specific love languages
01:28:22
where they either give love or feel love
01:28:25
that is received and one of those is
01:28:27
gift giving and gift receiving so that's
01:28:29
probably what she was just trying to
01:28:31
express there is that she didn't feel
01:28:32
like she was loved a part of the family
01:28:34
and as some people might think it's
01:28:35
consumeristic or materialistic that's
01:28:38
probably just the way that she feels
01:28:40
loved by the family and maybe that's the
01:28:42
way she shows her love by giving people
01:28:43
gifts as well as opposed to other types
01:28:46
of love languages like quality time and
01:28:49
acts of service stuff like that the
01:28:50
strange part here is that the op is
01:28:52
doing things to test if his mom is
01:28:54
bluffing the wife is clearly saying what
01:28:57
is bothering her and the mom is clearly
01:29:00
saying what bothers her but somehow he's
01:29:02
doing things that are trying to test her
01:29:04
bluff which is kind of a weird reaction
01:29:06
but he's also put in a strange spot
01:29:08
because he's stuck between the two rocks
01:29:11
of his mom and his wife here and he
01:29:12
doesn't say anything about this but it
01:29:14
sounds like his mom already has some
01:29:15
sort of preconceived notions about his
01:29:17
wife at least to some degree because she
01:29:19
even refers to his wife as an entitled
01:29:22
child so let me know what you guys think
01:29:24
jerk or not a jerk and what would you do
01:29:26
if you were in this situation am i the
01:29:28
jerk for siding with my parents when
01:29:30
they told my sister and her fiance to
01:29:33
sleep separately i'm a 19 year old
01:29:35
female and i live with my parents who
01:29:36
are 52 years old my mom and my dad is a
01:29:39
54 year old male i have an older sister
01:29:41
who is 25 years old who's engaged to her
01:29:43
boyfriend of 6 years who's 26. her
01:29:46
fiance and her have been living together
01:29:48
for three years they got engaged this
01:29:50
year my sister also announced to us a
01:29:53
while ago that they're expecting a baby
01:29:55
in our house there is a strict rule
01:29:58
about unmarried couples not sleeping
01:30:00
together and my sister knows that she's
01:30:02
left the house for three years since she
01:30:04
moved in with her fiance and she started
01:30:06
visiting us for the holidays they live
01:30:08
in a different area two hours away for
01:30:10
the past three years the rule was that
01:30:11
they'll sleep in different rooms since
01:30:13
they're not official but my sister was
01:30:15
never fond of this rule and always tried
01:30:17
to have it her way but she didn't this
01:30:19
year she threw a fit because my parents
01:30:23
wouldn't let her sleep on the same bed
01:30:25
as her fiance despite them two living
01:30:27
together for so many years and despite
01:30:30
being engaged and expecting they got in
01:30:33
a huge fight on christmas eve and i
01:30:36
sided with my parents saying that it's
01:30:38
their house and their rules and if she
01:30:40
doesn't like it she can just never visit
01:30:43
again but she has to respect the hosts
01:30:46
and most importantly the people who
01:30:47
raised her then she called me a jerk and
01:30:50
said that i'm still too young to
01:30:52
understand why what my parents are doing
01:30:54
is disrespectful to her and to her
01:30:57
fiance i don't think i'm the jerk
01:30:59
because no matter how absurd a rule
01:31:01
sounds if you visit someone's house you
01:31:03
do as they say period but for the sake
01:31:05
of collecting some unbiased opinions am
01:31:08
i the jerk for siding with my parents
01:31:10
that when my sister threw a fit about
01:31:12
how disrespectful it is and they won't
01:31:14
let her sleep on the same bed that it
01:31:16
really wasn't so am i the jerk speaking
01:31:19
to the side of the sister in this case
01:31:22
she is engaged and she is expecting a
01:31:25
baby so she's almost married but i guess
01:31:28
that does violate the rule because
01:31:29
you're not married yet but it sounds
01:31:31
like the op just came across kind of
01:31:34
weird because she actually said that her
01:31:36
sister can just never visit the house
01:31:38
again i mean even if that's what she's
01:31:40
trying to get across it is a very
01:31:42
combative way to engage in this type of
01:31:44
conversation and of course there's gonna
01:31:46
be some sort of blow up at the end of
01:31:47
this the sister pointing out her age
01:31:48
really has nothing to do with this
01:31:50
because that's kind of just a cheap way
01:31:52
to dismiss her opinion because in this
01:31:54
case she is an adult but a lot of people
01:31:56
seem to be really split on this the very
01:31:58
top response to everything is saying
01:32:00
that you are the jerk you told her she
01:32:02
can either follow their rules or never
01:32:04
visit again which is very weird agreed
01:32:06
she's pregnant engaged and clearly
01:32:07
sleeps next to this man regularly they
01:32:09
travel two hours to sleep at someone
01:32:11
else's house because of the holidays and
01:32:12
being forced to sleep separately because
01:32:14
why what are your parents afraid of be
01:32:16
careful one day your parents will no
01:32:17
longer be around to host things like
01:32:19
this do not make an enemy out of your
01:32:21
sister someone pointed out that it's the
01:32:23
stupid thing of not wanting their kids
01:32:24
to do it before marriage or that a
01:32:26
relationship can't be serious before
01:32:28
that it's actually hilarious until your
01:32:30
ex-girlfriend's parents were exactly the
01:32:32
same and if this is the case i mean
01:32:34
obviously that didn't stop the sister
01:32:36
and her fiance from having a baby before
01:32:38
they were married which is the intended
01:32:40
purpose of this but on the flip side a
01:32:42
lot of other people are pointing out
01:32:43
that it is weird that the sister and her
01:32:45
fiance would travel all the way there
01:32:47
knowing what this rule was because this
01:32:49
rule has been in effect for a long time
01:32:51
and then expect to not follow it so let
01:32:54
me know what you would do if you were in
01:32:55
this situation and is the op a jerk or
01:32:58
not for siding with her parents against
01:33:00
her sister am i the jerk for how i
01:33:02
handle taking down the tree so my
01:33:05
boyfriend hates christmas and he doesn't
01:33:07
like giving or receiving gifts or any of
01:33:09
the festive traditions we've been dating
01:33:11
for four years and he knows i love
01:33:14
christmas so he plays along well last
01:33:16
night we agreed to take down the tree
01:33:18
next week but when we came downstairs
01:33:20
today he started taking everything down
01:33:23
his reasoning being that christmas is
01:33:25
over and the tree takes up space now
01:33:28
here's the thing a lot of the ornaments
01:33:30
there are family heirlooms most of them
01:33:32
are older or the same age as me which is
01:33:35
24 years old or some of them were made
01:33:38
by hand by my deceased grandmother my
01:33:41
boyfriend just started tossing the
01:33:43
ornaments on a table which started
01:33:44
stressing me out i was telling him to
01:33:46
stop to calm down or either move and
01:33:49
i'll put everything away he was getting
01:33:51
angry and started yelling at me because
01:33:53
i'm trying to keep up the tree well you
01:33:56
probably guessed it he threw an ornament
01:33:58
and it broke it was one of my
01:34:00
grandmother's handmade ornaments i took
01:34:03
one long look and i just broke down i
01:34:06
started ugly crying he started getting
01:34:09
more mad telling me that i'm being
01:34:10
childish and stupid for getting upset
01:34:14
about a tree i feel like i'm the jerk
01:34:16
because i already started yelling at him
01:34:18
to step away from the tree because he
01:34:19
was gonna break more ornaments and when
01:34:21
he wouldn't he kept calling me childish
01:34:24
and i kept yelling at him telling him
01:34:26
he's being a jerk after he put
01:34:28
everything away he tried to talk to me
01:34:30
still telling me i was being childish
01:34:32
and stupid about a tree in the ornament
01:34:35
i get how it might be childish but i
01:34:36
don't have very many memories of my
01:34:38
grandmother but i have a picture and
01:34:40
growing up whenever i was sad i would
01:34:42
hug that picture and i would talk to her
01:34:44
i only have a small amount of jewelry or
01:34:46
handmade ornaments or trinkets from her
01:34:48
that are extremely special to me so i
01:34:50
don't know if i'm just being stupid and
01:34:52
i blew things up as a side note to
01:34:54
anyone showing concern my boyfriend
01:34:56
never is like this he's always shown me
01:34:59
and my belongings and my family respect
01:35:01
he has no christmas trauma and despite
01:35:03
not liking christmas he has always put
01:35:05
in an effort into doing my christmas
01:35:07
traditions that's partly why i was so
01:35:09
confused here and if i was the jerk
01:35:12
because this was so out of character for
01:35:13
our relationship he went upstairs for an
01:35:15
hour and when he came back he apologized
01:35:17
he said he was stressed and frustrated
01:35:19
about me yelling and he wasn't being as
01:35:21
careful as he should have been because
01:35:23
of it he said it was really an accident
01:35:25
and that he felt bad about breaking the
01:35:26
ornament i plan on having a discussion
01:35:28
with him as the way he handled the
01:35:29
situation wasn't right and we'll see how
01:35:31
things go but before then i need to know
01:35:34
am i the jerk yikes if they've been
01:35:36
together for four years celebrating
01:35:38
christmas he must have known how
01:35:40
sentimental these specific ornaments
01:35:42
were or if you didn't know exactly which
01:35:44
ones they were he must have known that
01:35:45
some of the ornaments on the tree were
01:35:47
from her deceased grandmother that she
01:35:49
has this very emotional and sentimental
01:35:51
attachment to so that's weird number one
01:35:55
and number two they already seemed like
01:35:57
they had an agreement the night before
01:35:58
they were gonna take down the tree next
01:36:00
week but for some reason he came down
01:36:02
and tried to take it down early which is
01:36:04
extremely weird for number two because
01:36:06
even in his apology he doesn't really
01:36:08
address that why did he start taking
01:36:10
down the christmas tree early to begin
01:36:12
with if that was their agreement it
01:36:13
makes sense that he probably didn't try
01:36:14
to break these ornaments on purpose it
01:36:16
was an accident i get that but why break
01:36:18
the agreement you made just the day
01:36:20
before you couldn't possibly forgotten
01:36:22
it so let me know what you do in this
01:36:23
situation
01:36:24
and also is the opa jerk or not a jerk
01:36:28
and why am i the jerk for getting a
01:36:30
hotel room i'm a 30 year old male and my
01:36:32
partner who's a 30 year old female flew
01:36:34
halfway across the country to visit her
01:36:36
family for christmas i sustained a
01:36:38
serious back injury at work at the end
01:36:40
of september and i have just recently
01:36:42
started gaining mobility again after
01:36:43
many painful months they were aware of
01:36:46
my injury and we even expressed our
01:36:47
concerns about traveling because of it
01:36:49
her parents are very traditional and
01:36:51
refuse to allow unmarried couples to
01:36:53
sleep in the same bed or room even
01:36:55
though they know we live together and
01:36:56
have visited our house in the past
01:36:58
because of this i was forced to sleep in
01:37:00
the basement bedroom on a twin mattress
01:37:02
that is at least 20 years old i should
01:37:04
also mention that i am six foot three
01:37:06
and i do not fit on a twin mattress at
01:37:08
all the first night was so incredibly
01:37:11
painful it caused my entire right leg to
01:37:13
go numb and i essentially got no sleep
01:37:16
we decided to get a hotel room after
01:37:17
that so i could actually sleep on a
01:37:19
decent mattress that didn't make my
01:37:20
injury worse when i explained this to my
01:37:22
partner's mother she insisted that i
01:37:24
just needed to adjust the mattress in
01:37:26
the basement and that i was being
01:37:27
ridiculous i was firm but polite about
01:37:30
it and she seemed to be fine with it
01:37:31
after that well when it came time to
01:37:33
head over to the hotel for the night she
01:37:35
freaked out she apparently didn't know
01:37:37
my partner was also staying at the hotel
01:37:39
she told my partner that she quote
01:37:41
didn't raise her like this and then just
01:37:44
sulked in the living room while we
01:37:45
packed our bags apparently after we left
01:37:48
she spent the rest of the night crying
01:37:50
all i wanted to do was sleep in a bed
01:37:51
that i could actually fit on and didn't
01:37:53
cause active nerve pain in my leg so am
01:37:57
i the jerk i mean the obvious answer
01:37:59
here is he could have gone to the hotel
01:38:02
by himself and left his partner in the
01:38:05
family house but clearly that wasn't
01:38:07
gonna happen here so it was gonna kick
01:38:09
up a lot of dust i can't imagine the mom
01:38:11
would actually be totally fine with it
01:38:13
if he had explained it to her that way
01:38:14
so maybe the mom felt a little bit
01:38:16
tricked because he made it seem like he
01:38:19
was going to the hotel and she wasn't
01:38:20
and then all of a sudden they surprised
01:38:22
her with the daughter going as well
01:38:25
because if he actually said hey i'm
01:38:26
going with your daughter and we're going
01:38:28
to the hotel room together her reaction
01:38:30
probably would have happened right then
01:38:31
and there if all things were normal
01:38:33
there was actually an update about this
01:38:34
where he said we went back over to her
01:38:36
parents this morning and her mom
01:38:37
literally wouldn't even speak to either
01:38:40
of us and was being incredibly passive
01:38:41
aggressive we went ahead and left for
01:38:43
the airport to catch a flight home we're
01:38:45
enjoying some much-needed arrests of the
01:38:46
airport and we're looking forward to get
01:38:47
back home i mean if the injury needed
01:38:50
her to be there to help him out with
01:38:51
something they could have told the mom
01:38:52
that too because the mom probably would
01:38:54
have been more understanding but if that
01:38:55
wasn't the case then it should have been
01:38:57
clear from the start but let me know
01:38:58
what you think jerk or not a jerk for
01:39:01
doing this and what would you do a
01:39:03
player attempts to seduce dungeon master
01:39:05
both in character and out of character
01:39:08
and causes a complete collapse of the
01:39:10
gaming group and even an in real life
01:39:12
breakup this whole situation was bizarre
01:39:15
unexpected it came completely out of
01:39:17
nowhere so since this story is a little
01:39:18
bit more intricate here are the
01:39:20
characters involved the dungeon master
01:39:22
is referred to as me the op dave is my
01:39:25
roommate playing a half orc fighter
01:39:27
annie was dave's girlfriend playing a
01:39:30
halfling cleric rich is a friend of mine
01:39:32
and dave's playing a zany gnome sorcerer
01:39:35
and trish the problem player was playing
01:39:38
a fox folk a reskinned tabaxi bard
01:39:41
because of course she was she could also
01:39:43
never quite decide whether this person
01:39:45
wore more cat or more fox or both it was
01:39:47
weird so we cast our minds back to the
01:39:50
days of yore 2013 i was at university
01:39:53
and we were playing dungeons and dragons
01:39:55
3.5 edition for context i'm not really
01:39:58
the typical nerd archetype i'm fairly
01:40:00
tall and my biggest interest outside of
01:40:03
tabletop rpgs science math nerdy movies
01:40:06
and video games is playing rugby i was
01:40:08
on the university team i am or was being
01:40:11
an adult sucks something of a socialite
01:40:13
i also host parties i love being the
01:40:15
center of attention i love singing in
01:40:17
short my highest irl stat is charisma my
01:40:20
lowest is apparently wisdom yes i'm a
01:40:23
dude bro yes the exact stereotype you're
01:40:26
thinking of that one is me after one
01:40:28
such get-together on my place which was
01:40:30
inevitably always a strange mix of guys
01:40:33
from the rugby team my course mates i
01:40:35
studied physics and my flatmates and
01:40:37
their mates etc myself dave and annie
01:40:39
were talking and i suggested of running
01:40:41
a dungeons and dragons game and they
01:40:43
were both into it neither of them had
01:40:45
played before but dave informed me that
01:40:47
our mutual friend rich played which i
01:40:49
didn't know and annie said that she had
01:40:50
a friend that would be super excited to
01:40:53
join because she was obsessed with
01:40:55
tabletop rpgs that was trish trish was
01:40:58
the only person who attended that i
01:41:00
didn't know which naturally made her
01:41:02
something of a wild card but being the
01:41:04
sociable person i was this didn't bother
01:41:06
me at all and when i first met her she
01:41:07
seemed fine she was lively and excitable
01:41:10
her and annie both did practical effects
01:41:12
design and she was artsy and
01:41:14
enthusiastic with a real twinkle in her
01:41:16
eye which i would realize all too late
01:41:18
wasn't a twinkle but the barely
01:41:19
perceptible electrical feedback which
01:41:21
indicated the short circuiting of sandy
01:41:24
wires in her brain i thought that she
01:41:26
would be a joy to have at the table
01:41:28
rolling dice with us if i had only known
01:41:30
the depth of the enemy love interest
01:41:32
complex she apparently had i might have
01:41:34
realized the rattling noise wasn't her
01:41:36
dice tower but the loose marbles run but
01:41:38
the loose marbles rattling around in her
01:41:40
skull so anyway from the very first
01:41:42
session the group was great and
01:41:44
everyone's characters were fun if a
01:41:46
little trophy this is why i didn't bat
01:41:48
an eyelid at trish playing that bard and
01:41:50
hitting on every npc we all had a good
01:41:53
laugh about it and i responded with npcs
01:41:55
flirting or not flirting in the exact
01:41:57
same manner as they would with dave's
01:41:59
character who often tried his luck to
01:42:01
all of our amusement with his minus one
01:42:04
to charisma checks thus i thought it was
01:42:06
all in good fun and so did everyone else
01:42:08
because no one could be insane enough to
01:42:11
think that imaginary characters
01:42:13
interacting automatically meant that the
01:42:15
dm wants to bone them right anyway
01:42:19
getting ahead of myself there there were
01:42:20
some red flags minor ones by the
01:42:22
standards of this sub to be sure these
01:42:25
included highlights such as trish being
01:42:27
a little bit obsessive about anime and
01:42:29
talked about her perfect man being an
01:42:31
exact description of some protagonist
01:42:33
from a particular anime the name i don't
01:42:35
remember and the way she described her
01:42:38
tabaxi complete with big innocent doe
01:42:41
eyes and playful curves and swaying hips
01:42:44
she also showed up wearing fox ears at
01:42:46
one point i thought she was just really
01:42:47
into the game and was playing into her
01:42:49
character which in a really disturbing
01:42:51
sort of way was right on the money she
01:42:53
also had a weird habit of maintaining
01:42:55
eye contact with me for an uncomfortably
01:42:57
long period of time but i with my in
01:42:59
real life dump stat in wisdom didn't put
01:43:02
it together that she might actually have
01:43:03
a crush on me in case where this story
01:43:06
is leading isn't horrifyingly obvious
01:43:08
enough i was enjoying the group and the
01:43:11
immersion everyone spent a lot of time
01:43:12
talking in character and really getting
01:43:14
into it including dave and annie who had
01:43:16
been a little bit hesitant about
01:43:18
role-playing in the first place trish
01:43:20
spent almost no time whatsoever talking
01:43:22
out of character another mild red flag
01:43:24
that i overlooked entirely but one that
01:43:26
stands out from the rest in this little
01:43:28
retrospective so this is where it begins
01:43:30
on that fateful night dave my roommate
01:43:32
was not present for this particular
01:43:34
session the night was dark and full of
01:43:36
fox eared discomfort it was an rp heavy
01:43:40
session the previous had a sizable
01:43:42
combat session with one of the villains
01:43:44
and a small side story arc that had been
01:43:46
completed so there was a lot of looting
01:43:48
paying off debts favors collecting
01:43:51
accolades drinking in bars being paraded
01:43:53
around on the shoulders of the liberated
01:43:54
village all the normal tropes this also
01:43:57
coincided with the end of our second
01:43:59
year exam period so we were in an irl
01:44:02
similar mood everyone was having a great
01:44:04
time in a low pressure session drinking
01:44:06
a decent amount both irl and in-game
01:44:09
everyone was smiling and having fun
01:44:12
trish's character decided that tonight
01:44:14
was the night to try and get it on with
01:44:16
the burly human bartender npc she had
01:44:19
been flirting with throughout the
01:44:20
campaign whenever they had been in this
01:44:22
town again i only picked this up in
01:44:24
retrospect but this was the npc who most
01:44:27
closely although not even that closely
01:44:30
resembled me in how i described them she
01:44:32
had singled this npc out repeatedly
01:44:35
anyway in the revelry of the villain's
01:44:36
defeat and this town celebration she
01:44:39
succeeded in her seduction role for this
01:44:41
poor bartender i made a joke about them
01:44:43
going off to have a very scratchy
01:44:46
session for which he will probably need
01:44:48
his back bandaged and attempted a fade
01:44:51
to black trish was having none of it
01:44:53
obviously she wanted to vicariously play
01:44:56
out this encounter between these two
01:44:58
abstractions in a display that would
01:44:59
have made sigmund freud himself make the
01:45:02
concerned tom face she interjected
01:45:05
describing how her characters waited for
01:45:08
him to go and get her drinks before
01:45:10
taking off all of her clothes and
01:45:12
changing into just one of his thin
01:45:14
shirts and waiting on his bed in a
01:45:16
seductive pose and began to purr okay a
01:45:19
little too much detail and she has a
01:45:21
creepy look in her eyes while she
01:45:22
describes it but fine she had a couple
01:45:25
of drinks and is a bit too into it i
01:45:26
once again try with and he sees you he
01:45:29
shuts the door behind himself with the
01:45:31
smile anyway back in the bar clumper
01:45:34
dunk is in the midst of his absurd
01:45:35
levitating tanker's performance when
01:45:37
trish again interjects pouting a little
01:45:40
this time she describes how her
01:45:42
character stares into his green eyes my
01:45:45
eyes are green the npc was described
01:45:48
having blue eyes and runs her clawed
01:45:50
fingers through his brown hair again you
01:45:52
guess it matches with my description not
01:45:54
the npc she is now positively leering in
01:45:57
me like i'm a cartoon steak rich catches
01:46:00
on to this and looks as uncomfortable as
01:46:02
i feel annie is giggling i assume this
01:46:05
is just nervous laughter but not so i
01:46:08
quite firmly cut to black this time but
01:46:10
trish looks oddly satisfied and spends
01:46:13
the rest of the session which lasts less
01:46:15
than a half an hour just staring at me
01:46:17
and exchanging looks with annie at the
01:46:19
end of the session i'm sat with three of
01:46:21
them finishing the drinks before they
01:46:24
all head home and trish asks to use the
01:46:26
bathroom and excuses herself annie then
01:46:28
gets up and declares that she's going
01:46:30
home and asks if poor innocent bystander
01:46:33
rich will walk her across campus they
01:46:35
abruptly leave i wait for trish to come
01:46:37
out of my bathroom for five minutes at
01:46:40
this point i'm like if she's taking a
01:46:42
dump in there that's such an absolute
01:46:44
piss take just wait until you get home
01:46:46
so i walk into my room preparing to
01:46:48
knock on the bathroom door and what do i
01:46:51
see there is a pile of her clothes and
01:46:53
underwear at the foot of my bed and her
01:46:56
sole items of clothing are one of my
01:46:59
t-shirts and her fox ears lying in what
01:47:02
she apparently thought was a seductive
01:47:04
pose if the only time you ever heard the
01:47:06
word seduction was in japanese and the
01:47:08
sentence ended with senpai and as if
01:47:10
this scene wasn't absurd and insane
01:47:11
enough she also pursed me before giving
01:47:14
me this look which basically amounted to
01:47:16
her stuffing as much of her bottom lip
01:47:18
under her teeth as is reasonably
01:47:20
possible in what appeared to be an
01:47:21
attempt to devour her own chin and
01:47:23
blinking rapidly like she was trying to
01:47:25
convey some morse code now trish isn't
01:47:28
unattractive by any means even in the
01:47:30
midst of a mating ritual considerably
01:47:32
more bizarre than anything i've ever
01:47:33
heard sir david attenborough and erie
01:47:36
but i am absolutely not into her
01:47:38
whatsoever i do not see her that way and
01:47:40
honestly i find her a bit weird this
01:47:42
should be a good enough reason on its
01:47:43
own but what takes us from just
01:47:45
uncomfortable to awkward and shockingly
01:47:47
inappropriate at this time is that i had
01:47:49
a girlfriend which she and everyone else
01:47:51
at the table knew at this point i'm
01:47:53
standing in the doorway probably looking
01:47:55
like i've seen a ghost and my brain has
01:47:57
turned to mush trying to decipher the
01:47:59
incomprehensible spectacle unfolding
01:48:01
before my eyes she then stops eating her
01:48:04
chin and says if you want your t-shirt
01:48:06
back you're gonna have to take it off of
01:48:08
me i am now legitimately pissed off with
01:48:10
her for this level of inappropriate
01:48:12
behavior i tell her as calmly as
01:48:14
possible that she can keep the t-shirt
01:48:15
but she needs to leave she scowls at me
01:48:18
and i truly wish i was joking she hisses
01:48:20
at me like a cat despite how deeply
01:48:23
uncomfortable and annoyed i am it is an
01:48:25
act of sheer abject absurdity that i
01:48:27
cannot help but burst out laughing she
01:48:29
immediately loses her composure grabs
01:48:32
her clothes in a bundle and runs outside
01:48:34
my flat just in my t-shirt not even
01:48:36
stopping to put on underwear screaming
01:48:38
at me the whole way apparently either
01:48:40
annie or rich has forgotten something so
01:48:41
they're about a hundred meters away
01:48:43
walking back towards the fly they and
01:48:45
everyone else around see two-thirds of a
01:48:47
naked cat fox woman throwing a hyper
01:48:49
tantrum over getting rejected creating
01:48:51
an utter spectacle in the squad which is
01:48:53
overlooked by several blocks of halls
01:48:55
not to mention other students who happen
01:48:56
to just be outside i would have been
01:48:58
mortified if i wasn't too busy being
01:48:59
somewhere between utter speechless to
01:49:02
leave and repressed uncontrolled mirth
01:49:04
andy runs over and throws her coat over
01:49:06
the hysterically crying trish and then
01:49:08
starts berating me herself calling me
01:49:10
selfish and ungrateful and telling me
01:49:12
how trish is better for me than my then
01:49:13
girlfriend i'm in utter shock and
01:49:15
disbelief at this point this is totally
01:49:16
out of character for annie not knowing
01:49:18
what to do in the midst of this bizarre
01:49:19
mutually humiliating meltdown i just
01:49:21
give an apologetic wave and grimace to
01:49:23
rich go inside and close the door i call
01:49:25
dave and fill him in on what just
01:49:27
happened he's baffled shocked and as
01:49:29
angry as i am especially after describe
01:49:31
andy's reaction he calls her and demands
01:49:33
to know what's going on as it turns out
01:49:35
trish and annie had concocted the events
01:49:37
of the evening together and he had
01:49:38
informed trish that dave would not be
01:49:40
present making it a good night to make
01:49:42
her move and trish had apparently
01:49:43
described the rest of her
01:49:44
cringe-inducing misguided plan this is
01:49:47
also why annie was giggling at trish's
01:49:49
in-character shenanigans earlier in the
01:49:50
night and why she so abruptly convinced
01:49:52
rich to leave with her when trish had
01:49:54
asked to use my bathroom this it seems
01:49:57
was the signal dave called me almost two
01:49:59
hours later which was 4am at this point
01:50:01
and said that he had a huge argument in
01:50:03
a shouting match with andy over the
01:50:05
phone and that they had broken up i
01:50:06
received a text from rich the next day
01:50:08
saying he didn't want to play with this
01:50:10
anymore because he couldn't handle the
01:50:11
drama although i explained to him that
01:50:13
trish would absolutely not be there
01:50:14
again i couldn't really begrudge his
01:50:16
decision to leave with such a sour taste
01:50:18
in his mouth i blocked trish's number
01:50:20
almost immediately after she left and
01:50:22
the only correspondence i had with annie
01:50:24
was a text from her that just said the c
01:50:26
word before i blocked her too dave and i
01:50:28
never played dungeons and dragons
01:50:30
together again though we're still
01:50:32
friends to this day so who was the
01:50:34
biggest jerk in this whole scenario it
01:50:37
seems pretty unreal that she would go
01:50:38
through all the trouble of making up
01:50:40
this fictional character in game in a
01:50:42
game of dungeons and dragons and then
01:50:44
try and act out the scene she's about to
01:50:45
act out all when they knew he already
01:50:48
had a girlfriend that's the craziest
01:50:51
part you will follow this effort into
01:50:52
that knowing that that was the case i
01:50:54
mean what did she expect him to do just
01:50:56
to be in that situation where she's on
01:50:57
the bed and then suddenly just go ah
01:50:59
okay i don't care that i have a
01:51:00
girlfriend let's just do this i mean
01:51:02
it's not like he was telling her that he
01:51:04
liked her was giving her some sort of
01:51:06
special treatment where maybe she could
01:51:08
misconstrue something or maybe she
01:51:10
didn't know that he had a girlfriend she
01:51:12
obviously knew all that stuff and had no
01:51:14
signs of anything being otherwise but
01:51:16
still went through all in this entire
01:51:17
plan and then was very very hurt and
01:51:20
upset when it didn't work out the way
01:51:21
she thought it was going to when she had
01:51:23
to run out naked into the middle of this
01:51:25
campus maybe annie is the bigger jerk in
01:51:28
this situation because trish had to have
01:51:31
asked somebody do you think that he
01:51:33
would be okay with this you think that
01:51:34
he would do this i mean and who else
01:51:36
would really tell her one way or another
01:51:38
besides annie so maybe it was annie that
01:51:40
told her yeah he'll be fine he'll do it
01:51:42
he's just a frat bro so he'll do it no
01:51:44
matter what and then this whole
01:51:45
situation unfolded and if that's the
01:51:48
case andy is the one that has a
01:51:49
relationship so imagine if she was
01:51:51
picturing dave her boyfriend in this
01:51:53
situation does she think that dave would
01:51:55
do it even though she was with him seems
01:51:57
a little bit hypocritical if that
01:51:59
actually is the case but let me know
01:52:01
what you would do if you're in this
01:52:02
situation and who is the biggest jerk
01:52:04
here don't forget to drop a thumbs up
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submit your own stories to be featured
01:52:11
here on the channel check out the link
01:52:12
down below in the description i found
01:52:15
the group chat where my friends were
01:52:16
talking about trying to sleep with me
01:52:19
first off for the longest time i was the
01:52:21
only girl in a party of seven for our
01:52:23
dungeons and dragons game although this
01:52:25
isn't as dramatic or as awful as other
01:52:27
stories it still makes me so angry when
01:52:30
i think about it about three years ago i
01:52:31
made a post on instagram offering to
01:52:34
dungeon master 5th edition for anyone
01:52:36
that was interested because my previous
01:52:38
party had split up after leaving for
01:52:40
college i was quickly approached by an
01:52:42
old high school friend jack who said he
01:52:45
had a group gathered i was welcome to
01:52:47
come and meet everyone and decide if we
01:52:48
all got on well jack was very sweet in
01:52:51
high school so i agreed and we all met
01:52:53
at his flight that weekend to play a few
01:52:55
non-dungeons and dragons related games
01:52:57
together and get pizza after a few hours
01:53:00
we started talking about character ideas
01:53:02
rules etc i suggested we talk about our
01:53:05
boundaries in-game so everyone knew what
01:53:07
we were getting into i'm a relaxed
01:53:09
dungeon master i don't mind if a player
01:53:11
decides they want to sleep with the bar
01:53:13
maids as long as it doesn't mess with
01:53:14
the game the only thing i said i would
01:53:16
not do period was the r word everything
01:53:19
else is at the discretion of everyone
01:53:21
this is important to know fast forward
01:53:24
to actually playing i'm not sure if
01:53:25
other people have done this before but i
01:53:27
ran the death house of curse for stride
01:53:30
for about four sessions till everyone
01:53:32
was comfortable playing together then
01:53:34
home brewed a campaign from that the
01:53:36
guys were all pretty great up until this
01:53:37
point however one of them we'll call him
01:53:39
mike began to make a few awkward
01:53:41
comments to me mike decided to play bard
01:53:44
and took my i don't care if you hook up
01:53:45
with npcs very seriously he tried to
01:53:48
sleep with every single female in the
01:53:52
game it got to the point where i had to
01:53:54
speak with him out of the game and he
01:53:56
got very passive aggressive by telling
01:53:58
me i had already said it was okay
01:53:59
despite this he did calm down a bit and
01:54:01
we continued playing after a few
01:54:03
sessions later mike tries to r-word a
01:54:07
female orc while she's restrained and
01:54:09
unconscious as the party was elsewhere
01:54:12
i'm not even sure of his motive here but
01:54:14
he tried to make his explanations of his
01:54:16
actions vague enough that they weren't
01:54:18
specifically the r ward but obviously
01:54:21
they were anyway i stopped the game
01:54:23
immediately and told him if he didn't
01:54:25
quit it he was out for the rest of the
01:54:27
session he laughed with his buddies but
01:54:30
then stopped later that night he sent me
01:54:32
a hand-drawn picture of an orc clearly
01:54:34
modeled after myself with his character
01:54:37
grabbing her boobs i told him that was
01:54:40
inappropriate and he wasn't welcome at
01:54:42
the next session the next day he called
01:54:44
me in tears saying he was really sorry
01:54:46
and had drank way too much the night
01:54:48
before he also admitted that he had a
01:54:50
crush on me but didn't know how to
01:54:51
convey that i politely told him i was
01:54:53
flattered but not interested and i led
01:54:56
him back into the party the rest of the
01:54:58
party had been trying to convince me to
01:54:59
let him back into the game because he
01:55:01
hadn't done that much wrong anyway yes
01:55:04
i'm an idiot apart from that event i had
01:55:07
been having fun with that campaign mike
01:55:09
is no longer a d-bag at that session
01:55:11
he's quiet and one of the guys tells me
01:55:13
that i embarrassed him now he's
01:55:15
struggling to connect not my problem
01:55:17
fast forward a few more weeks and things
01:55:19
are getting weird again two more members
01:55:22
of the party have attempted asking me
01:55:23
out on dates i once again politely
01:55:26
decline and carry on the sessions are
01:55:28
now a little bit awkward for me because
01:55:30
all the guys are flirting with pretty
01:55:31
much every single female npc i place
01:55:34
into the game slowly but surely within a
01:55:36
week another guy confesses his love to
01:55:38
me i'm no longer enjoying the session so
01:55:41
i plan on finishing up one story branch
01:55:43
and then calling it a day with that
01:55:44
campaign and then leaving not even a day
01:55:46
later jack sends me about 20 screenshots
01:55:50
from a private group chat of the boys
01:55:52
they literally had bets on who could
01:55:55
sleep with me first the entire group
01:55:57
chat was discussing ways they could
01:55:59
flirt or seduce me a few screenshots of
01:56:02
my own conversations between them it was
01:56:04
so awful to look at because i thought
01:56:06
these guys had actually been enjoying my
01:56:08
sessions but i was basically just there
01:56:10
as a game myself jack told me he was
01:56:13
incredibly sorry he hadn't said anything
01:56:15
sooner and that he was about to pull out
01:56:17
of the campaign because of them i told
01:56:19
the party over discord that i knew what
01:56:20
was going on and that i was disgusted
01:56:23
and i would not be their dungeon master
01:56:25
again i think i added in that none of
01:56:27
them were even close enough to being
01:56:29
physically attractive to me and then i
01:56:31
left it's been a while since that
01:56:33
happened but i still haven't heard from
01:56:35
any of those guys again was i the jerk
01:56:37
one of the best suggestions was somebody
01:56:39
saying you missed out on a potential
01:56:41
science experiment op you could have
01:56:42
just slowly phased out every female npc
01:56:45
in the campaign to see just how far
01:56:47
they'd be willing to take their weird
01:56:49
flirting by proxy behavior cut to
01:56:51
introducing a genderless blob with no
01:56:53
discerning features and the party says
01:56:56
you come here often someone actually had
01:56:57
an experience sort of close to this
01:56:59
where they say you joke but i once
01:57:01
played with a guy who claimed he was
01:57:03
tricked into having his character date a
01:57:05
male character because he had a crush on
01:57:07
the girl playing that character and
01:57:09
missed all the times everyone else
01:57:11
referred to that character as a male the
01:57:13
player on the other hand totally knew
01:57:14
what was going on and wanted to see how
01:57:16
far he'd take it but anyway about the
01:57:18
original ops story this whole thing is
01:57:20
pretty sad because all she wanted to do
01:57:22
was have a legitimately fun game of
01:57:24
dungeons and dragons and it sounds like
01:57:26
nobody else really had that same
01:57:28
intention from the very start from how
01:57:30
far back these group chats go so
01:57:33
hopefully she is able to find a group of
01:57:35
people that actually do want to play the
01:57:36
game and not just mess with her head but
01:57:38
let me know what you would do if you're
01:57:39
in this situation and who was the
01:57:41
biggest jerk here how a new player
01:57:43
ruined my campaign and became my fiancee
01:57:47
so i met this girl at pride and we had
01:57:49
spent the day together i don't like
01:57:51
being alone in crowds because of a
01:57:52
medical condition that i have so i
01:57:54
figured i tag along with her and she was
01:57:56
pretty cool so i invited her to hang out
01:57:58
with me and my friends playing dungeons
01:58:00
and dragons we get to her first session
01:58:02
with the group about two weeks later and
01:58:03
she shows up in a very revealing outfit
01:58:07
that includes a fairly translucent top i
01:58:10
should mention that i was 14 years old
01:58:12
and the rest of the group ranged from 13
01:58:14
years old to 19. she was 16 and this
01:58:16
took place in england the dungeon master
01:58:19
won't stop staring at her boobs as the
01:58:21
game goes on and the rest of the party
01:58:24
in character is extra friendly to new
01:58:26
girl characters a half elf cleric who
01:58:29
worshipped the god of redemption and
01:58:31
could only speak when spoken to her
01:58:33
character was actually super cool and
01:58:35
she played it pretty well as a sacrifice
01:58:38
she chose to make and not magically be
01:58:40
forced upon her there were times when
01:58:42
she broke her silence and would be
01:58:45
highly self-critical and attempt to
01:58:47
right the wrong she had done all because
01:58:49
her character had been a corrupt noble's
01:58:51
daughter who used lies and deceit to get
01:58:54
rid of her family's enemies so her
01:58:55
silence was her way of atoning for her
01:58:57
sins but every session slowly devolved
01:59:00
into the dungeon master rewarding her
01:59:03
and making sure she couldn't fail to the
01:59:05
point everyone else felt useless
01:59:08
eventually she tells the dungeon master
01:59:10
that it's ruining the game after she
01:59:12
rolled a nat 1 on a charisma save and
01:59:14
still manage to succeed to save against
01:59:17
the bbeg using dominant person to remove
01:59:21
her from the fight as a healer the
01:59:23
dungeon master argued about it saying he
01:59:25
didn't want to punish a new player too
01:59:27
harshly and she reminded him that it's
01:59:29
been four months at this point other
01:59:31
players brought forth their grievances
01:59:33
of their characters being sidelined for
01:59:35
her and how we all thought he was just
01:59:37
trying to be weirdly flirty with her the
01:59:40
dungeon master admits to being attracted
01:59:42
to her and that he may
01:59:44
have gone a little too far by favoring
01:59:46
her too much to which her response was
01:59:49
i'm gay honestly i only joined the
01:59:51
campaign because i had a crush on op but
01:59:54
it was fun so i stayed we all took a
01:59:56
hiatus and she called me asking if i
01:59:59
still wanted to be friends and that she
02:00:00
didn't want her crush on me to end our
02:00:02
friendship i told her we were good and
02:00:04
that i didn't quite know how i felt
02:00:06
about her well fast forward five years
02:00:09
and we're now engaged so this one was
02:00:12
actually more of a wholesome rpg story
02:00:14
rather than a horror rpg story where
02:00:16
this originally came from and there were
02:00:18
a bunch of little clever one-liners that
02:00:20
people said in response to this the very
02:00:22
top of which was task filled
02:00:24
successfully critical success on a nat
02:00:27
one obviously referencing what had
02:00:29
happened in the game turns out her nat
02:00:32
one on charisma was actually nat 20 in
02:00:34
your heart it seems like in a lot of
02:00:36
these dungeons and dragon stories
02:00:37
somehow there always seems to be a hint
02:00:40
of a romantic thing where somebody's
02:00:42
trying to be romantic with somebody else
02:00:44
and the other person doesn't want it i
02:00:45
don't know how common that actually is
02:00:46
but so far we've seen a good amount of
02:00:49
those as being one of them but this is
02:00:50
more of like a strange love triangle
02:00:52
where the dungeon master is into this
02:00:54
girl but the girl is into the op and the
02:00:57
concept of her character actually did
02:00:58
sound pretty cool i was curious about
02:01:00
where that came from if she made it up
02:01:01
herself or came from something else
02:01:03
altogether but let me know what you
02:01:05
would do if you were in this situation
02:01:07
and jerk or not a jerk a player just
02:01:09
screeched and quit the session because i
02:01:12
wouldn't let her be impregnated by imps
02:01:14
so this person and i have not known each
02:01:17
other long this was our third dungeons
02:01:19
and dragon session as a group in the
02:01:21
first session her character was mildly
02:01:23
grating because it was an obvious anime
02:01:24
girl self-insert but she wasn't really
02:01:27
disruptive so i didn't really care she
02:01:29
got annoying when she tried to convince
02:01:30
the party not to kill their foes but
02:01:33
they ignored her and killed them anyway
02:01:35
causing her to screech and wail but
02:01:38
pacifist characters aren't anything new
02:01:40
so we moved on in the second session i'm
02:01:43
really sick like i might have to go to
02:01:44
the hospital sick so i call my friend
02:01:47
tell her the plot and set up give her my
02:01:49
notes and tools and she dms it
02:01:51
everything goes apparently fine but when
02:01:53
i come back the rest of the party is
02:01:55
level two and our problem player is
02:01:58
level six sporting 50 gold what between
02:02:02
sessions one and two she made up some
02:02:04
story about coming across a treasure
02:02:06
chest of gold and an artifact that made
02:02:08
her stronger each time she lost and told
02:02:11
the other dm and the group that i okayed
02:02:13
it i did not i never spoke to her about
02:02:16
this even for a second so we get into an
02:02:18
argument and i tell her to roll her
02:02:20
character back to level 2 and lose all
02:02:22
her gold the rest of the party had a
02:02:24
collective 2 gold she tried to blame me
02:02:26
for not being here eventually when i
02:02:28
told her she was kicked out she
02:02:30
apologized it was fake but whatever and
02:02:32
i told her that it was her last straw
02:02:34
and that if she caused an issue again
02:02:35
she would be barred from returning
02:02:37
session three happened and we came
02:02:39
across a fortress they needed to search
02:02:41
and they split up when she came across
02:02:43
imps she intentionally threw combat and
02:02:45
said that her clothes fell off as she
02:02:48
was defeated and that the imps would
02:02:50
probably try and impregnate her i'm
02:02:52
sorry what i immediately told her no
02:02:55
that was ridiculous and i'm not gonna
02:02:56
let her character get pregnant
02:02:58
especially from some random monsters she
02:03:01
tried to fight me on it saying it was
02:03:03
her character and part of her plot for
02:03:05
her and that she could give birth
02:03:07
instantly so she didn't have to fight
02:03:08
while pregnant i just kept telling her
02:03:10
absolutely not that the amps would
02:03:12
probably just try to steal her valuables
02:03:14
and leave she wouldn't take no for an
02:03:16
answer and kept screaming until i told
02:03:18
her she was not allowed back then she
02:03:21
said she'd go and make her own session
02:03:22
in that case fine have fun i bet you can
02:03:25
get all the free gold levels and
02:03:27
impregnation you desire in your fantasy
02:03:30
land i just never want to see you here
02:03:32
again was i the jerk so this girl
02:03:34
obviously had her own idea what you
02:03:36
wanted to get out of this dungeon dragon
02:03:38
session because it wasn't just this
02:03:39
specific time it seems like that's kind
02:03:41
of the theme throughout this but the
02:03:43
fact that she was so adamant in being
02:03:45
impregnated by imps i mean she's not the
02:03:48
one directing the story as the
02:03:51
non-dungeon master she's just a player
02:03:52
there but she's demanding that the
02:03:54
dungeon master do what she wants to have
02:03:57
happen to her which doesn't even make
02:03:59
sense and the whole thing between
02:04:01
sessions one and two she's just gonna
02:04:03
tell everyone oh in between i got 50
02:04:05
gold and i leveled up four levels above
02:04:07
everyone else i don't know how she
02:04:09
thought that part would fly even without
02:04:11
the whole impregnation part of it which
02:04:13
is just so weird i mean it would be one
02:04:16
thing if during their session zero they
02:04:18
talked about what they wanted in this
02:04:20
whole campaign but this seems like it
02:04:22
was kind of a surprise for the dungeon
02:04:23
master here because it was totally out
02:04:25
of left field and he didn't really know
02:04:26
what to expect and then when he said no
02:04:29
she was not happy about it but let me
02:04:31
know what you do if you were in this
02:04:32
situation and jerk or not a jerk and why
02:04:35
the dungeon master tells us he won't be
02:04:37
dming right at the beginning of the
02:04:39
first session i'm a member of a discord
02:04:41
server that allows users to advertise
02:04:43
their campaigns one day someone posted
02:04:45
an invite to their game i had no
02:04:47
information about this campaign only the
02:04:49
dm's name and the time which is really
02:04:51
unprofessional but whatever i pm him and
02:04:53
started asking some questions but i only
02:04:55
get i'm gonna tell you when the campaign
02:04:57
starts a major red flag one would say
02:05:00
but it's not like i'm doing anything
02:05:01
else so i went along two days pass me
02:05:04
four other people in the dm gather on a
02:05:06
specially created server the dm finally
02:05:08
arrives 10 minutes late spends another
02:05:10
10 minutes trying to set up a dice bot
02:05:12
finally everyone is ready to play bought
02:05:14
up and running character sheet ready and
02:05:16
then the dm says so who wants to be the
02:05:20
dungeon master we of course instantly
02:05:22
remind him that he's the one dming this
02:05:26
as he advertised it in the announcement
02:05:28
which he replied by saying i only said
02:05:30
that in the announcement because no one
02:05:31
would join my game if i didn't have a
02:05:33
dungeon master then everyone left what
02:05:36
was even the point here i mean he didn't
02:05:38
get to play a game before and now he
02:05:39
doesn't get to play game at this point
02:05:41
so either way he doesn't get to play
02:05:42
someone said that this reminds me of
02:05:44
world of warcraft when you could queue
02:05:46
as a tank for a dungeon and then change
02:05:47
your specialization once you arrived
02:05:49
everyone was then stuck with either
02:05:52
hoping someone else would change to a
02:05:54
tank or taking the dungeon lever penalty
02:05:56
it is interesting that people are
02:05:57
willing to start campaigns with people
02:06:00
that they don't know anything about at
02:06:01
all not their mutual friend not through
02:06:03
somebody that they've heard of but just
02:06:05
totally random in this discord server i
02:06:08
wonder how often this actually happens
02:06:10
and then how often this the whole fake
02:06:13
out dungeon master thing happens on top
02:06:14
of that if you've ever had an experience
02:06:16
like this let me know down below and
02:06:18
feel free to submit any of your stories
02:06:20
via the link in the description if you
02:06:21
enjoyed the video drop a thumbs up and
02:06:23
subscribe with notifications on and
02:06:25
we'll see you next time in this episode
02:06:27
of entitled people a crazy lady accuses
02:06:31
me of kidnapping my stepson and then
02:06:34
tries to kidnap him from me so the back
02:06:37
story is i'm a mixed ethnicity
02:06:39
individual i've been confused for many
02:06:41
races over my 29 years on this earth but
02:06:44
i'm literally caucasian and african
02:06:46
american usually can be figured out but
02:06:49
the difference with me is that my father
02:06:50
is caucasian therefore my hair is
02:06:53
straight i'm originally from texas and
02:06:55
i'm usually confused for being mexican
02:06:57
but now i live in massachusetts and i've
02:06:59
never had to deal with anyone concerning
02:07:01
my race until this day also i'm married
02:07:04
to a caucasian woman who had a child
02:07:06
before we married his father is not in
02:07:09
his life as much and i took the
02:07:11
responsibility because i love this woman
02:07:13
and i love this little boy as if he were
02:07:14
my own he's four years old now and i've
02:07:16
been in his life since he was one years
02:07:18
old anyways on to the story my wife
02:07:20
needed a few things from the grocery
02:07:22
store and she needed to run a few more
02:07:24
errands and usually she just goes and
02:07:26
knocks things out herself because i'm
02:07:28
asleep i work nights but this particular
02:07:30
day i happened to be awake and i offered
02:07:32
to go for her she works hard and does a
02:07:34
lot so i definitely felt it was
02:07:36
necessary to do something for her so she
02:07:38
could just relax for the day i took my
02:07:40
son with me so she could rest up and
02:07:42
just take it easy and it gave me some
02:07:44
time to spend with my son for some
02:07:46
bonding we completed all the errands
02:07:47
which went smoothly and then headed to
02:07:50
the grocery store to finish up our day
02:07:52
my son being a typical 4 year old was
02:07:54
full of energy running ahead of me
02:07:56
laughing and speaking to everyone he
02:07:58
comes across which i generally don't
02:07:59
mind as long as he doesn't hit anyone
02:08:01
and stays within eye view as i'm making
02:08:04
my way down an aisle looking for canned
02:08:05
corn my son jogs to the end of it when
02:08:08
an older lady is entering at the other
02:08:10
end my son being the sweet social
02:08:12
butterfly he is approached and exclaims
02:08:15
and excited hi me four and me ryan bless
02:08:19
his little heart the lady looked down
02:08:21
and says why hello there you shouldn't
02:08:23
be running around unattended let's go
02:08:26
find your parents i didn't think
02:08:27
anything of her statement because i
02:08:29
assumed she just hadn't seen me ryan
02:08:31
come back here bud please he excitedly
02:08:34
runs back toward me and starts turning
02:08:36
in circles because you know he's four
02:08:38
i'm still searching the shelves as the
02:08:40
lady walks past me and stops behind me
02:08:43
again i think nothing of it because it's
02:08:45
a grocery store and you have to share
02:08:47
the aisles i turn my basket around and
02:08:49
start to walk toward the front cash
02:08:50
registers when this lady literally
02:08:52
blocks my path i say excuse me and try
02:08:54
to walk around her and she moves her car
02:08:56
in front of me again i honestly thought
02:08:58
she was just getting confused and said
02:09:00
excuse me once again and tried one more
02:09:02
time to go around and she just blocks my
02:09:04
path the following conversation ensues
02:09:07
me um sorry about that we'll get out of
02:09:09
your way the lady oh i don't think so
02:09:11
you're not going anywhere with that
02:09:13
child me you mean my son the lady that's
02:09:16
not your child he's white and you're
02:09:18
mexican you probably didn't even know
02:09:20
his name until he said it to me me sure
02:09:22
whatever lady can you just move my wife
02:09:24
is at home and she's anxiously waiting
02:09:25
for us lady stop your lies you're not
02:09:28
taking him anywhere you pervert this
02:09:29
whole time my son is standing close to
02:09:31
me holding my leg because he was
02:09:34
honestly getting scared i was getting
02:09:36
angry because i didn't have much sleep
02:09:37
and i have a short fuse anyway me as you
02:09:40
can see he's standing close to me
02:09:42
because he trusts me and you're scaring
02:09:45
him so how about you buzz off the lady
02:09:48
no he's scared because of you he just
02:09:50
doesn't know how to express it yet she
02:09:51
looks at my son come on now sweetie i'm
02:09:54
here to rescue you come with me
02:09:56
thankfully my son was able to
02:09:57
communicate to her that he wasn't going
02:09:59
anywhere with her but she was having
02:10:01
none of it she literally grabbed my son
02:10:04
and began to run it caught me off guard
02:10:06
because i honestly could not fathom what
02:10:08
was actually happening my son just
02:10:10
starts screaming loudly because he was
02:10:12
so scared and this lady is just like
02:10:14
don't worry sweetie he won't hurt you i
02:10:17
promise suddenly i snap back into
02:10:19
reality and i begin to chase after this
02:10:21
crazy witch while running through the
02:10:23
store i yell for people to stop her and
02:10:25
that she's kidnapping my son and
02:10:27
thankfully a worker stops her before she
02:10:29
makes the exit lady why are you stopping
02:10:31
me this mexican here is trying to kidnap
02:10:34
my grandson my son is literally bawling
02:10:36
his eyes out extending his arms out
02:10:38
calling for me this lady was relentless
02:10:40
and would not let go until my son even
02:10:43
after he slaps her face multiple times i
02:10:46
laughed a little not gonna lie at this
02:10:48
point a manager shows up and asks what's
02:10:49
going on the ladies spoke before me lady
02:10:52
this pointing at me pervert is trying to
02:10:55
kidnap my grandson and i was just trying
02:10:57
to escape me that's my son you psycho
02:11:00
now let him go the manager didn't know
02:11:02
what to believe i don't blame him he was
02:11:04
caught in a weird situation so i pulled
02:11:06
on my phone and showed him pictures of
02:11:08
me and my son that dated back a year ago
02:11:10
as proof this lady still would not give
02:11:12
up and accuse me of faking the photos
02:11:15
like how would you do that exactly i'll
02:11:16
never know but whatever sadly there were
02:11:18
only two other ladies there taking the
02:11:21
psycho side and saying that i was
02:11:22
attempting to kidnap my own son because
02:11:24
there was no way we were a family
02:11:26
because of our different skin tones one
02:11:28
even called the police which i was
02:11:30
actually happy about because i knew
02:11:32
they'd be able to review the security
02:11:33
cameras even still i called my wife to
02:11:35
see if she would come to the store to
02:11:37
get the situation cleared up quicker as
02:11:38
i told her what was going on she zoomed
02:11:40
to the store she got there about the
02:11:42
same time as the police the crazy ladies
02:11:44
were giving their statements to the cops
02:11:45
when my wife walked up as soon as she
02:11:47
walked in my son goes mama help my wife
02:11:50
is a true mama bear and she immediately
02:11:51
flew into a rage when she saw this lady
02:11:54
holding my son wife let him go now
02:11:57
lady sorry sweetie i was just trying to
02:11:59
protect him from this pervert over here
02:12:02
lady number two yeah we saw him trying
02:12:04
to kidnap him but this lady saved him
02:12:06
the cop looks at the lady and is
02:12:08
confused officer i thought this was your
02:12:10
grandson wife i have no idea who that
02:12:14
lady is she takes out her phone and
02:12:15
shows the officer a picture of my
02:12:17
mother-in-law lady okay i'm sorry he's
02:12:19
not my grandson but i was only trying to
02:12:21
protect him from this dirty pervert over
02:12:23
here lady number two yeah i witnessed
02:12:25
the whole thing he snatched that child
02:12:27
and tried to run away with him but this
02:12:28
lady stopped him lady number three yes i
02:12:31
saw it too he needs to be arrested and
02:12:34
you appointing my wife should be
02:12:36
thankful that this lady was here to save
02:12:38
your son because you obviously just let
02:12:41
him loose forever wife who are you
02:12:44
talking about again all three crazy
02:12:46
ladies pointed at me wife oh you mean my
02:12:49
husband lady one husband wife yeah who
02:12:52
do you think called me and got me here
02:12:54
so fast i presented my id to the officer
02:12:56
and the manager and my wife did the same
02:12:58
we also each showed pictures of us on
02:13:00
our phones to prove that we really are a
02:13:02
family the cop nodded an approval and
02:13:04
handed us our phones back and jotted
02:13:05
down a few notes the three ladies for
02:13:07
some reason still kept trying to say
02:13:09
that this was all fake and my wife was
02:13:11
in on the kidnapping and then we needed
02:13:12
to be arrested my wife lost it at this
02:13:14
point and let off some colorful words i
02:13:16
won't repeat them here but she
02:13:18
definitely got her point across the nail
02:13:19
on the coffin came from the psycho trio
02:13:22
the officer turned to the manager and
02:13:23
asked sir do the cameras work in here
02:13:25
manager yes we have them inside and now
02:13:29
officer okay let's go review the three
02:13:32
ladies faces went pale like ghostly pale
02:13:36
the officer reviewed the outside camera
02:13:38
as i pulled into the parking lot and saw
02:13:39
me take my son out of my car and then as
02:13:43
i went up and down the aisles and most
02:13:44
importantly the instance the woman
02:13:46
snatched my son and began to run upon
02:13:49
his return he asks would you like to
02:13:51
press charges lady one says yes i would
02:13:55
the officer says why would i be asking
02:13:57
you that question shut your mouth and
02:13:59
sit down he turns to me and repeats the
02:14:01
question and i say absolutely lady one
02:14:05
was charged with attempted kidnapping
02:14:07
false imprisonment providing a false
02:14:09
police report and child endangerment the
02:14:11
other two ladies were also charged with
02:14:13
providing a false police report as well
02:14:15
to make matters worse for lady one my
02:14:17
son bruises easily and she left some
02:14:19
terrible spots on him from where she was
02:14:22
grasping him but he's fine this added a
02:14:24
charge of child abuse to her rap sheet i
02:14:27
have court later this year but i'm not
02:14:28
sure when because of the pandemic the
02:14:30
officer will be following up with me in
02:14:32
a few weeks so who here is the biggest
02:14:35
jerk first off how does lady number one
02:14:38
not realize that that kid was with his
02:14:40
dad and was trying to get back to his
02:14:42
dad when she was taking him away and he
02:14:45
was hitting her in the face telling her
02:14:46
that he wanted to go to his dad that
02:14:48
alone should have made it obvious but
02:14:49
before that even happened at all what
02:14:51
should have happened if she was really
02:14:53
that concerned for some reason which i
02:14:55
don't really know why she would be
02:14:56
because the kid wasn't in distress or
02:14:57
anything weird she could just go up to
02:14:59
the kid and ask him is that your dad but
02:15:02
it seems like because she thought the
02:15:04
dad was mexican looking that it was so
02:15:06
far out of the question so far out of
02:15:08
the reality to be a possibility that she
02:15:10
didn't even consider that at all and her
02:15:12
other two friends lady two and three are
02:15:14
just her little cheerleaders in the
02:15:16
background trying to support whatever
02:15:17
she's doing without really even knowing
02:15:19
what's going on either and the fact that
02:15:20
he's pressing charges these sound like
02:15:23
very serious charges to press on someone
02:15:26
attempted kidnapping false imprisonment
02:15:29
providing a false police report and
02:15:30
child endangerment among the other ones
02:15:32
that you got later on that's pretty
02:15:34
heavy so let me know what you would do
02:15:36
if you were in this situation and who do
02:15:38
you think is the jerk my mom asked an
02:15:41
entitled mother to let go of my hair she
02:15:44
refused and got her life ruined when i
02:15:46
was a kid i never cut my hair no matter
02:15:49
what so i had very long pretty dirty
02:15:52
blonde hair and as a kid a lot of people
02:15:54
would ask to touch it and i was fine
02:15:56
with it as long as they had my
02:15:57
permission so when i was six years old
02:15:59
my mom took me to a grocery store to buy
02:16:01
some things for dinner that night we got
02:16:03
to the store and my mom got the stuff
02:16:04
she needed but was missing the bread
02:16:07
from the other side of the store she
02:16:08
sent me to go get it since i was small
02:16:10
and fast when i got to the bread i
02:16:12
picked out the brand we would usually
02:16:14
buy and at that time i really liked
02:16:16
baguettes and other types of breads so
02:16:17
when i saw the baguettes i totally
02:16:19
forgot that my mom was waiting for me
02:16:20
and i grabbed a loaf then i headed back
02:16:23
to my mom so when i was heading back to
02:16:24
my mom from the bread aisle i felt
02:16:26
someone pull on my hair and not gently
02:16:29
no they yanked it they pulled so hard i
02:16:31
thought my hair was gonna come out and i
02:16:33
cried so hard my mom heard me across the
02:16:36
store it turns out it was a kid about my
02:16:39
age who wanted to touch my hair so his
02:16:41
mom and i say his 40 year old mother
02:16:45
pulled my hair so her kid could touch it
02:16:48
my mom rushed over and told the lady to
02:16:50
let go of me this is how the
02:16:52
conversation went my mom said let my
02:16:55
daughter go
02:16:56
the entitled mom said my child just
02:16:59
wanted to touch her hair she has very
02:17:01
pretty hair me she pulled on my hair it
02:17:04
hurts mom you could have just asked you
02:17:07
can't just pull kid's hair i can call
02:17:09
the police for assault entitled mom you
02:17:11
are harassing me all i did was let my
02:17:14
son touch her hair i can call the police
02:17:16
on you for harassing me and my child my
02:17:19
mom firstly i am not harassing you you
02:17:22
assaulted my child and secondly you can
02:17:25
call the police you will only be making
02:17:26
things worse for yourself as it turns
02:17:29
out the entitled mom did call the police
02:17:31
and they both took our statements the
02:17:33
entitled mother had given an
02:17:35
over-exaggerated and dramatic report
02:17:38
telling the police as we would find out
02:17:40
later that i had given consent for her
02:17:43
kid to touch my hair and my mom had come
02:17:45
out of nowhere and started harassing the
02:17:47
entitled mother my mother had given the
02:17:49
police the actual report from her side i
02:17:51
had been asked to give a report but i
02:17:53
was too scared and tired from the
02:17:54
experience to say much they checked the
02:17:57
security footage and saw what actually
02:17:59
happened i don't remember the next part
02:18:01
so bear with me here my mom decided to
02:18:03
press charges and sue the entitled mom
02:18:06
for assaults and then she was sent to
02:18:08
jail for six months and fined for
02:18:10
providing a false police report as a
02:18:13
cherry on top if she's in a store and
02:18:15
she's gonna lie about what happened to
02:18:17
the police they're obviously gonna check
02:18:19
the security camera footage why would
02:18:21
she not think that that was the outcome
02:18:22
that was inevitably going to happen that
02:18:24
actually makes sense and regardless of
02:18:26
how cool you think someone's hair is why
02:18:28
would you pull on it to the point where
02:18:30
the girl was about to cry i mean you
02:18:32
shouldn't touch it in the first place
02:18:33
but she didn't just touch it she yanked
02:18:35
it so hard that the little girl thought
02:18:37
she was gonna cry the op here so if
02:18:39
you're in this situation let me know
02:18:40
what you would do and who was the
02:18:42
biggest jerk here in today's episode of
02:18:45
entitled people how to ruin your life so
02:18:49
about 10 months ago a guy goes down
02:18:51
outside a strip mall store has a medical
02:18:53
alert bracelet on about a heart
02:18:55
condition paramedics get called which
02:18:57
arrive quickly they show up in a
02:19:00
four-door pickup with bed shell all fire
02:19:02
engine red flashing lights and sirens
02:19:05
fire department paramedics all over the
02:19:06
truck they jump out and start hooking
02:19:09
this guy up to blood pressure cuff
02:19:10
sticking the heart monitor pads onto him
02:19:12
etc a karen rolls up behind the
02:19:14
paramedic truck and starts screaming
02:19:17
that the truck cut her off at the
02:19:19
intersection with the lights and sirens
02:19:21
then she demands that the paramedic look
02:19:24
at her as she melts down while he is
02:19:27
starting cpr on the victim the paramedic
02:19:30
is obviously ignoring her entirely but
02:19:33
has to get something from the truck she
02:19:35
blocks his way and gets moved aside as
02:19:38
he goes to the truck this is where karen
02:19:40
pulls out the pepper spray hoses the
02:19:43
standing paramedic directly in the face
02:19:46
but she's not done she sprays the second
02:19:48
paramedic on the ground and just for the
02:19:50
trifecta hoses down the heart attack
02:19:53
victim screaming he is too young to have
02:19:56
a heart attack i took it as my cue to
02:19:58
remove her pepper spray and hold on to
02:20:01
her with others until police arrived
02:20:03
still others are trying to help with cpr
02:20:05
while some try to wash the eyes of the
02:20:07
paramedics the police arrive karen goes
02:20:09
immediately into handcuffs and then
02:20:11
attempts to bite slash kick the police
02:20:13
which results in getting hog tied and
02:20:16
her shirt pulled over her face at which
02:20:18
time she screams the r word and the
02:20:21
kicker when police arrest her she starts
02:20:23
with do you know who i am
02:20:26
the results of this whole situation are
02:20:28
two counts of aggravated assaults with a
02:20:31
weapon on the paramedics and two counts
02:20:33
of assault on the police one count of
02:20:35
aggravated assault with the weapon on
02:20:37
the heart attack victim which thankfully
02:20:40
survived and resisting arrest with
02:20:42
violence she is also being sued by the
02:20:45
heart attack victim for 10 million
02:20:47
dollars which she apparently has her
02:20:50
criminal trial is coming up i bought a
02:20:52
new suit for it and my old self will be
02:20:54
there with bells on since the entire
02:20:56
event is on video from two cameras and
02:20:59
who knows how many cell phones it will
02:21:01
be interesting to see what her
02:21:02
high-powered legal team is going to cook
02:21:04
up but ultimately i hope she will be
02:21:06
convicted she will be facing a possible
02:21:08
65 years but practically will only get
02:21:11
about 10 years maximum if any prison
02:21:13
time at all as a side note her husband
02:21:16
is a bank vice president and refused to
02:21:18
make her bail it took her 13 days to get
02:21:20
her family to bail her out who was a
02:21:22
jerk here even if she thought that the
02:21:25
heart attack victim was too young to
02:21:27
have a heart attack why did she think
02:21:29
that they would be faking having a heart
02:21:32
attack who in their right mind would
02:21:34
call the paramedics and then lie on the
02:21:36
ground and pretend to be having a heart
02:21:38
attack even if for some reason it wasn't
02:21:40
a heart attack it was something else how
02:21:41
could you possibly interfere in that the
02:21:43
paramedic is trying to go back to the
02:21:44
truck to get something and she blocks
02:21:46
him that's a pretty serious thing to do
02:21:48
because this could be a life or death
02:21:50
situation and obviously it was because
02:21:52
he was having a heart attack but man i i
02:21:54
don't know how she has 10 million

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